Dracula the Panto! - Pantomimes from PYP Home Page_files/PYP... · Count Vladimir Dracula XIII! Her Son, a reluctant Vampyr ... !And balloons and musical chairs and pass the parcel

Characters

Countess Vampira Villainess Donner ] Henchpersons to Countess Blitzen ] Count Vladimir Dracula XIII Her Son, a reluctant VampyrFloss The Tooth FairySir Toby Jugg Gentleman ExplorerMiss Crystal Jugg His Daughter, an English RoseBertie Boots Sir Toby’s ValetBaskerville Sir Toby’s Faithful Hound [Non-speaking]Miss Flora Bundy Nanny to CrystalHans Von Spentall An InnkeeperLiesl His Lovely DaughterFang A Tiny Vampyr Bat [Non-speaking]Chorus / Dancers / Juveniles

Scenes

ACT 1Prologue Deepest, Darkest TransylvaniaScene 1 The Tomb with a View InnScene 2 Outside the Tomb With A View Inn Scene 3 The Market Square, GravesendScene 4 On the Way to the CastleScene 5 Castle Dracul Scene 6 The Haunted Bedroom

ACT 2Scene 1 The Turret Room in the Old East Wing Scene 2 The Honeymoon Suite Scene 3 Meanwhile... Elsewhere in the CastleScene 4 The Banqueting Hall Scene 5 A Romantic Interlude and a Little Night Music!Scene 6 Ill-Met by MoonlightScene 7 The Turret Room in the Old East Wing Scene 8 The Grand BallroomFinale

* Throughout the script may be replaced with a topical/local reference

Dracula the Panto!__________________________________________________________________________________________

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1© Peta Duncombe 20/01/2002

The Prologue: Deepest, Darkest Transylvania__________________________________________________________________________________________[ A swirl of dry ice/smoke. FX Pyroflash, SFX Theme Music. Countess Vampira enters L. ]

Vampira: Cower mortals and well you might Full dread the Terror of the Night, For Humankind must always be My near’st and dearest enemy! Friday Thirteenth! Tonight’s the night That either makes me or fordoes me quite! Transylvanian legend does foretell Once every hundred years, at midnight’s bell, A Vampyr King suckceeds to rule, From the ancient line of Vlad Dracul; My son and heir should claim this right, As the thirteenth Count on the thirteenth night, But Vladimir, my son is a thoroughbred wimp ~ As your English saying has it: Like lettuce, LIMP! Unlucky for some, the thirteenth number sure, For my son refuses the title! Such a bore! He declares he’s Anti-Blood Sports! VEGETARIAN! I ask you: how can a Vampyr be Humanitarian? These are just teething troubles without doubt, For soon his little milk fangs will drop out, Then Vlad. will see grave error in his ways And quite forget his youthful Salad Days! This is the night my plans come to fruition, I fly fearless in the teeth of opposition! Upon the very stroke of midnight, As the moon its zenith assume Count Dracula shall rule of right And Humankind be doomed! Doomed! I have a vested interest in your fate I freely own, For Vampira, Dowager Countess, Shall be the power behind the throne!

[ Vampira exits L., laughing wildly. FX Pyroflash, SFX Fairy Glissando and the Tooth Fairy enters R. She carries a large glittery toothbrush, rather than the usual wand. ]

Tooth Fairy: I bid you welcome, Gentlefolk! Fie! Do not look so wary: No evil Vampyr I, my dears, I am the famed Tooth Fairy! You may not recognise me, it’s quite true, But from an early age I’m known to you! I visit in the still hours of the night And leave a gift of coins shining bright!


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Tooth Fairy: My given name is Floss, And I know just who’s been kissing Their sweethearts in the playground, By the front teeth that go missing! Our Fairy Tale this night resolves Upon a single kiss, Vampira’s doomed to fail I vow, And this her Nemesis: For every ancient vaunted curse, Tho’ bound about with myths and worse, Has yet a ready antidote - Vampyr, this will grab you by the throat: For Vladimir it’s not too late, The thirteenth Count shall choose his Fate; And if his kind heart holds full sway, He’ll break the curse and win the day! The Vampyr reign of terror shall this night Be laid to rest and Evil put to flight!

[ Tooth Fairy exits R. ]

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Scene 1: The Tomb With A View Inn__________________________________________________________________________________________[ An attractive Country Inn. Lively song/dance routine: ____________________. Chorus, Dancers, Hans and Liesl and Count Dracula. Hans Von Spentall steps forward. ]

Hans: Welcome! Welcome, everyone! Eat, drink and spend freely!

Liesl: [Gently reproving] Pa! It’s eat, drink and be merry!

Hans: Yes, well... That too!

Liesl: Listen everyone, my father has a special announcement to make!

Hans: I have, Liesl?

Liesl: You have Father! Vladimir, come here!

[ Liesl holds out her hand to him and Dracula moves to join her and Hans. ]

Hans: Count Vladimir, on behalf of everyone here, I wish you a very Happy Birthday!

Liesl & Chorus: Happy Birthday!

Liesl: [Prompting Hans] And...


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Hans: And in honour of the occasion, I am... [Hesitating] Um...

Liesl: Father is delighted to say...

Hans: [Cutting in] I wouldn’t say that!

Liesl: [Firmly] Yes, you would!

Hans: Oh, no, I wouldn’t!

Liesl & Chorus: [Encouraging audience] Oh, yes, you would!

Hans: [With an effort] I am delighted to say the drinks are on the house!

Chorus: Hurrah!

Liesl: Happy Birthday, Vladimir! [She kisses his cheek]

Dracula: [To the company] Thank you everyone, you’re very kind!

[ The Chorus acknowledge him with smiles. ]

Liesl: Please don’t be sad, Count Vladimir, not on your birthday!

Dracula: But it’s because it’s my birthday that I’m miserable, Liesl! You all know the legend...

Chorus: Yes, we all know the legend!

Dracula: It’s the ancient curse brought down upon my family many centuries ago. Once every hundred years, on Friday the Thirteenth, as the moon reaches its zenith...

Liesl: The clock strikes midnight!

[ Comedy SFX Cuckoo Clock strikes 12. ]

Hans: And a lone Wolf howls in the wood.

[ SFX Wolf howling. ]

Dracula: The heir to Castle Dracul becomes a Vampyr!

Liesl: But that’s just an old folk tale!

Dracula: I wish I could be sure of that, Liesl.

[ SFX Comedy Fanfare. Donner and Blitzen call out offstage. ]


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D & B: Make way! Make Way! Make way for the Countess!

Dracula: Oh, no! Mother! I must leave you.

Liesl: Don’t despair, Vladimir. Remember, it is also an ancient tradition that all fairy stories have a happy ending!

Dracula: Not the way my Mother tells them, it isn’t! And it would never do for her to find me moonlighting as your Bartender, Hans!

Hans: It shall be our secret! Cheers!

[ Dracula exits R. as Donner & Blitzen enter from U.S.L. They take their cue from Hans. ]

D & B: Cheers! Three cheers for the Countess Vampira! Hip, hip...

Liesl & Chorus: Boo!

Donner: We’ll try that again, shall we? Hip, hip...

Liesl & Chorus: [With audience] Boo!

Blitzen: Once more with feeling! Hip, hip...

Liesl & Chorus: [Louder still] Boo!

[ Countess Vampira enters from U.S.L. and glares at Hans, Liesl and the Chorus. ]

Vampira: Revolting peasants! You dare to insult me! Do you know who I am?

Liesl: [Cheekily] Go on, surprise us!

Vampira: I am Vampira, Countess and Ruler of all Transylvania!

Liesl: No, you’re not! Count Vladimir is our rightful ruler!

Vampira: Not until the stroke of midnight he isn’t, and then Fate has a little surprise in store for him! Besides, my son is dutiful and does as Mummy tells him and if I tell him that I’m in charge around here, I jolly well am!

Liesl: Oh, no, you’re not!

Vampira: Oh, yes, I am!

Liesl & Chorus: [With audience] Oh, no, you’re not!

Vampira: [To Liesl] You dare to defy me! What is your name?


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Hans: [Anxiously] Don’t tell her, Liesl!

Vampira: Liesl? [To Hans] Thank you!

Liesl: I’m not afraid of you!

Vampira: Silence! Donner! Blitzen! You know the plot, jump to it!

[ Donner and Blitzen jump comically to attention. Vampira waits... ]

Vampira: [To Blitzen] Have you got the scrolls?

Blitzen: No, Ma’am, I always walk like this!

[ Percussion SFX. ]

Vampira: Well?

Donner: [Politely] Very well, thank you, Ma’am!

Vampira: [Exasperated] A question - what were you two before you entered my service?

D & B: [Heartfelt aside] Happy!

Vampira: You were nothing! A hapless pair of no-hopers, but I foolishly thought I could make something of you, so I made you my Henchmen - and what are you now? You’re hapless, hopeless Henchmen!

Donner: We all make mistakes!

Blitzen: Yes! You weren’t to know we’d turn out like that!

Vampira: Ach! Knowing what a dismal duo you are, I wrote down my incredibly brilliant master plan to dominate the entire Human race and subjugate all to a life of abject terror and misery, yes?

Blitzen: If you say so!

Vampira: I just did! Good! Now listen very carefully...

D & B: [Brightly] For you will say this only once?

Vampira: And then I will lose my temper! Why did you not carry out my instructions to the very letter?

Donner: Which letter?


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Vampira: [Brandishing large scroll] This letter!

Blitzen: Ah! That letter!

Vampira: The very one! So tell me, who is to blame?

Donner: [Innocently] The blithering idiot who forgot to post the letter?

[ Percussion SFX. ]

Vampira: Precisely, the blithering... [Double-takes] What did you say?

Blitzen: [Helpfully] She said the...

Vampira: [Shortly] I know what she said!

Blitzen: But...

Vampira: But me no buts, it sets my teeth on edge! [Nastily] And you know what happens when I get the toothache, don’t you?

D & B: [Nodding] We know what happens when...

[ They stop, look at one another, shrug then reply, shaking their heads. ]

D & B: Er, no, we don’t actually...

Vampira: [Menacingly] I need...

Donner: An aspirin?

Vampira: No! A blood transfusion!

D & B: Urgh! You must be joking!

Vampira: I must? [Moving D.C.S. ] All right! I say! I say! I say! Where do Vampyrs keep their savings?

D & B: We don’t know - where do Vampyrs keep their savings?

Vampira: In the Blood Bank!

[ Percussion SFX. ]

Vampira: [Changing subject] As you all know, today is my son’s birthday...

D & B: [Breaking into song/dance] Twenty-one today! Twenty-one today!


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D & B: Never been twenty-one before, Now he’s got the key to the door!

Vampira: [Drily] Thank you! In celebration, I have planned a little surprise for Vladimir...

Donner: Is it a party? I love parties! With jelly and cakes and ice cream!

Blitzen: And balloons and musical chairs and pass the parcel and...

Vampira: [Cutting in] It’s not a party!

D & B: [Disappointed] Ooooh!

Vampira: And it’s a secret!

D & B: You’re not going to tell us what it is, then?

Vampira: Correct! And what is more, the surprise is so secret that I’m going to make sure that no slack-tongued, dim-witted, tittle-tattling village clodpole mentions it to the Count, either! I declare a curfew!

Donner: Bless you!

Vampira: [Crossly] A Curfew! A Curfew!

Blitzen: [Cheerily] All fall down!

[ Percussion SFX as Blitzen falls backwards into Donner’s arms. ]

Vampira: [Exasperated] What are you doing down there? No! Don’t tell me!

Blitzen: [Cheerily] Getting up!

Vampira: [Aside] How did I know he’d say that? Now pay attention! All of you! [To audience] And that includes the riff raff out there! Anyone found wandering the streets after the hour of darkness will be arrested and incarcerated in the dark, dank, dismal dungeons of Castle Dracul! You can all stay home and go to bed early with a good book!

Donner: My favourite’s Count Duckula!*

Vampira: We don’t wish to know that! Now, get back to your hovels!

Chorus: Boo!

Liesl: You can’t order us about like this!


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Vampira: I can and will! Stay out late at your peril, for at dusk my faithful Vampyr Bat, Fang, will be released to roam the night skies!

[ Vampira exits L. laughing wildly, followed by Donner and Blitzen. ]

Hans: It is nearly dark, return to your homes, put up the shutters and bar the doors!

[ The Chorus exit. Hans and Liesl move C.S. ]

Liesl: Father, we must help Vladimir! Hans: He is a good-hearted lad, but we cannot help him if we are arrested for breaking the curfew. Come inside Liesl for the sun is setting! [ Hans and Liesl exit into the Inn. ]

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Scene 2: Outside the Tomb With A View Inn __________________________________________________________________________________________[ FX Pyroflash and FX Mirror Ball as the Tooth Fairy enters from R. ]

Tooth Fairy: Do not despair dear friends, All hope is not yet lost; For tho’ Vampira plots and plans I’ll show her who’s the boss! ’Tis true Count Vladimir may find, He’s in a spot of bother, But his ma has reckoned without the aid, Of Floss, his Fairy Godmother! The travellers approaching here, Have journeyed from a far-off land; Sir Toby and his daughter fair Shall help me thwart Vampira’s plans; For tho’ the Countess means perchance To end Vlad’s hope of sweet romance, Fair Crystal will his true love be, And all end very happily! [ Tooth Fairy exits R. as Sir Toby Jugg enters L. with Crystal, and Bertie Boots. Sir Toby carries a portmanteau. ]

Sir Toby: This way Crystal, my dear! This way!

Crystal: Father, when you promised me a Grand Tour of the most exclusive watering holes in Europe, I didn’t think you meant The Harrows, North Hykeham.*


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Boots: The Ferry Boat, Dover...

Crystal: The Frog’s Leg, Calais...

Boots: [Sings] And The Mouse in the Windmill in Old Amsterdam!

Sir Toby: But Crystal, my dear, this tour comes highly recommended.

Crystal: By whom?

Sir Toby: [Brandishing a Guidebook] The Good Beer Guide!

Crystal: [Romantically] I thought exclusive meant the French Riviera, Monte Carlo...

Boots: [Aside] Or Bust!

[ Hans & and Liesl enter from the Inn and stand watching. ]

Sir Toby: But I have saved the very best till last! This quaint Transylvanian hostelry was awarded the Toper’s Tankard three years running!

Hans: [Proudly] It is true! I, Hans Von Spentall, have won the Licensed Victualler’s 100 metres Egg and Spoon Race three years in a row! [He bows] Welcome to The Tomb With A View, Gravesend!

B’ts, Toby, Cryst.: Gravesend?

Hans: Loosely translated. Literally: The final resting place, high on the hill, of our ancient and revered forefathers, overlooking the place where they toiled before they upped and left us!

B’ts, Toby & Cryst.: [Blankly] Ah!

Hans: I welcome you from the very bottom of my purse, with open arms...

Liesl: [Pointedly] Open till!

[ SFX Cash Till opening/closing. ]

Sir Toby: [Eagerly] Open till when?

Liesl: We are open all hours, dawn till dusk, 365 days of the year.

Hans: Except for Friday the Thirteenth, once every hundred years!

Liesl: [Brightly] Which just happens to be today!


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Boots: And what happens today?

Hans: Nothing! We are closed! Good day to you!

[ Hans, Liesl & Chorus turn to exit. Hans and Liesl turn back as Sir Toby speaks. ]

Sir Toby: But I say... I say...

Hans: What do you say?

Sir Toby: Why are you closed?

Hans: Because of the curfew!

B’ts, Toby & Cryst.: Bless you!

Hans: [Dramatically] There is an ancient legend in our land: Once every hundred years on Friday the Thirteenth, as the moon reaches its zenith, the clock strikes midnight...

[ SFX Cuckoo Clock begins to strike the hour, but is rapidly interrupted by SFX Gunshot followed by SFX Squawk. ]

Hans: And... [He breaks off]

B’ts, Toby & Cryst.: [In suspense] Yes!

Hans: It is too horrible for words...

B’ts, Toby & Cryst.: No!

Hans: [Hurt] It is, I assure you!

Liesl: Oh, it’s just a silly story: As the clock strikes midnight...

[ Comedy SFX Broken Clock strikes once. ]

Liesl: And a lone wolf howls in the wood...

[ SFX Wolf howls twice. ]

Boots: Like that?

Hans: Yes, just like that! [Double-takes] Aah! We are all doomed! Thrice doomed!

Liesl: That was twice doomed, Father!


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Hans: [Lugubriously] Third time unlucky!

Boots: That’s no wolf, it’s Baskerville!

[ Incidental music: ____________________. Baskerville bounds on from L. ]

Liesl: Oh, but he’s lovely!

[ Baskerville waves a paw at the audience, then runs to Liesl and gives his paw to her. ]

Boots: He likes you - he doesn’t shake paws with just anyone.

Sir Toby: Splendid animal, he’s a fully fledged Vampyr Hound! Trained him myself! Would you like to see Baskerville do his tricks, boys and girls? [Ad-lib for audience response] Baskerville sit!

[ Baskerville ignores this and chases his tail round and round. ]

Sir Toby: Ah! Baskerville, stay!

[ Baskerville runs to Liesl and hides behind her, peeping round at Sir Toby. ]

Sir Toby: Hahhmmm! This never fails! Baskerville, fetch!

[ Sir Toby throws a large rubber bone offstage, Baskerville promptly lies down. ]

Sir Toby: [Weakly] Of course, he’s just a puppy!

Hans: Good Sir, it is not safe for us to be out of doors, a curfew is in force and we could be arrested! Step inside and partake of some refreshment.

Sir Toby: Excellent idea, Landlord! I am Sir Toby Jugg, this is my daughter, Crystal ...

Hans: [Bowing over Crystal’s hand] Pleased to meet you, Miss.

Sir Toby: And Bertram Boots, my Valet!

Boots: [Cheekily kisses Liesl’s hand] Pleased to meet you, Miss!

Hans: This way, my Lord!

Sir Toby: Come along, Baskerville, heel!

[ Hans leads Sir Toby, Crystal and Boots offstage. Baskerville waves a paw to the audience, then scampers after the others. Blackout. ]


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ACT 2Scene 1: The Turret Room in the Old East Wing__________________________________________________________________________________________[ Curtains open on swirling mists, and a starlit sky. Fantastic dance routine, with dancers costumed as Vampyrs/Bats: ____________________. Vampira enters from L., the Dancers run to her and bow deeply. ]

Vampira: Farewell, my Creatures of the Night, Spread your wings, begone; Keep your tryst at Midnight’s hour With Dracula, my Son. Then you shall feast your fill once more, Upon the nectar you most crave, And walk the moonlit earth again, Set free from your cold graves! Ha, ha, ha!

[ The Dancers exit; lights fade-up on Turret Room set U.S. behind gauze to reveal Crystal. ]

Vampira: How sweet she looks, a tender flower Who yearns for Love’s embrace; Dream as you may, you’ll not escape, You’re trapped within this place! I’ve cast a powerful spell, my dear, And none shall break the charm, No mortal man may enter here Without he come to harm! Crystal: Why are you doing this?

Vampira: For the honour of the Draculs! For power! And most of all, because I enjoy being evil! You English girls are all so goody-goody; believe me, bad girls have all the fun!

This Golden Key shall seal the door, And hold you fast within, Now I must away, excuse me, for The banquet soon begins!

[ Vampira sweeps off L. ]


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Scene 2: The Honeymoon Suite, Castle Dracul__________________________________________________________________________________________[ Stage set with practical door, flanked by two plain flats; paste table, stepladder, buckets with paste and water, brushes. Donner & Blitzen enter cheerily whistling, dressed in overalls. ]

Blitzen: I don’t get it - what’s with all the spring-cleaning and decorating?

Donner: Doh! It’s obvious...

Blitzen: Not to me it isn’t!

Donner: This is the Honeymoon Suite...

Blitzen: Am I still missing something?

Donner: By a mile! If the Countess has her wicked way, it’ll be love at first bite!

Blitzen: You don’t mean... Sir Toby...? She’s playing for high stakes with an English Lord! Didn’t she see his dog - it’s a trained Vampyr Hound!

[ The Countess Vampira enters L. ]

Donner: Look out, she’s coming this way.

[ Donner grabs a brush and Blitzen prepares to do battle with a roll of wallpaper. ]

D & B: Afternoon, Ma’am!

Vampira: [Doubletakes] What! Donner! Blitzen! I thought I told you two to guard the East Wing? Where are the decorators?

D & B: Ah! Well... It’s a very, very long story...

Vampira: And I’ve got a very, very short temper! An explanation - at the double!

Donner: Well, you see, it’s like this...

Blitzen: Like this!

Donner: We booked the decorators on an early flight...

Blitzen: Early flight...

Donner: But what with the rolling fog...


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Blitzen: Rolling fog...

Vampira: Rolling fog?

Donner: And the full moon...

Blitzen: Full moon...

Vampira: Full moon?

Donner: Not to mention the queues at the DIY checkout on a Saturday morning...

Blitzen: Queues on a...

Vampira: Saturday... Stop! [Exasperated] What do you think you’re doing?

Donner: We’re explaining! Blitzen: Explaining!

D & B: At the double!

[ Percussion SFX. ]

Vampira: Ach! You’ll have to do! Have you worked as decorators before?

Blitzen: You name it, we can do it!

Vampira: Very well! I should like a beautiful baroque boudoir: soft drapes, Botticelli angels on the ceiling, golden gilding to the cornices and a seductive colour scheme - can you do that?

Donner: Soft drapes?

Blitzen: Golden gilding?

Donner: Botticelli angels...

Blitzen: And a seductive colour scheme?

Vampira: Yes, yes!

D & B: No, no!

Vampira: No, no?

Donner: We’re right out of drapes...


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Blitzen: The ladder won’t reach the cornices...

Donner: Let alone the ceiling!

D & B: And the only paint we have is black!

Vampira: [Shortly] You said if I named it, you could do it!

Blitzen: We can!

Donner: But you haven’t named it yet!

[ Percussion SFX. ]

Vampira: Doh! What do I pay you for?

D & B: You don’t!

Vampira: A minor detail! [Menacingly] It is time I released Fang for his evening flight, I suggest you make a start on the wallpapering!

D & B: Ooh-er! Yes, Countess! Anything to oblige, Countess!

[ Vampira exits R. ]

Donner: Right! Where do we start?

Blitzen: You get painting, I’ll do the paper!

[ Music plays throughout comedy slapstick routine. Donner picks up a brush, then watches fascinated as Blitzen unrolls the wallpaper; he reaches for a brush and lets go of the paper so that it rolls up again. He repeats this, fails again and, getting cross, lifts his foot onto table to secure one end of paper, knocking the brush to the floor as he does so. ]

Blitzen: Donner! Help!

Donner: What shall I do?

Blitzen: You hold it, I’ll paste it!

[ Donner hands Blitzen the brush and holds end of paper down, Blitzen slaps paste along the length of wallpaper, then picks the paper up and climbs the ladder, treading on the paper as he goes. He triumphantly pastes the remaining small piece across the door. ]

Donner: Oh, look at that! We need another bit!

[ Donner rolls out another piece of paper and holds it as Blitzen pastes its length, he fails to stop as he reaches her and ‘pastes’ her liberally. ]


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Donner: [Furious] You did that on purpose!

Blitzen: Oh, no, I didn’t!

Donner: Oh, yes, you did!

[ Donner picks up a brush, working ‘Shall I’ gag, dips it in the paste and is about to ‘paste’ Blitzen when SFX Bat screech followed by SFX Thunder and lightning ]

Donner: [Dropping brush] Ooooh! What was that?

Blitzen: Sounds like Fang on his night patrol - let’s get this job done before the Countess gets back...

[ D & B work at speed, slapping paste onto paper. As Blitzen climbs the ladder, Donner moves the paste bucket so that Blitzen steps straight into it as he comes back down the ladder. ]

Donner: Ha ha! Now you’ve put your foot in it!

Blitzen: You asked for it this time...

[ Donner & Blitzen seize buckets, one containing paper, one water; chase: concluding with paper being thrown over the audience. Vampira enters through the wallpapered door. Blitzen dodges behind her, she steps smartly aside as Donner throws water at him. ]

Vampira: [Icily] Have you quite finished?

Donner: [Looking around] I’d say so... What do you think?

Vampira: [Surveying the wreckage] What do I think? I think you both deserve a medal!

[ The Countess picks up two brushes dipping them into the paint bucket. ]

D & B: She likes it! A medal!

Vampira: Oh, yes! [Emphatically as she ‘paints’ the two henchmen] You should both be... decorated! I loathe it! Get this mess cleared away and report to the Banqueting Hall - at the double!

D & B: Yes, Ma’am. Right away Ma’am...

[ Donner & Blitzen exit R.. Vampira turns to the audience. ]

Vampira: The sun is set, the moon rides high, On the bat’s back I shall fly,


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Vampira: Merrily... With dark ambition burning, Be warned! This lady’s not for turning! [ Vampira exits swiftly L. ] __________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 8: The Grand Ballroom, Castle Dracul__________________________________________________________________________________________[ Dracula enters from R. with the Tooth Fairy. ]

Dracula: The sky is so beautiful tonight, the stars are like diamonds, yet I feel darkness all around me. I remember another night like this... As a child I awoke one night, afraid of the shadows cast by the moon, and a voice seemed to whisper to me: Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight, Wish I may, wish I might Have this wish I wish tonight.

Dracula: I made a wish on the Evening star and I didn’t feel afraid anymore...

Tooth Fairy: Make your wish, Vladimir, be true to yourself and you need have no fear.

[ Tooth Fairy exits R. SFX Comedy fanfare and Donner & Blitzen run on from L. ]

Donner: Your guests are arriving, Count Vladimir!

Dracula: Announce them! Let the party begin!

[ Chorus enter excitedly as Blitzen announces guests ‘Music Hall’ style. Liesl and Boots enter from L. ]

Blitzen: My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen! I am honoured to announce the vivacious, voluptuous and very delightful Miss Liesl Von Spentall!

Donner: All the way from England, a gentleman’s Gentleman, distinguished by his courageous acts of derring-do, Bertram Boots Esquire!

Blitzen: Now let’s welcome a lady guaranteed to raise your temperature - and make you take your medicine like a good boy should! No longer a near-miss, but a resounding hit! Ms. Flora Bundy...

Donner: From the Gravesend Chamber of Commerce, Transylvanian Publicans’ Athletics Champion and Bon Viveur, Herr Hans Von Spentall.

[ Flora and Hans enter from L. as they are announced. Sir Toby follows them on. Dracula moves across to greet him and bows formally. ]


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Blitzen: Baron Tobias Jugg!

Dracula: An honour, Sir!

Sir Toby: [Bowing] Count Vladimir! Have you seen my daughter? I seem to have mislaid her...

Dracula: I was hoping she was with you...

[ SFX Dramatic Gong and Vampira enters U.S.L. ]

Liesl: Countess Vampira!

[ Boots moves to confront Vampira. ]

Vampira: Stand aside, varlet!

Boots: Over my dead body!Vampira: That could be arranged! [To Dracula] So, my son, you defy me? What of the honour of the Draculs?

Dracula: [Boldly] There is no honour in the life my ancestors chose. I intend to break the family curse, even if I must give my life to do so!

Liesl: Don’t give-in, Vladimir!

Hans: We are here for you, Count Dracula!

Vampira: So young and so foolish...

Dracula: So young, my Lady and true of heart! I have until midnight - whatever happens, it’s my party... Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, I bid you welcome!

D & B: We give you: Vlad and the Vampettes!

[ Song: ____________________. Dracula backed by comedy singing trio or Donner & Blitzen. As the song closes, fade in SFX Heartbeat, then SFX Clock striking midnight. Snap in a red spot on Dracula, which pulses in time to the heartbeat. Dracula reacts as if undergoing a transformation. Around the third chime, Baskerville runs on from R., followed by Crystal. ]

Boots: Baskerville!

[ Vampira moves to seize Crystal, but Baskerville bars her way. ]

Flora: Miss Crystal!


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Crystal: Vladimir!

Vampira: Curses!

Dracula: [Turning to her] Crystal! Leave me! I am changing...

Crystal: Never! I love you!

[ Instantly SFX Heartbeat ceases, red light snaps out. FX as Tooth Fairy enters R. ]

Tooth Fairy: The legend ends - the curse is broken, For freely a maid of true love has spoken! Dracula: Crystal, you are my wish come true! Will you be my bride?

Crystal: Yes, Vladimir, I will!

[ The company cheer. Vampira suddenly exclaims and holds out her hand in horror: on it a pair of comedy chattering teeth. ]

Vampira: Aaaah! What is this?

Boots: I’d say it was fangs for the memory!

[ Percussion SFX. Vampira exits swiftly R. ]

Liesl: Oh, Bertie! Will I ever get used to the English sense of humour! Father, did I tell you? Bertie has asked me to marry him!

Boots: With your permission, Sir?

Hans: I am delighted! And I too have a special announcement to make!

Liesl: You have, Father?

Hans: I have, Liesl. Miss Flora has honoured me with her hand in marriage!

[ Sir Toby has moved aside and is looking downcast. Crystal moves to him. ]

Crystal: Father?

Sir Toby: It is nothing, Crystal - I wish you all great happiness...

[ Sir Toby is about to exit as Vampira enters from R. ]

Vampira: Sir Toby! Is it too late for us? [She sings]


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Falling in love again, nothing I can do, Never wanted to...

Company: [Singing] She can’t help it!

Sir Toby: Vampira, my dearest love!

[ Sir Toby kisses Vampira’s hand. The Tooth Fairy smiles and steps forward. ] Tooth Fairy: Thus ends our tale, I’ve played my part - All shall live happily! The moral’s clear, Follow your heart, And Love will set you free! Dracula: We thank you all for coming,

D & B: Hope you enjoyed the fun!

Flora: And now it’s time to say:

Company: Goodnight!

Flora: From each and every one!

Finalé


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Also by Peta Duncombe:

AladdinThe classic family panto. with a cast of well-loved characters

Robin Hood the Panto!A madcap medieval romp, set in Sherwood Forest

The Snow Queen“A delightful family pantomime - quite enchanting”

Anne Key-Huckerby NODA

Treasure Island the Panto!Shiver me timbers! A swashbuckling adventure a’vast the high seas!

CinderellaThe all-time favourite family pantomime.

The Miaowvellous Tale of Puss in BootsA fabulous pantomime set in fairytale France.

It’s the Cat’s Whiskers!

Wild West the Panto!Yeeha! A toe tappin’, rib ticklin’ showdown at the hoedown!

Contact:PYP Playscripts & Pantomimes

2, Otter’s Cottagesoff Newark Road

LincolnLN5 8NF

01522 529844 [email protected]


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Suggestions for Musical Numbers

A licence issued by Pepper’s Yard Playscripts & Pantomimes to perform this play does NOT include permission to use any copyright music within the production and appropriate permissions must be sought from the copyright holder.

ACT 1

Scene Page Music/Song Character Overture Scene 1 3 Things That Go Bump In The Night Hans, Liesl, Drac. & Allstars [2001] Company OR Thriller Michael Jackson © Rondor Music [London] Ltd [1982]

Scene 2 11 How Much Is That Doggie... Incidental Music Bob Merrill [1953] Scene 3 15 You’re the One that I Want Flora & Hans John Farrar © Stigwood Music Ltd. [1978] Grease 20th Anniversary isbn 1-85900-977-7 Scene 4 22 Morning Incidental Music Grieg Peer Gynt Suite I OR Unchained Melody Hy Zaret / Alex North © Frank Music Corp. USA [1955] Scene 4 22 Blue Moon Dracula & Crystal Lorenz Hart / Richard Rodgers © Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer Inc. [1934]

Scene 6 25 One Way Or Another Countess Vampira Deborah Harry / Nigel Harrison © Chrysalis Music [1978] Where Are They Now 80’s Era isbn 0-7692-9263-1 OR I Want To Be Evil Raymond Taylor / Lester Judson © Duchess Music Corporation New York


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Scene 6 30 All By Yourself in the Moonlight Dame, Hans & Jay Wallace Company © Campbell, Connelly & Co. Ltd [1928]

ACT 2

Scene 1 33 The Aquarium OR Danse Macabre Dance Saint-Saens Scene 3 37 Somewhere, Out There Crystal & Dracula James Horner / Barry Mann / Cynthia Weil © MCA Music Ltd [1986]

Scene 3 40 Mission Impossible Lalo Schifrin © Bruin Music Co. [1967] Great Songs of the Nineties Hal Leonard isbn 0-7119-6416-5 Scene 4 41 The Fossils Dance Saint-Saens Carnival of the Animals

Scene 5 44 Under the Moon of Love Bertie & Liesl Tommy Boyce / Curtis Lee OR I Only Wanna Be With You Mike Hawker/Ivor Raymonde [1953]

Scene 5 46 Hey, Baby Flora & Hans Bruce Channel / Margaret Cobb © EMI Ltd [1962] Smash Hits Spring 2002 IMP isbn 1-84328-198-8

Scene 6 50 Funeral March Incidental Music Scene 6 50 Falling In Love Again Countess Vampira Friedrich Hollander / Reg Connelly [English Lyrics] © Ufaton-Verlag GmbH / Campbell, Connelly & Co. [1930]

Scene 8 56 Rock Around the Clock Dracula & Company Max C. Freedman / Jimmy De Knight © Myers Music Ltd.

Scene 8 57 Falling In Love Again Countess Vampira [Reprise]

Finale


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Properties PlotACT 1

Scene Page Prop. Character

Prologue 2 Golden Key Vampira

2 Wand Tooth Fairy

Scene 1 SET: Inn Sign 3 Tray of Drinks Dracula

5 Large Scroll Vampira

Scene 2 8 Toothbrush Wand Tooth Fairy ‘Fairy Dust’ - glitter Tooth Fairy

9 Portmanteau, in it: Sir Toby Good Beer Guide Rubber Bone

Scene 3 12 Luggage Trolley customised with Flora ‘L’ plates, headlights; on it: Various cases with bright travel stickers Large Handbag, in it: Hand Mirror, British Passport, Phrase Book

13 Lantern Hans

Scene 4 STRIKE: Inn Sign Inn Sign 17 Basket, in it: Dracula Invitations, Folded handkerchief with hole in middle Folded handkerchief, wringing wet!

21 Toothbrush Wand Tooth Fairy ‘Fairy Dust’ - glitter Tooth Fairy

Scene 5 25 Toothbrush Wand Tooth Fairy

Scene 6 SET: Warming pan on bed 25 Golden Key Vampira Mace Donner Double-headed Axe Blitzen


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Scene 6 26 Practical Candlestick Flora Hot Water Bottle, labelled ‘Gin’ Flora ‘Garlic Pearles’ Necklace Flora 27 Cuddly Teddy Bear BaskervilleACT 2 Scene Page Prop. Character

Scene 1 33 Golden Key Vampira

Scene 2 SET: Practical door flat, paste table, stepladder, 33 bucket with ‘paste’, bucket with ‘paint’, bucket with shredded paper, rolls of wallpaper, brushes.

34 Golden Key Vampira Scene 2 37 Toothbrush Wand Tooth Fairy

Scene 4 SET: Long table, 4 chairs/bench. Dancers 41 Tablecloth, candelabra, platters of food, menu.

43 Large platter with ‘bomb’ and food cover Liesl

Scene 5 44 Handbag, in it: Flora Party invitation, ‘Love Elixir’, spoon

Scene 6 47 Cuckoo Call Whistle Donner 47 Duck Call Whistle Blitzen

48 Golden Key Vampira

51 Toothbrush Wand Tooth Fairy

Scene 7 52 Golden Key Baskerville

52 Toothbrush Wand Tooth Fairy

56 Clockwork Teeth Vampira


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Effects Plot

Note: If you have a live band, the keyboard player and drummer are worth their weight ingold; live SFX are brilliant for pantomime! Failing that, BBC and EMI SFX C.D.’s are a good source of sound effects, or SFX can be downloaded from the internet.

ACT 1 Scene Page Cue FX/SFX Prologue 2 Overture fades FX Pyroflash for Vampira’s entrance Optional SFX ‘Dracula‘ Theme Music Prologue 2 Vamp: “...the power behind the throne!” FX Pyroflash, Mirror Ball & SFX Glissando for Tooth Fairy’s entrance

Scene 1 4 Liesl: “... The Clock strikes midnight!” SFX Cuckoo Clock strikes 12

Scene 1 4 Hans: “... wolf howls in the wood!” SFX Wolf howling

Scene 1 4 Dracula: “... be sure of that, Liesl.” SFX Comedy Fanfare

Scene 2 8 Hans and Liesl exit into the Inn FX Pyroflash & Mirror Ball for Tooth Fairy’s entrance

Scene 2 10 Liesl: “Open till!” SFX Cash Till

Scene 2 10 Hans: “There is ... strikes midnight!” SFX Cuckoo Clock begins to strike the hour, SFX Gunshot SFX Squawk

Scene 2 10 Liesl: “Oh, it’s ... strikes midnight!” SFX Broken Clock

Scene 2 11 Liesl: “And a ... howls in the wood!” SFX Wolf howls twice

Scene 3 12 Sir Toby: “Come along... heel!” Company exit SFX Car Chase & Crash & Police Siren

Scene 3 16 Hans & Liesl: “...Castle Dracul!” SFX Dramatic Chords


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Scene 3 16 Hans: “I wouldn’t... Friday the Thirteenth.” SFX Sinister Chords Scene 4 20 Crystal: “Oh, dear ... Excuse me!” SFX Magical Love

Scene 4 21 Dracula: “My name...at the inn.” FX Mirror Ball SFX Glissando for Tooth Fairy’s entrance

Scene 4 22 Close of duet SFX Bell Tolling

Scene 5 23 Vampira: “...Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!” SFX Doorbell followed by SFX Knocking

Scene 5 23 Vampira: “There’s a ... go away!” SFX Alarm siren Scene 6 25 Vampira: “... guest wing I’ll be gone!” FX Mirror Ball for Tooth Fairy’s entrance

Scene 6 25 Tooth Fairy exits SFX Thunder & Lightning

Scene 6 25 Vampira: “... form from sight!” SFX Eerie Music

Scene 6 26 Flora enters SFX Door creaking

Scene 6 26 Vampira: “Yodel ... to get you” Echo on Vampira’s voice

Scene 6 26 Flora: “... down my thingummy” SFX Eerie Wind

Scene 6 27 Flora: “... talk to myself like that!” SFX Knock on Door

Scene 6 28 Vampira: “... strong a pong!” SFX Fireplace revolve

Scene 6 29 Flora: “... heard this one before!” SFX Knock on Door Scene 6 30 Vampira: “... his English Rose!” SFX Fireplace revolve

Scene 6 31 All: “Oh, well, we’ll ... again then!” SFX Fireplace revolve

Scene 6 31 Bertie “Ooooh-er!” SFX Fireplace revolve

Scene 6 32 Vampira: “As a Bride of Dracula!” FX Pyroflash


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ACT 2 Scene Page Cue FX/SFX

Scene 2 36 Donner: “Oh, yes, you did!” SFX Bat screech, followed by SFX Thunder & Lightning

Scene 3 37 Dracula: “If only ... find her again!” FX Pyroflash & Mirror Ball for Tooth Fairy’s entrance

Scene 3 39 Donner: “The clock strikes midnight!” SFX Comedy Clock strikes

Scene 3 39/40 Blitzen: “And a ... in the wood.” SFX Wolf howling, SFX Gunshot, SFX Yelp

Scene 4 43 Boots: “Quick, Liesl, scarper! FX Pyroflash with SFX Explosion Optional strobe FX for chase

Scene 6 50 Sir Toby: “Apologies ... heart on it!” SFX Strange chords

Scene 6 50 Sir Toby: “Countess ... be cross...” SFX Strange chords

Scene 6 51 Donner: “To save ... master brave!” FX Pyroflash & Mirror Ball for Tooth Fairy’s entrance Scene 6 51 As Tooth Fairy speaks SFX Star Trek theme

Scene 7 52 Crystal: “Midnight ... is that sound?” SFX Door creaks open

Scene 7 52 Crystal: “The Golden ... to my rescue!” FX Mirror Ball for Tooth Fairy’s entrance

Scene 7 52 Tooth Fairy exits SFX Sinister Music

Scene 7 54 Tooth Fairy: “To set my Godson free!” SFX Fairy Glissando

Scene 8 54 Tooth Fairy: “Make your ... no fear.” SFX Comedy Fanfare

Scene 8 55 Dracula: “I was hoping ... with you.” SFX Dramatic Gong


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Scene 8 56 As musical number fades SFX Heartbeat, then SFX Clock chiming

Scene 8 56 Crystal: “Never! I love you! FX Pyroflash & Mirror Ball for Tooth Fairy’s entrance


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Documents

Dracula the Panto! - Pantomimes from PYP Home Page_files/PYP... · Count Vladimir Dracula XIII! Her Son, a reluctant Vampyr ... !And balloons and musical chairs and pass the parcel