Clean Final Inquiry Project

8/2/2019 Clean Final Inquiry Project

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Becca McMullan

Malcolm Campbell

English 1102

10 April 2012

Call Me, Beep Me, If You Want to Reach Me

Electronic communicationtexting, instant messaging and social mediais what

teenagers are familiar with and use at their own convenience. I have personally lost friends,

gained friends, got into viral fights with my parents and updated them of my whereabouts. Even I

felt jealous at times when I would see a girl comment on my boyfriends picture. How does

electronic communication affect the well-being of teenagers parent-child relationships, romantic

relationships and peer relationships?

How Parent-Child Relationships Are Affected By Electronic Communication

Myparents use text messaging to discuss family events like dinner or plans. Family

members can stay in touch with each other through electronic communication (Coyne et al. 160-

161). Parents use this form of communication to discuss mealtimes and other family events

(Subrahmanyam and Greenfield 135-136). My parents and I use text messaging to plan when we

are going to eat dinner or discuss what we are going to have for dinner. This is convenient for

both parties in such a case. For example, I may have already had something to eat, so I could text

my mom and let her know so she would not have to worry about waiting until I got home to tell

her.

Some parents are concerned with their teens using electronic communication. One of the

main reasons is that parents believe their teens that stay in touch too often with friends and lack

family communication. Kaveri Subrahmanyam and Patricia Greenfield, authors of Online


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Communication And Adolescent Relationships, have done research on how electronic

communication affects teenagers. The authors stated a working spouse may walk in the door and

the children might say hey, if anything at all and continue using their electronic gadgets (135).

This makes it more difficult for parents and children to have face-to-face conversations with the

distractions of electronic communication. This could be taking away from family bonding time.

Social networking websites allow for teens to express themselves. Will Lyman, narrator

of Growing Up Online documentary fromFrontline, discusses how a teenager, Jessica Hunter,

used Myspace as a way to express herself as her alter ego goth model, Autumn Edows. Her

parents were unaware of her other identity. Her father claimed he never saw her and she would

not eat dinner with them. If her parents were to walk into her room, she would simply change the

screen. She felt insecure about herself when she was younger, so she used Myspace as a way for

her to build up her confidence. Even though her parents were against it at first, eventually they

saw how Autumn Edows brought out the best in Jessica and their relationship with her through

their acceptance (Growing Up Online).

Parents may be unaware of what their children are doing online (Subrahmanyham and

Greenfield 124). In the documentary, Growing Up Online, the narrator mentions how Evan

Skinner, a mother of four teenagers, keeps the family computer in the kitchen to keep an eye on

them. She admits her kids are edgy and they will change the screen whenever they are on

Facebook (Growing Up Online). Her son, Cam, went to a rock concert, drinking and partying

with friends and other people from his school. The video was posted online and his mother found

out through an email from another parent. Once Skinner took the issue into her own hands by

emailing all the parents, it had a negative toll on her relationship with her son and the rest of the


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family. Cam would avoid talking about his day at school or sharing any other information with

his parents (Growing Up Online).

My parents and I have had a few text fights. Some of them involved me lashing out at my

mom for telling me I cannot go out with friends or her getting angry as to why I chose not to

come home from school one weekend. Whenever we were angry or would lash out into an

argument, it would in some cases continue through several text messages. Now that was an

awkward moment when I would walk into the house after sending those text messages.

Although, we have been able to keep in touch more through texting. It would come in handy

whenever I had to let my parents know where I was, like if I were staying after school or going

out somewhere.

How Romantic Relationships Are Affected By Electronic Communication

Personally, I found it easier to talk to other guys through text messages. I could have

time to think of what to say through a text message rather than not say a word in person. Kaveri

Subrahmanyam and Patricia Greenfield add that teens find instant messaging easier to use when

talking to someone of the opposite sex (125). Teens feel more confident when using this virtual

form of communication as a way for hooking up or getting together with someone of the

opposite sex, compared to real-life conversations (129). This leaves out the physical challenges

of meeting someone new and focuses more on playful banter with text messages.

Sarah Coyne, along with other authors have done several studies relating to teenage

romantic relationships and how couples can use texting as a way of communicating more

throughout the day when they are apart (Coyne et al. 152). Couples that go to separate colleges

for instance, can text each other to keep in touch rather than never hear from them at all. My

boyfriend and I text each other when we are away from each other. This allows us to remain in


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contact in a much faster, simpler way rather than just waiting to hopefully bump into each other

throughout the day.

Although there can be misunderstandings in text messages (Coyne et al. 152). Personally,

I have had instances when I may be upset about something and try to hide it from my boyfriend

by texting a short its alright or Im fine with a few smiley faces here and there. Without me

expressing myself physically as I normally would in person, he may not notice something is

wrong.

Sarah Coyne and other authors she had done studies with address that couples that just

started dating may overkill how much time they spend using media rather than talking things out

person (Coyne et al. 152). Individuals in a relationship would . . .express affection towards their

partner. . . and confront them more using the media (160). For instance, an individual that

previously got into an argument with their partner may text him or her to release their emotions

about the previous argument (160). My boyfriend and I text each other more often than the time

we spend seeing each other. This may make it harder for us to confront each other about issues

since we do not see each other as often as we would like, so it may have to be resolved through

text messages.

Social networking websites like Facebook can enhance jealousy in couples. For instance,

a girlfriend may see a picture of her boyfriend with another girl that posts heart symbols and I

love you on the picture. The girlfriend may take that as the friend flirting with her boyfriend and

become envious of their friendship publicly displayed online. Tom Meltzer, a man in his early

twenties and writer for The Guardian, adds that there can be miscommunication online, but

exchanging short responses on a Facebook chat in place of a quality conversation in person can

make the relationship more distant.


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Break ups are terrible, but it only gets worse once your relationship status changes from

in a relationship to single like mine did on Facebook. Once that happened, within several

hours, I got texts and Facebook messages from people asking me what happened. As if it was not

enough hearing people talk about it, I would see Facebook status he made that were directed

towards me and people would like or comment on them. It was atrocious and not an event I

want to experience again. This affected how I would maintain friendships with people we were

both friends with. I felt awkward being around some of the same people he was friends with.

How Peer Relationships Are Affected By Electronic Communication

Peer relationships online are similar to clichs or social groups in school when it comes

to fitting in. Tom Meltzer discusses how Facebook has affected him. Meltzer felt compelled to

join Facebook, as he thought of it as social suicide if he opted not to (Meltzer). Several years

ago he claims . . .on probably the loneliest week of my life, my newly created Facebook page

looked me square in the eye and announced You have 0 friends (Meltzer). He views Facebook

as an enhancement of old clichs. I understand where he is coming from. I see the same popular

girls I would see in school posting thousands of pictures of themselves and updating their status

on Facebook. Not only would I see them in school, but I would see them on Facebook too, like

there was no way to avoid them.

Mannerisms exchanged in person seem to diminish over time online. Hilary Stout

mentions how a mother, Laura Shumaker, remembers her son writing happy birthday on his

friends Facebook wall, rather than wishing his friend a happy birthday in person. Personally,

when I was younger, I remember when my friends would call me or come to my house just to

wish me a happy birthday. Now, Facebook reminds them when it is. Sometimes all I get is an

abbreviated form like happy bday or hbd. Not only are people dependent on Facebook to


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remind them about such important events like birthdays, even their short, abbreviated responses

seem rude and impersonal.

There have been instances where I have gotten into fights through text messages. I have

lost close friends over text messaging each other. Whenever something would go wrong, I would

send long text messages, possibly five or more and vice versa. There were messages full of

words with complete anger and frustration, words that hurt enough to make me feel isolated and

miserable. I would cringe when my phone would vibrate.

Online communication can allow shy kids to come out of their shell and socially interact

with others. Hilary Stout adds that Robert Wilson claims his son, Andy, was teased jokingly by

his friends on Facebook. Wilson suggested his other son, Evan, who is more introverted, create a

Facebook account. He believes his son is now developing social skills he did not have. He noted

Evan was talking to a girl from his former school (Stout).

I have been able to keep in touch with my friends through text messaging and Facebook.

An old friend of mine I met several years ago sent me an email several months ago and added me

on Facebook. We talk to each other every now and then. She mentioned that I could come visit

her whenever I would visit Myrtle Beach. Another friend of mine that lives in Pennsylvania and I

keep in touch through text messaging. She may come visit me this summer.

Tom Meltzer does admit there are some advantages to social networking sites like

Facebook. New topics are spread fast and efficiently, like his example of Michael Jacksons

death. Facebook also makes it easier to remember friends birthdays (Meltzer). Skype allows

people to keep in touch with each other through a video chat where each person can be seen

while having a conversation at the same time. Electronic communication provides people over


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long distances the ability to stay in contact with each other, stay up to date with friends and

family, and be aware of news topics.

Conclusion - My Final Thoughts

What ever happened to the old days? I remember hanging out with my friends in my

neighborhood every day after school. Now, all we do is text or Facebook each other. This is

convenient, but is it always necessary or beneficial? It is easy and fast whenever I am in a rush.

However, the more I think about it, sometimes I do not feel as close as I normally did with

people I interacted with in person. Text messages are easily misread and the amount of privacy I

used to have seems to have blown straight out the window. People can simply look over your

shoulder and read what you are texting or typing on a Facebook message. Facebook relationships

and interests are displayed and people use that as a way to know more about you as a person.

What ever happened to simply asking someone, What are your hobbies? Facebook has that

under control; there is no need for you to ask that in person. What about flirting with someone?

There is no need for that in person, there is always texting and Facebook chat, so even when that

girl says no to you asking her to prom, there is no need for that kind of public let down at

school. What about friends that moved and live far away? Facebook and text messaging has

allowed me to keep in touch with them rather than part our separate ways.

Themore I thought about how electronic communication affected teen relationships; the

more I realized the importance of face-to-face social interaction. Without verbal and social cues,

there will more likely be misunderstandings (Coyne et al. 152). As I look back now, I wish I

would have talked things out with my friend. I feel like there is more to be said from both parties

and we might have misread each other when we were texting each other. There were never any

face-to-face conversations whenever we got angry, which might have been an a more effective


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way to communicate that way we could read body language to determine what to say next

without being too offensive.

Eventually, my former boyfriend and I talked things out face-to-face, which made the

conversation much easier. I could tell he felt uncomfortable by the way he would slouch or look

in a direction opposite from me. Face-to-face social interaction helped us communicate without

simply avoiding a question like you could through a text or Facebook message. Electronic

communication does have its advantages, but sometimes it can be oppressive or discomforting.

These forms of electronic communication have allowed me to stay in contact and remain

close to friends and family. On the other hand, it has brought me apart from some of them. My

opinion is that electronic communication can be beneficial, but there is a limit to how often it is

used. Yes, it is convenient when talking with friends that live over long distances or texting your

parents to tell them you are going to be late for dinner. However, it is not needed when

communicating with friends that live close by or right next door. It is not necessary to text your

parents that your going out for the night when they are downstairs. Electronic communication is

nice to have, but too much can take away from social interaction needed to maintain

relationships with people that allow for physical and verbal expression that text messages and

Facebook chats do not have. As long as electronic communication is not extensively used when

it is not needed, then it can provide teenagers with the chance to keep those that are physically

far away close and allow them to remain in touch with them.


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Works Cited

Coyne, Sarah, et al. "I Luv U :)!: A Descriptive Study of the Media of Individuals in Romantic

Relationships."Family Relations 60.2 (2011): 150-162.Education Full Text (H.W.

Wilson). Web. 17 Feb. 2012.

Growing Up Online. Nar. Will Lyman.Frontline. PBS. WGBH, Boston.28 Jan 2008. Web.

26 Mar. 2012.

Meltzer, Tom. "Social networking: Failure to connect." Guardian. The Guardian.(2010): n. pag.

Web. 17 Feb.2012.


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Stout, Hilary. Antisocial Networking?New York Times.The New York Times.30 Apr. 2010.Web. 12 Feb. 2012.

Subrahmanyam, Kaveri, and Patricia Greenfield. "Online Communication And Adolescent

Relationships."Future Of Children 18.1 (2008): 119-146.Education Research Complete.

Web. 17 Feb. 2012.

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