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DO NOT CONTINUE SCROLLING UNLESS YOU ARE

ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT YOU ARE DONE

STUDYING FOR THIS EXAM AND ARE READY TO TAKE IT!

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English Department, Y – daho Fall 2012 English 332 Midterm Exam—Neoclassicism/18th Century Brother Brugger

#1: You have to take this exam by yourself. Violate this condition and win a session with the Dean of Students. In other words, you’re on your honor to take this exam without the use of notes, texts, the Internet (except for this test), classmates, friends, roommates, spouses, potential spouses, or British literary historians/critics. In still other words, you’re to hold your own little soirée (French: “an evening party”)—just you, your #2 pencil, the Scan-Tron bubble sheet, and this test. #2: Completely fill in the appropriate bubbles with a #2 pencil only (no pen). Also, be sure to fill the bubbles for your name and I-number. No name, no number, no score—no joke. Put my name on it, too. #3: While you don’t have to take this exam in one sitting, once you open this file, you may not return to any course-related materials (“As a dog returneth to his vomit”—Proverbs 26:11).

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part I—Identification. Mark “A” if the statement characterizes the Romantics, and “B” if the statement characterizes the Neoclassicists. 1. The production of literature is the result of long study and practice. 2. Like nations, the theory and practice of poetry was to be revolutionized. 3. Poetry involved the mind, emotions, and imagination of the poet. 4. Believed in notions of correctness, decorum, and rules regarding the writing of literature. 5. Adherence to rules was unnecessary; poetry was impulsive, not the product of labor and study. 6. Believed in the “free activity” of the imagination. 7. For source material, these writers looked to nature and landscape, seeing these things as providing access to God; natural objects

corresponded to a spiritual world. 8. These writers had an immense respect for ancient Greek and Roman writers. 9. Wilderness was equated with salvation, rather than destruction. 10. Literary genius is largely a thing of the past, having ended with Shakespeare. 11. Commonplace glorified: common events, common people and things, common language; elevation of rustic life. 12. Human beings were primary subject matter of literature. 13. Believed poets are endowed with a childlike sense of wonder lost to most adults. 14. Poetry was an imitation of human life, a “mirror held up to nature.” 15. Had an affinity for the supernatural: ancient folklore, superstition, distant past and place. 16. Wilderness was equated with destruction, rather than salvation. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part II—Matching. Match the dates to the statements listed below. Each will be used only once. Reigns: A. 1660-1685 B. 1685-1688 C. 1689-1702 D. 1702-1714 E. 1714-1727 F. 1727-1760 G. 1760-1820 H. 1649-1660 17. Reign of William & Mary (who ruled as honey bunnies). 18. Reign of George I (who was imported from Germany—sausage, sauerkraut, beer and Volkswagens suddenly trendy in London). 19. Reign of Anne. 20. Reign of James II (who, during his unconventional royal childhood, fled to France dressed as a girl). 21. Reign of Charles II (who was imported from France; wore the crown over a beret). 22. Reign of George II (a.k.a. “Boy George,” as well as “Georgie Boy”; reportedly one of the loudest snorers in history).

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23. Reign of George III (a.k.a “Boy George’s Boy,” as well as “Georgie Boy’s Boy,” which may help to explain his subsequent insanity and ultimate suicide).

24. Reign of Ollie Cromwell, who entitled himself “Lord Protector of a United Commonwealth of England, Scotland, Ireland and the Colonies” (or “LPOAUCOESIATC,” for short).

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(You)             He’s  watching  .  .  .

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________Part III—More Matching. Match the dates to the events listed below. Each will be used only once.

A. 1665 B. 1666 C. 1678 D. 1707 E. 1776 F. 1789 G. 1649 H. 1660 I. 1775-1783 25. England and Scotland are formally united, becoming Great Britain. (Kilts now worn with natty wool blazers!) 26. American Declaration of Independence. 27. Black Death tours England again (first tour: 1348), inconveniently killing 700,000. 28. Outbreak of the French Revolution. (Beatles write corresponding song roughly 180 years later.) 29. A baker accidentally sets fire to his shop; the resulting fire destroys 13,000 homes and 80 churches in 7 days. Londoners sing,

“Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Fire!” 30. Titus Oates’ attempt to put King James on the throne; a.k.a. the “Popish Plot.” (Question: if Titus converted to the Quaker

religion, would he have been called “Quaker Oates”?) 31. Charlie II—the sequel—assumes the throne. 32. Revolting Americans revolt. 33. Cromwell has Charlie I beheaded. Reportedly, as Charlie approached the chopping block, the executioner cautioned, “Watch your

fingers.” ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Gift  Idea  #1:  Plush  “Black  Death”  Microbe   Most   folks  never   realize  how  cute  microbes   can  be  when  expanded  one  million   times  and   then   fashioned   into   cuddly  plush.    Keep  one  close  by  to  remind  yourself  that  there  is  an  invisible  universe  out  there  filled  with  very  small  things  that  can  do   incredible  damage   to  much  bigger   things.     Then  go  and  wash  your  hands.     (Lather,   rinse,   repeat.)       Each  plush  microbe   comes  with  an   instructional   card   that   includes  an  actual  picture  of   the  microbe  along  with   infection   .   .   .   er,   I  mean,  information  about  the  microbe  in  its  natural  environment.    Learn  more  at:      http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvbid/plague/resources/plagueFactSheet.pdf   ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part IV—Even More Matching. Match the brief description to the appropriate character. Each will be used only once. A. Bandwell & Paludanus B. Duke of Calabria C. Roderigo D. Ianthe E. Aurelia F. Violenta’s brothers G. Violenta H. Valet I. Camilla J. Ramires 34. A Spanish gentleman, knight of Valencia; turned bigamist. 35. An initially virtuous orphan; would give O.J. Simpson a run for his money.

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36. An obscure wedding witness. 37. Employed in silversmithing. 38. A co-conspirator and accessory to murder. 39. Hears the murderess’ case. 40. Quick to rebuke sons, slow to inform daughter. 41. Apparently told the tale before Manley. 42. Gives a substantial dowry to his son-in-law. 43. Ramires’ only heir. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Gift  Idea  #2:  Roderigo  Knife  Holder    

                                               Makes  storing  your  knives  a  cathartic  experience!    Sharpen  skills  with  this  inaction  figure! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part V—Fill in the Blank. Fill in each blank with the correct answer from the corresponding choices. _____44_____ Fermor (now Belinda) rises late and journeys on the Thames to _____45_____, where she joins Lord _____46_____ (now the Adventurous Baron) and the rest of their party of belles and beaux. The Baron has already resolved to secure the lock and has made appropriate sacrifices and prayers to receive this boon. Their world of high fashion takes refreshments (consisting of _____47_____) and disport themselves. _____48_____ hands the Baron the scissors; he cuts off Belinda’s lock of hair. Upset and enraged, she and the other belles attack the beaux (chiefly verbally) and win the battle when she throws _____49_____ in the Baron’s face and threatens him with her _____50_____. But in the altercation the lock has been lost and cannot be restored. Pope consoles Belinda with the relative permanence of art: through this poem, the lost lock has become a shooting star that will outlast even the life of _____51_____. 44. A. Anabella B. Arabella C. Astella D. Ashleigh E. Aurelia F. Ariel 45. A. Wales B. Dover C. Hampton D. Calais E. Paris F. Oxford 46. A. Petre B. Pedro C. Pope D. Sir Plume E. Edgar F. Edward 47. A. crumpets B. cookies C. coffee D. cocoa E. pudding F. fish & chips 48. A. Ariel B. Zephyretta C. Megrim D. Clarissa E. Crispissa F. Momentilla 49. A. hot water B. snuff C. anthrax D. tea E. scissors F. chili powder 50. A. scissors B. garter dagger C. sharp comb D. bodkin E. mace F. social clout 51. A. the poet B. the poem C. Belinda D. the Empire E. friends F. words ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fun British Facts � The Titanic wasn’t a British ship. The English operated it, but it was owned by the International Mercantile Marine Co., controlled

by U.S. magnate J.P. Morgan. � “Hail to the Chief,” the well-known song played for U.S. Presidents, isn’t an American song. It was written in England by Sir

Walter Scott and another guy. � During his midnight ride on April 18, 1775, Paul Revere didn’t shout “The British are coming.” Instead, his call was “The regulars

are coming.” The regulars were the British troops. � The Nazis didn’t start the practice of concentration camps. Britain used them during the Boer Wars (1880-1, 1899-1902). � The English sparrow isn’t a sparrow—and it comes from Africa, not England. � Most people think America is the largest English-speaking country on Earth. By population, that would be India. � A pig and a hog are not the same thing—not in the U.S. anyway. In England there is no difference between a pig and a hog, but in

the U.S. if a pig is over 180 pounds, it is considered a hog.

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� Stonehenge wasn’t erected by Druids. Stonehenge was a Bronze Age creation, going back to the second millennium B.C. The Druids in Britain were of the Iron Age (more than a thousand years later).

� Big Ben isn’t the name of the famous clock in England. Big Ben is the clock’s largest bell, weighing over 13 tons. � “Doomsday” doesn’t refer to the day we’re all doomed. The phrase comes from the Old English noun “dom,” which meant

“judgment,” so doomsday is actually “judgment day.” � Seems a bit illogical, but the Speaker of the House in Great Britain is not allowed to speak. � In England, corn means wheat. (In the Bible, corn means grain.) ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part VI—Multiple Choice (Finally!). Choose the best answer. Questions concern “A Modest Proposal.” 52. What will be the average price of a child, according to Swift’s calculations? A. Two shillings B. Ten shillings C. Two pounds D. Five pounds 53. At what age does Swift suggest that children should be sold? A. At birth B. At one year C. At five years D. At twelve years 54. Why does the author reject the idea of eating teenagers? A. Because they are old enough to feel pain B. Because they might fight back C. Because their meat is tough D. Because they are more valuable as farm labor 55. What is the author’s religious affiliation? A. Anglican B. Catholic C. Puritan D. Mormon 56. Which of the following is not one of the alternative “expedients” the author rejects? A. Taxing absentee landlords B. Buying domestic goods C. Instilling patriotism D. Joining the United Kingdom 57. Who does Swift suggest would be happy to “eat up our whole Nation”—even without salt? A. England B. Landlords C. Irish Catholics D. Savages of Formosa 58. What evidence does the author offer for his personal disqualification from his own proposal? A. His years of loyal service to in the Irish Parliament B. His status as a clergyman C. The fact that he is childless D. The fact that he is a vegetarian 59. Who will be the primary consumers of human flesh, according to the proposal? A. The rich B. Welfare recipients C. The old and infirm D. Atheists 60. At what age can a child normally begin a career as a thief? A. Four B. Six C. Eleven D. Fifteen ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part VII—Quotes. Match the sample line to the title of the work from whence it cometh. Each will be used only once. A. “Modest Proposal” B. “Deserted Village” C. “Country Churchyard” D. Rape of the Lock E. “Wife’s Resentment” F. “Eton College” G. Dictionary H. “Death of a Favorite Cat” 61. “Not all that tempts your wandering eyes . . . is lawful prize . . .” 62. “The heart! This infamous heart of thine was the origin of all my misery. It was by this the traitor was taught to flatter and

betray!” 63. “Men would become as fond of their wives during their pregnancy, as they are now of their mares in foal.” 64. “. . . by which the pronunciation of our language may be fixed, and its attainment facilitated; by which its purity may be preserved,

its use ascertained, and its duration lengthened.” 65. “To each his sufferings; all are men, condemned alike to groan: / The tender for another’s pain, the unfeeling for his own.” 66. “Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey, / where wealth accumulates, and men decay.” 67. “The boast of heraldry, the pomp of power, and all that beauty, all that wealth e’er gave, / Awaits alike the inevitable hour: the

paths of glory lead but to the grave.” 68. “Uncurled it hangs, the fatal shears demands; / and tempts once more thy sacrilegious hands.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part VIII—WHAT?! MORE MATCHING? Yea, verily. Simply suck it up and match the writers below to the biographical statements even belower. Each will be used only once.

A. Gray B. Johnson C. Defoe D. Pope E. Dryden F. Goldsmith G. Swift 69. This former English poet laureate published nothing before age 27, yet virtually invented the idea of a commercial literary career.

Fun fact: he’s buried next to Chaucer in Westminster Abbey in London. 70. At various times, this guy dealt in men’s clothing, tobacco, wine, and brick before turning to writing. His most famous work is

Robinson Crusoe. Sad fact: Pierce Brosnan stars in a 1996 film version, along with his son, Sean, who plays the cabin boy. Unfortunately, the movie sucks; it’s even worse than Remington Steele. (Hint: Try D-e-f-o-e here.)

71. Likely the foremost prose satirist in English literature, this guy thought himself a loser until about 1700. However, he eventually became dean of Dublin’s St. Patrick’s Cathedral, giving over half his income to the needy and founding Ireland’s first mental hospital.

72. Hunchbacked from spinal tuberculosis, as an adult he stood at 4’ 6”, unable to bathe, dress, recline, or arise by himself. He is known best for his Essay on Criticism. After its publication, critic John Dennis cruelly called him a “hunch-backed toad.” Still, this poet was so influential and successful that historians used to define the first half of the 18th century by his last name!

73. Though constantly encircled by friends and followers during his later life, he was apparently chronically lonely. Still, this writer was so influential and admired that historians used to define the second half of the 18th century by his last name!

74. According to your Norton anthology, this poet “grew up homely, ungainly, apparently stupid, and certainly idle.” Be that as it may, he is buried in the exact same location as his most famous poem—in Stoke Poges.

75. Wrote the famous play She Stoops to Conquer. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Part IX—TRUE/FALSE (WELL, MOSTLY). If the statement is true, mark it T; if false, mark it F. 76. T/F One reason for the creation of A Dictionary of the English Language was an 18th-century concern over English’s

obsolescence. 77. T/F Johnson’s job—and ultimate contribution—was primarily to harmonize several fragmented, outdated English dictionaries. 78. Which of the following, in Johnson’s opinion, was not among the more serious threats to language preservation?

A. Commerce B. Illiteracy C. The upper class D. Translation E. “Diction-mixing” (bilingualism) 79. T/F According to Thomson, Britons, whether or not they realize it, are already slaves to the impending—even inevitable—

commercial and military domination of the newly-created United States. 80. T/F “Britannia” was the nickname of Queen Victoria, hence the famous poem’s title, “Rule, Britannia.” 81. Thomson’s Seasons is best known for its

A. break with Neoclassic tradition B. introduction of the notion of the “sublime” C. anticipation of Romanticism D. naturalistic description E. all of the above F. none of the above

82. T/F One dominant theme in Gray’s “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard” is that death is inevitable, so carpe diem—“seize

the day.” 83. T/F In the same poem, Gray sees the poor as being morally inferior to the wealthy and powerful. 84. T/F Gray’s “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard” may be said to be both Neoclassic and Romantic: on the one hand, it has

the ordered, balanced phrasing and rational sentiments of Romantic poetry; on the other hand, it tends toward the emotionalism and individualism of Neoclassic poetry.

85. T/F Gray’s “Eton College” poem is partially autobiographical. 86. T/F Gray’s “Eton College” poem is comprised of 10 stanzas of 10 lines each in iambic tetrameter; therefore, the entire poem is

comprised of 400 iambic feet. 87. T/F A Horatian ode is a quiet, contemplative kind of poem; it’s distinguished from the more passionate Pindaric ode. 88. T/F Gray’s “Eton College” poem is a Pindaric ode. 89. T/F Gray’s “Ode on the Death of a Favorite Cat” is based on a real event. 90. T/F Gray’s “Favorite Cat” emerges from “the flood” nine times. 91. T/F This same cat is revived via CPR administered by some quick-thinking mice. 92. T/F In “Favorite Cat,” Gray draws two analogies: gold is to women as fish are to cats. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 How  to  Bath  a  Cat    1.  Thoroughly  clean  the  toilet.  2.  Add  the  required  amount  of  shampoo  to  the  toilet  water  and  have  both  lids  lifted.  3.  Obtain  the  cat  and  soothe  him  while  you  carry  him  towards  the  bathroom.  4.  In  one  smooth  movement,  put  the  cat  in  the  toilet  and  close  both  lids  (you  may  need  to  stand  on  the  lid  so  that  he  cannot  escape).    CAUTION:  Do  not  get  any  part  of  your  body  too  close  to  the  edge,  as  his  paws  will  be  reaching  out  for  anything  they  can  find.      5.  The  cat  will  self-­‐agitate  and  make  ample  suds.    Never  mind  the  noises  that  come  from  your  toilet;  the  cat  is  actually  enjoying  this.  6.  Flush  the  toilet  3-­‐4  times—this  provides  an  effective  “power  wash  and  rinse.”  7.  Have  someone  open  the  door  to  the  yard  and  ensure  that  there  are  no  people  between  the  toilet  and  said  door.  7.  Stand  behind  the  toilet  as  far  as  you  can  and  quickly  lift  both  lids.  8.  The  now-­‐clean  cat  will  rocket  out  of  the  toilet  and  run  outside  where  he  will  dry  himself.      Postscript:  The  cat  will  usually  have  nothing  to  say  for  about  three  weeks  and  will  spend  a  lot  of  

time  sitting  with  his  back  to  you.    He  might  even  become  “psycho-­‐ceramic”  and  develop  the  fixed  stare  of  a  plaster  figurine.    You  will  be  tempted  to  assume  he  is  angry;  however,  this  isn’t  usually  the  case.    He  is  simply  plotting  ways  to  injure  you  for  life  the  next  time  you  decide  to  give  him  a  bath.    But  at  least  now  he  smells  a  lot  better.                                      

Signed:    The Dog    

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   93. T/F Goldsmith’s “Deserted Village” is based on a real event. 94. T/F In Goldsmith’s “Deserted Village,” Auburn residents, perhaps foreshadowing a famous Neil Diamond tune, are “coming to

America—TODAY.” (Even if you don’t catch the pop culture reference, you should still be able to answer the question.)

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95. T/F The terms “Age of Reason” and “Age of Enlightenment” are reliable synonyms for the 18th century. 96. T/F The above Age—whatever it’s called—is also known for the rise of the novel. 97. T/F The sun never sets on the British Empire because Britain is in the east, and the sun sets in the west. (False, I think . . .) 98. T/F F.Y.I., England + Scotland + Wales = Great Britain

England + Scotland + Wales + Northern Ireland = the United Kingdom (True) 99. T/F Britain’s 18th-century monarchs enjoyed more power than ever before. 100. T/F The term “Restoration”—at least in 17th/18th-century history and literature—refers to a return to monarchial rule in 1660

(with Chuck, Jr.). 101. Which of the following did not occur in 1666, John Dryden’s Annus Mirabilis?

A. The restoration of Charles II to the throne B. An outbreak of plague C. Military defeat by the Dutch D. The Fire of London

102. T/F Via his Mirabilis poem, Dryden promoted the popular belief that God was unleashing his wrath on the English people and

monarchy. 103. T/F Concerning women contemplating marriage, Astell believed it was better that they remain un(der)educated; in her opinion,

female education leads to marital dissatisfaction—if not disaster. 104. T/F Being love-struck, or smitten, is a proper—even necessary—prerequisite for marriage, argued Astell. 105. Brother Brugger’s Mormonish title and Swiss-Germanic surname begin with . . . 106. T/F Based on his poem, Dryden apparently relished the refreshing scent of clean air following a good London rainstorm.

(In other words, in his estimation, “London City Shower” would be a sure-fire, best-selling

fragrance at Bath and Body Works®.) 107. As Swift’s “Description of a City Shower” makes clear, 18th-century London was troubled by

A. drought B. bubonic plague C. open sewers D. gang violence E. troubles 108. In the latter half of the 18th century, vast tracts of land all over England were transformed from common land into private

property through a process known as:

A. encroachment B. encirclement C. enclosure D. encryption E. environmentalism 109. True (I’m getting tired of writing this thing—just mark it and move on, okay?) 110. T/F With reference to American literature, the term “neoclassic” is rarely applied to 18th-century writers. (True) 111. T/F The era of Emerson, Thoreau, Poe, Melville, and Hawthorne—1830-1865—is sometimes called the American Romantic

Period. (True) 112. – 114. Match these, please:

112. 1660-1700 A. The Augustan Age 113. 1700-1745 B. The Age of Sensibility 114. 1745-1785 C. The Restoration

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ More Fun British Facts � English muffins aren’t English. (And Danishes aren’t Danish.) � Chinese checkers—the game played with marbles and a star-shaped board—didn’t come from China. It’s a modern version of an

English game called “Halma.” � Jersey cows don’t come from New Jersey. They come from Jersey, an island in the English Channel. � The Puritans loaded more beer than water onto the Mayflower before they departed for the New World. � The U.S. has more bagpipe bands than Scotland. Also, bagpipes were invented in Iran, not Scotland. � St. Patrick wasn’t Irish—he was Welsh. � The Liberty Bell wasn’t made in the United States. It was made in London in 1752. (It wasn’t named the Liberty Bell until the

1830s.) � Nelson wasn’t Mr. Mandela’s real first name—it was Rolihlahla. A schoolteacher renamed him Nelson after Horatio Nelson, a

famous British fleet commander.

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� London Bridge isn’t in London. It’s in Arizona. Also, London Bridge has never fallen down. So there! � The Bank of England was not founded by an Englishman. It was founded by a Scotsman. The Bank of Scotland, however, was

founded by an Englishman. � During the time of King Henry VIII, knitting was the specialty of men, not women. � Kilts aren’t a Scottish invention. They originally came from France. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part X—(“Please, I’m begging you no more . . .) Matching. Match the writers below to the biographical statements.

A. Pepys B. Astell C. Manley D. Thomson E. Behn F. Gulliver 115. A cousin duped this writer into a false marriage and then abandoned her. Pregnant, her reputation blasted, she took up her pen as

a last resort. 116. Known as the first feminist writer, her ideas were easily decades, perhaps centuries, before her time. 117. Had the lead role in Gulliver’s Travels. 118. Considered the first professional English woman writer. 119. The first—and most popular—nature poet of the 18th century. Fun fact: While some of his poems survive, he burned most of

them annually on New Year’s Day. 120. Experienced both the Plague and Great Fire of London first-hand, personally attended the execution of Charles I, accompanied

Charles II on his return to England, and had a kidney stone roughly the size of a tennis ball. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part XI—Freebie. Please answer “true” to the next question. 121. I will not worry excessively about my performance on this exam. I will remind myself that failure is a great teacher, and that humility is a wonderful trait. I will remind myself that my identity and happiness should not be determined by something so frivolous and eternally insignificant as a midterm exam. After all, I am a child of God; yea, even a god or goddess in embryo. I promise to exercise a wee bit o’ faith in my instructor, remembering that he has been reasonable—if not downright generous—thus far. I will rest assured that he will make adjustments to my exam score as long as I do not murmur. Until this happens, I will not lose faith in myself, the study of English in general, H.R.M. the Queen, BYU–I, or its sponsoring church. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________Part XII—Quotes. Match the sample line to the title of the work from whence it came. Each will be used only once. A. “Annus Mirabilis” B. The Diary C. Reflections upon Marriage D. “City Shower” E. “Rule, Britannia” F. The Seasons G. Homer Simpson 122. “What a sad sight it was by moonlight to see the whole City almost on fire.” 123. “English! Who needs that? I’m never going to England!” 124. “Rider and horse, amid the miry gulf— / while still, from day to day, his pining wife / and plaintive children his return await, / in

wild conjecture lost.” 125. “He, who only or chiefly chose for beauty, will in a little time find the same reason for another choice.” 126. “The East with incense, and the West in gold, / Will stand like suppliants, to receive her doom.” 127. “Triumphant Tories, and desponding Whigs, / Forget their feuds, and join to save their wigs.” 128. “Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves!” (A virtual freebie.)

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____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Part XIII—More Freebies. Please answer “true” to the next two questions. 129. I will internalize the following calculations: If it takes me 120 credits to graduate, that comes out to 40 three-credit classes. If each class, on average, gives two exams (a midterm and a final) that means I will need to take—and pass—80 exams before I can claim my bachelor’s/ bachelorette’s degree. This exam, therefore, constitutes only 1.25% of all the exams I will take as an undergraduate. 130. Now, repeat—aloud—this statement, courtesy of Hyrum Smith: “Be not discouraged, neither allow the spirit of doubt or gloom or despondency to come into thy life, for these are the tricks of the evil one to destroy thy faith and usefulness. But look upon the bright side of life, be cheerful, humble, prayerful, and pure in thy devotion, and in thy habits, and the Lord will remember thee in mercy. His power and blessings will be upon thee. Therefore, look unto the Lord in humility, and thou shalt be comforted in the answers to thy prayers and be guided in the path of thy duty, day and night.” ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

       

“  .  .  .  and  please  soften  Brother  Brugger’s   cold,  hard  professorial  heart  .  .  .  amen.”