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Managing Success & Failures
• Describe the Relation between Fears and Failures• Describe the Relation between Desires and Success• Explain How to Overcome Fear of Success• Explain the Steps to Succeed and Overcome Failure• Explain the Steps to Identify Root Cause of Emotions• Explain how to Overcome Fear of Failure• Describe Role of Internal Beliefs in Success/Failures• Describe the Role of Self in Managing Success/Failures• List the Factors Affecting Attitude towards Success/Failure• Explain How to Enhance Your Self Esteem• List Assertions for Life and Workplace Success and Failures• Describe the Various Stress Management Techniques• Explain the Strategies to Manage Success/Failures• List the Traits for Efficient Managing of Success/Failures• List the Tips to Manage Your Success and Failure
Course Objectives
Introduction• Look at the two men shown
on the screen.• This is Ralph Lauren and
that is Victor Green. They both are best friends.
• Let us see how Ralph and Victor’s life are in contrast to each other.
Introduction
Ralph Lauren is the founder of a very famous and successful
company; Aegis Inc.
Aegis was one of the pioneers in providing online space to users for free data storage.
Ralph is an engineering graduate.
He has always been an outstanding student with
brilliant grades throughout his academic life.
Introduction
Even before he had graduated, Ralph had joined the giant
software company IBM through campus placements.
At the age of just 32 years, Ralph had started his company
which not only made him extremely rich but also very
famous.
He is considered the most eligible bachelor and media
follow and report all his activities very diligently – both
personal and professional.
Introduction
Victor works as a software tester in a small software company.
Victor has always found it hard to perform well at his job and
receives constant reprimands from his superiors for his poor
performance.
Victor is an engineering graduate.
Victor and Ralph were classmates in their engineering course.
However, Victor has always been an average student and never
received any commendable grades throughout his academic life.
Introduction
Victor’s job is underpaid as he works in a small company that
cannot pay him the same salary levels that MNCs like IBM or
Microsoft would pay its software testers.
Owing to the kind of life that Victor has seen, he is unconfident
and stressed.
He knows that he has not been able to achieve the kind of success
that Ralph and many of his classmates have in their life.
He feels he is a failure.
Introduction• You can clearly see that
Ralph is a great success and Victor is a great failure.
• Let us now try to understand how each one deals with his success and failure.
Introduction
Ralph has seen huge success at a very young age.
Owing to his great success, Ralph has become a proud and
snobbish person.
He ill treats everyone around him including his friend Victor.
He feels that being successful has become second nature to
him and so has grown extremely over-confident and
careless.
Introduction
Ralph ignores his work and does not concentrate on his
work anymore.
He keeps himself busy by leading an extravagant and
irresponsible life.
It is not too late before Ralph’s company goes downhill.
His company’s performance in the market and in turn his
wealth and reputation diminish.
Introduction
On the other hand, Victor has never seen any great success in his
life.
He has always been considered a failure by others including him.
Owing to his failures at becoming a successful person in his life, Victor has become an unconfident and
shy person.
He is not able to perform well at his job and has been subjected to rebuke by his superiors, friends
and family.
Introduction
He is constantly compared to his successful friends and is stressed
and bogged down by the feeling of being a failure.
Victor is not able to cope with his failures and gives up trying to
achieve more too.
He fears being a failure again if he tries anything new.
Introduction
Therefore, you can understand that just being successful is not
enough.
You should know how to manage your success too or else things
could go downhill for you just as in Ralph’s case.
On the other hand, it is also very important that you learn to
manage your failures as the fear of failures would never allow you
to even try to be successful.
Introduction
Therefore, you can understand that just being successful is not
enough.
You should know how to manage your success too or else things
could go downhill for you just as in Ralph’s case.
On the other hand, it is also very important that you learn to
manage your failures as the fear of failures would never allow you
to even try to be successful.
Let us now learn about ‘Managing Success and Failures’ in detail.
Fears and Failures
The following is a list of the different types of fears that a person may develop as he sees failures in his life:
Fear
of
Reje
ction
Fear
of
Losi
ng
Cont
rol
Fear
of
Offe
ndin
g O
ther
s
Fear
of
Unc
erta
inty
Fear
of B
eing
Dis
liked
by O
ther
s
Desires and Success
Desire for Riches
Desire for Power
Desire for Growth
Desire for Happiness
Desire for Pleasure
The following is a list of the different types of desires that a person may have that makes a person strive for success:
Using Reflection to Handle Fear and Desires
You can use ‘reflection’ or ‘careful
thinking process’ to identify your
fears and desires.
These fears and desires are the things that are most crucial to you and you value in your life. These fears and desires are also the ones that most affect the way you deal with and feel about your success and failures.
Managing Fear of SuccessSome people have fear of success such as:
Even if I succeed, I still won’t be happy.
I won’t be able to live up to the expectations.
The minute I achieve success I’ll probably
blow it.
Re-examine your vision of
success
Ask yourself if you have unrealistic expectations of yourself that are undermining your determination? Give yourself
permission to try new things, be creative and make mistakes.
Role of Motivation for Success/Failure
Positive Motivation Negative Motivation
Positive motivation harnesses the power of positive thoughts and feelings to move you closer
to your goal.
Whereas, negative motivation is associated with low self esteem and takes you away from your
goals.
Desire to Succeed Fear of Failure
Goal
Emotions in Managing Success/Failures
• When you understand the root cause of your emotions, you will know what makes you happy, sad, angry, depressed etc. when you are faced with success or failure.
• By becoming more self-aware, you will then be able to control these emotions by keeping a check on the triggers that cause these emotions.
Identify the Root Cause of Each Emotion
Tag Your Emotions
Be Alert to Each Emotion in Real-time
Identify the Triggers to Each Emotion
Identify the Root Cause of Each Emotion
Identify Each Specific Emotion
Identify the Root Cause of Each Emotion
Now, the final step is getting to the ‘root cause’ of the emotion.
In order to get to the root of the emotion, you should drill down deep and look at the complete emotional story.
Many times, the emotion may only be the tip of the iceberg and there may be many other emotions and feelings hidden underneath.
How to Deal with Negative EmotionsThere are a number of coping strategies to deal with negative emotions. These include:
• Learn – Notice how failures make you feel and which events trigger those failures so you can prepare in advance.
• Relax – Use pleasant activities like reading, walking or talking to a friend.
• Exercise – Aerobic activity lowers your level of stress chemicals and allows you to cope better with negative emotions.
Uncertainty of Success leads to FailureYour failure may be triggered by confusion or uncertainty, of achieving success if:
You feel anger because you feel that someone wants you to achieve goals that they have set for you.
You do not have a clear understanding of your next steps.
You feel a sense of hopelessness.
You do not have a clear vision of your desired outcome.
How can You Enhance Your Self Esteem?
Each of us is unique and have specific
talents and abilities
Manage yourself with success
Accept yourself as you are and come to terms with those aspects of
yourself that you cannot change
Always remember that ‘no one is
perfect’
There are a few ways in which you can enhance your self esteem, such as follows:
• Different traits in a person help shape their complete personality. Personality plays a major role in the way a person may deal with his success or failure.
• You should always have a positive, cheerful, strong and confident personality in order to deal with your success or failure.
• Hence, Personality = Qualities + Abilities + Weaknesses
Personality in Dealing with Success/Failures
Impact of Stress on Success and FailureThere is a very close relationship between the managing of success and failure and stress. Any individual who is at the peak of his success will be weighed down by the stress of keeping up the same performance and success levels. On the other hand, a person who has failed will also feel bogged down by the stress of overcoming his failures and succeeding.
However, stress has a direct adverse impact on the performance of an individual.
Expressing Frustration in Healthy Ways
When you fail you may need to express your frustration. The following are a few suggestions on how to express your frustration in healthy ways :
If you feel out of control and feel like you are failing, walk away from the situation temporarily, until you cool down.
Recognise and accept the emotion as normal and part of life.
Try to pinpoint the exact reasons why you feel like you failed.
Once you have identified the problem of your failure, consider coming up with different strategies on how to remedy the situation and succeed in future.
Do something physical, such as going for a run or playing sport.
Tips to Manage Your Success and FailureThe following are a few useful tips to manage your success and failure:
Self-Evaluation: The biggest reason that you are not able to handle your success and failures is because you yourself choose not to. You should remember that everything starts and ends with the self. So, the sooner you accept your fault, the better you’ll be able to manage your successes and failures.
Self-Assertion: Say to yourself, “I WANT TO SUCCEED”. Such assertions are important as once you accept that it is your fault, it becomes your weakness, the next step is to eliminate this weakness. Your desire to succeed and overcome failures should be sincere and must be started by changing small daily gestures.
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