Costa Link Magazine December 2011

Covering the Costa del Sol

www.costalinkmagazine.com

COSTA LINKM a g a z i n e

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December 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 11/22/11 9:57 AM Page 1


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As another year goes whizzing by,we are all feeling a bit older andnone the wiser! How quickly thisyear has shot by - there have been

a number of ups and downs throughout the year – Two royal weddings, the killing ofBin Laden and Gaddafi, the sad passing of many well known people including AmyWinehouse and the one man who changed the world in so many ways – Steve Jobs.And for the first time the world population has exceeded 7 billion people – I think mostof them holidayed in the Costa del Sol this summer judging by the lack of parking!I really love this time of year, everyone is happy and enjoying the festive season, theshops are packed and carols are playing everywhere, the kids are looking forward toFather Christmas bring them the latest ipad, ps3, xbox game or a new mobile phone,when I was a kid I got a kaleidoscope and a chocolate orange – how times havechanged!! Don’t forget to book your Christmas and New Year celebrations nice andearly to avoid missing out and it just leaves me to say “Enjoy the turkey and mincepies and have drink to 2012”.....

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AA WW oo mm aa nn ’’ ss WW oo rr ll ddJennifer’s wedding....Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not

even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and

would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A

week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her

father's new young wife had bought the exact

same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it,

but she refused. 'Absolutely not, I look like a

million bucks in this dress and I'm wearing it,'

she replied. Jennifer told her mother who

graciously said 'Never mind sweetheart. I'll

get another dress. After all, it's your special

day.' A few days later, they went shopping

and did find another gorgeous dress. When

they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her

mother, 'Aren't you going to return the other

dress? You really don't have another occasion

where you could wear it. Her mother just smiled and

replied, 'Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the

rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.'

Ding-Dong!

An early stocking filler!



Hello to Hardman actor Jamie Foreman he’s arrived asDerek Branning’s younger brother Max, played by Jake

Wood, returns to Walford at the same time. He left inAugust after his affair with his ex-wife was exposed.

Foreman, who specialises in tough-guy roles, is theson of genuine East End villain Freddie Foreman, anold associate of the Krays. The actor, who has datedPatsy Kensit, has starred in Roman Polanski's OliverTwist as well as Nil By Mouth and Gangster No 1.

Goodbye Pat. Eastenders fans will be weeping intotheir turkey as Pat dies alone of cancer this

Christmas. She’ll get a horse-drawn hearse as part ofa traditional Cockney send-off in her spectacular

funeral. The coffin of the soap veteran played by Pam StClement, 69 is taken to its final resting place in style after

she succumbs to cancer.Black-plumed horses are seen pulling the carriage with "Pat" spelt out

in flowers in tearful scenes filmed in London for the harrowing Christmas storyline. Pat'ssons David and Simon Wicks alias Michael French and Nick Berry have been lined up toreturn to Albert Square to see off their old mum. The battleaxe one of Walford's best-knowncharacters for 25 years breaks the grim news that she is terminally ill to pals in the QueenVic. They are left stunned by the bombshell. Pat then passes away peacefully in bed.

8

HH oo tt GG oo ss ss !!Hello & Goodbye...

December 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 11/22/11 1:30 PM Page 8


Her daughters told her to do, most of the women on theplanet thought she should do it, but apparently it took a psychic topersuade Demi Moore to get rid of her rat of a husband. The actresshas always sought spiritual advice throughout her life, and the caseof her divorce from Ashton Kutcher was no different. "Demi is veryreliant on psychics," a friend told The Sun. "She listened when oneinsisted that to save her health she had to stop clinging to the hope ofsaving the marriage. Her three daughters had been telling her thesame thing, but it was the psychic that tipped the balance." Accordingto friends, Demi was surviving on little more than energy drinks as thestrain of the cheating allegations took their toll. Another friend insiststhat the actress called time on her marriage because she wanted to seta good example to her daughters, Rumer, Scout and Tallulah. "She

wants to set an example to her daughters and this was just something she could not rationalise to herself or them," the friend told Us Weekly. "She still loves Ashton, but feelshe went too far and disrespected her and their marriage in a way that can't be takenback." As well as being comforted by her family and ex-hubby Bruce Willis, Demi has alsobeen leaning on her famous pal Madonna for support. "Demi has been there for Madonnaover the years and now it's Madonna's turn to be there for Demi. She has told her she willhelp her heal and take time out to guide her through this tough time," an insider told TheSun. Well, we suppose Madge does have experience in high-profile divorce. Now all that'sleft to do is for the couple to split up their marital home and other assets. We still feel verysad about all this - Demi and Ashton always seemed so happy...

10

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AA ttuurrkkeeyy’’ss lliiffee.......... When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,

Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,And he told me there was something that I had to know; His

look and his tone I will always remember, When he told me of thehorrors of..... Black November; "Come about August, now listen to me,

Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three, "And soon you'll be thick, where once youwere thin, And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin; "And then one morning, whenyou're warm in your bed, In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head; "Then she'll pluckout all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink, And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' inthe sink; "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing, "She'll spread your cheeks andpack your rear with stuffing". Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat, I sat on thestoop like a winged piece of meat, And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked, I'd haveto lay low and remain overlooked; I began a new diet of nuts and granola, High-roughage sal-ads, juice and diet cola; And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes, I stayed in my roomdoing Jane Fonda tapes; I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half, And tried not tonotice when the bigger birds laughed; But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath, As theychomped and they chewed, ever closer to death; And sure enough when Black November rolledaround, I was the last turkey left in the entire compound; So now I'm a pet in the farmer'swife's lap; I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap; She held me today, while sewing and humming,And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming..."





16

1) Who had his first solo

number one hit in the UK with ‘I

just called to say I love you’?

2) How many degrees in a

right angle?

3) What was the name of the

painter and decorator in the TV

series ‘Brush Strokes’?

4) Ash Wednesday is the first day of what?

5) Which football club did Alex Ferguson leave to

join Manchester United?

6) What is the square root of 9?

7) What music is traditionally played in the armed

forces at ‘wake up’?

8) Where is Casablanca?

9) What colour is the book in ‘This is your Life’?

10) Which Sir Francis invented a scale for

measuring wind velocity?

11) What is the name of Dot Cotton’s son in

Eastenders?

12) Which BBC TV programme features sheep

dog trials?

13) Which country is Sophia the capital of?

14) What was the first gameshow transmitted on

Channel 4?

15) What is the name of the dog in ‘Punch & Judy’?

16) Whose children are called Lourdes &

Rocco?

17) How many signs of the

zodiac are there?

18) Who laid the foundation

stone for Coventry Cathedral?

19) What colour are traditional

Victorian photographs?

20) Who played Moses in the film

‘The Ten Commandments’?

21) What 2 colours are most confused in colour

blindness?

22) What is a Maris Piper?

23) Was Geoff Boycott left or right handed as a

‘batsman’?

24) Which is furthest south – Corsica or Sardinia?

25) Who wrote the book, the ‘Day of the Jackal’?

26) What is the BBC’s teletext service called?

27) Which word can go before the following to

make 3 new words; Ground, Pedal and Water?

28) Which country does fictional detective Hercule

Poirot originate from?

29) Which religious building featured on the

Thames Television logo?

30) Which British car manufacturer produced the

Zodiac car?

Answers on page 90

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How to find us: Following direction to Captain Mac which is next to Bankinter. If you are walking: take first on your right which is a pedestrian road “Pasaje las Palmeras”,first left.. If you are driving: park at the underground parking, cross the road with your back to NH Hotel, we are between Guzman and Captain Mac. You will see a ramp and few steps and there you are in “Plaza Los Faroles” Local 6 y 7.

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How to find us: Following direction to Captain Mac which is next to Bankinter. If you are walking: take first on your right which is a pedestrian road “Pasaje las Palmeras”,first left.. If you are driving: park at the underground parking, cross the road with your back to NH Hotel, we are between Guzman and Captain Mac. You will see a ramp and few steps and there you are in “Plaza Los Faroles” Local 6 y 7.

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18

TThhee CChhrriissttmmaass........Singing Parrot.... Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man raninto a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift forhis wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet,which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like

the perfect gift."How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.

"Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet," was theshop owner's reply. The shop owner held a match under the parrot's

left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ... " The shop owner thenheld anothermatch under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with"Silent Night, Holy Night..."The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as hecould with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beau-tiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No,"the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me showyou." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chetcrooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!..."The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night. HolyNight..."The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?"The man did not know. "Let's try it," heanswered, eager to please his wife.So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and sangout loudly (like it was the performance of his life):"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."

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top 5 beat the bulge, LBD (little black dress) tips Deck the halls – It’s party season! This year, it’s time to up the glam up at Diva with our Party Packages. (See advert below). You’ve had the spray tan advice, you’ve booked the package you desire, and your Christmas Party is just round the corner. So here are some tips to get you in that LBD (little black dress). So if you're sighing in despair at the thought of big tum and muffin tops, then read on and take our advice.Avoid the bloat - Cutting out wheat, bread and yeast for one month could help you lose up to half a stone because they are common foods many are intolerant to. Food intolerance can cause inflammation, which can make your body swell and retain water (not fat). Intolerances can also make you bloated. Replace with wheat-free, yeast-free bread, sour dough breads, rye crackers and brown rice or wholegrain rice cakes.Take an Epsom salt bath the night before your big do Epsom salts can help draw out unwanted toxins from your body through the skin. You will see a difference straight after your bath and your dress will be easier to slide into. Run a hot bath, add half a kilo of Epsom salts (ask for them at your chemist), then sit and sweat for 20-30 minutes while drinking plenty of water or herbal teas to help you detox further. Then go to bed and have a good sleep and drink loads of water in morning. Support your digestion - Poor digestion can cause bloating and weight gain. You can support your digestion by avoiding liquids within 20 minutes of meals to avoid diluting your digestive juices, which help digest your food. And if your digestion is really bad then mix one tablespoon of good quality apple cider vinegar in water 20 minutes before main meals for one month to cleanse your system, stimulate your digestion and hopefully keep your stomach flat so you can get into your dress!Get your sleep - It's much easier to stay slim or lose weight when you get enough sleep. Lack of sleep plays havoc with your hunger hormones which lead to uncontrollable eating and weight gain. Research also shows the longer we stay awake the more we eat! Another reason to get to bed on time as it will stop you snacking late into the night.Don't stress - Keep on stressing and it might stop you getting into your party dress because stress can make you fat as your body lays down new fat stores around the middle to protect vital organs from a perceived attack. So combat stress with deep breathing to oxygenate your body. Avoid stress where possible and drink camomile tea to calm your mind. The B complex vitamins are great for stress and you can get these from your health food store and from whole grains like brown rice or rye bread. Or try Diva’s relaxing facials & massage, in luxurious surroundings a serene candle lit room we will help cleanse the mind and body!



Press Release:Bah Humbug! Christmas DownsizingToday's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look forbetter, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following econ-omy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" sub-sidiary:• The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be thecash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providingconsiderable savings in maintenance.

• The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. Inaddition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.• The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French.• The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underwayto determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.• The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commoditycould have negative implications for institutional investors. • The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate ofone egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in theselection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.•The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. Their function is primarily decorative. Mechanicalswans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement.• As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EU. A male/female balance in theworkforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of theprocess may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.• Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older andcan no longer do the steps.• Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted theCompensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work MP’s. • Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with astring quartet, a cut back on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right down to the bottom line.

We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and other expenses. Though incomplete,studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levelswill be improved.Regarding the lawsuit filed by the Law association seeking expansion to include the legal profession("thirteen lawyers-a-suing"), action is pending.Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to stay competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfsis the right number.

22

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I phoned a really.....gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine theother day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wildnights we used to enjoy together 20 years ago. I couldn'tBELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up andmaybe rekindle a little of that magic. "Wow!" I said "I don't

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said she was sure I'd meet the challenge. "Yeah," I said, "Justso long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few

inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teasedme, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute. "Anyway", she said, "I've put on acouple of pounds myself!" So I hung up...

Unusual Funeral..... A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffeewhen he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behindthe first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a lead.Behind him a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.The man was so curious that he respectfully approached the man walking the dog andsaid, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I havenever seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My wife's." "What happened to her?"The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.“Can I borrow the dog?" "Get in line.”

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It’s a Cracker.....The president of the Festive Foods Corporation was included in apapal audience and he took the opportunity of making a businessproposition to the Pope; that if he could arrange for the Lord's

Prayer to be changed from “Give us this day our daily bread” to“Give us this day our daily turkey” throughout the whole of Advent

and Christmas the Festive Foods Corporation in exchange would give£20 million to Catholic charities. The Pope declined his offer. A few weeks later

the man called the Pope and upped the offer to £50 million but once again it was turned down. A fewweeks before the beginning of Advent the man came back to the Pope with an astonishing offer of£100 million. The Pope considered all the good work that could be done with such a large amount ofmoney and decided to go ahead. The next day he called a special meeting of the Cardinals to let themknow about the situation. “Well” said the Pope. “I have good news and bad news. The good news isthat we are to receive £100 million. The bad news is that we have lost the Hovis account.”

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves atthe pearly gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something ‘Christmassy’. The first man searches his pocket and finds somemistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is alsoallowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of knickers. Confused at this last ges-ture, St. Peter asks, “How on earth do these represent Christmas?” The thirdman answered “They’re Carol’s.”



CHRISTMAS WAISTLINES!!Now the festivities are coming, the waistlines will become bigger and thebank balance emptier, it won’t be just us humans that will need to shed

some of the Christmas pudding calories after Christmas. Most pets are naturally active but over the winter months their activity will fall and they can

gain weight, so they will also need some post Christmas attention. An overweight pet is far more likely to have long-term health problems. If you think

your pet is a little more “cuddly” than usual, the first thing you should do is call your vet for a thorough examination to check for medical conditions that may be causing the weight gain.

Dogs: Suffice to say a daily walk is the best idea as it benefits both pet and owner. In essenceyour dog’s weight reflects the balance between daily intakes of calories versus calories burntby exercise. In a natural situation, a dog would spend the majority of its day hunting for foodburning up calories. In a domestic situation, the only hunting you dog usually need to do ishunt for the food bowl! In essence, the more you exercise the more you can eat, or the way Ilook at it, a game of squash buys a pint of beer!

Cats: Cats suit our hectic lives, being more self sufficient, less time consuming and cheaper tocare for. Unfortunately, this has resulted in cats becoming more couch potato-like than thepredator they started out as. Grazing on the plentiful supply of food left out while we are atwork only to clamber onto our laps when we come home from a hard day’s work. They, like us, are only too happy to sit and snooze on the sofa in front of the TV. All that lazi-ness, lack of exercise and excessive food intake will cause obesity - no different from us! The simple answer is regular play. So plenty of cat toys for Christmas this year!!!!!

Have a wonderful Christmas & a Healthy Happy New Year from all the team at POSH PETS SPAIN. X

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An Osteopath is able to feel Craniosacralrhythm. This rhythm represents the ensem-

ble of all other rhythms of the human body(Cerebro-Spinal Fluid circulation, Central

Nervous System activity, Respiration, etc…).During the expression of this rhythm, a light

movement of the bones of the head and thesacrum is perceptible by the Osteopath. In

Osteopathy, this movement is called flexion and exten-sion. It is felt at the level of the skull and must be symmetrical and connected withthe sacrum, hence the name Craniosacral.

This movement and symmetry can be distorted by shocks to the body (falls, fractures,accidents), unbalancing the whole musculo-skeletal framework. So a tensionreceived at the level of the skull or at the sacrum will reverberate along the vertebralcolumn and affect its other extremity. This explains why someone can experiencepain on the neck and shoulders after a fall on his sacrum in the past.

Also, when a person receives a physical shock during a fall or an accident, he willunconsciously adopt a compensatory posture to decrease the pain. This new posturaladaptation will affect the natural equilibrium of the human body and will, later on,generate new tensions. For example, someone having injured the ligaments of hisright knee will unintentionally favor that leg and use the left leg more, thus creatingback pain.

What is happening there is that the body “remembers” there was an injury. The shockreceived will in general stay present within the nervous system creating a reflex withthe brain that will make someone unconsciously shift his weight to the left. Until theOsteopath releases the shock received within the nervous system and then realignsthe Craniosacral system, it is difficult for someone to regain his natural equilibrium,and constant reoccurring problems appear elsewhere.

This is true for each big “shock” we receive, either fall, fracture or traffic accident. Ineach case, there will always be a “nervous memory” that must be released first inorder to help the tissues find their natural symmetry again.

After releasing the nervous system, the Osteopath will help theCraniosacral system to balance and reorganise, thus allowingthe whole musculo-skeletal framework to readjust (bones, liga-ments, muscles, tendons). When the Craniosacral system isbalanced, a person is in general in equilibrium (right/left andsacrum/cranium) with a relaxed nervous system, hence itsimportance…

Geoffrey Wattinne, is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” and aUK trained Osteopath. For more information on Geoffrey or anyof our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76

MMeeddiiccaall TTiippssOsteopathy....

34


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TThhee ooffffiiCCee CChhRRiiSSTTMMAASSPPAARRTTyy..........

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after hiscompany’ s Christmas party. He can’ t even remem-

ber how he got home from the party. He just hoped hehadn’ t done anything embarrassing. Jack forces himself

to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirinsand a glass of water on the bedside table, with a single red rose. He sits up and sees hisclothes laid out for him, and that the bedroom is spotless. He looks in the mirror and seesa huge black eye staring back at him along with a note written on the corner of the mir-ror in lipstick “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get ingredients to makeyour favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Jillian.” He stumbles to the kitchen andsure enough, there is a full English, steaming coffee and the newspaper. His son is also sit-ting at the table eating. “ Son, what happened last night?” “ Well you came home after3am, drunk out of your mind, fell over the coffee table and broke it, puked in the hallway,and you got that black eye when you ran into the door.” Confused, he asked his son, “so,why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? Why do I have a rose, love notes andbreakfast waiting for me?” His son replies, “Oh that! Mum dragged you to the bedroom,and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, leave me alone, I’ m married!”



38

MMiilllliioonnaaiirree MMoommeenntt......Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants

To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of

the program had already won 500,000

pounds. You've done very well so far,' said,

Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, 'but for a

million pounds you've only got one lifeline

left - phone a friend. Everything is riding on this

question......will you go for it? ''Sure,' said Mick.

'I'll have a go!' 'Which of the following birds does NOT

build its own nest?'

A: Sparrow B: Thrush C: Magpie D: CuckooI haven't got a clue,' said Mick, 'so I'll use me last lifeline and phone me

friend Paddy back home in Dublin '. Mick called up his mate, and told him

the circumstances and repeated the question to him. 'hey, Mick!' cried Paddy. 'Dat's

simple......it's a cuckoo.' 'Are you sure?''I'm really sure..' Mick hung up the phone and

told Chris, 'I'll go wit Cuckoo as me answer.' 'Is that your final answer?' asked Chris 'Dat it

is, Sir.' There was a long - long pause, then the presenter screamed, 'Cuckoo is the cor-

rect answer! Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!' The next night, Mick invited Paddy to

their local pub to buy him a drink. 'Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you

know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?

'Because he lives in a clock!'

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86

---

Central number for Fire,

Police & Ambulance 112

National Police 091

Local Police 092

Guardia Civil 062

dica

Emergency061

Ambulance Marbella

902 505 061

Ambulance Coin952 453 267

Marbella952 769 946

Coin

952 452 767

San Pedro952 787 700

Emergency number080

Marbella952 774 349

Estepona952 804 483Fuengirola952 461 046

British 952 352 300

Ireland 952 475 108

Denmark 952 226 373

Sweden 952 604 383

Germany 952 212 442

France 952 226 590

U.S.A 952 474 891

Marbella 952 771 442

Coin 952 822 818

Estepona 952 822 818

Fuengirola 952 467 457

San Pedro 952 785 252

Bus Stations

Marbella952 764 400

Coin952 450 366


Estepona

952 800249

For a list of complete timeswww.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Train Timetables902 240 202

Airports

Malaga952 048 844

Gibraltar956 773 026

Marbella952 761 100


La Cala de Mijas952 493 208

Fuengirola952 589 300

Estepona952 801 100

Monday - Marbella (fairground

site on east side)

Tuesday - Fuengirola (fair-

ground near Los Boliches)

Wednesday - Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos)

La Cala - Feria ground

Thursday - San Pedro

(Recinto Ferial)

Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama)

Friday - Alhaurin el Grande

(Bar Aquamania)

Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano

Pineda)

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

All the Cinemas listed below

show films in English as well

as Spanish. Call first to check

what is showing that week.

Marbella:Cinesur Plaza del Mar952 766 941

La Cañada902 333 231

Puerto Banus:Gran Marbella952 810 077

Coin:La Trocha951 315 039

FuengirolaCinesur Miramar902 221 622

24 hour chemist

Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz

Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Marbella Taxis952 774 488

Mijas Costa Taxis952 476 593

6th December - Day of the

Constitution Public Holiday.

8th December - Immaculate

Conception - Public Holiday.

22nd December - Spanish

Christmas Lottery (El Gordo)

24th December – Christmas

Eve

25th December – Christmas

Day / Natividad del Señor

26th December – Boxing Day

27th December – Boxing Day

Bank Holiday (UK)

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 66940

ocal Info

Emergency Numbers

Medical

Health Centres

Fire Brigade

Consulates

Transport

Tourist Information

Town Halls

Markets Diary Dates

Cinemas

Chemists

Taxis





1st to Sunday 4th December: Cirque duSoleil at Palacio de Deportes Jose MartinCarpena, Malaga. Tickets from €30 upwards. www.livenation.es/artist/cirque-du-soleil-tickets3rd December: ARCH Charity Fun Dog Showand Christmas Fair at Granja Escuela Los

Erales, Alhaurin el Grande. 10am-1pm. Raffle,stalls, donkey rides, PomPom the Clown, petting

zoo. Contact [email protected] 3rd December: Christmas Fair. 11am-9pm at Hacienda

Almoguera, Los Barrios. Includes bouncy castle, nativity, pony rides, stalls, games.www.haciendaalmoguera.com6th December: Christmas Fair 11am-3pm at Leslie’s Bar, Coin. Stalls, raffles and visit fromSanta Claus. 6th, 8th, 10th & 17th December (3pm - 6pm): Kidz Kingdom - What would Christmas bewithout the Wonder of Santa? Enchant your children with a visit to see the Real SantaClause at Kidz Kingdom. Watch their eyes light up with excitement as they receive their special wrapped gift from Santa. It’ll be like a dream come true! Kidz Kingdom - 952 928 936.9th to 11th December: TAPAS Christmas Panto at Los Arcos, Coin – Cinderella. Runs at8pm on Friday and Saturday and a matinee on Sunday at 4pm. Tickets are €9 adults or €4 forchildren. Call 635 293 714 for info.10th December: Christmas Fayre at Kiddi Bank Day Care, Centro Plaza, Alcaidesa from10am-5pm. Santa’s Grotto, bouncy castle, puppet show, arts and crafts. Contact [email protected] 11th December: Christmas Fair at the Hipodromo, Mijas Costa. Kid’s fun area, live music,talent competition, stalls. 12pm until 7pm. Email [email protected] for info.18th December (12pm - 6pm): A ‘Snow White’ Christmas Party - Join us for our MagicalChristmas Party with heaps of entertainment for the whole family and various games andactivities throughout the day. There’ll be plenty of magic tricks and organized party fun withWizzy the Wizard and Special Guest Appearances from your children’s favourite Charactersincluding Spiderman, Dora the Explora, our Beloved Santa Clause and even Snow White her-self. They’ll feel like they’re inside a mini wonderland and if that’s not enough, there will beunlimited mince pies & mulled wine to get you into the ‘Spirit’ of Christmas. See you therefor an amazing fun filled day!!! Kidz Kingdom - 952 928 936 .22nd, 29th & 30th December: The Russian National Ballet performing The Nutcracker at9pm at the Cervantes Theatre, Malaga. www.teatrocervantes.es for info and tickets whichstart at €22.Every Tuesday: Mum & Baby Pilates class at 11am at the San Roque International Nursery,Sotogrande with stimulating toys, ball pool and much more. www.pilatesparati.es Every Wednesday: Curry Night & Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola.Every Thursday: Pilates Stroller workout class on the Torreguadiaro Beachfront at 11am.This is a post natal workout for Mums along with their little ones in their stroller, walkingexercises and Pilates pitstops. www.pilatesparati.esEvery Thursday: Steak Night at Ray’s Bar, With live Music, Dona Lola, Beach SideCalahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364Every Friday: Fish and Chips Night at Ray’s Bar, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, oppositeEl Zoco Tel 634 840 364Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at Santiago del Calvario, Alhaurin, Roast beef, LambPork, or chicken with fish and Vegetarian options available.Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at El Parasio Bar and Restaurant. Tel 952 883 799Every Sunday: Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola, Beach SideCalahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364Every Sunday: Barbeque night at Riviera Grand Palms Cyber Cafe, from 6pm, Families wel-come, loads of home cooked food from 7€, Calle Sirocco 370 Phase 7 Urb. Riveria del Sol,follow the signs from the lady in the bath, booking advised Tel 952 932 112.

If you would like to list your events, days out or any else you have going onplease contact us on: 663 061 669 or email [email protected]

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WWhhaatt’’ss OOnnGuide

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INTRODUCTION TO MASSAGE

Massage is one of the oldest healing arts: Chineserecords dating back 3,000 years document its use; theancient Hindus, Persians and Egyptians applied forms ofmassage for many ailments; and Hippocrates wrote

papers recommending the use of rubbing and friction forjoint and circulatory problems. Today, the benefits of

massage are varied and far-reaching. As an accepted partof many physical rehabilitation programs, massage therapy has

also proven beneficial for many chronic conditions, including low backpain, arthritis, bursitis, fatigue, high blood pressure, diabetes, immunity suppression, infertility, smoking cessation, depression, and more.

So What Is It Exactly? Massage, bodywork and somatic therapies are defined as theapplication of various techniques to the muscular structure and soft tissues of thehuman body. Specifically:

Massage: The application of soft-tissue manipulation techniques to the body, gener-ally intended to reduce stress and fatigue while improving circulation. The many vari-ations of massage account for several different techniques.

Bodywork: Various forms of touch therapies that may use manipulation, movement, and/or repatterning to affect structural changes to the body.

Somatic: Meaning “of the body.” Many times this term is used to denote a body/mindor whole-body approach as distinguished from a physiology-only or environmentalperspective.

Health & Well Being

48





BBAARR && RREESSTTAAUURRAANNTT

Guide.....

This smart cocktail will get the party started with maximum fun and minimum fuss

Ingredients & Method

Put 140g fresh or frozen cranberries, a handful mint and 2 tbsp brown sugar in a bowl. Crush with the end of a rollingpin, then add a couple of handfuls of crushed ice and stirto mix. Add a shot of vodka to 6-8 tall glasses, divide the cranberry crush between them,then top up with cranberry juiceand sparkling water (serves 6-8).

Christmas Mojitos

52





STARTERSSpring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken

and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot andSour Soup or Spare Ribs.

MAIN COURSEBeef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese

Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken withCashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with

Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)RICE AND NOODLES

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodleswith Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

DESSERTSCoffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit

Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas.Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

HONG KONGCHINESE RESTAURANT

ONLY€6.90

La Mirage Restaurant & Spikes Bar

Lunch or Dine in style in our fabulous Restaurant overlooking the Golf Course excellent choice of menus and wines. Open every day of the year.

Live entertainment on Friday / Saturday eveningsor

Relax on the sunny terrace of Spikes Bar.Breakfasts, snacks & daily specials available from

08:00 till late every day (from 09:00 on Sunday)

Miraflores Golf ClubUrbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

Tel (+34) 952 931 941 Email: [email protected]

Website: www.miraflores-golf.com

aurestestestaurage Rage RLa MirLa MirLa Mirage RLa Mirage R& Spikes Bar

ant auraurant

uf Clf Clues Goles Golf Clafloraflores GolMirMiraflor

.miraflores-golf.comebsite: wwwWWebsite: wwwEmail: [email protected]

el (+34) 952 931 941 TUrbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

bu

.miraflores-golf.comEmail: [email protected]

Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM

56


Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu.

Special lunch menu only €6.95.

Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday.

Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Golden Sun

Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta,

wood burning pizza oven, Open every day

12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

Mama Nostra

All live sports and premiere league football. SixTV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast andhomemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10am-

late, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

Harrys Sports Bar

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HHEERREECall: 663 061 669

Ray’s BarWed/Sun

from 9pm

STEAK NIGHT

2 sirlion meals & bottle of wine 19.95€

Thursday

Friday

Fish & Chip

for all the latest info

www.facebook.com/rays.bar

Gamesshown on flat screen TV’s5 live

Night

Dona LolaMijas Costa

Beach Side Calahonda

Tel: 634 840 364Open 7 days a week from 10am to Late

www.raysbar.co.uk

Curry NightWednesday

Bs’R

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58

Mini Christmas Cakes...Ingredients: 225 g light muscovado sugar225 g butter, or margarine225 g plain flour1 tsp mixed spice, 1 tsp ground cinnamon1/2 tsp ground ginger1/2 tsp ground nutmeg & 1/2 tsp bicarbonate of sodalarge pinch of salt4 eggs, beaten1 tbsp black treacle1 apple & 1 orange, grated rind275 g raisins, 275 g currants, 275 g sultanas65 g almonds5 tbsp brandy

Method:1. Turn the oven onto 140C/gas mark 1 and put a shelf onto the centre runner.

2. Grease 10 x 10cm tins using a little of the butter and line with baking parchment.

3. Cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, sieve in the flour with the spices, bicarbonate

of soda and salt and add the beaten eggs, treacle, apple and orange rind.

4. Add the fruit and nuts to the bowl, mix together.

5. Finally add in the brandy and mix together thoroughly.

6. Spoon the mixture evenly between the tins and press down gently to even it out.

7. Bake for around 1 hour or until cooked. Check if it's cooked by inserting a skewer into the

centre - if the skewer comes out gooey then leave the cake in the oven for another 10 minutes

or until the skewer comes out clean.






from

COSTA LINKM a g a z i n eCOSTA LINKM a g a z i n e


64

Actual notes left for milkmen...must make their day a little moreinteresting

‘I've just had a baby, please leave another one.’

‘Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk.’

‘Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.’

‘Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby,and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.’

‘Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but theother way around.’

‘My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver, or do I have to

shake the bottle?’

‘From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days inbetween, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk.’

‘Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yester-day...or is it today ?’

‘When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out, and put newspaper inside thescreen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk.’

‘No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.’

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Headlines 21st July 2029•Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest

country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. Minorities still trying

to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

•Spotted Owl plague threatens crops and livestock.

•Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

•Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

•Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to

safe levels.

•France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica .No other country comes forward to help the

beleaguered nation!

•Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has

banned all smoking.

•George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

•Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to €17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

•85-year €75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

•Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

•Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.

•Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a

woman with her mouth shut.

•High Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

•Average height of teenagers is now nine feet, seven inches.

•New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers and fly swatters must be registered by January 2030

•IVA at lowest tax rate for 10 years only 75 percent.


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68

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Gemini

Taurus

Aquarius you will receive a spark from Mercury this December. The aspect from Mercuryincreases creative thought and mental activity, energizing communications and interactions withothers. You will be very busy at this time, interaction are beneficial as you can project yourselfstrongly and clearly without upsetting anyone. Negotiation and meetings will benefit from yourinput and you may even play the role of negotiator or mediator within groups or with friendsand family. Writing as well as speaking should come easily so this is a good time to put pen topaper to clear up paperwork and even apply for a job or promotion. Also be more active inyour neighborhood catch up with friends it is the festive season after all.

Pisces you will have help from Venus this December. It will increase opportunities with love andmoney. You feel energetic about expressing love and affection, and make a genuine effort toplease and to share your warm feelings. Your social skills are firing on all cylinders so this is anespecially good time to get out and make new friends. You will find that others are attractedto your warm and outgoing nature and you will have a greater chance during these days offinding new love. This attractive energy you are giving off may also bring you favors and gifts,even some extra money. This is an ideal time to ask for what you really want whether it bematerial possessions or more affection. A great time for enjoying the finer things in life, spend-ing money on yourself or taking a friend to the movies.

December, Aries sees Mercury in transit this improves thinking and communications as yourthoughts are in harmony with your intentions. You will feel an increased need for love andaffection; there may be a little friction if you don’t get much back in return. There will be a ten-dency to slack off and enjoy yourself so if you have to go to work it may be difficult to focus.You may have a selfish attitude at the moment, which others will pick up on and give you ahard time about, but you really couldn’t care less. You would rather not get involved in anydramas, and prefer to indulge yourself in non-productive, though rather enjoyable pursuits.Overindulgence with money is something to be careful of at this time, as racking up unneces-sary debt on the credit card is a real temptation. This will last throughout December.

An opposition from Mercury this December may challenge you Gemini. This is likely to be avery busy time with the possibility of arguments and increased stress. Your will and ego areworking at cross purposes to your rational thinking and how you express yourself, so it’s easyto put other people off during this time. They will feel you are being too selfish and annoying,but you think they are the ones that are hard to get along with. Communications and mentalactivity are highly stimulated now so it may be difficult to avoid arguments, but it is you whohas to think of others and seek a compromise, at least to settle things down before you pushyour agenda. Important decisions should be avoided, and this is also not the best time for bar-gaining, making business deals or signing contracts.

Taurus you will have a very good aspect from the New Moon on December 24th. This NewMoon signals a month ahead of inner balance and more harmonious relationships. You shouldfeel more relaxed and calm because the two sides of your brain are working together. All areasof life should flow smoothly and you should not have to deal with too many obstacles or com-petition. Your plans should work out well, and goals will be more easily reached than at othertimes. Other people do not stand in your way, and you can expect favors and at least littleresistance from others, especially men and people with power. This is an ideal time to enjoylife and relax, a holiday should work out really well at the moment, but this good energyshould be used to further personal goals.

SSTTAARR SSIIGGNNSSA look at what's in store for you during December.....

Hooray, all Capricorn’s you have Venus, the planet of love and money going through your signthis December. This lets you fully express your loving nature and creativity. You feel beautifuland this is radiated so you attract beautiful people and things. An excellent time for giving andreceiving love and affection, spending time with loved ones and socializing with friends. Alsowhy not host or attend a party, as Venus rules money this should be a good time financially.Spend some money on yourself by getting a makeover, buying clothes or jewelry. Relationshipsespecially with the opposite sex should go well because of your attractive energy, if you are onthe market then your chances are good for finding someone special.


Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer you will have Venus opposite your sign this December. Although this puts a focus on loverelationships and does increase your need for love and affection, there may be some conflict withpartners if there is some imbalance in the relationship. Tension may arise if you have been feel-ing unloved or not appreciated. You are more likely to expect lots of attention at this time butwill have to give more as well. There is the increased chance of meeting new friends or even anew lover, however it will be important that you not lower you standards. You may also feellike indulging in pleasure more than going to work. Lack of discipline and overindulgence areother things to be mindful of at the moment. Think twice about getting into debt now as thiscould cause problems down the line.

Leo you will get a few slightly uncomfortable days due to the opposition from Venus betweenDecember 21st and 29th. It’s not a severe transit by any means but Venus opposite the Sun doesincrease activity in the love and relationship department, you will feel like indulging in pleasuremore than going to work. Relationships should go well but there may be trouble if you loweryou standards, entering a new relationship is really not in your best interests at the moment. Youhave an extra need to be loved, you may be inclined to be too pushy which could result in theother person feeling smothered and pushing you away. There will probably be a tendency to bea bit lazy at this time. Take care not to go too overboard with spending and don’t expect to geta favorable response if trying to borrow money.

Virgo this December everything in your world will seem beautiful. You feel fantastic; life flowsalong smoothly with few cares or worries. Your loving attitude means that people respond withkindness and affection, all social activities are favored. At work you can even expect better rela-tions with the boss and co-workers. Your more relaxed attitude is likely to have a calming influ-ence on the people around you so you can bask in more admiration and popularity. These daysshould bring harmony and balance especially in close relationships, allowing you to enjoy workand play and get along with everybody without even trying. An ideal time to go to parties orto just relax. This is also a favorable month for finances, buy nice things, also try your hand atsomething creative.

Libra during December you will welcome a great aspect from the 10th’s lunar eclipse. The lunareclipse is an energizing and creative transit. It gives power of personal expression, which helps inself-promotion, and the achievement of goals. This is an excellent time to get on make realprogress with things in life that mean a lot to you, work, relationships and longer term goals. Youface little resistance from people or circumstances, in fact, because of this attractive energy youexpress, you may well attract new love, gifts and favors, so asking for some help with moneywould not be out or order at this time. A great time for enjoying the finer things in life, purchas-ing luxury items and snuggling up with a block of chocolate in front of the TV.

Sagittarius you will have a very busy December with Mercury going back and forwards over yourSun. Mercury in your sign brings mental alertness, quick thinking and much interaction and com-munications with people. You are keen to express your identity through these interactions, chat-ting or bumping into people around town. A good time for meetings, going for coffee, visitingfriends. You think and speak clearly and can easily explain your thoughts and ideas in a straight-forward fashion. The increase in communication, chatting, reading and writing, can also occurvia the Internet. Mercury stations directly on December 14th so which out for a few days as youmay get a little more frazzled, as things get really hectic.

Scorpio you should fair very well in the romance department throughout December. An excel-lent combination of Venus and a New Moon awaits you this month, the ideal blend of love andpassion, sex and desire. The attractive energy you radiate at this time means that sexual relationswith a love partner are most rewarding, and if you are single, then you should score well! Marswill increase self-confidence and energy levels, and also your magnetic attractiveness to others.The perfect time to push ahead in business or climb the ladder at work. You can take the initia-tive and start projects with a high probability of success because you give it your all and peoplewill take notice. If you have a pet project or cause you feel strongly about, this is the ideal timeto promote it.

A look at what's in store for you during December.....


70

Sidecar Harley is the top dog in Peterborough When motorcycling lover Alan Valkeith went

out on the road, there was one big and furry

thing that he really missed.

Hound trip: Alan Valkeith and his pet St Bernard go

out for a spin And so rather than leave his pet dog at

home, the 62-year-old found the perfect solution for

the St Bernard – a sidecar. Not only that but the

appropriately named Harley also has Doggles and a

specially-made crash helmet. ‘As soon as I make a

move to go in the garage, he’s there, wanting to get in

the bike,’ Mr Valkeith said. ‘I don’t like leaving a dog on its own at home, especially with a St

Bernard. They have to be with someone or another animal, otherwise they fret.’

Harley was given Doggles to protect him from the sun while on the Honda Gold Wing 1200.

Mr Valkeith also bought a helmet and remoulded the polystyrene inside to make it fit his 17-

month-old pet’s head. Harley was then introduced gradually to the open road, taking small jour-

neys at first. ‘I was surprised how well Harley took to the helmet. Whether he realised we were

wearing crash helmets, I don’t know. I’m not sure how dogs’ minds work,’ added Mr Valkeith,

who lives in Peterborough. ‘He’s always getting his photograph taken. People who see him can’t

believe it.’

Strange but true...

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72

News from the Allways Group• With the summer now a distant memory, we allmust face shorter and colder days. Although we arenot subject to the freezing temperatures that muchof Europe experiences, we do have our fair share of

rainfall. So now would be the perfect time to checkover your property to make sure that it is protected

against damp. Some areas are plainly visible and areeasy to access. However, your roof is a different matter. This is

where THE ALLWAYS GROUP can help you.

• “The roof is a much neglected area of the home but is so important.” SaysRay Frost, the Director of the Allways Group. “Very often, the first sign ofroof failure is not on the roof itself but inside your home. Ceiling stains, flaking paint and plaster, peeling wallpaper, and discoloration near thewall/ceiling joint. They may appear negligible but serve as an advancewarning of future roofing problems. The staining may be caused by condensation but normally it’s an indication that water is seeping through,very often at joints and flashings in the roof.”

• “We have viewed properties with roofs that look perfect but on inspectionfound that the tiles simply turn to powder when handled and remember,properties that were built 30-40 years probably have no Damp ProofMembrane and are a high risk. It only takes one broken tile to allow theproblem to start.”

If you think you have a problem call visit www.theallwaysgroup.com See our ad on page 49

WWhhaatt’’ssNews

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Our vast range of products include Awnings (electric or manual), Persianas (Security Shutters also available in electric or

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Electric Sensor doors and a unique Mosquito screen system for doors and windows in all colours.

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KIDZ KINGDOM’s

Christmas Entertainment Guide

Holiday Season Activities(6th, 8th, 10th,11th & 17th December)It’s Christmas every day at KIDZ KINGDOM during the festive sea-

son and extra special on these selected dates with various activitiesthroughout the day and regular character visits. We’ll have the kidz mak-

ing there own gingerbread cookies, or decorating cupcakes, we’ll even try outmeringue snowmen, but whatever the activity, you’re guaranteed a fun

filled day with the kids while you take a break from all the chaos ofChristmas shopping. Or why not shop online using our Free Wificonnection. Our little elves will be at your disposal whateveryour command, while we entertain your little elves.

Visit Santa In His Grotto(6th, 8th, 10th,11th & 17th December, 3pm – 6pm)What would Christmas be without the Wonder of Santa?

Enchant your children with a visit to see the Real Santa Clause atKidz Kingdom. Watch their eyes light up with excitement as they

receive their special wrapped gift from Santa. It’ll be like a dreamcome true!

A ‘Snow White’ Christmas Party(Sunday 18th December, 12pm – 6pm)Join us for our Magical Christmas Party with heaps of entertainmentfor the whole family and various games and activities throughout theday. There’ll be plenty of magic tricks and organized party fun with

Wizzy the Wizard and Special Guest Appearances from your children’sfavourite Characters including Spiderman, Dora the Explora, our Beloved

Santa Clause and even Snow White herself. They’ll feel like they’re inside amini wonderland and if that’s not enough, there will be unlimited mince pies & mulled wine to getyou into the ‘Spirit’ of Christmas. See you there for an amazing fun filled day!!!

Call Now for More Details of our Seasonal Festivitieson 952 928 936

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74

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TThhrreeee CCoouupplleess Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and ayoung newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The priestsaid, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. Youmust abstain from having sex for two weeks."

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able toabstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The old man replied, "No problem at all, Priest." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the priest.

The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain fromsex for the two weeks?" The middle-aged man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yep we made it." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the priest.

The priest then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstainfrom sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the twoweeks," the young man replied sadly. "What happened?" inquired the priest.

"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it" said the youngman. "When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage ofher right there." "You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in ourchurch" stated the priest.

"We know," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the Supermarket anymore either..."


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s · Exhibitions

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· Clubs & Associations · Clubs & Associations s · Dinner Dates s · Dinner Dates s · Dinner Dates s · Dinner Dates s · Dinner Dates s · Dinner Dates s · Dinner Dates · Fund-rai · Fund-raisingsingsingsingsings · Exhibitions s · Exhibitions s · Exhibitions s · Exhibitions s · Exhibitions s · Exhibitions s · Exhibitions

es

sings · Dinner Dates · Fund-rai · Fund-rai

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Before After


76

CCHHrriissttmmaass mmuussiiCC There’s no escaping it, even if you’re one of those people who likes to

believe that Christmas doesn’t begin until mid-December, you’ll still be

confronted by those ubiquitous festive songs every time you walk into a

shop, bar or restaurant from now until the big day itself. It’s all designed to

get us into the Christmas spirit of course, well, at what other time of year

would we accept hearing songs that are 20 years old, several times a day?

So let’s take a look at some of those classic contenders…

All we want for Christmas is – some new music…

Let’s start with All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey. Found to be the most

popular Christmas song of the last decade, it’s surely the epitome of the Christmas heavyweight hit –

upbeat lyrics? Check; Frustratingly catchy tune? Check; appropriate use of sleigh bells? Check.

It remains Mariah’s best selling single in the UK, even though it only reached number 2 in the charts when

it was released in 1994 (beaten to the top spot by East 17’s Stay Another Day.

The last thing you want to hear at Christmas…

But Mariah’s formula isn’t the only way to score a Christmas hit, in fact Wham!’s 1984 song Last Christmas

is almost the antithesis of All I Want for Christmas - well having a pop at a former flame for their infidelity is

pretty un-Christmassy in our book. Wham! lost out on the festive number one spot to Band Aid but former

X Factor winner, Joe McElderry is having a go with his version this year, so who knows, it might be second

time lucky.

So here it is…again

A Christmas-themed song that did make it to number one is Merry Xmas Everybody, by Slade in 1973.

Maybe that explains why we’re still listening to hits from three decades ago: credibility and a Christmas

single don’t exactly go hand in hand these days. Imagine downloading a festive track by N-Dubz or Calvin

Harris… Continued on page 92


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78

Brain Teaser

Say What You See...

Across:

8. Former Italian currency (4)

9. Outrageous (10)

10. A domineering woman (6)

11. Languor (8)

12. Farewell gesture (4)

13. Guide (10)

17. Sediment (4)

18. Lacquer ingredient (5)

19. Smudge (4)

20. Fanatic (10)

22. Require (4)

23. Neither urban nor rural

(8)

27. Plaid (6)

28. Indiscretion (10)

29. One-quarter of a bushel

(4)

Puzzle It OutSolutionsSolutions

on page 90on page 90

Crossword

Down:

1. An annoying or frustrat-

ing event (10)

2. Budgie (8)

3. Relax (10)

4. It comes from sheep (4)

5. Adjoin (4)

6. Accomplish (6)

7. Cozy (4)

14. Letter before iota (5)

15. Coquetry (10)

16. Joyful enthusiasm (10)

19. Insolvent (8)

21. Hindquarters (6)

24. Utilizer (4)

25. What we sleep in (4)

26. Void (4)

Sudoku

Christmas Riddle - Santa set out for Scotland with all

his fabulous Christmas presents stashed in his

sleigh. Over the Orkney Isles some reindeer were too

exhausted to continue and stopped to rest. As they

flew across Fort William over enthusiastic hunters

shot down a number of reindeer.

Eventually 2/3rds of the reindeer arrive in Scotland:

200 in Glasgow, 120 in Edinburgh, 32 in Perth, 7 in

Stirling and 1 in Livingston.

How many set out from Lapland?

you just me GMADEB



Spanish Property Market Still DecliningMariano Rajoy, the favourite to win the national elections, has promised a clampdown onthe soured real-estate sector. With Spanish banks facing further losses of around 176Billion Euros, Mariano has demanded more realistic valuations on property.

Spanish home sales in September where down around 30% compared with last year.The year-to-date figures for 2011, are 20% below last year, and 56% below 2007. It isdifficult to envisage how housing turnover could fall further, without almost completestagnation.

“You have to remove any kind of shadow of doubt over the valuation that you have ofthese assets in your balance sheet,” Luis de Guindos, tipped by newspapers as a con-tender for finance minister in a new People’s Party government formed by Rajoy, said inan interview. De Guindos said he favoured stricter rules on how banks account fordepreciated land values. Spanish banks have set aside 105 billion euros since 2008 toabsorb a property crash that has left them holding unsold land, apartments and ware-houses. The “cleanup and restructuring” of Spain’s banking system is the top pledgeRajoy has made in his electoral program to fund the country’s recovery by boosting thesupply of credit.Unless the next Government takes radical steps to liberalise the economy, boostemployment, and force banks to stop keeping property prices artificially high, it’s hard tosee a way out of this dire situation. The demand market is shrinking fast, which is aclear indication that prices are still far too high.

Written by our financial expert James Alexander.If you would like fully regulated independent financial advice please

contact us – [email protected] or on 663 061 669.

FFIINNAANNCCIIAALLEconomic & Currency News...

80


Where is this going? Well it all seemed to be going wrong for the euro zone lastweek, It looked like the euro was on the brink of collapse, however by some miracle itdid not seem to go into free fall. As we know there was bad news in Greece, theGreek prime minister George Papendreou resigned, Italy’s Silvo Berlusconi, wassomewhat forced to step down, lets face it he had other interests that were far moreimportant to him than running the country.

There is still a lot of turmoil and uncertainty in the Euro zone and with the Euro. It doesnot look as though China will be helping the United States of Europe. There is talk of atwo tier Euro zone with a North, South divide. How will this help??????????????????Germany and France (Merkozy – Merkel and Sarkozy, not a contestant from big brother)are frantically trying to find a solution for the woes of euro land, however nothing con-crete seems to have been presented. At the moment Spain is the one to watch.

What has this done to the currency markets? Well nothing much really, as you wouldexpect the euro has weakened slightly, pushing sterling up a little higher, at the momentSterling is the highest it has been against the Euro since March this year. So if youhave been holding off on doing your money transfer from the UK to Spain, now wouldbe a good time to do this. Our currency partner Moneycorp can offer you expert guid-ance, so that you trade at the right time, giving you more money and making yourmoney go further.

Christmas is not far away, a few extra Euros in your pocket will definitely help.

Moneycorp are a UK FSA regulated company that have been dealing in foreignexchange since 1979. Deal with Moneycorp knowing that your funds will be safe andsecure. They have an office in Puerto Banus with a very friendly, helpful, professionalteam that will be more than happy to help with your enquiries.

Moneycorp can be contacted at 0034 951 319 700 or email [email protected]


One of the biggest celebrations this yearwas the 50th anniversary of the Jaguar E-Type , but many other iconic cars also cele-brated their 50th Birthday this year, theyinclude

Another Important release in 1961 fromJaguar, was the Mk 10, this was the first“modern Jaguar” and spawned the familiarlook with twin headlamps and wide grill thathas only just gone out of production. It wasone of the largest cars on the market at overseventeen feet long and six feet wide, mostpeople found it just too big!

The MG Midget, was released in 1961,essentially a re-bodied Austin HealeyFrogeyed Sprite, and was one of the cheap-est sports cars on the market, it was alsobadged as an Austin Healey Sprite until 1971and the Midget stayed in production until1980.

The versatile Renault 4 also made its firstappearance 50 years ago and was offeredinitially with the rear windows as an optionto keep prices down! It had many bodystyles such as cars, vans or pick-ups and isnow regarded as the first hatchback –although it was originally called an estate. Itremained in production until 1992 and soldover 8 million.

Another sporty offering in 1961 was the TR4from Triumph. This was a breakaway fromthe old style English roadsters and wasdesigned by Italian designer Michelotti. Itwas the first ever production car to offer aTarga style roof, which in those days wasknown as a “Surry Top”

Ford’s English division wanted to havesome of the style they were using inAmerica and introduced the Consul Classicand the two door fastback coupe – TheConsul Capri. Generally the styling was notwell received and The Classic was droppedafter two years and 111,225 sales. Only18,716 Capri’s were produced and it wasdropped in 1964.

82

HAPPY50th!



Golf Golf TTips And ips And TrTricksicks

Sponsored by Mark Sibley - Miraflores Golf Academy84

Club Selection

A set of golf clubs is a bag

of tools each one giving a

different result from the

same swing, knowing what

each club will do for you

using your swing is impor-

tant and something that

many golfers have no idea

of most of the time leading to the reparative

use of the favorite club in the bag with a

change of swing to achieve different results.

Once you know the distances each club gives

you then on course management becomes

easier to grasp, standing on the tee of a 300m

par 4 would mean a 200m tee shot would

leave 100m to the green, but only if you know

the distances you will get from your clubs

would you be able to select the club from

your bag to return the distance you need, so

for many players on every par 4 there is only

one club to take and one simple answer to the

problem hit it as hard as you can making the

next shot easy , the driver is the biggest club

in the bag and without question the one that

will hit the ball the furthest so the only choice

, many players I have watched over the years

can get 150m from one of their irons or a fair-

way wood with ease and accuracy making

two shots to the green not just probable but a

certainty , but they take out the driver and

smash into the rough the main reason, they

do not know or are not sure of the distances

each club returns and the closer he better is

course management in their game.

So how do you find out how far your clubs hit

the ball using your swing, if you have an open

practice ground attached to your golf club

take a piece of paper hit five balls with each

club, each time stopping after the five to pace

out the distance to where the majority have

landed write down the distance against the

club number and you have a reference to use

on course, as your game improves your dis-

tances are likely to increase so back to the

practice ground to recheck will keep the

scores down.

Driving ranges are not the best places to do

this you cannot walk forward to pace the dis-

tance and what you want is an accurate dis-

tance to work with on course, if you do not

have access to an open practice ground then

put the paper in your bag and as you use

each club on course pace to where the ball

finishes keeping a record, then working the

average to give you your distances you can

expect from your clubs.

By Mark Sibley

Golf Academy

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lubes Golf CCall Sonia now on 952 93 40 95

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es Golf Cafloraflores Golf CMirMiraflor

ebsite: wwwWEmail: [email protected]

el (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942TTel (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

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Christmas DinnerFeed Four For Less At Iceland

ICELAND STUFFED TURKEY JOINT 1.75KG ICELAND GOOSE FAT POTATOES 1KGICELAND COOKED & PEELED PRAWNS 375G HERITAGE SEAFOOD SAUCE 165G

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OOKED & PEELED PROOKED & PEELED PROOKED & PEELED PR

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ICELAND CAND CICEL

Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*ON/SAON/SACCAAAND BAND BICELICEL

TURKEY JOINT 1.75K


TURKEY JOINT 1.75KTURKEY JOINT 1.75KTURKEY JOINT 1.75KOOKED & PEELED PR

ON/SAON/SATURKEY JOINT 1.75KTURKEY JOINT 1.75KTURKEY JOINT 1.75KGTURKEY JOINT 1.75KGAND STUFFED


WNS 375GAND STUFFED

ON/SAAND STUFFED

WNS 375GOOKED & PEELED PROOKED & PEELED PRAAWNS 375GOOKED & PEELED PR

Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*USA OLLS 340G OLLS 340G GE RUSAON/SA

AND GOOSE F


AND GOOSE FAND GOOSE F


ICELICEL


GGGE SEAFOOD SAGE SEAFOOD SAAHERITHERITAWNS 375G

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OES 1KUCE 165G

Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*AS PUDDING 800G

T POAS PUDDING 800G

Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*AS PUDDING 800G

Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*AS PUDDING 800G

A

Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*AS PUDDING 800GAS PUDDING 800G

TTTTAS PUDDING 800GAS PUDDING 800GAS PUDDING 800GAS PUDDING 800G

Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*

OES 1KT


AATTTTAT POAS PUDDING 800G

T POAAS PUDDING 800G

AT POAND GOOSE FUCE 165G GE SEAFOOD SAGE SEAFOOD SA

Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*AS PUDDING 800GAS PUDDING 800GAS PUDDING 800GAND XMAND XM

G

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T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal


T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0

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San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*

T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0

San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*

T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0

San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*

T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal

San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*

w w w . o v e r s e a s . e s


T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0

San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*

w w w . o v e r s e a s . e sLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal

T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal

T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal

T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal

T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal

T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 T e l : 9 6 5 7 3 4 0 0 0 Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal

San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*


San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal

w w w . o v e r s e a s . e sw w w . o v e r s e a s . e sw w w . o v e r s e a s . e sw w w . o v e r s e a s . e sLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal


Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*

Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalSan Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*


San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*

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San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*

w w w . o v e r s e a s . e sLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugal


Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*

Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), Portugalw w w . o v e r s e a s . e s

Los Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalLos Cristianos*Las Americas*Guia ( Albufeira), PortugalSan Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*San Javier*Vera*Mijas*Puerto Banus* Las Chafiras*Javea*Benissa*Benidorm*San Fulgencio*Torrevieja*

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88

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90

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Just Say What You SeeJust between you and me

Made in Great Britain

Brain TeaserThe answer is 540 NOT 480!

2/3rds of 540 = 360!

Trivia Quiz Answers

1) Stevie Wonder

2) 90 degrees

3) Jacko

4) Lent

5) Aberdeen 6) 3

7) Reveille 8) Morocco

9) Red 10) Beaufort

11) Nick

12) One Man and His Dog

13) Bulgaria 14) Countdown

15) Toby 16) Madonna

17) 12 18) The Queen

19) Sepia 20) Charlton Heston

21) Red and Green 22) Potato

23) Right 24) Sardinia

25) Frederick Forsyth 26) Ceefax

27) Back 28) Belgium

29) St Paul’s Cathedral

30) Ford

Crossword Solution

ATTENTIONATTENTIONATTENTION

costa linkmagazine

will no longer accept advertising from the following

businesses or individuals:

wA1SSE Electricians

wNextaway.com

wSOLAR LIVING


Patio doors secured, Safes opened and fitted, Locks upgraded, Changed key holding.

Fully registered. Credit cards now taken.Call Bob and Debbie on:

952 660 233 - 667 668 685

Finding the right car for you!www.sol-traders.com

Offers a one stop shop, for buying and selling vehicles on the Costa del Sol

We offer an array of hint’s, tips and useful information when selling or purchasing a vehicle in Spain.

Not sure what it’s worth? Up to date Valuations!

Email - [email protected]@soltraders Sol Traders


F.A.M.A is a foundation set up and funded solely by voluntary contributions

to provided an acceptable standard of life to the abandoned animals

whilst in its care.For more information,

please visit our website:www.f-a-m-a.net

or contact Pat Colman on

620 354 885

FOUNDATION FOR ABANDONED AND

MISTREATED ANIMALS

Lucy & Linda

Beautiful Girls

Born 01.03.2011

They were found in the campo

They both have lovely temperaments

We have many other animals that need

a loving home please contact us for more

information

This is Tommy He is a lovely boy D.O.B. 1.1.2009

He has a very good characterNo problem with other dogs

This is ChicoHe is approx 2 years old He is such a sweet boy,

very calm, lovely character.Has been very ill,

but now fully recovered.

CCHHrriissttmmaass mmuussiiCC CCOONN’’ttThank goodness it isn’t Christmas every day…

We don’t know what they put in the water in 1973, but it produced two of

our top ten love to hate seasonal songs – yes there was a real battle for

Christmas number ones, with actual Christmas songs, hard to believe, isn’t

it. While Wizzard’s I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday might not have

made it to the top of the charts, it has been re-released several times over

the years, and regularly features on Christmas compilation albums, so it feels

like Wizzard have got their wish, after all.

Yes, we’re pretty sure everyone knows it’s Christmas…

The 1980s introduced us to a new kind of Christmas single – the charity record. If ever there was a song to

tug at the heart-strings and make us take a step back from tinsel and mince pies, it’s Do They Know It’s

Christmas by Band Aid, which took a selection of current chart stars and turned them into a super group.

It’s the only song to top the Christmas charts three times, in 1984, 1989 and 2004, and succeeded in rais-

ing millions of pounds and awareness of famine in Ethiopia.

Don’t hurry down the chimney… Santa Baby is probably one of the most covered Christmas songs of all

time, despite achieving no real chart success in the UK. Since Eartha Kitt released the original in 1953, it’s

been sung by everyone from Kylie to Britney, Madonna, The Pussycat Dolls and even Miss Piggy, which

might explain why it’s impossible to avoid at this time of year.

Simply wishing it wasn’t so catchy... Paul McCartney showed off his skills by singing and playing all the

instruments when he recorded Wonderful Christmas Time in 1979 (so maybe Christmas comes several

times each year for Sir Paul in the form of royalty cheques). With Christmas CDs on loop in all our favourite

stores, plus the work Christmas party, there’s really no getting away from the perennial Christmas songs

but when you think of the 90s and the novelty singles by the likes of Mr Blobby and Bob the Builder, per-

haps these classic favourites aren’t so bad…

92





96

The three wise men arrived to visit thechild lying in the manger. One of the

wise men was exceptionally tall, andbumped his head on the low doorway ashe entered the stable. “Jesus Christ!” he

shouted. Joseph said, “Write thatdown, Mary; it's better than Clyde!”

Who's the bane of Santa's life?

The elf and safety officer

Christmas morning, a policeman on horse-

back was sitting at a traffic light, and next

to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The

policeman said to the kid, “Nice bike you

got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The

kid said, “Yeah.” The policeman said, “Well

next year, tell Santa to put a tail light on

that bike.” The cop then proceeded to issue

the kid a €20.00 bicycle safety violation

ticket. The kid took the ticket. Before he

rode off he said, “By the way, that's a nice

horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to

you?” Humoring the kid, the policeman

said, “Yeah, he sure did.” The kid said,

“Well next year tell Santa to put the dick

underneath the horse, instead of on top.”

What's the slogan for the Eskimo

lottery? 'You've got to be Inuit to win

you it!'

An Australian, an Irishman and aGlaswegian are in a bar. They're staringat another man sitting on his own at a

table in the corner. He's so familiar, andnot recognising him is driving them mad.They stare and stare, until suddenly theIrishman twigs: “My God, it's Jesus!” Sure

enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.Thrilled, they send him over a pint of

Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a bottleof Buckfast. Jesus accepts the drinks,

smiles over at the three men, and drinksthe pints slowly, one after another. Afterhe's finished the drinks, Jesusapproaches the trio. He reaches for thehand of the Irishman and shakes it,thanking him for the Guinness. When helets go, the Irishman gives a cry ofamazement: “My God! The arthritis I'vehad for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!”Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand,thanking him for the lager. As he lets go,the man's eyes widen in shock. “Strewthmate, the bad back I've had all my life iscompletely gone! It's a miracle.” Jesusthen approaches the Glaswegian whoknocks over a chair and a table in tryingto get away from the Son of God. “What'swrong my son?” says Jesus. TheGlaswegian shouts, “You f*** off, I'm ondisability benefit!”

How do you know if Santa is really a

werewolf? He has Santa claws!

TThheeJJookkeessppaaggee


MANUFACTURES OF ALUMINIUM WINDOWS & DOORSDOUBLE GLAZING, INSECT SCREENS, AWNINGS & BLINDS, KOMMERLING PVC

Please give us the opportunity to save you money on your next project, let us give you a FREE quote

Our extensive knowledge of the current building regulations can help you create the perfect window, door or screen

Telephone & Fax 952 805 267 Mobile 600 082 [email protected] - www.tecnoaluminio.com

WORKSHOP - C/Cerillo, 4 Polígono Industrial, 29680 Estepona Tlf: 951 273 933SHOWROOM - Nueva Estebbuna, C/Monterosso, 82 Estepona Tlf: 952 825 267

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echoaluminioo@tinfinfo@telephone & FTTelephone & F

, 82 Estossoertonebbuna, C/Ma Est, 29680 Estialndustrolígono I, 4 P

ecnoaluminio.tom - www.cechoaluminioobile 600 082 288ax 952 805 267 Melephone & F

: 952 825 267lfTepona , 82 Est: 951 273 933lfTepona , 29680 Est

om.cecnoaluminioobile 600 082 288


98



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Costa Link Magazine December 2011