14
8/9/2019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt) http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/everyday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1/14 THIRD EDITION EDITED BY Donna Lee Bowen Evelyn A. Early Becky Schulthies

Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

Page 1: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 114

THIRD EDITIONEDITED BY

Donna Lee BowenEvelyn A Early

Becky Schulthies

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 214

Illusraions Follow Pages 93 and 372

Preface o he Tird Ediion xi

Noe on ranslieraion xv

Introduction 1

Par I GENER ATIONS AN D LIFE PASSAGES

Introduction to Part I 15

1 raditional Songs from Boir Ahmad 20Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

2 Childhood and Development in Rural MoroccoCultivating Reason and Strength 24

Chrisine Nuter- El-Ouardani

3 Youth Expressions of Class and Mobility in Beirut Lebanon 39 Krisin Monroe

4 Harasiis Marriage Divorce and Companionship 49 Dawn Chaty

5 wo Weddings 55 Jenny B Whie

6 Kidneys Kinship and Muslim Ethics in Egypt 69Sherine Hamdy

7 Contested raditions Gender and Mourning Practices in Egypt 85Farha Ghannam

CONTENTS

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 314

viii Conens

Par II GENDER R ELATIONS

Introduction to Part II 105

8 Young Womenrsquos Sexuality in unisia Te Health Consequences

of Misinformation among University Students 111 Angel Foser

9 A Torny Side of Marriage in Iran 122 Erika Friedl

10 Car Culture in Contemporary Qatar 133 Andrew Gardner and Momina Zakzouk

11 Middle Eastern Masculinities in the Age of Assisted

Reproductive echnologies 143 Marcia C Inhorn

12 Few ldquoGaysrdquo in the Middle East but Signi1047297cantSame-Sex Sexuality 151

William O Beeman

13 Te ldquoRamallah Girlsrdquo Social Change in Urban Space 159 Naalie K Jensen

14 amkin Stories from a Family Court in Iran 172Ziba Mir-Hosseini

15 A New Jordanian Generation Wears the Hijab 186 Donna Lee Bowen

Par III HOME COMM UNITY AN D WORK

Introduction to Part III 203

16 Politics Politics and More Politics Youth Life Experiences

in the Gaza Strip 207 Brian K Barber

17 Islamist Activism in Jordan 224Quinan Wikorowicz

18 Democracyrsquos Collateral Damage 235Vicoria Fonan

19 Politics of Class on an Egyptian Factory Floor 245

Samer Shehaa20 ldquoMadam You Drive a Hard Bargainrdquo Selling to ourists

in unisrsquos Medina 262Simon Hawkins

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 414

Conens ix

21 Human Insecurity in Lebanon 274 Melani Cammet

22 Pedagogy Islamic Education and Life Lessons in

a Jordanian Secondary School for Girls 282Fida J Adely

23 Networks Jobs and Everyday Life in Cairo 293 Diane Singerman

Par IV ISLA M IN PRACTICE

Introduction to Part IV 303

24 Te Sound of the Divine in Daily Life 310 Krisina Nelson

25 Abu Illya and Zaka 315 Donna Lee Bowen

26 Te Hajj in Everyday Life 319Rober R Bianchi

27 Abdul Qadar and the Sheep of ʿId al- Adha 329 Donna Lee Bowen

28 ele-Preachers and alk Shows Egyptian Religious Discourse 331 Evelyn A Early

29 Su1047297sm and Everyday Ethics in urkey 351 Brian Silversein

30 ldquoCaught among the Unbelieversrdquo How Pilgrimage Shapes IraniansrsquoUnderstandings of Sectarian Difference 362

Anne H Beteridge

Par V PERFOR M ANCE AND EXPR ESSION

Introduction to Part V 387

31 Deposed Leaders Youube and the Contested Languageof Arab Uprisings 391

Becky Schulhies

32 From the Death of Sally Zahran to the rial of Hosni Mubarak

Martyrs and the January 25 Revolution 406Waler Armbrus

33 Reinserting Race as a Relevant Social Category in urkish Football 420Yağmur Nuhra Marcie Paton Donna Lee Bowen and Becky Schulhies

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 514

x Conens

34 ldquoTe Worst Disaster Is What Makes You LaughrdquoSounds of the Syrian Revolution 432

Jonahan Shannon

35 Al- Aris (Te Bridegroom) Prison Literature and Human R ights 445Salah El Ouadie ranslaed by Susan Slyomovics

36 ldquoo Mount at-iyal He Declaredrdquo Some Poetry from the Yemeni Civil War 451

Seven C Caon

37 Sad Songs of the Western Desert 455 Lila Abu- Lughod

Conribuors 461 Index 469

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 614

983145983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150

Family lie he arena or lie passage rom birh hrough circumcision adolescencemarriage and deah used o vary less by counry han i did by social group wihinand across counries For insance Bedouins and villagers hisorically lived in

exended amilies wih all he sons and wives under one roo oday economicpressures and individual preerences as well as in-counry seasonal and long-ermoreign migraion have increased he number o single-amily residences Whileamily ies remain imporan increasingly he sae privae businesses and helprom neighbors provide imporan suppor

Middle Easern youh experience a ension beween radiional de1047297niions ohe saus o youhs (hose aged welve o weny-1047297ve) and he realiy o heir livesIn previous eras young women remained wards o heir amily unil hey marriedNow ha marriage ages have shifed o he middle and lae wenies or young

women in urban areas heir need o be sel-supporing while sill considered mi-nors ied o amily makes heir saus ambiguous Young unmarried people manyo whom ace uncerainy over employmen opporuniies and marriage expeca-ions ace a grea deal o social ension as hey make choices abou wheher o re- work heir place in amily and sociey and recommi o amily values or o ollowpersonal inclinaions

Urban young people who are no ye married are orming a new subculure inpars o he Middle Eas Some are sudens some are workers Tey end on av-erage o be beter educaed han earlier generaions As in he Wes hey are eagero become acquained wih echnology and he connecions o oher worlds i o-ers Tey are working hrough ensions beween he ideniy opions available ohem rying o 1047297nd a cosmopolianism ha also 1047297s wih heir naional and ehnicaffi niies Krisin Monroe akes up he sory o young pizza deliverymen in Beiru who have no connecions o help hem She makes he poin ha differences in

Par One

GENER ATIONS AND

LIFE PASSAGES

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 714

16 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

class and naional origin have emerged alongside hisorical Lebanese disinc-ions o sec and religious communiy even as increased mobiliy in an urbanlandscape levels opporuniy coss

983138983145983154983156983144

Children are valuable and heir birh is celebraed A a seven-day naming cere-mony in radiional quarers o Cairo he newborn is shaken in a sieve while hemidwie admonishes he child o obey his or her parens As a proud American a-her oes cigars so he radiional Egypian moher disribues packes o sevenkinds o nus symbolic o eriliy o her well- wishers Some middle-class amiliesnow celebrae birhs wih ancy wrapped chocolaes ribbon- wrapped Jordan al-

monds and designer gif packages Children ensure coninuaion o he amily andcommuniy hey are as one hadih (religious radiion) saes ldquohe deligh o lierdquoFamilies doe on children and a oddler amid a group o adolescens or aduls isoverwhelmed wih affecion Chrisine Nuter-El-Ouardani in her aricle onchild developmen in rural Morocco describes how a amily socializes is chil-dren o help develop srengh and discipline Par o ha process involves learn-ing rom aduls wha is accepable behavior in relaion o oher children andaduls Parens may encourage children in pracices a home ha are a odds wihsae programs and expecaions in schools or healh clinics and children mus

navigae beween he differen worldsMuslims are expeced (no by religious commandmen bu by srong recom-mendaion) o marry and o produce progeny o increase he Muslim communiyand o bless heir own amily An unmarried person while no an anomaly sill eelssocial pressure o marry and 1047297 he ideal even hough economically she does noneed marriage since her amily members shield her rom wan or deprivaion Teamily ino which one is born he naal amily is he mos imporan social group inonersquos lie I provides proecion ood sheler income repuaion and honor

Te amily suppors he individual hrough all major lie ransiions Te am-

ily approves a spouse aids in 1047297nding a job someimes provides a home and helps oraise he grandchildren Te amily mediaes beween he individual and he ou-side world Onersquos amily name is a ready-made ideni1047297caion ha reveals boh onersquosrepuaion and onersquos access o resources Middle Easerners assume ha relaives will be avored

Onersquos posiion wihin a amily991252 wheher married single divorced widoweda paren or childless991252also de1047297nes onersquos social saus in he communiy A man isauonomous upon reaching adulhood usually eigheen bu he is expeced o sup-por boh his naal and conjugal amilies Womenrsquos legal and social adulhood aredifferen radiionally women gain saus when hey give birh o a male child andhey pour immense energy ino his upbringing When he 1047297rs son is born amongPalesinians or example he parens may be renamed991252or example ldquomoher oMuhammadrdquo and ldquoaher o Muhammadrdquo Te moher-son ie which some say ishe mos powerul relaion a woman or man will ever have is ypically a close and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 814

Inroducion o Par I 17

loving relaionship o srong dependency radiionally while daughers marry andleave he amily sons suppor heir parens alhough in recen years daughers areassuming more and more responsibiliy or heir parensrsquo suppor in old age Amongurban middle classes a womanrsquos saus is less ied o producing a male heir and

more deermined by public piey and respec gained rom her own aciviies suchas school work and communiy acion However marriage coninues o be im-mensely imporan

Te ie beween broher and siser runs a close second o he moher-son rela-ion Ideally brohers will deend a siser in need hroughou heir lives jus assisers will care or brohers as a kind o second moher Alhough a woman maymarry ou o her own naal amily she always carries is name and coninues o be close o her brohers991252someimes closer han o her husband Any misbehav-ior by a woman is a poenial source o shame o hem

Circumcision which occurs beween inancy and age en is he main rie opassage or males beween birh and marriage In counries such as Egyp andMorocco i is celebraed wih paries and congraulaions In radiional quarerso Cairo circumcision offers a sriking juxaposiion o a solemn religious evenand a carnival Young boys o be circumcised are dressed in whie in he manner oa hajji reurning rom pilgrimage Mouned on a horse he boys proceed rom hemosque a he ime o he sunse prayer Among he hrongs o amily riends andsrangers waching and cheering hem are vendors o swees and mulicolored pa-per has he later given as somehing o a consolaion prize o children who have

no been circumcised Many middle-class amilies quiely circumcise heir boys ahe clinic afer hey come home rom he hospial hey celebrae discreely wihamily and riends a home

983149983137983154983154983145983137983143983141

Marriage is a key milesone Romanic inrigues and wedding esiviies providemajor enerainmen or all Young Middle Easern men and women whisper

abou poenial spouses and wheher romanic or arranged marriages are bes Teyeagerly awai wedding paries where young and old lisen o music and enjoy Pepsioher swee drinks and pasries Even luxurious hoel weddings assume he in-ormaliy o home as children cavor and women ululae Families ake marriageseriously Mohers and auns scou marriage prospecs or heir children a allgaherings o amily and riends and check ou he amily o anyone heir child isromanically ineresed in Brohers are ofen enrused wih gahering inelligenceon prospecsrsquo repuaions Marriage is an economic conrac negoiaed by oldermales o he wo amilies Tey deermine he bride price (mahr or sadaq) paid ohe womanrsquos aher as well as clohes jewelry and urnishings o be given by eachside Te bride price ideally includes a sum o money o be se aside and paid ohe wie in case o divorce

Once he couple is ldquoengagedrdquo via a legally binding marriage conrac heymay visi each oher a home and may dae offi cially Te wedding pary and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 914

18 G983141983150983141983154 983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

consummaion may occur monhs or even years laer Afer he pary he coupleses up housekeeping ogeher Courship engagemen and marriage cusomsdiffer signi1047297canly by locaion educaion and social saus In some Berber areaso souhern Morocco he bride lives chasely wih he groomrsquos amily or monhs

beore he wedding in order o become amiliar wih he rouine o he amily AsDawn Chaty noes among some Bedouin o Oman he groom may reside wih he bridersquos amily or a period o ime o acclimae her o his presence beore moving hero his amilyrsquos complex In he wealhy sraa o Lebanon Egyp or unisia wed-ding guess wearing French designer dresses and holding glasses o Scoch whiskeycirculae around a hoel ballroom and oas he young couplersquos healh Some wed-dings are more radiional some more modern boh in wedding syle as well as inhow he marriage was conraced as Jenny Whie illusraes wih her sories owo weddings in conemporary urkey

983151983148983140 983137983143983141 983137983150983140 983140983141983137983156983144

Wihin he sheler o he amily old age is a ime o reaping wha one has sownradiionally younger aduls consul heir elders on decisions abou medical rea-mens business deals marriages and poliical alliances Responsibiliy bu no au-horiy passes o adul children A moher is ofen de aco household head longafer her husband is dead and he oldes son has gray hair

Deah is acceped as a naural par o lie Cusomarily he uneral processiono wailing women and silen men carries he shrouded body o be buried acingMecca beore he 1047297rs sunse I is radiional or he amily o receive condolencesaferward eiher in arabesque ens se up or he occasion or a home Guess readhe aiha (he 1047297rs verse o he Qur aʾn) drink ea or coffee and lisen o Qur aʾnicreciaion Women normally receive condolences during he day a home FarhaGhannam underscores he imporance o deah riuals in Egyp and how differenamily members discuss and esablish wha i means o mourn correcly

983152983137983155983155983137983143983141983155 983156983144983154983151983157983143983144 983148983145983142983141 983140983145983142983142983141983154 983141983150983156 983148983151983139983137 983148983141983155

Passages hrough lie991252childhood marriage parening old age991252are shaped by biology and sociey Te Middle Eas embroiders differen designs or he riualsmarking each sage Erika Friedlrsquos ldquoradiional Songs rom Boir Ahmadrdquo showsone design in he songs and poery wih which Iranian villagers honor passageso lie

Unil recen decades Middle Easern amilies were no bese by Wesern socialproblems such as runaway children he youh drug culure and neglec o he el-derly Indeed many in he Middle Eas sill quesion how Wesern sociey canabandon unwaned children or grandparens who need amily care Despie hisclaim o be differen rom Wesern sociey amilies in he Middle Eas have heirown moral issues in regard o amily lie One area where Middle Easern Mus-

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 2: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 214

Illusraions Follow Pages 93 and 372

Preface o he Tird Ediion xi

Noe on ranslieraion xv

Introduction 1

Par I GENER ATIONS AN D LIFE PASSAGES

Introduction to Part I 15

1 raditional Songs from Boir Ahmad 20Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

2 Childhood and Development in Rural MoroccoCultivating Reason and Strength 24

Chrisine Nuter- El-Ouardani

3 Youth Expressions of Class and Mobility in Beirut Lebanon 39 Krisin Monroe

4 Harasiis Marriage Divorce and Companionship 49 Dawn Chaty

5 wo Weddings 55 Jenny B Whie

6 Kidneys Kinship and Muslim Ethics in Egypt 69Sherine Hamdy

7 Contested raditions Gender and Mourning Practices in Egypt 85Farha Ghannam

CONTENTS

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 314

viii Conens

Par II GENDER R ELATIONS

Introduction to Part II 105

8 Young Womenrsquos Sexuality in unisia Te Health Consequences

of Misinformation among University Students 111 Angel Foser

9 A Torny Side of Marriage in Iran 122 Erika Friedl

10 Car Culture in Contemporary Qatar 133 Andrew Gardner and Momina Zakzouk

11 Middle Eastern Masculinities in the Age of Assisted

Reproductive echnologies 143 Marcia C Inhorn

12 Few ldquoGaysrdquo in the Middle East but Signi1047297cantSame-Sex Sexuality 151

William O Beeman

13 Te ldquoRamallah Girlsrdquo Social Change in Urban Space 159 Naalie K Jensen

14 amkin Stories from a Family Court in Iran 172Ziba Mir-Hosseini

15 A New Jordanian Generation Wears the Hijab 186 Donna Lee Bowen

Par III HOME COMM UNITY AN D WORK

Introduction to Part III 203

16 Politics Politics and More Politics Youth Life Experiences

in the Gaza Strip 207 Brian K Barber

17 Islamist Activism in Jordan 224Quinan Wikorowicz

18 Democracyrsquos Collateral Damage 235Vicoria Fonan

19 Politics of Class on an Egyptian Factory Floor 245

Samer Shehaa20 ldquoMadam You Drive a Hard Bargainrdquo Selling to ourists

in unisrsquos Medina 262Simon Hawkins

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 414

Conens ix

21 Human Insecurity in Lebanon 274 Melani Cammet

22 Pedagogy Islamic Education and Life Lessons in

a Jordanian Secondary School for Girls 282Fida J Adely

23 Networks Jobs and Everyday Life in Cairo 293 Diane Singerman

Par IV ISLA M IN PRACTICE

Introduction to Part IV 303

24 Te Sound of the Divine in Daily Life 310 Krisina Nelson

25 Abu Illya and Zaka 315 Donna Lee Bowen

26 Te Hajj in Everyday Life 319Rober R Bianchi

27 Abdul Qadar and the Sheep of ʿId al- Adha 329 Donna Lee Bowen

28 ele-Preachers and alk Shows Egyptian Religious Discourse 331 Evelyn A Early

29 Su1047297sm and Everyday Ethics in urkey 351 Brian Silversein

30 ldquoCaught among the Unbelieversrdquo How Pilgrimage Shapes IraniansrsquoUnderstandings of Sectarian Difference 362

Anne H Beteridge

Par V PERFOR M ANCE AND EXPR ESSION

Introduction to Part V 387

31 Deposed Leaders Youube and the Contested Languageof Arab Uprisings 391

Becky Schulhies

32 From the Death of Sally Zahran to the rial of Hosni Mubarak

Martyrs and the January 25 Revolution 406Waler Armbrus

33 Reinserting Race as a Relevant Social Category in urkish Football 420Yağmur Nuhra Marcie Paton Donna Lee Bowen and Becky Schulhies

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 514

x Conens

34 ldquoTe Worst Disaster Is What Makes You LaughrdquoSounds of the Syrian Revolution 432

Jonahan Shannon

35 Al- Aris (Te Bridegroom) Prison Literature and Human R ights 445Salah El Ouadie ranslaed by Susan Slyomovics

36 ldquoo Mount at-iyal He Declaredrdquo Some Poetry from the Yemeni Civil War 451

Seven C Caon

37 Sad Songs of the Western Desert 455 Lila Abu- Lughod

Conribuors 461 Index 469

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 614

983145983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150

Family lie he arena or lie passage rom birh hrough circumcision adolescencemarriage and deah used o vary less by counry han i did by social group wihinand across counries For insance Bedouins and villagers hisorically lived in

exended amilies wih all he sons and wives under one roo oday economicpressures and individual preerences as well as in-counry seasonal and long-ermoreign migraion have increased he number o single-amily residences Whileamily ies remain imporan increasingly he sae privae businesses and helprom neighbors provide imporan suppor

Middle Easern youh experience a ension beween radiional de1047297niions ohe saus o youhs (hose aged welve o weny-1047297ve) and he realiy o heir livesIn previous eras young women remained wards o heir amily unil hey marriedNow ha marriage ages have shifed o he middle and lae wenies or young

women in urban areas heir need o be sel-supporing while sill considered mi-nors ied o amily makes heir saus ambiguous Young unmarried people manyo whom ace uncerainy over employmen opporuniies and marriage expeca-ions ace a grea deal o social ension as hey make choices abou wheher o re- work heir place in amily and sociey and recommi o amily values or o ollowpersonal inclinaions

Urban young people who are no ye married are orming a new subculure inpars o he Middle Eas Some are sudens some are workers Tey end on av-erage o be beter educaed han earlier generaions As in he Wes hey are eagero become acquained wih echnology and he connecions o oher worlds i o-ers Tey are working hrough ensions beween he ideniy opions available ohem rying o 1047297nd a cosmopolianism ha also 1047297s wih heir naional and ehnicaffi niies Krisin Monroe akes up he sory o young pizza deliverymen in Beiru who have no connecions o help hem She makes he poin ha differences in

Par One

GENER ATIONS AND

LIFE PASSAGES

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 714

16 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

class and naional origin have emerged alongside hisorical Lebanese disinc-ions o sec and religious communiy even as increased mobiliy in an urbanlandscape levels opporuniy coss

983138983145983154983156983144

Children are valuable and heir birh is celebraed A a seven-day naming cere-mony in radiional quarers o Cairo he newborn is shaken in a sieve while hemidwie admonishes he child o obey his or her parens As a proud American a-her oes cigars so he radiional Egypian moher disribues packes o sevenkinds o nus symbolic o eriliy o her well- wishers Some middle-class amiliesnow celebrae birhs wih ancy wrapped chocolaes ribbon- wrapped Jordan al-

monds and designer gif packages Children ensure coninuaion o he amily andcommuniy hey are as one hadih (religious radiion) saes ldquohe deligh o lierdquoFamilies doe on children and a oddler amid a group o adolescens or aduls isoverwhelmed wih affecion Chrisine Nuter-El-Ouardani in her aricle onchild developmen in rural Morocco describes how a amily socializes is chil-dren o help develop srengh and discipline Par o ha process involves learn-ing rom aduls wha is accepable behavior in relaion o oher children andaduls Parens may encourage children in pracices a home ha are a odds wihsae programs and expecaions in schools or healh clinics and children mus

navigae beween he differen worldsMuslims are expeced (no by religious commandmen bu by srong recom-mendaion) o marry and o produce progeny o increase he Muslim communiyand o bless heir own amily An unmarried person while no an anomaly sill eelssocial pressure o marry and 1047297 he ideal even hough economically she does noneed marriage since her amily members shield her rom wan or deprivaion Teamily ino which one is born he naal amily is he mos imporan social group inonersquos lie I provides proecion ood sheler income repuaion and honor

Te amily suppors he individual hrough all major lie ransiions Te am-

ily approves a spouse aids in 1047297nding a job someimes provides a home and helps oraise he grandchildren Te amily mediaes beween he individual and he ou-side world Onersquos amily name is a ready-made ideni1047297caion ha reveals boh onersquosrepuaion and onersquos access o resources Middle Easerners assume ha relaives will be avored

Onersquos posiion wihin a amily991252 wheher married single divorced widoweda paren or childless991252also de1047297nes onersquos social saus in he communiy A man isauonomous upon reaching adulhood usually eigheen bu he is expeced o sup-por boh his naal and conjugal amilies Womenrsquos legal and social adulhood aredifferen radiionally women gain saus when hey give birh o a male child andhey pour immense energy ino his upbringing When he 1047297rs son is born amongPalesinians or example he parens may be renamed991252or example ldquomoher oMuhammadrdquo and ldquoaher o Muhammadrdquo Te moher-son ie which some say ishe mos powerul relaion a woman or man will ever have is ypically a close and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 814

Inroducion o Par I 17

loving relaionship o srong dependency radiionally while daughers marry andleave he amily sons suppor heir parens alhough in recen years daughers areassuming more and more responsibiliy or heir parensrsquo suppor in old age Amongurban middle classes a womanrsquos saus is less ied o producing a male heir and

more deermined by public piey and respec gained rom her own aciviies suchas school work and communiy acion However marriage coninues o be im-mensely imporan

Te ie beween broher and siser runs a close second o he moher-son rela-ion Ideally brohers will deend a siser in need hroughou heir lives jus assisers will care or brohers as a kind o second moher Alhough a woman maymarry ou o her own naal amily she always carries is name and coninues o be close o her brohers991252someimes closer han o her husband Any misbehav-ior by a woman is a poenial source o shame o hem

Circumcision which occurs beween inancy and age en is he main rie opassage or males beween birh and marriage In counries such as Egyp andMorocco i is celebraed wih paries and congraulaions In radiional quarerso Cairo circumcision offers a sriking juxaposiion o a solemn religious evenand a carnival Young boys o be circumcised are dressed in whie in he manner oa hajji reurning rom pilgrimage Mouned on a horse he boys proceed rom hemosque a he ime o he sunse prayer Among he hrongs o amily riends andsrangers waching and cheering hem are vendors o swees and mulicolored pa-per has he later given as somehing o a consolaion prize o children who have

no been circumcised Many middle-class amilies quiely circumcise heir boys ahe clinic afer hey come home rom he hospial hey celebrae discreely wihamily and riends a home

983149983137983154983154983145983137983143983141

Marriage is a key milesone Romanic inrigues and wedding esiviies providemajor enerainmen or all Young Middle Easern men and women whisper

abou poenial spouses and wheher romanic or arranged marriages are bes Teyeagerly awai wedding paries where young and old lisen o music and enjoy Pepsioher swee drinks and pasries Even luxurious hoel weddings assume he in-ormaliy o home as children cavor and women ululae Families ake marriageseriously Mohers and auns scou marriage prospecs or heir children a allgaherings o amily and riends and check ou he amily o anyone heir child isromanically ineresed in Brohers are ofen enrused wih gahering inelligenceon prospecsrsquo repuaions Marriage is an economic conrac negoiaed by oldermales o he wo amilies Tey deermine he bride price (mahr or sadaq) paid ohe womanrsquos aher as well as clohes jewelry and urnishings o be given by eachside Te bride price ideally includes a sum o money o be se aside and paid ohe wie in case o divorce

Once he couple is ldquoengagedrdquo via a legally binding marriage conrac heymay visi each oher a home and may dae offi cially Te wedding pary and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 914

18 G983141983150983141983154 983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

consummaion may occur monhs or even years laer Afer he pary he coupleses up housekeeping ogeher Courship engagemen and marriage cusomsdiffer signi1047297canly by locaion educaion and social saus In some Berber areaso souhern Morocco he bride lives chasely wih he groomrsquos amily or monhs

beore he wedding in order o become amiliar wih he rouine o he amily AsDawn Chaty noes among some Bedouin o Oman he groom may reside wih he bridersquos amily or a period o ime o acclimae her o his presence beore moving hero his amilyrsquos complex In he wealhy sraa o Lebanon Egyp or unisia wed-ding guess wearing French designer dresses and holding glasses o Scoch whiskeycirculae around a hoel ballroom and oas he young couplersquos healh Some wed-dings are more radiional some more modern boh in wedding syle as well as inhow he marriage was conraced as Jenny Whie illusraes wih her sories owo weddings in conemporary urkey

983151983148983140 983137983143983141 983137983150983140 983140983141983137983156983144

Wihin he sheler o he amily old age is a ime o reaping wha one has sownradiionally younger aduls consul heir elders on decisions abou medical rea-mens business deals marriages and poliical alliances Responsibiliy bu no au-horiy passes o adul children A moher is ofen de aco household head longafer her husband is dead and he oldes son has gray hair

Deah is acceped as a naural par o lie Cusomarily he uneral processiono wailing women and silen men carries he shrouded body o be buried acingMecca beore he 1047297rs sunse I is radiional or he amily o receive condolencesaferward eiher in arabesque ens se up or he occasion or a home Guess readhe aiha (he 1047297rs verse o he Qur aʾn) drink ea or coffee and lisen o Qur aʾnicreciaion Women normally receive condolences during he day a home FarhaGhannam underscores he imporance o deah riuals in Egyp and how differenamily members discuss and esablish wha i means o mourn correcly

983152983137983155983155983137983143983141983155 983156983144983154983151983157983143983144 983148983145983142983141 983140983145983142983142983141983154 983141983150983156 983148983151983139983137 983148983141983155

Passages hrough lie991252childhood marriage parening old age991252are shaped by biology and sociey Te Middle Eas embroiders differen designs or he riualsmarking each sage Erika Friedlrsquos ldquoradiional Songs rom Boir Ahmadrdquo showsone design in he songs and poery wih which Iranian villagers honor passageso lie

Unil recen decades Middle Easern amilies were no bese by Wesern socialproblems such as runaway children he youh drug culure and neglec o he el-derly Indeed many in he Middle Eas sill quesion how Wesern sociey canabandon unwaned children or grandparens who need amily care Despie hisclaim o be differen rom Wesern sociey amilies in he Middle Eas have heirown moral issues in regard o amily lie One area where Middle Easern Mus-

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 3: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 314

viii Conens

Par II GENDER R ELATIONS

Introduction to Part II 105

8 Young Womenrsquos Sexuality in unisia Te Health Consequences

of Misinformation among University Students 111 Angel Foser

9 A Torny Side of Marriage in Iran 122 Erika Friedl

10 Car Culture in Contemporary Qatar 133 Andrew Gardner and Momina Zakzouk

11 Middle Eastern Masculinities in the Age of Assisted

Reproductive echnologies 143 Marcia C Inhorn

12 Few ldquoGaysrdquo in the Middle East but Signi1047297cantSame-Sex Sexuality 151

William O Beeman

13 Te ldquoRamallah Girlsrdquo Social Change in Urban Space 159 Naalie K Jensen

14 amkin Stories from a Family Court in Iran 172Ziba Mir-Hosseini

15 A New Jordanian Generation Wears the Hijab 186 Donna Lee Bowen

Par III HOME COMM UNITY AN D WORK

Introduction to Part III 203

16 Politics Politics and More Politics Youth Life Experiences

in the Gaza Strip 207 Brian K Barber

17 Islamist Activism in Jordan 224Quinan Wikorowicz

18 Democracyrsquos Collateral Damage 235Vicoria Fonan

19 Politics of Class on an Egyptian Factory Floor 245

Samer Shehaa20 ldquoMadam You Drive a Hard Bargainrdquo Selling to ourists

in unisrsquos Medina 262Simon Hawkins

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 414

Conens ix

21 Human Insecurity in Lebanon 274 Melani Cammet

22 Pedagogy Islamic Education and Life Lessons in

a Jordanian Secondary School for Girls 282Fida J Adely

23 Networks Jobs and Everyday Life in Cairo 293 Diane Singerman

Par IV ISLA M IN PRACTICE

Introduction to Part IV 303

24 Te Sound of the Divine in Daily Life 310 Krisina Nelson

25 Abu Illya and Zaka 315 Donna Lee Bowen

26 Te Hajj in Everyday Life 319Rober R Bianchi

27 Abdul Qadar and the Sheep of ʿId al- Adha 329 Donna Lee Bowen

28 ele-Preachers and alk Shows Egyptian Religious Discourse 331 Evelyn A Early

29 Su1047297sm and Everyday Ethics in urkey 351 Brian Silversein

30 ldquoCaught among the Unbelieversrdquo How Pilgrimage Shapes IraniansrsquoUnderstandings of Sectarian Difference 362

Anne H Beteridge

Par V PERFOR M ANCE AND EXPR ESSION

Introduction to Part V 387

31 Deposed Leaders Youube and the Contested Languageof Arab Uprisings 391

Becky Schulhies

32 From the Death of Sally Zahran to the rial of Hosni Mubarak

Martyrs and the January 25 Revolution 406Waler Armbrus

33 Reinserting Race as a Relevant Social Category in urkish Football 420Yağmur Nuhra Marcie Paton Donna Lee Bowen and Becky Schulhies

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 514

x Conens

34 ldquoTe Worst Disaster Is What Makes You LaughrdquoSounds of the Syrian Revolution 432

Jonahan Shannon

35 Al- Aris (Te Bridegroom) Prison Literature and Human R ights 445Salah El Ouadie ranslaed by Susan Slyomovics

36 ldquoo Mount at-iyal He Declaredrdquo Some Poetry from the Yemeni Civil War 451

Seven C Caon

37 Sad Songs of the Western Desert 455 Lila Abu- Lughod

Conribuors 461 Index 469

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 614

983145983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150

Family lie he arena or lie passage rom birh hrough circumcision adolescencemarriage and deah used o vary less by counry han i did by social group wihinand across counries For insance Bedouins and villagers hisorically lived in

exended amilies wih all he sons and wives under one roo oday economicpressures and individual preerences as well as in-counry seasonal and long-ermoreign migraion have increased he number o single-amily residences Whileamily ies remain imporan increasingly he sae privae businesses and helprom neighbors provide imporan suppor

Middle Easern youh experience a ension beween radiional de1047297niions ohe saus o youhs (hose aged welve o weny-1047297ve) and he realiy o heir livesIn previous eras young women remained wards o heir amily unil hey marriedNow ha marriage ages have shifed o he middle and lae wenies or young

women in urban areas heir need o be sel-supporing while sill considered mi-nors ied o amily makes heir saus ambiguous Young unmarried people manyo whom ace uncerainy over employmen opporuniies and marriage expeca-ions ace a grea deal o social ension as hey make choices abou wheher o re- work heir place in amily and sociey and recommi o amily values or o ollowpersonal inclinaions

Urban young people who are no ye married are orming a new subculure inpars o he Middle Eas Some are sudens some are workers Tey end on av-erage o be beter educaed han earlier generaions As in he Wes hey are eagero become acquained wih echnology and he connecions o oher worlds i o-ers Tey are working hrough ensions beween he ideniy opions available ohem rying o 1047297nd a cosmopolianism ha also 1047297s wih heir naional and ehnicaffi niies Krisin Monroe akes up he sory o young pizza deliverymen in Beiru who have no connecions o help hem She makes he poin ha differences in

Par One

GENER ATIONS AND

LIFE PASSAGES

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 714

16 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

class and naional origin have emerged alongside hisorical Lebanese disinc-ions o sec and religious communiy even as increased mobiliy in an urbanlandscape levels opporuniy coss

983138983145983154983156983144

Children are valuable and heir birh is celebraed A a seven-day naming cere-mony in radiional quarers o Cairo he newborn is shaken in a sieve while hemidwie admonishes he child o obey his or her parens As a proud American a-her oes cigars so he radiional Egypian moher disribues packes o sevenkinds o nus symbolic o eriliy o her well- wishers Some middle-class amiliesnow celebrae birhs wih ancy wrapped chocolaes ribbon- wrapped Jordan al-

monds and designer gif packages Children ensure coninuaion o he amily andcommuniy hey are as one hadih (religious radiion) saes ldquohe deligh o lierdquoFamilies doe on children and a oddler amid a group o adolescens or aduls isoverwhelmed wih affecion Chrisine Nuter-El-Ouardani in her aricle onchild developmen in rural Morocco describes how a amily socializes is chil-dren o help develop srengh and discipline Par o ha process involves learn-ing rom aduls wha is accepable behavior in relaion o oher children andaduls Parens may encourage children in pracices a home ha are a odds wihsae programs and expecaions in schools or healh clinics and children mus

navigae beween he differen worldsMuslims are expeced (no by religious commandmen bu by srong recom-mendaion) o marry and o produce progeny o increase he Muslim communiyand o bless heir own amily An unmarried person while no an anomaly sill eelssocial pressure o marry and 1047297 he ideal even hough economically she does noneed marriage since her amily members shield her rom wan or deprivaion Teamily ino which one is born he naal amily is he mos imporan social group inonersquos lie I provides proecion ood sheler income repuaion and honor

Te amily suppors he individual hrough all major lie ransiions Te am-

ily approves a spouse aids in 1047297nding a job someimes provides a home and helps oraise he grandchildren Te amily mediaes beween he individual and he ou-side world Onersquos amily name is a ready-made ideni1047297caion ha reveals boh onersquosrepuaion and onersquos access o resources Middle Easerners assume ha relaives will be avored

Onersquos posiion wihin a amily991252 wheher married single divorced widoweda paren or childless991252also de1047297nes onersquos social saus in he communiy A man isauonomous upon reaching adulhood usually eigheen bu he is expeced o sup-por boh his naal and conjugal amilies Womenrsquos legal and social adulhood aredifferen radiionally women gain saus when hey give birh o a male child andhey pour immense energy ino his upbringing When he 1047297rs son is born amongPalesinians or example he parens may be renamed991252or example ldquomoher oMuhammadrdquo and ldquoaher o Muhammadrdquo Te moher-son ie which some say ishe mos powerul relaion a woman or man will ever have is ypically a close and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 814

Inroducion o Par I 17

loving relaionship o srong dependency radiionally while daughers marry andleave he amily sons suppor heir parens alhough in recen years daughers areassuming more and more responsibiliy or heir parensrsquo suppor in old age Amongurban middle classes a womanrsquos saus is less ied o producing a male heir and

more deermined by public piey and respec gained rom her own aciviies suchas school work and communiy acion However marriage coninues o be im-mensely imporan

Te ie beween broher and siser runs a close second o he moher-son rela-ion Ideally brohers will deend a siser in need hroughou heir lives jus assisers will care or brohers as a kind o second moher Alhough a woman maymarry ou o her own naal amily she always carries is name and coninues o be close o her brohers991252someimes closer han o her husband Any misbehav-ior by a woman is a poenial source o shame o hem

Circumcision which occurs beween inancy and age en is he main rie opassage or males beween birh and marriage In counries such as Egyp andMorocco i is celebraed wih paries and congraulaions In radiional quarerso Cairo circumcision offers a sriking juxaposiion o a solemn religious evenand a carnival Young boys o be circumcised are dressed in whie in he manner oa hajji reurning rom pilgrimage Mouned on a horse he boys proceed rom hemosque a he ime o he sunse prayer Among he hrongs o amily riends andsrangers waching and cheering hem are vendors o swees and mulicolored pa-per has he later given as somehing o a consolaion prize o children who have

no been circumcised Many middle-class amilies quiely circumcise heir boys ahe clinic afer hey come home rom he hospial hey celebrae discreely wihamily and riends a home

983149983137983154983154983145983137983143983141

Marriage is a key milesone Romanic inrigues and wedding esiviies providemajor enerainmen or all Young Middle Easern men and women whisper

abou poenial spouses and wheher romanic or arranged marriages are bes Teyeagerly awai wedding paries where young and old lisen o music and enjoy Pepsioher swee drinks and pasries Even luxurious hoel weddings assume he in-ormaliy o home as children cavor and women ululae Families ake marriageseriously Mohers and auns scou marriage prospecs or heir children a allgaherings o amily and riends and check ou he amily o anyone heir child isromanically ineresed in Brohers are ofen enrused wih gahering inelligenceon prospecsrsquo repuaions Marriage is an economic conrac negoiaed by oldermales o he wo amilies Tey deermine he bride price (mahr or sadaq) paid ohe womanrsquos aher as well as clohes jewelry and urnishings o be given by eachside Te bride price ideally includes a sum o money o be se aside and paid ohe wie in case o divorce

Once he couple is ldquoengagedrdquo via a legally binding marriage conrac heymay visi each oher a home and may dae offi cially Te wedding pary and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 914

18 G983141983150983141983154 983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

consummaion may occur monhs or even years laer Afer he pary he coupleses up housekeeping ogeher Courship engagemen and marriage cusomsdiffer signi1047297canly by locaion educaion and social saus In some Berber areaso souhern Morocco he bride lives chasely wih he groomrsquos amily or monhs

beore he wedding in order o become amiliar wih he rouine o he amily AsDawn Chaty noes among some Bedouin o Oman he groom may reside wih he bridersquos amily or a period o ime o acclimae her o his presence beore moving hero his amilyrsquos complex In he wealhy sraa o Lebanon Egyp or unisia wed-ding guess wearing French designer dresses and holding glasses o Scoch whiskeycirculae around a hoel ballroom and oas he young couplersquos healh Some wed-dings are more radiional some more modern boh in wedding syle as well as inhow he marriage was conraced as Jenny Whie illusraes wih her sories owo weddings in conemporary urkey

983151983148983140 983137983143983141 983137983150983140 983140983141983137983156983144

Wihin he sheler o he amily old age is a ime o reaping wha one has sownradiionally younger aduls consul heir elders on decisions abou medical rea-mens business deals marriages and poliical alliances Responsibiliy bu no au-horiy passes o adul children A moher is ofen de aco household head longafer her husband is dead and he oldes son has gray hair

Deah is acceped as a naural par o lie Cusomarily he uneral processiono wailing women and silen men carries he shrouded body o be buried acingMecca beore he 1047297rs sunse I is radiional or he amily o receive condolencesaferward eiher in arabesque ens se up or he occasion or a home Guess readhe aiha (he 1047297rs verse o he Qur aʾn) drink ea or coffee and lisen o Qur aʾnicreciaion Women normally receive condolences during he day a home FarhaGhannam underscores he imporance o deah riuals in Egyp and how differenamily members discuss and esablish wha i means o mourn correcly

983152983137983155983155983137983143983141983155 983156983144983154983151983157983143983144 983148983145983142983141 983140983145983142983142983141983154 983141983150983156 983148983151983139983137 983148983141983155

Passages hrough lie991252childhood marriage parening old age991252are shaped by biology and sociey Te Middle Eas embroiders differen designs or he riualsmarking each sage Erika Friedlrsquos ldquoradiional Songs rom Boir Ahmadrdquo showsone design in he songs and poery wih which Iranian villagers honor passageso lie

Unil recen decades Middle Easern amilies were no bese by Wesern socialproblems such as runaway children he youh drug culure and neglec o he el-derly Indeed many in he Middle Eas sill quesion how Wesern sociey canabandon unwaned children or grandparens who need amily care Despie hisclaim o be differen rom Wesern sociey amilies in he Middle Eas have heirown moral issues in regard o amily lie One area where Middle Easern Mus-

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 4: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 414

Conens ix

21 Human Insecurity in Lebanon 274 Melani Cammet

22 Pedagogy Islamic Education and Life Lessons in

a Jordanian Secondary School for Girls 282Fida J Adely

23 Networks Jobs and Everyday Life in Cairo 293 Diane Singerman

Par IV ISLA M IN PRACTICE

Introduction to Part IV 303

24 Te Sound of the Divine in Daily Life 310 Krisina Nelson

25 Abu Illya and Zaka 315 Donna Lee Bowen

26 Te Hajj in Everyday Life 319Rober R Bianchi

27 Abdul Qadar and the Sheep of ʿId al- Adha 329 Donna Lee Bowen

28 ele-Preachers and alk Shows Egyptian Religious Discourse 331 Evelyn A Early

29 Su1047297sm and Everyday Ethics in urkey 351 Brian Silversein

30 ldquoCaught among the Unbelieversrdquo How Pilgrimage Shapes IraniansrsquoUnderstandings of Sectarian Difference 362

Anne H Beteridge

Par V PERFOR M ANCE AND EXPR ESSION

Introduction to Part V 387

31 Deposed Leaders Youube and the Contested Languageof Arab Uprisings 391

Becky Schulhies

32 From the Death of Sally Zahran to the rial of Hosni Mubarak

Martyrs and the January 25 Revolution 406Waler Armbrus

33 Reinserting Race as a Relevant Social Category in urkish Football 420Yağmur Nuhra Marcie Paton Donna Lee Bowen and Becky Schulhies

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 514

x Conens

34 ldquoTe Worst Disaster Is What Makes You LaughrdquoSounds of the Syrian Revolution 432

Jonahan Shannon

35 Al- Aris (Te Bridegroom) Prison Literature and Human R ights 445Salah El Ouadie ranslaed by Susan Slyomovics

36 ldquoo Mount at-iyal He Declaredrdquo Some Poetry from the Yemeni Civil War 451

Seven C Caon

37 Sad Songs of the Western Desert 455 Lila Abu- Lughod

Conribuors 461 Index 469

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 614

983145983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150

Family lie he arena or lie passage rom birh hrough circumcision adolescencemarriage and deah used o vary less by counry han i did by social group wihinand across counries For insance Bedouins and villagers hisorically lived in

exended amilies wih all he sons and wives under one roo oday economicpressures and individual preerences as well as in-counry seasonal and long-ermoreign migraion have increased he number o single-amily residences Whileamily ies remain imporan increasingly he sae privae businesses and helprom neighbors provide imporan suppor

Middle Easern youh experience a ension beween radiional de1047297niions ohe saus o youhs (hose aged welve o weny-1047297ve) and he realiy o heir livesIn previous eras young women remained wards o heir amily unil hey marriedNow ha marriage ages have shifed o he middle and lae wenies or young

women in urban areas heir need o be sel-supporing while sill considered mi-nors ied o amily makes heir saus ambiguous Young unmarried people manyo whom ace uncerainy over employmen opporuniies and marriage expeca-ions ace a grea deal o social ension as hey make choices abou wheher o re- work heir place in amily and sociey and recommi o amily values or o ollowpersonal inclinaions

Urban young people who are no ye married are orming a new subculure inpars o he Middle Eas Some are sudens some are workers Tey end on av-erage o be beter educaed han earlier generaions As in he Wes hey are eagero become acquained wih echnology and he connecions o oher worlds i o-ers Tey are working hrough ensions beween he ideniy opions available ohem rying o 1047297nd a cosmopolianism ha also 1047297s wih heir naional and ehnicaffi niies Krisin Monroe akes up he sory o young pizza deliverymen in Beiru who have no connecions o help hem She makes he poin ha differences in

Par One

GENER ATIONS AND

LIFE PASSAGES

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 714

16 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

class and naional origin have emerged alongside hisorical Lebanese disinc-ions o sec and religious communiy even as increased mobiliy in an urbanlandscape levels opporuniy coss

983138983145983154983156983144

Children are valuable and heir birh is celebraed A a seven-day naming cere-mony in radiional quarers o Cairo he newborn is shaken in a sieve while hemidwie admonishes he child o obey his or her parens As a proud American a-her oes cigars so he radiional Egypian moher disribues packes o sevenkinds o nus symbolic o eriliy o her well- wishers Some middle-class amiliesnow celebrae birhs wih ancy wrapped chocolaes ribbon- wrapped Jordan al-

monds and designer gif packages Children ensure coninuaion o he amily andcommuniy hey are as one hadih (religious radiion) saes ldquohe deligh o lierdquoFamilies doe on children and a oddler amid a group o adolescens or aduls isoverwhelmed wih affecion Chrisine Nuter-El-Ouardani in her aricle onchild developmen in rural Morocco describes how a amily socializes is chil-dren o help develop srengh and discipline Par o ha process involves learn-ing rom aduls wha is accepable behavior in relaion o oher children andaduls Parens may encourage children in pracices a home ha are a odds wihsae programs and expecaions in schools or healh clinics and children mus

navigae beween he differen worldsMuslims are expeced (no by religious commandmen bu by srong recom-mendaion) o marry and o produce progeny o increase he Muslim communiyand o bless heir own amily An unmarried person while no an anomaly sill eelssocial pressure o marry and 1047297 he ideal even hough economically she does noneed marriage since her amily members shield her rom wan or deprivaion Teamily ino which one is born he naal amily is he mos imporan social group inonersquos lie I provides proecion ood sheler income repuaion and honor

Te amily suppors he individual hrough all major lie ransiions Te am-

ily approves a spouse aids in 1047297nding a job someimes provides a home and helps oraise he grandchildren Te amily mediaes beween he individual and he ou-side world Onersquos amily name is a ready-made ideni1047297caion ha reveals boh onersquosrepuaion and onersquos access o resources Middle Easerners assume ha relaives will be avored

Onersquos posiion wihin a amily991252 wheher married single divorced widoweda paren or childless991252also de1047297nes onersquos social saus in he communiy A man isauonomous upon reaching adulhood usually eigheen bu he is expeced o sup-por boh his naal and conjugal amilies Womenrsquos legal and social adulhood aredifferen radiionally women gain saus when hey give birh o a male child andhey pour immense energy ino his upbringing When he 1047297rs son is born amongPalesinians or example he parens may be renamed991252or example ldquomoher oMuhammadrdquo and ldquoaher o Muhammadrdquo Te moher-son ie which some say ishe mos powerul relaion a woman or man will ever have is ypically a close and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 814

Inroducion o Par I 17

loving relaionship o srong dependency radiionally while daughers marry andleave he amily sons suppor heir parens alhough in recen years daughers areassuming more and more responsibiliy or heir parensrsquo suppor in old age Amongurban middle classes a womanrsquos saus is less ied o producing a male heir and

more deermined by public piey and respec gained rom her own aciviies suchas school work and communiy acion However marriage coninues o be im-mensely imporan

Te ie beween broher and siser runs a close second o he moher-son rela-ion Ideally brohers will deend a siser in need hroughou heir lives jus assisers will care or brohers as a kind o second moher Alhough a woman maymarry ou o her own naal amily she always carries is name and coninues o be close o her brohers991252someimes closer han o her husband Any misbehav-ior by a woman is a poenial source o shame o hem

Circumcision which occurs beween inancy and age en is he main rie opassage or males beween birh and marriage In counries such as Egyp andMorocco i is celebraed wih paries and congraulaions In radiional quarerso Cairo circumcision offers a sriking juxaposiion o a solemn religious evenand a carnival Young boys o be circumcised are dressed in whie in he manner oa hajji reurning rom pilgrimage Mouned on a horse he boys proceed rom hemosque a he ime o he sunse prayer Among he hrongs o amily riends andsrangers waching and cheering hem are vendors o swees and mulicolored pa-per has he later given as somehing o a consolaion prize o children who have

no been circumcised Many middle-class amilies quiely circumcise heir boys ahe clinic afer hey come home rom he hospial hey celebrae discreely wihamily and riends a home

983149983137983154983154983145983137983143983141

Marriage is a key milesone Romanic inrigues and wedding esiviies providemajor enerainmen or all Young Middle Easern men and women whisper

abou poenial spouses and wheher romanic or arranged marriages are bes Teyeagerly awai wedding paries where young and old lisen o music and enjoy Pepsioher swee drinks and pasries Even luxurious hoel weddings assume he in-ormaliy o home as children cavor and women ululae Families ake marriageseriously Mohers and auns scou marriage prospecs or heir children a allgaherings o amily and riends and check ou he amily o anyone heir child isromanically ineresed in Brohers are ofen enrused wih gahering inelligenceon prospecsrsquo repuaions Marriage is an economic conrac negoiaed by oldermales o he wo amilies Tey deermine he bride price (mahr or sadaq) paid ohe womanrsquos aher as well as clohes jewelry and urnishings o be given by eachside Te bride price ideally includes a sum o money o be se aside and paid ohe wie in case o divorce

Once he couple is ldquoengagedrdquo via a legally binding marriage conrac heymay visi each oher a home and may dae offi cially Te wedding pary and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 914

18 G983141983150983141983154 983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

consummaion may occur monhs or even years laer Afer he pary he coupleses up housekeeping ogeher Courship engagemen and marriage cusomsdiffer signi1047297canly by locaion educaion and social saus In some Berber areaso souhern Morocco he bride lives chasely wih he groomrsquos amily or monhs

beore he wedding in order o become amiliar wih he rouine o he amily AsDawn Chaty noes among some Bedouin o Oman he groom may reside wih he bridersquos amily or a period o ime o acclimae her o his presence beore moving hero his amilyrsquos complex In he wealhy sraa o Lebanon Egyp or unisia wed-ding guess wearing French designer dresses and holding glasses o Scoch whiskeycirculae around a hoel ballroom and oas he young couplersquos healh Some wed-dings are more radiional some more modern boh in wedding syle as well as inhow he marriage was conraced as Jenny Whie illusraes wih her sories owo weddings in conemporary urkey

983151983148983140 983137983143983141 983137983150983140 983140983141983137983156983144

Wihin he sheler o he amily old age is a ime o reaping wha one has sownradiionally younger aduls consul heir elders on decisions abou medical rea-mens business deals marriages and poliical alliances Responsibiliy bu no au-horiy passes o adul children A moher is ofen de aco household head longafer her husband is dead and he oldes son has gray hair

Deah is acceped as a naural par o lie Cusomarily he uneral processiono wailing women and silen men carries he shrouded body o be buried acingMecca beore he 1047297rs sunse I is radiional or he amily o receive condolencesaferward eiher in arabesque ens se up or he occasion or a home Guess readhe aiha (he 1047297rs verse o he Qur aʾn) drink ea or coffee and lisen o Qur aʾnicreciaion Women normally receive condolences during he day a home FarhaGhannam underscores he imporance o deah riuals in Egyp and how differenamily members discuss and esablish wha i means o mourn correcly

983152983137983155983155983137983143983141983155 983156983144983154983151983157983143983144 983148983145983142983141 983140983145983142983142983141983154 983141983150983156 983148983151983139983137 983148983141983155

Passages hrough lie991252childhood marriage parening old age991252are shaped by biology and sociey Te Middle Eas embroiders differen designs or he riualsmarking each sage Erika Friedlrsquos ldquoradiional Songs rom Boir Ahmadrdquo showsone design in he songs and poery wih which Iranian villagers honor passageso lie

Unil recen decades Middle Easern amilies were no bese by Wesern socialproblems such as runaway children he youh drug culure and neglec o he el-derly Indeed many in he Middle Eas sill quesion how Wesern sociey canabandon unwaned children or grandparens who need amily care Despie hisclaim o be differen rom Wesern sociey amilies in he Middle Eas have heirown moral issues in regard o amily lie One area where Middle Easern Mus-

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 5: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 514

x Conens

34 ldquoTe Worst Disaster Is What Makes You LaughrdquoSounds of the Syrian Revolution 432

Jonahan Shannon

35 Al- Aris (Te Bridegroom) Prison Literature and Human R ights 445Salah El Ouadie ranslaed by Susan Slyomovics

36 ldquoo Mount at-iyal He Declaredrdquo Some Poetry from the Yemeni Civil War 451

Seven C Caon

37 Sad Songs of the Western Desert 455 Lila Abu- Lughod

Conribuors 461 Index 469

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 614

983145983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150

Family lie he arena or lie passage rom birh hrough circumcision adolescencemarriage and deah used o vary less by counry han i did by social group wihinand across counries For insance Bedouins and villagers hisorically lived in

exended amilies wih all he sons and wives under one roo oday economicpressures and individual preerences as well as in-counry seasonal and long-ermoreign migraion have increased he number o single-amily residences Whileamily ies remain imporan increasingly he sae privae businesses and helprom neighbors provide imporan suppor

Middle Easern youh experience a ension beween radiional de1047297niions ohe saus o youhs (hose aged welve o weny-1047297ve) and he realiy o heir livesIn previous eras young women remained wards o heir amily unil hey marriedNow ha marriage ages have shifed o he middle and lae wenies or young

women in urban areas heir need o be sel-supporing while sill considered mi-nors ied o amily makes heir saus ambiguous Young unmarried people manyo whom ace uncerainy over employmen opporuniies and marriage expeca-ions ace a grea deal o social ension as hey make choices abou wheher o re- work heir place in amily and sociey and recommi o amily values or o ollowpersonal inclinaions

Urban young people who are no ye married are orming a new subculure inpars o he Middle Eas Some are sudens some are workers Tey end on av-erage o be beter educaed han earlier generaions As in he Wes hey are eagero become acquained wih echnology and he connecions o oher worlds i o-ers Tey are working hrough ensions beween he ideniy opions available ohem rying o 1047297nd a cosmopolianism ha also 1047297s wih heir naional and ehnicaffi niies Krisin Monroe akes up he sory o young pizza deliverymen in Beiru who have no connecions o help hem She makes he poin ha differences in

Par One

GENER ATIONS AND

LIFE PASSAGES

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 714

16 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

class and naional origin have emerged alongside hisorical Lebanese disinc-ions o sec and religious communiy even as increased mobiliy in an urbanlandscape levels opporuniy coss

983138983145983154983156983144

Children are valuable and heir birh is celebraed A a seven-day naming cere-mony in radiional quarers o Cairo he newborn is shaken in a sieve while hemidwie admonishes he child o obey his or her parens As a proud American a-her oes cigars so he radiional Egypian moher disribues packes o sevenkinds o nus symbolic o eriliy o her well- wishers Some middle-class amiliesnow celebrae birhs wih ancy wrapped chocolaes ribbon- wrapped Jordan al-

monds and designer gif packages Children ensure coninuaion o he amily andcommuniy hey are as one hadih (religious radiion) saes ldquohe deligh o lierdquoFamilies doe on children and a oddler amid a group o adolescens or aduls isoverwhelmed wih affecion Chrisine Nuter-El-Ouardani in her aricle onchild developmen in rural Morocco describes how a amily socializes is chil-dren o help develop srengh and discipline Par o ha process involves learn-ing rom aduls wha is accepable behavior in relaion o oher children andaduls Parens may encourage children in pracices a home ha are a odds wihsae programs and expecaions in schools or healh clinics and children mus

navigae beween he differen worldsMuslims are expeced (no by religious commandmen bu by srong recom-mendaion) o marry and o produce progeny o increase he Muslim communiyand o bless heir own amily An unmarried person while no an anomaly sill eelssocial pressure o marry and 1047297 he ideal even hough economically she does noneed marriage since her amily members shield her rom wan or deprivaion Teamily ino which one is born he naal amily is he mos imporan social group inonersquos lie I provides proecion ood sheler income repuaion and honor

Te amily suppors he individual hrough all major lie ransiions Te am-

ily approves a spouse aids in 1047297nding a job someimes provides a home and helps oraise he grandchildren Te amily mediaes beween he individual and he ou-side world Onersquos amily name is a ready-made ideni1047297caion ha reveals boh onersquosrepuaion and onersquos access o resources Middle Easerners assume ha relaives will be avored

Onersquos posiion wihin a amily991252 wheher married single divorced widoweda paren or childless991252also de1047297nes onersquos social saus in he communiy A man isauonomous upon reaching adulhood usually eigheen bu he is expeced o sup-por boh his naal and conjugal amilies Womenrsquos legal and social adulhood aredifferen radiionally women gain saus when hey give birh o a male child andhey pour immense energy ino his upbringing When he 1047297rs son is born amongPalesinians or example he parens may be renamed991252or example ldquomoher oMuhammadrdquo and ldquoaher o Muhammadrdquo Te moher-son ie which some say ishe mos powerul relaion a woman or man will ever have is ypically a close and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 814

Inroducion o Par I 17

loving relaionship o srong dependency radiionally while daughers marry andleave he amily sons suppor heir parens alhough in recen years daughers areassuming more and more responsibiliy or heir parensrsquo suppor in old age Amongurban middle classes a womanrsquos saus is less ied o producing a male heir and

more deermined by public piey and respec gained rom her own aciviies suchas school work and communiy acion However marriage coninues o be im-mensely imporan

Te ie beween broher and siser runs a close second o he moher-son rela-ion Ideally brohers will deend a siser in need hroughou heir lives jus assisers will care or brohers as a kind o second moher Alhough a woman maymarry ou o her own naal amily she always carries is name and coninues o be close o her brohers991252someimes closer han o her husband Any misbehav-ior by a woman is a poenial source o shame o hem

Circumcision which occurs beween inancy and age en is he main rie opassage or males beween birh and marriage In counries such as Egyp andMorocco i is celebraed wih paries and congraulaions In radiional quarerso Cairo circumcision offers a sriking juxaposiion o a solemn religious evenand a carnival Young boys o be circumcised are dressed in whie in he manner oa hajji reurning rom pilgrimage Mouned on a horse he boys proceed rom hemosque a he ime o he sunse prayer Among he hrongs o amily riends andsrangers waching and cheering hem are vendors o swees and mulicolored pa-per has he later given as somehing o a consolaion prize o children who have

no been circumcised Many middle-class amilies quiely circumcise heir boys ahe clinic afer hey come home rom he hospial hey celebrae discreely wihamily and riends a home

983149983137983154983154983145983137983143983141

Marriage is a key milesone Romanic inrigues and wedding esiviies providemajor enerainmen or all Young Middle Easern men and women whisper

abou poenial spouses and wheher romanic or arranged marriages are bes Teyeagerly awai wedding paries where young and old lisen o music and enjoy Pepsioher swee drinks and pasries Even luxurious hoel weddings assume he in-ormaliy o home as children cavor and women ululae Families ake marriageseriously Mohers and auns scou marriage prospecs or heir children a allgaherings o amily and riends and check ou he amily o anyone heir child isromanically ineresed in Brohers are ofen enrused wih gahering inelligenceon prospecsrsquo repuaions Marriage is an economic conrac negoiaed by oldermales o he wo amilies Tey deermine he bride price (mahr or sadaq) paid ohe womanrsquos aher as well as clohes jewelry and urnishings o be given by eachside Te bride price ideally includes a sum o money o be se aside and paid ohe wie in case o divorce

Once he couple is ldquoengagedrdquo via a legally binding marriage conrac heymay visi each oher a home and may dae offi cially Te wedding pary and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 914

18 G983141983150983141983154 983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

consummaion may occur monhs or even years laer Afer he pary he coupleses up housekeeping ogeher Courship engagemen and marriage cusomsdiffer signi1047297canly by locaion educaion and social saus In some Berber areaso souhern Morocco he bride lives chasely wih he groomrsquos amily or monhs

beore he wedding in order o become amiliar wih he rouine o he amily AsDawn Chaty noes among some Bedouin o Oman he groom may reside wih he bridersquos amily or a period o ime o acclimae her o his presence beore moving hero his amilyrsquos complex In he wealhy sraa o Lebanon Egyp or unisia wed-ding guess wearing French designer dresses and holding glasses o Scoch whiskeycirculae around a hoel ballroom and oas he young couplersquos healh Some wed-dings are more radiional some more modern boh in wedding syle as well as inhow he marriage was conraced as Jenny Whie illusraes wih her sories owo weddings in conemporary urkey

983151983148983140 983137983143983141 983137983150983140 983140983141983137983156983144

Wihin he sheler o he amily old age is a ime o reaping wha one has sownradiionally younger aduls consul heir elders on decisions abou medical rea-mens business deals marriages and poliical alliances Responsibiliy bu no au-horiy passes o adul children A moher is ofen de aco household head longafer her husband is dead and he oldes son has gray hair

Deah is acceped as a naural par o lie Cusomarily he uneral processiono wailing women and silen men carries he shrouded body o be buried acingMecca beore he 1047297rs sunse I is radiional or he amily o receive condolencesaferward eiher in arabesque ens se up or he occasion or a home Guess readhe aiha (he 1047297rs verse o he Qur aʾn) drink ea or coffee and lisen o Qur aʾnicreciaion Women normally receive condolences during he day a home FarhaGhannam underscores he imporance o deah riuals in Egyp and how differenamily members discuss and esablish wha i means o mourn correcly

983152983137983155983155983137983143983141983155 983156983144983154983151983157983143983144 983148983145983142983141 983140983145983142983142983141983154 983141983150983156 983148983151983139983137 983148983141983155

Passages hrough lie991252childhood marriage parening old age991252are shaped by biology and sociey Te Middle Eas embroiders differen designs or he riualsmarking each sage Erika Friedlrsquos ldquoradiional Songs rom Boir Ahmadrdquo showsone design in he songs and poery wih which Iranian villagers honor passageso lie

Unil recen decades Middle Easern amilies were no bese by Wesern socialproblems such as runaway children he youh drug culure and neglec o he el-derly Indeed many in he Middle Eas sill quesion how Wesern sociey canabandon unwaned children or grandparens who need amily care Despie hisclaim o be differen rom Wesern sociey amilies in he Middle Eas have heirown moral issues in regard o amily lie One area where Middle Easern Mus-

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 6: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 614

983145983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150

Family lie he arena or lie passage rom birh hrough circumcision adolescencemarriage and deah used o vary less by counry han i did by social group wihinand across counries For insance Bedouins and villagers hisorically lived in

exended amilies wih all he sons and wives under one roo oday economicpressures and individual preerences as well as in-counry seasonal and long-ermoreign migraion have increased he number o single-amily residences Whileamily ies remain imporan increasingly he sae privae businesses and helprom neighbors provide imporan suppor

Middle Easern youh experience a ension beween radiional de1047297niions ohe saus o youhs (hose aged welve o weny-1047297ve) and he realiy o heir livesIn previous eras young women remained wards o heir amily unil hey marriedNow ha marriage ages have shifed o he middle and lae wenies or young

women in urban areas heir need o be sel-supporing while sill considered mi-nors ied o amily makes heir saus ambiguous Young unmarried people manyo whom ace uncerainy over employmen opporuniies and marriage expeca-ions ace a grea deal o social ension as hey make choices abou wheher o re- work heir place in amily and sociey and recommi o amily values or o ollowpersonal inclinaions

Urban young people who are no ye married are orming a new subculure inpars o he Middle Eas Some are sudens some are workers Tey end on av-erage o be beter educaed han earlier generaions As in he Wes hey are eagero become acquained wih echnology and he connecions o oher worlds i o-ers Tey are working hrough ensions beween he ideniy opions available ohem rying o 1047297nd a cosmopolianism ha also 1047297s wih heir naional and ehnicaffi niies Krisin Monroe akes up he sory o young pizza deliverymen in Beiru who have no connecions o help hem She makes he poin ha differences in

Par One

GENER ATIONS AND

LIFE PASSAGES

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 714

16 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

class and naional origin have emerged alongside hisorical Lebanese disinc-ions o sec and religious communiy even as increased mobiliy in an urbanlandscape levels opporuniy coss

983138983145983154983156983144

Children are valuable and heir birh is celebraed A a seven-day naming cere-mony in radiional quarers o Cairo he newborn is shaken in a sieve while hemidwie admonishes he child o obey his or her parens As a proud American a-her oes cigars so he radiional Egypian moher disribues packes o sevenkinds o nus symbolic o eriliy o her well- wishers Some middle-class amiliesnow celebrae birhs wih ancy wrapped chocolaes ribbon- wrapped Jordan al-

monds and designer gif packages Children ensure coninuaion o he amily andcommuniy hey are as one hadih (religious radiion) saes ldquohe deligh o lierdquoFamilies doe on children and a oddler amid a group o adolescens or aduls isoverwhelmed wih affecion Chrisine Nuter-El-Ouardani in her aricle onchild developmen in rural Morocco describes how a amily socializes is chil-dren o help develop srengh and discipline Par o ha process involves learn-ing rom aduls wha is accepable behavior in relaion o oher children andaduls Parens may encourage children in pracices a home ha are a odds wihsae programs and expecaions in schools or healh clinics and children mus

navigae beween he differen worldsMuslims are expeced (no by religious commandmen bu by srong recom-mendaion) o marry and o produce progeny o increase he Muslim communiyand o bless heir own amily An unmarried person while no an anomaly sill eelssocial pressure o marry and 1047297 he ideal even hough economically she does noneed marriage since her amily members shield her rom wan or deprivaion Teamily ino which one is born he naal amily is he mos imporan social group inonersquos lie I provides proecion ood sheler income repuaion and honor

Te amily suppors he individual hrough all major lie ransiions Te am-

ily approves a spouse aids in 1047297nding a job someimes provides a home and helps oraise he grandchildren Te amily mediaes beween he individual and he ou-side world Onersquos amily name is a ready-made ideni1047297caion ha reveals boh onersquosrepuaion and onersquos access o resources Middle Easerners assume ha relaives will be avored

Onersquos posiion wihin a amily991252 wheher married single divorced widoweda paren or childless991252also de1047297nes onersquos social saus in he communiy A man isauonomous upon reaching adulhood usually eigheen bu he is expeced o sup-por boh his naal and conjugal amilies Womenrsquos legal and social adulhood aredifferen radiionally women gain saus when hey give birh o a male child andhey pour immense energy ino his upbringing When he 1047297rs son is born amongPalesinians or example he parens may be renamed991252or example ldquomoher oMuhammadrdquo and ldquoaher o Muhammadrdquo Te moher-son ie which some say ishe mos powerul relaion a woman or man will ever have is ypically a close and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 814

Inroducion o Par I 17

loving relaionship o srong dependency radiionally while daughers marry andleave he amily sons suppor heir parens alhough in recen years daughers areassuming more and more responsibiliy or heir parensrsquo suppor in old age Amongurban middle classes a womanrsquos saus is less ied o producing a male heir and

more deermined by public piey and respec gained rom her own aciviies suchas school work and communiy acion However marriage coninues o be im-mensely imporan

Te ie beween broher and siser runs a close second o he moher-son rela-ion Ideally brohers will deend a siser in need hroughou heir lives jus assisers will care or brohers as a kind o second moher Alhough a woman maymarry ou o her own naal amily she always carries is name and coninues o be close o her brohers991252someimes closer han o her husband Any misbehav-ior by a woman is a poenial source o shame o hem

Circumcision which occurs beween inancy and age en is he main rie opassage or males beween birh and marriage In counries such as Egyp andMorocco i is celebraed wih paries and congraulaions In radiional quarerso Cairo circumcision offers a sriking juxaposiion o a solemn religious evenand a carnival Young boys o be circumcised are dressed in whie in he manner oa hajji reurning rom pilgrimage Mouned on a horse he boys proceed rom hemosque a he ime o he sunse prayer Among he hrongs o amily riends andsrangers waching and cheering hem are vendors o swees and mulicolored pa-per has he later given as somehing o a consolaion prize o children who have

no been circumcised Many middle-class amilies quiely circumcise heir boys ahe clinic afer hey come home rom he hospial hey celebrae discreely wihamily and riends a home

983149983137983154983154983145983137983143983141

Marriage is a key milesone Romanic inrigues and wedding esiviies providemajor enerainmen or all Young Middle Easern men and women whisper

abou poenial spouses and wheher romanic or arranged marriages are bes Teyeagerly awai wedding paries where young and old lisen o music and enjoy Pepsioher swee drinks and pasries Even luxurious hoel weddings assume he in-ormaliy o home as children cavor and women ululae Families ake marriageseriously Mohers and auns scou marriage prospecs or heir children a allgaherings o amily and riends and check ou he amily o anyone heir child isromanically ineresed in Brohers are ofen enrused wih gahering inelligenceon prospecsrsquo repuaions Marriage is an economic conrac negoiaed by oldermales o he wo amilies Tey deermine he bride price (mahr or sadaq) paid ohe womanrsquos aher as well as clohes jewelry and urnishings o be given by eachside Te bride price ideally includes a sum o money o be se aside and paid ohe wie in case o divorce

Once he couple is ldquoengagedrdquo via a legally binding marriage conrac heymay visi each oher a home and may dae offi cially Te wedding pary and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 914

18 G983141983150983141983154 983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

consummaion may occur monhs or even years laer Afer he pary he coupleses up housekeeping ogeher Courship engagemen and marriage cusomsdiffer signi1047297canly by locaion educaion and social saus In some Berber areaso souhern Morocco he bride lives chasely wih he groomrsquos amily or monhs

beore he wedding in order o become amiliar wih he rouine o he amily AsDawn Chaty noes among some Bedouin o Oman he groom may reside wih he bridersquos amily or a period o ime o acclimae her o his presence beore moving hero his amilyrsquos complex In he wealhy sraa o Lebanon Egyp or unisia wed-ding guess wearing French designer dresses and holding glasses o Scoch whiskeycirculae around a hoel ballroom and oas he young couplersquos healh Some wed-dings are more radiional some more modern boh in wedding syle as well as inhow he marriage was conraced as Jenny Whie illusraes wih her sories owo weddings in conemporary urkey

983151983148983140 983137983143983141 983137983150983140 983140983141983137983156983144

Wihin he sheler o he amily old age is a ime o reaping wha one has sownradiionally younger aduls consul heir elders on decisions abou medical rea-mens business deals marriages and poliical alliances Responsibiliy bu no au-horiy passes o adul children A moher is ofen de aco household head longafer her husband is dead and he oldes son has gray hair

Deah is acceped as a naural par o lie Cusomarily he uneral processiono wailing women and silen men carries he shrouded body o be buried acingMecca beore he 1047297rs sunse I is radiional or he amily o receive condolencesaferward eiher in arabesque ens se up or he occasion or a home Guess readhe aiha (he 1047297rs verse o he Qur aʾn) drink ea or coffee and lisen o Qur aʾnicreciaion Women normally receive condolences during he day a home FarhaGhannam underscores he imporance o deah riuals in Egyp and how differenamily members discuss and esablish wha i means o mourn correcly

983152983137983155983155983137983143983141983155 983156983144983154983151983157983143983144 983148983145983142983141 983140983145983142983142983141983154 983141983150983156 983148983151983139983137 983148983141983155

Passages hrough lie991252childhood marriage parening old age991252are shaped by biology and sociey Te Middle Eas embroiders differen designs or he riualsmarking each sage Erika Friedlrsquos ldquoradiional Songs rom Boir Ahmadrdquo showsone design in he songs and poery wih which Iranian villagers honor passageso lie

Unil recen decades Middle Easern amilies were no bese by Wesern socialproblems such as runaway children he youh drug culure and neglec o he el-derly Indeed many in he Middle Eas sill quesion how Wesern sociey canabandon unwaned children or grandparens who need amily care Despie hisclaim o be differen rom Wesern sociey amilies in he Middle Eas have heirown moral issues in regard o amily lie One area where Middle Easern Mus-

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 7: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 714

16 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

class and naional origin have emerged alongside hisorical Lebanese disinc-ions o sec and religious communiy even as increased mobiliy in an urbanlandscape levels opporuniy coss

983138983145983154983156983144

Children are valuable and heir birh is celebraed A a seven-day naming cere-mony in radiional quarers o Cairo he newborn is shaken in a sieve while hemidwie admonishes he child o obey his or her parens As a proud American a-her oes cigars so he radiional Egypian moher disribues packes o sevenkinds o nus symbolic o eriliy o her well- wishers Some middle-class amiliesnow celebrae birhs wih ancy wrapped chocolaes ribbon- wrapped Jordan al-

monds and designer gif packages Children ensure coninuaion o he amily andcommuniy hey are as one hadih (religious radiion) saes ldquohe deligh o lierdquoFamilies doe on children and a oddler amid a group o adolescens or aduls isoverwhelmed wih affecion Chrisine Nuter-El-Ouardani in her aricle onchild developmen in rural Morocco describes how a amily socializes is chil-dren o help develop srengh and discipline Par o ha process involves learn-ing rom aduls wha is accepable behavior in relaion o oher children andaduls Parens may encourage children in pracices a home ha are a odds wihsae programs and expecaions in schools or healh clinics and children mus

navigae beween he differen worldsMuslims are expeced (no by religious commandmen bu by srong recom-mendaion) o marry and o produce progeny o increase he Muslim communiyand o bless heir own amily An unmarried person while no an anomaly sill eelssocial pressure o marry and 1047297 he ideal even hough economically she does noneed marriage since her amily members shield her rom wan or deprivaion Teamily ino which one is born he naal amily is he mos imporan social group inonersquos lie I provides proecion ood sheler income repuaion and honor

Te amily suppors he individual hrough all major lie ransiions Te am-

ily approves a spouse aids in 1047297nding a job someimes provides a home and helps oraise he grandchildren Te amily mediaes beween he individual and he ou-side world Onersquos amily name is a ready-made ideni1047297caion ha reveals boh onersquosrepuaion and onersquos access o resources Middle Easerners assume ha relaives will be avored

Onersquos posiion wihin a amily991252 wheher married single divorced widoweda paren or childless991252also de1047297nes onersquos social saus in he communiy A man isauonomous upon reaching adulhood usually eigheen bu he is expeced o sup-por boh his naal and conjugal amilies Womenrsquos legal and social adulhood aredifferen radiionally women gain saus when hey give birh o a male child andhey pour immense energy ino his upbringing When he 1047297rs son is born amongPalesinians or example he parens may be renamed991252or example ldquomoher oMuhammadrdquo and ldquoaher o Muhammadrdquo Te moher-son ie which some say ishe mos powerul relaion a woman or man will ever have is ypically a close and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 814

Inroducion o Par I 17

loving relaionship o srong dependency radiionally while daughers marry andleave he amily sons suppor heir parens alhough in recen years daughers areassuming more and more responsibiliy or heir parensrsquo suppor in old age Amongurban middle classes a womanrsquos saus is less ied o producing a male heir and

more deermined by public piey and respec gained rom her own aciviies suchas school work and communiy acion However marriage coninues o be im-mensely imporan

Te ie beween broher and siser runs a close second o he moher-son rela-ion Ideally brohers will deend a siser in need hroughou heir lives jus assisers will care or brohers as a kind o second moher Alhough a woman maymarry ou o her own naal amily she always carries is name and coninues o be close o her brohers991252someimes closer han o her husband Any misbehav-ior by a woman is a poenial source o shame o hem

Circumcision which occurs beween inancy and age en is he main rie opassage or males beween birh and marriage In counries such as Egyp andMorocco i is celebraed wih paries and congraulaions In radiional quarerso Cairo circumcision offers a sriking juxaposiion o a solemn religious evenand a carnival Young boys o be circumcised are dressed in whie in he manner oa hajji reurning rom pilgrimage Mouned on a horse he boys proceed rom hemosque a he ime o he sunse prayer Among he hrongs o amily riends andsrangers waching and cheering hem are vendors o swees and mulicolored pa-per has he later given as somehing o a consolaion prize o children who have

no been circumcised Many middle-class amilies quiely circumcise heir boys ahe clinic afer hey come home rom he hospial hey celebrae discreely wihamily and riends a home

983149983137983154983154983145983137983143983141

Marriage is a key milesone Romanic inrigues and wedding esiviies providemajor enerainmen or all Young Middle Easern men and women whisper

abou poenial spouses and wheher romanic or arranged marriages are bes Teyeagerly awai wedding paries where young and old lisen o music and enjoy Pepsioher swee drinks and pasries Even luxurious hoel weddings assume he in-ormaliy o home as children cavor and women ululae Families ake marriageseriously Mohers and auns scou marriage prospecs or heir children a allgaherings o amily and riends and check ou he amily o anyone heir child isromanically ineresed in Brohers are ofen enrused wih gahering inelligenceon prospecsrsquo repuaions Marriage is an economic conrac negoiaed by oldermales o he wo amilies Tey deermine he bride price (mahr or sadaq) paid ohe womanrsquos aher as well as clohes jewelry and urnishings o be given by eachside Te bride price ideally includes a sum o money o be se aside and paid ohe wie in case o divorce

Once he couple is ldquoengagedrdquo via a legally binding marriage conrac heymay visi each oher a home and may dae offi cially Te wedding pary and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 914

18 G983141983150983141983154 983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

consummaion may occur monhs or even years laer Afer he pary he coupleses up housekeeping ogeher Courship engagemen and marriage cusomsdiffer signi1047297canly by locaion educaion and social saus In some Berber areaso souhern Morocco he bride lives chasely wih he groomrsquos amily or monhs

beore he wedding in order o become amiliar wih he rouine o he amily AsDawn Chaty noes among some Bedouin o Oman he groom may reside wih he bridersquos amily or a period o ime o acclimae her o his presence beore moving hero his amilyrsquos complex In he wealhy sraa o Lebanon Egyp or unisia wed-ding guess wearing French designer dresses and holding glasses o Scoch whiskeycirculae around a hoel ballroom and oas he young couplersquos healh Some wed-dings are more radiional some more modern boh in wedding syle as well as inhow he marriage was conraced as Jenny Whie illusraes wih her sories owo weddings in conemporary urkey

983151983148983140 983137983143983141 983137983150983140 983140983141983137983156983144

Wihin he sheler o he amily old age is a ime o reaping wha one has sownradiionally younger aduls consul heir elders on decisions abou medical rea-mens business deals marriages and poliical alliances Responsibiliy bu no au-horiy passes o adul children A moher is ofen de aco household head longafer her husband is dead and he oldes son has gray hair

Deah is acceped as a naural par o lie Cusomarily he uneral processiono wailing women and silen men carries he shrouded body o be buried acingMecca beore he 1047297rs sunse I is radiional or he amily o receive condolencesaferward eiher in arabesque ens se up or he occasion or a home Guess readhe aiha (he 1047297rs verse o he Qur aʾn) drink ea or coffee and lisen o Qur aʾnicreciaion Women normally receive condolences during he day a home FarhaGhannam underscores he imporance o deah riuals in Egyp and how differenamily members discuss and esablish wha i means o mourn correcly

983152983137983155983155983137983143983141983155 983156983144983154983151983157983143983144 983148983145983142983141 983140983145983142983142983141983154 983141983150983156 983148983151983139983137 983148983141983155

Passages hrough lie991252childhood marriage parening old age991252are shaped by biology and sociey Te Middle Eas embroiders differen designs or he riualsmarking each sage Erika Friedlrsquos ldquoradiional Songs rom Boir Ahmadrdquo showsone design in he songs and poery wih which Iranian villagers honor passageso lie

Unil recen decades Middle Easern amilies were no bese by Wesern socialproblems such as runaway children he youh drug culure and neglec o he el-derly Indeed many in he Middle Eas sill quesion how Wesern sociey canabandon unwaned children or grandparens who need amily care Despie hisclaim o be differen rom Wesern sociey amilies in he Middle Eas have heirown moral issues in regard o amily lie One area where Middle Easern Mus-

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 8: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 814

Inroducion o Par I 17

loving relaionship o srong dependency radiionally while daughers marry andleave he amily sons suppor heir parens alhough in recen years daughers areassuming more and more responsibiliy or heir parensrsquo suppor in old age Amongurban middle classes a womanrsquos saus is less ied o producing a male heir and

more deermined by public piey and respec gained rom her own aciviies suchas school work and communiy acion However marriage coninues o be im-mensely imporan

Te ie beween broher and siser runs a close second o he moher-son rela-ion Ideally brohers will deend a siser in need hroughou heir lives jus assisers will care or brohers as a kind o second moher Alhough a woman maymarry ou o her own naal amily she always carries is name and coninues o be close o her brohers991252someimes closer han o her husband Any misbehav-ior by a woman is a poenial source o shame o hem

Circumcision which occurs beween inancy and age en is he main rie opassage or males beween birh and marriage In counries such as Egyp andMorocco i is celebraed wih paries and congraulaions In radiional quarerso Cairo circumcision offers a sriking juxaposiion o a solemn religious evenand a carnival Young boys o be circumcised are dressed in whie in he manner oa hajji reurning rom pilgrimage Mouned on a horse he boys proceed rom hemosque a he ime o he sunse prayer Among he hrongs o amily riends andsrangers waching and cheering hem are vendors o swees and mulicolored pa-per has he later given as somehing o a consolaion prize o children who have

no been circumcised Many middle-class amilies quiely circumcise heir boys ahe clinic afer hey come home rom he hospial hey celebrae discreely wihamily and riends a home

983149983137983154983154983145983137983143983141

Marriage is a key milesone Romanic inrigues and wedding esiviies providemajor enerainmen or all Young Middle Easern men and women whisper

abou poenial spouses and wheher romanic or arranged marriages are bes Teyeagerly awai wedding paries where young and old lisen o music and enjoy Pepsioher swee drinks and pasries Even luxurious hoel weddings assume he in-ormaliy o home as children cavor and women ululae Families ake marriageseriously Mohers and auns scou marriage prospecs or heir children a allgaherings o amily and riends and check ou he amily o anyone heir child isromanically ineresed in Brohers are ofen enrused wih gahering inelligenceon prospecsrsquo repuaions Marriage is an economic conrac negoiaed by oldermales o he wo amilies Tey deermine he bride price (mahr or sadaq) paid ohe womanrsquos aher as well as clohes jewelry and urnishings o be given by eachside Te bride price ideally includes a sum o money o be se aside and paid ohe wie in case o divorce

Once he couple is ldquoengagedrdquo via a legally binding marriage conrac heymay visi each oher a home and may dae offi cially Te wedding pary and

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 914

18 G983141983150983141983154 983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

consummaion may occur monhs or even years laer Afer he pary he coupleses up housekeeping ogeher Courship engagemen and marriage cusomsdiffer signi1047297canly by locaion educaion and social saus In some Berber areaso souhern Morocco he bride lives chasely wih he groomrsquos amily or monhs

beore he wedding in order o become amiliar wih he rouine o he amily AsDawn Chaty noes among some Bedouin o Oman he groom may reside wih he bridersquos amily or a period o ime o acclimae her o his presence beore moving hero his amilyrsquos complex In he wealhy sraa o Lebanon Egyp or unisia wed-ding guess wearing French designer dresses and holding glasses o Scoch whiskeycirculae around a hoel ballroom and oas he young couplersquos healh Some wed-dings are more radiional some more modern boh in wedding syle as well as inhow he marriage was conraced as Jenny Whie illusraes wih her sories owo weddings in conemporary urkey

983151983148983140 983137983143983141 983137983150983140 983140983141983137983156983144

Wihin he sheler o he amily old age is a ime o reaping wha one has sownradiionally younger aduls consul heir elders on decisions abou medical rea-mens business deals marriages and poliical alliances Responsibiliy bu no au-horiy passes o adul children A moher is ofen de aco household head longafer her husband is dead and he oldes son has gray hair

Deah is acceped as a naural par o lie Cusomarily he uneral processiono wailing women and silen men carries he shrouded body o be buried acingMecca beore he 1047297rs sunse I is radiional or he amily o receive condolencesaferward eiher in arabesque ens se up or he occasion or a home Guess readhe aiha (he 1047297rs verse o he Qur aʾn) drink ea or coffee and lisen o Qur aʾnicreciaion Women normally receive condolences during he day a home FarhaGhannam underscores he imporance o deah riuals in Egyp and how differenamily members discuss and esablish wha i means o mourn correcly

983152983137983155983155983137983143983141983155 983156983144983154983151983157983143983144 983148983145983142983141 983140983145983142983142983141983154 983141983150983156 983148983151983139983137 983148983141983155

Passages hrough lie991252childhood marriage parening old age991252are shaped by biology and sociey Te Middle Eas embroiders differen designs or he riualsmarking each sage Erika Friedlrsquos ldquoradiional Songs rom Boir Ahmadrdquo showsone design in he songs and poery wih which Iranian villagers honor passageso lie

Unil recen decades Middle Easern amilies were no bese by Wesern socialproblems such as runaway children he youh drug culure and neglec o he el-derly Indeed many in he Middle Eas sill quesion how Wesern sociey canabandon unwaned children or grandparens who need amily care Despie hisclaim o be differen rom Wesern sociey amilies in he Middle Eas have heirown moral issues in regard o amily lie One area where Middle Easern Mus-

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 9: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 914

18 G983141983150983141983154 983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

consummaion may occur monhs or even years laer Afer he pary he coupleses up housekeeping ogeher Courship engagemen and marriage cusomsdiffer signi1047297canly by locaion educaion and social saus In some Berber areaso souhern Morocco he bride lives chasely wih he groomrsquos amily or monhs

beore he wedding in order o become amiliar wih he rouine o he amily AsDawn Chaty noes among some Bedouin o Oman he groom may reside wih he bridersquos amily or a period o ime o acclimae her o his presence beore moving hero his amilyrsquos complex In he wealhy sraa o Lebanon Egyp or unisia wed-ding guess wearing French designer dresses and holding glasses o Scoch whiskeycirculae around a hoel ballroom and oas he young couplersquos healh Some wed-dings are more radiional some more modern boh in wedding syle as well as inhow he marriage was conraced as Jenny Whie illusraes wih her sories owo weddings in conemporary urkey

983151983148983140 983137983143983141 983137983150983140 983140983141983137983156983144

Wihin he sheler o he amily old age is a ime o reaping wha one has sownradiionally younger aduls consul heir elders on decisions abou medical rea-mens business deals marriages and poliical alliances Responsibiliy bu no au-horiy passes o adul children A moher is ofen de aco household head longafer her husband is dead and he oldes son has gray hair

Deah is acceped as a naural par o lie Cusomarily he uneral processiono wailing women and silen men carries he shrouded body o be buried acingMecca beore he 1047297rs sunse I is radiional or he amily o receive condolencesaferward eiher in arabesque ens se up or he occasion or a home Guess readhe aiha (he 1047297rs verse o he Qur aʾn) drink ea or coffee and lisen o Qur aʾnicreciaion Women normally receive condolences during he day a home FarhaGhannam underscores he imporance o deah riuals in Egyp and how differenamily members discuss and esablish wha i means o mourn correcly

983152983137983155983155983137983143983141983155 983156983144983154983151983157983143983144 983148983145983142983141 983140983145983142983142983141983154 983141983150983156 983148983151983139983137 983148983141983155

Passages hrough lie991252childhood marriage parening old age991252are shaped by biology and sociey Te Middle Eas embroiders differen designs or he riualsmarking each sage Erika Friedlrsquos ldquoradiional Songs rom Boir Ahmadrdquo showsone design in he songs and poery wih which Iranian villagers honor passageso lie

Unil recen decades Middle Easern amilies were no bese by Wesern socialproblems such as runaway children he youh drug culure and neglec o he el-derly Indeed many in he Middle Eas sill quesion how Wesern sociey canabandon unwaned children or grandparens who need amily care Despie hisclaim o be differen rom Wesern sociey amilies in he Middle Eas have heirown moral issues in regard o amily lie One area where Middle Easern Mus-

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 10: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1014

Inroducion o Par I 19

lims ackle diffi cul ehical quesions wihin a Muslim ramework is organ rans-plans and he lie-and-deah consequences o hose choices Sherine Hamdy ex-plores he impac o new echnologies and increasing environmenal healh risksas individual and amilies ace decisions abou reamen paterns organ rans-

plans and issues o qualiy versus lengh o lie

A983155 we read abou differen ceremonies differen amily expecaions or puberyand daing and differen de1047297niions o adulhood we may ask Wha is disinciveabou growing up in he Middle Eas Has he Middle Eas escaped he pialls orebellion by he younger generaion and neglec o he elderly Or are is values al-ready changing Is Islam criical o he srengh o he amily or is he linchpinsomehing else such as a srong pariarchy or he cenraliy o amily ideniy Tedeails o he individual lives presened in he ollowing selecions help o address

such broad culural quesions

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 11: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1114

983138983145983154983156983144

Oh he red-lipped beauy is in labor painsMay God make i a boy

Oh my dear oh my siser

your baby boy is cry ing

983159983141983140983140983145983150983143

Te songs below commen on he evens rom courship o he acual wedding and wereradiionally sung a he differen sages o a wedding Since he Islamic Revoluion in

Iran singing o such songs has declined Tere is mosly modern urban music a wed-dings in Iran now

Te 1047297rs seven songs are love songs ha could be sung a many occasions no jusa weddings

Tree hings I ask o Goda good horse a good ri1047298e and a pair o brown eyes

Oh my uncles are you heahensSpeak up or me o ge me he red-lipped beauy

I wish I was your mascara brushinside your jackenex o your breass

I wish I was your ri1047298e991252on your shoulder by day and a nigh under your shawl

( A woman is speaking)

1 Traditional Songs from Boir Ahmad

Colleced and ranslaed by Erika Friedl

Te ollowing songs abou childbirh marriage and deah are sungby women o he Boir Ahmad ribe in souhwesern Iran during imeso lie crises Te mea phors range rom young womenrsquos mascara o dailyherding duies 991252Eds

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 12: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1214

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 21

And i you wen up in he sky o hide behind raincloudsmy eyes would play in yours

ell your moher I am a your ser vice991252Te beads around your neck have se me a1047297re

Las nigh while you carried your waer sack I saw your hipsI your aher asks a housand oman or you Irsquol l give him more

Lucky he man who has a srong horse a good ri1047298ea sof-spoken moher-in-law and a prety bride

omorrow morning wersquoll ech he brideor he lion-groomrsquos pleasure

How nice i is o moun a brown horseand ride rom morning o nigh or he bride

Ge up blossom pu on your shoes irsquos ime o goHis horsemen are here i is ime o be bashul

I ell you dear keep your house wellTe bride is crying991252I am so young I wonrsquo marry

( A moher and a young bride are speaking)

Moher o he bride why are you cryingOn your daugherrsquos cap are a hundred oman worh o gold

(Te gold reers o he gold coins ha radiionally were sewn on abridersquos cap)

Te orange blossom sepped ou o her house when her lion-groomrsquos bridewealh appeared ou o he shade

My God how long am I o wai in he crowd ouside his house

Te moon is ading and he morning sar is high

( A bride is complaining abou having o wai in ron o her groomrsquoshouse991252her enourage is singing)

Te bridal chamber is ready a rich bridal chamberIn i he lion-groom is playing wih a iger

How pleasan is your bride chamberrsquos ragranceTe lion-groomrsquos hands are in his bridersquos braids

You have a rich skir and a red scar on your headand your husband wil l ake care o all your roubles

(Sung or a bride)

I you wan your husband o like you swing your hips

and early in he morning sprinkle rosewaer on he bed(Sung or a bride)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 13: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1314

22 G983141983150983141983154983137983156983145983151983150983155 983137983150983140 L983145983142983141 P983137983155983155983137983143983141983155

983140983141983137983156983144

Songs o mourning are sill sung by Iranian women bu only in privae no longer a unerals

Angel o Deah give me ime I havenrsquo ye 1047297nished wo asksMy oldes I havenrsquo given a wie my baby I havenrsquo brough up

(For a woman wih young children)

She was pregnan and asked or a cradle bu her broher had no plain woodFor her he waned o use he bes sandalwood

(For a pregnan woman or one who dies in childbirh)

I wen o her house bu she wasnrsquo hereShe lef or he high mounain spring o wash her coton skir

(Tis and he ollowing eigh songs are or women praising heir beauywealh and indusry)

I looked down rom he hillop she was abou o milk her herdTe swing rod on her butering sand was o ragran wood ied wih

brigh coton

Donrsquo le her en come down i has ory ropes all in placeighen hem 1047297rmly clouds are in he sky

Te ens were sil l piched up in he winer camp bu she packed orhe camp in he mounains

Donrsquo leave spin a litle more on your spindle your dowry isnrsquo yecomplee

(Tis song is sung mosly or young unmarried women)

Fold your nice scar your prety shir and pu hem in he bundleI is ime o break camp and move up o he mounains

Te beauiul womanrsquos necklace brokeTe beads o coral and gold dropped ino her lap

Te woman lef or her moherrsquos so asha neiher a horseman nor a bird can cach up wih her

Te wo o us sisers wen o pick 1047298owers bu rain and snow came down hard and we los sigh o each oher

Child like a ree wih roos in loose gravellike a ree all dried up you havenrsquo born rui

(Tere are ew mourning songs or children I is said ha mourning or

children is harmul o he dead childrsquos soul)Te maser huner wen on a hun Nigh ell bu he didnrsquo come backEiher he iger go his dog or he nigh ook him by surprise

(For a huner bu also or any man)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press

Page 14: Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East, Third Edition (excerpt)

892019 Everyday Life in the Muslim Middle East Third Edition (excerpt)

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulleveryday-life-in-the-muslim-middle-east-third-edition-excerpt 1414

radiional Songs fom Boir Ahmad 23

I saw your ri1047298e is but ull o bloodIs i yours or ha o a wild buck

(For a huner who died o bulle wounds usually in a batle)

A parridge wih wo chicks lef hem and sa down on a rockI has no come back all summer and he eagle ae he young

(For a huner who leaves young children)

Te lad wih he 1047297ne whie cap disappeared over he passDonrsquo call him maybe hersquoll come back by himsel

(For a young man)

Tis 1047297ne young man hey pu on a srecherHis hair has he ragrance o mounain 1047298owers

(For a young man)

Te gorge is 1047297lled wih he hunder o gunshosTe young man was killed here by a pair o igers

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Bang bang rom he river comes he noise o batleTe young men spoil or a 1047297gh

(For a young man killed in a batle)

Boir Ahmad boy le us look a you A en- bulle ri1047298e is on yourshoulder

and a red 1047298owerndash bulle wound is on your whie shir(For a young 1047297gher)

Te girlrsquos ears inkle like bells I donrsquo knowdoes she cry ou o her own misery or or her broher

(Sung by a woman or her dead broher)

983142983157983154983156983144983141983154 983154 983141983137983140983145983150983143983155

Friedl Erika 1989 Women o Deh Koh Lives in an Iranian Village New York Penguin Booksmdashmdashmdash 1997 Children o Deh Koh Young Lie in an Iranian Village Syracuse NY Syracuse

Universiy Press