NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATIO

N AND MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING

IN COACHING

Chapter 5

Allie Lyman

MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING Goal: To encourage change talk and

discourage resistance talkBoth coaches and clients need to make the

case for change. Expressing Empathy Developing Discrepancy Rolling with Resistance Supporting Self-Efficacy

EXPRESS EMPATHY Through empathy we help expand client

awareness, create openness and facilitate change.

MI starting premise: Change Talk Empathy and Change Talk combo helps to

get the client past a point where they feel “stuck”

Make sure to avoid pity and sympathy when trying to be empathetic “I feel sorry for you” “I feel your pain” “I respect your pain”

NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION (NVC)

Making observations, not evaluations “I failed to exercise last week” “I went to the gym one time last week”

Express feelings, not thoughts “I feel that my boss is controlling”

Identify needs, not strategies “I need to stop at the store” “I need to work out everyday”

Make requests, not demands “Would you be willing to tell me what you heard

me say” “What agreements would you be willing to make

with regard to exercise in the coming week?”

NVC MODEL

Refer to page 66 and 67 for good lists of feeling and universal needs words.

DEVELOPING DISCREPANCY

Open Ended Questions (OEQs) 50% of your question in an MI should be open

ended Reflective Listening Statements

Simple Reflections – flat mirror Amplified Reflections – concave mirror Double-Sided Reflections – trifold mirror Shifted-Focus Reflections – periscope

Decisional Balance Page 69: Quantitative Rating System

Rulers On a scale from 1 to 10…

ROLLING WITH RESISTANCE “People do not resist change, they resist

being changed” Communication patterns that interfere

with empathy Shifts that may assist in coaches to roll

with resistanceFrom correction to connectionFrom competence to confidenceFrom causes to capacitiesFrom counter-force to counterbalance.

SUPPORT SELF-EFFICACY Self-efficacy is just as important as lasting

change and helping clients become their best selves.

Empathy begins the process of supporting self-efficacyQuiets judgmental and nay-saying internal

voices Developing discrepancy and rolling with

resistance followContinue process without getting bogged

down by their own thinking and feeling process

Belief in goals will create movements to action