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Different Families Different Dances: Children of Alcoholics in the Classroom When you live in a family where a parent has an addiction you learn ways of coping to help the family and get your needs met. Sometimes those strategies are counterproductive in the classroom. Participants will learn about Children of Alcoholics and strategies to help students be more successful in school. Presenter: Ann Mary Roberts - Radford University - Radford, VA
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DIFFERENT FAMILIES/ DIFFERENT DANCE
CHILDREN OF OF ALCOHOLICS
IN THE CLASSROOMcode: 1181
North Carolina Middle Level EducationMarch 17th, 2014Ann Mary Roberts Radford University
AGENDA
• INTRODUCTION- WHO AM I WHO ARE YOU
• GOALS OF CLASS• DYNAMICS IN THE ALCOHOLIC
FAMILIES• ROLES CHILDREN CAN ADOPT• IMPLICATIONS IN THE CLASSROOM• WHAT CAN TEACHERS DO• QUESTIONS AND CLOSURE
WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GAIN FROM THIS WORKSHOP?
ASSUMPTIONS
• MAIN ROLE OF PARENTS IS TO PROVIDE FOR NEEDS
• PARENTS ARE HUMAN AND MAKE MISTAKES
CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS
Resilient CleverGetting their needs metNot deficient or less than Strengths and limitations
like every other child
MANY VARIABLES INFLUENCE /IMPACT ALCOHOLIC PARENT
Emerging themes in an alcoholic family
Take blameShameGuiltUnclear boundariesDon’t know what is normalDon’t trust feelings/sensesChaosNeed for control
Co-dependent
• Caretaking: become indispensable, become a martyr.
• Assuming responsibility for other's behavior.
• Increasing control efforts when chaos increases, attempting to control everything and everyone,
• Believing that with more effort you can fix the addict/family.
• Accepting only acceptable feelings.
Hero Child
• “little mother/father” in the house
• always does what's right• over-achiever• very responsible • needs everyone's approval• not much fun• controlling• driven
Rebel/ Scapegoat
• hostility & defiance • withdrawn & sullen• gets negative attention-
trouble-maker• independent• truth teller• trouble with addiction
Lost Child
• loner•day-dreamer•solitary (alone) •withdrawn•drifts & floats through life•not missed for days•quiet, shy & ignored
Mascot/Clown
• super cute • immature• anything for a laugh or
attention • ambassador• hyper-active, short attention
span• won’t take things seriously
How do these behaviors manifest in classroom?
Suggestions for Teachers
Emotionally /physically safe place
Compassionate boundariesListen- reflecting feelingsAlert guidanceAdvisory-skills building
Summary
Children of alcoholics are resilient, clever and are just trying to get their needs met like any of us
They have learned a different dance to get those needs met and to take care of their families
Caring teachers can positively impact their dance
