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GIFT IDEASUNDER $50

AffinityMagazine

Finding YourConfi-dence

December 2014/January 2015

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

December 2014

Every year when the Victoria Secret Fashion Show premieres, our self-esteem mysterious disappears! Whether it is beacause of Cara per-fectly tone body, or our insecurities, doesn’t matter, we all feel pressure to not eat that tub of Ice Cream after watching the show.

A note from the editor

4 “Bad Feminism” Is Crazy, Not Taylor Swift.

by Shane Rabinowitz

8 Christmas Gift Ideas Under $50

Deck the halls with some gift ideas on a budget!

6 She Never Gave Up

by Nabreyia Scott

10Find Your Confidence

by Hannah Preston

This year has been so

amazing! The views

for Affinity tripled, it

is amazing because I

just started the maga-

zine last summer. I am

excited to be releas-

ing the last magazine

for 2014. We have alot

of great stories to tell

in this issue, and alot

of great gift ideads on

the budget! I am also

a Teen Media Journal-

ist at my local ABC 2,

which means I write

and report stories!

You can catch Teen

Perspective every

last Satuarday of the

month, a 12 noon on

ABC 2. It’s an exciting

job, I’m learning alot.

I am very appreciative

to be chosen! I ap-

plied to colleges also,

so that’s why I haven’t

been updating Affin-

ity as much. Imagine,

this time next year

I will be a freshman

in college! I love the

idea, because I am

so done with high

school! Thank you for

reading hopefully you

enjoy the magazine,

and happy holidays!

Xoxo, Evelyn Van Der

Woodsen

he University of Maryland’s independent school newspaper, The Diamondback, recently published an opinion piece written by the digital content editor, Teddy Amenabar, in which he discusses Taylor Swift’s unfair portrayal of people suffering from mental illness. Amenabar also proposes that Taylor Swift intentionally frames herself as an antiquated “passé feminist”.

The journalist’s comments reveal the trend of how men continue to shame feminism when they could instead use their fortunes to help break gender inequality.

It is commendable for the author to express his concerns regarding the stigmas sur-rounding those who are mentally ill. But as he speaks on behalf of an entire communi-

ty, he disregards the hazards that come along with ignoring a multitude of stories. Amenabar’s mental health proposition was completely overshadowed by the lack

of any insight other than his own. The only point that I saw properly represented within the article was the sense of entitlement that he as a man has in dictating what entails a “BAD FEMINIST”. Thinking critically about these issues is far more productive than assigning correctness. A r A recent study conducted by The University of Delaware Center for Political Communication found that consumers who watch satirical news

TMale privilege is still a large part of the prob-lem. So, why shouldn’t a stronger focus on men be a part of the solution?

The idea behind the Blank Space music video was satirical. The butts of the joke were those who scrutinized Taylor Swift for her feminist stance.

Pop culture magnifies the social injustices prevalent in so-ciety, but criticizing the culture isn’t allowing the author to reflect on his own feminist stance. Instead of drawing circles around the overstated argument of “bad feminism”, the jour-nalist could have discussed how pop culture has influenced his own feminist identity. Amenabar seems to think that men can’t be “BAD FEMINISTS”. Assuming that we should all be feminists, the term “BAD FEMINIST” was coined as a way of specifically oppressing female feminists. The controversial rap-artist Eminem wasn’t labeled as “BAD FEMINIST” for his

depiction of a rape fantasy against Iggy Azalea within his recently leaked track, Vegas. Robin Thicke wasn’t

labeled as “BAD FEMINIST” even though he trivialized the lines of sexual assault and

rape, as he knew that “she wanted it”. And the music video for

Blurred Lines normaliz-es and perpetuates

the presence of nearly na-

k e d

women in musical productions where the men are fully clothed. Amenabar is perpetuating the same incessant mes-sages from the media, society and the men in their lives that tell women they are inferior.

I’ve accepted that I will never fully understand something I cannot live out in my own experience firsthand. That doesn’t make a woman’s experience any less valid.

Empathy is the path to understanding. Take time to listen to the stories of others who have had experiences different from your own. Accept that it is a legitimate narrative in the spectrum of human experiences. Empathy helps make it a little bit easier when trying to understand the intangible feelings of others.

Amenabar is perpetuating the same incessant messages from the media, society and the men in their lives that tell women they are inferior. Elentiantur? I’ve accepted that I will never fully understand something I cannot live out in my own experience firsthand. That doesn’t make a woman’s ex-perience any less valid.

Empathy is the path to understanding. Take time to listen to the stories of others who have had experiences different from your own. Accept that it is a legitimate narrative in the spectrum of human experiences. Empathy helps make it a lit-tle bit easier when trying to understand the intangible feel-ings of others. I’ve empathized with enough female feminists to understand, and even support, the ideas that Amenabar

might view as negative representations of women.

Am I a “BAD FEMINIST” for believing that women have the right to dress however they feel de-

fines their humanity without fearing sex-ual assaulted?

Am I a “BAD FEMINIST” for believing that the no-

tion of “boys will be boys” is

perpetu-a t -

a

lack of male social responsibility?

Am I a “BAD FEMINIST” for believing that the Greek Life system tends to foster archaic gen-der roles?

Am I a “BAD FEMINIST” for not devoting my life to feminism?

Am I a “BAD FEMINIST” if my stance might appear as belit-tling of men?

Am I a “BAD FEMINIST” for noting that some men continue to objectify women with little to no consequence?

The reality is that my male feminist stance won’t ever be deemed illegitimate.

The essence behind my male feminist stance is that my mother, sister, aunts, cousins, best friends, and all women around the world deserve to experience the same privileges that I’ve inher-ited as a man.

The core belief behind female feminism is not any different.

If I am not shamed for expressing my own male feminist stance, then why should any woman be stigmatized for doing just the same?

The fact that men have been excluded from the polarizing label

of

“ B A D F E M I N I S T ” is yet another in-stance of foreseen op-pressive male privilege.

Male privilege is still a large part of the problem. So, why shouldn’t a stronger focus on men be a part of the solution?

A recent study conducted by The University of Delaware Center for Political Communication found that consumers who watch satirical news shows such as Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver, The Colbert Report, and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart are more informed about net neutrality than those who preferred traditional news outlets. All jokes aside—the ideas were being delivered in the most productive manner among the various outlets.

By Shane Rabinowitz

“BAD FEMINISM” IS CRAZY, NOT TAYLOR SWIFT

She Never Gave Up She’s tall, African American, she has dark hair and brown skin. This is all the information I’ve had a majority of my life to go off of about my mom. In middle school I learned her name. I have never met my mother or father. Since I was three days old I have been in the care of what I thought was my adoptive parent, Ms. Paulette Randall. I was abandoned on the steps of a Paulette Randall and in her care up until the age of 16. Paulette raised me as her own daughter. I was left without a birth certificate or Social Security card. I was only able to start school because of the faulty public school system not checking for proper documents and paperwork. I went on to go to KIPP Baltimore Charter school and my hard work there allowed me to be eligible and win a full scholarship to Saint Paul’s School for Girls (SPSG) through the Samuel Ready Scholar-ship program. While living with Ms. Randall, things started to get pretty bad for us. We first couldn’t afford our electricity bill, so for a long time we went without power. I would rush home after school so I could finish my homework before the sun went down. We also didn’t have hot water or heat most times. I never said anything at school because I was taught to have pride in what I did have not worry about what I did not. I just made it work without

Magazine | StockInDesign

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telling anyone. Before my junior year I was picked to go on an all expense leadership and learning experience to Israel with the Elijah Cummings Youth program of Israel. I kept asking Ms. Randall to take me and then she finally

told me I wasn’t actually adopted or documented with the state as being in foster care. No one wants to hear they are adopted, but you especially do not want to hear you are not adopted. I never knew and the information was a lot to internalize and I got really worried about

how I would get everything ready for my trip! I still didn’t have any identification to get a passport so I talked to a faculty member at SPSG and she said she would help me get my birth certificate and any other documents I needed. I was able to get all of the information I needed in time and go to Israel! An experience I am still thankful for everyday!

After I came back from Israel I learned that Ms. Randall had been hospitalized and had fallen very ill. She had a history of seizures and high blood pressure so her health wasn’t perfect. The faculty member who helped me was Titia Dunn. We grew close very quickly and talked all the time. I would

go stay with her on some weekends and she became a second family to me. Ms. Randall got so sick and things got so bad that we lost our house again! I didn’t know where I was going to stay for senior year of high school and then after, so I talked to Mrs. Dunn and she offered her home

to me. I moved in with her and finished my senior year. I was able to win many awards at SPSG and because of all my contributions and academics I was offered a full scholarship to The University of Maryland College Park (UMD). UMD has generously helped me with paying for all of my expenses. At the University of Maryland I am apart of the Terps for Change community service organization

and the University Student Judiciary. I have served as senator of my dorm hall, worked on the Resident Life Advisory Team, and become a volunteer for So Others Might Eat (SOME) homeless soup kitchen. I have done three productions at UMD as well, Twilight, Los Angeles: 1992, The Me Nobody knows and an original student written production called Tone of Silence. I just finished

my third semester and can’t wait to jump in next semester to get involved. I am a first generation college student, Mrs. Dunn and UMD have helped make the transition to college for me very easy. Mrs. Dunn did helped me get into foster care so I could get health insurance. I had never been to the dentist and was behind on a lot of shots, but Mrs. Dunn helped me to take care of everything. Ms. Randall and I still keep in touch but she is in a nursing home getting the medical attention she needs. My life mad a complete 160 and everyday I feel blessed and thankful to be where I am. I am a double major of Theater and Hearing and Speech at UMD and I can’t wait to graduate and

go to graduate school and accomplish all the goals I have set for myself. I do still think about that I have never met my biological parents and even all the adversity I’ve had to deal with, but I know everything has made me the person I am today and I’m extremely proud of myself and what my

future holds.

Gift Ideas Under $50

Tarte Lipgloass Set, Sephora

Converse, Nordstroms

Braid Bracelet, J.crew

Pillow Set, Victoria’s Secret

Coffee Cup, Victoria’s SecretAlex And Ani Bracelet, Nordstroms

Backpack, Victoria’s Secret

Agenda Book, Victoria’s Secret

Naked 2 Basic,s Sephora

Find Your Confidence!

onfidence is like a little black dress. It looks good on everyone, and it was something that I struggled with for a long time. But my recent experiences have helped me gain back my confidence. If I had the chance to change my middle school experience, I would in a heart beat. There were a lot of kids that were very mean to me. Some of them were my best friends and others I barely knew. I was a smiley kid with little issues from my peers. Out of nowhere, my friends became mean to me. For the

longest time, I tried everything I could to get them to accept me. I thought I was causing the problem. But I would keep getting bullied more and more. It came to the point where I wouldn’t want to come to school. I was in such a dark place. I just didn’t understand why this was happening to me. It seemed like something out of a movie. I still don’t understand how someone could be so mean but yet say they were your friend. The bullying happened for a while before my parents made me to go talk to a therapist. At first I hated it. I would be so mad when my parents would make me go. But time after time it got better and better. With her help, I realized that I had to put a stop to the bullies. I think everyone should be able to talk to a therapist. I knew I was either going to stay miserable or to actually advo-cate for myself. I knew I would never be able to fix those people. But I knew that I could change what I was doing. It was time to move on from all the drama. I had to focus on myself and to do what was best for me. I realized who my real friends were from my fake ones. I surrounded myself with people and activities that inspired me. I focused on things that I loved and made me happy. I chose people who wanted the best for me, and I wanted the best for them. I started to gain my confidence from the little things.

C

By: Hannah Preston

© Halfpoint - Fotolia.com #72333106

“Confidence Is Like A Little Black Dress”

started spend-ing my time by drawing more and more. Art is something that can take you to a whole other

world but still have it be so person-al. I get lost in my art. I get to relax and just calm down while still doing something I love. One of the other things I love is Lacrosse. Stepping on a lacrosse field is one of the best feelings in the world. I get butterflies just thinking about it. I am grateful for the opportunity to play with my teammates, and for being coached

by the most inspiring group of wom-en. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Sometimes it gets tough, but we get through it together. We all play to our best ability, and we know that we have 20 girls that encourage each other. What can I say, my team is my second family.

Then in July, I was in a wedding for one of my cousins, and the entire thing was so gorgeous. I was sur-rounded by people I loved and it was such an amazing time. That is what life is about having a good time with great people, smiling and giggling

I

Art is something that can take you to a whole other world but still have it be so personal. I get

lost in my art. I get to relax and just calm down while still doing something I love. One of the oth-

er things I love is Lacrosse. Stepping on a lacrosse field is one of the best feelings in the world. I get

butterflies just thinking about it.”

the whole way. I felt beautiful that day. It was not because of what I looked like, but because of how happy I felt.

Also, this summer I went to Camp Wright, which is an Episcopal camp located on the Eastern Shore. For me, Camp Wright is not just a camp. It is my home. I have memories and friendships that I will cherish forever. I’ve met the most amazing group of kids and adults over the past two summers. We all count down the weeks until we get to be back at that amazing place. There are so many wonderful kids from all different backgrounds. And for that week, we all are from the same family. Everyone can let their guard down and just have a great time. I’ve never been anywhere else that is as excepting as Camp Wright. I had the opportunity to graduate with my friends this past year from being a regular camper. Our next step is to be Counselors in Training.

AS A SENIOR RIGHT NOW, I CAN RELATE TO THE STRUGGLE OF APPLYING TO

COLLEGES. THE BATTLE ISN’T GETTING INTO OUR TOP CHOICES, BUT MORESO

GETTING ACCEPTED IN SOMEWHERE. MODIT,

art of me feels like I will not get into any college, and for a while I was sad about it, but there is a silver lining. College is important, but what is less important is where you go for college. You heard me. It doesn’t matter if you went to Harvard or Towson University. It matters how much you were involved when you went to those schools. Someone can get accepted to Harvard, and never take the NUMEROUS opportunities Harvard has to offer, but someone at Towson can take advantage of all the opportunities and become more successful. You may think not getting into UMD or NYU is the end all be all, but it’s honestly not true. Your college doesn’t determine where you will end up in life. SO many people have succeeded just from going to average schools.

David Letterman couldn’t get into Indiana University because of his grades, so he applied to Ball State University and got in. He excelled at Ball State and eventually started a scholarship program for C average students. Now he has his own widely popular talk show.

Dream U

Pprah didn’t go to Harvard, she went to Tennessee State University, but while at TSU she had a job at a radio station. She was earning $14,000 a yea at the age of 18. Eventually she moved to Baltimore for 8 years, then moved to Chicago,started the Oprah

show, and the rest is history.

Ellen Degerenes went to New Orleans University only for a couple months then dropped out. She start a job as a waitress, and other odd jobs like painting houses. She was preforming stand up while strug-gling to make ends meet, she finally got the attention of Johnny Carson, and eventually got her own show a few years later, which resulted in a talk show.

A more special case is Steve Jobs, he was adopted by parents who both never at-

tended college, they were poor, but wanted for their son to attend college. Steve got accepted to Reed College, but dropped out after a semester. He said he learned more outside of the classroom, then in.

It doesn’t matter where you honestly start, it just matters where you end. It’s an amazing experience to get into a top uni-versity, but if you don’t get into one it isn’t the end of the world. Stop searching for brand name colleges, and start looking for colleges that you feel you belong at. Plan for the future, and continue to reach for success no matter where you end up. You have forever to go to the college of your dreams, you can transfer from the college you currently attend, it will be easier to get into top colleges because the competition is smaller.

O

College is not about brand names. It’s about finding somewhere that you feel llike you belong at. So many people have gotten into the school of their dreams, and quickly realized the work was overwhelming, or the people weren’t friendly.Spend more time researching colleges, and talking to students who attend the college you are interested in. I advise also checking out sites like Studentsreview.com, and collegedata.com. they will make your college search easier.

College Is College

THE VICTORIA ‘S SECRET FASHION SHOW IS AN ANNUAL FASHION

SHOW THAT SHOWCASES VICTORIA’S SECRET’S NEW COLLECTION

OF LINGERIE. ITS ALSO THE NIGHT OUR SELF-ESTEEM DISAPPEARS

90% of woman are unhappy with their bodies because of society’s obsession with having perfect bodies like celebrities, and super models. Every year for one or two hours, we are reminded just how insanely we don’t compare when we watch the VS fashion show. We see Candice, Cara, and Karlie strut down the runway in their perfectly toned bodies. It makes us rethink our whole life,you wonder,“was the Chipotle I ate today really necessary?” We decide that after tonight and after a tub of ice cream we start a new diet tomorrow. Our self-esteem flies out the window quicker than Mary Poppins. It’s okay, because I feel a ping of jealously too when I watch the VS show, but what we fail to realize is well a model’s job is to exercise 24/7 and painfully refrain from Chipotle trips.

Scrolling down my twitter feed everyone is ranting and complaining about how skinny the models are, but what can you expect after all they’re runway models. The mis conception is they’re all unhealthy and start, but that isn’t the case. Models are healthier than most of us, because their bodies are made out of mostly muscle.

No, Your Self-Esteem Didn’t Just Leave The Planet.

on’t feel down because the models you see are skinnier. As teenagers we have school, exams and sports. Our job is to be students, not mod-els. I will say though, the show is inspirational because it motivates you to exercise, and also makes you

rethink your eating habits. That’s the way we should watch the show, and take that message with us, although we can’t be skin-ny models, we can be healthier and more confident. We don’t have to feel inferior because we aren’t toned or tan. Let’s face it; we aren’t taking trips to Jamaica so the tan-ning possibly is out of the question. I know winter is just a tanning bummer. Last year’s show was helpful because they showed

how the models prepared for the big show; they exercised from morning to night, ate a lot of vegetables, and drank a lot of water. The Victoria’s Secret fashion show doesn’t promote unhealthy eating, or starving your-self. It promotes being healthy and fit.

Next year when you watch the show, I want you to have a new attitude instead of saying, “well my self esteem left the planet”, look at it as a inspiration to be a healthier you. Don’t feel ashamed the next time you grab a donut, instead grab a dozen of it because unlike models, you don’t have a lot of pressure to be skinny. Look on the bright side; models rarely can eat carbs, so eat carbs in their honor. Love yourself.

D

‘It is really intense, it’s not really the amount of time you spend working out, it’s the intensity: I jump rope, I do boxing, I lift weights, but I get bored doing that. The Victoria’s Secret Show is the highlight of my life.’ Adriana Lima

‘I ate a lot of

organic salmon and

vegetables. I couldn’t

Victoria’s Secret Model Quotes That Will Make You ThankfulLilly Alderidge

Hilary Rhoda

‘I eat a lot of protein

because my metabolism is really fast, and if I work out too much I get

smaller, so it’s a good balance of working out and resting in between. My first splurge meal is going to be something light because

I have to eat a lot of steak and mashed potatoes to keep my weight, so I’m excited to have a nice ceviche or

something.’

‘I ate a lot of organic

salmon and vegetables. I couldn’t have worked harder - maybe I’m not as tiny as I used

to be, but I’m womanly now and I’m proud of that.’

‘Girls have done squats back-stage at the show, it

really happens.’

‘I’ve just been working every day in a

different country, so I haven’t had time to prepare. I had McDonald’s for lunch yesterday and pizza for

dinner, so that’s not going to change.’

‘We can’t escape from the truth. There are

millions of people watching - and even people watching live - so it’s really important to work out a

lot, which I do, and I definitely change my diet.’

‘I have been working out quite a

bit doing pilates, yoga and strength training with weights and resistant bands and I eat

super healthy.’

‘I’ve been working out for the last

four months and trying to do some exfoliation so my skin looks good. Maybe I’ll have a sundae

ice cream’

”I have a really bad sweet tooth. Berry crisp

or apple crisp with ice cream is my favorite. I like cheesecake. Also chocolate. I like chocolate cakes.

Mousses. Cobblers… All the heavy food—cheeseburgers, burritos, I

eat it all! But ‘I’m just really tiny.”

Behati Prinsloo

Hilary RhodaCandice Swanepoel

Cara Delevingne Doutzen KroesAlessandra Ambrosio

Miranda KerrChanel Iman

“Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show training.. you get out

what you put in”

“It is really intense,

it’s not really the amount of time you spend working out, it’s the intensity: I jump rope, I

do boxing, I lift weights, but I get bored doing that. The Victoria’s

Secret Show is the highlight of my life.”

Adriana Lima

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