Diary of the Unsuccesful Blogger · Diary of the Unsuccessful Blogger My family and close friends rallied around me doing the best they could to create an environment of love and

Diary of the Unsuccesful

Blogger: From Niche’ to

OH SNAP!

Larrisa White

1

TITLE Copyright © 2015 by Larrisa White.

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations em- bodied in critical articles or reviews.

This book was written to open the minds of those seeking to make changes in their lives. The experiences in the book are based on real live events and situations.

For information contact; Love Fuel LLC.

www.lovefuel.org

Cover design by Matt Holley Designs ; http://www.mattholleydesign.com/

ISBN:

First Edition: April 2015

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

2

3

To al l my beaut i fu l loves— may you a lways be guided towards your n iche’ .

4

CONTENTSTO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL LOVES— MAY YOU ALWAYS BE GUIDED TOWARDS YOUR NICHE’. ......................................................................................4

CONTENTS ......................................................................................5

MY STORY: ......................................................................................8

THE BEGINNING ......................................................................................8

5

!6

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

- George Bernard Shaw

“There are two paths of which one may choose in the walk of life; one we are born with, and the one we consciously blaze. One is naturally true, while the other is perceptive illusion. Choose wisely at each fork in the road.”

- T.F. Hodge

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”

- Walt Disney

7

My Story:

THE BEGINNING Hello loves!

Thank you for supporting this book! If this

was given to you as a gift, well then…thank you

anyway for taking the time out to read it. I hope

the book has found you at a time where change is

welcomed in your life.

You may have noticed the light dimming

within yourself or those around you. Perhaps

you’re seeking purpose in your personal and/or

professional life. There may even be feelings of

hopelessness, as if nothing can ever change. Stop

listening to the voice in your head that says you 8

Diary of the Unsuccessful Blogger

are less valued or unworthy of happiness! Don’t

live with the regret of shattered dreams. There is

hope. We have all become disconnected from one

another at some point in our lives, not realizing we

need the positive (LOVE) energy of others to fuel

us so that we are successful in LIFE.

My eyes were opened wide to how

important being around family, friends, and even

connecting with strangers can feed your soul.

When I was 27, I thought I had it all together. I

had been living in Atlanta, GA for a few years

without a care in the world. My daughter and I

moved out of my parents’ house, which at the time

was in Michigan a few years before. I had a decent

9

Larrisa White

job that paid well, a roof over my head, and a

great relationship. In that very moment, I felt as if

I was in the right place at the right time. What

more could I ask for… I’d get married, combine

households, and go about my day’s happy right?

WRONG... that’s not exactly how life wound up

for me. Within that year, I moved back in with my

parents, who now lived in Columbus, OH,

bringing with me two children instead of the one I

left Atlanta with, no job and no relationship. In my

mind, I was alone. For nearly three years after that

I allowed myself to live in a depressive state,

hiding tears behind false smiles and creating a

story of being unworthy of love.

10


My family and close friends rallied around

me doing the best they could to create an

environment of love and happiness. They drove

miles to visit, helped me get jobs, and tried to

encourage me to get back to my old self again.

However, there was no going back to who I once

was. I began to ask myself what my purpose was

and why I had been chosen to go through such a

painful experience. In my mind, someone had

done this TO me, I took no responsibility for the

present destination of my life.

After months of this inner monologue, I

had a dream that woke me up out of my deep

sleep. (I can sleep through a natural disaster). In

11

Larrisa White

the dream, the words “Love Fuel” appeared. I had

no clue about what that meant at the time. I wrote

it down in a notebook that I kept on my

nightstand, yet never looked at it again. An entire

year had gone by without me revisiting the idea of

“love fuel.”

One day after discussing my life goals with

a friend. I remembered that as a child, I always

imagined a grand life of love, travel, helping

people, and wealth. I never wanted to just have a

“decent” job. In order to get back to that dream, I

needed something to be a part of, at which point I

decided to enroll in graduate school. While filling

out my application, I came across a women’s

12


leadership program on Facebook. I know. Filling

out a college application while surfing the net

doesn't sound productive, but it all worked out. I

remember thinking to myself, “What better steps

to take than to enroll myself into dual programs?”

One program would be for my academic growth

and the other for personal development.

As silly as it may seem, it was through

each of these programs that I began to understand

“love fuel” to the fullest extent of the idea.

Together, my graduate schooling as well as the

leadership program, challenged me to become

more acquainted with my “new” self. The love I

felt so unworthy of, was over flowing from

13

Larrisa White

everywhere.

At home, it was in every single kiss and

hug I received from my daughters, every hard

conversation I had with my parents, and every

visit from those close to me who drove over 50

miles to do absolutely nothing because MY pity

party wouldn’t allow me to get out and enjoy life.

I found love in music as if the artist wrote

the lyrics especially for me. It was in art as the

visual effects inspired me to take up hobbies that

made me HAPPY. Every interaction was the love

that fueled my soul.

And then it hit me... Love Fuel... OH SNAP!

The process of getting my life back has

14


taken nearly seven years. Geesh... Seven years

sounds like an eternity even as I write it out,

however, my hope is that it doesn’t take as long

for you. Even if it has already been that long or

longer, it is never too late to live a life you desire.

YOU are worth an abundant life filled with

love, happiness, and financial prosperity. As the

founder of Love Fuel, I want to create a

community space that will INSPIRE you to take

back your life and proceed down a path you love. I

want to ENCOURAGE you to pursue your

dreams, no matter how big or small. Finally, I

want to create a place where I and others can help

you find the STRENGTH you need to take on the

15

Larrisa White

world confidently.

Let’s be open-minded in our journey,

creative in our delivery, and above all let’s have

fun FUELING each other with LOVE!

Love ya,

Larrisa

"Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living…" – Bob Marley

16

17

Preface

Everyday someone is asking why they

were born, if his or her life matters in this world,

or what is so special about them. It is in searching

for the answers that your journey begins. There are

multiple reasons why you are born, and sometimes

it may not be understood for what or for whom the

design benefits. You have to try and live each day

being better to yourself so that you are able to be

good to others.

Why are you here? That is the million

dollar question. You are such a brilliant species,

yet so many times you have refused to tap into the

wonderment of your being. Your very existence is

18


like something out of a box office movie; sci-fi,

drama, & comedy.

In the movie, Look Who’s Talking, the

journey of the sperm was one of excitement

accompanied by comedic commentary of what the

sperm might have been thinking on its way to the

egg. Although the producers succeeded with the

intent to entertain us, the real voyage is closely

matched to a horror film. It starts out with a group

of buddies brave enough to explore unknown

territory. This is one adventure of which stories

have been told that once you go in, you never

come out alive. These buddies continue anyway

falling off one by one.

19

Larrisa White

As in most scary movies with the intent for

a sequel, there is always one character that fights

harder with the belief that there will be light at the

end of this horrific tunnel. It perseveres through

the torrential passage of near-death experiences as

it reaches the egg. It then forms this alien-like

creature where what lies ahead is still a dangerous

path during the gestation period before it develops

into a beautiful baby.

Although, it may seem as if this book is a

depiction of science and film, it isn’t.

Nevertheless, there is something miraculous and

magical about the birth of all living things on this

planet. The message is simple. You are made to

20


conquer fears and withstand conditions that may

seem extremely difficult to endure at times. The

buddy warrior who survived the horror movie is in

each of us, and the sequel is called, “Life.” There

will be a network of people who start out with

you. As you continue on your journey there may

be loss; however, use the loss as the fuel that

pushes you towards the light.

This book may not change your life, but

the hope is that it inspires you to become your

authentic self. Explore your spiritual awareness

using all that is around you. Discover your

strengths so that it will lead to a better life,

ultimately motivating the change you seek.

21

22


Dear Diary,

At the time I decided to start writing a

blog, I was going through a little bit of a transition

in my life. My love meter was very low; self-love

that is. So, I decided to use the energy (fuel) from

my family and friends to get me up out of this funk.

Initially, the writing was more like therapy than

anything. It was as if someone else was writing

each entry because each time I went back to read

them myself, I found that I learned a thing or two

from the blog. I recognized some habits that I

needed to change in order to live the life I so

desperately desired.

The first step was altering my mindset. 23

Larrisa White

Blaming everyone around me for my

circumstances had to end because it wasn’t

anyone’s fault except my own. God gave us free

will during our creation, and sometimes with the

abuse of that power, we get IT wrong. (“IT” being

life) Instead of listening to my intuition on some of

the decisions I have made, my ego stepped in.

Being the rebel that she is, she does not like to be

told what to do, when to do it, or how to do

something.

Although, my ego was in control,at some

point I realized that enough was enough. The way

I went about things only made my life more

difficult.

24


Once I was at the crossroads of a

breakthrough, it was one of the most

uncomfortable experiences I have ever

encountered. At times I felt claustrophobic being

outside, as if the oxygen in the air was of another

planet. I couldn’t quiet my mind to think because

there was still so much chatter of resistance to this

new way of being.

I wanted to change... I needed to change.

There was nothing I wanted more than to be able

to provide a better life, not just for myself, but

most importantly for my children. I asked God to

help me understand why I just couldn’t seem to get

things right. Now, normally I would pray for what

25

Larrisa White

I wanted, however my faith in it actually coming

true was little to none. I thought since my answers

were never being displayed in the way I wanted

then these prayers must have fallen on deaf ears.

Except, this time it was different. I prayed, asked

for what I wanted, and then put it out into the

universe that I was ready to surrender to the will

of God.

At that point, I figured there must be a

reason or purpose for the challenges I had faced.

I just hoped that whatever it was would finally

give me peace. Furthermore, I believed that my

prayers would truly be answered this time. Instead

of complaining about the fact that the messages

26


didn’t come the way I thought they would, I

embraced the way they did show up.

That is when the shift happened!

Until next time,

Larrisa

27

Larrisa White

!

When your self-love meter is low,

everything around you comes in the form of weak

energy. For instance, you may be struggling with a

child in the home who has low self-esteem. You

get frustrated because they may make comments

about their physical appearance or how awkward

they seem compared to others. You might not even

realize that the energy you are giving off, your

child is absorbing. You make think that you’re

doing a great job of hiding your feelings, however

your actions say otherwise.

Maybe you’re already in a serious

relationship with someone and you’re questioning 28


why things haven’t gone to the next level yet. It

could be because you haven’t given yourself that

big energy of love needed for your partner to

match. Maybe in order for you to move forward as

one you must work on SELF first.

In the world of entrepreneurs I hear others

say that the amount of energy you give to your

business will reflect in the success of your

company. So, why would your personal life be any

different.

When you begin to access your love meter,

write a number down from a scale of 1-10; 10

meaning you’re showing enough love to yourself.

Once you have your number down look into how

29

Larrisa White

the number shows up in other areas of your life

and divide them into two categories. One; How

much love do I give? Two; How much love do I

receive?

This is for you to realize the energy you

put into a project, your children, a romantic

relationship, and even your business. If you’re

currently unsatisfied with any area of your life this

may help you regain connection, or become more

aware of how you show up for your life. It all

starts with you!

Show yourself some love! C’mon…you

deserve it! Have you told yourself how nice

looking you are this morning? When was the last 30


time you pat yourself on the back for

accomplishing something great? Oh yeah! It

sounds good when other people praise you, yet

when it comes to giving yourself the same

compliments you feel awkward. Well, gone are the

days when you feel uneasy about giving yourself

kudos. Do it DAILY!

31

Documents

Diary of the Unsuccesful Blogger · Diary of the Unsuccessful Blogger My family and close friends rallied around me doing the best they could to create an environment of love and