Do we, parents, rule at home?Do we, parents, rule at home?

DISCIPLINARY DISCIPLINARY STRATEGIESSTRATEGIES

““Order” at home…Order” at home…

What do we know about parental authority?

At home we ordered?

Effective authority

Answer to the children’s needs+

Requirement of appropriate behavior patterns

How can we respond to our How can we respond to our children’s needs?children’s needs?

• Understanding the changes that occur during adolescence;

• Understanding the adolescents’ needs;

• Acting according to the adolescents’ changes and needs.

At home we ordered?

How can we demand How can we demand appropriate patterns of appropriate patterns of behavior? behavior?

From parents of children to From parents of children to parents of teens ...parents of teens ...

What changes do the adolescents undergo?

• Fast physical growing-up; • More complex thinking;• Identity, autonomy, responsibility.

At home we ordered?

At home we ordered?

Which are the adolescents’ needs?

• Support;• Stability;• Monitoring;• Rules.

From parents of children to From parents of children to parents of teens ...parents of teens ...

Some disciplinary strategies+

“Order” at home

At home we ordered?

From parents of children to From parents of children to parents of teens ...parents of teens ...

THE NEW MEANING OF AUTHORITY

Facilitate and encourage autonomy

Support your adolescent Support your adolescent

What messages should we convey to the teenager?

• I love you, I accept you as you are;• I appreciate the positive things you do;• I know what you need and I’ll try to correspond;• I am available when you need me;• Affection, respect, interest, attention to

changes, supervision, have clear boundaries, communication.

At home we ordered?

Support, affection, involvement…

Communicating with your teen

Make it happenCreate communication moments

ListenStop, look, do not interrupt, help your teen to express himself, understand and convey understandingTalkLook, speak calmly and confirm that the other understands

At home we ordered?

Support your teenSupport your teen

Provide stability to teenProvide stability to teen

The importance of family routines

Facilitate the organization of the working time;Facilitate coordination among the members of the

family;Make daily routines predictable.

At home we ordered?

Structured environments contribute to the teen’s stability and safety

Boundaries, rules, expectations, control, monitoring

Monitor your teenMonitor your teen

Encourage autonomy and respect the teen’s choices.

Key Questions:• Where is he?• Who is he with?• What is he doing?• When does he come back home?

At home we ordered?

Set rulesSet rules• Set reasonable rules;

• Set explicit, clear, pratical and positive rules;

• Establish a reasonable number of rules;

• Set the rule when there is obedience and consequences

for transgression;

• Do not set rules that can not or will not be accomplished;

• Try to establish general rules for the whole family;

• Require systematic accomplishment of the rules.

At home we ordered?

Disciplinary StrategiesDisciplinary Strategies

How to avoid and deal with difficulties?

DEVELOP A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPTime, communication, support

PRAISE AND REINFORCEMENT

LIMITS AND RULES

Remove attention

THE COST OF RESPONSE

PUNISHMENT

At home we ordered?

Praise and reinforcementPraise and reinforcement

Positive Reinforcement – implementation of positive consequences when a desirable behavior occurs.

Objects, privileges, activities, attention, praise, affection ...

1.Select the reinforcement;2.Apply it in a systematic and consistent way; 3.First apply it consistently and later intermittently;4.Start with immediate reward and step by step delay the reward;5.Talk to your teenager.

At home we ordered?

Praise and reinforcePraise and reinforce

Positive reinforcement: praise

The teen needs to be praised and valued.

The praise should be specific and realistic

I like the sweater you’re wearing. It suits you well. vs You're the prettiest girl in school;

I was pleased with your results vs You are very intelligent.

When my son behaves properly or achieves a desired behavior, do I praise him?

At home we ordered?

Praise and reinforcementPraise and reinforcement

Negative reinforcement – Use negative or unpleasant consequences.

Objects, privileges, activities, attention, praise, affection ...

At home we ordered?

Remove the attentionRemove the attention

By giving attention to an undesirable behavior, even in a negative way (scold, blame), is a way to strengthen them.

•Identify what happens after the inappropriate behavior occurs (adult attention or other young, perks and rewards, interruption of negative conditions);•When facing an undesirable behavior either "pretend not to see or hear it" or move temporarily away from the situation;•Speak with a neutral emotional tone and do not use negative verbalizations.

At home we ordered?

The cost of responseThe cost of response

Cost of response – loss of privileges valued by the youngster, because of inappropriate behavior.

•Remove an activity or pleasant consequence;•Negotiate with the youngster the costs associated with the undesirable behaviors;•Costs must have a logical relationship with the undesirable behaviors.

At home we ordered?

PunishmentPunishment

Punishment – Use a negative consequence according to the inappropriate behavior.

•Punishment may be necessary in situations of risk to oneself (the teenager who transgresses) or to the others;•Punishment highlights the condemnation of the bad behavior and reinforces its negative value .

At home we ordered?

PunishmentPunishment

• Choose a negative consequence for the youngster proportional to the behavior ;

• Warn about the consequences when there is transgression and explain the reasons for the prohibition;

• Do not apply the punishment when emotionally uncontrolled (when feeling angry, annoyed);

• Monitor the implementation of the consequence by making it clear what is forbidden behavior and consequences.

AVOID THE USE OF PUNISHMENT

At home we ordered?

Behaviour agreementBehaviour agreement

1. Establish behaviour changes or the rules to accomplish;2. Establish positive consequences when there is good behaviour;3. Establish unpleasant consequences when there is

transgression.

• It is a written and signed agreement;• Rules and behaviours should be set in reduced number and clearly

(what to do, how often, how long, …), and formulated in a positive way and be possible to achieve;

• The consequences should be identified according to the characteristics of the adolescent and their implementation should be feasible;

• Stipulate the beginning and the end of the agreement - When the intended objectives are achieved, the agreement should finish.

Promotion of cooperation and negotiation

At home we ordered?

““Order” at home…Order” at home…

How to avoid and deal with difficulties?

DEVELOP A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPTime, communication, support

PRAISE AND REINFORCEMENT

LIMITS AND RULES

Remove attention

THE COST OF RESPONSE

PUNISHMENT

When there is adequate behavior, do I praise my child?

Do I praise my child?Do I spend positive time

with my child?

Do I establish clear rules and consequences when there is

transgression?

Do I only concentrate myself on negative behaviors?

Do I avoid to focus on undesirable behaviors?

At home we ordered?

EPIS MethodologyEPIS Methodology

http://epis.pt/epis/homepage.php

Applied by APPIS on the field, in Paredes

Discipline to educate, not to punish ...

At home we ordered?