Catholics and Marriage

What do Catholics think – makes a true Marriage

Catholic Marriage

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Love – trust – share

For Union• For better, for worse… to love and

to cherish.

Union includes sex

• Sex – the whole physical relationship – not just the sexual act – should be part of a couple’s union with one another.

• So sex is not principally to get pleasure but to give love to your partner.

• Hopefully it will be pleasurable in the process

Catholic Marriage

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Having children

For FamilyThis is not just the children you

produce, but an acceptance that you are part of each

other’s family

The Gift of Children

• You promise:-• “To accept children lovingly from God” – NOT

to expect them as a right – NOT to treat them as a new play thing or to make you look good!

• “To bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church.” - that means teaching them to pray – to know good from bad – to go to Mass.

Catholic Marriage

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Till death do us part

For EverThis may be a very long time!

Don’t expect to change your partner but do expect your partner to change.

You are asked : “Are you ready to love and honour each other as man and wife for the rest of your

lives?”

Catholic Marriage

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God’s Presence

• We believe that God is present wherever there is true love, not just in those who are Christians.

• But God is present is an extra special way in those who are Christians and so get married in church.

• We call this extra special way – the Sacrament of Marriage

• So what is a Sacrament?

What is a Sacrament?

• In the Mass – in Holy Communion – the bread and wine are the outward sign of an inward and special presence of God – this is a Sacrament.

• In Baptism it is water… and so on.• So what is the outward sign of God’s special

presence in the Sacrament of Marriage – the priest? NO! – the rings – NO!

The Couple are the Sacrament

• The couple as they give themselves to each other ARE the outward sign. They are the Sacrament.

• They are the Celebrants. The priest is just the witness.

• And so they continue to be – a way God’s love is focussed through their partnership, and radiates out from it, for one another, for the children and for everyone else they meet.

One more thing!

• Marriage is for Union• Marriage is for Family• Marriage is for Ever• Christian marriage is a Sacrament through

which God is present.• But there is one more thing that Catholics

believe is necessary for a Marriage• What is it?

Your Free Choice

• Both the man and the woman choose freely to do this thing.

• If they don’t, if either is being forced by some kind of pressure, then it is NOT a true marriage.

• Both say “I will.” and both must mean it.• You are asked, “Are you ready freely and

without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?”

So to sum up

• Marriage is for Union• Marriage is for Family• Marriage is for Ever• Marriage is a Free Choice• Christian marriage is a Sacrament through

which God is present.• If your Marriage does not have these things in

it, then it is not a Catholic Marriage

Hidden baggage

WHAT SORT OF FAMILY DO YOU COME FROM?

Answer these questions on your own.

In the family you grew up in, who... Other Mum Dad Other

... did the shopping?

... drove the car?

... did the gardening?

... organised holidays/outings?

... did the ironing?

... looked after money matters?

... did painting/decorating?

... went out to work?

... stayed at home with young children?

... played with the children?

... was the main income earner?

... disciplined the children?

How does/did your family characteristically...

... show affection to each other?

... manage conflict?

... greet achievements (eg passing an exam or getting a job)?

... express anger?

... celebrate Christmas or a family event (wedding or funeral)?

... deal with sex and nudity?

In the family you grew up in ...

... how many brothers and sisters were there?

... where do you come in the order?

... how long have your parents been together?

... are your parents still together?

... how well off/poor was your family in your childhood?

... what was your family’s religion (if any)?

... what social class would you say your family belongs to?