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“Catch Us If You Can” Script

Act I Scene 1- Clinic (Doctor’s Room)

Dr Nicol : Are you all dried now Mr McIntosh?

Granda : No thanks to this boy here. He practically drowned me.

Rory : You were on fire Granda, I put you out.

Granda : If I catch double pneumonia, it‟s all your fault. (pronounces „p-eumonia‟)

Dr Nicol : Ok, now, Rory, do you have all of your Granda‟s prescriptions?

Rory : Yes, I do.

Dr Nicol : And does he take his pills regularly?

Rory : I make sure he does doctor.

Dr Nicol : You‟re a lucky man to have a grandson like Rory, Mr McIntosh. I‟m going to do

my best to get you a home help.

Granda : We don‟t need anybody do we? I‟m a good help, so I am, son?

Rory : You‟re brilliant, granda.

Dr Nicol : Rory, can‟t do everything. He does the shopping and the cooking, and cleans the

house. He‟s only a boy, Mr McIntosh. He needs help.

Granda : (feels guilty, but is stubborn and determined) Alright, thank you for your advice

doctor, but we can manage on our own. We‟ll be on our way, then.

Dr Nicol : (Dr Nicol holds back Rory, as granda shuffles out of the office) How‟s his memory

these days, Rory?

Rory : Well. I found his shoes in the fridge and the milk at the bottom of the wardrobe this

morning, but other than that he‟s fine.

Dr Nicol Phone me if you need me, Rory.

Act I Scene 2- School (Classroom)

Rory : So, what excuse can I give old Holy Foley? I can‟t say I‟ve forgotten it again.

Darren : Tell her the aliens took it. I saw that on telly last night. Aliens captured this boy and

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when they brought him back he couldn‟t remember anything.

Mrs Foley : Where is your homework jotter Rory?

Rory : The aliens took it Mrs Foley.

Mrs Foley : Hmmm, is that so Rory McIntosh?

Rory : I lost it, Mrs Foley. I‟m really sorry.

Mrs Foley : Rory, I almost believe that. It‟s so simple. No aliens, no dogs fighting over it. No

seagulls flying past you and whipping it out of your hands. (Bends down closer to

Rory) How‟s your grandfather these days?

Rory : He is doing fine, Mrs Foley.

Mrs Foley : Is he coming along to Parents‟ Night?

Rory : Of course he is.

Mrs Foley : Good. Now, I‟d like you to stay behind at lunchtime to do your homework.

Rory : No, can do Mrs Foley. My granda makes me lunch. He‟ll be waiting for me.

Act 1 Scene 3- Flats

Rory : Granda, I brought you lunch from the bakery. Here‟s your hot pie. Make sure you

take your pills. I have to return to school again. I‟ll be back in the evening.

Granda : Oh, thank you, son. Won‟t you have lunch with me? I hate eating alone.

Rory : Alright granda. Let‟s eat together, but be quick.

Act 1 Scene 4- Flats (Living room)

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Rory and granda are watching television.

Granda : What are you thinking about son?

Rory : I‟m wondering what my dad was like, granda.

Granda : He was a spoiled brat of a boy! I‟ve told you a hundred times. I was too old to be a

dad. Too blinking old. I told your granny that. But she was that happy to have a

baby. We both spoiled him rotten. Anything he wanted he got, and when he got

tired of it, he threw it aside. He did that with your mother. It killed her. She was

heartbroken.

When your dad left, I told him never to come back. Never wanted to hear from him

again. He was a waste of space, Rory. A waste of space! Irresponsible and

ungrateful son…

Rory : I‟m sorry I asked you granda. It‟s just sometimes I wonder about him.

Granda : The only son I‟ve got now is you, Rory. You‟re the best boy that ever lived. I don‟t

need anybody else, and neither do you.

Act 1 Scene 5- School ( Parents’ Night Day)

Darren : Hello Granda.

Granda : Hello, Darren, son. How are you? Top of the class as usual?

Darren : Me, I‟m bottom of the class. Always have been.

Granda : ( Looking around) Okay, where is this Holy Foley?

Rory : Don‟t call her that to her face, granda!

Darren : Aw, go on Granda. I dare you. That would be such a laugh.

Rory : Darren, don‟t tell him that. She‟ll slaughter me!

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Mrs Foley : Hello, Rory, and this must be Mister McIntosh. It‟s so nice to meet you at last.

Granda : I‟ve heard a lot about you Mrs Foley.

Mrs Foley : What I really wanted to talk about was Rory‟s homework-

Granda : I make sure he does his homework.

Mrs Foley : Yes, perhaps you do. Unfortunately, I never see it. Strange things happen to

Rory‟s homework.

( Granda leans closer to Mrs Foley, looking at her, like he‟s going to kiss her)

Granda : You have got a moustache.

(Mrs Foley is at a loss for words. Suddenly, she starts to smell the air)

Mrs Foley : What is that smell?

Granda : That‟s smoke. Something‟s on fire.

(Someone yells „FIRE!‟, and points at the coat stand. Smoke alarms go off)

Granda : That‟s my coat!

Mrs Foley : And that‟s mine!

(Someone enters with a pail and splashes it at the coats)

Mrs Foley : You forgot to put off your pipe and left it smouldering in your coat pocket. My

coat is ruined. It was dry clean only. This is your fault.

Granda : But I didn‟t mean to…

Act 1 Scene 6- Flats (Living room)

Val Jessup comes to meet Rory and Granda.

Val Jessup : I‟m a social worker assigned to your case.

Rory : I didn‟t know we had a case. Did Mrs Foley send you?

Val : No, it was actually Dr Nicol who got us on to your case.

Granda : I don‟t know what that daft doctor thinks we need a social worker for. Is this

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because he lost his homework? It‟ll never happen again.

Act 1 Scene 7- School (Classroom)

Mrs Foley : How are things at home now, Rory?

Rory : We‟ve got a social worker.

Mrs Foley : I‟m glad about that, at least. You do need some help.

Rory : We‟re getting a home help as well.

Mrs Foley : Oh, wonderful.

(Lunchtime bell rings. Rory runs out of school and to the baker)

Baker : Oh, Rory, son. There‟s something going on at your flats. The Fire Brigade‟s

been there and somebody got taken away in an ambulance.

Policeman : Watch it laddie. Where do you think you‟re going?

Rory : I live here. Where‟s my Granda?

Mrs

MacKay

: I knew this would happen. I just knew that daft old idiot would set something

on fire one of these days.

Rory : Don‟t you dare say that about my granda!

Policeman : (glares at Mrs MacKay) You‟re granda‟s gone to the hospital but he‟s going to

be all right.We‟ll get a car to take you to the hospital.

Rory : What happened? Why is he getting the blame? It might not have been his fault.

I hid his pipe. I always hide his pipe when I‟m not there.

Policeman : I‟m afraid it looks as if he left the chip pan on and forgot about it. Major cause

of fires, son.

Rory : A chip pan? What was my granda doing with a chip pan?

Act 1 Scene 8- Hospital Room

Male : Looking for Mr McIntosh?

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nurse

Rory : How‟s my granda?

Male

nurse

: He‟s suffered from smoke inhalation. He‟s very weak at the moment. We‟ve

tried to have him on oxygen…But your granda doesn‟t look too good.

However, he‟s going to be okay. Not to worry about that. But what I can assure

you is that he‟ll need a lot of looking after.

Rory : Then, I‟ll be the one looking after him. Are you sure he‟s going to be alright?

Male

nurse

: Try not to worry about him too much, although he looks worse than he is. He‟s

made of strong stuff, your grandfather. Perhaps you might want to sit with him

for a while? (Leaves room)

Rory : Listen, Big Man, my name‟s Rory. I know I don‟t talk to You much, but You‟re

busy with wars and famine and things. And me and my granda are usually

doing okay. So, I hope You‟re going to listen to me now. I don‟t give You

much trouble. So a bit of help would be much appreciated. I want him to wake

up. I promise I‟ll never shout at him again, even when he slurps his tea. I‟ll

even listen to his endless stories about his bowel movements. I‟ll never moan or

complain about him again…I promise…if You just let him wake up.

Val : (Enters room) I believe he‟s going to be all right.

Rory : I don‟t understand how it happened. I mean, what was he doing with the chip

pan? I always bring in pies.

Val : Maybe we‟ll have to wait. Perhaps until he wakes up before we know that.

Rory : Do you get paid overtime for this?

Val : It‟s my responsibility as you are my client. But we have to think of getting you

to bed. It‟s getting late.

Rory : But I‟m staying here with my granda.

Val : I don‟t think it‟s possible, Rory. You need a goodnight‟s sleep. And probably

by the time you come tomorrow he‟ll be sitting up and talking and feeling a lot

better for knowing that you‟re being taken care of too.

Rory : Okay, I‟ll go home. Is the flat ok?

Val : I‟m afraid I have to say no. But even if the flat were in a liveable condition, you

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know we couldn‟t allow you to stay there by yourself.

Rory : So where am I going?

Val : You‟re going to stay at the children‟s home at Castle Street.

Rory : I don‟t want to go there.

Val : I know you don‟t Rory, but we‟re going to look after you while your

grandfather is still in hospital. And it‟s not as bad as you think. The staff there

are really nice people.

Act 1 Scene 9- Castle Street Children’s Home

Rory : If I could only stop my heart from thumping. This place is scary! If only I could

say NO! It‟s okay. I‟m only here till my granda is out of hospital. One night!

Tony : Hello, you must be Rory? I‟m Tony. Come on in and meet everybody. This is

Jackie. (Jackie waves hand) Get to know Georgie (she smiles) and Tom.

Tom : Want some toast, Rory? There‟s cheese as well.

Jackie : Take a pew. How‟s your grandpa?

Val : I told them your granda‟s not well, Rory. In hospital.

Rory : He‟s okay, I suppose.

Val : Well, it seems that you‟re going to fit in here. I‟ll be back in the morning. To

take you to the hospital of course. (Val leaves)

Jackie : So, you‟re not going to school tomorrow? How lucky!

Tony : Only for tomorrow. After that, it‟s business as usual. So, Rory, I‟ll take this bag

up to your room. Let‟s finish your supper first.

Rory : I‟m only here till my granda gets out of the hospital.

Jackie : Aye, right! That‟s what they told me. “Just till your mother can cope again,

son.” And that was three years ago.

Georgie : Shut up, Jackie! Remember how you felt the first night you came here. So how

must Rory feel? And he‟s worried about his grandpa too.

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Rory : I call him my granda, not my grandpa.

Georgie : Sorry.

Tess : (Only voice heard) Bastards! All of you! I‟m not your feckin‟ servant! Let me

go, you old cow! Shameless tart!

Rory : Who‟s that?

Tom : It‟s Tess. She goes berserk whenever they turn the television off and she has to

go to bed.

Jackie : She shouldn‟t be here! I heard Tony talking today. She‟s mad. Totally off the

wall. You never know what she‟s going to do next.

(Tess enters. A woman is behind her, trying to hold her back.

Tess : Don‟t you dare touch me, I‟ll tell my social worker you‟ve been battering me!

Woman : Go ahead, and see if anyone believes you.

Tess : What‟s that!

Tom : This is Rory, Tess. He‟ll be staying with us for a while.

Tess : He‟s sitting in my seat.

(Tess makes a dive towards Rory. Rory jumps out of the seat automatically.

Woman : You‟re not going anywhere. You‟re going up to your room. Now.

(Tess kicks the table. Everything on the table is a mess. Everybody jumps out of the table)

Tess : Ha! If I‟m not sitting. Nobody is. (Leaves room with woman)

Rory : What makes her so angry?

Jackie : She‟s that type. The type that will always find something to be angry about.

Tony : She‟s not going to be here for long. There‟s another place for her they‟ve been

arranging.

Tom : I know. It‟s called the local jail.

Jackie : Beside her ma.

Rory : I need to get out of here. As soon as possible. Oh, granda, why has this thing

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happened to us?

Act 1 Scene 10- Hospital Room

Granda : Rory, my boy!

Rory : Granda, I thought you were going to die.

Granda : It would have to take more than a load of old smoke to kill me, my son.

Rory : What happened granda?

Granda : It‟s just that I was trying to help. You were bringing in the pies so I thought I‟d

make us some chips to go with them.

Rory : You daft old devil! You left the chip pan on didn‟t you?

Granda : I was looking for the potatoes. I was rummaging the wardrobe for them, and

that‟s the last thing I remember (cough)

Rory : How do you feel granda?

Granda : Me? Fighting fit. (cough) Where did you sleep last night? Did Mrs MacKay

take you in?

Rory : That old bat? You‟ve got to be joking, granda. I‟m fine. I totally am.

Granda : But where? Did that nice lassie let you stay with her?

Rory : (hesitates) Ermm...ummm….

Granda : They didn‟t take you to that Castle Street did they?

Rory : To be honest, it was all right granda. Everyone was dead nice.

Granda : No grandson of mine is going to Castle Street! Not while I‟m alive! Nurse! Get

my clothes. I‟m getting out of here!

Granda starts shouting and struggling to get out of bed. Nurse and Val Jessup hold granda down,

while granda is given sleeping pills. Granda falls asleep). (Lights out)

Rory : Just you get better soon, granda. And we‟ll come home together.

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Act 1 Scene 11- Phone call

Val : (Voice only) Rory, I‟m going to pick you up after school tomorrow as usual. I

have something to talk to you about before visiting granda. Good day.

Rory : Oh, okay…

Act 1 Scene 12- Hospital Room

(No nurses around, Rory tiptoed closer to the bed)

Rory : Granda, it‟s only me…(surprised that Granda is not there) NO! Granda!

Granda! Where are you?

Nurse : (comes in) what are you doing here Rory?

Rory : Where‟s my granda? He‟s dead isn‟t he?

Nurse : Listen to me Rory…

Rory : No! My Granda‟s dead. You‟ve let him die!

(Two other nurses come in and hold Rory. Rory struggles)

Nurse : One of you phone Val Jessup.The number‟s on my desk. The other, come and

help me with Rory.

Rory, please listen to me. Rory, your granda‟s not dead.

Rory : Are you telling me the truth?

Nurse : He‟s fine. We‟ve had to move him, that‟s all.

Rory : Move him? To another ward? Which one? Can I go and see him now?

Nurse : Val will take you to see him. She‟ll be here soon.

Rory : Wait, my granda‟s definitely not dead?

Nurse : Right. Why don‟t you come into my office and wait for Val.

(Val Jessup arrives)

Nurse : I‟ll leave this to you, shall I? (Nurse leaves)

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Rory : Right. Where‟s my granda? Something‟s wrong. I know it.

Val Jessup : We‟ve had to move your granda, Rory. It‟s been a difficult decision for

everyone.

Rory : What do you mean by that? A difficult decision? Move him where?

Val : I don‟t think your grandfather will be able to come home with you. He‟s been

assessed and it‟s been decided that he‟s just not fit enough.

Rory : You mean he has to stay in hospital for a while? Tell me. Where have you put

him? Where is my granda?

Val : Rachnadar.

Act 1 Scene 13- Rachnadar

(Rory sees granda crying and he starts to cry too)

Granda : Rory, son, what am I doing here? I thought they were taking me home, to

surprise you and they took me here. Are you here to take me home tonight?

Rory : I can‟t granda. They won‟t let me.

Granda : I‟ve let you down my son. I‟ve let your gran down. I promised her to look after

you, and where have you ended up? In Castle Street of all places. Oh, your gran

will be cursing me upside down.

Rory : Granda, you have never ever let me down. I‟ll tell my gran that when I say my

prayers. Please don‟t talk like that granda.

Act 1 Scene 15- Castle Street

Tess : I hate everyone! The world is so unfair, everyone is out to get me! Get off me,

you bloody tart! You're not my bloody mom, for God‟s sake!

Rory : Belt up! Everybody here is fed up listening to you. We‟ve all got problems, so

shut your gob.

(Everyone is silent for a while, including Tess. Tess goes wild and throws herself across the table

at Rory. Tess grabs Rory‟s t-shirt till it chokes him, both of them fall to the floor. Tess punches

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Rory in the face. Nellie and Tony pull them apart)

Tess : I‟ll make you sorry, you said that Rory McIntosh. Just you wait and see!

Act 1 Scene 16- Castle Street (Bedroom)

(Rory lies in bed, trying to sleep)

Granda : (Voice only) If I were younger, I‟d run away from here to somewhere they‟d

never find me.

Rory : I know what I have to do. Me and my granda are going to run away.

ACT 2- THE GREAT ESCAPE

Act 2 Scene 1- School

Darren : Go to my mum‟s caravan. Don‟t worry of my dad. Everything is my mum‟s.

She‟s closed it up for the winter. It‟s dead secluded. Nobody would ever find

you there. Like ever.

Rory : But you‟ve got to promise me you won‟t say a word. On your cat‟s grave.

Promise!

Darren : Yea, sure. I promise. Here‟s the key. I think you should go soon. Old Holy

Foley‟s got plans for you.

Rory : Ok, much thanks Darren.

Act 2 Scene 2- Rachnadar

(That night, Rory tiptoes into granda‟s room)

Granda : Rory, my boy. Have you come back to visit me?

Rory : Shhh, granda. I‟ve come to rescue you. We‟re going. (Packs up granda‟s things,

slips on coat for granda)

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Come on, granda. We‟re going. Quick, granda. Get your shoes on.

Granda : Where am I going, son?

Rory : Come on granda. I‟m getting you out of here.

Act 2 Scene 3- Train Station

Rory : Get into the train, granda.

Granda : Eh, what? I can‟t hear you Rory. I‟ve not got my hearing aid on.

They arrive at their stop.

Rory : Let‟s go granda. This is our stop.

Granda : We‟re going on a boat, son?

Rory shakes his head. He takes granda‟s hand and leads him out of the deserted station.

Act 2 Scene 4- Caravan

(Rory checks for text messages, just in case Darren had texted in the night, warning him. He is

relieved there are none).

Rory : Oh, thank goodness, no one‟s called or sent me a message. We‟re safe, for now.

(Rory is startled to find granda in the kitchen, in his pyjamas, making coffee for him.)

Rory : That old man thinks it‟s coffee. For God‟s sake, he‟s spooning Bisto into a cup.

Granda, what are you doing up?

Granda : I‟m fighting fit! I‟m A1! Sit down and have your breakfast.

No milk. But she‟s got some whitener stuff.

Rory : I just hope it‟s not arsenic!

(Granda and Rory sing a duet “My Way of Life” by Frank Sinatra)

Gotta have you near all the time, with your dreams wrapped up in mine.

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Gotta be a part of your soul and your heart all the time.

Nothing in the world that I do means a thing without you.

I'm just half alive in my struggle to survive without you.

You are my way of life, the only way I know; you are my way of life.

I'll never let you go, never let you out of my sight, be it day, be it night,

You belong to me, that's the way it will, be wrong or right,

I don't need crowds at my door, the applause from the floor,

All I need is you and the love we once knew, nothing more.

You are my way of life, the only way I know; make me your way of life.

(After song ends, they go on a walk together)

Granda : I could go on a puff of my pipe…

Rory : Sorry, granda. I forgot it. Anyway, the doctor told you to give it up. It was bad

for you.

Granda : You forgot my pipe! Are you daft or something?

Rory : I had a lot to remember-your pills, your teeth, and your hearing aid. There‟s that

many bits of you to remember! You‟re never grateful.

Granda : But my pipe! I can‟t believe you forgot that!

Act 2 Scene 5- Outdoors

Granda : This is lovely…I used to come here when I was a boy. It wasn‟t a caravan site,

then. It was a Boy Scouts Camp. Used to fish in the pond in the woods.

I caught a good many fish in that water.

Rory : Maybe you could fish again granda. Catch us something for our tea.

Granda : Aye, anything would be better than the junk she keeps in her cupboards.

Granda starts to sing at the top of his voice, the rest of the crew join and have a lengthy dance

and song sequence)

You and me, we wanted it all, we wanted it all, passion without pain, sunshine

without rainy days, we wanted it always, you and me, we reached for the skies…

(taken from „You and Me Wanted it All‟ by Frank Sinatra).

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(After the song ends, granda‟s line becomes taut and begins to jerk)

Granda : Got one! Thar she blows!

(Rory grabs granda‟s line to help him pull. Together they pull the line. Granda swung it to the

bank, whooping like a cowboy)

Granda : WHOO-HOO! It‟s a biggun! How about a nice bit of trout for our tea?

Rory : Is it a trout?

(Suddenly, a boy and a man walk into the scene)

Tyrone : What are you two doing here?

Rory : What‟s it to you?

Sammy : We‟ve not seen you here before? Do you live here?

Rory : No. Just visiting. My granny‟s got a caravan.

Granda : Here! You two get the hell away from us and mind your own business!

Sammy : Aye, you mind your own business and I‟ll mind mine, old man. Come on,

Tyrone. (They leave)

Rory : Granda! That was really rude.

Granda : Tinkers! Don‟t trust „em. Don‟t like „em.

Rory : They are just travelers, granda. I don‟t think you‟re supposed to call them

tinkers, you know.

Granda : Tinkers! They would be after my fish.

Rory : Travellers. And they wouldn‟t be interested in your old fish.

Granda : Tinkers!

Rory : Travellers!

Act 2 Scene 6- (Darren’s Mum’s Caravan, Outdoors, Tyrone’s Caravan)

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(Rory reads a message from Darren while granda is snoring along the seat)

Rory : (Reads aloud) “THEY NO WHRE U R. THEYR CUMING. RUN.”

Granda! Granda, wake up. We‟ve got to go. They know where we are.

Granda : (woke up with a shock and starts panicking) Get my bag! Get my pills!

Rory : Got „em.

Granda : I‟m ready!

Rory : Your shoes, granda. And your coat. And your scarf.

Come on, granda. Time to go. (Leave caravan)

Granda : Where are we going son?

Rory : Somewhere safe, granda. Shhh! They are coming.

Granda : I feel just like that Humphrey Bogart escaping from the Nazis. Exciting, isn‟t

it?

Rory : Shhhhh!

Suddenly, a hand was clamped round Rory‟s mouth. They thought they were caught.

Sammy : You need to get away. Come with us. We‟re going to help you.

(Granda wasn‟t so trusting. He started to struggle. Rory reached out and held his hand.)

Rory : It‟s okay, granda. Follow me.

There‟s a caravan and a large camper van waiting for them. The door of the camper van opened

and the light flooded out; warm welcoming light.

Tyrone : C‟mon.

Ruby : Here, I‟ll get him some water.

(Rory took the water, pressed the pills between granda‟s lips and forced him to drink. Rory

didn‟t say anything until he saw his breathing become easier. Finally, granda opened his eyes

and smiled at Rory. Then, Rory turned to Tyrone and his mother and asked. Ruby was making a

mug of tea for granda.)

Rory : What are you helping us for?

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Ruby : The police would have got you if we hadn‟t.

Rory : But you don‟t know anything about us. Why should you help us?

Tyrone : Don‟t know anything about you? You‟re famous, don‟t you know that? You‟ve

been on the telly every night; “Rory McIntosh and his grandfather, on the run.

Get in touch. We only want to help.” They want to help! I don‟t think. They

want to lock you up, more like.

Ruby : We figured it was you two that my man met the other day. Decided if you need

help, we‟d help you.

Granda : But why should the likes of you help us? I mean, I wasn‟t very nice to your man

the other day.

Ruby : We‟re used to that. Anyway- it was the boy we were thinking about. The same

age as my Tyrone.

Every place we stop we have social workers in, checking he‟s getting his

education, that we‟re not battering lumps out of him every night. People like us

can‟t love children obviously.

Tyrone : Every time we stop we get this terrible feeling that they‟re going to take me

away from my mum and dad.

Granda : (finally catches up with the conversation) Famous you say? On the telly every

night? I hope they use a good photo of me.

Ruby : It was both of you actually. A holiday photo, I think. You looked a lot younger

then, let me tell you. Kind of handsome, eh? Better keep quiet, eh? Softly does

it.

Act 2 Scene 7- Tyrone’s Caravan

(Rory woke up next morning, while granda was still sleeping. Ruby came to invite him for

breakfast)

Ruby : Let your grandfather sleep. You come and have some breakfast.

Sammy : Mornin‟

Rory : Morning. (Eats food given by Ruby)

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This is awful good of you.

Sammy : Thank her. She‟s the softy in the family.

Rory : I‟m sorry my granda wasn‟t very nice to you the other day.

Sammy : Ach, he‟s an old man. My Pa was the same. He was an old ba-

Ruby : Language, Sammy!

Sammy : Bandit. I was going to say he was an old bandit.

Granda : (granda appears) Do I smell bacon? Where am I? How did I get here?

Sammy : Aye, it‟s me, old man. The tinker.

Granda : I didn‟t say that. Tell them, Rory. I didn‟t call him a tinker, did I?

Ruby : Do you fancy a bacon roll, handsome?

Granda : That would be lovely, sweetheart.

Sammy : Sweetheart, is it? That‟s my wife, you know.

Granda : Aye, and you‟re lucky to have her.

Tyrone : (Tyrone appears) Mister Harrison says we can stay here for a couple of days if

we want. We‟ve been here before.

Sammy : That‟s good of him, but we‟re moving off tomorrow. Up north. We‟ve got

family there. It‟s your cousin‟s birthday. (turns to Rory) It would be safer for

you as well. As far away from here as possible.

Ruby : The other caravan went another way. They‟ve gone south just in case we‟d been

followed.

Tyrone switches on television and granda alerted to the news when Darren‟s mum appeared on

the screen.

Tyrone : Have you seen yourselves? You‟re famous.

Granda : How did that baggage get on there? Ergghh. Look at her! Loves being on

television. Thinks she‟s a film star.

Darren’s

mum

: It was my son, Darren , who gave the keys of my caravan to Rory, his best

friend. He didn‟t mean any harm. Thought he was doing the right thing. Of

19

course, as soon as I realized the spare key was missing, I knew what had

happened. I deduced that Darren had given Rory the key so they could hide out

there.

Granda : She deduced! Who does she think she is? Sherlock blinkin‟ Holmes?

Darren’s

mum

: Come back, son. Bring your granda. He can‟t take this. He‟s not well. You

know that. You have to come back.

Granda : I‟m never going back! I‟d rather die of cold and hunger, and be free!

Act 2 Scene 8- The Party

Bernie : Hello there! You must be Mister McIntosh and Rory McIntosh.

Granda : Hello. Wow! You know my name and I don‟t even know yours. Am I famous

or something?

Rory : Hello mister…?

Bernie : Bernie. Call me Bernie. Everyone knows about you both. They are widening

the net looking for you. You really have to set up some plans. Oh, by the way,

meet my beautiful family; this is my wife, my daughter Zara and my son

Joshua.

Granda : Nice to meet all of you. Wonderful people we have around, eh. I‟m Granda and

I know you know me.

Rory : Mind this daft old man. Nice to meet you guys.

Sammy : Allright. Let‟s start the party shall we?

Bernie : Sure, sure… Please help yourself to the food on the table. My wife cooked

scrumptious dishes tonight.

Everyone is in the partying mood. Music fills the air. First up is “Do Not Forsake Me Oh My

Darling”, “Ten Guitars”, an Irish ballad, and finally a rap song. Everybody sings along and start

to dance.

Granda : Ruby, sing a song for us.

Ruby : Ah, it‟s okay granda, I don‟t sing.

20

Bernie : Ruby‟s party piece is to tell fortunes. She‟s got the gift.

Granda : Why don‟t you read Rory‟s future? I‟m sure he‟s got a great one! This boy is

special.

Ruby takes Rory‟s hand and caresses his palm gently, then folds her hand round his and closes

her eyes. She breathes deeply and her voice is low.

Ruby : The people who are looking for you are closing in but they won‟t catch you

Rory.

Rory : Okay…(gives thumbs up sign to granda)

Ruby : They won‟t find you. It‟s you who will go to them. You won‟t have any choice.

You will have many adventures to come. You will meet people who will help

you and there will also be people who you can‟t trust. You will find what

you‟re looking for and when you find it, everything changes for you. But, Rory,

a terrible sadness will come first.

Rory : A terrible sadness? Is it about my Granda? Is my Granda going to be OK,

Ruby?

Granda : Of course I‟m going to be OK. I‟m made of good stuff. Now let‟s sing another

song!

Act 2 Scene 9- Tyrone’s Caravan

Tyrone : Rory, come and see this. Come on!

Rory : What‟s the panic? (Looks at the television)

Reporter : The missing pair was last seen at the caravan park, and it would appear that

travelers were in the area at that time. It seems now that they left at the same

time as the sighting of Mister McIntosh and his grandson. We urge these people

to get in touch. They are in no trouble. They just need to be eliminated from our

enquiries. I have to reiterate that no one is in any trouble here. We are only

concerned for the safety and well-being of Mister McIntosh and his grandson.

What do you think of the old man who is on the run with his grandson? (Asks

people on the street)

1st person : If that old man had any sense he‟d bring the laddie back home. He‟s missing

21

school, and goodness knows what terrible things could happen to him.

2nd

person : I think it‟s wonderful! They don‟t want to be split up, so what choice did they

have?

3rd

person : Leave them be. Let them live and die together. They‟ve not done anything

wrong.

4th

person : We‟ve got criminals, gun culture, drugs and what are the police doing?

Tracking down an old man and a young boy! Wasting police time!

Ruby : You‟re becoming something of a cause célèbre.

Rory : A cause… what?

Ruby : People are taking sides about you, Rory. They are arguing about the rights and

wrongs of your case. The more people who know your plight, the better chance

you have of staying together.

Rory : I am sure that everybody out there is on my side. Hmm.. It‟s time to get granda

up.

Granda, we really have to go now. The people might find us here. Come, let me

get you ready with your essentials.

Granda : Now? OK! Oh, how I miss the adventures on the road! I‟m all geared up for

this!

Sammy : We‟ll drive you to Dundee, and you can get a train from there.

Act 2 Scene 10- On the Train and Getting Off at Perth

(Granda and Rory did not sit together. Suddenly, a woman squashed into a window seat and her

big horsey eyes were staring at Rory.)

Rory : Please Big man, please make her look somewhere else. God, she‟s still

watching! OK, great now she‟s looking towards my granda! We are so grilled!

Granda : Is this our stop?

Rory : We need to go as far away from here as possible, Granda.

Rory and granda get off the train. A young man is standing at a distance watching them.

22

Granda : But I will have to go the toilet first, son.

Rory : Ok, don‟t be in there for too long.

Young

punk

: I thought it was you!

Where‟s the old man? Where‟s your granda? Where is he?

Rory remains silent.

Young

punk

: Away to the lavvy, is he? Hahaha! I knew I recognized you on that train. Know

what I‟m gonny do? I‟m gonny turn you two in. I‟ll be famous. Be on the telly.

Rory : We‟re not criminals. Just let us go, please.

Young

punk

: Let you go? Are you mad? This could be my big break.

Rory : Just let us go! You won‟t even get a reward!

Young

punk

: Fame will be reward enough for me. Right. He comes outta the lavvy and I take

you to the cops.

Rory : I‟m on my own. My Granda stayed on the train. He‟s going to Glasgow. I was

fed up with him anyway.

Young

punk

: You‟re granda‟s too daft to go anywhere on his own. I saw him coming off the

train with you, stupid. As soon as he comes here, you‟re nicked, pal. And he

better hurry up.

Suddenly a bottle is walloped right across his head, and he falls to the ground.

Young

punk

: Ooouuucccchhh!!!

Granda : Daft, am I? Well, I‟m not that daft.

Rory : Granda! You‟ve killed him!

Granda : Rubbish. He‟s fine. Or he will be when he wakes up. Come on, we‟ve got to

make our getaway.

Rory : We weren‟t criminals before, but we are now, Granda. You‟ve just committed

grievous bodily harm.

23

Granda : We are not going to get caught, don‟t you worry yeah, son.

Rory : But, Granda, I don‟t know where to go now. And I don‟t know how to get there

even if I did.

Granda : I know where we‟re going. Anywhere but here, that‟s where. And I know how

we‟re going to get there.

Rory : You do? How?

Granda : We‟re going to steal a car.

Act 2 Scene 11- Stealing A Car

Rory : We‟re going to do what?

Granda : We‟ll hotwire a car. Make a run for it.

Rory : Okay, I can see my future ahead of me…in jail.

Granda! Who do you think we are? What happened to you in the toilet? You

went in a gibbering old loon and came out the Godfather! Did you have a

personality transplant in there? OK, wait, wait, wait. Stop right there. Granda,

you whacked a guy over the head there. You might have killed him, you know.

Granda : Stop talking rubbish, Rory. I promise you he‟ll be fine when he wakes up.

Anyway, it was self-defense.

Rory : Self-defense? So, you think the law will see it like that, huh? And now, to make

matters worse, you want to steal a car! And… how on earth do you know how

to hot-wire a car?

Granda : I was a motor mechanic. I know everything there is to know about motors.

Rory : But hot-wiring is against the law, Granda.

Granda : We are fugitives, Rory. We‟ve got to save ourselves. It‟s us against them.

Anything goes.

Rory : I just don‟t believe this, Granda. I feel like we‟re in an old gangster movie and

you‟re the protagonist.

Granda : Uh-huh! This one will do just fine. (looking at an old, blue Corsa)

24

Rory : Don‟t you think it‟s a bit old?

Granda : I don‟t know how to hot-wire a new one, daftie! Who do you think I am,

Superman?

Somebody‟s parked this car here to get on the train. There are no houses near,

nobody to see us. Are you ready?

Rory : Ummm, I think so.

(Granda scratched round and found an old piece of wire lying on the road and he used it to open

the car door and, once inside the car, he fumbled under the wheel, pulled at some wires and the

next minute the engine spurted into life)

Rory : I think you missed your vocation granda.

Granda : I was always borrowing cars when I was younger. Come on in, son. I can‟t wait

to be on the road!

Rory : OK, but please, drive carefully. I don‟t want to end my life in an accident. I‟m

still young, Granda.

Granda : Let me show you what youngsters need in life. Some thrill!

Rory : Ah! You‟re on the wrong side of the road, Granda!

Granda! Don‟t overtake here!

Granda! Slow down!

Granda : Rory! You‟re just as bad as your granny. She was the worst back-seat driver

that ever sat in a front-seat!

Act 2 Scene 12- Stopping For A Break

(Granda falls asleep, after reaching the petrol station)

Rory : Thanks mister. I‟ll wake up my uncle and we‟ll be on our way.

Rab : No, son. I don‟t think you‟ll be going anywhere tonight.

Rory : What do you mean?

Rab : Don‟t look so worried son, I want to help.

25

Everybody‟s talking about you two; looking for you. You‟ll not get far, even in

this. And your grandfather‟s tired. He looks done in.

Rory : But why should you help us?

Rab : You‟re not criminals are you? I mean, you‟re not going to jump me and steal

my cash, are you?

Come on, let‟s push this car round the back of the garage and get that Granda of

yours into the warm. I don‟t like the look of him.

Rory : He‟s cold. I knew he was too cold.

Granda wakes up and begins to panic and when he caught sight of the stranger who was bundling

him out of the car, he began to swear.

Granda : Bloody hell, get off me you dirty lil‟ bugger!

Rory : Hey, Granda, watch your language. You‟ll be giving us two a bad name.

Granda : Rory, what‟s going on? Who is he?

Rory : He‟s going to help us Granda. He‟s a nice man.

Act 2 Scene 13- Rab’s House

Rab : Something hot first, I think. Soup? Tea?

I‟ll switch on the TV. Might be something about you two on it.

Rory : Are you all right, granda?

Granda : As long as I‟m with you. (closes eyes and falls asleep)

Rory : OK, Big Man, I need some help here. I can‟t do this on my own. (Hears

television report)

Reporter : There is still no sign of Rory and his grandfather, although sightings abound

from Land‟s End to John o‟Groats. The question is how could an old man and a

boy disappear like this? The answer has to be that people are helping them. The

public are very much on their side.

Mr McIntosh‟s son has been traced to Liverpool. There had been hope that they

would make their way there although the family has been estranged since

26

Rory‟s birth. However, the son has heard nothing from them either.

Rory : I‟m not alone. Neither is my granda. I have a dad. He has a son. And it‟s time

he lived up to his responsibilities.

Rab : You‟re going there aren‟t you?

Rory : No, not interested in him.

Rab : I‟d go there if I was you. Let him take some responsibility for a change.

Rory : How will I find him? I don‟t even know how he looks like.

Rab : You‟ve brought your grandfather this far, Rory. You can take him to Liverpool.

You‟ll find your father. He‟ll probably be in the phone book.

Act 2 Scene 14- Rab’s House

(Rory wakes up and finds Rab on the phone. He is suspicious. Later, Rab is in the kitchen

making breakfast.)

Rory : Who were you phoning?

Rab : Mornin‟ How did you sleep?

Rory : Never mind how I slept, who were you phoning?

Rab : Keep your shirt on. It wasn‟t the cops if that‟s what you‟re thinkin‟. That is

what you thought, isn‟t it? (hands Rory a cup of tea) Sit down, Rory. I‟ve got a

plan. I want to tell you all about it before your grandfather wakes up. I wish you

could stay here, son. But I‟ve got mates that pop in and out here all the time.

Tonight, they‟re coming to play cards. They‟re a good bunch, but they wouldn‟t

be able to keep their mouths shut about you.

Rory : I know, we‟ve got to go. What‟s your plan?

Rab : This morning, I‟m going to drive you down to the Borders.

Rory : You don‟t need to drive us anywhere. We‟ve got a car.

Rab : No, Rory, the cops are looking for that car. It was on the news this morning.

And there was some young thug who says your granda assaulted him.

Don‟t worry too much, Rory. No one believes him. That little rat is the one who

27

looks like a thug, and he‟s claiming your grandfather knocked him out.Aye, that

poor, ill, old man. As if anybody is going to believe that!

So, I‟m going to drive you, and at the Borders we‟re going to meet up with my

girlfriend, Annie.

Rory : I can‟t understand why you‟re helping us. We‟re strangers who came into your

garage for petrol in a stolen car.

Rab : I feel the way so many people that have heard about you feel. Why should you

not be together? There‟s got to be something we can do to make that possible.

And I think now…I think you know what that something might be. You know

where you‟re going don‟t you?

Rory : Yes, I do know.

Rab : We‟re all going to get you there then.

Rory : We?

Rab : That‟s what I was on the phone arranging. A whole line of people who are

going to take you to Liverpool.

Act 2 Scene 15- On the Road to Liverpool

Granda : People are kind, Rory. I thought the whole world was going to the dogs, and

then you meet kindness like this. It‟s a wonderful world, Rory. Where are we

going now, son?

Rory : We‟re going with Rab, granda.

(Rab stops by the side of the road, after a while. A woman was standing there. He gave her a hug

and introduced her to them, then he said goodbye and left.)

Rab : Rory, granda; meet my girlfriend Annie.

Annie : So these are the fugitives, eh? Nice to meet both of you.

Rab : Alright sweetheart, I‟ll leave it to you. All the best! Goodbye.

Granda : Where are we going?

Rory : Liverpool.

28

Granda : What are we going to Liverpool for? It‟s a long way off. We‟d be troubling

Annie. Such a waste of time!

Annie : (whispers to Rory) I take it he doesn‟t know?

Granda : Don‟t know what?

Annie : Don‟t know I can‟t take you all the way to Liverpool.

Granda : So, where are we going now?

Annie : To my cousin in the Lake District. She‟ll drive you on from there. But you can

get a good night‟s sleep at her place. She lives in this remote cottage, with her

daughter.

Act 2 Scene 16-Norma’s House

(A woman comes hurrying to them out of the front door)

Granda : You‟re gorgeous…

Norma : Oh, a charmer, are you? Let‟s get inside. It‟s going to be a real, cold night.

My name‟s Norma. I‟ve made some dinner for you. Do you like steak pie?

Granda : Oh, lovely, sweetheart.

Norma : This is my daughter, Nicola.

Nicola : (To Rory) You‟re on the telly every night. You look better on the telly.

Rory : You can get my autograph later.

Nicola : That‟s a good idea. I can sell it and make a fortune. I think it‟s terrible the way

they‟re after you. I think it‟s great what you‟ve done.

Granda : He‟s a great boy, my Rory.

Annie : Granda, I‟ve got to go now. I‟ll keep in touch with you, you old boy.

Granda : I‟ll sure be waiting darlin‟.

Norma : You look done in. And we‟ve got a busy day tomorrow. I wish you could stay

longer, but my husband will be back and I don‟t think he‟d approve of this.

29

Granda : I don‟t understand why we‟re going to Liverpool.

Norma : Just you sit there Mister McIntosh and I‟ll bring you a cup of tea.

Granda : Make it a mug.

( Norma pulls Rory into the kitchen while Granda watches television)

Norma : Don‟t you think you should tell him Rory? He has a right to know that you‟re

taking him to his son.

Rory : You don‟t know what he‟s like, Norma. He‟ll hardly mention my dad‟s name.

Says he hasn‟t got a son any more.

Norma : So, what are you going to do when you find him?

Rory : I don‟t know. I‟m making this up as I go along.

(Suddenly, they hear Granda shouting and rush to him)

Granda : (reads from telly screen)„The police are sure that the pair will eventually make

their way to Liverpool where Mister McIntosh‟s son, Jeff now lives.‟

So, that‟s why we‟re going to Liverpool! You think I‟m going to him? I‟m not

going to Liverpool. Do you hear me?

Rory : It‟s okay, Granda. I‟ll go anywhere you want. We won‟t go to dad. We could go

east, to Hull maybe, and catch a boat to Holand from there.

Granda : Promise me, Rory. It would hurt too much if he just turned his back on us now.

Act 2 Scene 17- Norma’s House

(Rory can‟t wake granda the next morning. He is in deep sleep, wheezing noisily)

Rory : Do you think he‟s alright?

Norma : I don‟t think you can go anywhere today. My husband won‟t be back till late

tonight. Let your granda rest. I‟ve got to go to town with Nicola. We‟ll see how

he is when I come back.

Nicola : I want to stay with Rory.

Norma : I‟m sorry, Nicola but you have to come.

30

Rory : (to Nicola) Will you phone me if there‟s any problem?

Nicola : If you see this number come up on the caller display, you‟ll know it‟s an

emergency. I‟ve found out something. And if you need to phone me if anything

happens…

Rory : Nothing‟s going to kill my granda.

Act 2 Scene 18- Norma’s House

(Rory keeps looking at the time, granda is fast asleep)

Rory : We have to leave tonight, before Norma‟s husband comes back. It‟s going to be

a long, tiring drive for Granda. What‟s keeping them?

(Suddenly, phone rings)

Rory : (Answers phone) Nicola?

Nicola : (Voice only) Oh, Rory. My mum‟s told on you. She‟s been to the police.

They‟re coming to get you. You‟ve got to get out of there…Now!

(Rory slams down receiver and starts packing up. Granda wakes up)

Granda : Are we going?

Rory : We‟ve got to.

Granda : Not Liverpool!

Rory : Not Liverpool, granda. C‟mon granda, it‟s The Great Escape, once again.

Act 2 Scene 19- Outdoors

(They stop for a rest, by the road. Suddenly, they hear a car coming)

Rory : Run, granda! Across the road through that hedge!

(They reach a safe place and stop to rest again.)

Rory : Are you okay, granda?

Granda : (Wheezing and out of breath) Me? Fine.

31

Rory : Get up, granda. Let‟s walk to the bus shelter.

Granda : (Wheezing and breathing heavily) A bit of a slow down for a minute, that‟s all I

need.

Rory : Are you hungry,granda?

Granda : I‟m starving. But I haven‟t got any teeth, remember?

Rory : (Rory pretends to pull out his teeth) Here, have a loan of these.

Granda : You cheeky devil. You might have brought me something soft.

Rory : Maybe we should go back, Granda. You need to sleep on a mattress, in a bed.

Maybe they will let us stay together now.

Granda : No, Rory.I‟d rather be here in this cold bus shelter with you than anywhere else

in this world. I want us to stay together as long as we can. Is it a deal?

Rory : It‟s a deal, granda.

Granda : You know, if I die tonight, I‟ll be a happy man.

Rory : Don‟t say that, granda.

Granda : Don‟t worry, I‟ve not got any intention of dying son. I want this film to have a

happy ending. I‟ll just shut my eyes for five minutes. Eh? You can be the

lookout. I‟ll take the second watch.

Rory : Come on, Big Man, help me. Tell me where should I go next.

Act 2 Scene 20- Police, Paramedics and Dad Arrive (Outdoors)

(Rory falls asleep, and wakes up in the middle of the night. Granda isn‟t breathing)

Rory : Granda! Granda!

(Rory runs and finally finds a house. He starts yelling)

Rory : Help! Please! Somebody help me! Help! Please!

(Door opens)

32

My Granda, (sobbing) Please help my Granda. I think he‟s dead.

Woman : William, it‟s the boy we‟ve been hearing about in the news. You‟re Rory,

aren‟t you?

Man : Come on, where‟s this Granda of yours? Alice, phone the police. As soon as I

know where he is I‟ll get in touch on the mobile.

(Granda has fallen from the bench and is lying on the floor, unconscious)

Man : You go and sit in the car, Rory. I‟ll get an ambulance here.

Rory : Is he dead?

Man : You go and sit in the car.

(After that everything was a blur. The police cars arrived. So, did the ambulance. Someone put a

blanket around Rory‟s shoulders, someone pushed a mug of hot tea into his hands and guided

him into one of the police cars. Someone asked him questions he didn‟t listen to. When granda‟s

body was stretched into the ambulance Rory looked at the policewoman in the front seat and

asked her.)

Rory : Can I follow my granda?

Policewoman : We‟ll follow in a minute, I promise. But first, there‟s someone who wants to

talk to you.

Rory : I want to go with my granda. They‟re not going to separate us now!

Jeff : Don‟t worry. You‟re going with him. We both are.

Rory : You as well? You think he‟s going to make a break for it! (voice cracks) I

don‟t think he‟s fit for that anymore.

Jeff : But I…

Rory : What are you trying to say? Just tell me! (Shouts)

Jeff : Rory, I‟m your dad.

I was young and stupid, Rory. Too scared to come back because my dad said

he hated me. Didn‟t want to see me again. But as soon as I saw the two of

you on the news, I got in touch with the police. Honest, just give me a chance

to prove I can be a good dad again, a good son.

33

Act 2 Scene 21- Happy Ending

Rory : I met his family, my dad‟s family. Mine too, I suppose. And they insisted I

come home with them.

His wife, Karen, is small, pretty and quiet. It must have been something of a

shock for her to discover her husband had a son, and a father he‟s never

mentioned before. But she seems to have come to terms with it quite well.

She asked me to come and stay with them while my Granda was in hospital.

And as soon as I knew he was going to survive, that‟s what I did.

I‟ve got two little sisters as well. My Granda fell in love with them right

away.

The doctors say that my granda‟s memory will only get worse and the

damage done to his lungs is irreparable.

But, we‟re together. We‟ll always be together. And I‟ve found a family. So, is

this a happy ending? I don‟t know. But it‟s good enough for me.