CREDENTIALED PRACTITIONER OF COACHING Module 2 9 /M2... · coach with 20 clients who all appreciate my service and pay $200 per hour, on time and happily and I love what I do. •Keep

CREDENTIALED PRACTITIONER OF COACHING

Module 2

PERSONAL MASTERY

THE COACHING INSTITUTE | Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching

Copyright © The Coaching Institute | All Rights Reserved | GSI MODULE 2 V1 | OCT 2014 2

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MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY | Goal Setting Overview


Contents Goal Setting Overview ................................................................................................. 5

In this section the participant will explore – .................................................................................. 5

Training delivery – ................................................................................................................................ 5

Major learning outcomes – ................................................................................................................. 5

Goal Setting ................................................................................................................... 6

S.M.A.R.T. Goal Setting ............................................................................................... 7

More on Goals ............................................................................................................... 8

Fears......................................................................................................................................................... 8

Secondary gain ....................................................................................................................................... 9

Alternative choices ............................................................................................................................. 10

Distractions when goal setting ......................................................................................................... 11

Exploring Beliefs Overview .................................................................................. 13

In this section the participant will explore – ....................................................................... 13

Training delivery – ........................................................................................................................ 13

Major learning outcomes – ......................................................................................................... 13

Introduction ............................................................................................................. 14

Clues to limiting beliefs ................................................................................................................. 15

Ladder of Inference: ...................................................................................................................... 16

Model for Beliefs ...................................................................................................... 17

The model we use is: ...................................................................................................................... 17

Coach Tip ............................................................................................................................................ 17

The questions to ask to discover the client’s beliefs: .......................................................... 18

Questions to shift client beliefs: ................................................................................................. 18

The ‘Be’ When Coaching ........................................................................................ 20



GOAL SETTING

MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY | Goal Setting Overview


Goal Setting Overview

In this section the participant will explore –

□ The SMART Model for goal setting

□ More on goals

□ Fears and goals

□ Secondary gain

□ Alternative choices

□ Distractions when goal setting

Training delivery –

□ Class discussion

□ Demonstrations

□ Supervised practice

Major learning outcomes –

THE COACH WILL

□ Be able to communicate effectively with their client

□ Be able to actively listen to their client

□ Be able to clarify the client to ensure understanding

□ Understand the importance of acknowledgment and how to acknowledge

appropriately



Goal Setting

Your role as the coach is to develop and maintain an effective coaching plan with the client. You are there to –

Brainstorm with the client to define actions that will enable the client to

demonstrate, practice and deepen new learnings

Engage the client to explore alternative ideas and solutions, to evaluate options, and

to make related decisions

Challenge the client’s assumptions and perspectives to provoke new ideas and find

new possibilities for action

Encourage stretches and challenges

Consolidate collected information and establish with the client a coaching plan

Create a plan with results that are attainable, measurable, specific and have target

dates

Assist the client to make plan adjustments as needed by the coaching process and by

changes to the situation

Identify early successes to assist the client to build momentum

Beyond the goal setting, you are also there to –

Keep the client on track with their chosen goals

Promote self-discipline and hold the client accountable for what they say they are

going to do

Assist the client to develop their ability to make decisions and address key concerns

in a resourceful way

Positively confront the client with the fact that they did not take agreed-upon actions

Coaching is about assisting your client to move from where they are to where they want to be – and to do this there are some simple models to assist.

MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY | S.M.A.R.T. Goal Setting


S.M.A.R.T. Goal Setting

The SMART Model is often used to assist your clients in setting goals.

FOR EXAMPLE – It is Christmas 2009 and I am at Anglesea beach, toasting my success as a coach with 20 clients who all appreciate my service and pay $200 per hour, on time and

happily and I love what I do.

•Keep the goals simple and focused, rather than wordy and vague

•Be specific with what is to be achieved – the more specific the better

S SIMPLE

•Make sure the achievement of this goal is measurable ie ask the question ‘How will you know you’ve achieved this goal?’ ‘What will be different once this is accomplished?’

M MEASURABLE

•The goal must be appealing to the client – not just for the short term, but the long term also

•As if now – state the goal as if it is already achieved, with the date stating the date of successful achievement of the goal

A ATTRACTIVE

•The goal needs to be achievable – ie tennis champion in two years having never played and in their forties would not be attainable

R REALISTIC

•Stated as if it’s done

•Know when it will be achieved

T TIMED



More on Goals

Central to coaching is what the client is going to do differently, more of, less of and what action they will take that will precipitate the change they seek. This means you need to ask

at the end and during the session –

“Would you like to do that?”

“Is that something you would like to commit to?”

Explored more fully in Getting Started

Sometimes when a client commits to a goal or course of action, there will be some

underlying fears they will need to deal with, and they may not even be aware of them.

Sometimes there is secondary gain – a benefit derived from not changing that needs to be

dealt with also. The path needs to be reasonably clear of these obstacles for the client to

success in achieving their goals.

Fears

A fear does not have to be rational, or even reasonable. If it’s real for the client, then that is

enough for it to need dealing with.

If you notice hesitance in the client around a commitment, ask – “Is there something around this we need to look at?”

Notice the question is open enough that the client can share anything that comes up as a result, rather than just sharing a fear. Maybe their uncertainty was a new awareness of just

how powerful they truly are, rather than fear, so don’t imagine hesitance is always fear.

Sometimes it will be fear. Ask – “Can we look at how to best resolve this in your mind?” or “How do you see yourself moving through this / letting this go / managing this?”

Another way to assist the client is to ask the Cartesian co-ordinate questions –

“What will happen if you do this?”

“What won’t happen if you do this?”

“What will happen if you don’t do this?”

“What won’t happen if you don’t do this?”

The section on Beliefs in the Advanced Skills manual offers more insights into this topic

MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY | More on Goals


Secondary gain

Secondary gain is a payoff or benefit that the client perceives (consciously or unconsciously)

they get from continuing a course of action or non-action. It can sometimes lead to self-

sabotaging behaviour. For example, the client really wants to go for the promotion, and

arrives late to all the interviews. They say they really want it, but coaching reveals that they

feel safer not getting the promotion, and they actually feared the consequences of all the

extra responsibility.

A good insight to share with a client is – “We all do what works for us on some level. Everything.”

THE CLIENT WILL OFTEN SAY – “BUT THIS DOESN’T WORK!”

PERSIST.

Have certainty that we all do what works on some level. Every action and choice gives us

something that we believe we need. Often a choice to not act looks like laziness, and it is

inevitably due to fear of change, and the secondary gain is that they get to stay safe through

not changing.

Share this insight with clients where it is relevant. It adds a new level of awareness to their understanding of why they do what they do.

So many people get trapped and caught up in trying to figure out why they do what they do, and why they didn’t do something, and why they sabotaged something… you can save they a

whole lot of thinking! For many clients, it’s a relief to realise that their choices were for a

positive intention – to protect them.

Ask your client

“Now that you know you were only wanting to keep yourself safe, what real risk

is there in taking this course of action?”

Generally, there is little real risk at all.

For more on this, look at the pain pleasure model for creating leverage.



Alternative choices

Sometimes there is a number of choices the client needs/wants to make. The simple

perception of too many choices can hamper progress for the client. To assist the client to

decide, ask them to make smaller decisions and commit to smaller actions, rather than the

‘all or nothing’ approach which many clients think they need to do.

ALL OF NOTHING TENDS TO RESULT IN NOTHING HAPPENING,

BECAUSE THE ALL SEEMS SO BIG AND DIFFICULT TO ACHIEVE.

For more on this, see the Kaizen section in the Advanced Skills manual.

Brainstorm with the client the various options and have them prioritise them in order of

importance. Importance can be assessed on time, desire, urgency, benefits to the client,

benefits to others, short term gain, medium and long term gain, and how the desired

choices fit into the broader context of the client’s life and vision.

Often the choice becomes clearer once they focus on what is most in alignment with their values. It can also be assisted by choosing based on importance and urgency, rather than just

importance.

Another approach is to have the client make small commitments to action in a number of different priorities, so they can get a sense of progress across different areas of their life.

This can be rewarding, if they can do it, because they begin to collect reference points for

success and that means successfully acting becomes easier as they go along.

Don’t dismiss any choice because you don’t see its relevance. It’s your client’s perception of

importance and urgency that counts.

Check in for obstacles that may occur, either in the client’s thoughts or in reality. This is covered in the DARE Model.

If you see something that could benefit the client, and they haven’t noticed it, share it with an easy and relaxed tone, so they are free to reject it if they don’t see it fit it in. learn to let

go of strong attachment to your suggestions, and that way the client will be more willing to

consider them!

If you see a clear pathway the client has not considered, share it by saying something like – “I’m wondering if this approach is a possibility as we go forward…”

If you see a bigger picture they haven’t considered, share with them – “I’m wondering how

this might fit in with your goal of owning your own business in the next few months…”



Distractions when goal setting

The client will sometimes have a goal setting strategy that includes throwing everything into

the pot, including the irrelevant, and wondering why they don’t act! They include everything

from their childhood, a chance conversation, stuff that’s got them busy in work… rather

than getting caught up in this clutter, be a guide for your client by assisting them to focus on

what counts.

“What do we need to consider when making this one decision?”

“What can we leave out?”

“How can we narrow our focus?”

“What’s distracting us?”

“What’s the top three important parts of this decision?”

“What would someone who had already done this focus on?”

“What could you leave out?”

Invite your client to notice their strategy of overwhelming their senses with all the noise and

encourage them to design and use a simply strategy in the coaching session itself. By them

‘trying it on’ in the session, they will have evidence of clear thinking and its benefits, and thus

be more likely to want to do it again.

The more they practice this clear thinking in the sessions with you, with encouragement and feedback and guidance, the more likely they will be to have positive experiences of this

strategy when they go and apply it in their everyday life.

Stretch your client when they attempt this, even if they are uncomfortable.

Anything new, unless we are practiced experiencing new, will feel

uncomfortable. This is normal and you need to be certain than their doubt about

the effectiveness of trying something new.



EXPLORING BELIEFS



Exploring Beliefs Overview

In this section the participant will explore –

□ Beliefs and their role in creating transformation

Training delivery –

□ Class discussion

□ Ongoing demonstrations through live coaching demonstrations

□ Advanced Skills Training

□ Face-to-face training

□ DVDs

□ Ongoing demonstrations through live coaching demonstrations

Major learning outcomes –

THE COACH WILL

□ Be able to identify a client’s limiting beliefs

□ Understand how to challenge limiting beliefs

□ Recognise language patterns that limit possibilities and choices

□ Know how to ask questions that reveal information needed for maximum benefit for the client

□ Improve even more their ability to communicate directly and effectively with their client



Introduction

Our beliefs are feelings of certainty about what something means and they can either support us or hold us back. The meaning we give to our lives and to the world around us is

linked to the beliefs that we have held onto, sometimes for decades (even when they no

longer support us).

PERCEPTION IS PROJECTION

Our beliefs govern how we perceive the world

Our beliefs are feelings of certainty about what something means. Our beliefs govern how we perceive the world. Our beliefs create our world.

Every belief is made up. If beliefs are not reality, why not make up beliefs that will support us as we go about creating ideal lives? Beliefs are based on past experience. They can either

move us forward or hold us back. They are judgements about competencies, worth,

acceptability, strength, weaknesses, etc.

The meaning we give our lives and the world around us is linked to the beliefs that we have

held onto, even when the beliefs do not support us. We behave in a certain way as a result of our beliefs and based on this, we send out messages to the world.

In coaching we need to be aware of any limiting or self-destructive beliefs that the client

may be holding onto.

Most people hold beliefs that do not serve them, yet are unaware of this.



Clues to limiting beliefs

LISTEN FOR NEGATORS...

□ ‘That always happens.’

□ ‘I never get it right.’

□ ‘This won’t work.’

□ ‘This is hard’.

□ ‘Why can’t I do it?’

□ ‘This should happen.’

□ ‘TRY…’

To find out what a client’s beliefs are, be aware of the language they use. If someone says, ‘I

always…’ you are about to discover a belief!

Anthony Robbins discusses the three beliefs to lasting change as keys to lasting change in his book ‘Unlimited Power’.

A. IT MUST CHANGE NOW

B. I MUST CHANGE NOW

C. I CAN CHANGE NOW



Ladder of Inference:

Taken as a whole, how we process information and assign it meaning, represents an internal

framework or structure that is often triggered by a situation.

By exploring this framework, we can learn how someone processes information. By

understanding this, we can understand their world and thus build rapport.

Go online to your Membership Area and download the electronic version of this.

NAME: “LADDER OF INFERENCE”

I take action based on my beliefs

I adopt beliefs about the world

I draw conclusions

I make assumptions based on the meanings I give

I add meanings (personal & cultural)

I select data from what I observe

I observe data & experience



Model for Beliefs

□ Beliefs about who we are, what we are capable of, how people will behave and how the world works, determine a large extent how we will live our lives.

□ Our actions are the tip of the iceberg… what is happening underneath the water, out of sight, are the beliefs that determine these actions.

□ The question to ask your client is… ‘Does that belief assist you in creating the desired outcome?’ If the answer is ‘no’, ask, ‘What belief would?’

□ Every belief we have is ‘made up’. We make it up based on prior experiences, what we are told, what we see and what we feel. No two people will assign exactly the

same belief to a situation.

□ If it is all made up, why not create a set of beliefs that will support us as we go about creating our ideal lives?

The model we use is:

□ ‘Does this belief serve you?’

□ ‘Does your belief support you in the attainment of your goals?’

□ ‘Does this belief nurture you mentally, emotionally and spiritually?’

□ ‘Does this belief challenge you to achieve the next level of your success?’

□ ‘Is your belief going to sustain you as you go about building your ideal life or business?’

Coach Tip

Include the exploration of beliefs with your client as often as possible. If you are coaching in

a business environment, use the word ‘thoughts’ instead of beliefs.



The questions to ask to discover the client’s beliefs:

□ ‘What do you believe will happen’?

□ ‘What has happened before?’

□ ‘How do you decide what action to take?’

□ ‘What do you think other people do?’

□ ‘What did you focus on to come to that conclusion?’

Questions to shift client beliefs:

□ ‘Will that belief assist you in creating your desired outcome?’

□ ‘Is it a belief you need to keep?’

□ ‘If you didn’t keep it, what could you replace it with?’

□ ‘What belief do you think someone else might have in this area?’

□ ‘What would you think you could tell a valued friend to believe about this?’

□ ‘What belief would serve, support, nurture and challenge you?’

□ ‘What belief will sustain you throughout this journey?’

□ ‘If you were to create a new belief around this area that was fun and made you laugh, what could it be?’

Go online to your Membership Area and download the electronic version of this.

NAME: “QUESTIONS TO CHALLENGE BELIEFS”



TIME TO CHECK BACK IN ON YOUR OWN BELIEFS.

Have you created the new beliefs from the exercises in the earlier section?

Write your answers to these beliefs without referring to the notes you made

previously.

1. I always…

2. I never…

3. I can’t…

4. I can…

5. I am…

6. They are…

7. We are…

8. I must…

9. Life is…

10. My life is…

11. My business is…

12. Relationships are…

Create six beliefs for yourself which will serve, support, nurture,

challenge and sustain you as you learn to be an outstanding coach.

POSSIBLE BELIEFS FOR BECOMING AN OUTSTANDING COACH:

□ There is always something to be learnt from every situation.

□ Being willing to have a go is all it takes.

□ My willingness to learn and grow will free my clients to do the same.

□ When my back is to the wall, the best in me comes out.

□ There is always a way to turn it around.

□ I am willing to be wrong.

□ I am willing to make mistakes.



The ‘Be’ When Coaching

The GROW model explores what we can DO to move ourselves forward. It does not allow room to explore who we need to BE to create change. Who do we need to be to create

the transformation we desire?

This question focuses on what we can control and influence, and allows us to explore our beliefs about a situation.

For example, if a client says they want to ‘try cooking’, or you hear uncertainty, ask:

□ ‘What are your beliefs about cooking?’

Often what we hear a client say ‘try’ – there is as fear. To move a client past this fear, you

could ask:

□ ‘What would happen if you did it, rather than tried to do it?’

□ ‘Would it be a different place if you did it, rather than tried?

OTHER GREAT QUESTIONS TO ASK ARE:

□ ‘Who do you need to be in this moment?’

□ ‘What do you need to believe to get this done?’

□ ‘What beliefs would serve, support, nurture and challenge you right now?’

□ ‘‘How is this belief going to sustain you?’

□ ‘If you were to discuss this with your daughter/son/friend, what would you want

them to believe?’

Belief questions are used to get the client to think in new ways. A great way to ‘cement’ or ‘anchor’ a belief is to notice the moment the client shifts their thinking and create a new

belief and then acknowledge them immediately for the step.

‘That sounds amazing, Sam. You sound as if you like this new place. Well done.’

‘What belief would serve, support, challenge and nurture you, right now?’



ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO CHECK YOUR UNDERSTANDING:

1. An empowering belief is a belief which:

2. A disempowering belief is a belief which:

3. An example of an empowering belief about connecting with people is:

4. An example of a disempowering belief about forming a relationships is:

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CREDENTIALED PRACTITIONER OF COACHING Module 2 9 /M2... · coach with 20 clients who all appreciate my service and pay $200 per hour, on time and happily and I love what I do. •Keep