E M P O W E R I N G Y O U T O S T O P H O L D I N G B A C K A N D S T A R T M O V I N G F O R W A R D

Courageous Conversations

Leah M. FraserClinical Psychologist

Identifying the Conversation

IDENTIFYING THE CONVERSATION

Identify a difficult situation or conversation to be had

What makes the conversation challenging/difficult What are the risks of doing nothing What are the potential benefits of having the

conversation

Challenging conversations

What are some examples of challenging conversations

What makes them challenging?

Some Challenging conversations:

Telling your partner you are upset Telling parents you have concerns about their child Addressing conflict with a co-worker Approaching your boss with a concern Approaching a subordinate with concerns Sharing your concerns with parents Telling the waiter you don’t like your food ‘breaking bad news’ Your boss asking to speak with you…. Talking with your teen about anything!

So, what are you afraid of?

Why should we address conflict?

Emotional Health Reduce Fear and Anxiety Missed Opportunities Personal Growth Improve relationships

The conversation is not about the relationship; the conversation is the relationship. Susan Scott – Fierce Conversations

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he

who conquers that fear.

Nelson Mandela

Communication 101

Types of Conversations

Types of Communication

Effective Communication 101

Effective Communication 101

Successful communication is when ALL parties have the SAME understanding of what has been communicated.

Forms of Communication

Active Listening Verbal Non-verbal Emotional Awareness Written (email/text/letters/reports) Visual (graphs/charts)

Forms of Communication

Active Listening Focus on the person speaking Show interest Avoid interrupting Check for understanding Paraphrase

Forms of Communication

Verbal Speak clearly Choose your words carefully Tone of voice Consider the audience Think before responding

Forms of Communication

Non-verbal Body language Eye contact Gestures Posture Facial expressions Human behaviour Touch/proximity Dress/grooming Silence/pace or speed of speech

Forms of Communication

Emotional Awareness Consider other people’s feelings Consider your own feelings Have empathy Operate on trust Recognize misunderstandings

REFLECTING ON COMMUNICATION

3 people: speaker, listener, observer Will all take turns in each

Talk about the concern you identified, the risks/benefits of having a courageous conversation

Effective Communication 101

Conflict Resolution 101

Conflict Styles

Avoidance Accommodating Collaborating Competing Compromising

Conflict Resolution 101

Effectively convey information Being sensitive to other people’s feelings Being polite Avoiding gossip Accurately interpreting others’ emotions Calmly arriving at resolutions

How to STOP Avoiding Conflict

Start with the goal (win-win) Become curious Set the tone Open well Give your role the responsibility Agree with them – diffuse defensiveness Stick to facts Identify/own your feelings Pick a good moment

P R E P A R I N G F O R A C O U R A G E O U S C O N V E R S A T I O N

Get ready, get set, Go!

Get ready….

Set yourself up for success!

Decide if the issue is worth addressing. Know WHY you want to have the conversation Write a clear statement of: The issue you want to discuss, How the issue is affecting you, The desired end goal/outcome.

Get set….

Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous

conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls

Get set….

Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous

conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls

Get set….

Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous

conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls

Get set….

Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous

conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls

Get set….

Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous

conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls

Get set….

Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous

conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls

Get set….

Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous

conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls

Get set….

Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous

conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls

…and GO!!!

Courage is a choice: it requires practice, vulnerability and action!

Patricia Porter

Having the Courageous Conversation

Step 1 – Clearly outline WHAT the issue is, WHY it’s important to discuss, and HOW the issues is affecting you

Step 2 - Invite the person’s response with curiosity

Step 3 - Reflect back your understanding of their perspective

Step 4 – Share the situation from your perspective

Step 5 – Create a commitment to an action plan to move forward