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Achieving Voluntary Compliance: M aking C ourtesy C ommon Presented by the College Civility Committee 2009. College Civility Committee. M onroe C ommunity C ollege: … M aking C ourtesy C ommon. Scenario # 1. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
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Achieving Voluntary Achieving Voluntary Compliance:Compliance:
MMaking aking CCourtesy ourtesy CCommon ommon
Presented by the Presented by the College Civility CommitteeCollege Civility Committee
20092009
College College Civility Civility CommittCommitteeee
Monroe Community College:…Making Courtesy Common
Scenario # 1Scenario # 1You’re walking through a
crowded hallway during class change and a group of 10-12 students are standing in the
middle of the hall and blocking others from getting by.What do you do?
“Being civil means being constantly aware of others
and weaving restraint, respect, and consideration
into the very fabric of this awareness.”
- P.M. ForniCo-founder of the Johns HopkinsCivility Project
??As MCC faculty As MCC faculty or staff, what or staff, what
is is your role your role
as it relates to as it relates to civility?civility?
Survey Survey Says…Says…
In a recent In a recent survey, what survey, what do you think do you think
were listed as were listed as the most the most
common acts common acts of incivility of incivility
at MCC?at MCC?
1. Stealing2. Damaging college
property3. Harassing racial, ethnic,
or gender-based comments
4. Not properly disposing of food and garbage
5. Loud and inappropriate language
Top 5 Top 5 concernsconcerns
What factors help create What factors help create incivility?incivility?
Factors That Factors That Help Create IncivilityHelp Create Incivility
Stress Time Personal interest Anonymity Lack of practice
Why are Why are some people some people
so much so much more more
successful successful than others than others at getting at getting people to people to listen to listen to
them or to them or to comply with comply with
a simple a simple request?request?
The The “Likeabili“Likeabili
ty ty Factor”Factor”
and and
our our ability to ability to persuadepersuade
What are some things that What are some things that help make-up our “likability help make-up our “likability
factor”?factor”?
Our First Our First ImpressionImpression
How quickly do How quickly do people make a first people make a first
impression?impression?
What image do What image do you project?you project?
Our SmileOur Smile
“Don’t open a “Don’t open a shop, shop,
unless you unless you like to smile.”like to smile.”
- Chinese - Chinese ProverbProverb
Our HandshakeOur Handshake
or the new “Elbow shake”or the new “Elbow shake”
Our WordsOur Words
Our Approachability (Use Our Approachability (Use names)names)
19361936
Improving Your Improving Your LikabilityLikability
Engage others in a friendly manner
Talk in the other persons interest
Find something good to sayHelp, without being askedShow gratitude and appreciationNever be mean-spirited
The Power of a ComplimentThe Power of a Compliment
A sincere compliment is one A sincere compliment is one of the most effective of the most effective
motivational methods in motivational methods in existenceexistence
Spreading KindnessSpreading Kindness“Three things in
human life are important;
the first is to be kind,the second is to be
kind, and the third is to be
kind.”
- Henry James
What if things heat up?What if things heat up?
Keeping Your Keeping Your Cool…Cool…
Listen attentively (let the person Listen attentively (let the person vent)vent)Use the persons’ nameUse the persons’ nameMaintain a calm and sincere voiceMaintain a calm and sincere voiceTell the person what you Tell the person what you “CAN” “CAN” do do for themfor themAccept responsibility when Accept responsibility when warrantedwarrantedInvolve the person in finding a Involve the person in finding a solutionsolutionFollow-upFollow-upAsk if there is anything else you can Ask if there is anything else you can dodo
DiffusingDiffusing
“To win one hundred victories in one
hundred battles is not the highest skill.
To subdue the enemy without fighting is the greatest skill.”
- Sun-tzu
““Verbal Judo” adviceVerbal Judo” advice“It’s o.k. if someone insults,
resists, or attacks you. Laugh it off. Show that it has no meaning, no sting.
If you fight back ands resist the affront, you give it life and credibility. If you defend yourself, you invite
counterattack.”
- George J. Thompson, Ph.D
Verbal Judo: Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of The Gentle Art of
PersuasionPersuasion All martial arts are based on
redirection
Verbal Judo is the use of words to achieve your objective
The goal of persuasion is to generate voluntary compliance (making a reasonable request)
Empathy…Empathy…the most powerful word in the the most powerful word in the
English languageEnglish languageem, from the Latin, means “to see through”
andpathy, from the Greek, means “the eye of the other”
The ultimate empathetic The ultimate empathetic sentence…sentence…
“Let me be sure
I heard what you
just said.”
LEAPSLEAPS Listen Empathize Ask Paraphrase Summarize
RudenessRudeness“If anything
characterizes the twenty-first century, it’s our inability to restrain ourselves for the benefit of other people.”
- James Katz
How do you deal with How do you deal with rudeness?rudeness?
There’s probably a causeThere’s probably a cause
Tips For Approaching Tips For Approaching OthersOthers
Assess the situation (Safety First) Approach the individuals(s) with respect
(“Excuse me…”) Introduce yourself Allow the individual(s) to save face
(spacing/posture) Speak in a pleasant tone Make a reasonable request Know when to disengage Notify Public Safety Identify witnesses and prepare to document
Setting the tone in the Setting the tone in the classroomclassroom
Scenario # 2Scenario # 2You’re walking through the
courtyard and observe several people playing hackysack. It is a
non-smoking area. Two of the players are smoking cigarettes;
one of them discards their cigarette butt on the grass.
What do you do?
Scenario # 3Scenario # 3You’re walking through the Marketplace Café and two
students are using very loud and vulgar language as they argue
over who is the greatest basketball player of all-time;
Lebron James or Kobe Bryant.What do you do?
Scenario # 4Scenario # 4You are walking through the hallway connecting building 2 and building 11 (International Hall) and observe a male and female engaged in very heavy
and inappropriate petting, kissing, and touchingWhat do you do?
Scenario # 5Scenario # 5As a faculty member, you have
a student who continually interrupts the class with cell
phone calls/texting/ inappropriate comments, etc..
What do you do?
Life Is Like An Life Is Like An Unfailing BoomerangUnfailing Boomerang
“Our thoughts, deeds and words all return
to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.”
- Florence Shinn
What are we role What are we role modeling to modeling to
our students on a daily our students on a daily basis?basis?
Recommended for your Recommended for your nightstandnightstand
Thank you!Thank you!Please fill out the Please fill out the
evaluation form and evaluation form and enjoy the rest of your enjoy the rest of your
day!day!