DivorceWarm-up:Warm-up:

You have probably known someone who has You have probably known someone who has gone through a divorce. gone through a divorce.

What were the positive outcomes of the divorce? What were the positive outcomes of the divorce? What were the negative outcomes? What were the negative outcomes?

Do you think they could have worked it out? Do you think they could have worked it out? Do you think it would have been better if they did?Do you think it would have been better if they did?

Divorce• More than half of the children born More than half of the children born

in 1994 will spend some or all of in 1994 will spend some or all of their childhood in a single-parent their childhood in a single-parent home (McLanahan 1994).home (McLanahan 1994).

• Approximately half of all first Approximately half of all first marriages will end in divorce marriages will end in divorce (Census Bureau 1992).(Census Bureau 1992).

Table A1. Marital Status of People 15 Years and Over, by Age, Sex, Race, and Hispanic Origin/1, 2008

(Numbers in thousands, except for percentages.)

Married Spouse Present

Married Spouse Absent Widowed Divorced Separated

Never Married

Percent Percent Percent Percent Percent Percent

BOTH SEXES

.Total 15+ 50.5 1.4 6.0 9.8 2.2 30.0

.15-17 years 0.2 0.6 - 0.2 0.7 98.3

.18-19 years 2.1 0.6 - 0.2 0.8 96.3

.20-24 years 13.4 0.9 0.1 1.1 1.3 83.2

.25-29 years 39.5 1.7 0.3 3.8 2.4 52.3

.30-34 years 57.1 2.0 0.4 7.3 3.0 30.3

.35-39 years 64.6 2.0 0.6 10.3 3.0 19.6

.40-44 years 63.6 2.1 1.0 13.6 3.2 16.6

.45-49 years 64.2 1.6 1.6 15.8 3.0 13.7

.50-54 years 65.9 1.3 2.9 16.4 2.8 10.7

.55-64 years 67.5 1.2 5.6 16.4 2.1 7.2

.65-74 years 64.3 1.2 16.8 11.9 1.6 4.3

.75-84 years 49.3 1.2 38.6 6.5 0.8 3.6

.85+ years 26.6 1.8 63.0 4.1 0.3 4.2

.15-17 years 0.2 0.6 0.0 0.2 0.7 98.3

.18+ years 53.5 1.5 6.4 10.4 2.3 25.9

.15-64 years 49.8 1.5 1.7 9.9 2.4 34.8

.65+ years 54.6 1.3 29.8 9.1 1.2 4.1

Footnotes:

All Races

1/ Hispanics may be of any race.Dash ("-") Represents or rounds to zero.Note: Prior to 2001, this table included group quarters people.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, 2008 Annual Social and Economic SupplementInternet Release Date: January 2009

Divorce Overview• Young couples marrying for the first time face Young couples marrying for the first time face

roughly a 40-50% chance of divorceroughly a 40-50% chance of divorce (U.S. Census (U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Reports, P23-180, Bureau, Current Population Reports, P23-180, 1992, p. 5).1992, p. 5).

• Many other couples are in stable but chronically Many other couples are in stable but chronically distressed marriages.distressed marriages.

• Adults and children are at increased risk for Adults and children are at increased risk for mental and physical problems due to marital mental and physical problems due to marital distressdistress (e.g., Cherlin & Furstenberg, 1994; Coie (e.g., Cherlin & Furstenberg, 1994; Coie et al. 1993; Coyne, Kahn, & Gotlib, 1987; Cowan & et al. 1993; Coyne, Kahn, & Gotlib, 1987; Cowan & Cowan, 1992; Fincham, Grych, & Osborne, 1993).Cowan, 1992; Fincham, Grych, & Osborne, 1993).

Divorce Overview (continued)• Mismanaged conflict predicts both marital Mismanaged conflict predicts both marital

distress and negative effects for childrendistress and negative effects for children (e.g., (e.g., Gottman, 1994; Markman & Hahlweg, 1993; Gottman, 1994; Markman & Hahlweg, 1993; Clements, Stanley, & Markman, 1997; Cowan & Clements, Stanley, & Markman, 1997; Cowan & Cowan, 1992; Grych & Fincham, 1990).Cowan, 1992; Grych & Fincham, 1990).

• Conflicts at home lead to decreased work Conflicts at home lead to decreased work productivity, especially for menproductivity, especially for men (e.g., Forthofer, (e.g., Forthofer, Markman, Cox, Stanley, & Kessler, 1996).Markman, Cox, Stanley, & Kessler, 1996).

• The "triple threat" of marital conflict, divorce, and The "triple threat" of marital conflict, divorce, and out-of-wedlock births has led to a generation of out-of-wedlock births has led to a generation of U.S. children at great risk for poverty, alienation, U.S. children at great risk for poverty, alienation, and antisocial behavior.and antisocial behavior.

Divorce Overview (continued)• More than two-thirds of all parental divorces do not involve More than two-thirds of all parental divorces do not involve

highly conflicted marriages.highly conflicted marriages.

• In other words, two-thirds of divorces do not happen In other words, two-thirds of divorces do not happen because of spousal physical abuse and/or serious conflict; because of spousal physical abuse and/or serious conflict; rather, they happen because spouses grow apart. rather, they happen because spouses grow apart.

• "Unfortunately, these are the very divorces that most likely "Unfortunately, these are the very divorces that most likely to be stressful for children." (Amato and Booth 1997: p. to be stressful for children." (Amato and Booth 1997: p. 220) 220)

• The reason? The reason?

• Children value the love, support, and attention they Children value the love, support, and attention they receive from [both of] their parents even if their parents’ receive from [both of] their parents even if their parents’ marriage isn’t particularly warm.marriage isn’t particularly warm.

Numerous factors have been shown to increase the risk of marital dissolution.

Factors shown to increase risk include, but are not limited to…

•wives' employment and income (Greenstein, 1990), •neuroticism (Kelly & Conley, 1987), •premarital cohabitation (Bumpass, Martin, & Sweet, 1991; Thomson & Colella, 1992),•difficulties in the areas of leisure activities and sexual relations (Fowers et al., 1996),•physiological arousal prior to problem-solving discussions (Levenson & Gottman, 1985),•parental divorce (Glenn & Kramer, 1987),•previous divorce of husbands (Aguirre & Parr, 1982; Bumpass et al., 1991),•communication positivity/negativity (Markman, 1981), •communication withdrawal and invalidation (Markman & Hahlweg, 1993),

Factors shown to increase risk include, but are not limited to…

•defensiveness and withdrawal (Gottman & Krokoff, 1989), •higher ratios of hostility to warmth (Matthews et al., 1996), •dissatisfaction with partners' personality and habits (Fowers et al., 1996), •difficulties in communication and problem solving (Fowers et al., 1996) •religious dissimilarity (Maneker & Rankin, 1993), •maintaining separate finances (Kurdek, 1993),•knowing the partner a short time before marriage (Kurdek, 1993), •marrying young (Booth & Edwards, 1985; Bumpass et al., 1991; Martin & Bumpass, 1989), •being less conscientious (Kurdek, 1993),

Factors shown to increase risk include, but are not limited to…

•problems relating to friends and family (Kurdek, 1991; Fowers et al., 1996), •low or differing levels of education (Bumpass et al., 1991)…•…and, having dissimilar attitudes (Kurdek, 1993; Larsen & Olson, 1989).(from Clements, Stanley, & Markman, 1997)

Factors Leading to Divorce

• Most factors can be traced to Most factors can be traced to selfishness.selfishness.

• It could be selfishness with time, It could be selfishness with time, money, work, caring and money, work, caring and communication.communication.

• Other factors of divorce may be Other factors of divorce may be changing value systems, changing value systems, physical and emotional abuse, physical and emotional abuse, religious differences or religious differences or alcohol/substance abuse.alcohol/substance abuse.

Dr. Medved lists the major arguments against divorce

1.1. Divorce hurts you.Divorce hurts you.

2.2. Divorce hurts those around you.Divorce hurts those around you.

3.3. Single life is not what it is cracked up Single life is not what it is cracked up to be.to be.

4.4. Staying married is better for you.Staying married is better for you.

More Personal Problems Associated With Divorce.

• Divorced people have more illness, more Divorced people have more illness, more premature deaths, higher suicide rates and premature deaths, higher suicide rates and more accidents than those who are married.more accidents than those who are married.

• When we divorce we learn to doubt that any When we divorce we learn to doubt that any relationship can be permanent.relationship can be permanent.

• Children fear that they caused the divorce and Children fear that they caused the divorce and they feel rejected and alone.they feel rejected and alone.

The “Social Re-adjustment Rating Scale”

This lists the events most shattering to This lists the events most shattering to one’s equilibriumone’s equilibrium

The scale shows marital separation and The scale shows marital separation and divorce as the 2divorce as the 2ndnd and 3 and 3rdrd most stressful most stressful situation (after death of a spouse) that situation (after death of a spouse) that anyone can experience.anyone can experience.

Effects of Divorce on the Couple

No one ever escapes from a No one ever escapes from a divorce unscathed.divorce unscathed.

Hopes and dreams are replaced with…Hopes and dreams are replaced with…

1.1. Feelings of rejection & insecurity Feelings of rejection & insecurity

2.2. Lower self-conceptLower self-concept

3.3. Fear (about the future, $, Fear (about the future, $, relationships, their children, etc….)relationships, their children, etc….)

Coping With DivorceDealing with divorce is similar to coping with a Dealing with divorce is similar to coping with a

death.death.

The following are suggestions to help in coping The following are suggestions to help in coping with a divorce:with a divorce:

1.1. Consistent visitation Consistent visitation 5.5. Support of Support of

2.2. Economic stabilityEconomic stability family & family & friendsfriends

3.3. Community resourcesCommunity resources 6. 6. Family therapyFamily therapy

4.4. MediationMediation

What are some simple activities that families going through a divorce

might do to strengthen each other?

**Be sure that children understand that the divorce is

NOT their fault.**

Divorce will not have the same effect on all children.

The consequences vary, depending on:The consequences vary, depending on:1.1. children's ages, children's ages, 2.2. family characteristics, family characteristics, 3.3. level of family conflict, level of family conflict, 4.4. parent-child relationships, parent-child relationships, 5.5. socio-economic level, socio-economic level, 6.6. mental well-being of each parent, mental well-being of each parent, 7.7. maternal employment, maternal employment, 8.8. amount of social support. amount of social support. • Some divorces bring relief to families while others Some divorces bring relief to families while others

leave the family devastated.leave the family devastated.

Effects of Divorce by AgeAge Theme Symptoms What to do2-5 Abandonment Sleep Explain custodial

disturbances parent will return.

5-9 Displaced, School Discuss fears,Grief difficulties Contact with

non-custodial parent.

9-12 Acting out Spying, fight Patience, lovewith parents.

13+ Relationship Independence,Communication,

failure promiscuous encouragerelationships.

Adjusting to DivorceParents can help children adjust to divorce Parents can help children adjust to divorce

by: by:

1.1. decreasing conflict, decreasing conflict,

2.2. relationship with parents, relationship with parents,

3.3. economic stability, economic stability,

4.4. and consistent visitation.and consistent visitation.

Some Legal Aspects of Divorce

A.A. AlimonyAlimony

B.B. Child supportChild support

C.C. CustodyCustody

D.D. Division of assets Division of assets

The Major Challenges of Single Parenting Include:

1.1. Day Care IssuesDay Care Issues

2.2. Personal timePersonal time

3.3. Economic StabilityEconomic Stability