w w w. t h e we e k l y b e a n . c a

(306) 825-5694 or e-mail:labean@sasktel.net

December 29, 2014

NEW YEARS QUOTESBrooks Atkinson

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

Bill VaughanYouth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced

to.

P. J. O’RourkeThe proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates

on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.

Jay LenoNow there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight

people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.

James AgateNew Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to

take up more of my time.

Eric ZornMaking resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands person-

al honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and

asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of...termites.

You can lead a horse to water but...how?

Don’t bite the hand that...looks dirty.

No news is... impossible.

A miss is as good as a... Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new... math.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll... stink in the morning.

Love all, trust... me.

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and

asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of...termites.

You can lead a horse to water but...how?

Don’t bite the hand that...looks dirty.

No news is... impossible.

A miss is as good as a... Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new... math.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll... stink in the morning.

Love all, trust... me.

An Evening with Brett Kissel is presented by Lloydminster Community Youth Centre on January 9, 2015, at 7:30 pm, at Vic Juba Community Theatre.

Brett Kissel is a 24-year-old singer/songwriter who has been THE country music story of 2014 – recently winning two awards at the Canadian Country Music Association Awards – for “CMT Video of the Year” and “Interactive Artist of the Year”, after recording eight nominations. Brett also took home a Canadian Radio Music Award – for Breakthrough Artist of the Year in Country Music, on top of two Association of Country Music in Alberta awards, and two Edmonton Music Awards.

Influenced by the likes of Johnny Cash, Glen Campbell, Buck Owens and George Strait, Brett Kissel is still very much his own man: a dynamic, charismatic performer, singer and songwriter and ready to make an imposing impression on the country music scene.

Tickets are $45. For tickets, contact the Box Office at 780-872-7400, Monday to Friday, 9:30 am to 3:30 pm, or order your tickets online at vicjubatheatre.ca.

Happy New Year!! From all of us here at Lloyd Wine Outfitters!!

New Year’s Day Prayer for one and all

Dear Lord

So far this year I’ve done well.

I haven’t gossiped I haven’t lost my temper;

I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty,

selfish, or overindulgent. I’m very thankful

for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m

going to get out of bed, and from then on

I’m probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen

Baby Bean29.12.14

Wednesday

Mar. 19

www.thevillagepregnancytoparenting.com

Programs and support for your pregnancy, birth, postpartum and parenting journey

FoodVille * Crochet Corner * The MotherHoodBirth Cafe * Healing Mama’s group

Nursing Moms group * workshops * events

MARCH 13TH - 14TH

2015

LLOYDMINSTER & AREA’S PRENATAL AND FAMILY TRADESHOW.

www.thebelliesandbabies.comWanted: Vendors, Sponsors, Local talent, AdvertisersContact for more information 780.522.1685 thebelliesandbabies@outlook.com

www.birthritelloydminster.org

Doula Services & Prenatal workshops

When you change the way you view birththe way you birth will change-Marie Mongan

Register for a class orBook your FREE Doula meeting today!

December at The Village Pregnancy to Parenting

4702 56th Ave LloydminsterRegular programs

The MotherHood, Birth Cafe,Nursing Moms group, FoodVille, Crochet Corner, Healing Mama’s

Have a safe and happyChristmas season

from everyone at The Village!

We will be taking a break fromDecember 21st - January 5th

See you in the New Year

H A I R | B E A U T Y | S A L O Nw w w. c h a t t e r s . c a

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The Month After Christmas

‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste At the holiday parties, had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can “You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished “Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie--not even a lick. I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore---

But isn’t that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Staff Get TogethersBirthday Parties

Stags & StagettesSchool Activites

Book Your Party Now!!

5744 - 44 St Lloydminster780-875-0110 or 780-872-9677

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NEW YEARS EVE ONE LINERS

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with

either rum, vodka, or whiskey. New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being

mistaken for a stripper. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my

New Year’s resolutions. I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs.

May I have all I need and want all I have. If 2014 was a person, I’d sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages.

This New Year’s I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess.

People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life suckedlast year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.

I’ll remember 2014 like it was yesterday Dear Luck, .....can we be friends in 2015 Please?

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions. Many things can be preserved in alcohol this New Years Eve. DIGNITY is

not one of them. I’m planning on finding new and interesting things to hate about my job in 2015.

Just heard that in 2015 there will be a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it’s called alcohol.

TOP TEN MOST USED NEW YEAR’S

RESOLUTIONS:

10. Spend more time with loved ones

9. Work out more

8. Lose weight

7. Quit smoking

6. Learn to drink

in moderation

5. Get out of debt

4. Learn something new

3. Help others

2. Get organized

1. Enjoy life more

5405 44 StreetWayside Plaza

THE TWELVE DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS.

The first day after Christmas my true love and I had a fight. And so I chopped the pear tree down and burnt it, just for spite. Then with a

single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge. My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas I pulled on the old rubber gloves and very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves.

My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me. On the third day after Christmas my mother caught the croup. I had to use the

three French hens to make some chicken soup The four calling birds were a big mistake for their

language was obscene. The five golden rings were completely fake and they

turned my fingers green. The sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn’t lay.

I sent the whole gaggle to the S.P.C.A. On the seventh day, what a mess I found. All seven of the swimming swans had

drowned. My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me. The eighth day after Christmas before they could suspect.

I bundled up the eight maids-a-milking, nine ladies dancing, ten lords-a-leaping, eleven pipers piping, twelve drummers

drumming - well, actually I kept one of the drummers – and sent them back collect.

I wrote my true love “We are through, love!” And I said in so many words “Furthermore, your Christmas gifts are for the Birds!”

1.The Scottish tune Auld Lang Syne is a common song sang right after the stroke of midnight. What is the literal translation of the song’s title: Auld Lang Syne?a. 3Old Long Agob. Always Remembering Youc. Another Year Passesd. Here We Go Again2. What is the most common New Year’s resolutions made by Americans?a. Resolve to Find a Better Jobb. Resolve to Stop Smokingc. Resolve to Save More Moneyd. Resolve to Lose Weight3. Who is mainly responsible for us cele-brating New Year’s day on January 1st?a. Pope Gregory b. Pope Benedictc. Julius Caesar d. Alexander the Great4. Western society’s official calendar was generated from?a.The Julian Calendarb.The Gregorian Calendarc.The Chinese Calendar

d. The Solar Calendar5. Regardless of when a society cel-ebrates New Year’s Day, what is one common thread between the all?a. Good Luck Ritualsb. Everyone Eats a Hearty Mealc. Outrageous Partiesd. Everyone Attends a Spiritual Function6. The month January was named after?a. A Hindu Princess b. The Roman god Janusc. The Greek god Januariusd. A former Roman goddess7. Which society calendar uses animals to mark years?a. The Jewish Calendarb. The Chinese Calendar c. The Gregorian Calendard. The Hindu Calendar8. What was the main event at the Rose Bowl Stadium Tournament of Roses Pa-rade, during between 1903 to 1915? a. Football b. Soccerc. Chariot Races d. Sprint Running

1. a, 2. d, 3. c, 4. b, 5.a, 6.b, 7.b, 8. c

Get expert advice today.

1.866.825.3301

Another hard day

at the jobsite.

w The Babylonian new year celebration lasted for eleven days. Each day had its own particular mode of celebration.w The tradition of using a baby to signify the New Year was begun in Greece around 600 BC.w Many cultures believe that anything in the shape of a ring is good luck, because it symbolizes “coming full circle,” completing a year’s cycle.w ”Auld Lang Syne” literally means “old long ago,” or simply, “the good old days.”w 1904: The first-ever celebration of New Year’s Eve in Times Square.w Waterford Crystal in Ireland, created an exclusive “Let There Be Light” design for the crystal triangles on the new version of the New Year’s Eve Ball.w The first of January was dedicated by the Romans to their God of Gates and Doors, Janus. A very old Italian God, Janus has a distinctive artistic appearance in that he is commonly depicted with two faces ... one regarding what is behind and the other looking toward what lies ahead.w People in China believe that as they enter a new year, they should drop the last year into the silence limbo of the past.

Michelle HamiltonREGISTERED PSYCHOLOGIST

Professional Counselling Services, EMDR

780.808.1593www.beyond-balance.com

michelle@beyond-balance.com

 

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Friday, January 9th, 2015doors at 7:30 pm | concert at 8:00 pm

Vic Juba Community TheatreTickets $45 eachAvailable at Vic Juba Theatre box office

online atwww.vicjubatheatre.ca

with Full band

OVER 90% SOLD