Warick & Alison Marsh

FEATURE ARTICLE

FATHERHOODPAGE 4

SMARTLOVING

AMPLIFYING HIS FATHERHOODPAGE 16

SEASONAL NOTES

FATHER’S DAY FUNPAGE 22

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Follow2 | September 2014

This MonthSeptember 2014

Mo 1 St Fiarce

We 3 St Gregory the Great

Su 7 Ordinary Time 23 Come Back Brother Father’s Day

Mo 8 The Birth of Mary

Tu 9 St Peter Claver

Fr 13 St John Chrysostom

Su 14 Exaltation of the Holy Cross By Your Cross

Mo 15 Our Lady of Sorrows

Tu 16 Sts Cornelius & Cyprian

We 17 St Robert Bellarmine

Fr 19 St Januarius

Sa 20 St Andrew Kim Taegon & Companions

Su 21 Ordinary Time 25 The First Shall be Last St Matthew the Apostle

Tu 23 St Pius of Pietrelcina (Padre Pio)

We 26 Sts Cosmas & Damien

Sa 27 St Vincent de Paul

Su 28 Ordinary Time 26 The Father’s Will St Wenceslaus St Lawrence Ruiz & Companions

Mo 29 Feast of Archangels Michael, Gabriel & Raphael

Tu 30 St Jerome

FROM THE EDITOR...Hello and thank you for joining us once again! This September is our annual focus on Fathers as we celebrate (in Australia anyway) Father’s Day on the 7th of September.

This month we are delighted to feature Warwick and Alison Marsh of the Fatherhood Foundation. They have been working with fathers and families for many years and have a wealth of wisdom to share.

We’re still continuing our experiment with Issuu and we’d love to know what you think of its functionality and feel.

We also have a survey on next month’s topic! Don’t forget to follow the link and fill it out. We’ll publish the results in next month’s eMagazine.

Kiara PirolaEditor

Click here to do our Housework Survey

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Like many men that have gone before me, I embarked on the journey of fatherhood woefully underprepared.

Fatherhood is the greatest adventure you will ever embark on in your life as a man. Nothing will test you, stretch you and push you like your children will.

As a father of five myself and as an advocate for Fatherhood, there are far too many lessons I have had to learn and continue to learn. Some were hard lessons, others came from the other men and fathers with whom I have been privileged to walk with on their journey. These are just a few of the lessons that I’d like to share with you.

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A good friend of mine shared this simple and practical insight: Life is a bank balance. If you keep on withdrawing and don’t put anything back in the bank of love, you will go broke. The same goes for your family and your relationship with your wife. If you are always withdrawing love and taking from your family without giving back you will eventually run your account down.

What is taking?

Well, eating a meal your wife has cooked. Wearing a shirt your wife has washed. Living in a house your wife has cleaned. Not listening properly at the dinner table to your children’s stories when they desperately want to tell you, ‘what happened today at school’. Receiving a cuddle when you didn’t ask for it. Listening to “I love you Daddy” when you didn’t say anything in the first place. Or just being too busy to spend time with your children.

TO GIVE AS WELL AS TAKE

Lesson #1

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As males, we are often so self-absorbed we don’t know what is happening in our families

until it is too late. We think our families will love us just because we earn money for

them. Nothing could be further from the truth. ‘Money can’t buy me love’. The Beatles

certainly knew it and experienced it, some of them quite tragically. Eventually the family bank balance of love will run out, often with

devastating consequences.

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DYING TO MYSELFChildren bring great joy to a man and a woman. Who can forget the joy of holding your newborn baby in hospital for the first time? Fast forward four weeks, when you wife is still having problems breast feeding, the baby won’t sleep and you haven’t had sex for what seems like years, your relationship seems to be in free fall and your baby is the source of all the problems. In fact, you even start to get jealous of your ‘new baby’ because you suddenly seem to have lost the old one.

I remember after I had my first three of five children, I was surfing most weekends, playing guitar in the church band and playing in the local church soccer competition. I had to make a decision about who, and what, should come first. Sadly, I had to lay my guitar down for a while and the spiders got inside my soccer boots. I still got the occasional surf, but I am glad I took the road less travelled, and my children are too.

Lesson #2

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IT’S THE SMALL MOMENTS THAT

MATTER

Lesson #3

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James Dobson says, “When these parenting years have passed, something precious will have flickered and gone out of my life. Thus, I am resolved to enjoy every day that remains in this fathering era.”

The truth of this statement was brought home to me as our family celebrated a Monday Night Family Dinner. My five children are growing up and beginning to fly the coop. It is getting a lot harder to get together regularly, and we all know it. It is almost ten years since we started our Monday Night Family Dinners. It is one of the best things we have ever done. It is a time when we can all connect, play family board games according to the ages of the children or just generally hang out together. Our family talks, laughs, prays and has a hilarious time together.

The key to such a long-running tradition was the commitment Alison and I made to it. Often I would break engagements early so that I could fly

home for family dinner to hang out with my children. We also committed to the Family Commandment: ‘Thou

Shalt have Fun Together,’ because everyone is more pleasant when fun

is prioritised.

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LEARNING AT THE FATHER’S KNEERecently I watched this YouTube video. If watching this doesn’t touch your heart nothing will. I ignored the tear jerker alert posted below the video, much to my discomfort. By the end of the video I was bawling like a baby. With six million views and climbing it seems I am not alone.

There is something extraordinarily inspirational about a truck driving dad who obviously can’t dance, endeavouring to dance with his beautiful 12 year old disabled daughter who is in a wheelchair. It gives us imperfect fathers some hope.

Lesson #4

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I asked the question of myself: What was it about this video that made me cry so profusely? McKenzie Carey is beautiful and her obvious smile in the middle of the dance is touching, but it was not this that made me cry.

What moved me was the attempt by an obviously imperfect father to share

his love for his daughter with the world. You see there is only one loving perfect

Father, as Jesus said in Matthew. For the rest of us it is a work in progress!

Watching this video reminded me of my broken promises to my children, the missed performances, the clumsy dates and the lost opportunities when my work came first and my children last. Watching Mike Carey love his daughter in the dance gave me a strange hope that I could aspire to that journey despite my own imperfections as a father.

“Love covers a multitude of sins.”

1 Peter 4:8

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We should not think it strange that we are imperfect fathers. Even Jesus would not allow himself to be called ‘good’. Perhaps this should give us hope in our journey to fatherhood perfection. I can always remember asking a man with a happy marriage and nine children what the secret was to his happy marriage. His answer was short and to the point, “I have a forgiving wife”.

Perhaps it is the same for us as fathers. The

true secret for success as a father is having forgiving children. All

the more reason for us as fathers to practise

our forgiveness on those around us.

Love is still the most powerful force in the universe. I think that is why the ‘Dancing

Dad’ video is so inspirational. We must

become the change we seek.

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ABOUT THE AUTHORS:Warwick & Alison Marsh established the Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation, a harm prevention charity in 2002 to encourage Dads to be the best they can be for the sake of their children. The Dads4Kids Good to Great Fathering Course is now being rolled out on a national basis. Warwick is well known in Australia for his advocacy for marriage, family, fatherhood and faith.

CHECK OUT

Dads4kids.org

Click Here

FOR MORE ON FATHERHOOD

CathFamily.org

Click Here

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Alison & Warick Marsh

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A wife has a very powerful position in a family. As Maria says in ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’, “The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants”.

Stereotypically the wife is the Nurturer – the caring sensitive parent, wanting the best for her husband and children and sacrificing on a daily basis to make it all happen.

But of course, no two couples are the same. What if in your family, the wife – the female one – has the drive in most areas: financially, career mindedness, academically, spiritually, socially? How do you amplify your husband’s impact in the family when you seem to be the one who has to make all the decisions? How do you encourage his influence without demeaning him and diminishing his importance in the family?

All couples, and therefore all families, are different. A family is made up of two very different individuals. Not only are they poles apart sexually (i.e. one is male, the other is female - with huge differences physiologically and hormonally) but each has different gifts and talents as well as different upbringing, issues and problems.

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Combined, a couple produce the possibility of a myriad of different personalities in their offspring, making every family on the earth a totally unique unit.

There are key principles that wives can discover, think about and apply to their families to promote the influence of Dad in the life of their family.

Tips for Wives

1. Recognise that every family is unique. Your family is different to any other because you and your husband are two totally unique people married to each other.

2. Recognise that God therefore has a unique blueprint or plan for your family which is unlike any other plan He has for any other family.

3. Recognise and note what you appreciate about your husband. What is he good at? What does he excel at? What do YOU love about him? Why DID you marry him?

4. Recognise and promote these assets. Talk up his good points to him, to your children, to your parents, even to your friends.

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It’s time to stop comparing your husband to everyone else’s. You will find that as you amplify his impact in your home, you will automatically promote the influence of Dads in other families too. Just try it, you might be surprised at the outcomes.

This is what the Bible means when it says, “This is a profound mystery – however, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband”. There are two keys: ‘Love’ and ‘Respect’.

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SEASONAL NOTES

Sunday 7th of September

Father’s Day is here and it’s time to celebrate! Have a look at some of the simple ideas for gifts, food for the hungry hoards and for the soul too!

FOOD & FEASTINGMini Football & Hole-in-One Savoury BitesIn this recipe, the humble sausage roll has been transformed into themed food to give Dad a tasty treat!

CRAFT

Family Photo Album Business CardThis simple craft activity transforms two ordinary business cards transformed into a mini photo album for Dad’s wallet. Includes downloadable instructions.

PRAYA Prayer for FathersA very simple and eloquent prayer written by our newly canonised Pope John XXIII.

All this and more can be found at www.CathFamily.org

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It is that time of year again! A nice long period between hectic periods of fasting and feasting that is aptly called Ordinary Time. That being said, there is plenty to do to foster a simple, steady prayer routine to bridge the seasons. Here are some featured activities, recipes and prayers.

CRAFTMary’s GardenWith Spring underway and the Feast of Mary’s Birth on the 8th of September, why not dedicate a little corner of your garden or balcony to Mary?

FAMILY RITUALSTable TalkNo matter what age your children, sharing something of their day is important for keeping connected with each other. For variety, establish a ‘question box’ with more exotic conversation starters.

PRAY

Unity PrayerSometimes, the best thing we can do is pray about something! Make this simple prayer a regular part of your family prayer, and we can promise you, it will work wonders to increase the unity and peace in your family.

Visit www.CathFamily.org for ideas and inspiration

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