COURT TOOLS PACKET - americanintegritycourses.com · Locus of control and decision making ☐ o ☐Locus of control examples o ☐Where is your locus of control? Activity: The locus

DEC MAKING GEN 1

NAME and Case # Type Students Full name and court case # (or cell phone #)

DATE (MM/DD/YYYY)

COURT TOOLS PACKET AIC. American Integrity Courses

Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]

CONTENTS:

Tools for Success Checklist / Proof of

Enrollment / Progress Reports / Workbook

Assessments & Activities

Court Ordered Course / Program Decision Making Critical Thinking Course

DEC MAKING GEN 2

DATE

AIC. American Integrity Courses

Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]

TOOLS FOR SUCCESS IN COURT CHECKLIST

SECTION 1-10 | DECISION MAKING CRITICAL THINKING COURSE |

TOOLS FOR SUCCESS STUDENT CHECKLIST FOR CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION DONE

1. PRINT this list: TOOLS FOR SUCCESS IN COURT (print page 2 of this packet) ☐

2. PRINT any letters needed: Letter to the Judge, Letter to the Probation Officer, Letter of

Class Format (found at www.americanintegritycourses.com)

☐

3. PRINT your Proof of Enrollment (PE) (page 3 in this packet) ☐

Step 1: Choose the date, TYPE in your name and PE # (or court case #) using adobe acrobat ☐

Step 2: PRINT PE (to print PE only, print page 4--in this packet) ☐

4. PRINT & COMPLETE the Workbook (print pages 14-71 to print only the workbook) ☐

5. PREPARE & PRINT your Progress Reports (PRs) after completing each course section (to

print PRs only, print pages 4-13 in this packet) NOTE: Don't forget to add the dates to PRs 5-10!!!

☐

Step 1: TYPE in the date, type in your name and progress report # (court case #) ☐

Step 2: CHECK OFF the completed items (click DONE) and SIGN the report below the required time for each

section (to print only the PRs print pages 4-13—in this packet)

☐

Step 3— DATE, PRINT SIGN out each progress report as each section is completed. ☐

6. TAKE our free 1 hour BIP/DV or Drinking and Driving VICTIMS IMPACT PANEL COURSE (at

www.americanintegritycourses.com) Print Certificate of completion.

☐

7. PRINT out your CERTIFICATE OF COMPLETION (emailed to you at end of program). ☐

8. PRINT out your course COMPLETION REPORT (emailed to you at end of program). ☐

9. PRINT out LETTER OF APOLOGY to guide you in writing your own personal letter (found at

www.americanintegritycourses.com)

☐

10. *IMPORTANT* The Judge/Court Officials will want to see proof of your efforts. These

tools are available for you to take to court to get your course approved by the court.

Please print out this list as a guide and take ALL of the tools available in your course with

you to court as proof of your progress, efforts & accomplishment

☐

______

Court Pack DECADL10 4


Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected] DATE

PROGRESS REPORT: DECISION MAKING CRITICAL THINKING COURSE

SECTION 1 | INTRODUCTION TO DECISION MAKING CRITICAL THINKING |

I, , CERTIFY I have completed this section.

Student’s Signature (sign here)

STUDENT NAME: AND REPORT # Student’s TYPED Full Name and Court Case Number (Progress Report Number)

SECTION 1 CONTENT: INTRODUCTION DECISION MAKING CRITICAL THINKING COURSE 10 HOURS DONE INITIALS

Why is decision making so important? ☐

Your decisions decide your destiny because… ☐

The cycles of bad decisions versus good decisions ☐

What is critical thinking? ☐

The frontal cortex and decision making ☐

The amygdala and decision making ☐

Emotional decision making ☐

Why most decisions are based on feelings ☐

Why do people make bad decisions? ☐

The recipe for good decision making ☐

All good decisions consider the well-being of self and others. ☐

Effective decision making and critical thinking skills ☐

Your brain on decisions: reasoning, logic and emotions ☐

Good decision making is a learned skill! ☐

Activity: The decision making ability assessment ☐

Decision making ability assessment results: ☐

Research in effective decision making ☐

Thoughts, decision making, direction and destiny ☐

7 lovely logics: ☐

Complete the Section PPT Presentation and Section Final Exam Questions ☐

Complete the Section Workbook Assessments, Self-Reports and Activities ☐

DEC MAKING GEN 5

__ DATE AIC. American Integrity Courses

Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]


SECTION 2 | COMMUNATION STYLE, PERSONALITY AND DECISION MAKING |




SECTION 2 CONTENT: COMMUNICATION STYLE, PERSONALITY AND DECISION MAKING DONE INITIALS

Why communication style has a direct impact on decision making skills. ☐

Aggressive, assertive and passive communication ☐

Assertiveness is not the same as aggressiveness. ☐

Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness and Expect Others to do the Same ☐

ACTIVITY: The communication assessment ☐

Communication research ☐

Current communication research ☐

Personality types a & b & decision making ☐

o Type A personality: ☐

o Type B personality: ☐

o Taking the personality assessment ☐

Activity: The personality assessment ☐

o Personality assessment results ☐

o Personality type a & type b research ☐

Locus of control and decision making ☐

o Locus of control examples ☐

o Where is your locus of control? ☐

Activity: The locus of control assessment ☐



DEC MAKING GEN 6

_ DATE AIC. American Integrity Courses

Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]


SECTION 3 | MINDFULNESS, FAULTY THINKING AND DECISION MAKING |

I, , CERTIFY I have completed this section Student’s Signature (sign here)


SECTION 3 CONTENT: MINDFULNESS, FAULTY THINKING AND DECISION MAKING DONE INITIALS

Mindfulness and decision making ☐

Mindfulness versus un-mindfulness ☐

3 un-mindful decision making practices ☐

Activity: The mindfulness decision making assessment ☐

Thoughts, emotions and decisions: Thoughts=emotions=decisions ☐

Your thoughts effect your emotions—Your emotions effect your thoughts ☐

7 common unhealthy thinking patterns to avoid: ☐

All-or-None Thinking- Catastrophizing- Labeling- Discounting the Positive- Mind Reading- Internalization- Emotional Reasoning-

☐

7 healthy thinking patterns to adopt: 1. Be realistic in your thinking-- 2. Avoid absolutes-- 3. React to what is real not imagined-- 4. Don’t guess -- 5. Consider the whole-- 6. Just because you feel something, doesn’t make it true-- 7. Own responsibility for your own happiness

☐

Question your thinking: What evidence do I have for/against this thought? Are there times when this thought hasn't been true? Do I have this kind of thought when I am feeling really good or mostly when I’m feeling sad or angry? What would I tell someone I really care about who was having this kind of thought? Is it possible that I am having this thought just out of habit? Alternative explanations? What can I do about negative thoughts?

☐

3 basic truths to deal with negative thinking: ☐

1. BELIEVE your life is exactly as it should be- 2. PRACTICE Non-Judgment-- 3. RELEASE yourself from the burden of expectations

☐

Mindfulness and decision making: Mindfulness versus Un-mindfulness ☐

3 un-mindful decision making practices ☐

ACTIVITY: The mindfulness decision making assessment ☐





Phone: 936-333-0087



SECTION 4 | EMOTIONS, STRESS AND DECISION MAKING/CRITICAL THINKING |




SECTION 4 CONTENT: EMOTIONS, STRESS AND DECISION MAKING / CRITICAL THINKING DONE INITIALS

Understanding emotions ☐

Can emotions be controlled? ☐

Emotions: reinforced by thoughts and behavior ☐

Emotional decision making versus thoughtful decision making ☐

The secret about emotions ☐

The connection between decision making & stress ☐

How stress affects decision making ☐

Stress: facts and myths ☐

Activity: The stress assessment ☐

Can thoughts cause stress? ☐

The effects of stress on you ☐

The effects of ACUTE stress ☐

The effects of CHRONIC stress ☐

How important is stress relief? ☐

The mind body connection ☐

Positive thinking and behavior ☐

Your life revolves around YOUR THOUGHTS ☐

Understanding thoughts and emotions: Can thoughts be controlled? ☐



_


DATE


Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]


SECTION 5 | DECISION MAKING SCENARIOS: MAKING PRESSURED DECISIONS |




SECTION 5 CONTENT: DECISION MAKING SCENARIOS: MAKING DECISIONS UNDER PRESSURE DONE INITIALS

Pressure, Emotions and Decision Making ☐

Making Decisions in a Pressure Environment ☐

Making Decisions Under Peer Pressure: Techniques and Tactics ☐

ACTIVITY: What should I decide? 5 Decision Making Scenarios ☐

Scenario 1: Jon’s Dilemma-Alcohol and Minors ☐

Scenario 1 Solution: Understanding Zero Tolerance and Adult Responsibility ☐

Scenario 2: May’s Escape-Peer Pressure and Criminal Behavior ☐

Scenario 2 Solution: Understanding Criminal Behavior in Group Settings ☐

Scenario 3: Shawn’s Response-Violence and Alcohol ☐

Scenario 3 Solution: Understanding the Difference Between Self-Defense and Walking Away ☐

Scenario 4: Alex’s Test-Drinking and Driving ☐

Scenario 4 Solution: Understanding the Law and DWI ☐

Scenario 5: Linda’s Choice: Delinquency and Parenting ☐

Scenario 5 Solution: Understanding the Law and Tolerating Delinquency as a Parent ☐

Emotions in Relationship to Decision Making ☐

How Thoughts Effect Emotions and their Relationship to Decision Making ☐

Activating Critical Thinking Under Pressure ☐

Making the Decision to Decide Your Own Destiny ☐



______



Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]

DATE


SECTION 6 | DECISION MAKING AND THE POWER OF THOUGHT |




SECTION 6 CONTENT: DECISION MAKING AND THE POWER OF THOUGHT DONE INITIALS

The power of thought ☐

Thoughts as powerful life tools ☐

How thoughts create emotions, form your opinions, affect your decisions, affect your relationships, affect the way you view the world and the way you see yourself and others

☐

Negative thinking: A vicious cycle ☐

Can I control my own emotions? ☐

Controlling thoughts, emotions and behavior ☐

The truth about emotions: The secret about emotions ☐

How—any emotion that you consistently act upon becomes stronger. ☐

If you exercise your anger it will logically get stronger. ☐

The power of positive thinking: Effecting your health and well-being ☐

Break the chains of negative emotion! ☐

Negative emotions: The dominant emotions behind all problem behavior ☐

Emotions and momentum: Choosing your focus ☐

How to slow the momentum of negative emotions and speed up the momentum of positive emotions by choosing what to think or focus on

☐

What can I do about negative thoughts? ☐

Thoughts are habit, not an indication of truth. ☐

Positive thinking and behavior ☐

Your thoughts are powerful ☐




DATE


Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]


SECTION 7 | COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING AND THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS |




SECTION 7 CONTENT: COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING AND THE DECSION MAKING PROCESS DONE INITIALS

Cognitive restructuring: Guiding thought and directing decision making ☐

Changing the way you think to guide decisions in the right direction ☐

What you think—or decide—is what you become ☐

Changing thoughts to control emotions and guide decisions in the right direction ☐

How to change your thought patterns and take control of your emotions ☐

How Thoughts form the emotional starting point of your emotional pain or bliss. ☐

o Emotions and change ☐

o Emotional momentum: The momentum of anger ☐

Anger, an emotional muscle: Exercise makes it stronger and easier to use ☐

The key to managing anger: Awareness of your emotions- negative and positive ☐

Know your emotions: Stopping emotions before they gain momentum ☐

Understanding the Emotional Guidance Scale ☐

Guiding emotions from rage to revenge to blame to frustration to contentment ☐

o Know your joy: Climbing the emotional guidance scale ☐

o Guiding anger toward boredom or contentment. ☐

o Thought Processing and the Downward Spiral ☐

o Thought Processing and the Upward Spiral ☐

The complete emotional guidance scales: from powerlessness to boredom ☐

Inner chatter or your inner dialogue sets the stage for your emotional path. ☐



____



Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]

DATE PROGRESS REPORT: DECISION MAKING CRITICAL THINKING COURSE

SECTION 8 |GUIDING DECISIONS: STEPS AND TECHNIQUES TO POSITIVE THOUGHT |




SECTION 8 CONTENT: GUIDING DECISIONS: STEPS AND TECHNIQUES TO POSITIVE THOUGHT DONE INITIALS

Realizing the future and present direction of your thoughts ☐

Directing your thoughts in a positive direction ☐

Understanding the negative consequences of a negative thought direction ☐

Realizing the positive consequences of a positive thought direction ☐

A technique to train your thoughts and emotions ☐

The 3 steps to positive thinking: 1) Believe your life is exactly as it should be; 2) Practice Non- judgment; 3) Release yourself from the burden of expectations

☐

Positive thinking step 1 ☐

Believing in the exactness of life: The perfect environment for a learning and growing experience

☐


Practicing Non-Judgment-practice allowing things to just be…allow yourself to relax into the idea: “it is what it is, let’s move forward from here…”

☐


Release yourself from the burden of expectations- Relaxing into the idea that your life is a perfect learning and growing experience for you

☐

ACTIVITIES: The positive thinking activities ☐

These 3 steps to positive thinking: A powerful method of focus in a positive life direction ☐

Easing stress and increasing health and wellbeing. ☐

How to use the thought management techniques ☐




DATE


Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]


SECTION 9 | DECISION MAKING AND MANAGING POWERFUL THOUGHTS |




SECTION 9 CONTENT: DECISION MAKING AND MANAGING POWERFUL THOUGHTS DONE INITIALS

6 thought management techniques: Becoming what you think ☐

How to implement the proven methods: Creating Change in your life ☐

Understanding and awareness of the techniques ☐

The 6 simple thought management techniques: Simple but powerful ☐

ACTIVITY: Implementation of the techniques ☐

Thought management tip #1- Explore the Real Reason for negative emotions and decide if reacting is worth it

☐

ACTIVITY: Complete the thought management tip 1 exercise. ☐

Thought management tip #2- Get in the habit of not judging anything ☐

ACTIVITY: Complete the thought management tip 2 exercise ☐

Thought management tip #3- Let go of the outcome or result of events, circumstances and situations. ☐


Thought management tip #4- Take a time out ☐


Thought management tip #5- Maintain your personal power. ☐


Thought management tip #6 Understanding thought management is a journey of change! ☐

ACTIVITY: Complete the thought management tip 6 exercise

Complete Section PPT Presentation and Final Exam Questions


_

Court Pack DECADL10 13 AIC. American Integrity Courses

Phone: 936-333-0087



SECTION 10 |DECISION ACTIVITY: THOUGHT MANAGEMENT STRATEGY & GOALS |




SECTION 10 CONTENT: DECISION MAKING ACTIVITY: THOUGHT MANAGEMENT STRATEGY & GOALS DONE INITIALS

THOUGHT MANAGEMENT STRATEGY AND GOALS ☐

ACTIVITY: How do I know when I’m having negative or positive thoughts? ☐

ACTIVITY: How do I feel inside when I’m think negatively? Positively? ☐

ACTIVITY: What actions do I take regarding my negative thinking? ☐

ACTIVITY: The last time I was thinking negative thoughts, what happened? ☐

ACTIVITY: What are the reasons for my negative thinking? ☐

If negative thinking leads to negative emotions and negative emotions lead to negative behavior, what problems have been caused by my negative thinking? Complete the activity

☐

ACTIVITY: What relieves my negative thinking? ☐

ACTIVITY: What is stopping me from being happy? What make me happy? ☐

ACTIVITY: If I leave my current situation, will my negative feelings lessen? ☐

ACTIVITY: Do I hold everyone (myself) responsible for their own happiness? ☐

ACTIVITY: Identify a situation causing you to begin thinking negative thoughts. ☐

ACTIVITY: Identify a situation causing you to begin thinking positive thoughts. ☐

ACTIVITY: Goals/Expectations: ☐

ACTIVITY: Write down any positive aspects in your life. ☐

ACTIVTY: Describe any benefits of thinking positively. ☐

ACTIVITY: Has good come into your life due to thinking positively? ☐

ACTIVITY: Do you feel that happiness is a worthy accomplishment in life? ☐

ACTIVITY: What would you like to start doing differently? ☐




DATE


Phone: 936-333-0087

[email protected]

WORKBOOK: DECISION MAKING CRITICAL THINKING COURSE

SECTIONS 1-10 | COURSE MATERIAL ASSESSMENTS SELF-REPORTS ACTIVITIES |

STUDENT NAME: AND REPORT #

Evidence of My Commitment to: Behavior that Promotes Health and Well-being

INSTRUCTIONS: Check all of the circles indicating your understanding of the material:

The Decision Making and Critical Thinking Workbook is evidence of your commitment to

decision making that promotes and supports health and well-being.

This workbook contains information from the program including the program content and all

assessments and activities designed to help you apply the principles of the program into your life

experience.

This program will give you valuable insight into the dynamics of decision making in order to

help you apply critical thinking and mindfulness in an effort to direct thought patterns in a more

positive direction improving your emotional state and guiding your behaviors in a more positive

direction to help you direct your life and destiny towards health and wellbeing.

This program will teach you powerful techniques to recognize and change thought patterns

which control emotions which are the catapult to behaviors. It will help you better manage

emotions and stress and enhance your decision making abilities while giving you tools to free

yourself from the cycle of negative thought patterns and uncontrolled emotional states. This

program is designed to improve your decision making and critical thinking skills and enhance

your health and wellbeing.

THE GOAL OF THIS PROGRAM IS:

o To help you understand what critical thinking and mindfulness is and how better

decision making can enhance your health and improve your state of wellbeing.

o To help you understand how destructive decisions diminishes your state of health and well-

being and create problems and trouble in your life and how developing healthy thought

patterns and practicing positive thinking can improve your quality of life.


o To give you educational assessments and activities to help you make decisions that have the

sole the intention of benefiting your health and well-being as well as the health and well-

being of your partner, children and extended family.

o To inform and educate you to help you accept the responsibility of your own behavior as well

as the responsibility to create your own happiness.

o To emphasize your control over your own state of health and well-being through positive

thoughts and how this effects emotional states.

o To teach you how your thoughts affects your decision making abilities and how to change

your thought process to create better things in your life that ENHANCE your wellbeing.

o To promote a peaceful family life that includes a focus on health and wellbeing for yourself,

your partner and your family.

o

o You and only you possess the power that creates your life and directs your destiny.

o Through proven techniques, learn to think positively to change the direction of your thoughts and emotions and make wise decisions that benefit your wellbeing, keep you on the right path, and help you regain control of your destiny.

o *Program Documentation (listed below in “what to take to court”)

o *Section PPT Presentation

o & Section Final Exam Questions

o *Workbook- Course Material, Assessments, Self-Reports and Activities

1. Proof of Enrollment

2. Progress Reports (in the Tools Packet)

3. Workbook (in the Tools Packet)

4. Certificate of Completion (instantly emailed)

5. Completion Report (instantly emailed)

o EACH SECTION CONTAINS THE FOLLOWING:

o WHAT TO TAKE TO COURT:


PROGRAM OVERVIEW

SECTION 1- Introduction to Decision Making and Critical

Thinking

SECTION 2- Communication Style, Personality and Decision

making

SECTION 3- Mindfulness, Faulty Thinking and Decision Making

SECTION 4- Emotions, Stress and Decision Making

SECTION 5- Decision Making Scenarios: Making Pressured

Decisions

SECTION 6- Decision Making and the Power of Thought

SECTION 7- Cognitive Restructuring and the Decision Making

Process

SECTION 8- Guiding Decisions: Steps and Techniques to Positive

Thought

SECTION 9- Decision Making and Managing Powerful Thoughts

SECTION 10- Decision Making Activity: Thought Management

Strategies and Goals

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SECTION 1- INTRODUCTION TO DECISION MAKING AND CRITICAL THINKING-

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHY IS DECISION MAKING SO IMPORTANT?

o Every decision that you make points you in a certain direction in your life.

o Bad decisions can keep getting you into trouble until you start making good decisions.

o In other words, your life and your destiny are designed by YOU through your decisions.

o Bad decisions can lead to a cycle of problems.

o Start making good decisions and your life will take a different direction, because…

o YOUR DECISIONS DECIDE YOUR DESTINY…

o Bad decisions lead to a cycle of irritations, hassles, problems and more bad decisions…

o Good Decisions Will Point You in a New Direction


WHAT IS CRITICAL THINKING?

o Critical thinking involves criticizing or questioning the decision that you are about to make

by asking the following questions:

o Do I have all the necessary information? Or are you missing something?

o Is there any conflict in the evidence? Does something in my decision not make sense?

o Now think of alternate decisions. Is the outcome better? Worse? o Now play the devils advocate and try to oppose your own decision. As the devil’s advocate,

you argue that your own decision is wrong. How does your decision hold up?

o Critical thinking is when you apply criticism to a decision that you are making

THE FRONTAL CORTEX AND DECISION MAKING

o A region of the brain known as the amygdala which controls instincts and emotions like fear,

aggression, happiness and rage develops early on…

o The frontal cortex, which controls reasoning and decision making isn’t fully developed until

the late 20’s. o Interestingly, when the brains of adolescents are scanned during decision making and

critical thinking, they are mostly using the amygdala, compared to most adults who are actively using the frontal cortex.

o the human brain makes decisions based on logic and reasoning or emotions

THE AMYGDALA AND DECISION MAKING

o Excellent decisions are more likely to be made when they are based on “feel good emotions”

o And bad decisions are more likely to be made when they are based on “feel bad emotions”

o Making decisions based on the way you feel is a highly effective method of good decision

making provided that you FEEL GOOD about the decision you are making.

o When people feel bad, their decision making naturally suffers.

o GOOD FEELINGS=GOOD DECISIONS BAD FEELINGS=BAD DECISIONS

MOST DECISIONS ARE BASED ON FEELINGS

o Of course using logic and reasoning is ideal for making good decisions. o However, when making decisions based on emotions it is important to remember that feel

bad emotions equal poor decisions.

o In either case, good decisions can be made using logic and reasoning or sound, feel good,

emotions.

WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE BAD DECISIONS?

o What is the recipe for good decision making? o Young adults who make bad decisions may get involved in crime, abuse drugs, get pregnant,

drop out of school, or generally find themselves in trouble.

o Adults also make bad decisions as a result of not developing good decision making and

critical thinking skills, or using their emotions to make decisions without considering the

quality of the emotion they are basing their decisions on.

o Remember: all good decisions consider the well-being of self and others.

o Effective decision making and critical thinking are skills that can be developed


YOUR BRAIN ON DECISIONS

o Brain center activation doesn’t really have much to do with the ability to make good

decisions.

o Understanding how your brain functions when you make decisions can help you improve your decision making skills.

o So, it is important to understand that making decisions based on emotions or the way you feel must be done with caution.

o When people feel good and consider the wellbeing of self and others, they make better decisions.

o Making decisions based on emotions CAN and DO result in making good decisions.

GOOD DECISION MAKING IS A LEARNED SKILL!

o While emotions cannot be controlled (they just happen and you feel them). The way you

act out your emotions—your behavior—can be controlled. o Behavior, including critical thinking and decision making, is a learned skill and

behavior is a choice. o You must consciously practice critical thinking and decision making skills to get good at

it!

TAKING THE DECISION MAKING ABILITY ASSESSMENT

o Mark each question as yes or no and count the number of yes responses when

completed

DECISION MAKING ABILITY ASSESSMENT

The decision assessment determines your ability or potential to make effective decisions.

Mark each statement as Y (yes) or N (no) and count the number of yes responses when

completed

Y or N

1 Sometimes I wonder why I made a certain decision in the past

2 Sometimes I regret some of the decisions I have made in the past

3 Sometimes I think about decisions I should have made instead

4 At times I have changed my mind from a bad decision to a good decision

5 At times I have changed my mind from a good decision to a bad decision which I

later regretted.

6 I can clearly see some of the mistakes I have made in my decision making

7 I feel like making good decision can be easy instead of hard

8 I have confidence in my ability to make good decisions—if I really wanted to

9 I can easily spot a bad decision when someone else is about to make it

10 I have given family and friends good decision making advise in the past

11 I have talked family or friends into making bad decisions in the past, which I later regretted.

12 Deep down inside I know that making better decisions can help me in my life

13 Deep down inside I feel that I need to improve my decision making


DECISION MAKING ABILITY ASSESSMENT RESULTS:

o A high score indicates a potential for excellence in decision making and critical thinking

skills (7-13 points)

o A lower score indicates a need for critical thinking training to reach excellence in decision

making (1-6 points)

RESEARCH IN EFFECTIVE DECISION MAKING

o The bottom line is that everyone makes decision mistakes once in a while. The key to having

excellent decision making skills is recognizing those mistakes and using them as

opportunities to learn and improve.

Current Research Suggests:

o People with a strong sense of their decision making errors are more likely to improve and

become better at critical thinking and decision making.

o Understanding that mistakes are OPPORTUNITIES for personal growth can build self-

esteem and self-efficacy (self-empowerment).

o Developing decision making skills starts with viewing life as containing the opportunities for

change necessary for personal growth and wellbeing.

THOUGHTS, DECISION MAKING, DIRECTION AND DESTINY

o Your thoughts direct your decisions (hundreds of them every day) and determine your

direction in life and ultimately decide your destiny.

o Good decisions that take into consideration your happiness as well as the happiness of those

around you, keep your life in a direction that nurtures your health and well-being.

o In other words, your life and your destiny are designed by YOU through YOUR thoughts and

decisions.

o Good decisions lead to a cycle of health and well-being.

o Start making good decisions and your life will take a similarly good direction, because…

o YOUR DECISIONS DECIDE YOUR DESTINY…

o YOUR Decisions Determine YOUR Destiny: Good decisions point you in a positive

direction (toward a positive destiny)

NICE WORK! END OF SECTION 1

7 lovely logics: 1) make peace with your past so it doesn’t spoil your present; 2) what others

think of you is none of your business; 3) time heals almost everything, give the time some time;

4) no one is the reason for your happiness except you yourself; 5) don’t compare your life with

others, you have no idea what their journey is all about; 6) stop thinking so much, it’s alright not

to know all of the answers; 7) smile, you do not own all of the problems of the world


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SECTION 2- COMMUNICATION, PERSONALITY & DECISION MAKING----------------

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All good decisions ignore where you are and focus on where you want to be

COMMUNICATION STYLE AND DECISION MAKING

o Communication style has a direct impact on decision making skills.

o Have you ever noticed that some people capture everyone’s attention when they speak?

o While others can’t seem to capture anyone’s attention? They speak and no one listens. o Have you noticed that when you make decisions based on concern for yourself and others,

the quality of the decision is enhanced?

o So, what's the secret ingredient to effective decision making and communication in

general?

o You are actually sending a secret message when you communicate.

AGGRESSIVE, ASSERTIVE AND PASSIVE COMMUNICATION

o Psychologically, our communication style sends a strong aggressive, passive or assertive

message when we speak.

o One communication style involves directness or how direct we are in expressing our views,

wants and opinions – some people can be very direct or blunt and others less so – they might

imply or infer.

o Another feature involves the consideration that the sender of the message gives to the

opinions, wants and needs of the recipient—some people can be very thoughtful and others

can be thoughtless, rude or too blunt.

o Assertive communication is the best way to communicate your decisions to others.

WINNER AND LOSER COMMUNICATION

o Assertiveness is not the same as aggressiveness.

o Are you an aggressive communicator?

o Do you violate the rights of others when communicating?

o Do others react to you by feeling angry or upset when you communicate?

o Do you intend to win, or do you intend to be fair to all concerned? o Your happiness and well-being is extremely important. There is a delicate balance when

considering the needs and feelings of others, because ultimately:

o YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS and Others are

Responsible for their own happiness.

TAKING THE COMMUNICATION ASSESSMENT

o Rate each statement as excellent or needs improvement to enhance awareness of your

communication abilities.


o Give this assessment to your friends and family and have them fill it out with YOUR communication style in mind. This will help you enhance your awareness of how others view your communication abilities

o There are no right or wrong answers. This way you can gather feedback about your

communication skills. Rate your self (or your partner) on the items to the left:

o 5 = excellent 4 = very good 3 = not so good 1 = needs a lot of improvement

COMMUNICATION ASSESSMENT

COMMUNICATION ASSESSMENT

WHILE COMMUNICATING… Rate each statement from (5)excellent to (1)not good

1. I am concise and to the point 5 4 3 2 1

2. I express myself clearly 5 4 3 2 1

3. I regulate the tone of my voice to convey precise meaning 5 4 3 2 1

4. I use appropriate body gestures and facial expressions 5 4 3 2 1

5. I am assertive and definite, rather than hesitant and apologetic 5 4 3 2 1

6. I summarize the key points for clarity 5 4 3 2 1

7. I am direct, I do not “beat around the bush.” 5 4 3 2 1

8. I am specific and give examples to make my points clear 5 4 3 2 1

9. I directly let others know when I do not understand them 5 4 3 2 1

10. I pause to ask others if they understand me. 5 4 3 2 1

11. I encourage others to participate in the discussion. 5 4 3 2 1

12. I listen while expressing interest 5 4 3 2 1

13. I don’t get too emotional or aggressive when speaking 5 4 3 2 1

14. I do not react negatively to the feelings of others 5 4 3 2 1

15. I listen to understand rather than just waiting for my turn to speak 5 4 3 2 1

16. I avoid using slangs; I use simple language the listener will understand 5 4 3 2 1

17. I give equal respect to others as valuable communicators 5 4 3 2 1

18. I try to see the other person’s point of view 5 4 3 2 1

19. I stay focused while communicating 5 4 3 2 1

20. I can tolerate silence well 5 4 3 2 1


o If your answers are all close to 5s (or excellent), then you are a very effective

communicator.

o If your answers are lower--work on your communication and take the assessment

again at a later date.

o To gather more accurate information, let your family and friends rate your

communication skills (and vice versa) to get feedback from others who know you

about your communication skills.

COMMUNICATION RESEARCH

o People who can effectively communicate are more respected and more likely to be successful.

Current research suggests:

o Assertive communicators are happier, healthier and have more meaningful relationships. .

o If your communication style is less than assertive, please don’t worry! Assertive communication can be learned.

o Communication style is a learned behavior. By being aware of your communication style and taking into consideration how others view your communication style, you can plant the seeds of change.

PERSONALITY TYPES A & B & DECISION MAKING

o Did you know that some personality types are better at effective decision making than others?

o TYPE A PERSONALITY: Type A’s are more prone to making decision without thinking them through. They tend to be very competitive, are usually in a hurry and have a tendency towards pessimism.

o TYPE B PERSONALITY: Type B’s have little urgency of time and are not very competitive. They tend to be cooperative, patient, happy-go-lucky kind of people.

TAKING THE PERSONALITY ASSESSMENT

o On the next slide, take the personality assessment.

o Mark each question as yes or no and count the number of yes responses when completed:


THE PERSONALITY ASSESSMENT

o Mark the statement that best applies to you as “yes”

o Count the number of yes answers when completed.

The Personality Assessment: Mark each statement you agree with “YES” YES?

1 Do I accentuate key words when speaking and always hurry the last

few words of my sentences?

2 Do I always eat, walk, talk and move rapidly?

3 Do I get impatient and irritated when things do not move fast?

4 Do I often attempt to do or think more than one thing at a time?

5 Do I always try to move the topic of conversation to my interest?

6 Do I often feel guilty when I try to relax?

7 Do I often fail to stop and take in the new things around me?

8 Do I feel more concerned with acquiring material things than

enhancing my wellbeing?

9 Do I always feel like I’m in a big hurry?

10 Do I feel a need to compete with, or challenge others?

11 Do I accentuate my speech with exaggerated gestures like pounding

the table or waving my arms?

12 Do I feel that it is necessary to maintain a fast pace in my life?

13 Do I rate my success in life in terms of numbers?

PERSONALITY ASSESSMENT RESULTS

o Scores range from 0 - 13.

o A high score indicates a TYPE A Personality type (7-13 points)

o A low score indicates a TYPE B Personality type (1-6 points)

PERSONALITY TYPE A & TYPE B RESEARCH

o People with a strong Type A personality type are very competitive, have an ambitious drive, are always in a hurry and are aggressive and impatient. Type A’s are tend to exude hostility and insecurity.


o CURRENT RESEARCH SUGGESTS:

o People with a strong TYPE A can alleviate the negative consequences of their personality by

building their self-esteem. They can work on their control issues, commitment issues and

seek healthy challenges instead of fierce competitions.

Building their sense of control can help type A’s accept responsibility for their behavior in

order to change the behavior that is causing them stress or distress. Also creating a

commitment to have good self-esteem can help type A’s realize their purpose in life.

o Regardless of personality type, building self-esteem starts with viewing life as containing the

opportunities for change (also known as mistakes) necessary for personal growth and

wellbeing. Gaining self-control over one’s behavior reduces the need to control external

things and lastly recognizing that your life is a perfect learning and growing environment

designed especially for you

LOCUS OF CONTROL AND DECISION MAKING

o The Locus of Control is a term that indicates whether people tend to;

o See themselves as having the power to control the events in their lives (internal locus)

or

o They locate the power to control events in their lives outside of themselves (external locus) in other people and in other forces.

o Having an internal locus of control will empower you to make better decisions.

LOCUS OF CONTROL EXAMPLES

o Where do you place the source of control in your life? Do you see yourself as having control, or do you believe that outside forces are in control?

o I control my life--EXTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL o Other forces control my life—INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL

WHERE IS YOUR LOCUS OF CONTROL?

o To answer this question, consider the locus of control of the following statements: o Staying out of trouble is a matter of making good decisions; luck has little to do with it.

ILC o If you keep a low profile and try to follow the rules, you’ll stay out of trouble. ILC o If you are lucky, you will stay out of trouble; if not then too bad. ELC o Getting into trouble is a matter of being in the wrong place, at the wrong time. ELC

TAKING THE LOCUS OF CONTROL ASSESSMENT

o Read each pair of statements and choose the statement that you mostly agree with. Then, add up the credits in the columns as you go


LOCUS OF CONTROL ASSESSMENT

Choose the statement you agree with circle the amount next to the statement (1 or 0) then add up each statement that you agree with that has 1 credit and keep a tally of it as you go along. Next, add up your tally. 1 1 Many of the unhappy things in people’s lives are partly due to bad luck.

0 People’s misfortunes results from the mistakes they make 2 0 One of the major reasons why we have wars is because people are involved enough

in politics 1 There will always be wars, no matter how hard we try to prevent them. 3 0 In the long run, people get the respect they deserve in this world.

1 Unfortunately, an individual’s worth is often not recognized no matter how hard he tries.

4 0 The idea that teachers are unfair to students is nonsense. 1 Most students don’t realize how much their grades are influenced by accidental

happenings. 5 1 Without the right breaks, you cannot be an effective leader.

0 Capable people who fail to become leaders have not taken advantage of their opportunities.

6 1 No matter how hard you try, some people just don’t like you. 0 People who can’t get others to like them don’t understand how to get along with

others. 7 1 I have often found that what is going to happen will happen.

0 I prefer to decide on a definite course of action rather than just trusting fate. 8 0 For a well prepared student, there is rarely, if ever, such a thing as an unfair test.

1 Many times, exam questions are so unrelated to the course work that studying is useless.

9 0 Becoming a success is a matter of hard work, luck has little or nothing to do with it. 1 Getting a good job depends mainly on being at the right place at the right time. 10 0 The average citizen can have an influence in government decisions.

1 The world is run by a few people in power, and there is not much the little guy can do about it.

11 0 When I make plans, I am almost certain that I can make them work 1 It doesn’t always help to plan ahead, because many things are just a matter of luck 12 0 In my case, getting what I want has little or nothing to do with luck

1 Many times, it’s just as well to decide what to do by flipping a coin. 13 0 What happens to me is my own doing.

1 Sometimes I feel that I don’t have enough control over the direction my life is taking.

= = TOTAL POINTS EARNED


LOCUS OF CONTROL ASSESSMENT RESULTS

o RESULTS: Scores range from 0 - 13. A high score indicates an external locus of control (7-13 points) A low score indicates an internal locus of control (1-6 points)

LOCUS OF CONTROL RESEARCH

o Good decision making and control have a definite connection. You are more likely to make bad decisions when you feel you have no control over your situation.

o People with a high INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL are happier, healthier, and more successful in life.

o People with a mostly external locus of control are less happy, more anxious, less healthy,

and less successful in life

o IT IS VERY DESIRABLE TO HAVE AN INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL!

CONTROL YOUR OWN DESTINY

o If you do not exercise control and make good decisions to direct your destiny, someone else will do it for you!

o Good decisions empower you and put you in control of your own destiny.

EXCELLENT JOB! END OF SECTION 2

Some people create their own storms, then get upset when it rains…

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 3- MINDFULNESS, FAULTY THINKING AND DECISION MAKING---------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MINDFULNESS AND DECISION MAKING

o We make bad decisions that cause us problems when we fail to practice mindfulness. o What is Mindfulness?

o Mindfulness simply means “thinking things through” and “being aware” of the moment when we are faced with any decision.

o Sound simple right? Think of the hundreds of decisions you make every day. How often do you think every single decision through and consider all possible consequences?

o Think of mindfulness when going through a maze. How much harder would it be if you did not think it through?

MINDFULNESS VERSUS UN-MINDFULNESS

o Practicing mindfulness takes a proactive effort.

o Think about it. How often have you done something and then thought, “I shouldn’t have done that,” or even, “why did I do that?”

o We make hundreds of decisions each day, and it takes effort to be mindful of each and every decision.

o The first step is recognizing your when you practice mindfulness versus when you don’t.


o Think of a time you made a good decision. Did you think about it before you made it? Or, are you now thinking about how lucky you were that it was a good decision?

3 UN-MINDFUL DECISION MAKING PRACTICES:

o making decisions without thinking about it;

o making significant split second decisions;

o making risky, on the spot decisions because “it won’t happen to me”

HOW MINDFUL ARE YOUR DECISION MAKING SKILLS?

This activity helps you build awareness of your mindfulness during decision making.

While you are answering the questions, think about how you can enhance your decision

making skills.

Rate each statement: Good Very

good

ok Needs

work

Not so

good

1. My ability to think through my decisions is…

2. My ability to explain myself and be understood is…

3. My ability to make good decisions is…

4. My ability to resolve conflicts at work, school and

home is…

5. My ability to detect my emotional state is…

6. My ability to detect a bad decision is…

7. My ability to manage bad decisions under peer

pressure is…

8. My ability to recognize a good decision is...

9. My ability to think through consequences of a

decision is…

10. My ability to put highly charged decisions on hold is.

THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS AND DECISIONS

o Thoughts, emotions and decisions have an interesting relationship when it comes to critical thinking and effective decision making.

o THOUGHTS=EMOTIONS=DECISIONS

o Your thoughts set the mood. They are the foundation of your emotions, your behavior and your decisions.

o It is a simple truth. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you are more likely to have positive emotions most of the time and your decisions will be more likely to reflect those positive emotions.

o Now think about this: What if your thoughts are mostly negative? If your thoughts are mostly negative then your emotions will be mostly negative and your decisions will reflect negativity.

Your thoughts effect your emotions—Your emotions effect your thoughts


7 COMMON UNHEALTHY THINKING PATTERNS TO AVOID

o All-or-None Thinking- Looking at a situation as either black or white; thinking that there are only two possible outcomes to a situation. Example: "If I am not a complete success in life, then I am a total failure.“

o Catastrophizing- Expecting the worse to happen without considering other alternative outcomes that are more likely to happen. Example: "I know that I will be so anxious that I will bomb this test and fail the course.“

o Labeling- Defining yourself or others in a rigid way that doesn't allow for more favorable evaluations. Example: "I am a total loser. Everyone is against me”

o Discounting the Positive- Looking past and ignoring positive experiences; viewing positive experiences or outcomes as simply being due to chance. Example: "I a break out of luck, not because anyone wants to give me a chance."

o Mind Reading- Thinking that you know what others are thinking. Example: "I just know that my therapist thinks I am a waste of his time.“

o Internalization- Evaluating other people's behavior as being the result of something you did. Example: "She didn’t say hi to me because I must have done something to upset her.“

o Emotional Reasoning- Believing something is true because it feels that way. Example: "I must have failed that test because I feel so bad about my performance."

Your reality is a reflection of your thoughts—improve your thoughts and you will improve your reality

7 HEALTHY THINKING PATTERNS TO ADOPT

o 1. Be realistic in your thinking. Instead of “I always mess things up” THINK: “I didn’t get it

right this time”.

o 2. Avoid words that are absolutes – Always, Never, Should, Must (“I always mess things up”

or “I must be perfect all the time”)

o 3. React to what is real not imagined. React to the situation at hand, not the worst situation

that you can imagine. However if you do not like your current situation, focus on your best

imagined situation

o 4. Don’t guess or mind read what others are thinking or feeling about you—when in doubt,

ask. Check it out.

o 5. Consider the whole. Instead of focusing on a single negative detail about yourself or

others try to balance your view with the positive. “My circumstances have been better in the

past”

o 6. Just because you feel something, doesn’t make it true. If you feel stupid or guilty, it isn’t

necessarily true. Feelings and thoughts can be wrong.

o 7. Own responsibility for your own happiness and let others own responsibility for their own

happiness. Treat others with respect and care but avoid assuming responsibility for anyone

else’s happiness. Also, ensure that YOU are treated with respect and care and do not make

someone else responsibility for your happiness.

THOUGHTS ARE SIMPLE AND COMPLEX

o Some might think: “Oh, so change my thoughts to positive and my life will be better? Sounds too simple to be true.”

o Well, changing thoughts from negative to positive can be painfully hard or blissfully

o In fact, changing thoughts to positive is so simple a child can easily do it easily and it can be so difficult that an educated professional adult may find it impossible.


o The key is persistence. Keep practicing positive thinking and it will soon become the dominant force in your mind.

o The fact of the matter is that positive thoughts will lead to an increased sense of well-being and a happier life.

o Consistently positive thoughts lead to greater well-being and increased happiness.

THE POWER OF SUGGESTION

o For some, getting control over their thoughts and emotions may seem like an impossible task.

o However, YOU have more power and control over your thoughts and emotions than you think.

o Your internal dialogue (your inner voice) has a powerful effect on your ability to control your emotions and your behavior.

o Practice maintaining a positive inner dialogue. When a negative thought comes in simply say, “NEXT” and move on to a positive thought.

o Tell yourself, “I have made good decisions before, and I can do it again! I can and will control my behavior.”

o It may feel silly at first, but this is an extremely powerful technique.

QUESTION YOUR THINKING

o Ask yourself the following questions about your negative thoughts. Think of a negative

thought you commonly have. With the intention of soothing this thought, answer the

following questions. If it is a thought that you believe is true, write down evidence against

this thought as you wish it to be. Remember, your thoughts are VERY powerful things; what

you think, you become…

o What evidence do I have for this thought? What evidence do I have against this thought?


o Are there times when this thought hasn't been true?

o Do I have this kind of thought when I am feeling really good or do I mostly have this

thought when I’m feeling sad, angry, or anxious?

o What would I tell someone I really care about who was having this kind of thought?

o Is it possible that I am having this thought just out of habit? What might be an alternative

explanation?

o Asking yourself these types of questions can help break the habit of unhealthy thinking

improving your mood.

o If you have an unhealthy thought, simply view the thought as just a thought and nothing else.

It is just a habit and not an indication of truth.


WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS?

o 3 basic truths to deal with negative thinking:

o 1. BELIEVE your life is exactly as it should be- From the time you were born, you

began growing and learning. You grow and learn from all experiences in your life

starting from birth until now. Therefore, your life is perfect as it is in order for YOU to

grow and learn. I know this may be a hard pill to swallow, but it is true.

o 2. PRACTICE Non-Judgment- When we judge things as good, bad, right or wrong, we

exert a lot of energy and create a lot of stress. Imagine for a moment that you stopped

judging the little, unimportant things that you or other people do as good or bad, right or

wrong. Can you see how much less stress you would experience?

o 3. RELEASE yourself from the burden of expectations- When you have an

expectation there is always the risk that you will be let down. When you stop expecting

things and stop trying to foresee results you eliminate the risk of being let down, reducing

anger.

o Think Positive Thoughts Until Your Mind Starts Repeating Them Back to YOU

EXCELLENT JOB! END OF SECTION 3

Don’t look back, you’re not going that way…

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SECTION 4- EMOTIONS, STRESS & DECISION MAKING-------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONS

o Can emotions be controlled?

o Emotions (like anger, jealousy, fear, etc.) just come into your mind without your permission

and you feel them. It just happens.

o Okay, this is where it gets complicated.

o The truth is that the behavior you choose to deal with your emotions will either make the

emotion stronger or weaker.

o If you choose to react to your angry emotions by throwing temper tantrums, your anger will

keep getting stronger and it will be more and more difficult to control.

o If you choose to react in a calm manner (it might be very difficult at first), your anger will

grow weaker and it will be easier to control in the long run.

o Emotions (like anger, jealousy, fear, etc.) just come into your mind without your

permission.

o Emotions are reinforced by behavior and it’s your behavior that you get to choose


EMOTIONAL DECISION MAKING

o Your emotional state when making decisions has an effect on your decision making ability.

o When making decisions, actively practice being aware of how you feel.

o How does the decision you are about to make, feel?

o Be aware if you are highly emotional when you are about to make a decision—do you feel

nervous, excited, exhilarated, apprehensive, fearful, angry and resentful?

o If possible, put the decision off until you are calm.

o Trust your instincts, if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

o Highly emotional states can cloud your decision making. Wait until you are calm to

decide.

THE SECRET ABOUT EMOTIONS

o There is a fascinating connection between emotions and behavior in the human brain.

o Any emotion that you consistently act upon will become stronger.

o So, acting on the emotion of anger by yelling, throwing things, or getting physical is like a

workout for the emotion of anger.

o And what happens when you work out? You get stronger!

o It’s the same with anger; if you exercise your anger, it will get stronger.

o And if you DO NOT exercise your anger and stay calm, your anger will grow weaker.

o When your anger grows weaker, you take control!

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN DECISION MAKING & STRESS

o There is a definite relationship between stress and effective decision making. While a little

stress may be beneficial, stress overload can cause distress.

o When you are stressed or angry, the feeling may include being overwhelmed, feeling

disrespected, helpless, fearful and so on.

o It is very important to look at the feelings behind the stress to better understand why you are

having this reaction.

o Once this insight is gained, then steps may be taken to relax and feel much better.

o Take time for enjoyable activities, exercise, play sports with friends; go for a hike and

connect with nature.

o If your stress is causing depression, seek professional help; your well-being is very

important!

HOW STRESS AFFECTS DECISION MAKING

o Current scientific research supports the idea that poor decision making skills is a response to

stress and that whether you realize it or not, your emotions guide your decision making

processes.

o In other words, the way you feel has a significant impact on the decisions you make. When

you feel good, you tend to make better decisions, when you feel bad, your decision making

suffers.


o The result of poor decision making due to stress is a “double edged sword,” meaning: your

bad decisions produce much more stress, which produces more bad decision making leading

to more stress and so on...

o The simple fact of the matter is that when you make decisions under stress or in a highly

emotional state, you are more likely to make a bad decision.

o Finding healthy ways to relieve stress will improve your decision making abilities and end

the vicious cycle improving your health and well-being.

STRESS MYTHS

o MYTH: A stressor, or stressful event will always precipitate stress. FACT: Stress symptoms

can occur at the mere thought of a past or future stressful situation.

o MYTH: People who are not competitive and have no time urgency, are not successful in life

and have more stress. FACT: People who are competitive and always feel rushed are likely

to have more stress regardless of their success.

o MYTH: Drinking coffee or tea reduces stress. FACT: Coffee and tea are stimulants and

increase stress.

o MYTH: Smoking relaxes the body and relieves stress. FACT: Nicotine has a high affinity for

oxygen; smoking robs the body of oxygen and increases stress on the organs.

o MYTH: Exercise robs the body of energy, causing stress. FACT: Exercise is a highly

effective method to relieve stress and actually increases the production of natural stress

relieving chemicals such as endorphins.

o MYTH: Acquired behaviors for stress cannot be changed. FACT: Behaviors can and should

be changed to reduce stress, starting with relaxation and exercise.

HOW ARE YOUR STRESS COPING SKILLS?

STRESS ASSESSMENT

This activity helps you build awareness of your stress coping skills. While you answer the

questions, think about how to build your coping skills using patience & practice.

RATE EACH STATEMENT Very

Good

Good OK Needs

Work

Not

So

Good

1. My ability to relax when I want to is…

2. My ability to explain myself and be understood

is…

3. My ability to keep my anger under control is…

4. My ability to resolve conflicts at work and home

is…

5. My ability to manage my time well is…

6. My ability to exercise regularly is…

7. My ability to cope with anxiety over future events

is…

8. My ability to cope with my anxiety over past

events is...


9. My ability to practice healthy eating behaviors

is…

10. My ability to set goals and accomplish them is…

A NOTE REGARDING STRESS:

o Practice stress relieving activities (exercise, comical movies, engaging in a hobby) then take this assessment again in one month!

o Taking active measures to relieve my stress will increase my health and well-being.

CAN THOUGHTS CAUSE STRESS?

o Believe it or not, your own thoughts are a huge part of your experience of stress. Think about

it… your thoughts form your opinions, they affect your decisions, they affect your

relationships and they affect the way you view the world and they certainly affect the way

you see yourself and others.

o How we evaluate and think about ourselves, other people, and events can have a major

impact on our mood. For example, let's say you commonly have the thought, "I am always in

trouble." Whenever this thought pops into your head, you will immediately feel down

because you focus on the evidence to support this thought. The reverse is also true. If you are

in trouble, you are likely to have more thoughts that are down (which reinforces your mood).

o We all have negative thoughts from time to time (especially when we are experiencing

stress!) Negative thinking is a vicious cycle. For example, an unpleasant event occurs, we

think about it and feel down. We feel down and think about more unpleasantness and so on

and so on...

o It is important to understand (and accept) that your thoughts create your reality—your

negative thoughts DO HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOU regardless of whether or not there is

evidence to support your thoughts and regardless of whom your negative thoughts are

directed.

o If you are having negative thoughts about yourself, YOU are affected. If you are having

negative thoughts about another person YOU are affected.

THE EFFECTS OF STRESS ON YOU

o I can’t stress enough the importance of managing your stress

o Manage your stress and you WILL be healthier.

o The effects of ACUTE stress on the body includes:

o A RISE IN BLOOD PRESSURE

o AN INCREASE IN HEART RATE

o AN INCREASE IN ANXIETY

o AN INCREASE IN INTESTINAL MOTILITY

o AN INCREASE IN BASIL METABOLIC RATE o

o The effects of CHRONIC stress on the body includes

o HYPERTENSION (HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE)

o CORONARY HEART DISEASE


o STROKE

o ANXIETY DISORDER

o PEPTIC ULCERS

HOW IMPORTANT IS STRESS RELIEF?

o Relieving your stress is extremely important. While it is beneficial to practice stress relief

techniques as described in the picture, it is also important to recognize the origin of your

stress.

o Your thoughts and internal dialogue have a great effect on your stress level. Your thoughts

directly affect your emotions and feelings, which affect your viewpoint, which affects your

decisions, which affects your behavior.

o Stress always begins internally and it is always your responsibility to manage your stress.

Are you in a situation or circumstance that is evoking stress and feelings of anger? Then you

have a choice to make; get OUT of that situation or circumstance as soon as possible.

o Staying in a situation that is causing you stress and evoking angry feelings, will only lead to

more stress and more angry emotions. YOU ALWAYS HAVE CHOICES. Make the best

choice for your own wellbeing. Just as others are not responsible for your behavior, you are

not responsible for anyone else’s behavior including their thoughts and feelings.

THE MIND BODY CONNECTION

o THINK ABOUT THIS: As you read negative words and statements do you FEEL anything?

o Have you ever re-lived a negative experience in your mind—meaning have you ever sat and thought about a negative experience? I guarantee that your body reacted to your thoughts.

o Your body and mind react very strongly to negative thoughts. o As a matter of fact, your body and mind react to ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS—whether or

not you realize it. o While your body and mind do react to negative thoughts, the good news is that your body

and mind also react very powerfully to positive thoughts as well. o Studies show that you can improve your health and well-being by doing something as simple

as trying to think positive thoughts as much as possible!

POSITIVE THINKING AND BEHAVIOR

o Your thoughts are powerful, in fact your thoughts create your life! And it is your thoughts that guide and direct your life creating your destiny. It works like this:

o Your thoughts affect your feelings, which affects your emotional state, which affects your focus, which affects your viewpoint, which affects your judgment, which affects your decisions, which affects your behavior which affects your direction in life which ultimately affects your destiny!

o There is NO escaping this truth, your life revolves around YOUR THOUGHTS. Therefore, it is important to pay attention to your thoughts and how they might be influencing your life. Often times, thoughts simply occur out of habit (that is, because we have had similar thoughts in the past), and not because they are actually reflecting any truth.

o For example, in regard to the thought, "I always get in trouble," it is highly unlikely that you are always getting in trouble. Getting in trouble does not last forever and, even if you


experience multiple episodes of getting in trouble, there will be times when you are not in trouble. The key is expanding and extending those periods of not getting in trouble as much as possible. And you CAN do this by changing your thoughts.

o Even though a thought may feel true, in reality, it may not be. Believing that it is, however, can negatively impact your behavior, putting you at risk for more of the same trouble or worse. Therefore, it is important to learn how to identify unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors and address them before they affect your decisions.

I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday…

WELL DONE! END OF SECTION 4

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SECTION 5- PRESSURE AND DECISION MAKING-----------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never make permanent decisions based on temporary situations…

PRESSURE, EMOTIONS & DECISION MAKING

o Not only are people making decisions based mostly on their emotions, but they are in the

middle of the most emotional time of their lives!

o There is nothing wrong with emotions, EMOTIONS ARE NEVER WRONG.

o What is right or wrong, though, is THE WAY YOU ACT OUT YOUR EMOTIONS.

o If your emotional behavior is out of control, you could be making some very bad decisions.

o So, making good decisions begins with controlling your emotional behavior.

MAKING DECISIONS IN A PRESSURE ENVIRONMENT

o It is obviously harder to make good decisions while under pressure.

o Now, what kind of pressure are we talking about, here?

o Any high pressure environment makes decision making more difficult.

o Even a high pressure home environment can cause your decision making ability to suffer. In fact, since you may not realize how high pressure your home environment is, you may not even realize how significantly your decision making ability is affected.

MAKING DECISIONS UNDER PRESSURE

o Most everyone has had to deal with some form of pressure at one time or another.

o The fact of the matter is that misery loves company, so often people will encourage others to

engage in unhealthy activities so they will not be “the only one doing it.”

o There are methods to deal with peer pressure to help you make better, autonomous (self-

controlled or directed) decisions.

o 1. Direct the questioning or interrogation back to the person interrogating you. Why do you

keep asking me?

o 2. Question the person’s integrity or intentions. What’s your problem? Why are you so

desperate for me to do that?

o 3. Flat out say, “No and please don’t ask me again.”


o 4. Treat the request like a Joke. “Yeah, right. Who would be stupid enough to do that? Let’s

go play on the freeway instead.”

o 5. Say no, and apply peer pressure of your own. “Come on! I thought you were smarter than

that.”

o 6. Use humor. “No thanks, I’m allergic to smoke; it gives me cancer.”

o 7. Walk away. Just leave. “I’m outta here, later!”

o 8. Defend yourself. “No way, my IQ is higher than that!”

o 9. Use your parents as an excuse. “My parents would send me away to military school for that!”

o 10. Have a plan B. “I’ve gotta run, I have to babysit my little sister.”

SCENARIOS:

SCENARIO 1: JOHN’S DILEMMA

Jon is drinking beer and watching the football game with his son and his son’s friend,

Pal. Jon usually permits his son to have a beer with him while they watch the game.

This time, however, Pal asks if he could also have a beer. What should Jon do?

Jon should:

A. Give Pal a drink, it’s okay if there is adult supervision.

B. Only give his son a drink.

C. Tell the boys, that neither of them can have a drink today, and drink all of the beer

himself.

D. Tell the boys that today no one is going to drink beer, not even Jon.

E. ALL OF THE ABOVE

SOLUTION

Jon pretty much has two options. He can have a beer himself or announce that there will be no beer drinking (this is his best option).

Jon can get into a lot of trouble serving alcohol to minors in his home. Social host refers to adults who host parties where alcohol is served on property they control. Through social host liability laws, adults can be held responsible for these parties if underage people are served alcohol, regardless of who furnishes the alcohol

Jon should never give alcohol to his son’s friends and he should NOT allow his son to drink in front of his friends in his home.


SCENARIO 2: MAY’S ESCAPE

May is shopping with her friends and notices that June is stealing makeup. May feels very uncomfortable and a little nervous. Suddenly, June asks May to leave the store with her.

May should:

A. Leave with June and wait outside.

B. Call security and have June arrested on the spot

C. Tell June no and stay in the store with the others.

D. Make an excuse and leave the store without June and go home

E. None of the Above

SOLUTION:

May has a lot of options available to her. She is not a member of security and has no business having June arrested. If she leaves with June or even stays with the other girls, she risks getting caught, getting fined or jailed, having to go to court, having a record and spending a lot of time and money over a bad decision. How does she know that the others aren’t stealing too?

Yes, even being with June or other girls when she suspects they are shoplifting can get her into serious legal trouble.

The best option for May is to walk away and leave. Even if she refuses to leave with June and stays with the others, just being in the mix of this drama could result in the same headache.

May’s feelings of nervousness are gut instincts she should pay attention to; always follow your instincts, if it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

SCENARIO 3: SHAWN’S RESPONSE

Shawn is hanging out in his favorite bar watching the game and having a friendly argument with Tom about sports. Suddenly Tom gets serious and starts yelling at Shawn from across the table. Shawn can feel himself getting angry too. At some point, Tom stumbles out of his seat (he’s obviously drunk), and gets in Shawn’s face.

Shawn should:

A. Get in Tom’s face and challenge him.

B. Start a fist fight with Tom

C. Do nothing and take it.

D. Stand up and leave the bar and tell Tom he’s not interested in starting anything with him.

E. None of the Above


SOLUTION:

This is a tough one, it’s hard to walk away from a challenge. But what Shawn is walking away from is actually the risk of getting involved in a fight in a bar which could land him and Tom in jail.

Both Men could end up going to court, having to take court ordered classes (decision making and anger management) and basically ending up wasting a lot of time and money in the court system.

When you think about the risk of getting mixed up with public intoxication laws, assault and battery laws, it just isn’t worth it.

The best option for Shawn is to walk away and go home stress and drama free.

But he should definitely avoid this flammable guy in the future.

SCENARIO 4: ALEX’S TEST

Alex is hanging with his friends having a few drinks in a night club. It’s 2am and the

bar is closing. He is suddenly aware that he has had a few too many to drink. Why is it

a bad idea for him to drive home?

Alex shouldn’t drive home because:

A. He could get a DWI

B. He could get into a minor accident (not even his fault) and get a DUI and all of the

fault too

C. If he gets into an accident and someone is killed (not even his fault) he will

automatically be at fault for drinking and driving and be charged with manslaughter.

D. A DWI is a very expensive crime that could cost Alex thousands as well as a lot of

wasted time in court

E. ALL OF THE ABOVE

SOLUTION:

No one likes to think about all of the bad things that could happen. But sometimes it helps to think these things through, especially when the stakes are high.

Getting caught drinking and driving would cost a small fortune in attorney’s fees, court costs, court classes and other fines; not to mention a bad record that will haunt Alex for a long time. It’s just not worth the risk.

And if Alex has an accident and someone gets hurt. Even if it is not his fault, he will be held at fault because he has been drinking and decided to get behind the wheel and drive.

When you think it through (especially the financial cost of drinking and driving, cab fares are cheap! Never drink and drive. There are too many risks and too many better options available to you.


SCENARIO 5: LINDA’S CHOICE

Linda, a single working mom, has discovered that her two teenage sons are using her

car to pick up drugs and then selling them out of her home. She has confronted them

before with this criminal behavior and demanded that they stop, but they have

obviously decided to ignore her.

What should Linda do?

A. Nothing. She has done all that she can do.

B. Let them be, if they get caught by police they will learn a good lesson.

C. Confront them a second time and hope that they stop.

D. Call the police and follow their advice.

E. None of the above.

SOLUTION:

Civil forfeiture (also known as asset forfeiture) allows the government to seize property that was involved in certain types of criminal activity (typically drugs or prostitution), even if the property owner is completely innocent of any crime herself. For example, children who store or sell drugs in their parents' home are putting their parents' house at risk. If the police arrest the child for possessing or dealing drugs, the state can seize the house, kick out the parents, sell the house and keep the proceeds from the sale. Likewise, if somebody is pulled over in his parent's car and the police find drugs, the car can be seized and sold.

Another risk if your child is storing drugs in the home is that the parents themselves can be charged with drug crimes, such as possession or distribution. This is more likely to happen if the drugs are found in a common area of the home or if the police believe that the parents knew about the presence of drugs and did nothing.

Linda could even find herself facing criminal charges if she is not careful in her handling of this precarious situation.

WELL DONE! END OF SECTION 5

THE POWER OF THOUGHT

o Health & Well-being is a state of mind.

o Your thoughts are very powerful life tools. Your thoughts create the emotions that

you feel, form your opinions, they affect your decisions, they affect your relationships

and they even effect the way you view the world and they certainly affect the way

you see yourself and others.

o How we evaluate and think about ourselves, other people, and events can have a

major impact on our mood.

o For example, let's say you commonly have the thought, “Things just make me so angry."

Whenever this thought pops into your head, you will immediately feel a tinge of anger.

The reverse is also true. If you are feeling angry, you are likely to have more thoughts that

are angering (which reinforces your mood).

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SECTION 6 THE POWER OF THOUGHT-------------------------------------------------------------

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Every emotion you feel begins with a thought, control your thoughts and control your destiny.

NEGATIVE THINKING

o We all have negative thoughts from time to time (especially when we are experiencing

stress!) It is important to learn how to cope with thoughts that cause anger or sadness

and recognize faulty thinking patterns.

o Negative thinking is a vicious cycle. For example, an unpleasant event occurs, we

think about it and feel upset.

o We then feel more upset and think more unpleasant thoughts and so on and so on...

o It is important to understand (and accept) that your thoughts create your reality—your

negative thoughts DO HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOU regardless of whether or not there

is evidence to support your thoughts and regardless of whom your negative thoughts are

directed.

o If you are having negative thoughts about yourself, YOU are affected. If you are

having negative thoughts about another person YOU are affected

CAN I CONTROL MY OWN EMOTIONS?

o While you cannot control the way you feel, you are not powerless over your emotions!

o You can control your thoughts and your behavior which have a direct influence over

your emotions.

o So by controlling your thoughts and behavior, you can control your negative emotions.

o YOU ARE POWERFUL! You have unlimited power over your emotions, I promise! Let me

explain:

o While you may not be able to control the feelings of emotions, you CAN control (guide and

direct) your thoughts and the way you act on emotions.

o The way you act on your emotions or feelings will enhance the emotion or diminish it.

o If you control the way you act on your emotions, you will have power over your behavior!

THE TRUTH ABOUT EMOTIONS

o Emotions (like anger, jealousy, fear, etc.) just come into your mind without your

permission and you feel them. It just happens.

o The truth is that the behavior you choose to deal with your emotions will either make

the emotion stronger or weaker.

o If you choose to react to your angry emotions by throwing temper tantrums, your anger

will keep getting stronger and it will be more and more difficult to control.

o If you choose to react in a calm manner (it might be very difficult at first), your anger

will grow weaker and it will be easier to control in the long run.

Emotions (like anger, jealousy, fear, etc.) just come into your mind without your permission.

It’s your behavior that you get to choose.


THE SECRET ABOUT EMOTIONS

o There is a fascinating connection between emotions and behavior in the human brain.

o Any emotion that you consistently act upon will become stronger.

o So, acting on negative emotions by indulging in negative self-talk (or beating up on yourself)

or engaging in verbal abuse will either enhance feelings of helplessness and powerlessness or

feelings of anger and rage.

o The indulgence in negative thoughts are like a work out for that negative emotion that

you are feeling.

o And what happens when you work out? You get stronger!

o It’s the same with emotion; if you exercise your negative emotions, they will get stronger.

o And if you DO NOT exercise your negative emotion and stay calm, eventually it will grow

weaker.

o When your negative emotions grow weaker, you take control!

If you exercise your anger it will logically get stronger.

THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING

o It is a scientific fact that positive thoughts have a profound effect on your health and

state of well-being.

o However, thought processes are habitual and if your habit is to consistently think negative

thoughts, your mind will be dominated by negativity, which will have a direct effect on your

health and well-being!

o While changing your thoughts from negative to positive is challenging; IT IS POSSIBLE.

o There are many ways to accomplish change your thoughts: Meditation is one way; that is,

clearing your mind of ANY and ALL thoughts for 15 to 20 minute periods of time.

o Guided meditation is another method. The internet (YouTube) is full of guided meditations:

just search for “WELL-BEING MEDITATION” and meditate before you sleep or when you

awake.

Whether you know it or not, you trained your brain to think negative thoughts.

Train your brain to think positive thoughts and watch your life transform before your very eyes.

BREAK THE CHAINS OF NEGATIVE EMOTION!

o Negative emotions when indulged and exercised, can be very powerful. Anger, for example

has ended relationships, broken hearts and has even caused wars!

o Negative emotions are the dominant emotion behind ALL PROBLEM BEHAVIOR

o You can learn to take control of your emotions and express your emotions without hurting

yourself or others.

o It takes work, but the more you practice controlling your negative emotions, the easier it will

become.


o Managing your negative emotions can help you regain your personal power, improve your

relationships and lead to a healthier, more satisfying life.

Mastering your emotions and behavior can make you feel extremely powerful.

EMOTIONS AND MOMENTUM

o When you think a thought, more thoughts like it will follow. This is known as momentum.

Negative thoughts gain negative momentum while positive thoughts gain positive

momentum.

o When you think a negative thought, what you are doing is practicing that thought pattern and

allowing the momentum that naturally follows to increase.

o And when you think a positive thought, you practice that thought pattern and allow positive

momentum that also naturally follows to increase.

o For example, think a thought that makes you sad or happy or angry and feel the emotional

momentum of that thought.

o The idea is to slow the momentum of negative emotions and speed up the momentum of

positive emotions by choosing what to think or focus on.

The mind is everything, what you think you become.

WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS?

o Ask yourself the following questions about your thoughts:

o What evidence do I have for this thought? What evidence do I have against this thought? Are

there times when this thought hasn't been true?

o Do I have this kind of thought when I am feeling really good, or do I mostly have this thought

when I’m feeling sad, angry, or anxious?

o What would I tell someone else who was having this kind of thought?

o Is it possible that I am having this thought just out of habit? What might be an alternative

explanation?

o Asking yourself these types of questions can help break the habit of unhealthy thinking.

o When you notice that you are having an unhealthy thought, simply view the thought as just a

thought and nothing else. It is just something your mind does when you are feeling a certain

way or faced with a certain situation. It is a habit and not an indication of truth.

o Take a step back from your thoughts; diminish their power over your mood AND think to

yourself, “It is good when I can recognize that my thoughts and emotions are negative. I am

no longer blind to my thoughts and emotions”

You need to learn how to select your thoughts, just as you select your clothes every day. This is a

power you can cultivate.


POSITIVE THINKING AND BEHAVIOR

o Your thoughts are powerful, in fact it is your thoughts that create your life! And it is your

thoughts that guide and direct your life creating your destiny.

o It works like this: Your thoughts affect your feelings, which affects your emotional state,

which affects your focus, which affects your viewpoint, which affects your judgment, which

affects your decisions, which affects your behavior which affects your direction in life which

ultimately affects YOUR DESTINY!

o Often, thoughts simply occur out of habit (that is, because we have had similar thoughts in

the past), and not because they are actually reflecting any truth.

o For example, the thought, "I always get angry," is highly unlikely. It is impossible that you

are always getting angry, even if you experience multiple episodes of getting angry, there are

still moments when you are not angry!

o Even though a thought may feel true, in reality, it may not be true. Believing that it is,

however, can negatively impact your behavior, putting you at risk for more of the same

trouble or worse.

o It is important to learn how to identify unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors and address

them before they affect your behavior and decisions.

The practice of positive thinking actively increases your health and wellbeing.

Do you guide your thoughts, or do they guide you?

COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING

o Simply put, cognitive restructuring means changing the way you think.

o Angry people tend to curse, swear and exaggerate reflecting their inner thoughts. When

you're angry, your thinking can get very unrealistic and overly dramatic. In the same

way, depressed people sulk, frown and hang their head down reflecting their inner

feelings.

o Try replacing negative words and thoughts with more rational ones.

o Instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell

yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not

the end of the world and being negative is not going to fix it."

o Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else.

o "This !&*%@ machine never works," or “I’m always forgetting things" are not just

inaccurate, they serve to make you feel that there's no way to solve the problem. They

also make you feel helpless and hopeless

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SECTION 7: COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING------------------------------------------------------

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o Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything; it won't make you feel

better (and may actually make you feel worse).

All that we are is only the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think

we become!

CHANGING THOUGHTS TO CONTROL EMOTIONS

o Change your thoughts and you change your world!

o An experience is happy because you think it is so, sad because you think it is so,

frustrating, angering, disturbing, peaceful, calming, frightening, exciting because you think

it is so…

o Beliefs are just thoughts that you keep on thinking. Thought patterns create anger.

o Change your thought patterns and take control of your anger.

Your thoughts form the emotional starting point of your emotional pain or bliss.

EMOTIONS AND CHANGE

o Let’s face it, once you are angry, it is very hard to change or even to think about change. You

have been practicing this emotion for a long time and it has gained a lot of momentum in

your life experience.

o The momentum of anger is very strong. Have you ever felt so angry, that you couldn’t

think about anything, not even a solution to the problem that caused your angry reaction?

o The emotion of anger is like an emotional muscle, the more you exercise it, the stronger

it will get and the easier it will be to use.

o The key to managing your anger is as simple as being aware of your own emotions,

especially the negative emotions, and stopping them before they gain momentum.

Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind


KNOW YOUR EMOTIONS

o Have you ever heard the phrase, “know thine enemy?”

o The same is true with emotions. Understanding your emotions and gaining awareness of

what triggers anger/sadness/happiness is an important element to managing your

emotions.

o However, once you are angry/sad/fearful, this is very hard to do! One cannot go from anger

to bliss because by the time you are angry, there is too much momentum to stop suddenly.

And anger to bliss is too big of a jump!

o So, you must find out where you stand on the emotional guidance scale and work from there.

o As you can see by the emotional guidance scale, anger is not the worst emotion you can feel.

The Emotional Guidance Scale

1. Joy / knowledge / Empowerment / Freedom Love / Appreciation

2. Passion

3. Enthusiasm

4. Positive expectation / Belief

5. Optimism

6. Hopefulness

7. Contentment

8. Boredom

9. Pessimism

10. Frustration irritation/impatience

11. Overwhelmed

12. Disappointment

13. Doubt

14. Worry

15. Blame

16. Discouragement

17. Anger

18. Revenge

19. Hatred/Rage

20. Jealousy

21. Insecurity/Guilt Unworthiness

22. Fear/Grief/Depression/ Powerlessness/Victim


KNOW YOUR JOY

o Once you are at boredom on any given topic you can continue to rise up the emotional

guidance scale.

o As you can see, the next emotion after boredom on the scale is contentment.

o From contentment you can rise step by step until you reach joy.

o It is important to remember that it is almost impossible (probably impossible) to jump

from practiced momentous anger to joy. If the anger is just too strong of an emotion

with too much emotional momentum to simply stop, it must be slowly guided up the

scale...there is no other way…

o Instead, anger must be guided until you reach boredom or contentment.

THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL

o If you are experiencing anger issues, this means one basic thing: it means that you know

you should feel better than you do and knowing this sets the stage for anger.

o As you can see by the downward spiral, anger is a healthier emotion than revenge,

hatred/rage, jealousy, insecurity/guilt/unworthiness,

fear/grief/depression/powerlessness/victim mentality

o However, regardless of where you lie on the scale when thinking about any circumstance or

situation, you can bring yourself up on the scale one step at a time. Once you get to boredom,

you begin to spiral up…


o So if you are feeling hatred or rage, move into revenge or a simpler form of anger, from there

move into discouragement and into blame and so on.

THE UPWARD SPIRAL

o Everyone wants to feel good, and it can be frustrating when you want to feel good, but you

don’t and when you know you should be feeling good, but you don’t.

o It is helpful to know that there is guidance and it is not abnormal for you to feel angry. You

can pick yourself up by the bootstraps and raise your state of well-being little by little.

o Give this method a chance. It will probably feel awkward at first and unusual because you

are accustomed to learning emotions through experience. But little by little you can train

your mind, you have power over your thoughts and therefore over your emotions. Be patient

and be kind to yourself, this is just another learning and growing experience in your life.

o So as you may notice by the emotional guidance scale on the right, boredom leads to

contentment, then hopefulness, then optimism, then positive expectation and so on.

o Try it, pick a topic and try to raise your emotional state using the emotional guidance scale.


THE COMPLETE EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SCALES:

The emotional guidance scale from powerlessness to boredom

o As you can see from the guidance scale below, your inner chatter or your inner dialogue

sets the stage for your emotional path.

o Read the dialogue from top to bottom.

o Next, try reading the dialogue from the bottom to the top.

o Can you see how your inner chatter can lift you up or bring you down?


THE EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SCALE FROM BOREDOM TO JOY

NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE ACTIVITY

o Pick a subject that you have trouble with and find your emotion about the subject on the scale

BELOW. Perhaps you are angry or insecure or even fearful about the subject. Next from

your point of emotion, write statements that reflect how you feel, then work your way up

to boredom about the subject writing out statements that reflect each emotion.


POSITIVE EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE ACTIVITY

o Once you are at boredom on any given topic you can continue to rise up the emotional

guidance scale.

o As you can see, the next emotion after boredom on the scale is contentment.

o From contentment you can rise step by step until you reach joy.

o It is important to remember that it is almost impossible to jump from anger to joy. Anger is

just too strong of an emotion with too much emotional momentum to simply stop.

o After completing the activity, how do you feel about the subject?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 8 THREE SIMPLE STEPS AND TECHNIQUES TO POSITIVE THOUGHT--- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You are today where your thoughts have brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.

ANOTHER TECHNIQUE TO TRAIN YOUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS

o Another technique in training your thoughts and emotions (remember, thus far, your life experience has trained your thoughts and emotions).

o We are suggesting that you take control of the training from here on out.

o The following guide is another method to accomplish this.

o It may also be a more effective way to start training your thoughts and emotions.

o You be the judge!

THE 3 STEPS TO POSITIVE THINKING

1. BELIEVE your life is exactly as it should be

2. PRACTICE Non-Judgment-

3. RELEASE yourself from the burden of expectations-

POSITIVE THINKING STEP 1

1. BELIEVE your life is exactly as it should be…it has been the perfect environment for you to learn and grow and it has brought you to this place of knowing.

o From the time you were born, you began growing and learning.

o The way you grow and learn is from all of the experiences in YOUR own unique life starting from birth until now. Good experiences and bad experiences help you learn and grow.

o Therefore, your life is perfect just as it is in order for YOU to grow and learn.

o I know this may be a hard pill to swallow, but it is true. The hardships of your life create YOU; therefore, even if you are in a lot of trouble right now, your life is perfect with all of its imperfections because it helps you learn and grow.

o Your life experience has suddenly brought you here! You have the opportunity to take control of your life because of all that you have lived until now.

o Feel the power of this belief…know that it is truth and you WILL FEEL BETTER.



2. PRACTICE Non-Judgment-practice allowing things to just be…allow yourself to relax into the idea: “it is what it is, let’s move on from here…”

o When we judge things as good, bad, right or wrong, we exert a lot of energy and create a lot of strain and stress in our lives.

o Imagine for a moment that you stopped judging things that you do, or things that other people do, as good or bad, right or wrong.

o Can you see how much less stress you would experience?

o Everyone (including you) is on their own personal journey. Everything in each person’s life (good and bad) is perfectly suited to their own growth and development.

o Ultimately, what they do with their life in respect to their growth and development is their own personal decision to make. Just as what you do with your own life experiences is your own personal decision to make.

o You are the only one responsible for your happiness, just as others are solely responsible for their own happiness.

o Practice non-judgment because your life is perfect for you.


3. RELEASE yourself from the burden of expectations-

o When you have expectations, you are expecting something specific to happen. You believe that this result will be best for you. But, if you have an expectation there is always the risk that you will be let down. When something you expect to happen does not happen, you feel frustrated and you cannot be happy and frustrated at the same time. When you stop expecting things and stop trying to foresee results, you eliminate the risk of being let down and frustrated and you will greatly increase your happiness.

o Remember that your life is perfect, your experiences are designed for you to grow and develop so they should not be judged as good, bad, right or wrong and the result of any given circumstance or situation in your life will help you grow.

o Letting go of expectations or expecting specific results will lessen stress and increase happiness. Try it, it really works!

THE POSITIVE THINKING ACTIVITIES

o These 3 steps to positive thinking are a powerful method to help you focus in a more positive direction easing stress and increasing health and wellbeing.

o This activity is simple.

o For three days, focus on each step and write in a journal any successes you have using the steps.

o Lastly, reflect how the steps have improved your life experience.


THOUGHT MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES

o Thought Management is about finding the tools that work for you to feel better.

o In this section, we will offer you some simple, easy tips and techniques to manage thoughts and emotions to think better thoughts and feel better emotions as a result.

o These techniques may seem foreign and even uncomfortable at first, but give them a try and I promise, in time you will see a difference!

o The benefit to you will be a new feeling of relaxation so you can start enjoying your life and the people in it.

o Also, remember, you are not alone!

o Negative thoughts are a tough beast to tame for EVERYONE!

Thought Management Techniques: It’s time for you to start relaxing and enjoy life.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 9 THOUGHT MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES---------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just as you are what you eat, you become what you think

6 THOUGHT MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES

o Next, we are going to explore 6 simple, easy to use—yet powerful—techniques.

o These techniques are proven methods that you can implement right away to help you feel more relaxed and generally happier.

o In fact, they are so powerful, that simply understanding the technique, simply being aware of the technique, will create a change in your life.

THE 6 SIMPLE THOUGHT MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES

As you read each technique, think of something that makes you angry, sad, anxious, etc. Try applying each thought management technique to the belief, thought or idea that causes you stress. Write down how the technique could help you sooth this thought or write down your thoughts about the technique.

THOUGHT MANAGEMENT TIP #1-

o Explore the Real Reason for Your Anger and decide if getting angry is really worth it.

o Ask yourself this question: “I’m angry right now, but will this matter to me in 5 years?” If your answer is no, then getting angry it’s just not worth it.



o Get in the habit of not judging anything

o When we judge things as good, bad, right or wrong, we spend a lot of mental energy working ourselves up into a frenzy.

o So…it is much easier and much more relaxing to accept situations, circumstances and the behavior of others as outside events that we just observe.

o Avoid judging situations and events as good, bad, fair and unfair and simply accept all situations or circumstance as they are.


o Let go of the outcome or result of events, circumstances and situations.

o When we are expecting a specific outcome, we set ourselves up for disappointment. So…when the outcome is different than what we expected, we may experience anger.

o Detach yourself from the outcome; tell yourself, “I don’t know what the outcome of this situation, circumstance or situation will be and I will accept whatever result that happens.”


o As soon as you find yourself starting to get angry, take a time out.

o I know what you’re thinking: That’s too simplistic; that’s what parents use for kids! But believe it or not, it really works.

o As you know, anger is a powerful feeling. The key to controlling such a powerful emotion is recognizing it as soon as it creeps in.

o Learn to recognize your own personal feelings of anger, and as soon as you begin to feel angry, take a time out-remove yourself from the situation.



o Maintain your personal power.

o You are powerful and capable of controlling your behavior.

o Never blame your anger on others.

o Be aware of “bad moods” and keep your guard up to maintain control of your behavior.

o Practice remaining calm when you feel angry, remove yourself from the situation, take a break, distract yourself with humor and I promise, with time, it will get easier!

THOUGHT MANAGEMENT TIP #6

o Anger management is a journey of change!

o Your negative emotions did not grow overnight. They will take time to change. At first it will be very difficult, but it WILL get easier.

o Remember that every day is an opportunity to start fresh. Any small changes are successes and any setbacks are opportunities to learn and tweak your techniques.

THOUGHT MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES ACTIVITY

o In this activity, think about something that makes you feel negative emotions.

o Next, go through the list of anger management tips and explore some different ways of resolving your negative emotions regarding the situation.

o Decide if any or all of these tips could help you resolve any anger issues you may be having.

o Thought Management Tip #1- Explore the Real Reason for Your Anger and decide if getting angry is really worth it.

o Thought Management Tip #2- Get in the habit of not judging anything

o Thought Management Tip #3- Avoid expecting any particular outcome. Let go of the outcome or result of events, circumstances and situations.

o Thought Management Tip #4- As soon as you find yourself starting to get angry, take a time out.

o Thought Management Tip #5- Maintain your personal power.

o Thought Management Tip #6- Anger management is a journey of change!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 10 THOUGHT MANAGEMENT STRATEGY ACTIVITY--------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THOUGHT MANAGEMENT STRATEGY

Respond to the following questions honestly. Provide feedback as to the management of your own anger.

1. How do I know when I’m having negative thoughts? How do I know when my thoughts

are positive?

2. How do I feel inside when I’m think negatively? How do I feel inside when I’m thinking

positively?

3. What actions do I take regarding my negative thinking to begin thinking positively? (Regarding behavior)

4. The last time I was thinking negative thoughts, what happened? What happens when I think negative thoughts now?


5. What are the reasons I usually become negative in my thinking? Am I always able to recognize my negative thinking? Have I ever felt angry or enraged without being aware of how miserable I feel?

6. If negative thinking leads to negative emotions and negative emotions lead to negative behavior, what problems have been caused by my negative thinking?

7. What relieves my negative thinking? Am I ever able to stop my negative thinking and

turn it around, what things am I thinking about that changes my negative thinking?

8. Am I happy? What is stopping me from being happy? What would make me happy?

9. If I permanently leave my current situation, will my negative feelings lessen, or would I

feel more negative? Would I be happier?


10. Do I hold everyone (including myself) responsible for their own happiness? Why or why

not? If I did that, would things be better or worse for me? Would they be the same?

THOUGHT MANAGEMENT GOALS

Identify ways to become more aware of your thoughts and how they affect your emotions and behaviors. Examine your positive and negative thinking… Analyze your goals and desired expectations.

1. Identify a situation or circumstance that causes you to begin thinking negative thoughts.

Analyze your goals and desired expectations. Break the situation or circumstance down into

steps. Examine whether you feel angry because of the situation or because you want to feel

better but don’t…

2. Identify a situation or circumstance that causes you to begin thinking positive thoughts.

Analyze your goals and desired expectations. Break the situation or circumstance down into

steps. Examine whether you feel happy because of the situation or because you enjoy feeling

so good…

3. Goals/Expectations: Describe your ideal self in regards to each situation above (or how you would like to react and emotions you would like to have in each situation)…


4. Write down any positive aspects in your life. Would you like those aspects to be enhanced or stay the same?

5. Describe any benefits that thinking positively has ever produced in your life…

6. Do feel that more good has come into your life due to thinking positively? Why?

7. Do you feel that happiness is a worthy accomplishment in life? Why?

8. What would you like to start doing differently?

9. According to the emotional guidance scale, where are you in terms of emotions right now? Where are you usually?


10. From where you are now on the emotional guidance scale, do you think you could move up one level? Where would you be then? Do you feel that the emotional guidance scale is a valuable tool for you?

Answering questions about your thought patterns and behavior will give you insight into

situations that make you feel angry or happy, etc. Identifying the situations, circumstances

and the consequences of your anger is the first step toward managing your own thoughts,

emotions and behaviors.

Respond to the following questions honestly and provide feedback as to the management of

your own decisions.

o How do I know when I’m making a bad decision?

o How do I feel inside when I’m making an important decision?

o What actions do I take regarding my decision making?

o The last time I made a bad decision, what happened?


o What are the reasons I usually make bad decisions?

o What problems have been caused by my decision making?

These questions will give you insight into situations that test your decision making skills. Identifying the situations, circumstances and the consequences of your decisions is the first step toward practicing critical thinking and effective decision making.

Identify ways to practice critical thinking and develop your decision making skills.

1. Identify a situation in which you have made a bad decision. Analyze your goals and desired expectations. Break the situation down into steps. Examine each step…

2. Situation: Describe the situation…

3. Goals/Expectations: Describe your ideal self in regards to the situation (or how you would have liked to react)…


4. Steps in the event: Now describe the situation in each step.

5. Describe any benefits that this decision produced

6. Did the decision cost you anything or cause any harm?

7. Did you experience regret due to your actions? Why?

8. What would you do differently?

9. What prevented you from doing things differently then?


10. How can you overcome these barriers in the future?

The most valuable skill or talent you could ever have is that of directing your thoughts towards

what you want.

Everything is energy, your thought begins it, you emotion amplifies it and your action increases

the momentum

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE COMPLETED DECISION MAKING FOR ADULTS.

“All suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the blind pursuit of their own happiness or satisfaction”—Dalai Lama

o Please remember: Change is an inevitable process of life. You do not have to force yourself to practice the concepts in this course. Simply being aware of and understanding the concepts will create small changes in your life experience.

o Every day is a new day. Every day is a new opportunity. Educating yourself is the key to a healthier, more satisfying life.

We wish you the very best,

RN, MSN AGNP

Program Director


NOTES:

Documents

COURT TOOLS PACKET - americanintegritycourses.com · Locus of control and decision making ☐ o ☐Locus of control examples o ☐Where is your locus of control? Activity: The locus