Commentary on Candidate Responses

OCR Advanced GCE Gujarati 1

Commentary on Candidate Responses

GCE Gujarati OCR GCE in Gujarati H594

Unit: F884 These commentaries are designed to accompany the OCR GCE Gujarati specification for teaching from September 2008.


GCE Gujarati

F884 Listening, Reading and Writing 2

OCR has produced these commentaries on candidate responses to support teachers in interpreting the assessment criteria for the current GCE specifications. This content has been produced by senior OCR examiners, with the support of the Qualifications Manager, to illustrate how the questions might be answered and provide some commentary on what factors contribute to an overall grading. The candidate material in this booklet has been taken from the June 2010 exam series. Please note that this resource is provided for advice and guidance only and does not in any way constitute a model or endorsed response. All material is provided for appropriate use by teachers within a centre. No copies of the text may be made except for permitted personal use. OCR materials may be reproduced for use within a centre, but may not be reproduced for external publication in digital or other format without the express permission of OCR. Anyone wishing to reproduce OCR materials, for purposes other than assessment, teaching or private study must apply for permission in writing from OCR.

Page 20 of 27Print Script

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Essay A

Title: સં કૃિત: ઈિતહાસ અને વારસો “િબર્ટનના ગજુરાતીઓએ તેમના સાં કૃિતક વારસાને ટકાવી રાખ્યો છે.”

તમે શુ ંમાનો છો? િબર્ટનના ગજુરાતીઓના ંિરવાજ, રહણેીકરણી, અને ધમર્ને ધ્યાનમા ંરાખી તમારો અિભપર્ાય આપો અને તેનુ ંસમથર્ન કરો. Length: Approx 500 words Content The candidate has made a good introduction stating what the word culture means to different people – religion, respect and values for some and language, dress, food to others. She then gives her opinion that most families have maintained their Gujarati culture in the UK. She then justifies her opinion detailing the ways in which they do this – ties with Gujarat, the traditional food, religion, festivals. She goes on to detail how the older generation has a duty to instil the culture into their UK born children and gives an example of learning of the language. She also states that Gujarati people have to change some ways while they live in the UK so they can integrate into British society. She concludes with a powerful statement to support her opinion. ‘If you ever have a doubt about this, just ask yourself if you will ever confront an elder, if you will do any task without remembering God or if you will ever keep count of tomatoes or lemons taken by a neighbour. If the answer is NO, you are a pucca Gujarati.’ Grid N: Relevance and Points of View The candidate gives a clear opinion in answer to the question and then goes on to justify it giving examples of the ways in which this is done. The final statement demonstrates that the candidate has an insight into the way of life of Gujarati people living in Britain. Fully relevant so 10 - full marks awarded. Grid O: Structure and Analysis 15 was awarded as the candidate structured her response in a logical and clear way. She started with a good introduction, gave her view, and then developed her argument giving different ways in which the Gujarati people maintain their customs, religion and life style. The final statement both supported her view and made a powerful conclusion. The essay shows genuine clarity and control of the information and her point of view is confidently developed. Quality of Language The candidate used quite complex sentence structures and maintained accuracy of spelling and grammar throughout the essay. She has used high level vocabulary – ઉપદેશ, આદર, આિલશાન, પર્ાપ્ત, સજીવ etc. and some idiomatic phrases – િદવાળીથી માડંીને ધળેૂટી સધુી, મળૂ સમજતા વાર લાગે, જીવન ગિતવા ં છે, પાક્કા ગજૂરાતી etc. She clearly has the linguistic ability of a native Gujarati speaker. The candidate was awarded full 20 marks for accuracy (10) and range (10) of language. Mark: 10+15+10+10 = 45


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Essay B


તમે શુ ંમાનો છો? િબર્ટનના ગજુરાતીઓના ંિરવાજ, રહણેીકરણી, અને ધમર્ને ધ્યાનમા ંરાખી તમારો અિભપર્ાય આપો અને તેનુ ંસમથર્ન કરો. Length: Approx 360 words Content This candidate introduces his essay by stating where the Gujarati people living in the UK came from and then clearly states his opinion that they have maintained their culture. The candidate goes on to give detailed justifications. He writes about the festivals that Gujarati people celebrate in UK, referring to the religious activity, the dancing at Navratri and the speciality food items that are cooked on these days. He discusses the daily diet of Gujarati people in this country and states that although foods like pizza or chips are enjoyed, food eaten at home is still predominantly curry, chapatti, rice and daal. The candidate elaborates that this is possible because shops stock Gujarati food items. The candidate makes further comments on traditional clothes that are still worn by Gujarati people and on the religious activities and customs regarding marriage etc. The candidate concludes by saying that most Gujarati people follow the traditions but a small number do not. Grid N: Relevance and Points of View 8 marks were awarded because the information given by the candidate is mostly relevant to the question and he produces an original response. There was some irrelevance with reference to vegetarianism, smoking and drinking. Grid O: Structure and Analysis 14 marks were awarded as the candidate has developed his argument in an organised manner. He introduced the topic well, analysed different aspects of Gujarati culture and provided a good conclusion for his analysis. Quality of Language Although there are some minor errors of spelling, grammar is mostly accurate. The candidate has used a variety of connectives like પણ, અને, વા ંકે and phrases like બીજુ ંએ છે કે, દુખની વાત એ છે કે etc. successfully and correctly. He has produced many relevant words like ધમૂધામ, રંગબેરંગી, અિભનદંન, સાડી, સલવાર, શેરવાણી, હવન etc. to score 18 marks in total – 9 for accuracy and 9 for range. Mark: 8 + 14 + 18 = 40








Essay C


તમે શુ ંમાનો છો? િબર્ટનના ગજુરાતીઓના ંિરવાજ, રહણેીકરણી, અને ધમર્ને ધ્યાનમા ંરાખી તમારો અિભપર્ાય આપો અને તેનુ ંસમથર્ન કરો. Length: Approx 414 words Content The candidate starts his essay stating that he agrees with the statement. He then justifies his opinion by stating that parents send their children to learn Gujarati Language. The candidate further develops this point stating where the learning is done and what the benefits are. There is some confusion at the end of the second paragraph and the beginning of 3rd paragraph. The candidate writes further justifying his opinion by discussing participation in cultural activities. He does not detail the type of activities but merely states that they know about their culture through this. He then states that the life style of Gujarati people is not changed but is maintained. However, he does not detail the aspects that are still maintained. The candidate then talks about religion and festivals and develops this quite well stating what festivals they celebrate and how. The candidate concludes his essay stating that in his opinion, with the exception of a few Gujarati people, most have maintained their culture. Grid N: Relevance and Points of View This candidate scored 6 marks as the information is mainly relevant and the candidate supports his view by stating examples of language and religious activities. He could have supported his view further by stating how the customs and life styles are maintained e.g. occasions, food, dress, home life etc. Grid O: Structure and Analysis The candidate scored 9 marks as his response is structured and organised. He could have scored higher marks if he developed his view further – e.g. he says that in the present times the life style of Gujarati people has not changed, it is maintained, but then instead of giving examples of how it is maintained, he goes on to say that the credit for this goes to the elders who work hard to ensure that their families maintain it. Quality of Language The candidate scored 15 marks for Quality of Language but scored higher for accuracy than for range. His language is mostly accurate however although he has attempted to use wider vocabulary there is some repetition of words and phrases. There are many short sentences and candidate has ended sentences with full stops where he should not have done. Mark: 6 + 9 + 9 + 6 = 30






Essay D

િવ ાન અને પર્ૌ ોિગક િવ ાન: પર્ૌ ોિગક િવકાસ “ઈન્ટરનેટ માનવ માટે ઘણા બધા લાભ લા યુ ંછે.” આધિુનક જીવન પર ઈન્ટરનેટની અસરનુ ંપથૃક્કરણ કરો. તેના લાભ અને ગેરલાભ બ ેનો ઉ લેખ કરો અને તમારા િવચારોનુ ંસમથર્ન કરો. Length: Approx 300 words Content The candidate starts his essay introducing the internet as a medium through which many things can be done in a short time. He then gives brief details of the advantages i.e. on-line communication, getting information for school work and watching movies free of charge, etc. He gives slightly more detail about the cost of the internet and its use in running small businesses and providing services. The candidate then writes about disadvantages and gives brief details about computer theft and hacking. The candidate concludes saying that there are advantages but one has to be cautious. The candidate seems to have concentrated more on use of computer for business and for saving or making money. Grid N: Relevance and Points of View The essay has some relevant information but it is often dealt with superficially and without examples and the candidate does not relate the advantages and disadvantages to the Gujarati community. All the advantages stated in the essay relate equally to any person and any country but could have been used to illustrate the advantage to Indian businesses accessing new markets or uses of the internet made by a typical Gujarati family. This is a requirement of the specification and so only 4 marks were awarded for relevance. Grid O: Structure and Analysis The candidate has produced a structured response and there is some logical organisation of points of view. He has developed some points but the analysis lacks detail, balance and clarity. For example, more detail is given about the use of the internet for business and making and saving of money is mentioned several times but the advantages and disadvantages of the use of the internet for school work, information, and entertainment are mentioned but not analysed in any detail. Quality of Language 8 marks were awarded for accuracy of the language as it is generally accurate. There are a few complex sentences with correct grammatical structures. Although there is some repetition of vocabulary the candidate has used a range of vocabulary and a variety of complex sentences – 7 marks awarded for range. Total for Language – 15 marks. Mark: 4 +8 + 8 + 7 = 27








Essay E

સવાલ ૧3 સમાજ: કાયદો અને યવ થા તમારા થાિનક ગજુરાતી સમાચાર પતર્ માટે, િબર્ટનમા ંછરી – ચાકુ વડે થતા ગનુાઓના િવષય પર એક લેખ લખો. તમારા લેખમા ંઆ ગનુાઓના ંકારણો અને સભંિવત ઉકેલોનુ ંપથૃક્કરણ કરો. Length: Approx 375 words Content The candidate starts her essay stating that there is a lot of knife crime in London and states one simple reason for knife crime. She then gives a narrative about an incident involving a friend who lost her life due to knife crime. The candidate describes the reason for the attack and the details of the event which resulted in the death. She then relates the events that followed – the cremation and the religious activities, the police investigation, the consequences for the criminal and the effect his capture had on the community. The candidate concludes her essay with advice to everyone never use a knife otherwise they will be put in prison and they will hardly get any food. Grid N: Relevance and Points of View The title asked candidates to write an essay on the subject of knife crime in Britain and analyse the reasons and possible solutions for this. Although the candidate’s narrative is about knife crime which affected a Gujarati family the only specific reference to the community was the funeral arrangements and all other information was very generalised. Due to the narrative nature of the essay it does not really analyse the reasons for this type of crime and solutions to help reduce it. 4 marks was deemed to be appropriate. Grid O: Structure and Analysis The candidate has narrated the story in an organised manner and paragraphs are linked in a logical manner. However her writing does not develop an argument and is very narrative hence she was put in the middle band 6 to 9. Quality of language The candidate was placed in the lower end of the middle band for accuracy as well as range. There is some complex language but it is often combined with Hindi phrases. The language is heavily influenced by Hindi, has errors of spelling, grammar and word order. Mark: 4 + 7 + 5 + 5 = 21






Essay F

સવાલ ૧૨ સમાજ: એકતા અને અલગતા “ધાિમર્ક સહનશીલતા એ ભારતીય બધંારણનો મહત્ત્વનો ભાગ છે.” જુદી જુદી ધાિમર્ક સં થાઓ વચ્ચેના સબંધંમા ંઆ સહનશીલતા ક્યા ંક્યા ંજોવા મળે છે અને બધંારણની અપેક્ષાઓ કેટલે અંશે ફળીભતૂ થાય છે તે કહો. Length: Approx 180 words Content Sadly it looks like this candidate has read the main title in bold and started writing in general on integration and exclusion without pointing his discussion to the statement ‘Religious tolerance is an important part of the Indian Constitution’. He talks about the advantages and disadvantages of being alone and being united. This is quite a short essay and does not meet the suggested minimum of 250 words. The candidate writes that a person who is not on his own can get support, go to parties, chat with others, where as the one that is on his own will have no peace. He will be stressed and lonely. He equates a lonely person to a statue. Grid N: Relevance and Points of View 3 marks were awarded but it was felt to be generous as the essay does not relate it to the title or to the Gujarati Community, but has given some points of view about the main topic. Grid O: Structure and Analysis The candidate shows a limited ability to develop his points of view so 4 marks was deemed to be appropriate. Quality of Language The essay is shorter than the minimum requirement. The language is generally accurate but there are some basic errors of spelling so 5 marks awarded for Accuracy. The range of vocabulary and structures is rather restricted so 4 marks were awarded. Total 9 marks for language. Mark: 3 + 4 + 5 + 4 = 21 Copyright disclaimer The contents of this document are protected by copyright. Teachers are reminded that the inappropriate disclosure of confidential assessment material is considered to constitute malpractice.

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