The Button

  Robert Johnston was not aware that he was anything special, and maybe he wasn’t. Maybe it was for his complete and utter normality that he was chosen. Maybe he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.    Whatever the reason, Robert Johnson now found himself in the most peculiar place. He was certain just a second ago he had been walking to work, impatiently pressing the button at the crosswalk, willing the sign to change to the walking man, when suddenly he wasn’t. Trying to get his bearings, he cautiously peered around.   It seemed he was in a room, completely empty and white, the size of which he was unsure, as it seemed huge and cavernous one moment and then uncomfortably small the next, almost as if it was pulsing in and out, like the beating of a heart.   He was surrounded by a group of figures that seemed to move like a group of jellyfish, long, fabric like figures that floated just above the ground, blowing in an invisible breeze. He didn’t say a word, he was too bewildered, too confused, and then the figures began to speak.

                   Well, speaking is the closest explanation for what they were doing, but it’s really not the right word as they seemed to be communicating directly to his head, more thought than voice.

   Robert Johnston, you have been Chosen, they whispered in unison. You are the only one who can make this choice, so listen carefully; we are the Forces. We have always observed you humans; let you work out your own problems-most of the time. They paused, and the room continued to pulse, keeping it’s even, relaxed pace though Robert’s own heart was beating faster by the minute.    Once every while there comes a threat to humanity that, unattended to, will lead to its destruction. We see that that threat is taken care of, but we must work through humans like you, Robert.    “What are you talking about?” Robert exclaimed, finally finding his voice, “What threat?” We see that if nothing changes, in approximately one hundred years a course of events will be set in place that will completely wipe out all humans on Earth, when this time comes, there will be no stopping the destruction, but now, changes can be made-the future is not definite-but only you can change it.

   “What do you mean, only me? What do I have to do?” Suddenly, a few paces in front of him there appeared an old fashioned, leather briefcase, Robert hesitantly approached it and picked it up, surprised with how heavy it was.   In this briefcase there is a black box with a red button. If you press this button, then you will begin a series of disasters that will eliminate approximately half the humans on earth-but save the human race as a whole. We cannot guarantee you or your family will survive the upcoming events if you choose this course of action.       So we give you this choice; press the button and save humanity now, or live your life in

peace and leave the earth to its fate.      “I don’t understand!” Robert could not seem to comprehend what was happening, and part of him was certain he was only dreaming. “Why do I have to make this choice?”    It is your responsibility. In your lifetime you must make your decision, They replied,  you have been Chosen.         With that Robert found himself back on the street corner where he had been waiting for the walking signal to turn, gasping for air and with the feeling of being woken from a very deep sleep. He may have been able to forget about the whole thing if it wasn’t for the old fashioned, brown leather briefcase now in his hand.   In a state of numb shock Robert continued on to work, following all of his usual habits without thinking. At times he would forget the strange events of the morning- thats how unreal they were to him, and wonder for a second why he felt so odd before being abruptly shocked with the news once again. It was in this state that Robert spent a restless night tossing and turning, the briefcase shoved unopened under his bed, as he couldn’t make himself get rid of it (though he very dearly wanted too) but couldn’t stand to look at it any longer.      It was halfway through the night when Robert made the decision to consult his friend Todd.  Todd was a man who was quite smart, but thought himself to be even smarter. He and Robert met in a philosophy class in college that Robert couldn’t stand and Todd couldn’t get enough of.    He was always telling Robert about his theories on life and death and things Robert just couldn’t get his head around. Robert considered Todd to be exactly the type of person who would love to have his new responsibility.    The next morning Robert got up the courage to look under his bed and found, to his disappointment, that the briefcase was still there. Wanting to confirm what was happening before he got anyone else involved, Robert cautiously unlatched the metal clasp and looked inside.   There sat a smallish black metal box, about the size of Robert’s outstretched hand, on which right in the middle sat a shiny plastic fire engine red button, covered with a clear plastic dome.

                     

   He observed that the dome could be lifted up in order to press the button and shuddered, pushing the briefcase once again under the bed.     With that Robert called up Todd and he drove over to catch up on things watch some game Robert really could not have cared less about. While the two were talking, Robert casually brought up their old college days and Todd began to reminisce. Seizing the opportunity, Robert reminded his friend about the old moral dilemmas they used to have to debate about in class. “You know, I just heard one the other day that reminded me of you.” he said, and then began to describe yesterday’s events, trying to make it sound like a hypothetical scenario.   Todd smiled, always eager to talk about these types of things. “Well, it depends on how you view life,” he began, “Do you believe that human life is all worth the same?”     “Well yeah,” Robert replied, “People shouldn’t be treated differently because of their race or their past of how much money they have.”    “If you believe that, then you have to push the button.” Todd said confidently, “If all life has equal worth, then you have to make the sacrifice if it means saving humanity as a whole-the needs of the many out way the needs of the few.”    “But- my family might not be saved from the disaster, I couldn’t sacrifice them!”        “Well then maybe all life isn’t equal.”Robert thought about that for a second. “It’s murder if a press that button and all those people die, is it murder if I do nothing? I’m just leaving humanity to its fate right?” he asked.   “You could look at it that way” Todd replied, “The one way, pressing the button, you make the conscious decision to kill someone-it's something you directly do. Choosing to not press the button is also a conscious choice, but the result is what would have happened anyway if didn’t have any control over the matter.” Todd paused to make sure Robert was still following him. “I guess what I’m saying is you have to decide if, since you have the ability to do something, something that would ultimately save the human race, are you obligated to do it even if it means pain to yourself or those you love?”   Robert realized this situation was much like the decision every great humanitarian and martyr had to make; if you see an injustice in the world that you believe must be fixed, is it then your responsibility to change it? Even if it means harm to you, or your family? Is that simply the price for a better world? If that is the case, Robert reasoned, then pressing the button would be an act of sacrifice, not murder, and choosing to make the sacrifice for the good of the world would make him a great hero, the greatest, above the constrictions of society’s rights and wrongs, who could make decisions that no one else would.     

    

   Robert’s inner dialogue was interrupted by Todd, “So what's the deal with this anyway? You used to hate these types of things.”    “Oh I don't know,” Robert replied, trying to act casual, “I guess I was just feeling nostalgic for the old days-who knows? Maybe I’ve finally become mature enough to contemplate the universe like you.”   Todd laughed, “Big chance of that.” he said, he was about to add something else when one of the refs made an inconceivably stupid call and he felt the need to angrily inform the T.V. about it. The conversation was dropped at that point, but Robert now had a lot to think about. He was previously sure there was no way he could be persuaded to even consider pressing that button, but now he could see it in a different light. Did he really believe that all life was equal? He wasn’t so sure; did he care more about the wellbeing of his family and friends than anything else? Did that make him less honorable, to care more about his family than the future of the world, or more? Todd had said that neglecting to push the button wasn’t exactly murder, but still a conscious decision to leave the human race for dead, and now Robert couldn’t stop wondering if that was just as bad.                                                           

     Robert was still deep in thought when Todd left, and he decided to pull out the black box to look at it, just to look, he promised himself. Robert felt the box in his hand, pondering its unusual heaviness, wondering to himself how this sort of thing even worked; did pressing the button somehow mechanically trigger the events, like setting off some sort of biological disease bomb? Or was it just a representation of his choice for the Forces to see, whatever sort of creatures they were, so they could begin the apocalypse?  As Robert was absent mindedly contemplating these things an errant thought flitted through his head, I wonder what would happen if I opened the dome. The dome being the clear plastic cover that was the only thing separating Robert’s hand from the menacing button.  Knowing it was a bad idea, but still unable to resist, Robert slowly raised up the cover, and without really meaning to, hovered his outstretched hand about an inch from the button. It was taunting him, daring him to make a choice.

                      

      Just then Robert heard voices downstairs and realized his wife and son were back from their trip to the museum. Hastily he shut the dome and slipped the box back into the briefcase and under his bed, shaking now; unable to believe he had been so close.  As he ate dinner with his family that night Robert knew his choice; there was nothing he would do to endanger the people he loved.

                                                          

   For weeks Robert tried not to think about the button. He dropped the briefcase in the dustiest corner of his attic, but couldn’t make himself get rid of it completely. He feared if it wasn’t there for him to see with his own eyes it would be very easy to believe that the whole event was all in his head; that he was losing his mind.     So Robert went on his daily business, shoving thoughts of the button, and the responsibility he once though he had farther in his mind with every passing day- but he could not ignore it completely. The knowledge he had gained could not go away, it stuck firmly in his brain and threatened to pop right to the center when he least expected it.    His greatest fear was that someone else would find the button in his attic and press it without knowing the consequences, because even though he wished anyone else in the world could’ve been burdened with his choice, he knew deep down that the decision to press or not press the button was his alone to make.   Days and days passed and the world seemed to be settled into a pattern again, one where things made sense and you didn’t randomly get whisked away to alternate dimensions while waiting at street corners, Robert could even handle pressing the button for the elevator at work again (something he had been irrationally uncomfortable about).    Maybe one day the button would've been all but a distant memory. Maybe.     If it weren’t for a visitor one evening.       Robert was alone in his house when the doorbell started to ring, his wife had just left to

pick up his son from soccer practice, and he wasn’t expecting any visitors. Curiously, he looked out an upstairs window to see who was there.  At his doorstep stood a shady looking man in a black trench coat. He was tall and thin, and had untidy looking brownish blonde hair which he kept running his hand through. As he waited on the front porch he looked over Robert’s house with an appraising expression, like he was looking for something, and he kept impatiently stabbing the doorbell with his finger.

                               Robert cautiously walked down the stairs and opened the door for the stranger, “Can I help you sir?” he asked the man.    “You can call me Zane-and actually, you can.” he replied, “You see Mr. Johnston, I work for an organization that has recently become very interested in you.”  He looked over Robert, apparently not impressed. “We know you have the button Robert, and we want to make sure you make the right decision here.”    “What?! I--how?” Robert sputtered.  Zane rolled his eyes, “It doesn’t matter how, what matters is that if you don’t do something you’ll be leaving the human race to die, and we can’t let that happen.”   Robert looked Zane right in the eye, “I’m sorry, but I’ve thought long and hard about this. I can’t risk hurting my family by pressing that button, and I can’t be responsible for killing 3

billion people, I just can’t.”   Zane groaned, and then mumbled to himself, “Of all the people, why the heck would the Forces choose this idiot?” Then to Robert he said, “Don’t you see? You’re not murdering 3 billion people, you’re doing what's necessary for the greater good of the human race, you’ll be a hero, not a murderer!”  “But my family-”“It’s selfish to let the world crumble for the sake of a couple people, and its cowardly to be afraid of making the big choices-you’ll be a murderer and a fool if you stand by!”“I’m sorry, but this isn’t something I can do.”   Zane sighed, “Looks like we’re doing this the hard way.” and barged into the house. “What are you doing--?!” Robert began to shout.   “If you’re too scared to press it, I will! Where is it?!” He asked, scanning the house.      “I won’t tell you!” Robert said, “This is my decision-they chose me!”   Zane  groaned, “Well the Forces were wrong! They can make mistakes you know.” He continued to look around, bending over to see under tables and picking up objects.   “Stop!” Robert exclaimed, “This is my house, you can’t just come in here and look around!”Zane did stop then, and turned to look Robert straight in the eye, “You really won’t tell me?” he asked. “Are you sure?”  Robert shook his head, “Never--this is my choice to make.” Before he even knew what was happening Robert found himself up against the wall with something cold and metallic forcibly pressed against his head.   “I don’t want to hurt you-but unlike you, I’m not afraid to do what I have to for a better future. So I’ll ask you again, where is it?”       Zane spoke just above a whisper, his face close enough to Robert's that he could feel his breath on his cheek.      Robert could hardly breathe. There’s a gun on my head, oh my god he’s going to shoot me. Robert had barely ever held a gun, much less had one pressed against his skull before. It took him all his courage to shake his head no.  Zane was getting more exasperated by the minute, “What is your deal? All you have to do is show me where you put it, I’ll press the button, I’ll take the responsibility, nobody can even blame you!”    “No. Robert insisted, “This is my choice, they said I was the only one who could make it, and I have to protect my family.”  Zane lowered the gun, “Your family...” he paused, as of contemplating something. “You would do anything to protect them, right?”   Robert was wary or where this was going, “Yes, anything.”      “Wow...well I really hoped it wouldn’t get to this,” Zane looked genuinely regretful as he ran a hand through his hair, “Your family-- your wife and kid? Well they’re being followed. The roads are wet and well, if I give the word it would be so easy for it all to look like an accident, a hit and run that never gets solved...” Zane trailed of. “I’m not saying I want to do to, but if that’s what it takes...”

      Now it was Robert’s turn to get angry. Lunging at Zane, not thinking or caring about the fact that this man was armed and much stronger than him, he shouted, “If you threaten my family again, if you touch them you-” Zane held up his arms in surrender, “I won’t do anything if you just show me the button.”    “If you press that button they could die, but if you don’t you’ll kill them? Either way you’re putting them in danger!” Robert exclaimed.   “Not true!” Zane interjected, “The people I work for, they can protect you and your family! We have bunkers and secret storehouses all over.”  Now Robert could see the choice, or the lack of one, in front of him; he had made the decision earlier that he wouldn’t do anything to endanger his family or the people he loved. Before this had meant not pressing the button, but was his choice any different now that it meant pressing it? Robert realized that it wasn’t, couldn’t be, if he was going to keep his promise.                                          Zane eyed Robert, “So?” he asked. Robert took a deep breath “Fine. Follow me.”    “Good, now if you try anything just remember...” Zane held up his gun. Robert nodded and led him up the stairs, down the hall and to the hatch that led to the attic. They climbed up the pull down stairs and entered the crowded, dusty space. Robert felt his way through the dark, stepping over boxes, while Zane waited cautiously at the front.    The briefcase was exactly as Robert remembered it, its soft light brown leather now coated with a thin layer of dust. He could tell simply by picking it up that the wretched button was still

safely inside.                                   

    As he carried it to Zane, Robert tried to formulate any kind of plan to guarantee his family's safety and still avoid handing over the button, but he found it hard to think clearly

with all that had happened, and it if anything could have been done it seemed too late now.   “So this is it.” Zane said, when Robert handed it to him, his expression one of awe. He gingerly held the briefcase and carefully slid out the black box. “Such a little thing,” He marveled. Looking up to Robert he said, “You know I never thought I’d see this. We’ve been looking for centuries, I didn’t think it would happen in my lifetime, especially not that I’d be the one to...” Zane trailed off, mesmerized by the little, unassuming red button.   Slowly Zane began to lift up the dome, and for a second Robert thought he saw a look of uncertainty flash in his eyes, but he couldn’t be sure because at that very second a bright spark of light burst from the little box, followed by long tendrils of electricity.

                 Zane yelled out in shock and instinctively dropped the box, but it was too late and the tendrils ensnared him, causing him to convulse with electricity. As fast as all this happened it went away just as quickly, the electricity subsiding, the black box left on the ground, unscathed, and Zane lying next to it, unconscious but (Robert was relieved to see) breathing.   The message was clear; this decision was Robert’s alone to make, and the Forces would be keeping it that way.   Robert realised he had to act fast; these people Zane worked for wouldn’t stop now that they knew only Robert could press the button, it only meant they would now look for ways to force him, and Robert got the feeling that he wouldn’t like their methods of persuasion.    He had to get rid of the button, destroy it or hide it where it could never be found. Leaving Zane on the floor, he picked up the box and carried it downstairs, his hands shaking.

    He walked through the kitchen and down the stairs into the garage, where he kept an assortment of tools. He picked up the biggest hammer he could find and set down the box on his worktable.    Mustering all his strength, Robert raised the hammer over his head and slammed it down on the box. It gave a satisfying crunch and Robert was pleased to see the large dent in the metal. Robert raised the hammer again and brought it down, crunch, then again and again.

                                                       With every blow more of the stress and anxiety and confliction that he hadn’t even known was building up inside seemed to leave him, until he was left with an almost flat hunk of metal and a calmness he hadn’t felt in months. Just to be sure, Robert decided to throw the metal atrocity into the ocean as well.   As he drove up to an overpass where he could do just that, Robert wondered if he had indeed made the right choice. Zane would say he had just doomed the human race right then and there, that he was more of a murderer now than pressing the button could have ever made him. Zane, Robert thought, did he have the right idea, willing to do anything for the greater good? Or was it Todd who was right? Who questioned whether all human life is really equal, and said that if it is not, then why sacrifice the lives of those you love for people you’ve never met?    Robert didn’t know, but he was certain of one thing. That he, Robert Johnston, had no right to decide. Who was he? He pondered, to judge the worth of an individual life?          Who was anyone to?

                                         But he still doubted himself. Was he a fool? Robert wondered. Was he a coward? Or was he just incapable of the kind of selflessness required to push the button? Robert wondered if self-sacrifice, the kind that gets people Nobel peace prizes and assassinations, is something only a great few can do, something you are simply born with inside you.

                                         

                      Robert parked his car and stepped out onto the gravel road. A few feet in front of him a railing was placed to avoid anyone falling down the steep drop into the ocean below. Robert clutched the mangled hunk of metal and hurled it with as his strength towards the setting sun.    He watched as the little object flew in a high arc towards the water, landing with a silent splash and sending ripples through the serene waters.    Robert was hit with the finality of what he had just done, but he didn’t regret it. During his drive he had made a decision.     The Forces had told him that the future, at this point, was not set in stone, that he was the only one who could change it. What if he had the power to save the world in a way that did not end in death?  What if he could lead a change? He had to try. With a purpose and a determination that was completely new to him, Robert drove home.   Robert Johnston was an ordinary man with an extraordinary decision.He would not give up on the world.  He would not doom it either.