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8/7/2019 Conflicts & Negotiations
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Conflicts & NegotiationsConflicts & Negotiations
AHRMAHRM
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What is conflict?What is conflict?
It is a process that begins when one
party perceives that another partyhas negatively affected, or is about to
negatively affect, something that the
first party cares about
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Why do we go through conflicts?Why do we go through conflicts?
As long as there is life, there will always
be conflicts to resolve.
Conflicts arise as people differ in how theyperceive reality and differ in terms of
interests and goals.
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Resolving conflictsResolving conflicts
Resolving conflicts can be mentally
exhausting and emotionally draining
The important point is to manage theconflict, not to suppress it and not to let it
escalate out of control.
Conflict should be used as a critical aspect
of creativity and motivation.
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There are 4 stages forconflictThere are 4 stages forconflict
Stage one: mild discussion hoping to reach apleasurable solution (those who talk are the onesinvolved) no heated arguments
Stage two: emotional outbursts, and booming voices-this stage involves loss in time and dignity if unresolvedmay lead to stage three.
Third stage: solutions here call forsome compromiseon principles. It can revert to stage two however it couldescalate into a breakdown of the situation leading topermanent strife between parties
Forth stage: expensive stage. Going to court. We needto keep ourselves in stage one or two.
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Responses to conflictResponses to conflict
Competition: Distributive (win-lose) bargaining
Satisfying your needs is important; satisfying the othersneed isnt important to you.
Collaboration: Integrative (win-win) Satisfying both your needs and the others is important
Compromising: Satisfying both your needs and theothers are moderately important
Avoiding: You are indifferent about satisfying eitheryour needs or the others needs; no action is likely
Accommodating: simply yielding it doe not matter toyou and it matters to the other person.
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What is negotiation?What is negotiation?
Negotiation is a process of trying to makeopposing parties come to a middle groundwhere they can meet eye-to-eye, talkabout theirconflicts in a better light, andaspire fora win-win resolution to conflicts.
The word negotiate comes from the Latinword;
NEG meaning not and OTIO Leisure
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Successful NegotiationsSuccessful Negotiations
It starts off assuming collaborative orwin-win negotiation. Most good negotiators will
try fora win-win oraim at a situation
where both sides feel they won.Negotiations tend to go much better if
both sides perceive they are in a win-winsituation or both sides approach the
negotiation wanting to create value orsatisfy both their own needs and the
others needs
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Rational Vs Emotional componentsRational Vs Emotional components
of Negotiationof Negotiation
All negotiations involve two levels: a
rational decision making ( substantive)
process and a psychological (emotional
process).
The failure of two people to reach the
optimal resolution orbest alternative
stems from intangible factors such aspsychological factors
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Psychological factorsPsychological factors
How comfortable each feels about conflict
How each perceives or-misperceives the other
The assumptions eachmakes about the other
and the problem
The attitudes and expectations about the other
The decisions eachmakes about trust, about
how important winning is, how important it is toavoid conflict, how much one likes ordislikes the
other, how important it is to not look foolish
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Failure to understand theFailure to understand the
psychological processpsychological process
Failure to understand these psychological
needs and issues is at the root ofmost
unsuccessful negotiations. Because of
norms in most organizations discourage
open expression of negative personal
feelings. People will often drum up
disagreements on trivial issues to providejustification foran emotional conflict with
another
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The most important kind ofThe most important kind of
bargainingbargaining
Distributive( win-lose)
(also called competitive, zero sum, win-lose orclaiming value)
vs.
Integrative (win-win) (collaborative, win-win orcreating value)
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Distributive (zeroDistributive (zero--sum, winsum, win--lose)lose)
In this kind of bargaining one side winsand one side loses.
Dominant strategies in this mode includemanipulation, forcing, and withholding
information.
This version is also called claiming value
since the goal in this type of situation is toincrease yourown value and decreaseyouropponents
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Integrative (collaboration, winIntegrative (collaboration, win--win)win)
Both sides can win. The main concern
here is to maximize joint outcomes.
Dominant strategies in this mode includecooperation, sharing information, and
mutual problem solving.
creating value since the goal here is to
have both sides leave the negotiatingfeeling theyhad greatervalue than before.
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Critical points in integrativeCritical points in integrative
bargainingbargaining
Be clearon what is important to you
Separate people from the problem
Emphasize win-win solution
Focus on interests, not positions Create options formutual gain
Aim foran outcome be based on some objectivestandard
Consider the otherparts situation Know yourBATNA (best alternative to a
negotiated alternative.
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The most common failureThe most common failure
The most common failure is the failure of
negotiating parties to recognize (orsearch
for) the integrative potential in a
negotiating problem
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Otherelements that affectOtherelements that affect
negotiationnegotiation
Intangibles that are key factors in manynegotiations:
1. Personalities:
understanding yourself is an importantfactor(such as yourown needs andinterpersonal style)
How muchyou trust the person How free are you withyouremotion
How muchyou want to conceal orreveal
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ContdContd
2. Physical space:
Where the negotiation takes place can beimportant are we negotiating in a spacewe are uncomfortable with and the other iscomfortable?
3. Past interaction:
if there is a history of conflict resolutionwith the person, think about the historythat might affect the upcoming negotiation
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ContdContd
4. Time pressure:
Think about whether time pressure willaffect the negotiation and whetheryouneed to try to change this variable?
5. Subjective utility:
Be aware that people place very different
values on elements of a negotiation ( youhave to find out what is valued is one ofthe key factors of negotiation
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Your job as a champion negotiatorYour job as a champion negotiator
Your job is to settle things outof court and without violence.
A champion negotiator is theadvocate to represent an
opposing party. They try to getleverage or better terms in the
negotiations
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What sets champion negotiatorsWhat sets champion negotiators
from the rest?from the rest? They create win-win situation.
They aim to win at the negotiating table, with theopposing party still smiling and broadly feeling that theyhave also won.
They are: reasonable.
practical,
not too emotional,
knowledgeable about the issues involved,
not given to violence, open-minded,
firm in theirprinciples.
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What is a winWhat is a win--win situation?win situation?
Two ormore parties COMMUNICATE to reach
an AGREEMENT in which all parties feel their
NEEDS are satisfied and all parties are
COMMITTED to follow through, based on afoundation of common and opposing
INTERESTS, and aimed at maintaining or
enhancing the RELATIONSHIP.
Win-win is an attitude not an
outcome.
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When negotiation meetsWhen negotiation meets
persuasionpersuasion
Negotiation involves reaching a win-winagreement where both parties walk away feelingtheyhave won.
In persuasion: it is the art of getting people togo along withyourpoint of view. You simply getpeople to see it yourway.
One best way to persuade others is withyourears-by listening to them.
Negotiation involves persuasion, persuasion involves negotiation
both thrive on open communication
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The message and the peopleThe message and the people
involvedinvolved
The message contains the groups main
points. The negotiatormust not only be
able to express the message ,but also
embody it.
The negotiatorand the client must be clear
and unified on the message that they want
to convey.
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Negotiators carrying a messageNegotiators carrying a message
1. The message represents the desires
of both parties and the object of
negotiation
2. Based on principle that you believe
in (your deep intellectual and emotional
belief strengthens the message
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ContdContd
3. Yourmessage must be clearin your
mind before it becomes clear in anothers
mind. Truth has a way in presenting itself.
4. Truthhas a built-in mechanism that
leads to an organized presentation
5. Safe and tested (delivera message
that is fitting to common standards of
soundness and good reason.
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ContdContd
6. Concise yet solid: deliverthe notion
that you cant be stopped no matterwhat,
so they will take you seriously and listen to
what you have to say.
Combination of confidence, seriousness
and determination
7. straight to the point: The more words
,the less the meaning.
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Personalities across the negotiatingPersonalities across the negotiating
tabletable
The child negotiator
The adult negotiator
The parent negotiator
The good negotiator
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The child negotiatorThe child negotiator
He/she tends to simplify everything
He is prone to dishing out instant
recommendations providing short-termsolutions. And disdains long drawn-out
procedures.
When further investigation is called for, he
backs out and is the first one to cry foul.
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The adult negotiatorThe adult negotiator
Takes on a seeminglymature outlook.
He/she can not tolerate anything
immature ,often at odds with the child
negotiator. Can be trusted withhis
judgments ,but would nevercommit to
anything beyond being a negotiator.
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The parent negotiatorThe parent negotiator
He is fond of lecturing, scolding and givingimpulsive advice.
He thinks he is in control of the situation
He thinks he is there to be listened to. he believes he has the wisdom and the last
word to say. He treats others as children. he isoften a difficult person to be with. he acts as if
he knows everything, but in realityhe is oftenlost and confused about the actual events takenplace.
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The good negotiatorThe good negotiator
He is a combination of all the positive
sides of all of the above.
Humble, teachable and willing to listen asa child,
firm as an adult, and sure of what he
stands for.
He wants to end things happily, with
everybody being a winner.
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A winning message must agreeA winning message must agree
with the right contextwith the right context
Context within a:
1. Person context
2. Time context
3. place context
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Person contextPerson context
A. Mature negotiator) Is he mature enough ifso, you have the issue half-solved.
B. Level of understanding: design yourmessage to the opposing sides ability tounderstand.
C. Tolerance: resolving conflict is rarely aboutwho is right ,its about acknowledgement andappreciation of differences. Tolerance is
readiness to accept differences. D. Emotional stability: difficult to negotiate withsomeone affected by the situation. Whenemotions are subsided you sayyourpiece.
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Time contextTime context
When exactly did the conflict start?
If fordecades, then people are simply notinterested in putting an end to it.
You have to think twice before youchoose to stand up foran age-long issue.
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Place contextPlace context
The virtue of being truthful will work
wonders. truthhas the built-in feature of
settling in the minds of people.
Ifyou dont want someone to ask for
something you can not offerdont lead
them to that area of discussion.
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How to become a championHow to become a champion
negotiatornegotiator
1. Developing a charisma
2. Effective preparation
3. Developing communication andpersuasion skills.
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Ways of developing an awesomeWays of developing an awesome
charisma.charisma.
How do you project awesome charisma?
Improve your handshake; make people feel
good and secured when they shake yourhand.
Keep smiling: ifhe smiles back, keep smiling
longer fora few seconds.
Address your counterpart by their name
(a name is the sweetest music in a personsears.)
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ContdContd
Examine yourself in the mirror( how are
you dressed up.
Be interested in other peopleshobbies, activities and other interests.
Develop a great sense of humor.
Exert effort to make everyone you meetfeel exceptional
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ContdContd
Tilt your head slightly: it is a basic bodylanguage skill that shows whether theperson is paying attention , it means he is
listening carefully. Establish instant rapport, think of people
as nice ,people you would like to know
Be generous in giving complimentsfrom the heart, it makes people happy.
Be aware of peoples emotions
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Common sense strategies inCommon sense strategies in
effective preparationeffective preparation
Be clearin what you want.
Foresee the otherpartys
Study what the other party wants andpoints that they consideras nonnegotiable
Avoid negotiating stances that others
might find offensive and inflexible. Focus on the solution
Have an exit strategy
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Simple ways toSimple ways to meltmelt the hardthe hard--lineline
position of the opposite camp.position of the opposite camp.
M: make a connection by smiling and an
open posture
E: eye contact you establish a bond by ahandshake and an eye contact.
L: Lean forward, this conveys agreement
and appreciation of views expressed
T: touch ,it establishes the necessary
action ( MELT)
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Developing communication andDeveloping communication and
persuasion skillspersuasion skills
1. No one wants to be perceived as wrong:
Nevergive the impression that the opposing
partyhas the monopoly over the wrong ideas.
2. Incorporate your own idea to their: allow
them to take credit foryour ideas.
3. Be polite: dont use harsh words
4.Think before you speak: it may damage therelationship ifyou dont
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Know YourHot ButtonsKnow YourHot Buttons
Exercise: List the last 3 times you felt someone pressedyour Hot Button.
Subject
discussed
Who pushed
your
buttons?
Why did you feel
manipulated?
Next time I
will..