creating synergy in the world “Difference is the Beginning of synergy”

2010Cynthia C. Wesley-Esquimaux, PhD

1. Exercise the freedom to choose your attitude…

2. Realize your will to meaning…

3. Detect the meaning of life’s moments…

4. Don’t work against yourself…

5. Look at yourself from a distance…

6. Shift your focus of attention…

7. Extend beyond yourself…

1. Choosing your attitude…The freedom to choose is present in

every single aspect of our lives. It can be difficult, even when we are relatively “free”, because we all struggle under various constraints and with things beyond our control. Bringing them under control, even if only in an attitudinal sense, is where our freedom takes shape no matter what the life/work circumstances.

Frankl called this choosing a “coping maxim” although most of us are taught about “coping mechanisms” turn it around and look from the other side and learn to see all sides of the box (elder’s story).

1. We can choose a positive attitude about the situation at hand.

2. We can choose an attitude that supports a form of creative visualization about what’s possible;

3. We can choose an attitude that generates passion for the “action “that makes the possible become a reality.

Visualize: work to feel the emotion or passion that will help us actualize the possibility – exercise (10 things)

List ten Positive things that would happen if you lost your job today?

Recall a situation in your work life in which you consciously chose your attitude about it.

Meaning Question: How do you maintain a positive attitude at work or in the workplace?








2. Realizing your will to meaning…

There is such a thing as Will to Power (Adler), and Will to Pleasure (Freud), but you can move away from these, which are more attempts to cover up a VOID of meaning in your life, (depression, aggression and addiction) towards a Will to Meaning which is about filling you up.

Only the search for meaning holds the potential to bring authentic enrichment and fulfillment from work and life, and releases our full human potential.

Living and working from the inside out, is a choice, both of attitude and action.

Recall a situation in your work life in which you were challenged to examine your commitment to meaningful values or goals.

How did you come to recognize the challenge?

Meaning Question: How do you ensure that you remain committed to meaningful values and goals, and thereby your will to meaning, at work or in the workplace?








3. Detecting the meanings of life’s moments…

The 13th century Sufi poet Rumi wrote,

“It’s never too late to bend and kiss the earth.”

We don’t create meaning; we find it.And, we can’t find it if we don’t look for it.Meaning come in all shapes and sizes.Sometimes big, and sometimes small, and

sometimes missed until quite a while after the event happens.

All we have to do, in daily life and at work, is to wake up to meaning and take notice.

It all comes down to awareness. In this regard, it has been said that “it is more important to be aware than it is to be smart.”

Like it or not everything you do has meaning.

Life retains its meaning under any conditions. It remains meaningful literally up to its last moment, up to one’s last breath. Therefore, knowing why we do things is essential, and the beginning of real freedom and meaning. The truth is, Love, is the ultimate goal.

Take a few minutes to write your own Eulogy, keeping in mind the above statement.

Recall a situation in your life where you were forced to deal with the fear of change, what did you do about it?

Meaning Question: How is your work like a mission rather than a series of tasks?









The meaning of life is meaning. The meaning of life at work is meaning.

When we look for meaning, there is meaning in the looking.

But, if we try too hard to create meaning, it can often backfire, especially at work. Do we react or respond?

The job at which one works is not what counts, but rather the manner in which one does the work.

Paradoxical Intention: Our good intentions can actually become the cause of our failure. Do not overlook your relationships to reach a specific success or goal. Now, Now, and Now.

Paradoxical Intention is the exact opposite of persuasion, since it is not suggested that the patient simply suppress his fears, but rather, that he overcome them by exaggerating them.

Recall a situation in your work life in which the harder you worked to achieve an outcome the farther away you seemed to be from your goal.

Meaning question: How do you ensure that you don’t work against yourself?








5. Looking at yourself from a distance…

First of all, if we do not have work in the form of a paid job it does not mean that life itself has no meaning for us.

Humour is the greatest gift we can bring to our working world, it is the great equalizer.

A sense of humour is usually accompanied by cheerfulness.

Tragedy takes us to the depths of our grief. Going THROUGH grief gets us to cheerfulness.

Real cheerfulness is not a have-a-nice-day artifice.

It is about really about experiencing Now, Now, and Now.

We can see, feel, and appreciate ourselves as separate from distress. We don’t deny; we accept

and rise above!

Recall a situation in your work life from which you felt the need to distance yourself before you could find a proper resolution.

Meaning Question: How do you use humour as a way of putting distance between yourself and a challenge at work, instead of getting obsessed with the situation?









By shifting our focus to positive experiences, we are able to find meaning potential in our predicament.

Two things happen when we think good thoughts on the job: we feel better at work and we are better at work.

Imagination is more important that knowledge (Einstein).

You do ultimately still have the freedom to leave or stay in your job.

We need to remember that life is huge, and so are our lives.

Being who we are and doing our job is the most powerful combination of all.

Mental Excursion Exercise: Jot on a piece of paper the situation, problem, or predicament you

are facing in your job. Now, list analogous (similar) situations to yours, stretch your

imagination by deferring judgment , using free association to find situations.

Fill in the blanks – “My problem situation ____ is just like _____ .” For example: “the challenge of merging departments” is just like “getting married.”

Select 2 items from your list of active analogies and brainstorm the things you would have to do or have in order to resolve each of the situations.

Use this as a springboard to frame creative solutions rather than simply complaining, allow the differences, skills, and motivations to surface.

Meaning Question: In what ways do you use imagination to shift your focus of attention when dealing with problematic situations at work?








7. Extend beyond yourself…When we choose to work creatively and

productively with others, our experience of meaning can be profound.

When we work directly for the good of others, meaning deepens in ways that reward us beyond measure.

The human spirit is illuminated when we create meaning beyond our own lives.

Good intentions are not enough to grow anything, let alone meaning.

Getting to forgiveness – of ourselves and others - is perhaps the most challenging thing we can do to go beyond ourselves.

Forgive and liberate yourself from further captivity in all areas of your life.

Recall a situation in your work in which you felt the need to self-transcend, or extend beyond yourself, in order to deal with it. How did you extend beyond yourself to deal with the situation.

Self-reflexivity leads to synergy with others.

Meaning Question: in what ways do you relate and direct to something other than yourself?

SILENCE(Deadly/Imposed/Control)

Readiness(You, family, community)

Starting a Conversation

Your/My Reception is Significant

InvitingA

Connection(Elders/Youth/Men)

AWARENESS(CONSCIOUSNESS)

Relinquishment

(Letting go/Releasing Pain)

Renouncement

(Unhealthy Belief Systems/Biases)

Responsibility(Self/Family/Community/Nation)

RESPECT(Self/Other/Environment/Earth)

Discipline(Self/Lifetime/Learning/Teaching)

REVERENCE(+Love/Silence = Birth/Life)

Seven Fundamental Values/Teachings: 1. Courage – to take the first step towards

awareness is the beginning of our inner journey…

2. Honesty – to speak our own truth without shame or anger…to allow the pain…

3. Humility – to know that we are all in this together, that my story is not the only story, that others have suffered too…brings compassion…

4. Respect – to know that others deserve the same regard that you do…give to get…

5. Truth – your beliefs frame your inner reality…question and surrender the need to be right…

6. Love – to know that you must love yourself before you can ever really love another…allow the reverence, relinquish the pain…

7. Wisdom – to know that to achieve true peace and acceptance we must embrace an inner expansiveness and an outer inclusiveness…

Variations on the Seven: Patience , Kindness and Compassion; Others that you can share from your life lessons??

Elder Fred Wheatley stated the following:

“You have to live in the world in which you find yourself.”

Therefore, how we see and interpret the world has a great deal to do with how we “respond” to it…and, we need to learn to consciously respond to it, not “react.”

…mindful awareness/consciousness requires that you stop, assess, and respond. This is because it is not what we remember, it’s HOW we remember it that creates distress.

So, let’s look at perceptions…

In real life situations our perceptions are influenced by:

1. Past Experiences – Expectations of how individuals and groups “do” behave, and what you “expect” of others in a given situation generally based on what you “know” to be true.

What if you shift your perspective? 2. Self-Concept – Beliefs about the kind of

person you are – or, would like to be seen as. What if you expect acceptance as you are?

3. Obligations – What you think others expect of you in the situation based on your history together. What you expect of yourself in the situation based on previous reactions and experiences.

What if I respond differently? 4. Objectives – Ask yourself, what am I

trying to achieve in this situation. What is my present task or established (perhaps calcified?) goal.

What if I change my goal?

5. Sentiments – Your loyalties, prejudices, likes and dislikes of specific individuals and groups. Examine and know so you ACT responsibly.

6. Ideals – Ways you think people “should” behave and how things “ought to be.”

What we want is for you to stop “shoulding” on yourself and move towards allowing the seven values we have already discussed proper room to grow within and around you.

“We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a

habit.”

You hold in your own hands knowledge and experience…and keep in mind that Western models emphasize knowledge, Anishnaabek models emphasize knowing…

1. As a group take the value/principle you have been given, then discuss and define it.

2. Take an agreed upon situation (work or personal) and illustrate how you have applied that value as a tool for resolution.

3. Pick a spokesperson, discuss and define how they will present the situation.

4. Listen and make note of other ideas.

Next, we want to move our perspectives and perceptions from Western model “best practices” to: Anishnabek

“WISE PRACTICES”

Why? Our people already have a toolkit that they can access…it is a full box, but it requires reaching out, reaching in, and giving back.

The seven values/principles are all yours.

1. Allowing people to “know” themselves without imposing interference or definition

2. Respecting and listening for answers that quietly come from within…learn to be still

3. Trusting natural law…it is what it is 4. Being invitational and open to

approach…do no harm

5. Allowing time where time is required to create a natural framework for healing

6. Embracing grief and allowing pain…learn to feel and experience its exquisite gift, which will then take you through to pure joy

7. Allowing a sense of harmony, balance and goodwill through accessing and trusting your inner knowledge

We all have access from birth to what I call the “oh oh” principle…trust your instincts!

Terms and tools to contemplate:

Locus of Control…you to “I”

Reframing…Elder Merle Beedie

Bracketing…Dr. Scott Peck

Dreaming – using your inner world to inform your outer world – drum story, everything is good

Storytelling – everybody has a story – learn to mine your life for the buried diamonds

Walking the Talk – role modeling as teaching tool; the children are watching

Worldview – understanding who you really are and speaking it often and with pride

Bill Clinton: “It is not enough to tell someone to say NO, you

have to give them something to say YES to

when they wake up in the morning.”

To implement any kind of tool or strategy we have to establish a level of physical safety (King), that will allow a person, a family, a community, and a Nation to focus on the entirety of their needs;

Love – Creator – Reverence – PeaceCom/passion – Respect – DisciplineAchievement – Trust – Responsibility

It is important to assess needs fully and allow an individual the respect of speaking their needs, their truths, and their readiness; Meet my needs story – Jen and me…

Develop a Healthy Community Chart: (all)

To get here requires enlivening the adage: Feed a man a fish, and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.

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creating synergy in the world “Difference is the Beginning of synergy”