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Conflict Resolution Mrs. Anthony
Perspective –What is yours? All people are different. We have different likes, dislikes,
beliefs, and values. These differences make up our individual
perspective.
Conflict
• Conflict: a clash among people who have opposing ideas or interests
▫ Conflict is a normal part of life! It is not always bad
▫ Some are trivial and quick to resolve, while others are more serious and take time and effort to resolve
*worst kinds are ones that lead to violence*
Why does it occur?
• Poor communication • Power struggles • Personality differences • Jealousy • Prejudice
• 5 basic needs unmet
▫ Belonging- loving, sharing, “fitting in” w/others ▫ Power- feeling important, being respected ▫ Freedom- making choices ▫ Fun- laughing, playing, finding joy in life ▫ Security- feeling safe from put-downs, ridicule
Positive Results of Conflict
• Think about the last time you settled a disagreement with someone…..
▫ Did you learn something that was helpful?
• Working out a conflict can be a valuable experience
▫ Helps you develop problem solving skills ▫ Help you communicate effectively ▫ Helps you how to get along with people who don’t
agree with you ▫ Strengthens relationships ▫ Learn new things about your self and others
Negative Results of Conflict
• Negative emotions: anger, frustration, fear, pain, humiliation
• Stress: stress can cause headaches, anxiety, digestive problems, difficulty sleeping
• Hurtful words: they can’t be unsaid
• Damaged relationships: some conflicts can last a lifetime if they never get resolved
• Violence
Preventing Conflict
• Best way to deal with conflict is to prevent it from happening in the first place
▫ Adapting your behavior to other people
Time example
▫ Examine your attitude
Are you defensive? Negative?
Resolving Conflict
• Use the problem solving process:
1. Identify the problem
2. Identify who owns the problem (who does it affect?)
3. Accept ownership of the problem
4. Solve the problem, using decision making skills
Negotiation
• Negotiation: communicating about a problem to try to reach an acceptable solution
• For negotiation to be successful ▫ All involved in conflict must be willing to participate ▫ Everyone must be open to considering other’s
viewpoints ▫ Use good communication skills (I messages, active
listening)
• Ideal outcome: WIN-WIN solution ▫ Everyone involved benefits, and finds solution or
alternative that is appealing
Compromise
• Each party agrees to give up something in order to reach a solution that satisfies everyone
Agree to Disagree
• Some differences can not be resolved because it is clear that the parties will not change their point of view
• Simply accept that you have a difference opinion rather than arguing about it
Withdraw
• When a solution is seeming impossible to find & negotiations are going nowhere
• May be best to withdraw for a while
▫ Both parties can calm down
▫ Both parties can collect new thoughts
• Resume negotiations later with new ideas
Mediation
• Mediate- “to be in the middle”
• Settling a dispute with the help of an impartial third party
▫ Help to find a fair solution that satisfies both
• In the 1970s Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann identified five main styles of dealing with conflict that vary in their degrees of cooperativeness and assertiveness.
• They argued that people typically have a preferred conflict resolution style. However they also noted that different styles were most useful in different situations.
• Competing: a win-lose orientation in which you try to maximize your gains ▫ People who tend towards a competitive style take a firm stand, know what they
want, and operate from a position of power
• Compromising: “Split the Difference”
▫ People who prefer this style try to find a solution that will partially satisfy everyone. Everyone is expected to give up something
• Collaborating: Problem-solving style in which the parties work together
against the problem. ▫ People who tend towards this style try to meet the needs of all people involved.
They can be highly assertive but cooperate effectively and acknowledge that everyone is important
• Avoiding: Avoidance can be either physical and/or psychological
▫ People tending towards this seek to evade the conflict entirely
• Accommodating: meeting the needs of the other person but ignoring your
own needs. ▫ This style indicates a willingness to meet the needs of others at the expense of the
person’s own needs.
www.creducation.org CRETE Project
Thomas and Kilmann Styles
• Competing:
▫ When it is a matter of law, ethics, safety, or rules. When there is an emergency and a decision must be make fast
▫ When important others expect you to compete.
▫ When the other will be very competitive.
▫ AND when the stakes are high.
*Can leave people feeling bruised, unsatisfied and resentful
When Each Style is the Best
When Each Style is the Best • Avoiding
▫ When the issue is trivial to you
▫ When there is no long-term relationship
▫ When you are the low power party in a serious power imbalance
▫ When the victory is impossible
*This can be a weak and ineffective approach to take
www.creducation.org CRETE Project
When Each Style is the Best
• Collaborating: ▫ When the issue is complex and requires
creativity, and too important for a simple trade-off
▫ When there is a long-term relationship. ▫ When you need to bring together a variety
of viewpoints to get best solution ▫ When there has been previous conflicts in
a group
www.creducation.org
When Each Style is the Best
• Compromising
▫ When the cost of conflict is higher than the cost of losing ground
▫ When equal strength opponents are at a standstill
▫ When there are limited resources. ▫ When time is short and a deadline is
near.
When Each Style is the Best
• Accommodating: ▫ When the issue is trivial to you, and
matters more to the other party ▫ When harmony in the relationship is
important. Peace is more valuable than winning.
▫ When you are the low power party in a serious power imbalance.
▫ When you want to build trust with the other by demonstrating a protection of their interests.
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFf88IVl_Wc
• Answer questions at the end on a separate piece of paper! USE COMPLETE SENTENCES