ELA/Literacy Released Item 2015

Grade 7 Conventions

Sample Student Responses(from all 3 released tasks)

Anchor Set A1 – A8

A1

CONV 3

Annotations

Anchor Paper 1 Conventions Score Point 3

The response demonstrates full command of the convention of standard English. A wide range of conventions, at grade-level complexity, is demonstrated, including underlining to indicate titles of works (The Georges and the Jewels [and] Black Beauty: The Autobiography of a Horse), commas following introductory elements (In the excerpts from The Georges and the Jewels and Black Beauty: The Autobiography of a Horse, [and] As previously mentioned, [and] Although similarities certainly are present in both excerpts, [and] In conclusion,), the use of parentheses to set off parenthetical elements, and pronouns in proper case (between a horse and his/her master).The student provides strong evidence of control of complicated sentence constructions (Although there are some similarities between the two texts and the manner in which the chosen view was utilized to develop characters, there are differences present as well), and elements in mechanics, including correct spelling (utilized, obvious, evident, previously, perceptible, intricate, misconceptions, vice versa, enlightenment), are intact.

A2

CONV 3

Georges and the Jewels is narrated by a girl who has been brought up around horses and she is taught to tame and ride them. Black Beauty: The Autobiography of a Horse is narrated by a horse, who describes his experience with his master, from "breaking" to becoming accustomed to his life. The authors of The Georges and the Jewels and Black Beauty: The Autobiography of a Horse use the first person point of view to develop the characters by giving the narrator's opinions to define their personality and showing how these opinions are affected by the envoirnment that surrounds them. The author developes the girl, Abby, by showing her passionate personality through first person narration that differs from her father's. "But when I woke up (and feeling much better, thank you), there she was, curled up next to me like a dog..." shows Abby's loving nature. This is conveyed through first person because it gives the reader a glimpse on her thoughts and reactions to the occurences given in the passage. "I started riding when I was three. I started traning horses for my dad when I was eight... Daddy tells me that horses only know two things, the carrot and the stick, and not to fill my head with silly ideas about them." Because the passage is narrated through first person, the reader can also see how the narrater is affected by her enviornment and growth. The passage gives us some background information about Abby through her memories of always growing up with horses and having been around them since a young age. In this way, the author also develops her character, Abby, by then showing that she had grown to think that horses had emotions and how her father thinks that they are more simple animals. Similarly, the horse from Black Beauty: The Autobiography of a Horse is developed by the author's technique of first person narration with the horse's own opinions and how they are affected by her home. For example, the horse gives his/her thoughts on wearing all the riding gear: "Those who have never had a bit in their mouths cannot think how bad it feels; a great piece of cold hard steel as thick as a man's finger to be pushed into one's mouth..." From these internal thoughts of the horse that are given when written in first person point of view, we know that the horse disliked being saddled, which can also show her personality. Her character is also developed through her past, and like Abby, her present opinions can be shown by the first person point of view. "It certainly did feel queer; but I must say I felt rather proud to carry my master, and as he continued to ride me a little every day I soon became accustomed to it." In these thoughts of the horse, given through the first person technique that the author uses, it also shows that the horse had been living with his owner for a length of time. First person shows the horse's love to be noticed and how, although it felt bad, he/she was glad to be ridden. In both George and the Jewels and Black Beauty: The Autobiography of a Horse the author developes the main character by using first person point of view to show the character's personality through opinions and how the character lived their life -where they lived, how they were brought up, and what they did on a regular basis. Many of the paragraphs per passage were devoted to the character's first person point of view, rather than the external world (dialogue and actions) and it gives the reader a clear image of what the character is like.

Annotations

Anchor Paper 2 Conventions Score Point 3 The response includes no significant convention errors and meaning is clear throughout, despite a few misspellings (envoirnment, developes, occurences, traning, narrater). Although multiple quotes from the passages lessen the amount of the student’s own writing, the quotes are, for the most part, correctly incorporated in terms of punctuation. The response includes the use of upper-level punctuation such as colons and ellipses (In this way, the author also develops her character, Abby, by then showing that she had grown to think that horse had emotions and how her father think that they are more simple animals. . . . For example, the horse gives his/her thoughts on wearing all the riding gear: "Those who have never had a bit in their mouths cannot think how bad it feels), as well as grade–appropriate punctuation (i.e., commas following introductory elements and to set off appositives and the use of apostrophes in possessives). Additionally, control of complex sentence constructions is established (From these internal thoughts of the horse that are given when written in the first person point of view, we know that the horse dislikes being saddled, which can also show her personality. Her character is also developed through her past, and like Abby, her present opinions can be shown by the first person point of view). Overall, the response demonstrates full command of the conventions of standard English at an appropriate level of complexity.

A3

CONV 2

Annotations

Anchor Paper 3 Conventions Score Point 2

The response demonstrates some command of the conventions of standard English. In spite of an awkwardly constructed sentence (This information shows us that Abby was taught to learn this, to not think about them)and an erroneously placed comma as terminal punctuation (According to the tenth paragraph, “Daddy tells me that gorses only know two things, the carrot and the stick, and not to fill my head with silly ideas about them,”) most elements of mechanics are correct, including internal punctuation (In The Georges and the Jewels, our narrator, Abby, is first introduced). Meaning is generally clear throughout the response.

A4

CONV 2

Annotations

Anchor Paper 4 Conventions Score Point 2

The response demonstrates some command of the conventions of standard English at an appropriate level of complexity. Although there are errors in mechanics, including commas (While in the other excerpt[,] Georges and the Jewels[,] the narrator is the complete polar opposite) and capitalization (The characters develope Through, IN the other Excerpt The horse), which occasionally impede understanding, the student does use some internal punctuation correctly and meaning is generally clear (Also, in The Georges and the Jewels).

A5

CONV 1

Annotations

Anchor Paper 5 Conventions Score Point 1

The response has errors in spelling (behaivior), capitalization (titles), and grammar and usage (the story is from a girl’s point of view who rides the horse. Some advantages to this is that the girl can explain she seems to be acting from a side view. Some disadvantages to this . . . and only the horse can actually) that often impede meaning. Minor punctuation errors also persist (After all behaivior is more visible from the side). The combination of these errors and the brevity of the response result in a limited command of conventions at the appropriate level of complexity.

A6

In the passages the authers used different points of view.

From the passage Georges and the Jewels the auther made the point of view from the person who was riding the horse. In the story the narrator said "but if, right when you let up on the reins, youre horse put his head between his knees again and took off bucking, kicking higher and higher until he finally dropped you and went tearing off to the other side of the ring well, you might lie there, as i did, with the wind knocked out of you and think about how nice it would be not to get back on, because the horse is jusy dedicated to bucking you off". This shows the narrators point of view when she is on the horse and also how she feels about it. This shows that the auther made the point of view to be the person on the horse.

From the second passage black beautythe auther made the point of view from the horses perspective and how he feels when someone is riding him, and the eqipment on him. the passage states "Those who have never had a bit in there mouths cannot think how bad it feels. Between ones teeth, and over ones tounge, with the ends coming out of the corner of youre mouth, and held straps over youre head and under youre throat". This shows that the horse dosent like when they put the bit on them. Additionaly it says "At length one morning, my master got on my back and rode me around the meadow on the soft grass. But i must say i felt rather proud to carry my master, and as he continued to ride me a little every day i soon became accustomed to it". This shows that even though he dosent like some things about being riden on, there are good things he likes about being riden by people. This shows that the auther made it his point of view about being riden by someone instead of someone riding him point of view.

This shows how the authers used two different points of view to show how the horse felt and about how to the person riding the horse felt so you would know what each of them were thinking.

CONV 1

Annotations

Anchor Paper 6 Conventions Score Point 1

The response demonstrates limited command of the conventions of standard English. There is some use of correct punctuation (This shows that even though he dosent like some things about being riden on, there are good things he likes about being riden by people); however, multiple and frequent errors occur in spelling (auther, riden), capitalization (i), and punctuation, including use of commas (In the story[,] the narrator said) and apostrophes (narrators point of view, dosent). Also, titles and dialogue are not always formatted correctly.

A7

I think all three of the topics are the thrid person point of view so thatr means that the perspective of the reader will not change and I can tell that it is the thrid person point of view because in the story and the short movies it uses the words they he and she so thats how I can tell is the thrid person point of vief so to me that means that the readers point of view will not change

CONV 0

Annotations

Anchor Paper 7 Conventions Score Point 0

The response includes frequent and varied errors in spelling (third, thatr, vief), omitted punctuation, errors with apostrophes (thats), errors with terminal punctuation, a pattern of missing words, and a lack of sentence control that collectively impede understanding across the response.

A8

CONV 0

Annotations

Anchor Paper 8 Conventions Score Point 0

The response consists of a single sentence which is insufficient, resulting in a score of zero. No command of the conventions of standard English is demonstrated.