Emotional Intelligence Dr. Awdhesh Singh, IRS (Retd.)

Director, Awdhesh Academy,

Former Commissioner, Customs & Indirect Taxes

What is intelligence?

What is intelligence?

• Intelligence is the capacity to understand the world and the resourcefulness to cope with its challenges

• Intelligence refers to individual’s ability • to understand complex ideas

• to adapt effectively to the environment

• to learn from experience

• to engage in various forms of reasoning

• to overcome obstacle by careful thought.

Role of Emotions in understanding people

• Emotions connect people.

• When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.

• Dale Carnegie

The Judgment of Solomon (Hebrew Bible)

• Two mothers living in the same house, each the mother of an infant son, came to Solomon. One of the babies had died, and each claimed the remaining boy as her own.

• Calling for a sword, Solomon declared his judgment: the baby would be cut in two, each woman to receive half.

• One mother did not contest the ruling, declaring that if she could not have the baby then neither of them could, but the other begged Solomon, "Give the baby to her, just don't kill him!"

• The king declared the second woman the true mother, as a mother would even give up her baby if that was necessary to save its life.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others.

It generally includes three skills:1. Understanding emotions of self and others

2. Using emotions for solving complex problems of life

3. Managing emotions to lead a happy and successful life

The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

• Better social interactions and relationship

• Better Self Perception

• Positive Attitude

• Better family and intimate relationships

• Better academic achievement

• Better social relations during work performance and in negotiations

• Better psychological well-being

Good or bad?

• Fire

• Water

• Air

• Food

• Electricity

• Wealth

• Power

Good or bad?

• Love

• Hatred

• Trust

• Fear

• Kindness

• Anger

Anybody can become angry -that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

Aristotle

Models of Emotional Intelligence

Three main models of EI:

1. Ability model

2. Trait model

3. Mixed model

1: Ability Model

• Developed by Salovey and Mayer

• Emotional Intelligence is • The ability to perceive emotion,

• Integrate emotion to facilitate thought,

• Understand emotions and

• To regulate emotions to promote personal growth.

Types of Abilities

1. Perceiving emotions – the ability to detect and decipher emotions in faces, pictures, voices, and cultural artifacts—including the ability to identify one's own emotions.

2. Using emotions – the ability to harness emotions to facilitate various cognitive activities, such as thinking and problem solving.

3. Understanding emotions – the ability to comprehend emotional language and to appreciate complicated relationships among emotions.

4. Managing emotions – the ability to regulate emotions in both ourselves and in others. EI person can harness emotions, even negative ones, and manage them to achieve intended goals.

2. Trait model

• This model of EI is attributed to K. V. Petrides.

• Emotional intelligence is an individual’s self-perceptions of their emotional abilities, including behavioral and self-perceived abilities.

• These traits are measured by the respondent’s self-report through the TEIQue (Trait Emotional Questionnaire).

The TEIQue model

The people with High EQ perceive themselves as the following:1. Adaptability …flexible and willing to adapt to new conditions.

2. Assertiveness …forthright, frank, and willing to stand up for their rights.

3. Emotion perception (self/others) …clear about their own and other people’s feelings.

4. Emotion expression …capable of communicating their feelings to others.

5. Emotion management (others) …capable of influencing other people’s feelings.

6. Emotion regulation …capable of controlling their emotions.

7. Low Impulsiveness …reflective and less likely to give in to their urges.

8. Relationships …capable of having fulfilling personal relationships.

Contd.

9. Self-esteem …successful and self-confident.

10. Self-motivation …driven and unlikely to give up in the face of adversity.

11. Social awareness …accomplished networkers with excellent social skills.

12. Stress management ..capable to withstand pressure & regulate stress.

13. Trait empathy …….capable of taking someone else’s perspective.

14. Trait happiness …cheerful and satisfied with their lives.

15. Trait optimism …confident and likely to “look on the bright side” of life.

3. Mixed model

• Introduced by Daniel Goleman

• Focuses on EI as a wide array of competencies and skills that drive leadership performance.

(i) Self-awareness

• EI people have the ability to know their emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values and goals

• They can predict their behavior accurately

• They don’t let their feelings dominate their rational mind.

• They balance their emotional and rational mind

(ii) Self-regulation

• EI people exercise self control and self-regulation.

• They can control or redirect their disruptive emotions and impulses

• They can adapt to changing circumstances.

• They use emotions to generate passion and love in their life.

• We can imagine emotion as engine and reason as the steering of a car.

• Control your emotions through reason to create better life for you and others.

(iii) Social skill

• EI people are good at managing relationships with their friends, relatives, bosses, subordinates and their neighbours due to their ability to understand other’s emotions.

• They like most people and they are liked by most people.

• They believe in team work rather than individual glory.

• They are able to communicate their feelings well and understand the behaviour of other people accurately.

• Their relationships last long due to their ability to understand people at the deepest level.

(iv) Empathy

• Empathy is the ability of people to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of other people.

• High EI people are good in understanding other people's feelings when making decisions.

• Empathetic people are better listener, nonjudgmental and compassionate.

(v) Motivation

• EI people are self motivated to perform and accomplish their task.

• They use their feelings to develop intuition which helps fast and often better decision making.

• They use emotion in the right time, in the right way, in the right quality to achieve best results

Civil Servants and Emotional Intelligence

• In a democracy, you work in government of the people, by the people, for the people

• Civil servants have to be an administrator as well as a servant

• They must have compassion for the people

• They connect with people emotionally to derive energy and motivation

• A good civil servant must be a leader and not mere a bureaucrat.

EI and Leadership

• “In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels” ― Daniel Goleman

• Leadership and success requires perfect coordination between the two

• According to Daniel Goleman, EI accounts for more career success than IQ. • High EI employees are more aware of their own emotions and of others, which in

turn, could lead companies to better profits and less unnecessary expenses.

• High EI Employees show more confidence in their roles, which allow them to face demanding tasks positively.

• EI contributes to develop strong and positive relationships with co-workers and perform efficiently in work teams.

• EI was the best predictor of job performance than IQ in leadership position.

Q. According to Daniel Goleman, what is more, important for success and leadership

A. High Emotional Intelligence

B. High IQ

C. Hard work

D. Networking

Q. Motivation is the characteristic of a High Emotionally intelligent person according to which model

A. Ability Model

B. Trait Model

C. Mixed Model

D. None of the above

Q. What is the relative importance of Emotional Intelligence as compared to technical knowledge for leaders, according to Denial Goleman?A. Equal

B. Twice

C. Thrice

D. No Relationship

Developing Emotional Intelligence

EI: Inborn or Developed

• According to Denial Goleman, emotional competencies are learned capabilities that must be worked on and can be developed to achieve outstanding performance.

• Individuals are born with a general emotional intelligence that determines their potential for learning emotional competencies.

• These potentialities remain hidden unless we develop them with positive actions.

1: Develop Empathy

• Don’t stay in your Ivory Towers

• Mix with people with whom you work

• Treat people as human beings

• Put yourself in their place to realize their sufferings

• Overcome prejudices against people

• Develop empathy by sharing emotions

Two Monks and a Woman

• Two monks were travelling together. Soon they came to a river where a strong current was flowing. A young and beautiful woman sought their help as she was unable to cross the river.

• The senior monk lifted her on his shoulder and crossed the river. The younger monk was quite shocked with the behavior of the senior monk.

• He asked, ‘We are monks. We are not permitted a touch a woman. How can you then carry that woman on your shoulders?’

• The senior monk smiled and replied, ‘I left the woman a long time ago at the bank. However, you seem to be still carrying her.’

2. Reduce Negative Emotions

• Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.(Dale Carnegie)

• Learn to see the positive traits of others

Bura Jo Dekhan Main Chala, Bura Naa Milya KoyeJo Munn Khoja Apnaa, To Mujhse Bura Naa Koye

English: I searched for the crooked, met not a single oneWhen searched myself, "I" found the crooked one

3. Understand people

• Understand yourself as you are and understand people as they are

• Don’t expect either you or others to be perfect (as one should be)

• To understand all is to forgive all. (A French Proverb)

4. Avoid too much stress & Maintain calm

• Little stress may be good (Eustress)

• Excess stress may harm

• Avoid situations that creates stresses in life

• Prevent building up the stress in life

• Be prepared for unexpected situations

• Face the stressful situations with courage

• Don’t lose calm even in difficult situations

5. Express Your Emotions

• The unexpressed emotions become toxic and harmful

• Learn to express your opinion in a manner that others can understand and appreciate

• Emotionally connect people and develop deeper bonds

• Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Buddha

6. Think Positive

• Everything in this world has both positive and negative sides

• Good and bad days come in the life of everyone

• If you focus on negatives, you will face depression and anxiety

• Focus on positive things, you will be happy and satisfied

7. Learn from Failure

• When you are in a relationships, you suffer successes as well as failures.

• You develop hatred for a class of people.

• Let the failures don’t disturb the piece of your mind for long. Learn the lessons from your failure and move ahead.

• “I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

(Michael Jordan)

GIRTE HAIN SHEHSAWAR HI MEDAN- E- JUNG MEH"

"WO TIFL KYA GERAH JO GHUTNO KE BAL CHALE

THOSE WHO RIDE ON HORSE ONLY FALLS

HOW CAN A PERSON FALL, IF HE ONLY CRAWLS,

8. Be Hopeful

• Hope is the food for soul.

• Always hope for the best in life, though prepared for the worst.

• Consider God/Nature to be always helpful to you just like your parents are always helpful to you.

• We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

UPSC Questions

Emotional Intelligence

• What is 'emotional intelligence' and how can it be developed in people? How does it help an individual in taking ethical decisions? (150 words) (CSE 2013)

• Anger is a harmful negative emotion. It is injurious to both personal life and work life.• Discuss how it leads to negative emotions and undesirable behaviors.• How can it be managed and controlled? (150 words) (CSE 2016)

• How will you apply emotional intelligence in administrative practices? (CSE 2017)

• “Emotional Intelligence is the ability to make your emotions work for you instead of against you.” Do you agree with this view? Discuss. (CSE-2019)

• What are the main components of emotional intelligence (EI)? Can they be learned? Discuss. (CSE 2020)