Crazy Hamtaro

The Story Version

By Max Chittock

With a special guest appearance by Aslan and Yoshi

Chapter 1: The Clubhouse Idea It was a beautiful morning. It was the same old beginning; Laura leaving school,

Hamtaro escaping and seeing Brandy.

“Morning, Brandy!”

And Brandy yawning, with Hamtaro rushing to the clubhouse. But things got a little

bit different…

“Hamha, everyone!” Hamtaro shouted.

“Hamha!”

Hamtaro noticed that the door was bigger than before.

“You did just notice that the door is bigger,” Boss said. “You know why? We‟re

making the Clubhouse bigger too!

“It‟ll have a pool, a jacuzzi, a resort…”

“Boss,” Oxnard said. “Did you mention those have safe water?”

“Oh. …a café, a play area and more!”

“You know what?” Lapis said. “I‟m gonna do a jewellery store!”

Lazuli said: “I‟m gonna do a candy store!”

Cappy and Pashmina: “A clothing store!”

Bijou: “A language school!”

Maxwell: “A library and bookstore!”

Howdy: “I‟ll do a joke show!”

Jingle: “Me and Sparkle will do a concert.”

Panda: “I‟ll be a repairer!”

Cappy: “Oh, yeah, Stucky‟s now part of the gang! Isn‟t it great?”

Boss: “It‟s gonna be the best clubhouse ever!”

Hamtaro: “Wow! But, what‟ll happen to the original Clubhouse?”

Boss: “Oh. Actually, this will be the office.”

Chapter 2: Mad Hamsters, Bad Adventures Suddenly, Hamtaro, Lapis and the other Ham-Hams heard a noise. It was going

monga, monga, monga, and somebody was saying it.

“What the heck?!” Hamtaro went.

It was a hamster who looked just like Hamtaro, but he was rubbing his head with his

feet!

Just then, he stopped and showed the Ham-Hams himself. He was a crazy version of

Hamtaro with bold eyebrows, funny eyes, his white fur on his nose and no arms!

Then he shouted them his version of „Hamha‟: “Hoikhee!”

Hamtaro was really shocked. “Oh, snap!” he shouted! “It‟s a wacko alien wannabe of

me!”

Lapis complained to Hamtaro: “Hey, watch your language!”

“Not really,” the wacky Hamtaro clone replied to Hamtaro. “I may look like one,

but… …I‟m Crazy Hamtaro”

Cappy was hiding himself in his pan.

“Cappy…” Stucky said to him.

Panda said: “Where are you exactly from?”

Crazy Hamtaro replied: “Well, the same country as yours! I‟m not making this up!”

Everyone stared.

Boss was even concerned. “Weird.”

Dexter asked: “Are there anymore crazy versions of us out there?”

Crazy Hamtaro: “Yep-P!”

Then he whistled for the others to come out.

There was a Crazy Oxnard with a chocolate-covered sunflower seed, small, funny

eyes and all-white fur, a new Ham-Ham called Milky with wide eyes, no nose and

almost everything on him cream colour, a Crazy Bijou (who is actually from Poland)

with a big, wacky mouth, a big, fur-covered nose and insane eyes, a Crazy Boss who

thinks he‟s a girl, a Crazy Snoozer who slept with his eyes wide open in a balloon and

many more crazy versions of the Ham-Hams!

Panda was shocked. “Woah.”

Chapter 3: The Crazy Ham-Ham Takeover Just then, Crazy Oxnard asked Crazy Hamtaro: “Errr… can we take over this place?”

Crazy Hamtaro replied: “No-B.”

Every other crazy Ham-Ham: “PLEEEEASE?”

Even though he actually didn‟t want to, he just sighed, and thought: „Very well, then.‟

So he said: “Yep-B.”

All the original Hams screamed! (Except Snoozer)

The Ham-Hams ran away with some Hams at the back dragging Snoozer and his

sock.

Snoozer knew that it was his first day out with all of the Ham-Hams! (His previous

was where he got lost.) He finally woke up. “I‟m up, and not sleeping anymore, only

at night!” A miracle!

The Ham-Hams were outside in the forest, sad, while the Crazy Ham-Hams were

taking charge of the Ham-Ham Clubhouse. Then, they heard footsteps. It was Laura!

Chapter 4: Laura Maroona The Ham-Hams looked up from the legs. Their pupils shrunk when they looked all the

way up. Wait just a cotton-pickin‟ minute! That‟s not Laura! It‟s Crazy Laura!

She had long and messy hair, funny eyes, two buckteeth and a diaper with a pink

elephant on it! When Crazy Hamtaro was first going to the Clubhouse, she and Crazy

Kana met up with original Laura and Kana.

She and Crazy Kana made them surprised. The Ham-Hams screamed and ran away.

Crazy Laura chased them and slobbered in her funny, slobberish voice:

“C‟mon,hammie-hamsters,comean‟play! Ifyado,I‟llgivey‟allagreatbigkiss!”

Hamtaro knew the kiss will be sloppy! Yuck! And kissing hamsters? No way!

Cappy threw his pot at Crazy Laura‟s head. All she could see were stars and birds.

“Widdle birdies…” she murmured as she fell backwards!

“Ha-ha!” Boss shouted. “That should cure you, ya donut!”

Chapter 5: In a Circle

Meanwhile, the Crazy Ham-Hams visited the beach! They had the same antics there.

Soon, the Ham-Hams were sitting together in a circle.

Stan said: “Well, at least there are girls outside that I can…”

“…flirt with,” Sandy angrily continued.

Stan moaned.

“Really, at least the crazy clones of us won‟t screw up our idea for the new

Clubhouse,” Dexter said.

Howdy said: “Hey, di..“

“No more jokes, Howdy,” Dexter interrupted. “Try to remember the joke, OK?”

“Boy, I‟m hungry,” Bijou moaned.

“Us too,” everyone said except Lazuli and Oxnard.

“I bet you all are,” said Lazuli. “Luckily, I‟ve got candy in my purse! Wanna chow?”

“Yep-P!” everyone shouted.

They all tried one, and the food was delicious. Now, Oxnard has two favourite foods!

When the Crazy Ham-Hams were back at the Clubhouse, so were the originals.

“So,” said Boss to the Crazy Ham-Hams. “wanna piece of us? Here we are.”

Then, everyone had a battle.

Howdy told a joke to Crazy Howdy. “Knock, Knock!”

Crazy Howdy replied “Who‟s there?”

“Boot”

“Boot who?”

“Knock, Knock!”

“Who‟s there?”

“Thwing”

“Thwing who?”

“Knock, Knock!”

“Who‟s there?”

“Bonk”

“Bonk who?”

Then Howdy kicked him up in the air! Boot! Thwing! Bonk!

But, the battle ended.

Chapter 6: The Battle’s End

The battle ended because of this: when Hamtaro was about to whack Crazy Hamtaro

at the corner, Crazy Hamtaro was worried and frightened. Hamtaro‟s mind parts

changed back to friendship mind parts.

Hamtaro felt sorry for him and apologised. “I‟m sorry.”

Crazy Hamtaro stopped getting frightened. Everyone stared. Boss had just turned nice

because of that. Everyone else instantly said sorry to the Crazy Ham-Hams, rubbing

their heads.

Howdy fainted, so Dexter tickled him.

“Hey, C.H.,” Hamtaro asked to Crazy Hamtaro. “Do you want to be part of the gang

and help on the new Clubhouse?”

Crazy Hamtaro was really happy.

Dexter and Howdy were really happy too.

Oxnard was really happy also. He said: “I won‟t cry…” He paused for 5 seconds, and

wailed. “…but I just love happy endings! WAAAAAH!”

Chapter 7: Constructing the Clubhouse

Soon the Ham-Hams and Crazy Ham-Hams dug a big tunnel together. They made a

big, wide space in the dirt for the new Clubhouse. Then, they put a ceiling, a floor and

walls on each side. They painted the walls. They got the objects they kept in their idea

object collection in the “office”. They put up the jacuzzi and pool. When Lazuli was

working on the candy shop, she threw a magic powder bag to Lapis so she could

make the water safe for hamsters. Stan did the arcade, which Boss didn‟t mention.

When Cappy, Stucky and Pashmina were working on the clothing shop, Stucky

tripped and he actually fell out of his hamster-toy tube. “Woo-Hoo!” Another miracle!

The rest of the Hams did everything else. Even Sparkle met Jingle and got a crush on

him. One of the bestsellers in Maxwell‟s bookshop was the Ham-Ham Dictionary!

Oxnard got to be the voiceover for the new Clubhouse while Dexter put glass over the

cave to protect it from rain, so the others wouldn‟t get wet or a flood wouldn‟t get in.

Everyone put a new door on the entrances and finally, Hamtaro and Crazy Hamtaro

put up a sign saying „Hamha/Hoikhee!‟

Oxnard spoke through the microphone. “The New and Fantastic Clubhouse is now

open! All hamsters and crazy hamsters welcome. Thank you.”

Crazy Hamtaro said to the Ham-Hams: “Seriously, this is gonna be the best

Clubhouse ever!”

Boss replied: “You‟re right, C.H.”

“Ookyoo! Ookwee!” Penelope went.

Then Harmony and Spat flew in. Spat had changed.

“Hamha, everyone! Tee-hee! Guess what?” she giggled to the Ham-Hams and Crazy

Ham-Hams. “Spat‟s now a hero!”

“Yeah!” replied Spat. “And no longer am I gonna say „Pfpth‟! I‟m now helping

Harmony.”

“Schmubby-Wubby!” Harmony and Spat said to each other.

Then everyone heard a big crowd running and speaking.

“Heke? Who‟s there?” Sparkle said.

“Your guests! Tee-hee!” Harmony giggled.

Stan‟s eyes shrunk. “Uh-oh…”

Chapter 8: A Happy Ending

Every hamster the gang met came in to the fantastic place!

Omar, Sabu, Pepper, Seamore, Barrette, Bo and the Rainbow Girls, Ninja-Ham,

Eggy-P, Buster, Dewey, DJ Ham, Elder Ham, Auntie Viv, Chef Ham, Hannah,

Seedric, Broski, Postie, Flora, Ook-Ook, Carrobo and more! Full house.

ZZ

Every hamster outside the new place opened the door. “Oooh! Ahhh!”

After 3 seconds, Bo, who was at the front, shouted with his hands in the air: “Party

on, dudes!”

All the hamsters had a great time.

Penelope went to the language school by Bijou and then could speak English! “Guess

what, Pashmina?”

“I know! You can speak English now!” Pashmina continued.

No burglar ever came to Lapis‟ jewellery shop. Even there were outfits of the Ham-

Hams at Pashmina, Cappy and Stucky‟s clothing shop! Lapis and Lazuli were amazed

to see hamsters wearing the same costumes as theirs.

Boss, Hamtaro, Crazy Hamtaro, Seamore, Barrette, Harmony and Spat were in the

jacuzzi.

“Won‟t you look at all those Ham-Hams,” Crazy Hamtaro said. “What happened to

my owner, Crazy Laura?”

Hamtaro, Oxnard and Boss didn‟t know what to say.

Hamtaro replied: “Err… we were out in the forest and then she chased us, because she

wanted to own us and give us a kiss, but Cappy threw his pot at her and, errr…”

Crazy Hamtaro stared.

Hamtaro, Oxnard and Boss gulped.

Crazy Hamtaro didn‟t mind. He smiled. “Ah, well. She was a bit too gross for me,

anyway. Besides, who would kiss a hamster? Bleurgh!”

Hamtaro replied: “I‟m glad you don‟t mind. Let‟s be friends….”

Oxnard was sad.

Hamtaro continued: “…still with Oxnard.”

Hamtaro and Oxnard put their hands behind each other‟s backs.

Crazy Hamtaro couldn‟t, because he had no arms!

Every other hamster in the jacuzzi laughed.

The End

Bonus Chapter: What happened to Laura

Crazy Hamtaro saw a crow when going to the Ham-Ham Clubhouse. When it was

about to attack him, he ran through the cave. But then, he remembered one of his

special abilities. He burst out and roared the roar of a lion!

The crow screamed and flew away! So Crazy Hamtaro entered the Clubhouse.

He actually thought it was his Clubhouse until he saw the Ham-Hams.

Laura and Kana were chatting until they saw Crazy Laura (a.k.a. Laura Maroona) and

Crazy Kana (a.k.a. Banana Iwata).

“Hey,youlookjustlikeus!” Crazy Kana blabbered. Her voice was shrill and seemed to

be fast-forwarded.

She had ink blots on her shirt all the time, she had two wheel-image glasses, a wide

mouth and the nose of a clown!

Original Laura and Kana side-stepped next to the crazy versions of them and walked

away.

While Laura and Kana were at school, Mr. Yoshi talked about two new subsitutes.

“Today, we have two new substitutes…” he said to the class. He looked around at the

new students and worried. “Uh, eheh, Laura Maroona and Banana Iwata!”

It was Crazy Laura and Crazy Kana!

Laura stared in shock. “LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!” she shouted, pointing at

them!

“I guess I have an ugly twin sister!” Kana complained.

Crazy Laura and Crazy Kana started clucking like chickens and doing the Chicken

Dance! Every other kid laughed. Mr. Yoshi stared in shock. Laura and Kana looked at

each other.

“Well, guess we should join in, too,” Kana said. So Laura and Kana laughed as well.

To stop it, Mr. Yoshi shouted angrily to the crazy cluckers: “DETENTION FOR

YOU TWO!”

Every other kid sat on their chairs. Just then, a Crazy Mr. Yoshi went in, doing the

Chicken Dance, too! He was a Yoshi from Super Mario!

“Yoshi!” he went! He then stretched his tounge out at Mr. Yoshi and ate him! He then

laid, an egg, with Mr. Yoshi in it!

Mr. Yoshi said, muffled: “Recess.”

While the kids were outside, Travis, Melanie, Kylie, June, Maria, Mimi and Glitter

with Sparkle came. The kids told all about the crazy vesions of them and their

hamsters.

Travis told them: “There is a crazy me out there who always wears underpants and

was standing on the pavement with his hands in the air, two fingers sticking out on

each hand, his eyes tightly closed and his mouth open with his tongue sticking out!

Look! He‟s doing it again!” He pointed to Crazy Travis, doing the mad pose.

Maria told them: “There is a crazy me out there who has an extremely long fringe,

and she and her Crazy Bijou are from Poland! She can also flip lips! Oh yeah, Laura. I

found that your hamster is in love with mine!”

Glitter told them: “There is a crazy me out there who loves heavy metal and talks

extremely loud! Her candy she advertises is extremely partially hydrogenated! Her

Crazy Sparkle is a real Elvis fan and only says „Elvis‟. But when she‟s in singing

mode, she‟s like a radio! She sings Elvis songs in the original voice!”

Sparkle was shocked when she first saw Crazy Sparkle!

All other kids came and told Laura and Kana about their happenings.

Even Brandy and Herbert were shocked to see crazy versions of them! Crazy Brandy

(a.k.a. Whisky) meowed like a cat and even could speak full English, and Crazy

Herbert had a duck‟s beak, a horse‟s back and the moo of a cow! The crazy roosters

had really long legs and could shout “Cockly-doadle-doob!”

Wherever Laura went, Crazy Laura followed. When Laura went swimming, Crazy

Laura acted like a dophin, and made dolphin noises! Then, she reeked. Weird!

♫You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog…♪

Later, a worried bird flew onto Laura‟s shoulder. It twittered to tell her there is a crazy

version of him, but when the crazy bird, who looked fine, came onto Laura‟s right

arm, Laura replied: “Don‟t be silly, there‟s nothing wrong with that bird.”

But the crazy bird spoke like a parrot! It went: “Braaak! Pretty Polly!”

Laura screamed, waving her arm! The crazy bird flew away.

Soon, Laura had an idea. She told it to Kana. “I‟ve got an idea! We can get rid of the

crazy versions of us!” So she told what they would do.

When Laura had finished, she and Kana found a rocket in Crazy Travis‟ backpack,

which can send you flying into space! C.T. was a troublemaker. So Laura and Kana

put the rocket up Crazy Travis‟ shirt and then he flew up in the air and never came

back! He flew all the way up to the Milky Way!

Laura and Kana laughed. So they did it to the others except the hamsters, who were

out in the Crazy Ham-Ham Clubhouse. Then, when they were about to get rid of

Crazy Laura after they threw Crazy Kana into a garbage can, she ran away into the

forest.

“Well, at least she‟s gone,” Kana said.

“Yeah! Who ya gonna call? Clown-Busters!” Laura and Kana sang.

Laura paused. “But what about the Crazy Mr. Yoshi?” she replied. “We also have to

save Mr. Yoshi.”

But, Crazy Mr. Yoshi threw the egg with Mr. Yoshi in it.

Mr. Yoshi was screaming inside the egg as it was flying! Then, it crashed!

“Oooooh!” Kana shouted, reacting to the crash.

“Too late,” Laura groaned.

Crazy kids, crazy hamsters, crazy birds, and a Yoshi. What next?

A bonus funny quote from Hamtaro:

Boss: Hamtaro, where'd you learn to bounce like that?

Hamtaro: Saw it on a cartoon once.

A quote from the Singaporean version:

Hamtaro: What would Michael Jackson do?

Reminder: Schmubby-Wubby = showing affection

Based on the characters created by Ritsuko Kawai

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe courtesy of Walt

Disney Pictures and Walden Media (based on the book by C.S. Lewis)

Super Mario and Yoshi courtesy of Nintendo

Hope you didn‟t edit this! Print it, please.