Chapter 3 Business Correspondence

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2011 级 英语（商务方向）本科 1-3 班

3.1 Difference between letters and spoken communication

Providing a permanent record

Grammar used is also quite different

Note : repetition change of topic direction not acceptable leaving words out in letters

3.2 How to write a good letter?

• The message the writer wants to send be the one received by the reader.

consider the topic consider the reader consider the result planning draft revise final check

3.3 Email

• Advantages of email: fast, easy to send copies, cheaper

disadvantages of email: some people expect an instant reaction Don’t use: lower case( 小写键盘 ), short forms( 简易格

式 ) r u ok=are you ok?

Key issues of email

• Subject line• CC• Caps lock ： Х caps lock=shouting at sb.• Emoticons: advantage disadvantage• Abbreviations and acronyms 首字母缩略词

Emoticons

Asp/ asap As soon as possible

btw By the way

et al Latin, meaning “and others”

etc Latin, et cetera, meaning “and so on”

fyi For your information

imho In my humble (honest) opinion

lol Laugh out loud

NB Latin, nota bene ， meaning “note well”

PS Post script (something added on the end of a message or letter)

re regarding

rofl Roll on the floor laughing

3.4 Good News and Bad News letters

• Good news :Direct approach (positive , brief) order some goods confirm a contract wish to say thanks to someone

• Neutral news : Direct approach technical specification; confirm shipping arrangement • Bad news : Indirect approach (negative) refuse credit facilities 信贷措施 increase the price of goods or services complain about something

Good news letters

A direct approach means that we begin stating exactly what the letter is about:

I am writing to enquire about the… We are writing with reference to… Thank you for you order dated…

The letter may ends with a goodwill message to clarify more information:

Looking forward to hearing from you. I hope this information will help you. It is great to be working together once again. We look forward to receiving confirmation.

Bad news letters The approach is less direct to help lessen the impact.

FOUR steps to write a bad news letter” 1. First of all, we start with something positive or at least

neutral. This is sometimes called the “ buffer statement”.

2. Give an explanation and background information.

3. Give a bad news you wish to convey.

4. End with a positive goodwill message.

3.5 Letter of complaint• Para I ---- State facts of situation

• Para II ---- State your suggested solution.•

• Para III ---- State that you look forward to hearing from them soon and that you appreciate their help.

including dates, names, reference numbers, but keep this very concise and brief.

State exactly what you want it to be done about the problem and how long you are willing to wait to get it resolved. Be reasonable.

Tell them how long you would like to wait and avoid writing an angry, sarcastic, or threatening letter.

Sample for the first paragraph

• Complaint about goods you have bought• On [date], I bought a [name of goods, model

number etc.] at [location]. I am disappointed because your [name of goods] has [not performed as it should, was faulty etc] because [state the problem as you understand it, giving as many details as possible]. Therefore this product is not [of satisfactory quality, fit for the purpose described] as laid down by the law.

• Complaint about a service provided to you• On [date], I [rented, was provided with etc.] a

[service etc.] at [location]. I am disappointed because [the service you provided etc.] was [unsatisfactory, unfinished, defective etc.] because [state the problem as you understand it, giving as many details as possible]. This is in breach of our contract as laid down by the law.

Faulty product

• I'm afraid that the enclosed cell phone doesn't work. It is the third one I've had to return this month (see attached correspondence).

• I bought it from Fortress store at Newtown Plaza, Sha Tin, Hongkong on 9th, October.

• I was careful to follow the instructions for use, honestly.

• Other than the three I've had to return recently, I've always found your products to be excellent.

Outstanding service problem• I really need your help with this.• Your engineer Mr. Robert called for the third time in

the past ten days to repair our computer at the above address.

• He was unable to carry out the repair once more because the keyboard was again not compatible. (I attach copies of the service visit reports.)

• Your engineers have been excellent as always, but without the correct parts they can't do the job required.

Sample for the second paragraph

• To resolve the problem I would appreciate your [state the action you require e.g. refund, service performed again etc].

• To resolve the problem, I would appreciate it if you could (state the specific action you want—money back, charge card credit, repair, exchange, etc.). Enclosed are copies of my records (include copies of receipts, warranties, canceled checks, contracts, model and serial numbers, and any other documents).

• I'd be grateful if you could send a replacement and refund my postage (200 dollars).

• Can I ask that you look into this to ensure that the next service visit resolves the matter.

Please telephone me to let me know how you'd like to deal with this.

When the matter is resolved I'd be grateful for a suitable refund of some of my service contract costs.

Sample for the last paragraph

• I look forward to hearing from you and to a resolution of this problem. I will wait for [set a time limit] before seeking help from [consumer group, a consumer protection agency or the Better Business Bureau etc]. Please contact me at the above address or by phone [give numbers].

Some tips if you are making a real complain.

• Keep a copy of the complaint letter for your records.

• Type your letter if possible. If it is handwritten, make sure it is neat and easy to read.

• If this letter does not bring action, assume 采取 a stronger but still credible 可靠 tone in the next one.

• Include all documents regarding your problem. Be sure to send COPIES, not originals.

Letter of apologies

1. A thank you to the sender2. A show of understanding and an

explanation3. An apology if the receiver is at fault4. An outline of action taken /to be

taken

Letters of Persuasion

There are many reasons for trying to persuade people in writing.

• Perhaps you have a good idea you would like someone to think about.

• Perhaps you need to get someone to agree change a deadline.

• Perhaps you would like someone to come to a meeting.

What is the purpose of persuasion

• The purpose is to allow readers to change their current views, but agree with you

There are three main ways to persuad people.• The first way is we can use our credibility,

which means that we use our reputation,• expertise and past achievement in order to

make someone come round to our way of thinking.

• A second way is to appeal to the emotions, such as fear,anger and pride.

• The third way is to use logical arguments based on facts.

• Name of the Sender• Address of the Sender

• To,• Mr Smith,• ABC Corp,

• Respected Mr. Smith,

• Subject: An Offer too Good to Refuse!!!

• Before you roll your eyes thinking, 'Oh God! Not another one!', and chuck this into a bin, just read a few of the lines below.

• Imagine the mellow sun and the grainy sand. Imagine the soft rolling of the waves of the sea. Those beautiful sunsets in the evening. Watching all of this in the lap of luxury, sipping your choicest drink.

• Imagine a week's getaway from it all. The traffic noise to wake you up, that crazy drive to work the yelling and screaming at work and at home. Imagine a place where you can sleep when you want, wake up when you want, do what you want, and live the way YOU want.

• Sounds great doesn't it?

• Welcome to Really Amazing resorts. At RA resorts, we promise to deliver the best service, the best food, the BEST of everything for just for you.

• Mr. Smith, our recent patron said, "I came here harrowed and troubled. But I go back a different man. The place and its natural beauty really changed me. I sure will be making the short trip from New Jersey to here next time my wife says I'm becoming too grumpy!“

• And on account of our first anniversary, we're giving you a 65% discount on rooms and 40% discount from normal price on food and beverages! So hurry. Call 1-800-Really Amazing to know more.

• Thanking You,• Myname Lettersender.

A useful format to follow is the AIDA method used by marketing people all over the world

A-Attention

I-Interest D-DesireA-Action

• 3.7 Novice Writing and Comments

• Dear Mr. Thompson

I am writing to tell you about a very exciting project. My company, Hansu Ltd, is currently planning to build a new swimming pool complex in the city of Joti. The project has already received permission from all the necessary

• authorities, and we are now at the stage of inviting tenders for various parts of the project.

• We hope having shops and night clubs and bars as well as swimming pools and saunas.

• One of the areas which we need to work on is that of finance. We would like to offer you the chance to help finance the project. We have heard that you may be interested in such a role. Of course the profits will be considerable, although we cannot say at this stage.

• I suggest we meet up and have a meeting. Could you please come to us next week with some details of your company and your ability to help us? Thank you.

•

• Brian

comments

• The purpose of the letter is to persuade Mr. Thompson to invest in the new project, but the letter fails to arouse the reader’s in taking out money and to show the benefits he may receive. Mr. Thompson wouldn’t answer the letter when reads the following sentences:

• We would like to offer you the chance to help finance the project.

• Of course the profits will be considerable, although we cannot say at this stage.

• Could you please come to us next week with some details of your company and your ability to help us?

• Dear Mr. Thompson

• I am writing to tell you about a very exciting project. My company, Hansu Ltd, is currently planning to build a new swimming pool complex in the city of Joti. The project has already received permission from all the necessary authorities, and we are now at the stage of inviting tenders for various parts of the project.

• There are several swimming pools in the city, but they are only the places for swimming. The new complex will offer more entertainments for people who come to swim. Therefore, the financial returns are promising. At this stage, we are seeking investment to finance the project.

We have heard that you are interested in this project. We would like to offer you the chance to help finance the project, for the profits will be considerable.

I would like to meet you some time soon to discuss this matter. Could you let me know when you have time next week? I can come over to your office.

Brian Smith