Cappuccino CoachingUnderstanding Yourself

(finding out what makes you tick)

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Welcome & Introduction(Give a few lines of introduction about yourself)

• “In my coaching I help …” (e.g - people with relationship issues or struggling with overwhelm)

• “Through questioning & coaching skills I help people …” (e.g– determine what their life purpose is, to set boundaries, set action plans & take action in their lives)

• “I’m a bit like a plumber – I help people unblock their problems!”

©Ruby McGuire 2014

What are Cappuccino Coaching Sessions?

©Ruby McGuire 2014

• A way of learning what coaching is

• A starting point for taking action and making some small changes in your life

• Safe environment – get involved as little or as much as you choose

• In business? A way of meeting like minded people, bring your business cards & share

• Not in business? Just mingle, make new friends

What We Will Cover Today• What values are

• Identifying your top values

• How to use values to help with decision making

• Conflict of values

• Where you are honouring your values, or not

• Set action steps

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Who Are You?• Ever noticed how someone might say something that

they’ve thought/said or done that’s been alien to you?

• Do you know why certain things stress you out and others don’t?

• By knowing your values you are better able to determine what’s a good fit for you

• Give an example of conflict of values (i.e. I use my HR story)

©Ruby McGuire 2014

What Are Values?• Values are ‘principles or standards of behaviour; one’s

judgement of what is important in life’ (e.g. freedom, money, love)

• Core values – What you need to have in your life in order to be you? (if value is freedom & being told what to do at every step in life or work it will be uncomfortable)

• A compass to guide you – to give you direction in life –

greater clarity and focus

• Everyone has their own unique set of values

Talk in pairs – what values spring to mind for you?©Ruby McGuire 2014

What Are Your Values?(Hand out list of values)

Look through the list and circle or put a tick against things that you need to be you

(give 5 mins for task, they can add own words to list if they wish)

Now try and pick out your top 5(You can refine the list at home but for now just spend 10 mins on it –

use your gut instinct – no second guessing yourself)

Let’s talk through the values you’ve put and why you think they are important to you

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Not sure if it’s really a value?(Optional content – depends how interactive the group are)

• If you’re doing it in order to get something else, it’s not a value

• If it’s really exciting & you’re afraid of it, it may be a value

• If you want it, but it doesn’t come easily, it’s probably a ‘should’

• If you did it when you were 8 years old it’s probably a value

• If you need it to be happy, it’s a need, not a value©Ruby McGuire 2014

What Are Your Values?• Did you find that a challenge?

• Difficult to choose because things were similar or wanted both on your list

• At home ask yourself – “What’s more important – x or y”

(Optional exercise or homework) Want to take this deeper? When prioritising take your top 2 values and ask which one you couldn’t live without, i.e. honesty or family – if you had honesty but no family would that work? Then ask if you could live the rest of your life without it – Tough stuff!

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Why Are Your Values Important To You?

Now comes the fun bit – figuring out what it all means for you

• For each of your top values write down what that value means to you

• Share your top value and why it is important to you

• Understanding why it’s important will help to give you more direction in life

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Using Values For Decision Making• Have you wondered ‘what’s the right thing to do’?

• Great question to ask is, “How does this decision fit with my values?” (e.g– applying for a job – it seems to tick all the boxes but you have a niggling doubt about something)

• Often your indecision or feeling of discomfort can be because there is a conflict of values(e.g – your value is contribution but you’ve heard the managers aren’t great at

encouraging fresh ideas from their employees - conflict)

• When your values are in conflict life can be stressful – Like a tug of war – it can cause confusion &uncertainty; you might feel torn, scattered

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Conflict Of Values(Optional content – depends how interactive the group are)

• What if you have two conflicting values? They seem to contradict each other

• It could just be the words you’ve chosen. If not then ask these questions;

• What is the impact of this conflict?• What is at risk for me by not honouring that value?• How can I prioritise these values or get an acceptable balance of

both in my life?• How will I reconcile this conflict?

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Conflict Of Values(Optional content – depends how interactive the group are)

• What if your values are in conflict with someone else?

• It’s about choice

• What do you choose to do?

• Agree to disagree• Come to a compromise• Decide that the conflict is completely dishonouring your values &

make the decision to walk away

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Living & Honouring Your ValuesThe next stage is to work out where you are living & honouring the values in your life

• When you are living your values you are living life on purpose, not by accident

• You can use your values as a compass – to guide you

• You will make better decisions & act with more clarity

• You’ll also be happier & more fulfilled too!

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Living & Honouring Your Values(Additional content – this is useful for 1-2-1 sessions)

Think of a time when you were feeling as though you were doing what you were supposed to be doing in your life. What were you being/doing/having?

• What values were present for you at that time?

• How do those values match your core values now?

• Are they different? Values can change – with age, big life events such as bereavement, divorce – you may suddenly realise the longevity of life & your priorities change

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Reviewing Your Values(Additional content – this is useful for 1-2-1 sessions)

• Take each of your top 5 values & write down why it’s important to you. How does it help you to be you?

• Where in your life are your top 5 values being met/not met? (If your top value is family how much time do you spend with them? I mean quality time? If you’re working too hard then there may be a real conflict going on between spending time with them & running your own business)

• Let’s look at where you’re meeting those values in life & where you need to/could honour them more (if one of your values is peace but you have a constant inner anxiousness then what needs to happen for you to feel more at peace so that your core value is met?)

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Action Steps• Ideally you need to be living all of your values every day

for you to be at your best

• Where are you honouring/not honouring your values?

• What’s stopping you from honoring it/them?

• For now list any values that you’d like to work on. What do you need to do to bring more of that particular value into your life?

• What one thing WILL you do specifically in thenext 24-48 hours? (Set a reminder for the action you will take -Pin up a note, stick a post-it note on pc, diary note etc)

©Ruby McGuire 2014

One Step Further• Want accountability? Share your top 3 values and action

steps in the Facebook group and be held accountable

• Pat yourself on the back because this is a thought provoking module – you deserve a cuppa once you’ve cracked this (and maybe even a teeny weeny slice of cake)

• Start to notice how your values are part of your day to day life and the difference it makes when you live your life on purpose instead

©Ruby McGuire 2014

What We’ve Covered Today• What values are

• Identifying your top values

• How to use values to help with decision making

• Conflict of values

• Where you are honouring your values, or not

• Set action steps

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Enjoyed Today’s Session?• Come back next month for our topic on ….

• Tell your friends, follow on facebook, twitter etc (give business card if you have one)

• Want to work with me 1-2-1 (here’s how…)

• If you’ve left your name will add it to my mailing list – latest topics, hints/tips etc

• I will leave you with some words of wisdom fromElvis Presley

©Ruby McGuire 2014

Words of Wisdom

“Values are like fingerprints

Nobody’s are the same but you leave them over everything you do”

- ELVIS PRESLEY -

©Ruby McGuire 2014