Death-Sensitization for the Estate Planner Chapter 3 Tools & Techniques of Estate Planning Copyright 2011, The National Underwriter Company1 Why Should

Death-Sensitization for the Estate Planner

Chapter 3Tools & Techniques of

Estate Planning

Copyright 2011, The National Underwriter Company 1

Why Should the Estate Planner Think About Death and Dying?

• Reduction of client’s anxiety• Free client’s energy to deal with life-related

matters• Psychological factors• Estate Planner’s responsibility• Resolution of Planner’s own anxieties• Rewards of openness



Estate Planning


Psychological Factors

• Moral imperative to provide for survivors• Guilt

• Security devices such as wills, trusts and life insurance provide client with means of stabilizing the future of his family

• Concept of “Postself” – the client’s legacy physically and emotionally



Estate Planning


Estate Planner’s Responsibility

• To assist clients in recognizing and dealing with their feelings about death and dying

• To utilize the estate planning process to help the client come to a healthy resolution of those feelings



Estate Planning


Resolution of Professional’s Own Anxieties

• Not until the professional knows and can deal with his own fears and thoughts concerning death, can he properly construct policies and priorities based on the needs and desires of his client



Estate Planning


Rewards of Openness to Client

Healthy Individuals are:

• Better equipped to deal with interpersonal and financial implications of death

• Better able to discuss such matters with family members

• Better able to make rational and appropriate arrangements for children and others



Estate Planning


Rewards of Openness to Planner

• Personal growth and maturity nurtured regarding death and dying

• Closer relationship with the client

• Closer relationship with the client’s family



Estate Planning


Why the Word “Death” is Unspoken

• Talk of death is a reminder of mortality

• Death can be unknown and frightening

• There are social taboos against recognizing death



Estate Planning


The Estate Planning Interview

• Coming to grips with life and death

• The process of human counseling

• Objectives of the estate planning interview

• The role of property in the testamentary process

An Opportunity to Touch, to Feel, to Help



Estate Planning


Coming to Grips with Life and Death

• Client must recognize and internalize death and face– Effects of orphaning his/her children

– Potential for family strife

– Problems inherent in projects left unfinished

– Psychological and financial burden of outstanding liabilities



Estate Planning


The Process of Human Counseling

• Don’t just gather data, identify issues, and dictate the rules

• Involve the client in the process, client “buy-in” is critical to the overall planning process

• Listen to the client and reflect back what you have heard

• Study what the client and his family say and don’t say

• Be sensitive to the client’s world, accept his feelings and try to understand them

• Communicate honestly and openly



Estate Planning


Objectives of the Estate Planning Interview

• Help the client come to his own realizations and conclusions

• Understand client’s feelings and attitudes as well as information– relating to his family and career

– about property, security and health

• Understand client’s system of needs

• Understand client’s modes of expressing himself

• Understand client’s ideas about life



Estate Planning


Role of Property in Testamentary Process

• Property is expression and extension of a client

• Property is a part of the way the client defines self

• A gift of property = giving a part of self

• Client’s attitude toward giving represents the relationship between the people he loves and the things he owns

• Property is used in the exercise of power, love, guilt, remorse, hope and resignation



Estate Planning


What is Death and What Does It Mean?

• Death - Multifaceted meanings and effects

• Dying – How it colors perceptions of death

• Interaction between the Estate Planner and the Dying Client



Estate Planning


Multifaceted Meanings and Effects

• Meaning of word death varies from person to person– financial distress: doctor and hospital bills, extreme treatment

costs

– images of lost dignity and independence

• Death can invoke feelings of guilt, anxiety and fear

• Some see dying as a natural part of life, part of an overall process



Estate Planning


How Dying Colors Perceptions of Death• Client on deathbed may experience

– Reliving the past– Preoccupation with illness– An attitude of just keep on living

• Client may also experience overwhelming feelings of– Loneliness, isolation, sadness, anger, and guilt

• Death may represent– Failure– Loss of pleasure– Physical decay– Loss of time



Estate Planning


Interaction Between Estate Planner and Dying Client

How much can be accomplished depends on:

• Client’s state of mind

• Emotional involvement of near relatives

• Relationship between the Planner and the Client– Planner’s role is to objectively help client and his family arrange

a list of priorities and implementation procedures



Estate Planning


The Dying Clients Expressions of Grief

• Denial

• Anger

• Bargaining

• Depression

• Acceptance



Estate Planning


Additional Stages of Grief

• Shock

• Disorganization

• Expressions of volatile emotions

• Guilt

• Feelings of loss and loneliness

• Periods of relief and reestablishment



Estate Planning


What The Estate Planner Can Do For The Dying Client

• Importance of providing client with control

• Helping client feel useful

• Encouraging completion of unfinished business

• Development of a support system of advisors



Estate Planning


Effect of Death on the Survivors

• Loss of security

• Loss of dependence on the decedent

• New schedule

• New roles, responsibilities, and tasks

• Training to take over a business or financial affairs

• Need for a support system, especially if still raising minor children

• Financial problems



Estate Planning


Problems When Survivors Do Not Allow Themselves to Grieve

Symptoms of Abnormal Reactions:• Exhausting overactivity• Psychosomatic illnesses• Unreasonable hostility toward specific persons• Agitated and acute depression• Extreme and prolonged difficulty sleeping• Preoccupation with image of deceased• Withdrawal of interest in outside world• Difficulty in continuing normal social interaction



Estate Planning


Will and Probate – What They Mean to Survivors

• Probate serves an important function in mourning and “letting go”

• The will is the last communication of the deceased and states his feelings by– Who receives property– How the property is to be received and– When it will be received

• What the testator meant to say may not be how it is taken by the beneficiaries



Estate Planning


Choice of Executor – What It Means

• Selection based on testator’s trust and confidence in the person

• May have had a deep emotional relationship

• By performing duties, the executor comes to terms with the testator’s death

• Adverse consequences if widow(er) not named executor, lack of control may increase sense of helplessness, fear, and distrust



Estate Planning


What Can - And Should - The Executor Do?

• Increase the family members’ dignity by empowering them with as much control as possible

• Give them active participation in the decision-making process

• Explain the steps in the process and how they can take control

Documents

Death-Sensitization for the Estate Planner Chapter 3 Tools & Techniques of Estate Planning Copyright 2011, The National Underwriter Company1 Why Should