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Erowid Experience Vaults Report Id: 91439

The Awakening

by mk.ultra

Dose: T+ 0:00 3.5 lbs oral Cacti extract

Body weight: 185.00 lbs

Saturday, August 21st, 2010

6:30 I just got off work a half hour ago. I will begin the preparation within the next two hours.I am feeling excellent, and I could not be more excited to partake in this revered sacrament. I feelthat it may be difficult to convert the esoteric feelings a psychedelic substance imparts into words,but I will give it a valiant effort.

7:28 I just ran to Wal-Mart to buy a pot. The one I had was not nearly large enough for my

cactus brew. It was over $40, but thats alright, Ill just return it tomorrow. Wal-Mart is a filthyscumbag of a corporation anyways.

8:17 The 3.5 lb, 12 Peruvian Torch cutting has now been de-spined, diced, and blended withdistilled water. It is currently boiling. I empathetically thanked the cactus for the knowledge itmight bestow upon my mind before beginning the preparation. I have a very positive feeling abouttonight.

9:24 The boiling process continues. This is taking quite a long time, but that was to be expected.Patience is a virtue.

10:08 The hour of awakening draws near as the strange green brew boils on. I sense that truthis on the horizon.

10:21 The mixture has been strained and is cooling. Soon I will squeeze the remaining juice outof the pulp and begin sipping the divine medicine.

10:41 The first sips of the tea have been taken. The taste is quite tolerable, slightly bitter withan almost sweet aftertaste. A chaser is hardly necessary. I ended up with much more liquid todrink than anticipated, about 2 or 3 very large cupfuls. However, once it cools down it will not bedifficult to chug.

10:52 The first cup has been downed with ease. No changes in consciousness as of yet, but mybody is warm and comfortable. Heart rate is slightly increased, although it is very plausible thatit is being caused from sheer excitement.

11:13 The final cup and half have been finished off. The last few sips were increasingly disgusting,but I gulped them down with pleasure. Slight facial tension is noticed, now its merely a waitinggame. The Starcraft 2 replay Ive been watching is losing interest rapidly.

11:31 Ive been laying on my bed for a few minutes, breathing deeply and taking it all in. Theexperience isnt overpowering, in fact very subtle at this point. In combination with the calmingmusic (Llewellyn Sapphire Blue) I feel very much at peace. No daunting hallucinations or trouble

Exp Year: 2010 Added to Database: Oct 24, 2013

Gender of reportee: male

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Erowid Experience ID: 91439 The Awakening by mk.ultra

typing this whatsoever. This is a very different psychedelic. I am at home here. Im seeing mytapestry in new ways, but quite unlike the waving and undulating of mushrooms or DMT. I zoomin and out of focus, constantly discovering new, underlying patterns within it. The angle Iveplaced it at on the wall makes it appear completely three dimensional.

11:36 My jaws are somewhat tense, but Im easily refraining from grinding my teeth. A few

whiffs from my Neti-Stik reawaken me. I am infinitely comfortable in my body. Ive starteddrinking a Brain Toniq drink. Its taste wants to be an energy drink but is rudely denied. Stillno outstanding visuals, but the feelings of bliss tingling in my face and running down my spineare tantalizing enough. I wish I was outside right now. In fact, why cant I be? Arent my limitedfreedoms enough to grant me such power? Truly the only thing holding me back is the fear of beingstopped and questioned by a curious and nosy police officer. What are you doing out here? Whyare you walking funny? Why are smiling at me? would be the questions hed ask, with the furyof an unrelenting tsnunami. Im transcending reality in search of universal truth. I am becomingone with all of existence, sir. I would answer prophetically. But this would not satisfy his needs.He would proceed to cuff me and tell me that I am insane. Am I? What defines insane? Maybeit is he who is unconscious, walking through his life like a robot, allowing his pessimistic take onthe material world to consume his body and soul. Its a damn shame he never had a psychedelicexperience. . . a damn shame.

11:46 My body is somewhat tense but my mind is free and alive. This is really not what I hadexpected. Then again, I didnt know what to expect. Ive just finished off my Brain Toniq drink,although I dont feel particularly more enlightened by it. The feeling of the mescaline is swimminghappily through my body, a school of fish frolicking about, miles beneath the surface. Writing isflowing effortlessly and readily from mind to page. Very little editing is being done at this point.This is my own version of journalism, a broadcast of unending truth emanating from my soul. Lifeis a beautiful thing, never to be taken for granted. . . many things may sound clich[U+FFFD]ut thisis only because they are simple and powerful truths which resonate deep within us all. We are all

one, we are all connected, somehow, in some indeterminable way, we are interwoven in the fabricof consciousness. We are all a thread, a part of the whole, small and seemingly insignificant attimes, but together we are strong. Together we form the cloth that adorns the Gods. It is beyondmy grasp, it may be beyond anyones grasp, these underlying principles which bond the universetogether. But why grasp at nothing, why grasp at that which cannot be fathomed, cannot becomprehended by our limited senses and abilities. As a famous man once said, let it be.

11:58 The experience is expanding, climaxing it may seem. Inanimate objects take a life of theirown. Posters on my wall waving like the gentle tide coming in on some lonely, unseen beach.Fractals dance in the background of my computer screen, teasing me to explore the divine. AlexGreys artwork is above me, deep and sucking me in like a black hole. I wonder in astonishment

what kind of profound experiences gave birth to his artwork. Simply incredible. Words defy thepsychedelic experience. At this point words cannot begin to do it justice. Mescaline is the mostnatural feeling substance I have ever ingested. Warm and inviting, it beckons you in like thegrandmother you havent seen in ages. It guides you like an ancestral spirit. It doesnt feel nearlyas primal as mushrooms, not as ancient. But in its own respect it is much more gentle and calm.A pioneers map. Once the groundwork is laid, the plumbing and the electricity can be dealt with




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accordingly.

12:05 Still merely a human being sitting at a computer chair, but feeling more powerful andeternal than ever. I need to lay down. No. More revelations come. There is nothing scientificto be learned from the psychedelic experience. Nothing whatsoever. The knowledge to be gainedis from within, a greater appreciation for nature, for life, for Earth and all of its creatures. A

deep sense of peace that stems from within. A sense of peace that all should possess. Imagine thepower if it were bestowed upon the money hungry corporations and power mongering politicians.Imagine the potential for change then. Their self centered tendencies would dissolve like dust inthe wind. They might realize the intense suffering they are causing other nations, other people,other human beings. A deep sadness resides in my heart for them. Even for the people who causesuch suffering, for they are blind. This type of experience is exactly the remedy for such desolatecreatures. Reawakening the sense of connectedness with people, with nature, with everything, isan ineffably powerful undertaking. It cannot be understated. It is all that is necessary to awakenthese raging beasts who have lost all sense of compassion. It is the great catalyst for change.

12:20 I feel exceedingly redundant at this point. My valid points have been made, need they be

reinstated by some new, exciting rambling adventure that mazes us through the stars and takesus right back to the beginning? Right back to where we started. Square one. What the fuck, rightafter I typed that I was brought back to reality at frightening speed and precision by a thunderingnoise. A phone call from Keith. I answered it awkwardly of course, whaaaaaaaaats uppppppppduuuuuuuuuuude!?!?!?? but to my alarm, it was his mother, asking if I was with him. Whoops.

12:25 Wow, mescaline is perfect for writing. Words steamroll out of my brain like a freight trainwith turbo boosters on crack and acid. I could write an entire novel like this, just rambling onabout the universe and such. Would anybody buy it? Probably not, it would go down in historyas one of the most ridiculous works of the 21st century, or all of humanity for that matter. Whyam I even keeping time any more? Time is just an illusion, as is all of this, which I am beginningto believe. Dangerous to let thoughts stray like that though. In a material world our lives dependon being materially stable. Money drives our quest to survive. Where are we all going in thislife? What direction are we headed? What is our purpose? These age old questions hold greatsignificance. I have come to believe that in this day and age, our purpose in life must not be toachieve wealth and fame, or even to simply raise a family with a white picket fence and be happywith that. We must lead a consciousness revolution, one by one liberating the minds of the masses.Open their eyes to the blatant hate and destruction that we ourselves create. Stop walloping inour baths of self pity like retarded pigs and CHANGE. One by one, person by person, a realizationthat this world is charging rapidly, and headlong, into disaster. Like a dog chasing its tail, wehave become a violent and enraged dog that will willingly devour his own tail, and continue on torip apart his own intestines and innards, and eat them with such lust and passion like some sort

of sick fucking freak. Disturbing, really, to even think about. Not that image, the bigger pictureof whats going on here. Wrap your head around it. Climb inside, feel it out. So twisted of astory that only a mescaline ridden mind dares to write about it. No fear, no remorse, treadingeasily and readily where others dare not set foot. The anthills of the mind. These words are aroller coaster ride for me. Seemingly no direction, up, down, loop-dee-loop, where the fuck am I.Reducing myself to type passages about such trivial things as this, forcing myself to continue on




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while the feeling of defeat is all pervasive. But I cant stop thinking, my mind is unwinding itselfin a calculated and precise maneuver. This feeling is all too natural, it is all to welcoming, it is alltoo real. I cannot force myself to leave my chair, let alone the keyboard.

12:41 Why has the music been stopped for so long? Ah, the phone call, the sobering jilt backto reality. The soothing music melts right back into the experience. I become more conscious

of my breath, of my body. Harmonistic melodies envelope me. Why is Open Office Writersdictionary so blatantly attempting to tell me that words I am typing are not correct or real, whenin fact I look them up in the dictionary to be quite exactly the way I imagined them to be, suchas the word harmonistic. Apparently the intricacies of my own vocabulary trounce this piece ofshitty technology. The power of the human mind is unrivaled. Harpsichords and aural ambientsoundscapes mesh together in perfect unity. Everything is perfect on mescaline.

1:19 Countless worlds have been dissolved and instantly reassembled whilst I was laying onthe bed for that immeasurable period of time. Each inward breath a symbolic rebirth of myself.Each exhalation a deep sigh of relief, an exaltation of pain and suffering. Tearing down andreconstructing the framework of my own mind. Swimming in an ocean of consciousness amidst

the soft covers. Infinite levels of reality meld together to create this one. But while one it isall encompassing, a vibrant love that covers the entire Earth and shines radiantly from its core.Several small steps on the road to recovery. Great milestones have been made.

1:27 This is bar none the most clean, organic, and beautiful high Ive ever encountered. Every-thing else revels in comparison. The clarity achieved through this state is unparalleled. Completelyconscious of my actions, and every minute move I make holds infinite significance. As every humanshould realize. . . The power of our actions are tremendously frightening. With one fell swoop a flylays victim to our mighty hand, a nation crumbles over our incompetence. Millions of lives lostover a stupid chess game. The Earth mortally wounded from our recklessness, devastation left inthe wake. Vivid fractal imagery clouds my immediate vision, but a deep center is found withinmyself. My heart is resonating with 100% pure, unadulterated love.

1:39 The window is now open in longing of nature. Crickets chirp endlessly in the night. Willsleep ever be found on this perilous evening? Perhaps not, but it was a risk worth taking. I maytoss and turn restlessly in search of myself. But no matter what happens, the Earth will notabandon me. This experience is climaxing, no doubt. The tapestry on my wall is waving andchanging in incomprehensible patterns of complexity which are self-organizing. The visualizationsare quite vivid, unlike any Ive seen before. They should be startling and alarming, but are quitethe contrary. They seem like natural undulations of the Earth. The instability of which theuniverse is actually built on. The fluctuating infrastructure of the material world. I will notbe able to grasp these thoughts quite as profoundly tomorrow, on a clear and sober mind. Theyescape me. They defy words.

1:51 Where does the time go? It slips so easily away. Weathering the years of our lives, eventhe seconds are precious. This document is worthless. It cannot convey eons of suffering on theback of mankinds ignorance. Obscurity defies obscurity in search of itself. My mind is witheringand expanding simultaneously, right before my eyes. How can I watch it happen so easily? Theseridiculous ramblings must draw to a close eventually. Soon enough I will crawl beneath the security




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of my blankets, only to awake to another day of pure existence. Will any trace of this remain? Ican only hope so. I will live and breath it out for eternity.

Post Script: I went to bed soon after the last passage, and that was a mistake. I tossed andturned for hours, with a vision repeating itself incessantly in my head. It was of an alien/humanhybrid fetus, swirling into itself and constantly being reincarnated. This lasted for an indefinite

and possibly infinite period of time. What this means is for now a mystery to me. I awoke quitehungry and tired, but I slept like a baby for 12 hours the next night. Overall it was an invaluableexperience, one which I shall never forget.




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