On Physical Beauty and Happy Marriage

In “Cathedral”, the author Raymond Carver weaves out a fascinating story about a

meeting between a seeing man who has limited sight about people around him and a blind man

who can connect with people emotionally. The protagonist as well as the narrator is an Air Force

officer. He tends to only see the the physical appearances of people around him. Robert, a blind

man, is the friend of the narrator’s wife. Despite his blindness, he is able to see the people around

him whole-heartedly. The whole story revolves around an irony: the narrator who advocates

outward beauty as a fundament of an agreeable relationship does not find comfort in his own

relationship.

Even though narrator believes physical appearance is the most important component of a

happy relationship, and he pays attention to the physical beauty of his wife, his relationship with

his wife is not enjoyable at all. When the narrator learns Robert has a wife, he can hardly grasp

how they could live satisfactorily without seeing each other. Thus, he shows pity towards them

solely because they cannot appreciate the physical beauty of each other. The narrator ponders

Robert’s wife “could wear makeup or not-what difference to [Robert]”(360)? His opinions on

physical beauty reflect himself as a superficial person who only pays attention to the bodily

beauty of his wife. Throughout the short story, never has he commented on the personalities of

his wife. Rather, his only compliment comes from his observation of his wife lying on the sofa.

He comments his wife’s thighs are “juicy”(368). The narrator can only acknowledge carnal

beauty but not the charm of mind or heart. Ironically, in spite of his belief, he is not happy about

his life. He confesses to the reader: “Every night [he smokes] dope and [stays] up as long as [he]

could before [he falls] asleep. [His] wife and [him] hardly ever [go] to bed at the same

time”(368). It is common for the couple to go to bed together. It is a sign of intimacy and that the

two are comfortable with each other. Meanwhile, the narrator’s behavior of staying up produces

an impression that gap exists between him and his wife. Furthermore, by choosing to smoke dope

over sleeping with his wife, the narrator reveals to the reader that he finds more comfort in

drugging himself than sharing a bed with his wife. Despite being a couple, the narrator and his

wife seem to find no comfort living together. The narrator’s unsatisfying relationship proves that

superficial beauty is not necessary for a pleasant marriage.

The outward appearance should never be the basis of any kind of relationship between

people. Furthermore, I feel outward experience is an obstacle to people true understandings to

each other. The outward appearances often create gaps during people’s communications because

certain facial feature elicits sensual responses from people that distract people from

conversations. For example, I find it much harder to profess myself when I am talking to a

beautiful looking girl than a comely looking girl. However, if I block my vision and just listen to

their voices, I begin to understand them better and can see what kind of a person they are.

Therefore, the outward feature of a person is only a distraction of the true understanding among

people. I also find it true when I am talking to foreigners. When I first come to America, not only

the language is a barrier but also the anxiety when I am looking at people with completely

different facial features than Asians. At first, my mind is so uncomfortable with the difference in

facial feature that I can hardly keep a conversation. However, if I deprive me of my vision, I

would encounter no such problem. My mind will only focus on the conversation instead of the

differences in facial appearances.

Works Cited

Carver, Raymond. "Cathedral." Where I'm Calling From: New and Selected Stories. New York:

Vintage, 1989. 365-78. Print.