Enhancing Your Resilience - Adaptiv Learning · 1/17/2013 · Adaptiv Strengths/Skills Map (page 6) X indicates the skill will boost the factor. Please complete your Resilience Snapshot

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EnhancingEnhancing YourYour ResilienceResilienceEssentialEssential Skills To Help You Feel Better And Do BetterSkills To Help You Feel Better And Do Better

At WorkAt Work –– And BeyondAnd Beyond

Presented By:

Dean M. BeckerManaging Director, Principal & Co-founder

Adaptiv Learning Systems

January 17, 2013

© 2013 Adaptiv Learning Systems

Are you resilient?

© Copyright, Adaptiv Learning Systems, 2012

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Then why are you here?


FIS 5yr stock chart

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Sony Electronics 5yr Stock Chart

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Why are you here? Boost your own resilience in the face of

Challenging business conditions Difficult clients Financial uncertainty Resource constraints Constant change

Build on your strengths Your resilience Your optimism Your values & principles


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AgendaExamine your Resilience strengths and developmentopportunities

Resilience helps deal with adversity and stress Learn 3 skills to help you feel better and do better in the

midst of workplace and life challenges

Resilience also helps us optimize positive events andopportunities

Learn 2 skills to tap into positive emotions and principles

Apply to work and life


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History of Adaptiv


Resilience is key“More than education, more thanexperience, more than training, it’sresilience that determines whosucceeds and who fails.”

Dean Becker, CEO, Adaptiv Learning Systems -

“How Resiliency Works”, Harvard Business Review, 2002.


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What resilience is NOT


Resilience is the intelligentdeployment of limited resources

At times we attempt to solve theunsolvable

At times we give up prematurely


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We need serenity to accept those things we cannot change

We need courage to change the things we can

And we need the wisdom to know the difference


Serenity Prayer

Table Activity – page 4

Talk about the most resilient people you’ve known oradmired

What qualities do they have which make them resilient? How did they become resilient?

Were they born that way? Did their life experiences shape their resilience? Can we develop those qualities in ourselves?

Write down a list of words describing a resilient person

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Your group’s demographics (40 responses)

Average years in your company: 9.0

Average years in your position: 5.1

Average years in this industry: 14.5


1-10 scale

Resilience 7.4

Job Satisfaction 6.4

Current Success 7.2

Future Success 8.4

Your self ratings (1-10 scale)

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The 7 AdaptivResilience Factors


Handout, page 5

Emotion Regulation

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Impulse Control

Causal Analysis

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Self-efficacy

Realistic Optimism

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Empathy

Reaching Out

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The 7 Adaptiv Resilience Factors

Emotion RegulationImpulse ControlCausal Analysis

Self-efficacyRealistic Optimism

EmpathyReaching Out

Your Group Resilience Profile (40 responses)

You are above the Fortune 500 norm on Empathy.

You are below the Fortune 500 norm on Reaching OutYou are at the Fortune 500 norm on all other factors.

Feds stronger than Fortune 500 on 6 of 7 factors! What’s their secret?

0

20

40

60

80

100

Fortune 500 75 77 66 77 60 67 74 71

SEL Dec. 2012 77 79 68 79 60 71 71 72Fed Gov't 78 81 67 81 59 71 76 73

EmotionRegulation

ImpulseControl

CausalAnalysis

Self-Efficacy

Optimism Empathy ReachingOut

RQ

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EmotionRegulation

ImpulseControl

CausalAnalysis

Self-Efficacy

RealisticOptimism

Empathy ReachingOut

Skill 1LocateEmotionRadar

X X X X

Skill 2DetectIcebergs

X X XSkill 3ChallengeExplanations

X X XSkill 4HarnessPositiveEmotions

X X X

Skill 5Tap intoPositiveIcebergs

X X X X

Adaptiv Strengths/Skills Map (page 6)

X indicates the skill will boost the factor.

Please complete your Resilience Snapshot for RFI & Resilience Skills (page 38)

“The research also shows that morethan genetics, more than intelligence,

more than any other factor, it isThinking Style that determines who is

resilient and who is not.”


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Thinking Styles

Habits in how we … View the world View ourselves View our future Think about events and their causes Think about how the world should be


Thinking Styles

Learned from parents


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Thinking Styles

Firm by 8, concrete by 18


Thinking Styles

Short cuts under stress


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Thinking Styles

Often inaccurate


Inaccurate thinkingcan sap our resilience and get us into

trouble.


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“There is no reason to believe this shipcould founder.”

-- E. W. Smith, Captain of the Titanic, 1912.



“Everything that can be invented hasbeen invented.”-- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

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"There is no reason anyone would wanta computer in their home."-- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of DigitalEquipment Corp., 1977



"640K ought to be enough for anybody."-- Bill Gates, 1981

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Skill 1

Locating Non-resilientEmotion Radars

Epictetus

“We are disturbed not by events, but by theviews we take of events”

•Born in the Greek city ofHierapolis in 55 C.E.

•Slave of Rome

•Physically abused

•No control over events

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Thinking, Feeling, Doing

Event

Our Thoughts

Impact:What we feel

and do


ActivityPlease complete Participant’s Guide pages 10 & 11

What situation on page 10 did you rate yourself loweston?

What emotion on page 11did you rate yourself loweston?

Do you typically feel that emotion when you’re in thatsituation?

This is no coincidence

It’s our Thinking about situations (p.10) that drives ourEmotions (p.11)!

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Emotion Radar Practice (handout page 12)

EventYou’ve been working much longer hours for the past severalweeks, responding to customer requests, trying to achievequota, managing shrinking internal resources, responding toshifting priorities, and trying to make sense of the changingbusiness landscape. You get home at the end of a particularlytough week and your spouse/partner complains that you’re aworkaholic and need to start making your relationship more ofa priority.

Thinking – What would go through your mind like tickertapein that instant – not 5 minutes or even 5 seconds later?

Impact – What would you feel and do in that moment?


Common Emotion RadarsTypical Thought Reaction Radar Emotion

“I’m not managing this relationship very well.” Loss Sadness

“This isn’t good – what if he’s reallyunhappy?”

Future Threat Anxiety

“I deserve more support than I’m getting!” Violation of YourRights

Anger

“There’s nothing I can do about this.” Lack ofResources

Frustration

“She’s right. She deserves better.” Violation ofAnother’s Rights

Guilt

“He really caught me out this time.” Loss of Standing Embarrassment

“It’s wrong to put work above family.” Violation of YourOwn Standards

Shame

“We’ve worked through this before and can doit again.”

Neutral OK

“This proves it – she really loves me!!!” All is well! DeliriousHappiness


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Emotion Radars (page 13)

Radar EmotionViolation of Your Rights Anger

Future Threat Anxiety

Lack of Resources Frustration

Loss – Real World orEsteem

Sadness

Loss of Standing Embarrassment

Violation of Others Guilt

Violation of OwnStandards

Shame


Emotion Radar Practice (handout page 12)

EventYou have worked for months to convince a customer to investin a major branch automation system. You and your managerbelieve that FIS will win the business. Your customer notifiesyou by email that.

Thinking – What would go through your mind like tickertapein that instant – not 5 minutes or even 5 seconds later?

Impact – What would you feel and do in that moment?


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A 2-Way Skill

How can you use this tool to increase yourown resilience?

How could you use this tool with:

your clients?

your friends?

your family members?


Emotion Radar Discussion (page 14)

•What situations push your buttons most?

•What emotion most gets in your way?

•What, then, is your Emotion Radar? (hint: use thechart on page 13)

•What’s one thing you can do, starting today, to avoidyour Emotion Radar?

Please complete your Resilience Snapshot forSkill 1 – Locating Emotion Radars (page 38)

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Emotion Radar Activity (page 15 )

Role Plays Goal – Communicate more effectively with a client How?

Form groups of 2. One in each group plays HR, one playsclient

Client presents HR with a situation, showing an emotion Choose Sadness, Anxiety, Frustration, or Anger

HR identifies emotion and uses Emotion Radar chart to initiatediscussion and solve problem

Timing – about 5 min. each – switch roles

EmotionRegulation

ImpulseControl

CausalAnalysis

Self-Efficacy

RealisticOptimism

Empathy ReachingOut


X X X X

Skill 2AvoidThinkingTraps

X X


X X X

Skill 4ChallengeExplanations

X X X

Skill 5HarnessPositiveRadars

X X X


X X X X

Skill 7FindConnection

X X X

X indicates the skill will boost the factor

The Value of Locating Emotion Radars

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Case Study - Edward Jones EJ Investment Reps, new hires

Cold calling and door knocking

High levels of rejection

Diversity of Emotions – anger, frustration, anxiety,embarrassment, shame, ok, excited

8 hours of training – focus on Emotion Regulation

Followed 9 months after training

EJ – Using the skills% using skill to focus after rejection

0%

20%

40%

60%

80%

100%

92% 32%Resilience Training Control

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EJ – Greater EmotionRegulation

Redlining – Emotion of 8-10 on 10-pt scale

% who 'redlined' after rejection

0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

10% 54%Resilience Training Control

Bottom Line

Assets under management

0

500000

1000000

1500000

2000000

Control Group 0 106083 290173 938797

Resilience Group 0 335764 744297 1891686

Pre 1 month 3 months 9 months

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Skill 2

Navigating AroundProblem Icebergs

North America is just now emerging from one of thecoldest seasons on record. Meteorologists reportedunprecedented consecutive days of below-freezingtemperatures. Store owners also report records --the highest sales ever of snow shovels.


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W _ _ TER


In a city of great restaurants, the “Garden Grove”is proving to be one of the best. The menu iscomprehensive and the wine list is reasonablypriced. But this restaurant’s best asset is its staff. Ifound them to be very attentive and friendly.


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W _ _ TER


Surface Thoughts vs. IcebergsSurface thoughts Surface of our

awareness

Specific to one Event

Easy to tune into

Icebergs At a deeper level / More

difficult to capture

Must’s and should’s

Fuel tickertape

Cause red-line emotions

Empowered when weuncover them


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Trash Talk

What emotion does he show?

At what level, 1-10?



What kind of Radar thought leads to anger?

What was his‘violation’? What did hesay it would cost him? 1-10?

A mismatch between his Thought andhis Emotion

He’s hit up against an Iceberg

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The Skill of Detecting Icebergs

What is the most upsettingpart of that for me?

What does that mean to me?

Assuming that’s true, why isthat so upsetting to me?

What is the worst part ofthat for me?

Detecting IcebergsEventEvent TickertapeTickertape ImpactImpact

Spouse asksyou to take out

trash

This is goingto cost me 5

minutes.

Extreme anger

IntermediateIntermediate BeliefsBeliefsSpouse interrupted my work for a trivial thing

Therefore, spouse doesn’t respect my workBut, my work is so important to me

So, this means spouse doesn’t respect me

ICEBERG: People should respectand support me all the time

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Identifying your own Icebergs

Achievement Icebergs (Handout, page 19)

“Being successful is what matters most.”

“Failure is a sign of weakness.”

“Quitters never win.”

“I should get everything right.”

“If it’s not done perfectly it’s a failure.”

“If I can’t do it well I won’t do it at all.”

“If you’re not born with a talent, you’ll never be good at it.”

“There’s no substitute for hard work.”


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Social Icebergs

“It’s my job to make sure people are happy.”“I want people to always think the best of me.”“Avoid conflict at all costs.”“I should always be there for the people I love.”“Avoid embarrassment at all costs.”“Sacrificing for others is the right thing to do.”“You can’t trust people.”“I should be respected by everyone.”


Icebergs about Control“Only weak people can’t solve their own problems.”“I must always be in charge.”“I must never show my feelings.”“I can’t handle messy situations.”“Good things happen to good people, bad things to bad

people.”“The more control I get, the better my life will be.”“If you want it done right, do it yourself.”“The world should be fair.”“People should play by the rules.”


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Options for Handling Icebergs

Melting the IcebergDetect it when it appears and take steps to act against it



Steering Around the Iceberg

Avoid or prepare for situations in which you’re likely to hit the Iceberg


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Accepting or Embracing the IcebergEnjoy the upsides and minimize/control the downsides


Table Talk (page 21)

In groups of 2 or 3: Choose an Iceberg that comes up for you during these

challenging times.

How does this Iceberg affect your mood? Yourbehavior?

Do you want to Embrace it, Melt it, or Steer Around it?

What’s one thing you can start doing today to navigatearound your Iceberg?

Please complete your Resilience Snapshot forSkill 3 – Icebergs (page 39)

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Case Study – David’s BridalQ1 2002 was record quarter for bridal industry due to 9-11

Dropped dramatically in last half 2002

Resilience of store sales reps nosedived

Adaptiv Training in Q4 2002 – focus on DetectingIcebergs

Q1 2003 versus Q1 2002 and compared with Controlgroup

David’s Bridal - Results

-15

-10

-5

0

5

10

15

Adaptiv -12.97 1.97 3.67 5.68 10.7

Control -3.02 -7.12 0.76 1.14 -0.76

Traffic Registrations Sales $ per Bride Headpiece

Training in Q4 of 2002

Figures above – Q1 2003 vs. Q1 2002

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EmotionRegulation

ImpulseControl

CausalAnalysis

Self-Efficacy

RealisticOptimism

Empathy ReachingOut


X X X


X X


X X X


X X X


X X X


X X X X


X X X


The Value of Detecting Icebergs

Skill 3

Getting Flexiblewith Explanations-

Discovering Your “Why?” Style

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From Fear to HopePolio – up to 20,000 new cases a yearin the U.S. before 1955

Jonas Salk – a story of Resilience7 years, 500 unsuccessful attempts

“the man who saved the children”

‘immunize children against psychologicaldisorders’

“Why?” Style

Our thinking style for explaining the badstuff to ourselves Learned by middle childhood

Becomes a habit

Automatic belief about why it happened

Sometimes right, often wrong

Made up of 3 parts

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The 3 Dimensions of Why? Style

Me . . . . . . . . . . Not Me

Always . . . . . . . . . .Not Always

Everything . . . . . . . . . .Not Everything

Beliefs about causes of AdversityBeliefs about causes of Adversity

“I’m stupid.”“This teacher’s

exam was too hard.”“Teachers aremessed up.”

“I didn’t studyhard enoughfor this test.”

Why? Style – Me vs. Not Me

A task you delegate doesn’t get done right or ontime. WHY?ME – I’m not good atdelegating.

Not ME – She doesn’ttake direction well.

You have a brief but heated argument with a friend.WHY?

ME – I’ve been understress and had a shortfuse lately

Not ME – She’s beenunder stress and had ashort fuse lately

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Why? Style – Always vs. Not Always

Event: A new IT system doesn’t have the functionalityyou expected. WHY?ALWAYS – Our ITdepartment never gets itright.

Not ALWAYS – This newsystem is very complex.

Event: One of your kids fails a math exam. WHY?

ALWAYS – He’s bad atmath.

Not ALWAYS – Hedidn’t study hardenough last week.ALWAYS – I’m no good

at helping him withmath.

Not ALWAYS – I didn’thave time to help himstudy for this exam.

BadAtMathF

Why? Style – Everything – Not Everything

Your spouse or significant other rejects everysuggestion you make about where to go out fordinner. WHY?

EVERYTHING – She’sstubborn.

Not EVERYTHING –He’s a finicky eater.

One of your BU’s ignores a new HR solution thatyou’ve championed. WHY?

EVERYTHING – Thesepeople are impossible toreason with.

Not EVERYTHING –They’re too distractedby current businesspressures to accept thisprogram.

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What is your Why? Style?

I tend to be more of a:

Me ……. Not Me

Always ……. Not Always

Everything ……. Not Everything

See your handout, page 24.

What’s the most resilient style?

Me, Always, Everything? clinical depression

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Not Me, Always, Everything? chronic anger, hypertension


Not Me, Not Always, Not Everything? minimize risk

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Me, Not Always, Not Everything? Len’s story

The Importance of Flexibility

Activity – Getting Flexible (page 25)

Consider the following Events

Each one has an explanation provided

Code the explanation for Why? Style

Come up with at least one alternative explanation usingFlexibility

You’re having difficulty balancing work and home.“I don’t have what it takes to survive in this environment.”

You’re having trouble sticking to a diet and exercise program“There just aren’t enough hours in the day.”

You don’t finish all your work projects for the week.“This week was just a blip. Maybe things will ease up next week.”

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Check for accuracy

Just putting a positive spin on something doesn’tmake you a better problem solver

The importance of accuracy – Tom’s thieving Martians

Use Evidence from your life to check accuracy

Getting Flexible Homework (page 26)

When you hit up against a real problem and can’t figure it out: Note down your explanations – why it’s happening Get flexible using the 3 dimensions

If your explanation is a ‘Me’, come up with a ‘Not Me’and vice versa Do the same for ‘Always’ & ‘Everything’

Check for accuracy Come up with one possible new solution

Please fill in the Resilience Snapshot for Skill 4 (page 39)

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Case Study – Yellow pages sales

Verizon Information Services Puerto Rico – tourism-based economy Hit hard after 911 Young frontline sales team Became hopeless, helpless, frustrated Lots of NOT ME, ALWAYS, EVERYTHING

thoughts “Our managers give bad advice; the objectives are

impossible” “My customers are short-sighted and unreasonable” “Our managers don’t listen and don’t care”

Results – 6 months post-training

0%

5%

10%

15%

20%

2% 18%

Control Group Resilience Group

% improvement in sales

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EmotionRegulation

ImpulseControl

CausalAnalysis

Self-Efficacy

RealisticOptimism

Empathy ReachingOut


X X X


X X


X X X


X X X


X X X


X X X X


X X X


The Value of Flexible Explanations

Skill 4

Harnessing PositiveEmotions

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Are we even-handed emotionally?

Your nocturnal habits?

Your after-work habits?

Traditional Psychology

Disease model - 433 mental disorders

Focus on fixing what’s broken

We know lots about sadness, anxiety, anger,frustration, guilt, shame

We know less about happiness, pride, love,esteem, respect

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Positive Psychology

Empirical studies of the good stuff, e.g., positive emotion

Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden & Build Theory Negative emotion direct & immediate action Positive emotion indirect & longer term benefits:

Builds personal resources Undoes effects of negative emotions Fills the resilience tank

Common Positive Emotion Radars (Handout page 28)

Thought Feeling ActionThings are going well.

HappinessUrge to play; push the envelope; becreative

I performed well oradmirably. Pride

Desire to share news with others;envision even greateraccomplishment

I have everything I need.Contentment

Savor and integrate currentsituation into enhanced self andworld concepts

This challenge is justwithin my capabilities. Interest

Urge to explore; take in newinformation; expand one’s scope

I feel connected andcommitted to others. Love

Desire to play with, explore andsavor experiences with loved ones

People think well of me. Esteem/Respect

Feeling confident to take on newand bigger challenges; reach out

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Positive Emotion Table Activity(Page 29)

Consider the positive emotions

Choose one that you would like to feel more often

When do you feel that emotion now?

What gets in the way of your experiencing thatemotion?

How can you experience that feeling more fully?

Please complete your Resilience Snapshot forSkill 5 – Positive Radars (page 39)


Positive Emotion Tip

If you are feeling badly, notice that your thinking isprobably: Negative, Specific Focused on the past or on the future

To feel better quickly, try switching your thinking to: Positive General Focused on the present


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Positive Emotion Homework (page 30)

Every day for 1 week: Find 3 positive things in the day

Create 3 positive things in the day

Live fully in all aspects of the positive feeling Physiological Cognitive Behavioral Motivational

EmotionRegulation

ImpulseControl

CausalAnalysis

Self-Efficacy

RealisticOptimism

Empathy ReachingOut


X X X


X X


X X X


X X X


X X X


X X X X


X X X


The Value of Harnessing Positive Radars

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Skill 5

Tapping Into PositiveIcebergs

What Are Positive Icebergs?

Any enduring beliefs that have moreupside than downside in your life

Values & Principles- Workplace- Leadership- Life


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Mining for Positive Icebergs

We asked you What are your core workplace

principles?


Your Positive Icebergs

Lead by example, be ethical, provide a balance of challenge andsupport, cultivate learning communities, foster creativity andflexibility.


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Understand the thoughts and opinions of others


I have high standards for myself and my work.


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Everyone offers a valuable perspective and deserves a chanceto be heard.Be kind to others - you never know what kind of battles they arefacing.Advocate for what you believe is right for the business and thepeople.


To be ethical, forthright and compassionate with others


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Accountability, recognition, consequences are the same for allteam members.

Honest communication and development for all team members


I stay positive almost 100 % of the time and I don’t take thingspersonally.


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Hold staff accountable; listen, allow venting from my team whenthey need it; communicate and provide direction and step backto let them implement.


Lead by example, passion for the work I do, work hard, playhard


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Lead by example; utilize experience; speak with confidence(even when not 100% sure); don't rush to judgment; consult withothers/listen to what others have to say; and be consistent.


Quick decision, knowledgeable in my field and not micromanaging


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Collaboration, teamwork, empathy


Make a plan and hold yourself and others to be accountable to itat each step to see it through.


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Integrity, trust, transparency, accountability.


Keep confidences. Maintain integrity. Treat others with respect.Take time to coach others and offer guidance.


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Honesty.

Empathy.

Uncovering the hard facts to find the most appropriate solution.


Accuracy


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Open communication among co-workers and customers,honesty, avoiding shortcuts, and being understanding andempathetic towards others.


Working through others.


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I like to manage by "walking around". This means having moreongoing informal chat/meetings with everyone to understand,discuss and plan for issues real-time, rather than always settingup meetings. I like to give assignments without being toospecific about how things will get done (even though I may havea specific idea about how I might approach the work). Thisallows me to coach when/if they get stuck while allowing for thegrowth that making mistakes creates.


High Work Ethic.

Collaboration.

Energy.

Deep Commitment to see Sony Succeed.


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Accountability, recognition, consequences are the same for allteam members.Honest communication and development for all team members


Stay focused. Be positive (but realistic). Understand thebusiness and tailor HR solutions to meet that need. Say "no"when the business wants to do something that puts them/thecompany at-risk. Speak up in HR meetings and shareopinions/ideas. Try to always improve processes based onlessons learned.


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Be Honest Don’t engage in the banter Ask the question


I micro-manage when needed and macro-manage whenneeded. I think that my teams think that I'm fair and reasonable.


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Credibility and empowering others to strive for the best


I try to have a positive outlook on all things and lead byexample. Professionalism, great attitude, and happiness.


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Table Activity –Personal or Team Mission Statement (Page 32)

Identify your key workplace principles & values.

Write a Mission Statement that reflects these –either for yourself personally or for your team.

Are your day-to-day behaviors and activitiesaligned with your Mission Statement?

Review your Mission Statement daily.


Pheidippides, Positive Icebergs,and the Human Spirit

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EmotionRegulation

ImpulseControl

CausalAnalysis

Self-Efficacy

RealisticOptimism

Empathy ReachingOut


X X X


X X


X X X


X X X


X X X


X X X X


X X X


The Value of Tapping Positive Icebergs

Moving forward…

We want change to be


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Next StepsReview your Resilience Snapshots often

Use just 1 skill every day – resilience will increase

Model resilience for your colleagues

Coach resilience using what you’ve learned today

Surround yourself with the Positive

Never lose sight that tough times are temporary

Reach Out, while others Shrink Back

Ground yourself in greater Connection

Creating Meaning In Your Life

Viktor E. Frankl –

“Man’s Search for Meaning”

“He who has a “Why” can bear any “How” ”.

“Ever more people today have the means to live, but nomeaning to live for.”

“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but onething - the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitudein any given set of circumstances, to choose one's ownway.”


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Promise To Myself

Write a note to yourself stating: What you’d like to change or improve about your work (or

life) How you plan to use the Adaptiv Skills to make this change

or improvement Be as specific as you can

Address the envelope to yourself; we’ll mail it to you inabout a month


Documents

Enhancing Your Resilience - Adaptiv Learning · 1/17/2013 · Adaptiv Strengths/Skills Map (page 6) X indicates the skill will boost the factor. Please complete your Resilience Snapshot