Matthew 18:15-17

If we are to have “Christlike Relationships,” we must

handle conflict according to Jesus‟ teachings.

◦ In this morning‟s text, Jesus tells the disciples how to handle

conflict.

◦ Matthew 18:15-17.

These verses are part of a discourse where Jesus teaches the

Twelve how to deal with Christian sinners.

◦ But, the Lord first must deal with an argument between

them.

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, „Who is the

greatest in the kingdom of heaven?‟” (18:1, ESV).

“They had argued with one another about who was the greatest”

(Mk 9:34, ESV).

◦ Jesus then announces a woe upon the one through whom

temptation comes (vv 7-9).

◦ The Parable of the Lost Sheep (vv 10-14).

Jesus then makes this teaching practical.

WHAT DOES A “CHRISTLIKERELATIONSHIP” LOOK LIKE?

A Reserved Relationship

A Ratified Relationship

A Removed Relationship

A RESERVED RELATIONSHIP

v 15

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault,

between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have

gained your brother” (v 15, ESV).

This passage speaks of committing a sin against a fellow

Christian.

◦ Jesus doesn‟t specify what the sin is.

That‟s important, for this can be any sin.

This process can be applied to all sins that Christians commit

against each other.

This passage speaks of committing a sin against a fellow

Christian.

◦ Jesus doesn‟t specify what the sin is.

◦ We have a solemn obligation not to sin against our brethren.

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,

it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened

around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt

18:6, ESV).

“Sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience

when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes

my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother

stumble” (1 Cor 8:12-13, ESV).

But, the truth is: As flawed human beings, we are going to sin

against one another.

Jesus declares this is a sin committed “against you.”

◦ It‟s not a sin against your neighbor or your family, etc.

◦ Rather, it is a sin against you.

Whatever the sin, Jesus calls for an approach wrapped in

humility.

He refers to the sinner as a “brother.”

◦ One party is not superior to the other.

◦ As brethren, love is to permeate the relationship.

“Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is

no cause for stumbling” (1 Jn 2:10, ESV).

“This is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that

we should love one another” (1 Jn 3:11, ESV).

This humble approach requires that I go to my brother alone.

◦ A Jewish teacher from the time of Jesus taught that publicly

shaming a brother – even if he was in error – would keep

one from the life to come.

◦ Obviously, Jesus doesn‟t have such a view in mind.

But, why does he say to go alone?

The goal of this exercise is to bring reconciliation to

believers.

◦ “If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” (Matt

18:15, ESV).

◦ If I know you‟ve been to everyone but me reconciliation is

going to be much more difficult.

If reconciliation is my aim, I‟ll seek not to embarrass my

brother.

Christian love seeks to keep one‟s wrongdoing as private as

possible.

◦ “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats

a matter separates close friends” (Prov 17:9, ESV).

◦ “Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not

reveal another‟s secret, lest he who hears you bring shame

upon you, and your ill repute have no end” (Prov 25:9-10,

ESV).

◦ “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love

covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet 4:8, ESV).

“MUCKRAKING IS NOT GOSPEL WORK. WITCH-HUNTING IS NOT GOSPEL WORK. SHAMING THE

OUTCAST IS NOT GOSPEL WORK. FORGIVING SIN IS GOSPEL

WORK.”

Shall we be involved in the “gospel work” of

forgiveness?

A RATIFIED RELATIONSHIP

v 16

“If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you,

that every charge may be established by the evidence of two

or three witnesses” (Matt 18:16, ESV).

Not everyone will be moved to repentance by being shown

his sin.

◦ In that case, we are to ratify the relationship by bringing one

or two witnesses.

“A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime

or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has

committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three

witnesses shall a charge be established” (Deut 19:15, ESV).

“Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of

two or three witnesses” (1 Tim 5:19, ESV).

WHY DOES THE LORD MAKE PROVISION FOR WITNESSES?

Having witnesses establishes the truthfulness of the claims

when the matter is brought before the church.

These witnesses also serve to convict the erring brother.

◦ “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church” (v 17,

ESV).

◦ It‟s much more difficult to ignore the words of many instead

of just the words of one.

These witnesses serve to demonstrate the love of the

Christian community.

◦ “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I

have loved you” (Jn 15:12, ESV).

◦ “This is his commandment, that we believe in the name of

his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has

commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides

in God, and God in him” (1 Jn 3:23-24, ESV).

IF WE TRULY LOVE OUR BRETHREN, WE WILL DO

EVERYTHING WE CAN TO KEEP THEM FROM SIN!

A REMOVED RELATIONSHIP

v 17

“If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if

he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a

Gentile and a tax collector” (v 17, ESV).

The entire point of this passage is the reconciliation of the

erring brother.

◦ That becomes obvious as Jesus speaks of the brother‟s

refusal to hear the church.

The church steps in to offer counsel.

God intends the church to help her members move closer to

heaven.

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are

spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on

yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another‟s burdens, and so

fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:1-2, ESV).

“Exhort one another every day, as long as it is called „today,‟ that none

of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb 3:13, ESV).

◦ As the church becomes aware of the situation, she seeks to

help the erring brother become more & more like Jesus.

There is no guarantee that the erring brother will repent.

◦ In such a case, he is to become as a Gentile and a tax

collector.

◦ Both Gentiles & tax collectors were excluded from the

Jewish synagogue.

◦ Thus, Jesus is calling for “A Removed Relationship” where

the church severs ties with the erring brother.

THIS DISCIPLINE SERVES TWO PURPOSES.

One: This discipline keeps sin from spreading in the church.

◦ “Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole

lump?” (1 Cor 5:6, ESV).

◦ If the church does nothing with erring brethren, others in the

church may fall into sin.

Two: This discipline seeks to bring the erring brother back

to Jesus.

◦ “You are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of

the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the

Lord” (1 Cor 5:5, ESV).

◦ “For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough,

so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he

may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to

reaffirm your love for him” (2 Cor 2:6-8, ESV).

WHEN APPLIED AS JESUSTAUGHT, DISCIPLINE WORKS IN

HONEST HEARTS.

Do you need to repent this morning?