ERIKSON’S DEVELOPMENTAL STAGESFOR YOUNG ADULTS IS:

INTIMACY VS. ISOLATION

Responsible Dating

1. EMOTIONAL2. INTELLECTUAL

3. SOCIAL4. RECREATIONAL

5. SEXUAL

Types of Intimacy

1. SHARING LEISURE ACTIVITIES2. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS

3. POSITIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS4. PERSONALITY COMPATIBILITY

5. RELATIONSHIP BUILDING SKILLS6. SHARED SPIRITUAL VALUES

7. CONSENSUS ON ROLES8. FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT SKILLS

9. SHARED ATTITUDES ABOUT CHILDREN AND PARENTING

10. SEXUAL RELATIONS

Ways to Establish Intimacy

Funnels…

Comparing the Two Funnels…

1. The SPEED down each funnel varies.

2. Girls are usually more interested in pushing down the COMMITMENT funnel, guys control how and how FAST.

3. Guys are usually more interested in pushing down the INTIMACY funnel, girls control how far and how FAST.

…Comparing the Two Funnels

4. Girls and guys will use one funnel to bargain for the other. Girls give SEX to get LOVE, guys give LOVE to get SEX.

5. The earlier in age one enters the funnel, the LONGER one is faced with the problem of fighting gravity down the funnel.

…Comparing the Two Funnels

6. The more you DATE one person, the MORE SLIPPERY the funnel becomes.

7. It is easier to break off a RELATIONSHIP than it is to back up the funnel.

…Comparing the Two Funnels

8. Once you have gone down the funnel, future funnels are more SLIPPERY.

9. Going down the INTIMACY funnel gives girls a different reputation than guys.

Factors that Influence Girls and Guys to have Sex…

1. Going Steady

2. Begin dating at an early age

3. Whether friends are SEXUALLY active or not

4. Alcohol and/or Drugs

Factors that Influence Girls and Guys to have Sex…

5. Lack of involvement in RELIGION.

6. Parents and Family:A. Very PERMISSIVE or very STRICT.B. Lack of family VALUES.C. Divorced or SINGLE parents.D. OPPORTUNITY presented.

7. How you feel about SCHOOL.

Factors that Influence Girls and Guys to have Sex…

8. Dating OLDER guys/girls.

9. Feeling UNLOVED.

10. Media

11. Pressure from your PARENTS.

What are some questions you can ask yourself when making decisions about sexual involvement?

Will it conflict with my:1) Values2) Standards3) Religious Beliefs

Do I understand the Risks1) Pregnancy2) Sexually Transmitted Disease

Will anyone/thing be hurt?1) Myself- Reputation, Future2) My Partner – Reputation, Future3) Our Families4) Possible offspring

What are some wrong reasons for becoming sexually involved?

To Keep the relationship Together

To Prove You are an Adult

To Rebel

To be Accepted/Popular

What questions should you be prepared to answer, should you become a parent because of sexual involvement?

How will a baby affect my future? (Education, Career)

How does my Partner feel about the Pregnancy?

Am I willing to take on the responsibilities of Parenting?

How will parenting affect our relationship?

Do I have the necessary parenting skills?

Can I financially support a child on my own if I have to?

Identify some STD’s that may occur because of sexual involvement?

Chlamydia – Most common

P.I.D. – usually from untreated chlamydia

Gonorrhea

Syphilis

Herpes – No Cure

Aids – No Cure

Let’s say you’ve decided not to have sex. How can you stick to this decision without hurting your partner’s

feelings?

Explain your feelings, thoughts and Needs - LISTEN

Don’t send mixed messages

Avoid situations that may set you up for failure