Cooper, P - Depression & Unitive Experience, (2002) 89 Psychoanalytic Review 413

THE PERVASION OF THE OBJECT:DEPRESSION AND UNITIVE EXPERIENCE

Paul C. Cooper

PERVASIVE OBJECT TRANSFERENCE

Kleinian formulations posit both good and bad primitivemother representations. Through projective/introjective cycles,the individual ideally integrates both sets of representations intoa more stable and cohesive object world accompanied by a moreor less stable I-sense (Cooper, 1998) with both good andbad aspects. Klein (1935) asserts that bad objects derive fromthe subjects murderous impulses that are projected into themother. She writes: But it is because the baby projects its ownaggression on to these objects that it feels them to be bad andnot only in that they frustrate its desires: the child conceives ofthem as actually dangerouspersecutors who it fears will devour,scoop out the inside of its body, cut it to pieces, poison itinshort, compassing its destruction by all the means which sadismcan devise (p. 262). Thus, for Klein, these images become grossdistortions of the actual object that come to populate the sub-jects internal and external worlds. According to Klein, these dis-tortions derive from the infants primitive projective processes.Klein (1935) describes these early cycles as momentous (p.267) in that they exert a significant impact on the internalizationand integration of ones psychic structure. Klein implicates re-strictions in the projective/introjective processes with themost severe psychosis. This underscores the importance of pro-jective/introjective processes in normal development. Althoughnot negating this crucial aspect of projection in the developmentof the infants internal object world, this view fails to take ac-count of the actuality of the mothers projection of her own bad

Psychoanalytic Review, 89(3), June 2002 2002 N.P.A.P.

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objects and sadistic impulses into the infant. This issue will beexplored here.

This article elaborates one idiosyncratic permutation of pro-jective/introjective cycles initiated by the object. This formula-tion sheds light on a specific spectrum of depressive symptomsaccompanied by a specific, consistent, and tenacious transfer-ence/countertransference dynamic. The latter can best be de-scribed as object pervasion and manifests in analysis in what Irefer to as pervasive object transference. Object pervasion hasbeen discussed tangentially elsewhere in a different context. Inthat communication, I wrote, regarding a blurring of boundariesbetween an analysand and myself:

This experience of both Adam and myself as mother representsa blurring of boundaries. . . . One manifestation of this blurringof boundaries took the form of what we describe as a pervasiveobject transference. With certain patients . . . at certain times inthe treatment the affect becomes and is the expression of theobject representation. The treatment situation becomes one inwhich both patient and therapist become and experience them-selves as the object; for the patient everyone and everything si-multaneously becomes the object. Interpretation during thisphase of treatment requires recognition of this perceptual stateand accompanying physical sensations, behaviors, feelings andthoughts. (Cooper, 1999, p. 77)

Object pervasion addresses the destructive force and the en-suing damage to the nascent self related to both the fantasy andthe actuality of the object. These processes can go awry, due tothe mothers pathological projective excesses associated with alack of reverie (Bion, 1970). At its most insidious level, objectpervasion saturates psychic space and leaves no starting pointfor self-experiencing or no room for nascent self-experiencingto evolve. Thus the capacity for what Eigen (1999) describes asprimary aliveness becomes severely, if not irreparably, dam-aged. At the extreme, the experience of no-self becomes con-cretized and extremely resistant to movements of any kind. Psy-chotic depression ensues as symptomatic of extreme objectpervasion. The high level of toxic psychic saturation spills outand colors the entire environment and includes the analyst.Thus both subject and object merge into and come to be experi-

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enced as the pervasive object. The space and time of the therapysession can also become manifestations of this dreaded and all-engulfing object.

The notion of object pervasion derives from clinical expe-rience with psychotically depressed patients in the light of psy-choanalytic and Buddhist principles. Specifically, the Kleinianunderstanding of projective identification and the Buddhist un-derstanding of the identity of the relative and the absolute (Su-zuki, 1999, p. 28) shed light on this particular variation of unitiveexperiencing.

PSYCHOANALYTIC CONSIDERATIONS

Klein posits an early aggression that evokes guilt, hence exces-sive attachment. This hypothesis assumes or implies an exclu-sively internal dynamic within the subject. It is as if the motherhas no role to play in this process of skewed development exceptto provide the instances of frustration that, according to Klein,engender the childs perception of a bad object. This stancefurther assumes that the mother is free of such attachments her-self.

Green (1986), for instance, postulates the objects bereave-ment (p. 149). I would extend this observation to include theobjects trauma, not necessarily bereavement. In the cases I haveobserved that fall into the spectrum of object pervasion, withoutexception the mother experienced severe trauma. Furthermore,the psychic aspects of the trauma were not treated. Rather, theywere split off from awareness and rigidly if not vehemently disa-vowed. Traumata included Holocaust survival, accidental blind-ness, early object loss through death, sexual exploitation, rape,incest, and prolonged ongoing physical and/or emotional abuse.

In analysis, excessive projection by the subject accounts forelements of object pervasion. This situation requires attentionthrough careful monitoring of countertransference states andcareful interpretations. However, excessive and continuous satu-ration through the objects projection and actual interactionswith the subject, the subjects introjection, and the latters lackof any capacity to halt further saturation contribute further tothe process of pervasion.

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Klein (1935) notes: According to Freud and Abraham, thefundamental process in melancholia is the loss of the loved ob-ject. The real loss of a real object, or some similar situation hav-ing the same significance, results in the object being installedwithin the ego. Owing, however, to an excess of cannibalisticimpulses in the subject, this introjection miscarries and the con-sequence is illness (p. 263). On the contrary, in the case of ob-ject pervasion, there exists too much object. That is, the experi-ence of the object becomes internalized and reified orconcretized within the subject. In the absence of healthy projec-tive/introjective cycles, the fluidity of relational experience be-comes lost. The brittleness and rigidity in relations reflect defi-ciencies and disruptions of projective/introjective cyclesbetween the infant and the primary object. What self that re-mains available for presentation to the analyst is typically experi-enced as brittle, shallow, stifled, inflexible, prone to sudden frag-mentation, and subject to highly restrictive repetitive and limitedcycles of self-experience and relatedness. The subjects sense ofself becomes lost. In this respect, depression can be conceptual-ized as symptomatic or indicative of the empty space where aself and the associated thought processes and affects should havebeen. This sense of nothingness as a psychic location manifestsas depression: depressive symptoms, in actuality, empty, nothing(No I thing), a dead void, a black hole. When no-thing is there,depression might come to be experienced as normal. Momentsof joy, pleasure, feeling, and the authentic attention of a genu-inely interested other feel alien. Attention, not buffered, attenu-ated, or mediated through the pathologizing lens of the internal-ized persecutory object, quickly mobilizes anxietylife anxiety.The latter creates a quick and sudden flight back to depression.Its time to pick up ones marbles and go home. The normalrange of feelings that one experiences in the normal flow of rela-tions might be misconstrued as manic, as the empty space de-void of affect one has come to know as normal becomes a safehaven. Thus one rests safely, albeit painfully, in the numbness ofdepression without the capacity to suffer ones pain (Bion,1970, p. 19).

Yet shifts in perspective to a spiritual/mystical paradigmcan attribute to this gap the potential for being anything and


everything. Nominal becomes phenomenal. Formless infiniteevolves into something definite. An infinite universe includes auniverse of possibilities. What Bion tracks as O (ultimateTruth) becoming through transformations of K (knowledge).It represents nothing and has a way of becoming everything(Rhode, 1994, p. 72).

The lack of an adequate supporting psychic structure resultsin this space collapsing in on itself. A state of internal suffoca-tion ensues, with psychic deadness as a predominant symptom.1

Thus there is not enough of a self to mobilize the cannibalisticimpulses that Klein posits. The object takes over in a parasitic(Bion, 1970) relationship to its host. Any bits and pieces of selfthat might appear are immediately devoured both by the inter-nal object and, if present, by the real external object in actuality.At the stage of object pervasion, cannibalism initiated by the sub-ject would be a welcome development because it would clearaway space for the self to become active, to emerge, and then tooccupy. What might be initially perceived as destructive, not un-like the tilling of the soil, must by necessity precede fertility.Such efforts occur in sporadic spurts. The ongoing cannibalismin such patients can reflect the birth of a self or efforts to repelor counteract object pervasion. When pervasion subsides, theretypically occurs a period of starvation reflected in the subjectsefforts to restrict dietary intake, lose weight, and, in the extreme,starve oneself.

Anna, for example, ate only one meal a day. This mealwould always be the same without variation. This dietary restric-tion went on for several months. Analysis revealed reaction-for-mations to self-initiated cannibalistic urges, efforts to starve outthe parasite, efforts to purify ones insides, in preparation to re-ceive the good object/analyst, or to liberate psychic space fromoccupation and exploitation. Religious dietary restriction, as willbe discussed later, might serve the same purpose.

For Beth, the implications of toxicity became so intense thatshe would bag feces and soiled toilet paper in a plastic bag anddispose of it outside her home. She perceived the plumbing inher home as part of her insides. Cara would consistently moveher bowels before our sessions so as to leave her toxic insidesoutside the consultation room. Delia, on the other hand, would

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move her bowels after each session. Among the many symbolicmeanings for Delias behavior that emerged during analysis, theone most significant to this discussion centered on her feelingthat she could give birth to a self in the womb/room providedby analysis. However, fetus, through shifts in perspective, be-comes feces, something poisonous and dangerous that must beremoved before it destroys the good object (analyst, office,womb). Or, as an act of aggression, in support of an emergingself, Delia could plant what is toxic in my insides (plumbing).

In terms of structural theory, the subject becomes, underadverse conditions, all superego, constituted solely of introjectedbad objects and object fragments. The latter, at the extreme, par-asitically colonize, exploit, and denude the subjects (hosts) in-ner landscape. The subject becomes an unwitting host for whatis split off and/or disavowed in the object. Sara, who will bediscussed in detail later, becomes a host, for example, for hermothers aggressive and sadistic colonization of her psychicspace, in which case the I-sense is crushed, immobilized, ornever developed. The remnants or vestiges of self live in a psy-chic ghetto, which is reflected in the external world in suchways as self-isolation, starvation (food, social contacts, emotions),substandard living conditions, and a neurologically impairedbody/mind.

Does Sara see her mother as all bad exclusively because ofexcessive projection of her sadism? Does Klein ignore the depen-dently arising2 possibility that some mothers are bad? Suchmothers might be stuck in an early primitive state. Mother hasscooped-out Saras insides to make room for herself, a womb/room that gets activated during sessions when Sara asserts: Iwant to climb inside of you, be inside of you where I will be safefrom harm. On the other hand, her expressions might reflectcries or pleas from a self desperately attempting to be born. Shedesires a safe environment to incubate and be born from.

Such individuals are unable to freely and spontaneously usethe space/time of the session creatively. The room (womb) andtime (gestation period) remain empty. They become locked inparanoid-schizoid organizationoscillations derailedliving infragments reflected in disjointed speech, stuttering, dispersedinto infinities of time and space, reflected in silence. Thus the


possibility for psychic birth and wholeness remain foreclosed. Inthis respect, the sessions become failed starting points for birth. . . all that is left is an empty cocoon (personal communicationwith Michael Eigen). Sara alternates between the wish to sit onmy lap and be the suckling babe at her good mothers breastand to sit safely under my chair as discarded feces. On my lapshe is an acceptable infant. Under my chair she is expelled, de-graded waste matter.

Saras assertion, I feel like a lump of shit, however, alsoexpresses the newness of birth. A formless lump, not unlike clay,has formative potential to be the anything and everything, theten thousand things. Simultaneously, her expression reflects amovement from nonexisting to being and the destruction andelimination of what might have been a self, aborted and dis-carded.

Again, careful scrutiny of the patients productions, coupledwith close monitoring of the analysts countertransference re-actions, contributes to making the distinctions necessary for ac-curate and effective interpretations. With regard to object per-vasion, both aspects require simultaneous interpretation to beeffective because the object infects and operates in both analy-sand and analyst simultaneously.

Failures in such psychic processing to accomplish a full inte-gration of good/bad, object/self engender other outcomes. Onthe one hand, for example, a mother with a brittle, rigid, frag-mentation-prone sense of self might attenuate anxiety and medi-ate concern for her child by responding in a controlling, in-trusive, and limiting manner, which the infant experiences assuffocating, sadistic, and punitive. On the other hand, a trulysadistic and toxic mother might be perceived and experiencedby the infant as loving and nourishing despite the toxicity ofthe proffered nourishment. As Ella asserted: She was viscous,destructive, and viperlike in her criticisms, all negating of anoth-ers personhood and being.

THE IDENTITY OF THE RELATIVE AND THE ABSOLUTEThe eighth century Zen poet Sekito Kisen elaborates the rela-tionship between the relative and the absolute in his Sandokai(The Identity of the Relative and the Absolute or The Har-

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mony of Difference and Equality). This poem, which explicatesthe relationship between empirical or relative existence and ulti-mate or absolute reality, responds critically to sectarian disputesbetween rival Zen Buddhist schools along with fundamental,Taoist, and Zen themes and follows a pattern of distinguishingfirst discontinuity, then continuity, and finally complementarity(Wenger, 1999, p. 15). According to Wenger, during the periodwhen this poem was written, Zen was experiencing a trend awayfrom philosophical, conceptual analysis and toward direct ex-perience through the practice of zazen, or sitting meditation.Direct experience through various aspects of Zen discipline, in-cluding zazen, koan study, and encounters with a Zen master,chronicles the fluidity of perceptual movements between iden-tity and separateness.

The following excerpt is from Suzukis translation of Kisenspoem:

In the light there is darkness.But dont take it as darkness;In the dark there is light,But dont see it as light.Light and dark oppose one anotherLike the front and back foot in walking

(Suzuki, 1999, p. 21)

From the Buddhist perspective, the identity of the relativeand the absolute addresses the simultaneity of both dualistic andunitive aspects of experiencing. Suzuki (1999) writes: We areboth one and two (p. 40). This notion serves as a useful andneutral way to talk about merged states that necessarily occur inthe psychoanalytic situation without the negative connotationthat is frequently attributed to the term merger. When unitiveexperiencing is in the ascendance, the analyst becomes saturatedwith the pervasive object, as does the patient. However, whendualistic experiencing ascends, the analyst can then communi-cate this experience in a usable form as an interpretation. Lan-guage both requires and creates definition and distinctions be-tween what aspects of experience are chosen for articulation andwhat remains unstated, hence formless. The patient, withoutenough of an I-sense for dualistic experiencing to return, relies


on the analyst to restore or engender a feeling of I-sense or tocreate enough space for I-sense to appear in the analysandthrough the analysts interpretive expression, whether that beconveyed through language or silence. Thus the projective iden-tification is fed back to the analysand in a digestible and usableform. This feeds and nourishes the nascent I-sense or at leasttemporarily clears away the pervasion. An underlying masochis-tic love or imagined need for the object invites its return.

Extreme nihilism, a perceptual error of overnegation of self,results in the experience of no-self. Depression emerges as asymptom of the nihilistic obliteration of self and points to thespace where a self might have been. In my own practice and indiscussion with colleagues, the pervasion of the object seems toappear more frequently in women than in men. Without excep-tion, women describe an emotionally unavailable father or awimp. On the one hand, the situation for men with an absentfather creates an all-too-easy oedipal victory and contributes to abrittle false self, but a self none the less. The woman, on theother hand, without the intervention of a strong fatheror atleast the fantasy of a strong fatherto buffer the narcissistic de-mands of the mother, suffers an Electric defeat. The impover-ished self becomes more vulnerable to further saturation by themothers needs. No support exists to mediate I-sense. In a sense,through intense and primitive introjective processes, the child,without a strong enough psychic structure to contain the moth-ers primitive affects and projections, without the psychic equip-ment to support reverie, digestion, and return, becomes wipedout, overrun, destroyed. Nothing remains for I-sense to developfrom. This results in a characterological melange of uninte-grated, fragmented, primitive mother introjects, which then de-termine the subjects mode-of-being in the world and associatedI-sense. Virtually no capacity exists to mediate affect states. Over-medication frequently becomes a preferred alternative to psy-chic structure. Varying states of deadness ensue. The analystmust direct attention toward detecting manifestations of objectpervasion in both crude and microscopic forms. The latter mani-fest in affect, thought, word, action, and attitude experiencedand expressed both verbally and nonverbally by both analyst and

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analysand. An overemphasis on the subjects I-sense will obstructthis process. Thus the patient might be deemed as unanalyz-able. The following case details the concepts discussed thus far.

SARAS JOURNEY

Sara entered treatment at the age of twenty-eight with com-plaints of depression and acute anxiety precipitated by the sud-den and unexpected loss of her job. However, as she describedit, I have been feeling depressed most of my life. Sara stuttersand has received speech therapy for her condition. The inci-dence and intensity of her stuttering have decreased significantlyand eventually stopped since the start of treatment. She typicallyspeaks in an emotionally flat, almost mechanical voice that be-comes inaudible at times. The initial phase of Saras analysis,which at the time of this writing is in its fourteenth year, wascharacterized by an almost exclusive emphasis on her self-states.She initiated this dynamic by an ongoing query: Am I stupid,lazy, worthless? The unrelenting and abusive tenor of her con-tinuous queries functioned as an initial expression of object per-vasion that at the time escaped my understanding. However, asthe analysis deepened, this particular style of relatedness, the ac-companying locus of attention, and the associated affect statesreflected specific familial interaction patterns that eventuallyemerged in the treatment. That is, her stated self-perceptions,both real and unrealistic, served as an outline for the narrowparameters that would ensure a minimal object tie, despite theinadequacy and toxic nature of the connection. The price of re-latedness left her feeling suspended on what she described as athin tightrope, ever anxious of failing and falling.

Sara, now forty-two, recently completed her undergraduatedegree. Her education was delayed by serious neurological im-pairments that compromise her ability to function in academic,work, and social environments. She suffers from a variety ofimpairments and has been diagnosed as learning disabled. Herdisabilities appear in the form of short-term memory deficits,visual-motor integration delays, distractibility, and perseverativebehavior and thought. She is somewhat clumsy in her move-ments, tends toward extremes, and becomes highly anxious and


disorganized when there is any loss of predictability in her envi-ronment. She presents in a rather needy and cautious way andprefers (demands) that I be the one who knows. She is used tocompliance bordering on subjugation and finds herself terrifiedby the freedom I offer her without knowing what I expect ofher. Therapy is an invitation to step off of the tightrope. How-ever, she is fearful of stepping out on the thin ice of new experi-ence. She fears falling into the abyss of depression. She wouldrather know exactly what I want, do it, and be done with it.

Sara, the second oldest of four sisters, grew up in an upper-middle-class Jewish community. Her parents, of Western Euro-pean Jewish descent, are both well educated. Her father main-tains a successful professional practice. Her mother, who obtaineda degree in early childhood education, runs the office for herhusband. Her sisters are highly gifted intellectually. They all holdadvanced college degrees, are married, and have children. Saracannot compete with her sisters. This has been a lifelong sourceof humiliation, frustration, envy, anger, and guilt. Her experi-ence of her two younger sisters surpassing her motorically, intel-lectually, and socially during childhood has seriously compro-mised her self-esteem. She could not compete with them for herparents attention or interest and often feels invisible at familygatherings. Sara fears losing my attention. She laments: You willreject me for being boring, lazy, stupid, and too slow. You willbe more interested in your other patients. They are more at-tractive, more intelligent, more interesting to be with. I am aworthless lump of shit. You will replace me.

Until about two years into the treatment, Saras parents sub-sidized her rental apartment. She hid this fact during her initialintake interview and as a result she obtained acceptance for low-fee treatment. Although Sara denies any conscious intent on herpart, she consistently and effectively uses her helplessness to heradvantage. She frequently creates situations where she can be-come dependent and be taken care of. For example, she cur-rently lives in subsidized housing and receives an array of disabil-ity benefits. She reponds with resentment to situations in whichshe is required to take care of herself. She resents me for, as shesays, putting things back on me. She becomes enraged whenany caregiving or attention is withdrawn.

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During a period of treatment, Sara became enraged withme for refusing to take her constant telephone calls. My insis-tence that Sara leave promptly at the end of our sessions evokedintense rage, unrelenting demands, and increasing pressuresthat I experienced as inappropriate intrusions. Her expressionsof extreme helplessness to the point of immobilization felt likesadistic attacks. I was not aware of it at the time, but these cameto be understood as manifestations of object pervasion. That is,Sara would experience me like her withholding and sadisticmother. Simultaneously, I would experience her as her pressur-ing, intrusive, sadistic, and demanding mother.

Spiritual Dimensions

Sara is the only member of her present extended family tofollow an orthodox Jewish tradition. Spiritual practice and reli-gious involvement provide an external structure in the absenceof a cohesively developed internal psychic structure. This struc-ture also functions in part as a defense against anxiety-provokingaffect states that seriously threaten Saras fragile sense of being.However, she finds herself stuck in an extremely brittle archaicposition that severely limits her functioning in virtually everyarea of her life.

Careful scrutiny of the way an individual approaches spiri-tual practices in general and identification of specific aspects ofa tradition that the individual becomes involved with can helpclarify both adaptive and defensive uses of the particular tradi-tion for the individual. For instance, Sara involved herself in arigidly defined (more so by Sara than by any dogma, creed, orteacher) orthodoxy in the Jewish tradition. Her rabbi would fre-quently admonish Sara to lighten up when she would seek hisadvice. She consciously understood her belief and accompanyingpractices as an attempt to get closer to her unavailable father.She also became aware of her identification with an idealizedimage of her maternal grandmother, whom she viewed as hold-ing the family together. In this sense, religious observancescould hold Sara together. Her grandmother, now deceased, wasa person who, in Saras words, always remained strong in her


convictions. Unconsciously, the external structures of her prac-tice, which Sara dutifully performed, also functioned as a ration-alized voice of support for her healthy autonomous strivingsfrom her mother, whom Sara described as harsh, domineering,controlling, sadistic, hypercritical, opinionated, and engulfing.Mom, according to Sara, made me feel small, tiny, worthless,and invisible. At times Sara would cease to exist.

Sitting with Sara frequently induces sadistic feelings in me.Unconscious anger then manifests in a feeling of withholding.Retrospectively, the withholding would usually be appropriate.However, my sadistic feelings would linger. I later came to un-derstand these feelings in the context of object pervasion and,upon articulation, they would dissipate. They diminished consis-tently as Sara was able to articulate her aggression and rage. Atother times, I would feel removed from the situation. Initially, Irationalized this stance as related to my growing capacity for ob-jective neutrality and in the best interest of the treatment. Later,we discovered that Saras parents would both withhold from herand make similar rationalizations. For example, Saras motherwould not talk to her for weeks at a time. Although her motherwas of the opinion that withholding was in Saras best interest,such a stance would frequently have disastrous consequences.For example, her mothers refusal to sign a document thatwould guarantee Saras rent resulted in the loss of her apart-ment.

Sara could rely on Judaic law to protect herself from hermothers intense narcissistic demands and toxic saturation ofher psychic space, which threatened Saras healthy movementstoward engendering an I-sense. She could safely argue with hermother and express anger, disappointment, and other forbiddenfeelings. More important, Sara could assert her own tenuoussense of uniqueness, individuality, and independence throughevoking Judaic dietary Sabbath rules and restrictions. For exam-ple, Sara found it easier to say, No, I cant travel after sun-down, than, No, I really dont want to see you, or, No, Iwont let you put me up as your punching bag in front of thewhole family. She could turn down a dinner invitation easier bysaying, No, I cant eat in that restaurant, its not kosher, than

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by saying, No, I wont take in more of your toxicity or let youhumiliate me in public, or, No, I dont want you intruding intomy diet, stomach, digestive track.

Her father, whom Sara described as a wimp, was not emo-tionally equipped or available to perform this much-needed pro-tective function for Sara, her three sisters, or himself. He tendsto withdraw into his work or into denials. He prefers to stick tothe facts and details rather than to relate to any feelings. AsSara exclaims, feelings are not appropriate, they only get in theway. This form of emotionally flat reporting of the facts charac-terized the treatment for many years and would often feel dead-ening. Not unlike her father, Sara can easily get lost in details.Sometimes I would find myself letting her and would spaceout. She would then become quite anxious when I would bringher attention to the distracting quality of such maneuvers. How-ever, this rigid style of relatedness defines the narrow limits ofher feeling of connection to father, mother, spiritual practices,and me. For example, the family-oriented synagogue or my inter-pretations become a critical mother. She needs to endure thecriticism, real or imagined. Even bad connections can createminimal sparks of life. Mother simultaneously enlivens and de-stroys her. Object pervasion, not unlike alcohol, initially enlivensbut ultimately depresses through oversaturation and intoxica-tion.

When Sara participated in family gatherings, she would be-come extremely fussy about food preparations, bring her owncooking utensils, call her mother beforehand to determine thesource of the ingredients, and then call her rabbi or others inher community to verify that they were kosher. At other times,she simply would refuse to eat. She remained inflexible and thuscould assert her existence and individuality and prevent furtherinvasion. However, her self-assertion would be met with criticismand belittling and would result in humiliation, fragmentation,and withdrawal.

Saturation with the critical mother destroys nascent buds ofpsychic structure and leaves a barren, lifeless landscape, which isexperienced as depression. Fragments remain as the destructionprocess becomes internalized, thus ensuring that no I-sense willdevelop. Excess fragments become projected into the analyst.


The analyst thus becomes another critical mother with the po-tential to further destroy emerging I-sense emanations throughinterpretations and other communications that might feel likehostile, destructive invasions to the patient.

During the third year of treatment, Sara related a tale fromthe family history. She was a low-weight baby. Because Sara dis-played very little appetite, the family doctor recommended arigid feeding schedule. This included a 2:00 a.m. feeding. Hermother deeply resented this chore. Furthermore, Sara typicallyrefused this nocturnal feeding. Her refusal fueled her mothersanger and resentment. She would storm out of the room, leavingSara awake and alone in the dark. If mother was not going todo the job right, Sara queried, why didnt she just let mesleep? In the present, Sara would frequently experience terrorat the close of our sessions and would have trouble leaving. Shewould also leave multiple messages on my answering machine inthe middle of the night. In this context, it was as if Sara would,on the one hand, be abruptly awakened from her sleep duringthe session by me (intrusive mother) and then suddenly be leftto face the world alone. On the other hand, not unlike her intru-sive mother, she would wake me up in the middle of the night(session), feed me a toxic formula of rage and helplessness, andthen depart.

Through our discussions, it soon became clear that Sara en-gaged exclusively in those aspects of her spiritual practice thatwould enable her to rationalize retreats and to maintain a safedistance from her mother and others whom she would imagineto be critical, judgmental, intrusive, or abusive. Her withdrawalwould not, however, release her from the internal mother. Self-destructive processes would ensue. For example, she would relyon traditional customs to maintain a sense of control with men.On the one hand, she could safely keep a man out of her apart-ment and ward off any emerging sexual impulses. On the otherhand, she could push an interested man away with sudden de-mands for the customary short courtship and a commitment formarriage. This dynamic would manifest during sessions in fluctu-ations between extreme withdrawals and intrusions that wouldleave me feeling either pushed away or running for cover. Theseextreme self-state experiences re-create microscopically Saras

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sense of self in relation to both her father and her mother: Ifeel like I dont exist [father]; I feel inadequate [mother].They can suddenly fluctuate, merge, separate, reverse; I dontexist in your eyes. You dont exist to me. I am inadequate todaddy, he wished for a son. I dont exist in moms eyes. I aman inadequate extension of her. I am her withered arm, andshould be amputated. You are inadequate, you dont helpme. You expect me to be perfect and you demand too muchfrom me. I am a burden to you. I demand too much fromyou. Despite the myriad rapidly fluctuating permutations, ob-ject pervasion remained a consistent theme. The internal motherdemands Saras insides.

With regard to the larger religious community: Shul is forfamilies, she would reiterate, I should be married and havekids, I am not and dont, therefore, I am inadequate and have nobusiness being there. I can remain home and be observant.

During this phase of treatment, Sara would frequentlycrouch down in the corner of the consultation room with herlong, unkempt black hair covering her face, and her face to thewall. On the one hand, she would repeat, You think I am ugly,stupid, too slow. You hate me and just want to get rid of me.On the other hand, she would lunge forward in her seat andrepeatedly ask, Do you think I am stupid? If you dont, thenwhat do you think of me?

This approach to dealing with her anxiety exacerbatedSaras feelings of self-isolation. However, the assumptions driv-ing my therapeutic stance up to this point assumed enough of aself to be, experience, and suffer isolation. Saras self-imposedbanishment becomes an external metaphor for her internalworld. The pervasion of the object banishes whatever aspects ofself might be available, perhaps fragments of what might havebeen a self, dispersed by the intense force of pervasion. As ob-ject occupies psyche, like some alien invasion force, saturation,exploitation, and subjugation leave nothing left to work with.The emotional landscape becomes stripped and plundered ofanything that supports the invaders life while the invader simul-taneously spreads and destroys. As a coping strategy, isolationdid not work for Sara; she found herself feeling lonely, isolated,


and depressed. Relationally, she was repeating a familial interac-tion pattern. Saras mother, as noted earlier, would frequentlynot speak to her for weeks at a time. Sara understood her moth-ers behavior as an expression of rage for various slights, and sheexperienced my silent listening in the same way. I became Sarasangry, withholding mother. Saras only recourse was to lock her-self in her bedroom as a safe haven from her mothers unrelent-ing emotional brutality. Now she was locked up inside herself,lonely, isolated, and frightened.

From the point of view of the pervasion of the object, Iwould respond, You experience me as your withholding moth-er, but you pressure me the way you described that she pres-sured you. We have mom all over the place. It seems essentialto respond to both aspects of the dynamic simultaneously. Bothanalyst and analysand hold aspects of the pervasive object.

During the fourth year of treatment, Sara began to questionher rigidity. She noticed that she did not maintain the samestance with newly found friends. She had a variety of loopholesfor dealing with both her food and Sabbath restrictions. She alsorealized that, for the most part, friends simply did not treat herthe way her mother treated her. Her relation to her religiousexperience also began to shift about this time. For example, shechose to break Passover to keep an important appointment, tostudy for an exam, and to come to therapy. Although she strug-gled with considerable anxiety, guilt, and ambivalence, she real-ized that she did not have to chuck the whole thing. She couldalways go back. She exclaimed, My decision does not mean Iam a hypocrite. Her choice of words is telling and relates to hermothers inappropriate use of Sara in an unconscious effort toaddress narcissistic trauma and associated unresolved issues re-lated to her familys flight from religious persecution whenSaras mother was seven years old. There was no going back, nosecond chance. This wealthy family was forced to start over againas street vendors in New York City. They had chucked the wholething.

Saras needs in relation to her spirituality were changingradically. She said, Blind faith is no longer a requisite for spiri-tual practice. I do not have to swallow the whole thing and feel left

430 PAUL C. COOPER

alone in the dark if I dont. Again, her language points back toher early relationship with her mother with regard to the failedmidnight feedings. In contrast to her strict observance of therules discussed previously, Sara would not participate in thoseaspects of her practice that were more informal and less rigidlydefined. She avoided group activities. For example, she rarelyattended services. When she did, she would not remain for socialactivities with the larger community after the close of the formalworship. She experienced the former as a threat to her self-esteem. The latter were less personal, more predictable, andnot so threatening. She described feeling safely contained byformal worship and prayer.3 Her concerns centered around non-acceptance, criticism, negative judgments, and a resulting feelingthat she does not exist. The whole congregation came to beviewed as bad mothers. The edifice became an engulfing motherthat threatened to swallow up Sara.

Neurological Impairments

Saras need for an external structure to support the growthof a self is further complicated by the reality of severe neurologi-cal impairments. Although obvious even to the casual observer,Saras problems were actively denied by both of her parents intoher adult life. This active and overt denial continues in the pres-ent and takes the form of constant criticisms, pressures, de-mands, threats, and intrusions. On some level, the parents seemto have begun to accept Saras difficulties and recently arrangedfor an apartment for her. However, they prefer to view Sara aslazy, stupid, and exploitative. In fact, this denial is so ingrainedthat when Sara sought remedial help as a young adult and hadbeen formally diagnosed as learning disabled by two indepen-dent diagnosticians, her parents refused to accept the evalua-tion. Since then, Sara has chosen to limit contact with her family.She has qualified for Social Security benefits for the disabled.She was accepted into a special college program for disabled stu-dents and has since graduated. While in attendance, she becamea highly successful tutor of reading and statistics. However, heridentification with her mothers unrelenting criticism became sodeeply embedded in her character that at times she continued


to experience an immobilizing anxiety around this self-identifica-tion as lazy, stupid, small, and at times nonexisting.

Saras neurological impairments required the external struc-ture provided by those aspects of the Judaic tradition that shegravitated toward. She uses certain practices to modulate un-manageable affect states and to attempt to order and organizewhat can be at times a confusing perception of both her innerand outer worlds. For example, daily prayer recitation, whichSara dutifully performs at specific times, has become an integralaspect of her daily practice. Prayer is her meditation. Rare fail-ures to exercise prayer practice would seem to derail her entireday and stir up feelings of inadequacy, failure, guilt, and anxiety.Intense oversaturation of these affect states seems to obliterateany sense of her skills, abilities, and positive sense of herself.At these times, practice becomes another harsh and demandingmother. Mothers presence, both within and without becomesintensely overwhelming. Sara then experiences herself as nonex-istent. Moreover, this I dont exist self can be extremely solid,brittle, and resistant to any loosening.

Pushing Edges

I became aware of and began to question an emerging andconsuming intense desire to change Sara. But I decided to lether be. Could she be exactly who she is in my presence indepen-dently of any activity or lack of any activity (Cooper, 2000)? AsWinnicott (1971) asserts, Doing and being done to. But firstbeing (p. 85). Sara began putting me to the test by pressingthe edges of my offered acceptance. Depression intensified. Shestarted cutting classes, avoiding the synagogue, skipping prayerpractice, and pressuring me for telephone sessions. She spenther days lying in bed or playing electronic games on her com-puter. Her anxiety and guilt intensified. She feared being dis-missed by me: I would shun her, not unlike her mother. Sheexpected me to become impatient and criticize her for beinglazy and stupid. Instead, I expressed an interest in the com-puter games that were occupying her attention. She backed offon herself a bit and said that the games were probably therapeu-tic with regard to visualmotor training and eyehand coordina-

432 PAUL C. COOPER

tion. I agreed but also questioned her need to be rational, practi-cal, and purposeful. The thought that she could simply enjoy thegames just for fun seemed alien and threatening.

Sara talked in a self-deprecating way about the time shespent watching television. Again, I expressed an interest in thetypes of shows that she enjoyed watching. These were light, re-freshing moments in sessions that otherwise felt oppressive andheavy. Time could come to an unbearable halt. Her constantquestioning would draw only a blank from me and I would lether know. Sara would say, Why am I like this? I would re-spond, I dont know. She would press, Why dont you answerme? I would respond, I am drawing a blank. She continuedunrelentingly and experienced my lack of articulate responsive-ness and cold and withholding. I would feel pressured and bat-tered by her seeming helplessness.

This dynamic, which persisted throughout the therapy in anintractable way, diminished upon interpretation of the pervasiveobject dimension of the transference. I said, You experienceme as your harsh and withholding mother, yet you pressure methe same way you described to me that she pressures you. Itseems that mother takes over in these moments. The roomlightened up. Sara visibly relaxed. There was a sigh of relief. Theheavy, oppressive feeling in the air evaporated.

Diving into the Abyss

However, this interpretation of the pervasive object trans-ference had inadvertently cut loose, for the moment, an anchora toxic anchor, but an anchor none the less. Sara describedherself as floating or falling down into an abyss that seemed bot-tomless. I was tempted to break her falla reaction to my ownanxiety. (Perhaps this was an identification with mothers anxi-ety. Mother would not let Sara go too far away from her, despiteher seemingly paradoxical demand that Sara take care of her-self.) Realizing this mix of both real and induced anxiety, I main-tained my stance and allowed her fall. I simply let her be. Fallingis fine if that is what is occurring. Why place a negative value onit? Reversals in perspective challenge the negative assumption(Rhode, 1997).


Sara could be plummeting into a psychic death or througha birth canal and into life. She might test the limits of toleranceof psychic death and deadening processes or give birth to a self.Both might occur in rapid oscillation at speeds too dizzying foraccurate perception. Life and death intertwined. The simultane-ous death of aspects and birth of others constitutes essentialmovements of fluid psychic processes (Eigen, 1998). For nowSara was floating in an abyss/birth canal. If I acted on my needfor security, it would deprive Sara of her experience. Wherewould she land? Would she land? Perhaps she would fall end-lessly and disappear forever. Like the incredible shrinking man,she would disappear into infinity, or into the dark hole of her-self, or into the space where a self might have been. Almost envi-ous, I became fascinated with her fall into infinity, and asked herto share it with me. We began falling together. What appears asbottomless is also new and unknown, and holds the potential forsomething creative to evolve. Something was stirring up. Sud-denly, Sara landed.

Suppose I went for a walk in the park during my break,read a book, went over to the museum? That would not makeme a terrible person, would it? Something new was occurring,despite its inextricable intertwining with early transference mani-festations and an associated anxiety. Perhaps the latter were as-pects of afterbirth and simply needed to be cleared away. Couldroom be made for this nascent self? Or would their weedlikeproliferation once more ensure and suffocate the possibilities ofselfhood out of Sara? The pervasion of the object is insidiousand unrelenting. I once again become a withholding and harshrejecting mother while Sara begins to actively press into me inthe same way she describes her mothers intrusions. For in-stance, an exclusive focus on Saras sense of self, which she de-scribed as not existing, began to dominate the discussion. Sararepeatedly complained of non existing. This not-existing self hasbecome very solidself reified to a nihilistic extreme. This no-self fills up the room, swallows me up. She wants me to swallowher up. She wants to crawl inside of me where it will be safe.Birth has become terrifying and dangerous. The womb feelssafer, despite its paranoid-schizoid dynamics. She beats me upwith her helplessness, neediness, and terror. I have lost sight of

434 PAUL C. COOPER

any situational dynamics and of myself. None of my validationshave any impact. Sara spits them out like unwanted food in themiddle of the night. Like her mother, she rejects me out ofhand. She demands my help and refuses it at the same time. Canshe have an impact on me? Will it take an explosion? If so, whowill be left to respond? Fragments fly everywhere, dissolving intothe abyss of her dark, bottomless center.

Sara cannot associate or tap into any fantasy. The prospectseems much too dangerous and leads only to nonverbal regres-sion and dissociation (she has no recollection of her rage reac-tions, which she finds extremely disconcerting). Emerging trans-ference and countertransference dynamics remain neglected oroverlooked. Yet they are intense and vividly clear. I have blindedmyself to the unitive experience and resist merger with thisprimitive, persecuting mother through expressions of overt sar-casm and intense sleepiness (Kohut, 1971). Treatment bound-aries become obliterated. Sara owes me too much money. Shecalls me frequently on the telephone. She has trouble leaving atthe end of sessions and tries to intrude into the next patientssession. She has burned her way through the treatment con-tainer like hot coals in a paper cup. We have engendered andnegotiated a difficult birth. We have a mess to clean up.

From the perspective of the idealizing transference (Kohut,1971), Sara relies on the function of anchoring and containing.By my failure to provide this function, through inadvertently ex-cessive gratification (telephone calls, unpaid fees, breaking thetime frame), Sara is cast adrift on an ocean of despair. Mean-while, I am feeling enraged, battered, and out of control. I can-not tolerate anything about her. Her physical appearance be-comes repulsive to me. Sara intrudes into my life, my thoughts,my dreams, and my own analytic sessions. I am also feeling help-less. Any move on my part would, I imagine, feel like a sadisticretaliation, regardless of whether it really is. I am beginning toenjoy her pain. I remain silent and cut Sara off in the same wayshe described that her mother would as an expression of heranger and displeasure: She wouldnt talk to me for weeks at atime. Yet I feel what Sara describes it is like to be so over-whelmed by motherspeechless, helpless, like a piece of drift-wood floating on a vast and turbulent ocean of mother. Intense


rage builds up. Rage, best managed in the treatment, spills outto various service providers. At one point, Sara almost gets ar-rested. Not unlike my container, the security of her subsidizedresidency is jeopardized. Sara becomes filled with anxiety. Shecan vent her rage at these various service providers, but not atme. She will drown me and lose me in the process. She willdrown. Her affective life is shut down in an effort to maintainher connection to me (Atwood & Stolorow, 1984).

Identification and Awareness

Initially, Sara could not tolerate any conscious sense of iden-tification with her mother. This first became apparent when Sararelayed a conversation that she had during a breakup with a manshe had been dating. She mobilized enormous confidence andstrength to deal with a man who was actively abusive toward her.Her strength and confidence were amazing to me. This also castlight on her need to present to me as helpless. However, myobservation to Sara that she might possess some of her mothersgood or useful qualities was so unsettling to her that any con-scious aspects were actively and immediately split off. Now thisidentification with her mother was once again in the ascendancein relation to me. Once we began to actively address the identifi-cation in the here and now, the situation changed. To summa-rize a series of sessions:

No wonder you feel like you dont exist; mom is all over the placeand there is no room for you. You experience me like your cold,angry, cutting-off, withholding mother who doesnt take care ofyou. I dont return your calls, I cut back your sessions until youpay your bills, and I insist that you leave promptly at the end ofthe sessions. On the other hand, you treat me the very same wayyou say she treats you.

Within a few weeks the treatment stabilized. In retrospect,although my perception of feeling states and experiences wasquite vivid, until the actual familial interaction patterns unfoldedin the transference and countertransferencespecifically, thepervasive object transferencethe treatment remained at an im-passe. Saras expectation was that I, like her father, would acqui-esce to her demands, and that if she, not unlike her mother,

436 PAUL C. COOPER

continued to exert pressure, I would wimp out like her father,her sisters, and herself. However, underneath these relationaldynamics lurked a deeper, more primitive, largely unconsciousperception. I operated like a cold, harsh, withholding, demand-ing, perfection-seeking, pressuring mother. How frightening!How disappointing to watch Saras castle dissolve in the sand,becoming obliterated with the ebbing and rising of the emo-tional tides that we were clumsily navigating.

Actually, Sara expressed relief that I remained firm. She feltreassured and anchored. My assertion of treatment parameters,my interpretation that for Sara treatment parameters became an-other harsh demanding mother who gives nothing in return, andmy expression of understanding of her reactions all contributedto this process. She felt anchored and returned to the syna-gogue. She began to study again and aced an important finalexam. This work paved the way for addressing issues aroundSaras need to feel separate as reflected in her need for validat-ing reassurance as she continued to pursue her education andher spiritual practice, which symbolically represent the birth andgrowth of a self.

Transference Versus Didactic

Saras prayer practice seems to be gradually generalizinginto her daily routines and seems to contribute to a diminutionof her negative self-perceptions and dysfunctional behaviors. Attimes she also can access states of peace, well-being, ecstasy, andwhat she describes as her place of oneness with life. This caseexample demonstrates the efficacy of working through the trans-ference/countertransference dynamic rather than through di-rect educational measures. In terms of the adaptive functionsthat spiritual practice served for Sara, any introduction of medi-tation in the form of direct instruction would have been invalid-ating, intrusive, and terrifying. Although I understand the effec-tiveness of meditation techniques for learning-disabled andanxious individuals (Cooper, 1983, 1984; Richard, 1972), an ac-tive educational intervention on my part would be experiencedtransferentially as the nonvalidating hypercritical mother whodictates to Sara every step of the way. This would constitute a


serious structural threat to the supportive function that her self-generated spiritual discipline served. Sara would interpret suchan intervention as the critical mother who asserts: You must bestupid, you dont know what you are doing, you must do thingsmy way and my way only. This is, among other aspects of thetreatment situation, how she experienced my strict adherenceto appointment times. However, to return to my original pointconcerning the ascertainment and perception of the interdepen-dently arising transference/countertransference dynamic, al-though I was attuned to Saras self-experience, I did not fullyascertain the transference repetitions based on our actual inter-actions. The overemphasis on her self-states, without much dis-cussion or exploration of the impact of my interpretations, leftus at an impasse. My interpretations assumed enough of a selfto respond to and take in the symbolic feeding function of inter-pretation. Furthermore, they assumed that it was Sara who wasbeing responded to. Experience demonstrates otherwise. My ini-tial understanding or misunderstanding led me to believe thatSara was empathically understood. However, any understandingthat was engendered remained incomplete. I speculated thatSara felt safe enough to allow split-off feelings back into aware-ness and out in the open. However, over time, we obviouslyfound ourselves caught in an impasse. There would be no move-ment in the treatment.

In retrospect, I realized that all of my explanations centeredon Saras sense of self-experience from her own side. They didnot take account of the subjective impact of the interpretationsand behaviors, which Sara experienced as harsh parental criti-cisms, intrusions, withdrawals, and rejections. Simultaneously,Sara was responding to me in the same way her mother re-sponded to her, that is, in cycles of intrusion, rejection, criticism,and pressure. Such interpretations engendered a reliving of pastself and object interaction patterns. The most predominant pat-tern was of a father who lacked the capacity for appropriateemotional involvement and who was disconnected to the pointof delusion, coupled with a mother whose ambivalent and con-fusing overinvolvement was inappropriately mediated in termsof her own narcissism. She exerted control but not any caring.

Sara tends to wall herself off from her mothers narcissistic

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demands. However, this need precedes the development of acohesive or viable sense of self. There is no self to experience ortake in self-oriented interventions. What emerges, as noted be-fore, is an I dont exist self. However, this I dont exist selfis very brittle and resistant to movement. School, housework,religion, and I all become demanding mothers. Sara becomeswalled off, depressed, inattentive, and bored. My own inatten-tiveness, boredom, and fatigue become multiply determined. Onthe one hand is the emerging need to maintain my own auton-omy, identity, and separateness (Kohut, 1971). On the otherhand, these states reflect a resonance with Saras emotionalstates. Consistent attention to manifestations of the pervasive ob-ject gradually contribute to an attenuation of depressive symp-toms through the clearing away of pervasive object elements andcreate the space for the birth of a self.

NOTES1. For a detailed theoretical and clinical discussion of the ramifications and

manifestations of psychic deadness, see Eigen (1996).2. Dependent arising from the Buddhist perspective refers to the contextual

nature of self experience.3. See Clouds into Rain (Cooper, 2001) for a detailed discussion of the con-

tainer and contained in relation to spiritual practice.

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psychoanalytic phenomenology. Hillsdale, NJ: Analytic Press.BION, W. (1970). Attention and interpretation. London: Karnac Books.COOPER, P. (1983). Yoga and learning disabilities: Traditional techniques

modern applications. Chalk Dust, 31/1:2122.(1984 November/December). Yoga for the special child. Yoga Journal,

No. 59:3637, 51.(1998). Sense and non-sense: Phenomenology, Buddhist and psychoan-

alytic. J. Religion Health, 37:357369.(1999). Buddhist meditation and countertransference: A case study.

Am. J. Psychoanal., 59/1:1185.(2000). Unconscious process: Zen and psychoanalytic versions. J. Reli-

gion Health, 39/1:5769.(2001). Clouds into rain. J. Religion Health, 40/3:168183.

EIGEN, M. (1996). Psychic deadness. Northvale, NJ: Aronson.(1998). The psychoanalytic mystic. New York and London: Free Associa-

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(1999). Toxic nourishment. London: Karnac Books.GREEN, A. (1986). On private madness. London: Hogarth Press & Institute of

Psychoanalysis.KLEIN, M. (1935). A contribution to the psychogenesis of manic-depressive

states. In Love, guilt and reparation and other works: 19211945 (pp. 262289). New York: Delacorte Press/Seymour Lawrence, 1975.

KOHUT, H. (1971). The analysis of the self. Madison, CT: International Universi-ties Press.

RHODE, E. (1994). Psychotic metaphysics. London: Karnac Books.(1997). On hallucination, intuition and the becoming of O. Binghamton,

NY: ESF Publishers.RICHARD, M. (1972). Attention training: A pilot study in the development of

autonomic controls. Contemporary Education, 43:157160.SUZUKI, S. (1970). Zen mind, beginners mind. New York: Weatherhill.

(1999). Branching streams flow in darkness: Zen talks on the Sandokai (M.Weitsman & M. Wenger, eds.). Berkeley: University of California Press.

WENGER, M. (1999). Sekito Kisen and the Sandokai. In S. Suzuki, ed., Branchingstreams flow in darkness: Zen talks on the Sandokai (pp. 1116). Berkeley:University of California Press.

WINNICOTT, D. W. (1971). Playing and reality. London: Tavistock.

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