Year 9 Poetry of Love and Loss 2016 v1

Content

Students will develop their ability to understand the form and style of a selection of poetry through creative response to poetry, guided cloze activities and short analytical responses, developing their metalanguage for describing literary texts. They will develop their ability to understand the impact of particular language and form choices by comparing drafts of poems and writing their own poetry. In particular, they will study the war poetry of Wilfred Owen and love sonnets of William Shakespeare creating their own sonnet and commentary. There are options to include research into world war poetry, Shakespeare and his life and do a formal oral presentation on a poem of their choice or on Shakespeare.

Key Terms

Metaphor, simile, imagery, onomatopoeia, iambic pentameter, Petrarchan Sonnet, Shakespearean Sonnet, rhyme scheme, stress, figurative language, octave, sestet,

Skills

Students will be able to:

Use drafting to refine their creative writing to create particular moods

Write a Shakespearean sonnet employing appropriate meter, rhyme scheme and figurative language

Write analytically about poetry, using evidence to support their thinking

Knowledge

Students will know:

Wilfred Owen was a British WWI poet

The Petrarchan sonnet form developed in Italy in the thirteenth century and has fourteen lines of two stanzas octave and sestet with a rhyme scheme of abba, abba, cdecde or cdcdcd.

The Shakespearean sonnet form was used by Shakespeare and also uses fourteen lines, with iambic pentameter and as four parts. The first three parts are each four lines long, and are known as quatrains, rhymed ABAB; the fourth part is called the couplet, and is rhymed CC

Sonnets are usually but not always love poems

The poems Dulce et Decorum Est and Anthem for Doomed Youth by Wilfred Owen and Sonnets 116 and 130 by William Shakespeare

The social and historical context of Wilfred Owens poetry

Understanding

Students will understand that:

Poets use alliteration, imagery, strong verbs to emphasise mood and meaning in their poems

Drafting is crucial process in producing writing that has a strong impact and message for the reader

The manipulation of stress patterns and line lengths can affect the mood of a poem

Resources

Integrated throughout the unit

Links to Victorian Curriculum English Level 9

Responding to literature

Present an argument about a literary text based on initial impressions and subsequent analysis of the whole text(VCELT436)

Examining literature

Analyse texts from familiar and unfamiliar contexts, and discuss and evaluate their content and the appeal of an individual authors literary style(VCELT438)

Analyse text structures and language features of literary texts, and make relevant comparisons with other texts(VCELT439)

Writing - Experiment with the ways that language features, image and sound can be adapted in literary texts(VCELT447)

Speaking and listening - Listen to spoken texts constructed for different purposes and analyse how language features in these texts position listeners to respond in particular ways, and consider the interaction skills used to present and discuss ideas, or to influence and engage audiences through persuasive language, varied voice tone, pitch and pace(VCELY455)

Learning Activity

Student Product

Assessment

F/S

Dulce et Decorum Est

Ensure students understand the meaning of connotation.

Write the words and phrases below up on the board in a scattered manner leaving lots of space around each word or phrase. Make sure the literal meaning of all words is understood. Ask students to come up to the board and write their thoughts/feelings/ideas, text to self, text to text and text to world connections (i.e. the connotations for them) in response to at least one of the words and/or phrases.

Sludge

Haunting flares

Blood-shod

Drunk with fatigue

Guttering

Smothering dreams

Cancer

Glory

Misty panes

Helpless sight

Froth-corrupted

Yellling

Stumbling

Sores

As a class discuss these responses. Consider what sort of writing the words might come from what it might be about. Consider the mood of the writing. Five to ten minute fast writing activity by hand.

1 Write down favourite words and responses in paragraphs

2 Some students might write their own piece using only some of the words and phrases. Do NOT rhyme, or shape, just immediate instinctive writing that could be used later. Not to be assessed

Some resistant/weak dyslexic students may draw their responses instead (Id let them know personally out of hearing of the rest of the class!)

Thoughts and text connections to language notes on board or on sheet

Draft writing creative - individual

F

F prep for later finished piece

Hand out the Cloze activity of Dulce et Decorum Est with the gaps. Explain meaning of last two lines (It is sweet and honourable/decorous to die for ones country) and other vocab or leave students to look it up for themselves and make a note of at least three new words. In pairs students decide which of the words offered should go in the gaps. Have a structured discussion ensuring every pair contributes and justifies their ideas on which words go where allow free flowing discussion and open questions. Try to avoid saying what is right or wrong at this stage to help develop critical thinking skills. Prompt students to talk about the connotations of different vocabulary choices.

Cloze and discussion of Owens language choices.

Write down some poetic terms.

F developing awareness of language precision

Hand out Dulce et Decorum Est complete with questions. You may wish to play this reading of the poem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB4cdRgIcB8 or

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0ZW_E4EaSU

(This has images in black and white check first before showing)

Note the different line at end of first stanza different versions around flexibility of poetry. Likewise ask students if any thought their choices better than poets final.

(There are many readings on YouTube you may wish to discuss the different impact of different readings if time.)

Students to complete questions 1 6 Could be done in pairs using Google Docs or as whole class. You may wish to model some answers. Goal is for all students to develop and improve analytical writing skills being precise and giving evidence. I would advise giving comments not grades not giving formal rubric assessment.

Listening to poetry being read

Analytical written response to poetry may not be individual

S but not formally assessed

Provide some background information on Owen.

You may wish to show this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ByZU0-NNSs

(About an hour long Channel 4 documentary all about Wilfred Owen. I would suggest showing in small chunks and students write key facts in one column of a chart and thoughts/feelings/questions in another column and discuss as you go. Ive not watched all of it, but its reputable.)

Or use something short and sweet like this

http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/historic_figures/owen_wilfred.shtml

(Your class may wish to do a research project on World War poetry at this stage if you have time and you could add in Australian war poetry Kenneth Slessors Beach Burial for instance.)

Notes on Owen

F

Students could return to their fast writing and add to it again do in a timed fashion and try to encourage students not to worry about form and rhyme, but simply add ideas and imagery. No more than ten minutes.

Drafting of writing for later piece

F

Drafting and Improving Writing Anthem for Doomed Youth

Depending on your class you may wish to go straight to Owens drafts (Sheet C) or use mine first (Sheet D). Whatever poem(s) you use aim to have students find differences in language and form and discuss these differences in terms of the impact of the poem its mood and message.

I suggest explaining difficult vocabulary before beginning the Owen poem. You could get students to write sentences using some of this vocab as a good vocab building exercise - or incorporate into spelling tests.

Make sure you point out the impact of enjambment and alliteration and onomatopoeia in lines 3 and 4 of the final Owen poem. Would be good to write these lines up on the board and get a student to mark the stresses too to show how the rhythm adds to the impact of rifles rapid rattle.

After looking at these drafts get students to turn their fast writing into a final piece via at least two drafts. They should aim for a poem of at least 16 lines or a descriptive prose of at least 200 words. They may use some of Owens language or none. They may write about a moment in war or of something else. The focus should be on creating a particular mood and considering the perspective (Is it told by someone there like Owens piece or someone outside? Is it told in the first person?). At this stage students should avoid worrying about rhyme.) You may wish to have students write a short commentary on what they intended the impact of their writing to be and how they used the language. Again Id advise against using strict rubrics and marks comments only for your feedback. (You could exclude this writing if you dont have time as students will also be writing a sonnet.

Discussion of drafts learning about form as well as style

Written creative piece and commentary (can be excluded)

F

S but no rubric or marks use comments only

Sonnet Forms

Now explain Petrarchan(Italian) and Shakespearean sonnet forms to students. https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/text/sonnet-poetic-form or see materials from Sonnet 116 I suggest brief notes are made by students.

Get students to then look at C Anthem for Doomed Youth and work out which form it most closely resembles by marking rhyme scheme and counting lines. (It resembles Petrarchan.) Discuss why Owen may have chosen to use the sonnet form theres no definite answer in my view.

You may want some help from Shmoop in unpacking the impact of the form on the poem

http://www.shmoop.com/anthem-for-doomed-youth/rhyme-form-meter.html

Notes on Petrarchan and Sonnet Forms

Discussion of Anthem for Doomed Youth

F

F

Shakespeares Sonnets

Sonnet 130 My Mistress Eyes are Nothing Like the Sun (copy below)

Explain some of the difficult words and phrases such as dun, reeks, belied, false compare, damask, hath, but do not show the poem or explain it.

Read the poem aloud several times and get students to draw in response as you read they can draw literal representations of what they hear or abstract drawings that represents the mood and or ideas they sense. Fun to provide coloured pens for this. Yes students can draw breasts! Students then share their responses with each other. Show them the poem find online easily and get them to make notes under the drawings of the lines that inspired these lines. Discuss if they think this is a love poem or not? Why not? (I thoroughly recommend this activity it really engages students and allows for individual interpretation and de mystifies Shakespeare.)

Now get them to work out the form of the poem yes its a Shakespearean sonnet!

Drawings and some notes in response to Sonnet 130. Discussion of impact of poem.

F

Students should then do the Activities from Sonnet 116 onwards (see below involves analysing Sonnet 116 and then writing their own sonnet and commentary with formal rubric attached.) They could write a war sonnet like Owens if they prefer.

Just for fun you might want to look at how this guy has turned pop songs into Shakespearean sonnets

http://popsonnet.tumblr.com/post/138238166781

Analysis of sonnet and writing own sonnet

S with rubric

If you have time you might want to do some introduction to Shakespeare.

This rap is perfect to start

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_auc2Z67OM Kate Tempest talks of what Shakespeare means to her.

If you want to include a formal oral component you could get kids to perform poems of their choice or teach the class about a poem or teach the class a bit about Shakespeare. Or do a hip hop version of a Shakespearean sonnet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSbtkLA3GrY- 20 minute video of hip-hop and Shakespeare - very very good

Sheet C

Anthem for Doomed Youth' Wilfred Owen

Draft One

What passing/minute bells for these who die so fast?

Only the solemn/monstrous anger of the/our guns.

Let the majestic insults of their iron mouths

Be as the priest's words/requiem of their burials.

Of choristers and holy music, none;

Nor any voice of mourning, save the wail

The long-drawn wail of high far-sailing shells.

What candles may we hold for these lost souls?

Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes

Shall shine the many candles/holy flames;....

And women's wide-spread arms shall be their wreaths,

And pallor of girls' cheeks shall be their palls.

Their flowers, the tenderness of rough men's minds

And every/each slow Dusk, a drawing down of blinds.

Draft 2

What passing bells for you who die in herds?

Only the monstrous anger of more guns.

Only the stuttering rifles' rattled words

Can patter out your hasty orisons.

No chants for you, nor balms, nor wreaths, nor bells,

Nor any voice of mourning, save the choirs,

The shrill demented choirs of wailing shells,

And bugles calling for you from sad shires

What candles may we hold to speed you all?

Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes

Shall shine the holy lights of long goodbyes.

The pallor of girls' brows shall be your pall;

Your flowers the tenderness of mortal minds;

And each slow dusk, a drawing-down of blinds.

Final (after five drafts)

What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?

Only the monstrous anger of the guns.

Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle

Can patter out their hasty orisons.

No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells,

Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs, -

The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;

And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What candles may be held to speed them all?

Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes

Shall shine the holy glimmers of good-byes.

The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;

Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,

And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

Sheet D

Model Aeroplane - Draft

There was something a little wrong with this

plane and Merv had to suck some dirt from

the fuel line to get it to start.

Samuel and I sat on the scratchy grass

and watched gazed at the 2ft model hurtling

like a winged sewing machine

clattering itself like a too noisy

dragonfly down the paddock

up into the sky

The baby in the house turned to look/hear

the noise

as it made wound its way up higher and higher

transforming by degrees

from a model to a toy to

of real a real plane aeroplane to dot stamped high

the clouds blue.

The the engine stopped/ cut out

I created a plummet that was down, which was

swept aside by an elegant circling

to the ground/ suddenly removed consequence

And the silence am

simulacrum beauty/The beauty of its flight announcing/ed by the silence

and it as it inscribed it silhouette across a back a cumulus, above a sheep

and the half empty dam it seemed to be saying something important about the

sky

which perhaps a back lit cumulus could understand but certainly not me

and some kind of consolation for human ingenuity

as it landed like a feather/ on the ground.

Alice White

Sheet D

Model Aeroplane

Merv sucked the fuel line clean

and this time the engine started.

Samuel gazed from the scratchy grass

as the two foot model hurtled like a winged

sewing machine down the paddock

and into the sky.

The baby in the house turned to look

as this noise became a black dot

on blue.

The engine cut out.

Like a suddenly removed consequence

the aeroplane failed to plummet;

so the silence announced its simulacrum beauty

inscribing silhouette across cumulus,

and in a movement of consolation for human ingenuity

led the aeroplane down to the ground like a feather.

Alice White 2006

Highly Commended Melbourne Poets Union International Competition 2007

My mistress eyes are nothing like the sun (Sonnet 130)

William Shakespeare,1564-1616

My mistress eyes are nothing like the sun;

Coral is far more red than her lips red;

If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses damasked, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

And in some perfumes is there more delight

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know

That music hath a far more pleasing sound;

I grant I never saw a goddess go;

My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare

As any she belied with false compare.

Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true mindsAdmit impediments. Love is not loveWhich alters when it alteration finds,Or bends with the remover to remove:O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken;It is the star to every wandering bark,Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

What is a sonnet? It is a lyric poem consisting of a single stanza of fourteen iambic pentameter lines linked by an intricate rhyme scheme. There are two major patterns of rhyme in sonnets written in the English language: Italian and Shakespearean.

Shakespearean sonnets consist of three groups of four lines called quatrains and a couplet (two lines) at the very end. The last syllables of each line rhyme not with the line after it, but with the one after that (minds and finds) in each quatrain.

Iambic pentameter is the rhythm by which poetry is metered. It has five main beats and five unstressed beats. For example: Let me not to the marriage of true minds. See your text p.23 for more information.

A lyric is a fairly short poem from the perspective of a single speaker who expresses a state of mind, including thoughts and feelings.

1. Put a line where each quatrain ends. Identify the rhyming words and their pairs.

2. What is this sonnet about?

3. How do you know? Quote specific lines and words from the sonnet in your explanation.

4. Are there words/phrases that youre not sure about? Write them below and well go over them together.

Dont let there be obstacles for two people being together

Love isnt love if it changes when it finds changes,

Or leaves when one person leaves the relationship.

Oh no! It is something that stays the same forever

That stays the same throughout storms and is never moved.

It is the star that guides every wandering ship

Which is priceless, even though there are ways of measuring stars.

Love does not depend on time, although people(and their beauty) who are loved sometimes fade and die.

Love does not change through small amounts of time,

But lives on until the end of the world.

If this is wrong and proved to me to be wrong,

Then I have never written anything and no person has ever loved.

Poetry is about manipulating language to convey a mood, an idea, a feeling. It is sometimes described as painting with words. Below are some examples of descriptive writing by Margaret Atwood in her novel The Blind Assassin that convey something to the reader without explaining it:

Descriptive writing

Explanatory writing

A hot wind was blowing around my head, the strands of my hair lifting and swirling in it, like ink spilled in water.

It was hot and humid. The wind blew through my hair, spreading it out.

What had she been thinking of as the car sailed off the bridge, then hung suspended in the afternoon sunlight, glinting like a dragonfly for that one instant of held breath before the plummet?

Holding her hand over the picture, she can still feel the heat coming up from it, like the heat from a sun-warmed stone at midnight.

Can you see how the descriptive writing is much more powerful than the explanatory for the purpose of conveying an idea, an emotion to the reader? Obviously, explanatory (or expository) writing has its own place and purpose, as with all other genres of writing, but for poetry, which is much more an art, descriptive language is imperative. Try some for yourself below:

Descriptive writing

Explanatory writing

It was raining heavily in the late afternoon.

It was really difficult to have to wait so long for something so important.

The smell was disgusting; I couldnt stand it.

Your task: to compose your own sonnet, using the same rules that applied to Shakespeare.

Remember, Shakespearean sonnets are really only about love, but you can choose the type of love you wish to write about.

Brainstorm all the types of love you can think of:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Which one do you think youre most interested in writing about? _________________________________________

Make a note of some of the thoughts/images/phrases that come to mind when considering this type of love:

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Start to form these thoughts into sentences, using metaphors, personification and similes. Dont worry about iambic pentameter or rhyming words yet. Just get your thoughts onto paper first.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your task: to compose your own sonnet, using the same rules that applied to Shakespeare.

Remember, Shakespearean sonnets are really only about love, but you can choose the type of love you wish to write about.

Brainstorm all the types of love you can think of:

1. Parental & filial (from a son or daughter to a parent)

2. Between siblings or other familial love

3. Unrequited

4. reverence/adoration/worship

5. lustful

6. between husband and wife

7. long-distance

8. platonic

9. crush

10. narcissistic

Which one do you think youre most interested in writing about? _________________________________________

Make a note of some of the thoughts/images/phrases that come to mind when considering this type of love:

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Start to form these thoughts into sentences, using metaphors, personification and similes. Dont worry about iambic pentameter or rhyming words yet. Just get your thoughts onto paper first.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Writing Folio: Poetry (Sonnet) Writing Assessment Criteria Year 9

Standards

Low

Medium

Medium Plus

High

Very High

Exploration of ideas & themes

Demonstrates the ability to explore theme within a given form.

Demonstrates the ability to explore theme within an appropriate form. Exhibits some originality in exploration of idea.

Uses writing to explore some complexities of the theme within an appropriate form. A unique perspective is offered.

Uses writing to explore the complexities of the theme in an appropriate form. Originality and a unique perspective are offered.

Uses writing confidently to explore a wide range of complexities of theme in an appropriate form. Original and unique ideas are prevalent.

Planning

Thinking Processes: Creativity

A plan was sighted which demonstrates the ability to select, organise and develop key ideas.

Applies a writing frame appropriate to the task.

Writing shows evidence of clear planning to support the selection and organisation of ideas. Edits writing for clarity and coherence.

Displays creativity that expresses unique perspectives on theme.

Writing shows evidence of thorough planning to communicate original ideas about theme. Redrafts and edits for audience appropriateness.

Displays creativity in terms language choice and structure.

Writing shows evidence of appropriate planning and workshopping. Audience and purpose are accounted for. Creative thinking strategies have been applied in order to maximise content and form.

Writing shows evidence of thorough planning and workshopping, with a complete Statement of Intention that matches the creative content and style of the piece.

Sonnet structure

The writing is both creative and engaging on some levels and displays attempts to employ imagery, including metaphors and similes and other descriptive techniques within a specific structure.

Sonnet pays attention to the Shakespearean structure and effectively conveys exploring of theme using imagery and other language devices.

Sonnet displays structural development

Appropriate structure is sustained and is creatively employed. Imagery and other descriptive devices are used in an original way.

The structure of the sonnet allows for development of observations and ideas about theme, which are described in unique and vivid vocabulary. Imagery and other descriptive devices are creatively employed.

The sonnets structure is consistent and creative, allowing for thorough development of ideas and observations about theme. Imagery is used in an original manner, highlighting the theme.

Mechanics of language

Increasingly complex spelling and punctuation is edited effectively.

Spelling and punctuation is accurate vocabulary is appropriate to task.

Spelling and grammar are accurate throughout sonnet. Uses language techniques appropriate to form.

Spelling and grammar are accurate and enhance the fluency of the piece. Language techniques highlight the theme.

Spelling, grammar, punctuation and vocabulary all play a strong role in conveying observations about the theme in a unique way.

Expression

Demonstrates the ability to write confidently for selected purposes. Careful selection of vocabulary and increasingly complex use of figurative language is used to convey meaning appropriate to context, purpose and audience.

Demonstrates improvement in the accuracy and readability of their writing. Is developing confidence in the identification and use of grammatical conventions and features of language, including complex use of figurative language.

Demonstrates clear understanding of grammatical conventions including figurative language. Writing is increasingly accurate and engaging through appropriate vocabulary and sonnet structure.

Descriptive language has obviously been developed and worked on throughout the drafting of this piece. The chosen expression adds meaning to the overall theme.

Descriptive language allows a fresh perspective into the theme. Care has been taken to develop figurative language and imagery that underpins the flow of expression in the piece.

Statement of Intention [Example for Teacher Information]

Title: Forever

Author: Joan Smith

Genre: Poetry writing (sonnet)

Audience: the subject of the sonnet

Purpose: to explore the nature of unrequited love through experimenting with imagery

Outline: I chose to write this sonnet from the point of view of second-person so that it heightened the intimacy between myself and the subject of the sonnet. I have deliberately used the extended metaphor of springtime in order to convey the notion of new beginnings that exist in this type of love.