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Fathering is For Life 1675 Garden of the Gods Colorado Springs, CO 80907 Phone: 719-634-7797 Email: DHSCenteronFathering@elpasoco.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fatheringisforlife/

Center on Fathering Monthly Newsletter--- August 2020

Understanding Generational Differences and Parenting Styles It’s been said that people resemble their times more than they resemble their parents. Researchers who deal with public attitudes regarding key issues believe that each generation has distinct attitudes, behaviors, expectations, habits and motivational buttons. They have discovered that an individual’s age is one of the most common predictors of differences in attitudes and behaviors. Age indicates two important traits about a person: whether they are a young adult, middle-aged parent or retiree and their belonging to a group of individuals who were born at a similar time. Age groups give researchers a means to study changes in views over time. It can help them understand how different experiences interact with the aging process to shape our view of the world. While younger and older adults may differ in their views at a given moment, age groups allow researchers to go further and examine how today’s older adults felt about a given issue when they were young, as well as to

describe how the course of views might differ across age groups.

Generations are one way to group persons who were born at a similar time. A generation typically refers to groups of people born over a 15-20-year span, such as the millennial generation, currently the youngest adult generation. A common source of confusion when labeling generations is their age. Generational cohorts are defined (loosely) by birth year, not current age. The reason is simple, generations get older in groups.

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Here’s what the Pew Research center has to say about the timeline of American generations since 1900, and how each generation's major events shaped kids and parents.

The Greatest Generation or GI Generation: Born 1901 – 1924

Who is Gen GI? This generation survived the Great Depression and then went off to fight in WWII. Notably, they popularized jazz and swing music but don’t be fooled by the wild provocations of the music of the times. Who are GI parents? For GI Generation parents who lived through the Great Depression, raising a family put a premium on traits like hard work and grit.

The Silent Generation: Born 1928 – 1945

Who are the Silent? They famously got their name for being so conformist that they were silent through the McCarthy era when the fear of Communism swept the country. Who are the Silent parents? The parenting style of the day was similar to that of their parents; kids were expected to earn their way through life using a strong work ethic.

Baby Boom Generation: Born 1946 – 1964

Who are Boomers? Gen Z may think of Baby Boomers as their out of touch grandparents (“Ok, Boomer”,) but they had a wild youth we often don’t talk about. Boomers are so named after their parents came home from WWII and the American population exploded. Baby Boomers defied their parents, protested the Vietnam War, and created the "Summer of Love". Who are Boomer parents? Boomer parents notably redefined parenting by being the first generation to look at their kids’ perspective of growing up, and they started the concept of having family meetings.

Generation X: Born 1965 – 1980

Who are Gen Xers? As often dismissed as the slacker generation, Generation X lived through the AIDS epidemic, MTV culture, and a shifting cultural landscape that would give rise to LGBTQ+ rights. Who are Gen X parents? Generation X parents were famously the first use helicopter parenting styles. Unlike their Boomer parents who let their kids stay outside until the streetlights came on, Generation X parents have a tendency to be far more involved with their children’s social and educational development.

Millennial Generation: Born 1981 – 1996

Who are Millennials? Millennials lived through 9/11 and a worldwide fight against terrorism that continues to this day. They are also the first generation to know a childhood with the Internet, which currently plays a significant role in their personal lives. While Boomers may accuse Millennials of being self-centered and entitled due to their excessive use of technology, this generation has proven to actually be incredibly community oriented and environmentally conscious, which are traits that are being picked up by their children in the next generation.

Generation Z or iGen: Born 1997 – present

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Who is Gen Z? While still youngsters and not old enough to have made their mark as a generation, Generation Z kids are the first to be born into a world where they know nothing else besides being constantly connected to one another, albeit through phones, screens, and tablets.

Fatherhood in America is changing. Today, fathers who live with their children are taking a more active role in caring for them and helping out around the house, and the ranks of single fathers have grown significantly in recent decades. At the same time, more and more children are growing up without a father in the home.

The changing role of fathers has introduced new challenges as dads juggle the competing demands of family and work. Here are some key findings about fathers from Pew Research Center.

More dads are staying home to care for their kids. The share of fathers who are stay-at-home dads moved up from 4% in 1989 to 7% in 2016. As a result, dads made up 17% of all stay-at-home parents in 2016, up from 10% in 1989. Among Millennials (those ages 20 to 35 in 2016), 6% of dads were at home with their kids. By comparison, 3% of Gen X dads were at home with their kids when they were the same age.

Dads see parenting as central to their identity. Dads are just as likely as moms to say that parenting is extremely important to their identity. Some 57% of fathers said this in a 2015 survey by

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the Center, compared with 58% of mothers. Like moms, many dads also seem to appreciate the benefits of parenthood: 54% reported that parenting is rewarding all of the time, as did 52% of moms. Meanwhile, 46% of fathers and 41% of mothers said they find parenting enjoyable all of the time.

Work-family balance is a challenge for many working fathers. Just like mothers, many of today’s fathers find it challenging to balance work and family life. About half of working dads (52%) said in 2015 that it is very or somewhat difficult to do so, a slightly smaller share than the 60% of working mothers who said the same. And about three-in-ten working dads (29%) said they “always feel rushed,” as did 37% of working mothers.

Most Americans think men face a lot of pressure to provide financially for their family. About three-fourths of adults (76%) said in a 2017 survey that men face a lot of pressure to support their family financially, while 49% said men face a lot of pressure to be an involved parent. In contrast, 77% said women face a lot of pressure to be an involved parent, and 40% said women face a lot of pressure to support their family financially.

It’s become less common for dads to be their family’s sole breadwinner. As of 2016, about a quarter of couples (27%) who live with children younger than 18 were in families where only the father works. This marked a dramatic change from 1970, when almost half of these couples (47%) were in families where only the dad worked. The share of couples living in dual-earner families has risen significantly and now comprises the majority of two-parent families with children.

Dads are much more involved in childcare than they were 50 years ago. In 2016, fathers reported spending an average of eight hours a week on childcare – about triple the time they provided in 1965. And fathers put in about 10 hours a week on household chores in 2016, up from four hours in 1965. By comparison, mothers spent an average of about 14 hours a week on childcare and 18 hours a week on housework in 2016.

When it comes to caregiving, moms and dads are still viewed differently. About half of Americans (53%) in 2016 said that, breast-feeding aside, mothers do a better job than fathers caring for a new baby. A somewhat smaller share (45%) said mothers and fathers do about equally well, and 1% of Americans said fathers do a better job than mothers. While most (71%) said it’s equally important for new babies to bond with their mother and their father, about a quarter (27%) said it’s more important for new babies to bond with their moms, and 2% said it’s more important for new babies to bond with their fathers.

While they’re spending more time with their children, many dads feel they’re not doing enough. Most dads (63%) said in a 2017 survey that they spend too little time with their kids, compared with 35% of mothers who said the same. Among both dads and moms who said they spend too little time with their kids, work obligations were cited most often as the main reason. Dads are also less positive about their own parenting abilities than are moms. Just 39% of fathers said in 2015 that they were doing a “very good job” raising their children, compared with 51% of mothers.

So, what does the next generation of fathers look like? Research has shown us that at no other time in history have dads been as passionate and committed to raising their young children, and they want to do even more. From greater involvement in household duties to finding a better work-life balance, evidence shows that today’s dads see fatherhood as a life changing experience, and that they want to be more deeply engaged with their children.

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“Dog Appreciation Day”-Saturday, August 1, 9:00-11:00 a.m. Fountain Creek Regional Dog Park, 2010 Duckwood Rd, Fountain, CO. The Nature Center Staff will come down to Fountain Creek Regional Dog Park to celebrate your canine companions! Drop by for prizes, treats, fun, and info on local wildlife. Free!

Uncle Wilbur Fountain- Is now open daily, 12 p.m. - 7 p.m. Acacia Park, Colorado Springs. Sessions start: 12 p.m., 1:30 p.m., 3 p.m., 4:30 p.m. 6:00 p.m. Please also note that if lightning is detected, the sprayground will close. If temperature is 65 or lower, the sprayground will be closed.

Cheyenne Mountain Zoo Virtual Experiences-Although they’re temporarily closed, the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo is permanently committed to continuing to provide inspiring, enlightening, heartwarming and educational stories, keeper talks, animal demonstrations, moments of #CMZooZen, at-home activities, and more. Event durations (if noted) are approximate. Please check with the presenting organization or venue to confirm start times and duration. https://www.facebook.com/watch/CMZoo/239859190385682/

Pikes Peak Library District Virtual Kids Activities-Join Pikes Peak Library District for virtual Storytime, crafts, and other fun activities for you kids to enjoy! Check out Pikes Peak Library District’s page every weekday at 10:30 a.m. for a fun virtual Storytime or activity! Event durations (if noted) are approximate. Please check with the presenting organization or venue to confirm start times and duration. https://www.facebook.com/pg/ppldkids/videos/

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The Center on Fathering is Advertising on Local Billboards and Bus Benches

The Center is currently advertising on 3 billboards and will be on 11 bus benches very soon. The locations for the billboards are: 4370 S. Academy, 107 N Union Blvd and 2403 S. Hancock.

Work is Started on the New Center on Fathering Classroom and Workspace We’re excited to announce that contractors have started work on the construction of a new Center on Fathering classroom located at the Citizen’s Service Center, 1675 Garden of the Gods along with a new workspace for the Center’s staff. The completion date is unknown as of yet, but we will keep you informed.

Fathering Classes Offered Through the Pikes Peak Community College The Center on Fathering will be offering its 15-week Fathering Class for free through the Pikes Peak Community College (PPCC). Classes will initially be conducted via the web with the anticipation to be in-person during the late fall. Class materials will be either be emailed or emailed to participants. Classes will start during the week of August 24. Please contact the PPCC Counseling Center or the Center on Fathering if you are interested in enrolling.

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The Legacy Garden is Starting to Produce Veggies A combination of rain, hot weather and hard work from the dads is paying off. We have peppers, dill, watermelon, pumpkins, tomatoes, zucchini, radishes, onions, cilantro, bush beans and lettuce. We are still looking for dads who love to garden or want to get started in gardening with their kids. If interested, call Gary at 719-645-5825.

The Center on Fathering Springs in Bloom Sponsored Median Strip is Looking Awesome!

Last month we announced that the Center on Fathering had volunteered to sponsor a median strip on the corner of East Platte and Institute for Springs in Bloom. All the hard work that the staff and Center volunteers had put into it has really paid off.

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Child Custody and Visitation Rights for Unmarried Fathers Created by FindLaw's team of legal writers and editors | Last updated September 11, 2018

Biological parents have a right to seek child visitation or child custody. This is true regardless of whether the child's parents were married when the child was born. Like other child custody decisions, courts use the best interest of the child to decide disputed child visitation or custody cases involving unmarried fathers. Unless evidence indicates otherwise, courts making child visitation decisions presume that involvement of both parents benefits the child.

The following is a summary of child custody and visitation rights for unmarried fathers, with information on establishing paternity and drafting parenting agreements.

First Step: Establishing Paternity

Fathers who were not married when their child was born must legally establish paternity in order to gain access to father's rights. Often, this simply means both parents signing and filing an acknowledgment of paternity with the appropriate state agency or court, either at the time of the child's birth or afterward. In disputed paternity cases, a legal process including DNA testing will conclude with a court order stating whether the man in question is the child's biological father.

Once paternity is established, a father may pursue child visitation or other custody rights. Many states offer simultaneous filing for recognition of paternity and for visitation or custody rights.

Child Visitation and Child Custody Agreements

Either before or after a legal process has begun, many parents negotiate a parenting agreement (also called a parenting plan). A parenting agreement can include a wide variety of details including which parent will have primary custody, specifics on the other parents visitation periods, particulars on which parent will make decisions regarding the child's education, health care or religion, as well as procedures for the handling of potential changes to the arrangement.

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The visitation rights of unmarried fathers often depend on their relationship with the child, any history of child abuse, drug and alcohol use, and other such factors.

Visitation and Custody Rights of Unmarried Fathers: Court Orders

If the parties are unable to agree on a parenting agreement, either parent may petition the court for child visitation or custody help. Parents who can agree to a parenting plan may file it with a court, asking the judge to approve and incorporate it into a court order on visitation and/or custody. Having the agreement become part of a court order allows either parent a direct way to enforce his or her parental rights.

If the parents cannot agree on visitation or custody arrangements, either one may ask the court to grant his or her request through a contested hearing. Courts deciding visitation and other custody issues focus on the best interest of the child.

Generally, courts presume that children benefit from having both parents involved in their upbringing. This presumption can be overcome if one parent can show that visitation or custody by the other parent would likely cause harm to the child. For example, evidence of domestic violence or drug problems could be used to argue against a parent having custody or visitation with a child.

While courts recognize visitation rights for unmarried fathers, it's rare for fathers to win sole custody of a child already being raised by the mother. To do so, an unmarried father would likely need to show that the mother is unfit to raise the child and/or that he has been the child's primary caregiver. Child visitation or shared custody rights, however, allow many unmarried fathers to play a consistent role in their children's' lives.

Should arrangements need to change, the court can modify the child visitation or custody order, either after both parents agree to the change, or after one parent petitions the court to make the change. Some states allow parents to agree on modification to visitation arrangements without a court’s approval, however, a modified updated court orders allow easier enforcement of agreed arrangements and is the best way to ensure visitation rights for unmarried fathers.

How to Proceed

To learn more about unmarried fathers' custody rights and access to visitation, go to https://www.courts.state.co.us/Self_Help/family/.