EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Get Results

Dr. Martin Armstrong, CPP, MBA, DBA

Intellectual Intelligence

•Ability to:▫Learn about▫Learn from▫Understand▫Interact

• Adaptability to a new or changing environment

• Capacity for knowledge and the ability to acquire it

• Capacity for reason and abstract thought

• Ability to comprehend relationships

• Ability to evaluate and judge

• Capacity for original and productive thought3

Intellectual Intelligence

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Emotional Intelligence• Defined as…

The ability, capacity, skill or a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups.

Self-Awareness Self-Management Social Awareness Relationship Management

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 - Bradberry & Greaves, 2009

What is Emotional Intelligence?

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What is Emotional Intelligence?

Self-Awareness

Self-Manageme

nt

Social Awareness

Relationship

Management

Personal

Social

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Personality

IQ EI

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Information

enters here

I “feel” hereI think rationally here

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Self-Awareness Strategies

•Ask yourself:

▫What am I feeling?

▫Why am I feeling it?

•Keep a journal or log

•Reflect on your behaviors

•Know your triggers

•Seek feedback

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Self-Management Strategies

•The ABC’s of Life

A – Activating event

B – Belief about the activating event

C – Consequential emotional response

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Beliefs

“My director believes in me”

“My director is trying to ruin my life!”

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Self-Defeating Beliefs

•Add D

▫Dispute our thinking

▫Replace self-defeating, irrational beliefs with rational logical beliefs

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Self-Management Strategies

•Choose your battles

•Mix pleasantness with anger

•Realign your expectations

•Speak to someone that is not emotionally invested

•Recognize the irrationality of worry

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Self-Management Strategies

•Ask anxiety inventory questions

▫What is going on here?

▫What’s the worst thing that could happen?

▫How likely is that?

▫Is it in or out of my control?

▫Is there anything I can do?

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Social Awareness Strategies

•Greet people by name

•Notice things about people

•Watch body language and tone

•Listen

•Step into their shoes

•Seek the whole picture

•Pay attention to the mood in the room

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Relationship Strategies

•Be open and curious

•Acknowledge other people’s feelings

•Have an “open door” policy

•Explain your decisions

•Tackle a tough conversation

•Take feedback & give constructive criticism

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Putting People at Ease

• Make everyone feel like they belong

• Portray positive emotions

• Make people feel comfortable

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Balance Work and Life

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The Johari Window

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Difficult Conversations

Personal Inventory

SelfAwareness

Take an inventory of your state of mind

SelfManageme

nt

Plan for your triggers of frustration and

anger 20

Difficult Conversations

Social Inventory

Social Awareness

Determine the emotional level of the

team member

Relationship Managemen

t

Address problems directly with an open

ear 21

Dealing With People You Can’t Stand

1. Do nothing

2. Vote with your feet

3. Change your attitude

4. Change your behavior

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The 10 Most Unwanted List

•The Tank

▫Your Goal: Command Respect

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The 10 Most Unwanted List

•The Sniper

▫Your Goal: Bring the Sniper Out of Hiding

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The 10 Most Unwanted List

•The Know-It-All

▫Your Goal: Open their mind to new information and ideas

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The 10 Most Unwanted List•The Think-They-Know-It-All

▫Your Goal: Give his/her bad ideas the hook

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The 10 Most Unwanted List

•The Grenade

▫Your Goal: Take control of the situation

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The 10 Most Unwanted List

•The Yes Person

▫Your Goal: Get

commitments you

can count on

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The 10 Most Unwanted List•The Maybe Person

▫Your Goal: Help them learn to think decisively

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The 10 Most Unwanted List

•The Nothing Person

▫Your Goal: Persuade the Nothing Person to talk

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The 10 Most Unwanted List

•The No Person

▫Your Goal: Transition to Problem Solving

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The 10 Most Unwanted List

•The Whiner

▫Your Goal: Form a Problem-Solving Alliance

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Emotional Intelligence

• Emotional Intelligence is a highly flexible skill

• Individuals need to develop an active awareness of their emotions and appropriately manage their behaviors

• Individuals with high emotional intelligence carry a heightened awareness of other’s emotions and use this knowledge to build positive social relationships

• Effective leaders exhibit behaviors that correspond to high-levels of emotional intelligence

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What Drives You?

-

NO Regrets

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THANK YOU

CONTACT INFORMATION

Dr. Martin Armstrong – 704.731.1715

martin.armstrong@twcable.com