essential to your life and business just because other people do it. · 2016-09-21 · essential to your life and business just because other people do it. Why make nachos if what

“Cut to the chase, don’t waste time doing stuff that seems to be essential to your life and business just because other people do it.

Why make nachos if what you really want to do is pick the browned shreds of baked cheddar off the cookie sheet? Just cook the cheese

and be done with it.”

- Karen Karbo

THE POWER OF OBSESSION (AND WHY I CREATED THIS 28-DAY CHALLENGE)For the next 28 days, we’re going to do one thing: focus. We’re going to focus on your goal/project/dream, the one you can’t stop thinking about, the one you’re totally obsessed with, and we’re going to harness the power of obsession (aka the power of focusing intently on just one thing) to help turn that thing into reality.

Essentially, we’re about to start working through a formula that will help you get everything you want, one thing at a time.

(Spoiler alert: you can use this formula again and again for all future obsessions!)

Now, it’s no secret that obsession has a not-so-nice reputation. But we’re about to change that. To reframe it. To associate the word “obsession” with powerfully positive concepts that can (and will) make all the difference in getting you from where you are right this second to where you’d absolutely love to be.

Because, when it’s channeled intentionally, obsession is really just a one-word way to describe the unstoppable combination of ambition, focus, determination, and discipline (with just the right amount of ballsy fuck-it-ness thrown in) that will propel you and your dream forward quicker than you ever thought possible.

Choosing to make a project or goal your obsession is your way of declaring, both to yourself and to others, that what you want is important and meaningful enough to stop messing around. It’s your way of saying, “This is my top priority,” and actually meaning it. It’s a commitment to doing the work, even when it’s challenging. Especially when it’s challenging. It’s a commitment to building solid habits and restructuring your schedule to support your true priority. In a nutshell, obsession is doing whatever it takes to move from a place where you’re all, “Man, I wish I could do that, but wah wah excuses” to “Woah, LOOK WHAT I JUST DID!!”

These days, there’s a lot of talk about “life balance,” and it’s my firm belief that you can have everything you want over the course of a lifetime, but that you can’t have everything you want at the exact same time. Why? Because there are a finite amount of hours in the day and a set number of days in the week and, most importantly, there’s a limit to our creative and mental energy. You might have 10 big goals you’d like to accomplish, but it’s simply not possible to have 10 priorities at once.

A priority needs to be exactly that - a priority - and the only way to truly make something a priority is to give it more attention than everything else.

And that’s where the power of obsession comes in.

Because, hey, I know there are a lot of things you want to be and do (I’m the same way!) and I also know that it can be challenging to come to terms with the fact that we’re not superheroes and, therefore, we aren’t able to successfully tackle eleventy thousand things at once (especially when we’re fed a constant message that we should be able to “do it all”, whatever that means), but accepting our limitations can be an exceptionally empowering thing. When you shift your mindset into one where you can identify a true priority out of your big list of goals and dreams, you’ll be able to harness the power of obsession and accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

Which is exactly why I created The Obsession Formula.

Over the years, I’ve turned some big obsessions of my own into reality. I moved to a new city with only a couple hundred dollars and no plan, and wound up co-owning a successful web design firm that fully supported my business partner and me while we worked from home for four years. I then shifted focus to my personal obsessions and, one by one, I quit drinking, started running after a life of complete inactivity, broke my sugar addiction, switched to a plant-based diet, and left my full-time job to start my own business and podcast.

And look, I’m just a regular girl who harnessed the power of obsession to make shit happen for herself, and I have no doubt that you can (and will) do the same with your own obsession(s).

The mindset shifts, tools, strategies, and personal stories I’ll share with you in this program are all geared toward one thing: helping you push yourself to be the absolute best you can be, and that all starts with you fully stepping into your obsession.

As we move through the next 28 days, I’ll be asking a lot of you. There is work to be done every single day, but this work is an investment in yourself and in what you say you want more than anything in the world. So, do the work, okay? Show up.

In return, I promise that I won’t waste your time with shit that doesn’t matter, which is why I’m not giving you a ton of videos to watch or other busy-work crap to do. In short: I’m committed to giving you everything you need and nothing you don’t.

Because again, the focus here isn’t on doing a bunch of stuff just for the sake of being busy. The focus is on you taking action and doing your work - the work it takes to bring your obsession to life. And I am honored and fired up about walking beside you each and every step of the way.

xoNicole

INSIDE THIS WORKBOOK YOU’LL FIND…1. The four rules you need to follow in order to succeed with this program

2. The four founding principles of obsession-ing that you’ll find yourself reading again and again to move past obstacles and feel good about the work you’re doing

3. The six simple worksheets you’ll be completing over the course of the program (See? Not 50 worksheets - just six.)

4. A master checklist for the entire 28 days (so you know what’s happening and when), plus a simple planning template that will really help you out

Okay, let’s go!

“The only thing that is distinctly different about me is that I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked, period.

You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me. But if we get on the treadmill

together, there’s two things that can happen: either you’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple. So let’s go back to what I do when people reject me: I’m either going to get back in, or I’m going to die. The majority of people who aren’t getting the things they want, or aren’t achieving the things they want, is strictly based on hustle. It’s strictly based on being outworked, on missing crucial opportunities. If you stay ready, you don’t have to

get ready.”

- Will Smith

THE OBSESSION FORMULA: 28-DAY CHALLENGE RULES (FOLLOW THESE AND YOU’LL BE GOLDEN!)Rule #1 - No Assholes AllowedFirst thing’s first: In order to succeed in this program, you can’t treat yourself like crap. You can’t be mean to yourself when things don’t go according to plan, because guess what? This is real life and plans fall apart all the time. As Mike Tyson said: “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.” So no matter what happens, you are hereby forbidden from being overly critical and harsh with yourself, okay? You can’t belittle your accomplishments just because there are other people out there who are already doing what you want to do. Success isn’t like cake - there’s no such thing as someone grabbing the very last piece.

Honestly, I think we’re all guilty of negative self-talk sometimes (me included!), but the bottom line is that treating yourself badly just doesn’t work. Do you know anyone who feels better when they’re treated like crap? Anyone who performs better after they’ve been cut down and emotionally abused? I don’t. So stop doing that to yourself, please!

I mean, think about it. Imagine if your best friend, who was also pursuing her own obsession, came to you in the midst of a really tough week where things weren’t going well and she was feeling frustrated and angry and disappointed. Would you yell at her and tell her she’s lazy and that she might as well quit? Of course not. And yet the things we say to ourselves are often far worse - but that stops now. If you’re going to find success in this program, you’re going to have to get on board with the “no assholes allowed” rule. Seriously: Check your inner asshole at the door. And during the next 28 days (and beyond) when this inner asshole tries to sneak back in, I give you full permission to kick her in the face or throw him out the door.

Rule #2 - You DO Have TimeThe most common excuse I hear for why people aren’t doing what they truly want to be doing is this: “I don’t have enough time!” Guess what? That’s bullshit. Everyone in the world has the same 168 hours per week and the same 24 hours per day. So when you say: “I don’t have enough time”, what you’re really saying is: “That’s not enough of a priority to me” and “I don’t care about that enough to do what needs to be done to make it happen”. And one of my top goals for you with this program is to help you realize that 1) you do have time for your obsession, and 2) you can move the needle forward really quickly by just doing a little bit of work on your obsession each day. Remember: what you do every day matters way more than what you only do once in a while.

Rule #3 - Know Your “Why”I’m just going to be as blunt as possible about this: you’ll never be successful if you don’t have an emotional connection to your goals. Or, better said, you can be successful without that

connection, but your accomplishments won’t feel good. We’ve all been there, to that place where you manage to accomplish something you said you wanted to accomplish, but it just doesn’t feel all that fulfilling. More often than not, it’s because you were doing what you thought you “should” do instead of what you truly wanted to do, and that shit’s not the same.

Now, because you’ve made the investment in yourself to join this program, I’m going to assume that the obsession you’re pursuing is one that you really do want, which is a great first step. (High fives for you!) The next step though, and the one that most people miss, is to press pause for a minute and identify your “why.” Why do you want what you say you want? Why this goal instead of all of the others that are floating around in your head?

The best way to capture this is to do it on paper, and even though I know that exercises like this can seem silly, they’re not. I know it’s so tempting to just skim over things like this and say, “Oh, I’ll come back to this” or “I don’t really need to write this down”, but writing it down will make all the difference. So right now, before you read on, use the blank space below and write: “I am [insert your obsession here] because…” Then give yourself five minutes of free-writing time to get to know your “why”, and keep that “why” visible over the next 28 days and beyond. Add to it whenever you want and know that your “why” is what will pull you through when things get tough - and they will get tough. That’s the reality of going after something you really want, but once you’re armed with your “why”, you can handle it.

[5-Minute Free-Write]

I am ____________________ because:

Rule #4 - Done Is Better Than PerfectAs of right this very minute, you are no longer a perfectionist. Do you hear me? Instead, you are now officially a recovering perfectionist.

Gone are the days where you think: “Well, I can’t do this absolutely perfectly, so I’m not going to do it at all”. Because, ugh, perfectionism is the worst, isn’t it?

You know what I’m talking about. The overwhelming fear of not being good enough that leads to intense procrastination and inaction because if it’s not going to be perfect and if we’re not going to live up to the (unrealistic) benchmarks we’ve decided we need to reach in order to be successful, then what’s the point of doing it at all?

(Sound familiar??)

But, honestly, those unrealistic benchmarks we set for ourselves are the craziness. Not only will we never meet them (because, uh, they’re crazy), we shouldn’t even try to meet them - because perfection is a myth. It just doesn’t exist - which is why it’s 100% banned from this 28-day challenge.

Got it? Good.

So, to recap, here are your four rules one more time:

1. No Assholes Allowed

2. You DO Have Time

3. Know Your “Why”

4. Done Is Better Than Perfect

Now let’s delve into the four principles of obsession-ing, shall we?

OBSESSION-ING PRINCIPLE #1: LET’S TALK ABOUT FEAR, BABYOh, fear.

Fear sits in the driver’s seat of every single excuse we have for why we’re not doing what we know we want to do. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what other people will think, fear of not being good enough, fear of getting what we want and still being unhappy, fear of getting what we want and loving it and then not being able to take things to the next level, etc. etc. - the list goes on and on.

Would it be nice to be less fearful? Maybe. But I honestly don’t believe that’s going to happen. Not for me, not for you, not for anyone. Why? Because fear is inevitable. It’s a deeply ingrained biological response to things that are new and different. We’re programmed to be cautious and risk-averse, because that’s how we stay alive. And hey, that’s great! I love being alive! And I love that I can trust fear to trigger my fight-or-flight response when it’s really necessary. It’s pretty darn fantastic that our instincts will alert us to situations that might truly be threatening, isn’t it?

The problem, however, is that our biological fear response hasn’t evolved as quickly as our lifestyle. Setting out to write a book if you’ve never written a book before might be new and different and terrifying, but it isn’t quite the same as encountering a huge and unfamiliar wild animal in the woods. And yet, our bodies often respond the same way. We immediately (and often subconsciously) think: “This is new and scary! I need to stay safe! I must avoid anything that’s potentially risky!”, which is great when you’re up against a saber-toothed tiger, but not so great when you’re just trying to write your damn book already.

But even though fear can be frustrating and paralyzing, fearlessness isn’t the goal - not now, not ever. Instead, your goal is to be able to recognize fear in real time, articulate what (specifically) you’re afraid of, and then consciously move that fear to the back of your mind. To be able to say: “Okay, fear, I see you. I’ve heard your opinion, but I’m actually going to try something different today and see how it goes.”

In that way, we’re not erasing fear (which is more or less impossible anyway), and instead we’re doing something much more useful: Taking the crippling power of fear away by owning it instead of hiding from it.

So, how do we yank our power back from fear so that we can use it to our advantage? By answering a few questions that, although they seem simple, can be revolutionary if they’re answered with brutal honesty.

I’m referring to the “Screw Fearlessness - It’s a Myth!” worksheet that you’ll be completing over

the next few days, which is the first in a series of simple (but powerful) worksheets you’ll be using throughout this program. I say that they’re simple because the questions and exercises they contain aren’t some new and groundbreaking thing. I’m not going to reveal some mystery secret of the universe that’s been holding you back this entire time - because guess what? That secret doesn’t exist. So the worksheets are simple, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy. Especially not if you really spend time thinking through your answers and cutting through the bullshit knee-jerk-reaction answer that often comes to mind right away.

So try to get as honest as possible with these worksheets, because that’s what will help you the most. And you know what else will help, even though it feels scary and vulnerable? Sharing your worksheet results with someone else. This 28-day challenge lends itself incredibly well to a system of accountability buddies, so I encourage you to invite a friend or two to join you. Or, if you don’t have someone else who’s actually going to go through the program with you, just having someone to talk through some of this deeper stuff with can be unbelievably helpful. It might feel weird at first, to be vulnerable like that, but I promise you that it’s worth it.

OBSESSION-ING PRINCIPLE #2: WHAT WOULDA PRO DO?Of all the strategies, tools, and “hacks” (ugh) I tried on the journey to making my own obsessions a reality, none were more powerful than deciding to treat myself like a pro.

This decision - to stop dicking around and actually take your obsession seriously - will be your true turning point.

Before you get freaked out though, let me assure you that being a pro has nothing to do with skills or money or with how long you’ve been working at your obsession. Being a pro comes down to one single thing: ACTING LIKE A PRO. And that’s exactly what we’re going to be focusing on.Let’s get into this a little bit more.

When we talk about goals and dreams, it’s often using the language of “doing”, where the focus is on the accomplishment itself and on the actions that need to be taken to achieve it. Is this important? Yes, because goals are only reached through action. In fact, this entire program has been created with an action-bias and with a founding belief in how much you can accomplish when you obsessively commit to doing one small task at a time. But doing the tasks - doing the work - isn’t actually the first step. And, as surprising as this may sound, it isn’t the most important step either. No, the most important step when making a change in your life, and when you’re turning a big project or goal into reality, is to focus not just on doing that thing, but on being the person for whom that thing is inevitable.

Let me give you an example.

When I first started running, back in May 2011, I was a complete and total newbie; an amateur in every sense of the word. I could barely run for two minutes without stopping. I had no idea what to wear, how to breathe properly, when to drink water, or anything else about running - and my goal of completing a half marathon seemed like a hilarious impossibility. Running multiple times a week was a brand new habit for me, and it seemed like every day was its own Everest as I struggled to get myself to do what I knew I needed to do to accomplish my goal.

Through this process, I realized that the most important part of achieving any goal isn’t working toward the goal itself, it’s switching your mindset so that you believe you’re already someone who does X thing. Slowly, I pushed myself to transition from thoughts like, “I’m trying to train for my first half marathon” to “I am a runner” - regardless of how slow I was going and how many walk breaks I was taking. The result? When you switch to thinking of yourself as a person who would do what you’re trying to do without hesitation, you stop messing around. For me, that meant using my obsession (running) as a compass for all of my other decisions, and saying “no” to things that would sabotage my running efforts. I was a runner, after all, and that meant not

staying out late every night and not eating like crap every day. It meant developing a regular sleep schedule, buying comfortable running gear, and building a habit of running at the same time each day, etc.

Because here’s the thing: When you consciously become the person you need to be in order to do what you want to do, it changes how you deal with obstacles. Whereas in the past you might have come up against an obstacle and used it as an excuse to quit, quitting is no longer an option. Once I started thinking of myself as a runner, it didn’t matter that it was raining or that I didn’t feel like running on any given morning - I just went out and ran anyway. Quitting was off the table, so I didn’t have to waste time considering it as an option. Instead, I would come up against an obstacle and think: “Well, I’m obviously going to get past this, so okay, how am I going to do that?” Which, as you can imagine, is totally different from my previous inner talk of: “Oh, it’s hot outside, that’s a good enough reason to skip today’s run”.

In short, I was building the habits of a professional instead of the habits of an amateur and that made all the difference.

This concept of switching your mindset isn’t new, and it’s actually the focus of one of my all-time favorite books: “Turning Pro” by Steven Pressfield. I highly recommend it!

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OBSESSION-ING PRINCIPLE #3: CONGRATS, YOU’RE A RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST!I said it before and I’ll say it again (and again and again): perfectionism has no place in this challenge or in your life. And, given that you’re an official challenge participant now, that means that you’re also officially a recovering perfectionist. (Hooray!)

The good news here is that conquering perfectionism is a skill you can learn and practice and improve on, just like anything else, and right now I want to share my four favorite ways to beat perfectionism to a pulp.

#1 - Do more stuff

The trap of perfectionism occurs when we’re so scared of messing up that we don’t even start in the first place. So instead, we procrastinate. Procrastination is a symptom of perfectionism, which is really just a symptom of fear, and the first step to overcoming it is to just do more stuff. The more you do, the less scary it’ll be; it’s a matter of volume. Sounds simple, but it really helps. The more regularly you take action on your obsession (both during this program and afterward), the less scary each individual action will be because there won’t be so much pressure on each step to be “perfect”.

And listen, I’m not saying you should do shitty work, but focusing on quantity over quality at the beginning can be really helpful. There’s something very empowering about just churning out a first draft or even a first page - regardless of whether or not any of those words make it into the final version, you know? Just keep writing words. Push through. Do more stuff.

#2 - Leave the room

So much of perfectionism comes from comparing ourselves to other people - especially online. We see so-and-so getting a book deal and we think: “Oh, I’ll never be able to have that”, so we shut down and our manuscript never even leaves our brain. Comparison and competition fuel perfectionism and the thing that works for me with this is to just leave the room, so to speak. If you’re constantly comparing yourself to someone on Twitter, stop following that person. Close Twitter and Facebook and Pinterest. Stop subscribing to blogs that, for whatever reason, make you feel inferior. Stop worrying that you’ll offend someone by doing this and start being more concerned with YOU. Remember: You have complete control over what you let into your life - and it’s time to start exercising the hell out of that control.

#3 - Start Seeing Rainbows

At its core, perfectionism is a belief that the world is black and white. That things are either good or bad, that you’re either a success or a failure, that you’re good enough or you’re not. But this just isn’t true. There’s a huge colorful spectrum for everything and it’s time we start seeing the world that way. For example, with the black and white mindset, we eat a food that we think is “bad” and then we say: “Well, I’ve had one bad thing, which means I’ve messed everything up, which means I’ve failed, and so I might as well eat 12 more ‘bad’ things and start over again tomorrow - and tomorrow I’ll eat perfectly”. Sound familiar? Yeahhhh. I call this “The 12 Cookie Syndrome”, and I promise that this kind of thinking isn’t doing you any favors.

Situations like this are simply a case of that black and white perfectionism talking, but I promise you that seeing things as strictly “success” or “failure” with no in-between isn’t the only option. It isn’t even an accurate option! So, next time you fall into the oh-so-familiar black and white mind-trap, I want you to challenge yourself to come up with two or three other options outside of the usual black and white ones, and focus on those instead.

#4 - Watch Your Language

If you tell yourself something over and over again, it becomes your reality. If you keep saying you’re a perfectionist, you will be. So, hey, let yourself off the hook, okay? Stop telling yourself you’re a perfectionist and start telling yourself something much more deliciously fulfilling instead. Tell yourself that done is better than perfect. Tell yourself you’re going to do whatever your “it” is, even if you’re not “ready”. Even if you don’t have all the i’s dotted in your “perfect” plan.

Because, honestly? The only truly perfect plan is the one you actually do - the one that gets you and your work out into the world, which is exactly where you’re meant to be.

OBSESSION-ING PRINCIPLE #4: PROCRASTINATION (OR: “OH, I’LL JUST DO THIS LATER…”)Next time you hear yourself saying: “Oh, I’ll just do this later…”, I want you to stop right there. Seriously, if you aren’t willing to do it now, what makes you think you’ll want to do it later? And yet, when we procrastinate we tell ourselves stuff like this all the time.

Since procrastination is something that so many of us deal with, I want to share the personal strategies that help me stop putting things off and (as Nike would say) “just do it” already.

Step 1 - Identify your real fear

To start, the first thing you need to know about procrastination is that it is always a symptom of fear. This means that the first step to overcoming it is to get real with yourself about what you’re afraid of and finally name your fear. When you begin to procrastinate, ask yourself: “What am I really afraid of?”

Maybe it’s a fear of being uncomfortable, because you know that the hard work that’s required for your thing will be uncomfortable. Maybe it’s a fear of what people will think. Maybe it’s a fear of going after something and falling short. Maybe it’s a fear of succeeding and then actually having to raise the bar and keep measuring up from there. Maybe it’s just a fear of not knowing what to do next. Regardless of what your fear is, you need to name it - that’s step 1.

Step 2 - Accept your fear, but don’t give it too much power

Once you know what you’re afraid of, it’s time to accept that fear. Pretending it doesn’t exist or telling yourself that you “shouldn’t” be afraid or that your fear is silly won’t help - it’ll only make you feel like shit. Instead, try saying something this to yourself: “Okay, so I’m afraid that I’ll look stupid if things don’t work out. That’s fine. That’s a totally normal way to feel. My fear is real, but my fear isn’t in charge of what happens next.” Don’t give your fear control over your life. You might not think you can control whether or not fear takes the reins, but you can - and change only happens once you accept full responsibility for yourself and your life.

Step 3 - Make an “undesirable consequences” list

Sit down and make a list of all the undesirable consequences of NOT doing the thing you’re putting off. Will you waste money or time if you keep procrastinating? Will you suffer anxiety and guilt? Will you let someone down? Will it mean you aren’t living with integrity? Write it all down and keep that list where you can see it. Remember: these are the inevitable consequences of continuing to procrastinate and they will always be worse than just getting the thing over with.

Obviously, no one can guarantee you that working on your “thing” will always lead to success, but there’s a 100% guarantee that not working on it will always lead to feelings of failure. Which is why the undesirable consequences list is so helpful, because it reminds you of how shitty you’ll feel if you continue procrastinating on your thing.

Step 4 - Write an alien-friendly “how-to” guide

Okay, let’s say that a friendly little alien landed right in front of you, right now, for the sole purpose of taking the task/project you’re procrastinating on and doing it for you. The catch? This alien doesn’t understand the project at all, so you’ll need to provide her with a clear plan of action for exactly how to accomplish the task and you’ll have to break the big project down into as many small, simple pieces as possible.

Once you’ve done that, congratulations, you don’t need the alien after all, because you now have a non-overwhelming, non-crazy plan of exactly what to do next, which is what we’re often missing (and therefore, why we’re procrastinating) in the first place.

Step 5 - Break the seal

Just start. Set your timer for 13 minutes and work on your thing like mad for those 13 minutes. You don’t need to carve out three hours or even one hour. Just start with 13 minutes and see what happens. C’mon, you can do virtually anything for 13 minutes. (Psst, these 13-minute sessions are the entire foundation for this program, which I’ll tell you about a bit later.)

Step 6 - Recognize when a new wave of procrastination is about to hit

You’ll know it’s coming when you find yourself thinking things like, “I don’t really feel like doing this now...” or “I’ll have time for this tomorrow” or “I’ll just check my email one more time”. When this happens, stop the flow of self-sabotaging thoughts and immediately commit to a 13-minute work window.

Step 7 - Stop making it so easy to procrastinate in the first place

Guess what? If something isn’t working for you, you can change it. Which is why it’s time to learn what procrastination looks like for you. Is it scrolling through Facebook? Cleaning and organizing your desk? Watching Netflix? Doing “more research”? Making a snack? Figure out your main sources of procrastination and challenge yourself to change your environment to prevent them. (For example, if you procrastinate on the internet, you might try working from a place without wifi for a change.)

Step 8 - Ask yourself: “How can this be simpler?”

We overcomplicate things so much, don’t we? In fact, layering on all the bells and whistles is what often forces a project to come to a grinding halt in the first place, because we’ve made the project into something so daunting that we don’t have a clue what to do next. Here’s what to do next: eliminate everything that’s non-essential by asking yourself: “How can this be simpler?” Simple is powerful. Get to the heart of your thing, do it well, and remember that done is better than perfect. You can always add those bells and whistle back in at a later date.

Step 9 - Create a reward system for yourself

This is the last piece of the procrastination puzzle and it’s an important one. Working up the courage to do something you’re afraid of is a big challenge and a tough ask, and once you do it you need to celebrate, even if it’s just in a small way. Celebration is an often overlooked part of the achievement process (we’re always wondering “what’s next?” instead of appreciating what we’ve already done) but if you can get in the habit of promising yourself a reward for reaching different benchmarks of your thing, you’ll a) have something to look forward to, and b) give yourself a chance to really appreciate your accomplishments along the way.

NOW WHAT? NOW, IT’S TIME TO COMMIT!Are you ready? Because it’s time for you to FULLY commit to this program.

On the surface, it’s easy to laugh at this step. To say, “Of course I’m committed to my obsession. Do you think I would have made the investment in myself to join this program if I wasn’t committed? Please.” But there are different levels of commitment, and this is the part where you go as deep as you can go. It sounds simple, but it’s insanely powerful.

Honestly, I’m convinced that there has never been a time in history where it was more challenging to make a commitment than it is today. Why? Because there are just too many choices and options all around us, all the time, and committing to something means you’re selecting just one of those options which, by default, means you’re closing the door on all the other options - at least for now. And, hey, that can feel scary, because it makes you wonder: “Am I making the right choice? The best commitment? What if it turns out that I’m wasting my time? That a different choice would have turned out better?” In essence, we’re constantly asking ourselves whether or not the grass would be greener over there in the pasture of a different commitment.

And those are all valid questions and common fears. But I want to flip them on their head for a second and point out the very best thing about making a commitment: You no longer have to waste time thinking about other options. There’s an insane amount of freedom that comes

from making a decision. Once you commit to something - and I mean fully commit - you’re free from overanalyzing other possibilities.

One of my favorite explanations of this comes from Barry Schwartz’s book, “The Paradox of Choice”, in which he explains the benefit of nonreversible decisions. Barry writes:

“I think the power of nonreversible decisions comes through most clearly when we think about our most important choices. A friend once told me how his minister had shocked the congregation with a sermon on marriage in which he said flatly that, yes, the grass is always greener. What he meant was that, inevitably, you will encounter people who are younger, better looking, funnier, smarter, or seemingly more understanding or empathetic than your wife or husband. But finding a life partner is not a matter of comparison shopping and ‘trading up’. The only way to find happiness and stability in the presence of seemingly attractive and tempting options is to say, ‘I’m simply not going there. I’ve made a decision about a life partner, so this person’s empathy or that person’s looks really have nothing to do with me. I’m not in the market - end of story.’ Agonizing over whether your love is ‘the real thing’ or your sexual relationship above or below par, and wondering whether you could have done better is a prescription for misery. Knowing you’ve made a choice that you will not reverse allows you to pour your energy into improving the relationship that you have rather than constantly second-guessing it.”

Damn, right? When I first read that passage, I felt like Barry had just smacked me in the face with truth. His example is about relationships, obviously, but the exact same thing happens when you make your dream/goal your priority and your true obsession. As soon as you say, “I am committed to seeing this goal through to the end, no matter what”, you’re free to do exactly that. Other opportunities aren’t an option you’re going to consider right now, so your only choices become saying a flat-out “no” to them, or adding them to a back-burner list of things you’ll look at again and reevaluate in the future, once you’ve completed this current goal.

And, listen, I know that this is easier said than done. I know that there will be lots of points along the road to achieving your goal where you question whether it’s the right goal - but 99 times out of 100, that’s just fear and self-doubt talking. Because, truthfully, how can you know how you really feel about something until you’ve finished it? I couldn’t honestly evaluate how it felt to run a half marathon until I ran my first half marathon. During the training, I told myself that if I decided not to run a second one after that, fine. If I decided to keep going, that would be fine too. But I wasn’t in a position to make that call just yet, so I might as well stop worrying about it and just keep training. The key here is that you’re committing to your current goal and seeing it through.

And hey, if you want an extra nudge to help you solidify your commitment, you can try my Three Alarms Exercise. It’s fun! Here’s how that works:

Right now, pull out your phone and set three different alarms for random times over the next 24 hours. Then, each time the alarm goes off, I want you to say the following phrase out loud, even if it makes you feel silly (hell, especially if it makes you feel silly):

“I am fully committed to [insert your obsession here], and I will overcome every fear and obstacle that pops up.”

It might sound ridiculous, but affirmations like this are really powerful. If you’ve used affirmations before, you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, this is a great chance to push yourself to try something different. I mean, that’s why you’re here, right? You obviously want different results, and in order to get different results, you need to be willing to experiment with different methods.

IT’S TIME TO GET TO WORKNow that you’ve fully committed, and now that you know the rules of the challenge and the powerful topics we’ll be diving into, it’s time to start taking action.

In a minute, I’m going to give you the 28-Day Master Checklist, which lays out the format for this entire program and tells you exactly what to do and when to do it. Before that though, I want to go into more detail about the foundation of the program, or what I call the 13-minute action window.

13-MINUTE ACTION WINDOWThe foundation of The Obsession Formula is this: you spend 13 minutes per day, every single day, doing high-impact work on your obsession.

Now, first of all, I know right off the bat what you’re thinking. You’re either thinking: “But 13 minutes isn’t enough time to make real progress!” Or you’re thinking: “Wait, I have to work on my obsession every single day?!” Or maybe you’re thinking both of those things at the same time. If so, congratulations, you’re just like everyone else who has ever used this method, ha :)

But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I need you to trust me for the next 28 days. You might not believe it now, but you can move the needle so far forward with just 13 minutes per day. In 13 minutes a day, you can create entire programs for your business (I have!) or write a complete book of personal essays (my friend did!) or virtually anything else. If you eliminate all distractions, set a timer for 13 minutes, and do focused work for 13 minutes per day every single day, your obsession will be so much richer 28 days from now. You will have cleared the cobwebs off your dream, pushed through the fear of getting started, and so much more. 13 minutes per day works.

You’ll notice, though, that I said you’ll be doing 13 minutes of high impact work on your obsession each day, so I want to take a moment and clarify what that means. High impact action steps are ones that will actually make a difference by moving you forward. Translation: not busy work. Responding to email isn’t a high impact action step. Doing endless amounts of “research” isn’t a high impact action step. In order for something to be high impact, it has to actually help you get to the next level, even if it’s just one tiny bit at a time.

Got it? Awesome.

Lastly, you might be wondering what you should do if you really get in a groove and want to work on your obsession for longer than 13 minutes on any given day. That’s fine, obviously! No one is going to swoop in and force you to stop working on the thing you love, and I often find that a

focused 13 minutes is the perfect gateway to longer and incredibly fulfilling sessions of work. But, please please remember that you don’t need to do more than 13 minutes. Also, remember that the goal is 13 minutes every single day for 28 days and that you don’t want to burn yourself out by working for nine straight hours on day one.

So, with all of that said, we’re almost ready to move onto the 28-Day Master Checklist, which will double as the planning template for your action steps. (Hooray to the ease of having everything in one place!)

But first, I have some personal thoughts to share - reflections from my own obsession projects. I hope they make you feel less alone.

After that, you’ll find the checklist, followed by your six worksheets. My suggestion is to print the checklist and worksheets right now (if you haven’t already) so that you have everything at your fingertips when you need it.

So here’s to obsession and to 28 days of making yourself a priority!

BONUS SECTIONNOTES FROM MY PERSONAL OBSESSIONS

Over the years, I’ve danced with a lot of different obsessions. Some of them have turned into the exact reality I envisioned, some of them turned out different and better, some of them totally failed, and there were even a few that I let go of once I realized they weren’t actually a good fit for me. Which is to say that I’ve been up and down and all over the pursuit of obsession and I feel like there’s a lot that I’ve learned along the way.

Today I want to pause for a few minutes and share some of these notes and lessons with you, in the hope that they’ll be helpful and that they’ll make you feel less alone on your own journey.

Here’s to a lifetime of joyful obsession-ing!

xo

Nicole

On Getting BoredWe are never more fired up about something than we are during the vision-mapping stage. At this time, everything is bright and shiny and filled with possibility, and we haven’t yet encountered a single obstacle or hardship. Things feel light and free and fun, and we’re exploding with motivation.

Armed with this motivation, we set off on the path toward our obsession. Things feel great! We’re making progress! Look at us go! And this continues on for a little while, but eventually that dazzling shine starts to fade. We realize that the day-to-day truth of making our obsession a reality isn’t exciting all the time. We get sick or busy, and things get off track a little bit. “Hmph,” we think. “This isn’t as much fun as it was at the beginning.”

In short, we’re bored. And thank goodness, because this means we’re finally out of fantasy-land and can start to see our obsession for what it really is. So often, we tell ourselves that things have to be So! Much! Fun! all the time in order to be the right things for us. Guess what? That’s not how shit works. No matter how much you love something, you won’t love it all the time. Being bored is just one of many feeling states you’ll hit as you pursue the different obsessions in your life, and it doesn’t have to “mean” anything.

In fact, that’s one of the most powerful lessons I’ve had to learn - the fact that feeling a certain

way doesn’t have to “mean” anything other than that that’s how I feel that day. I used to get so panicky whenever I’d experience boredom or discomfort or overwhelm. I’d think, “Surely this isn’t the right goal for me if it’s not making me feel good.” And while that’s absolutely true in a bigger picture sense (if you hate something all the time, stop doing it!), it’s not true on the day-to-day level. On the day-to-day level, sometimes we feel bored. That’s fine. Sometimes we feel fantastic, and that’s fine, too. Remember: your in-the-moment feelings don’t “mean” anything unless you make them mean something.

When you’re bored, it’s a gift. A gift that reminds you that something doesn’t have to feel perfect all the time in order to be worthwhile. You can accept the boredom and then focus instead on the consistency of your actions and on deepening your commitment, because consistency and commitment are everything.

On Trade-Offs, Sacrifice, & GuiltYou cannot do all the things at the same time. “But! But!” Nope, you can’t. You can’t! Watching TV show A means you aren’t watching TV show B, at least not at that moment. Calling your mom means you aren’t calling your best friend. Using your free time in the evenings to train for a marathon means you aren’t using that time to take a creative writing class - etc. etc. etc.

Essentially, choosing to focus on one thing (your current obsession, for example) means you’re making trade-offs in how you spend your time, energy, money, and other resources. Trade-offs (also known as sacrifices) are a natural part of life, and they almost always come with some kind of guilt.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Guilt isn’t the worst thing in the world. You can feel guilty and then keep moving forward regardless. Also - and this is the most important thing to keep in mind - the more you lean into who you truly are and what you truly want, the less crippling those feelings of guilt will be.

Sure, you might feel guilty saying “no” to an invitation or request in order to focus on your self-declared priority, but over time that guilt will fade. In my experience, guilt comes from the ego - from wanting to be liked and accepted - and any time I make a choice that potentially alienates someone or makes me seem “different”, guilt pops up. But then it fades. Every time, it fades.

Bottom line: Trade-offs and sacrifices are necessary and freeing, and guilt fades.

On Support & AccountabilityStop trying to do everything all by yourself. It’s exhausting and it means you’re losing out on the fulfillment of deep connection.

While you’re pursuing your obsession, build yourself a support team. That could be as simple as

having one accountability buddy who you check in with every week, or you could create a big web of outside support for yourself. Whatever you need, ask for it. If you need help, ask for it. If you need to vent, ask for it. If you need someone to poke you every single day to get a status update on your goal, ask for it.

It takes a village, as they say.

And, on a related note, step outside of yourself and look for ways to be someone else’s support person. If a friend of yours is talking about how much she wants X, ask her if she’d like you to be her accountability partner. Don’t just ask if she needs help, because we’re so programmed to say, “Oh no, I’m fine!” So instead, say to her: “I want to help. What can I do to help make this easier and make this happen for you?”

Mutually supportive relationships where both people are pushed toward growth are incredibly fulfilling - not to mention, they help you make your obsessions a reality much faster!

On Set-BacksOn the journey toward each of your obsessions, something (usually lots of somethings) will go wrong. Your perfectly put-together plans will implode. You’ll come up against outer obstacles and inner roadblocks that feel insurmountable. And, congratulations, you’ll be just like everybody else.

A lot can be said about how to handle set-backs, but there’s really only one thing I want to emphasize and that’s this: Try leaning into the discomfort of whatever is happening. Our knee-jerk reaction is to run from pain and do everything possible to feel better, but that just gives pain (and the obstacles that cause it) even more power over us. So you hit a set-back, so what? Breathe. Relax. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. Everything is going to be fine.

Set-backs arise to teach us something. They teach us where we’re holding on too tightly and being too perfectionist-ey. They teach us what we’re overlooking. They teach us where our fear lives. They teach us that we are strong and that we can change directions and keep going.

On Getting UnstuckOver the course of bringing your obsession to life, you’re going to get off track. You’re going to get stuck. You’re going to come up against obstacles and challenges and even your own excuses time after time, and it’ll often feel like these roadblocks are insurmountable. But they’re not. They’re not.

If you’re truly committed to your obsession, you can make it a reality. It might take longer than you’d like, and the end result might look totally different from what you initially expected, but that’s 100% fine. It’s good, actually, because that means you’re letting your obsession grow/

change over time instead of forcing it to fit into a pre-determined box.

Accepting that you’re going to get stuck sometimes is key to overall success. Why? Because then you’re a lot less likely to get thrown when these feelings of being stuck inevitably come to pass.

So, okay, getting stuck happens. But... how do you get unstuck? Four words: Do something, do anything.

The easiest way to get unstuck is to start building momentum, and the way to start building momentum is to complete something - something tiny - to feel the “little win” that comes from checking something off your list. Then, once you’ve completed one small thing, complete another small thing, and then another, until eventually the momentum starts to snowball and you’re feeling positive, excited, and back on track - full-speed ahead.

And, honestly, when you’re trying to get unstuck it doesn’t really matter what you do, it just matters that you do SOMETHING.

On Negative Self-TalkPerhaps the most powerful lesson I’ve ever learned is this: We can control our thoughts.

When you notice that you’re being mean to yourself (or aggressive or overly critical), you can simply think: “STOP” and then you can replace those thoughts with more positive thoughts instead.

It sounds overly simple, I know. Believe me, I know. But it works. It’s a technique I first learned in relation to running and to the psychological side of peak athletic performance, but it translates into every other area of life as well. During a hard race, as soon as I notice my mind spiraling out of control, thinking things like: “This is too hard, I can’t sustain this pace, I’m not going to make it”, I immediately tell myself: “STOP.” Then I think: “You are strong, you are fit, you are in control” and I think that over and over until I feel better.

It takes time to train your mind, just like it takes time to learn any other skill, and I suspect I’ll be working on this in some capacity for my entire life. But the point is that it works - for me, for you, for everyone. What goes on in your mind is your responsibility, and if you don’t like it, change it.

On Juggling Multiple ObsessionsYou can’t have more than one priority at a time. Having multiple priorities goes against what the word “priority” means - a priority isn’t a priority if you have 50 of them.

But since this is the real world and not some goal-setting vacuum, we are always going to be splitting our time and energy between many different things each day. Our own self-care, our

families and friends, our work, our hobbies, our chores and responsibilities - that’s life. But just because you are engaged in multiple activities doesn’t mean you can’t have one sole priority, and truly identifying your current priority (which is really just another word for “obsession”) allows you to pivot your energy and attention in more thoughtful ways.

I’ve learned, though, that obsessions need much more energy at the beginning than they do later on. You can think of the beginning period of any obsession as the training wheels of a bicycle. You need them at the beginning, but over time they can come off. Similarly, as time goes by, your obsession goes into what I call “maintenance mode”, and you’re able to keep moving forward on it without so much energy. At that point, when your obsession has moved into maintenance mode, you’re free to choose a new priority/obsession. And on and on.

Also, it doesn’t have to be so linear, so black and white. Maybe you need to put the training wheels back on to get you through a challenging period - that’s fine. I put my healthy eating training wheels back on while traveling, and during the holiday season, even though I’m fine in maintenance mode the rest of the year. Know yourself, respect your limitations, focus on one main thing at a time, and go from there.

On Letting Go99% of the time, things turn out differently than we planned. What’s that saying? Change is the only constant? Yeah.

So, from the beginning, expect that your obsession will likely change or morph over time, because the truth is that we have no idea how we’re going to feel about something until we just start doing it. You might think you want to write an epic novel, only to find that you really want to write a memoir instead. Or you might have glorified writing so much over the years, only to find that the day-to-day reality of it isn’t jiving with you at all and isn’t making you feel the way you want to feel. Guess what? It’s okay to change obsessions. It’s okay to let things go.

On Going All-InAt some point during the pursuit of every obsession, it’s useful to take stock of how committed you really are. For me, this comes in the form of the following question:

What would you do if you weren’t holding yourself back?

Said another way: How would you behave if you were really going all in on making your obsession a reality?

I think about this a lot, about the ways in which we hold ourselves back, and sometimes when I realize all of the little self-destructive things I’m doing (usually out of fear), it makes me crazy. We’ve talked about fear a lot already, but I’m mentioning it again because I think that our fear

causes us to hold ourselves back. Fear makes us play small instead of stepping up and really going all out. Fear tells us to play it safe. To tip-toe cautiously along the line separating what we really want from what we think we can have. But what if, even for just a week, we approached things differently? What if, every morning, we asked ourselves what we would do and how we would act if we weren’t holding ourselves back? What if, just for a week, we gave ourselves permission to just fucking go for it?

Because, truthfully, it’s up to YOU to loosen the reins and really let yourself fly. Don’t overthink things. Don’t second-guess yourself. Just go for it; throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. Remember: You can always revise, edit, and scale back later. But, once in a while, give yourself permission to really let yourself dive in and completely submerge yourself in your obsession.

Push yourself. Get uncomfortable. Wave goodbye to your comfort zone. Kick your excuses in the face. As Paul Tergat, who held the world record in the marathon from 2003 - 2007, says:

“Ask yourself: ‘Can I give more?’ The answer is usually ‘Yes.’”

On Feeling GoodMy final note for you is this: Whatever your obsession is, whatever you’re building and working on, remember that that thing doesn’t define you. You’re already enough, exactly as you are, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. There’s no prize for the person who checks the most shit off a to-do list. There’s no crown for the longest resume or the thickest stack of accomplishments.

Which isn’t to say that we shouldn’t go after everything we truly want; of course we should. But the most important thing isn’t what you accomplish, it’s how you feel. All that truly matters is that you feel good, right? You don’t want to accomplish X thing just for the sake of it, you want to accomplish X thing because of how you think you’ll feel once you do. So, focus on the feelings. How do you want to feel on a daily basis? What can you do, today to feel that way? Are your obsessions bringing those feelings into your life regularly? If so, pursue them with grace and fire. If not, ditch ‘em and choose different obsessions. It all comes down to feeling good.

28-DAY MASTER CHECKLIST & PLANNING TEMPLATE

(aka: what you need to do, and when, for the next 28 days)

Instructions: print this out and keep it on hand for the next 28 days, checking each item off as you complete it

3-Day Prep Period (today, tomorrow, and the day afterward)____ Download and print this workbook ____ Read this workbook____ Complete worksheet: “Screw Fearlessness - It’s a Myth!”____ Complete worksheet: “Declaration of Commitment”____ Plan your first 3-day cycle of 13-minute action steps Note: Use the space below on Day 1, Day 2, and Day 3 to pre-plan the 13-minute action step you’re going to take each day, which will eliminate the need to decide every single day what you “feel like doing.” Then, notice that I’m assigning your action step to you on Day 4, and that that step is to complete a worksheet and to plan your next 3-day action cycle. This way, time for planning is built right in, which is why we’ll follow this 3-days of work, 1-day of planning cycle for the entire 28 days.

Day 1____ Complete this 13-minute action step:



Day 4____ Complete worksheet #3: “Done is Better Than Perfect”____ Plan your next 3-day cycle of 13-minute action steps (days 5-7)




Day 8____ Do one small thing to celebrate your first week of obsession work!____ Plan your next 3-day cycle of 13-minute action steps (days 9-11)




Day 12____ Complete worksheet #4: “What Would a Pro Do?”____ Plan your next 3-day cycle of 13-minute action steps (days 13-15)




Day 16____ Plan your next 3-day cycle of 13-minute action steps (days 17-19)




Day 20____ Complete worksheet #5: “How Can This Be Simpler?”____ Plan your next 3-day cycle of 13-minute action steps (days 21-23)




Day 24____ Plan your next 3-day cycle of 13-minute action steps (days 25-27)




Day 28____ Complete worksheet #6: “The Eff Yeah List”____ Freakin’ CELEBRATE all the progress you’ve made and how good that feels!

THE SIX WORKSHEETS

Don’t worry, the Master Checklist above tells you exactly when to do each of these worksheets. No guessing required :)

WORKSHEET #1: “SCREW FEARLESSNESS - IT’S A MYTH!”My obsession is to:

_______________________________________________________

Step 1 - Acknowledge your fears

The top 5 fears I have when I think about making my obsession a reality are:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Step 2 - Re-write your fearful story

The language we use to describe our feelings, particularly our fears, is unbelievably powerful. If you keep telling yourself that you’re afraid of failure, then that will continue to be true and will only grow stronger and stronger over time. So, for each of your top five fears above, you’re going to re-write them using different language. For example, if you wrote: “I’m afraid that I won’t be able to follow through and actually complete my book”, you can change it to: “Even if it seems daunting and impossible right now, I believe that I’ll be able to complete my book by taking one step at a time”. Want another example? If you wrote: “I’m afraid no one will sign up for the online course I’m creating”, that could be switched to say: “I’m creating a fun, useful course that people will want, love, and sign up for”.

I know this might seem a little silly/cheesy/hippie-woo-woo, but just go with it - even if you don’t believe the new statements you’re writing. Because really, you’re essentially creating personalized affirmations here, and if you read over them often enough (ideally every day, and even more ideally: out loud), they’ll change the way you think and feel about your fears.

Fear #1: _______________________________________________________

Re-Write: _______________________________________________________

Fear #2: _______________________________________________________

Re-Write: _______________________________________________________

Fear #3: _______________________________________________________

Re-Write: _______________________________________________________

Fear #4: _______________________________________________________

Re-Write: _______________________________________________________

Fear #5: _______________________________________________________

Re-Write: _______________________________________________________

WORKSHEET #2: DECLARATION OF COMMITMENT

I, ___________________________, honor myself for the time and investment I am making to turn my obsession into reality.

I commit to creating value for myself with this program by fully showing up, completing the worksheets on time, and doing one 13-minute action step per day for my obsession throughout the entire program.

I commit to being kind to myself no matter what. I commit to giving myself a fun, judgment-free environment to turn my dream into reality.

I commit to completing the worksheets, even if they feel silly, and I commit to setting aside 13 minutes per day to follow that day’s checklist of action steps.

I, ___________________________, understand that working on a big, scary goal may bring up uncomfortable emotions. If I move into emotional territory that is raw and unhealed, and if I need extra support, I commit to taking care of myself in whichever ways I need.

Above all, I commit to taking my dreams seriously, recognizing that they are a gift to me, to others, and to the world. Even if other people are already flourishing in the genre of my obsession, I commit to believing that the world needs the things that only I can bring.

___________________________ ________________________ Signature Date

WORKSHEET #3: DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT(Before diving into this worksheet, you’ll need to quickly read this short article by Sam Bennett: Overcoming Perfectionism)

My obsession is to: _____________________________________________

The two most common ways that perfectionism shows up and gets in the way of my obsession are:

1.

2.

As a recovering perfectionist, I am committed to the belief that “done is better than perfect.” I am willing to get a “C” - as Sam Bennett describes in her article - instead of killing myself for an elusive A+. With that in mind, the next time I’m faced with either of the two situations above, here’s how I’m going to earn my “C” grade:

When situation #1 occurs, I will earn a “C” by…

When situation #2 occurs, I will earn a “C” by…

http://www.creativity-portal.com/articles/sam-bennett/overcoming-perfectionism.html

WORKSHEET #4: WHAT WOULD A PRO DO?(Before diving into this worksheet, you might want to re-read the related section from earlier in the workbook.)


(I know you’ve already written out your obsession, but re-writing it over and over really helps to solidify it in your conscious and subconscious mind.)

A pro at my obsession would…. (list five habits/behaviors below)

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Of the above list, the one habit that would have the biggest impact on my obsession if I adopted it today is:

Here are a few small, specific ways I’m going to start experimenting with that habit this week:

1.

2.

3.

4.

WORKSHEET #5: HOW CAN THIS BE SIMPLER?Are you overcomplicating your obsession? Are you focusing on “what ifs” that aren’t even relevant right now? Are you convinced that you need lots of bells and whistles in order to succeed? If so, that all ends right here, right now.


If I strip it down, the one single activity/thing that sits at the heart of my obsession is:

Two ways that I am overcomplicating my obsession and getting in my own way are:

1.

2.

Going forward, here are two small, specific things that I’m going to cut from the pursuit of my obsession: (note: these can be elements of the project, habits or beliefs that lead to procrastination and hold you back, etc. - just two things you’re going to let go of and/or stop doing)

1.

2.

WORKSHEET #6: THE “EFF YEAH” LISTHere’s the truth: Most people are jerks to themselves. I know I am sometimes. I’m so supportive of my friends and family as they pursue their goals and obsessions, and it’s easy for me to be excited and proud as hell when they achieve them, but for some reason I often have trouble treating myself the same way. It’s all too easy to blow off our own achievements, isn’t it? To downplay our success and to constantly hone in on our self-identified shortcomings and failures instead. And I’ve had enough of that.

It’s enough already with the way we don’t give ourselves the credit we deserve. It’s enough already with the way we constantly compare ourselves to other people - particularly the way we compare our worst days to someone else’s best days - and it’s about time we stopped with all these self-deprecating shenanigans, isn’t it?

So, instead of focusing on what you could have done better in this program and beating yourself up, I want you to sit down and make what I call an “Eff Yeah” list. This is a list of everything you accomplished throughout the program, everything you’re proud of, and everything you need to remind yourself of to feel good about when you’re all, “I’m not doing anything with my goals oh my goddddd”.

You should include big things and small things - everything from writing X number of words to having an emotionally-charged realization that’s going to help you move forward with your obsession - basically, just list every single thing you can think of that you feel good about from the entire span of the program.

Then, when you’re done, you’ll be left with a list that’s a black and white testament to your badassery. And everyone needs one of those, right?

So, just use the next page to start creating your own “Eff Yeah” list. While you’re working on it, I want you to pay special attention to the things on the list that you’re most proud of and the things on the list that you enjoyed the most, because this will give you some fantastic insight into the types of activities and action steps you’ll want to make more space for in the coming weeks and months.

MY “EFF YEAH” LISTRepeat after me: “I’m awesome. Don’t believe me? Look at everything I did over the past 28 days!”

HI! I’M NICOLE ANTOINETTE:

• recovering self-help addict• writer of personal essays & short stories• host of the Real Talk Radio podcast• crazy cat person• big believer in the fact that we’re all just doing the best we can, and that no matter

what we’re in this together

To learn more about me and what I’m currently working on, visit NicoleAntoinette.com.

https://www.nicoleantoinette.com/stories/

https://www.nicoleantoinette.com/podcast/

https://www.nicoleantoinette.com/

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essential to your life and business just because other people do it. · 2016-09-21 · essential to your life and business just because other people do it. Why make nachos if what