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8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
1/61
1
00:00:07,166 --> 00:00:10,135
Mom, Dad, I found cigarettes
in Greg's jacet!
"
00:00:10,"36 --> 00:00:1",#66
- Greg, $ere %ou smoing cigarettes&
- o, Dad!
3
00:00:1",57" --> 00:00:1#,#7"
(e's )%ing! *+ere's no dout aout t+at!
#
00:00:1#,57# --> 00:00:17,#1
Greg, I'm afraid %our .unis+ment
$i)) e four +ours in t+e snae.it!
5
00:00:1/,0## --> 00:00:"0,"7#
*+at')) gie %ou time to t+in aout
$+at %ou did!
6
00:00:"0,37 --> 00:00:"1,573
Man
7
00:00:"","/1 --> 00:00:"3,"#/
*+at')) teac+ +im!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
2/61
/
00:00:"3,3# --> 00:00:"6,07
2an, I'm afraid %ou'e earned
a da% in t+e re c+amer!!!
00:00:"6,1/5 --> 00:00:"7,/#6
!!!for tatt)ing on %our rot+er!
10
00:00:","// --> 00:00:3",553
4moing! (o$ does
a o% )ie t+at go so $rong&
11
00:00:3",65/ --> 00:00:3#,/1
- *+e% )ie in a crumm% neig+or+ood!
- *+e rad%s&
1"
00:00:3#,"7 --> 00:00:3/,15/
ea+! *+e% got roers, t+ugs,
drug dea)ers! ou name it!
13
00:00:3/,"6# --> 00:00:3,731
ou fo)s $ant some .ancaes&
1#
00:00:3,/3" --> 00:00:#3,"6/
o, t+ans! 4ee, t+at's t+e $orst
$e got is 2emima's itnesses!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
3/61
15
00:00:##,003 --> 00:00:#6,5
8It seems toda% t+at a)) %ou see
16
00:00:#7,3#0 --> 00:00:50,571
8is io)ence in moies and se9 on *
17
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:5#,077
8ut $+ere are t+ose good,
o)d-fas+ioned a)ues
1/
00:00:5#,1/0 --> 00:00:56,7#0
8on $+ic+ $e used to re)%&
1
00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,#/5
8;uc% t+ere's a fami)% gu%
"0
00:01:00,5/6 --> 00:01:03,71#
8;uc% t+ere's a man $+o'))
.ositie)% te)) %ou
"1
00:01:03,/"3 --> 00:01:05,55"
8a)) t+e t+ings t+at mae us
""
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
4/61
00:01:05,65/ --> 00:01:07,1#/
8)aug+ 'n' cr%
"300:01:07,"60 --> 00:01:11,"#
8(e's a fami)% gu%8
"#
00:01:17,603 --> 00:01:"0,/3#
Mom, m% )i.s are too t+in!
00:01:"3,#0/
Meg, %ou don't need to c+ange
t+e $a% %ou )oo!
"6
00:01:"3,50 --> 00:01:"6,10
ou no$, most of t+e $or)d's .ro)ems
stem from .oor se)f-image!
"7
00:01:36,#"" --> 00:01:3,#1#
=9ce))ent *+e mind-contro) deice
is nearing com.)etion
"/
00:01:3,5"5 --> 00:01:#1,/"3
4te$ie, I said no to%s at t+e ta)e!
"
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
5/61
00:01:#1,"/ --> 00:01:#3,1""
Damn %ou, i)e $oman
3000:01:#3,"" --> 00:01:#6,56
ou'e im.eded m% $or since t+e da%
I esca.ed from %our $retc+ed $om!
31
00:01:#6,6 --> 00:01:#,75
Don't .out, +one%! +en %ou $ere orn!!!
3"
00:01:#,/6 --> 00:01:53,#30
!!!t+e doctor said %ou $ere
t+e +a..iest )ooing a% +e'd eer seen!
33
00:01:53,53 --> 00:01:57,635
ut, of course! *+at $as m% ictor% da%!
*+e fruition of m% dee.)%-)aid .)ans!!!
3#
00:01:57,7#3 --> 00:0":01,#1
!!!to esca.e from t+at cursed oarian
asti))e eturn t+e deice, $oman
35
00:0":0",0#/ --> 00:0":03,57"
o to%s, 4te$ie!
36
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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00:0":03,6/3 --> 00:0":0#,650
er% $e)), t+en!
3700:0":0#,750 --> 00:0":0/,6/6
Mar m% $ords, $+en %ou )east e9.ect it,
%our u..ance $i)) come
3/
00:0":10,756 --> 00:0":1",1"1
Mom, can I turn t+e +eat u.&
3
00:0":1",""# --> 00:0":15,"/#
Don't touc+ t+e t+ermostat, Meg!
our fat+er gets u.set!
#0
00:0":15,3# --> 00:0":17,3/5
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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##
00:0":"",501 --> 00:0":"#,#01
*e))s %ou $+en t+e ids mess $it+ t+e dia)!
#5
00:0":"#,503 --> 00:0":"6,#71
M% t+ing $ent o?
our t+ermostat oa%&
#6
00:0":"6,57" --> 00:0":"/,#7"
- ea+, it's a)) rig+t!
- Is m% id oer +ere&
#7
00:0":"/,57# --> 00:0":",63"
@orget it @a)se a)arm
#/
00:0":30,30 --> 00:0":31,70
Ass a+o%!
#
00:0":3",07/ --> 00:0":35,570
Beter, it's 7:00 and %ou'e sti)) got
%our .ants on! +at's t+e occasion&
50
00:0":35,6/1 --> 00:0":37,"3
(e's going to a stag .art%!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
8/61
51
00:0":37,350 --> 00:0":#0,01"
;ois, I $or +ard a)) $ee
to .roide for t+is fami)%!
5"
00:0":#0,11 --> 00:0":#1,3#7
I am t+e man of t+e +ouse!
53
00:0":#1,#5# --> 00:0":##,651
As t+e man, I order %ou
to gie me .ermission to go to t+is .art%!
5#
00:0":##,757 --> 00:0":#/,3/6
;oo, at )east .romise me %ou $on't drin!
A)co+o) a)$a%s )eads to trou)e!
55
00:0":#/,7# --> 00:0":50,5"3
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
9/61
5/
00:0":57,03 --> 00:03:00,"35
!!!$it+ festering oi)s a)) oer +is od%!
5
00:03:00,33 --> 00:03:0",500
Man, I +ate it $+en +e te))s t+is stor%!
60
00:03:0",6#1 --> 00:03:06,/05
et, miracu)ous)%,
2o $as sti)) a)e to retain +is dignit%!
61
00:03:06,1" --> 00:03:10,"#5
- Is t+at rea))% t+e )ood of 00:03:16,/#
And t+en t+ere $as t+at time
at t+e ice cream store!
6#
00:03:17,"/ --> 00:03:1,5/7
utter um's m% faorite!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
10/61
65
00:03:"1,6# --> 00:03:"#,"5
ememer %ou +ad an Iris+ co?ee
t+e da% $e $ent to see B+i)ade).+ia&
66
00:03:30,736 --> 00:03:3#,"7
I got it! *+at's t+e gu% from ig!
*om (ans, t+at's it!
67
00:03:3#,5#0 --> 00:03:37,#75
@unn% gu%, *om (ans!
=er%t+ing +e sa%s is a stitc+!
6/
00:03:37,576 --> 00:03:3/,/3/
I +ae AID4!
6
00:03:#0,67 --> 00:03:#",77
- Bromise me, Beter!
- ;ois, +one%, I .romise!
70
00:03:#3,0/" --> 00:03:#5,15
ot a dro. of a)co+o) is gonna touc+
t+ese )i.s tonig+t!
71
00:03:#6,01/ --> 00:03:#7,1/
+o $ants to .)a% Drin *+e eer&
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
11/61
7"
00:03:#/,0"0 --> 00:03:#,#1
ig+t +ere!
73
00:03:#,5"" --> 00:03:51,11#
- ou $in!
- A)) rig+t! +at do I $in&
7#
00:03:51,""3 --> 00:03:5","/1
Anot+er eer
75
00:03:5",31 --> 00:03:53,#
I'm going for t+e +ig+ score
76
00:03:5#,060 --> 00:03:56,"0
Actua))%, 00:0#:0",357
I fee) ind of ad, gu%s!
I .romised m% $ife I $ou)dn't drin!
7
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
12/61
00:0#:0",#6/ --> 00:0#:05,36
- Don't fee) ad, Beter!
- Gee! I neer t+oug+t of it )ie t+at!
/0
00:0#:05,60# --> 00:0#:06,/3"
Did %ou ring t+e .orno&
/1
00:0#:06,3 --> 00:0#:10,56/
Did I ring t+e .orno&
ou're gonna )oe it! It's a c)assic!
/"
00:0#:11,"10 --> 00:0#:13,110
;isten, I)sa! If I tae t+is t+ing out!!!
/3
00:0#:13,"1" --> 00:0#:16,"0#
!!!and %ou're not on it, %ou')) regret it!
ot toda% or tomorro$!
/#
00:0#:16,315 --> 00:0#:1/,"/3
ut soon, and for t+e rest of %our )ife!
/5
00:0#:1/,3/# --> 00:0#:"0,0#5
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
13/61
*+e statue $as a gift from @rance!
/7
00:0#:"5,6"# --> 00:0#:"6,7/#+at is t+is&
//
00:0#:"6,/" --> 00:0#:",60
Man! M% id must'e ta.ed
oer t+is for +istor% c)ass!
/
00:0#:30,63 --> 00:0#:33,#//
*+e 4tatue of ;iert%&
+at are $e gonna do&
0
00:0#:33,5 --> 00:0#:37,33
- o%s, $e're gonna drin ti)) s+e's +ot!
- *+at's just cra% enoug+ to $or!
1
00:0#:#3,6#" --> 00:0#:#5,"6
Meg, nis+ %our .ancaes!
"
00:0#:#5,377 --> 00:0#:#/,107
-
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
14/61
37 eers! ou're setting
a great e9am.)e for t+e ids, Beter!
#00:0#:5",0/# --> 00:0#:55,"1"
ea+! A ne$ fami)% record!
a% to raise t+e ar, Dad!
5
00:0#:55,3"1 --> 00:0#:57,31"
00:05:01,#1
!!!$ou)d tae +er c)ot+es o?!
/
00:05:01,5# --> 00:05:05,0/6
- +at did %ou .romise me )ast nig+t&
- I $ou)dn't drin at t+e stag .art%!
00:05:05,17 --> 00:05:0/,06#
- And $+at did %ou do&
- Dran at t+e stag!!!
100
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
15/61
00:05:0/,167 --> 00:05:11,""7
I a)most $a)ed rig+t into t+at one! God
10100:05:11,337 --> 00:05:1#,37
@ee)s )ie accountants
are craning adding mac+ines in m% +ead!
10"
00:05:1/,/7/ --> 00:05:"1,7#5
Dic, %ou eer $onder
$+at's outside t+ose $a))s&
103
00:05:"1,/#7 --> 00:05:"#,/16
*+at's dangerous t+ining, Bau)!
ou est stic to %our $or!
10#
00:05:"#,17 --> 00:05:"5,//#
Fa%!
105
00:05:"6,61 --> 00:05:30,6/0
ou see& A +angoer is nature's $a%
of te))ing %ou I $as rig+t! I mean!!!
106
00:05:30,7/ --> 00:05:3",65#
Mom, are %ou a)) rig+t&
107
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
16/61
00:05:3",75/ --> 00:05:36,#55
M% goodness!
*+is c+air )eg $as )oose! Isn't t+at si))%&
10/
00:05:36,56" --> 00:05:3/,553
I cou)d'e roen m% nec!
10
00:05:3/,731 --> 00:05:3,7/
Damn
110
00:05:#1,#00 --> 00:05:#3,/3#
(one%! I too a ca +ome,
I s)e.t on t+e ta)e!!!
111
00:05:#3,36 --> 00:05:#6,"3#
!!!so I $ou)dn't $ae %ou u.!
ot+ing ad +a..ened!
11"
00:05:#6,33/ --> 00:05:#/,16
I guess %ou're rig+t!
113
00:05:#/,"7# --> 00:05:50,36
A.o)og% acce.ted!
A)) rig+t, I'm going to $or!
11#
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
17/61
00:05:51,0#3 --> 00:05:5",/06
4omeod%'s gotta .ut food on t+is ta)e!
11500:05:56,#/" --> 00:05:57,/13
(o$ are %ou coming, 2o+nson&
116
00:05:57,17 --> 00:06:00,"#
Mr! eed, I'e een $oring
on t+e ne$ G!I! 2e$ )ine!
117
00:06:00,35" --> 00:06:0",513
And as %ou can see, t+e% )oo great!
11/
00:06:0",6"1 --> 00:06:03,6#5
ou ca)) t+ese age)s&
11
00:06:03,756 --> 00:06:06,05#
I'm g)ad +e's on our side
1"0
00:06:0/,#60 --> 00:06:0,55"
Beter
+at&
1"1
00:06:0,66" --> 00:06:10,/56
Are %ou s)ee.ing on t+e jo&
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
18/61
1""
00:06:10,63 --> 00:06:1#,1"6
o! *+ere's a ug in m% e%eand I'm tr%ing to su?ocate +im!
1"3
00:06:1#,"33 --> 00:06:1/,067
Beter, I )ie %ou! ut I need %ou to e
more t+an just e%e cand% around +ere!
1"#
00:06:1/,170 --> 00:06:"1,"/
It's %our jo to $atc+ for to%s
t+at cou)d e +aardous to ids!
1"5
00:06:"1,#07 --> 00:06:"3,637
- o$, )oo s+ar.
- es, sir
1"6
00:06:35,#/7 --> 00:06:#0,151
And no$ ac to Action e$s 5!
Fur to. stor% tonig+t, 8+en *o%s Attac!8
1"7
00:06:#0,"5 --> 00:06:#1,//6
uite a situation $e'e got +ere, *om!
1"/
00:06:#1,# --> 00:06:##,360
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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t+is com.an%'s re.utation!
136
00:07:07,#1 --> 00:07:0/,#0/ ou're red
137
00:07:0/,5"0 --> 00:07:0,71#
2ee! @or +o$ )ong&
13/
00:07:1","1 --> 00:07:13,7/1
M% God ou got red&
13
00:07:13,/" --> 00:07:17,5"1
- a% to go, Dad @ig+t t+e mac+ine
- (o$ do %ou no$ aout t+e mac+ine&
1#0
00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:"0,360
Don't $orr%!
I')) sti)) .ut food on t+is ta)e!
1#1
00:07:"0,#66 --> 00:07:"3,0"6
2ust not as muc+!
4o it mig+t get a )itt)e com.etitie!
1#"
00:07:"3,135 --> 00:07:"7,663
+o cares aout food& o$ $e')) neer
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
21/61
e a)e to a?ord m% )i. injections
1#3
00:07:"7,/06 --> 00:07:30,17" 00:07:35,077
2ee! (o$ t+e +e))
am I gonna rea t+is to ;ois&
1#6
00:07:35,1/0 --> 00:07:3/,707
If s+e nds out I got red for drining,
s+e's gonna )ame me
1#7
00:07:3/,/17 --> 00:07:#","75
;ie to +er! It's oa% to )ie
to $omen! *+e%'re not .eo.)e )ie us!
1#/
00:07:#",3// --> 00:07:##,/7
I don't no$! (e%, $+ere's t+e ot+er gu%&
1#
00:07:#6,1"5 --> 00:07:#/,753
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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00:07:55,"/
+en s+e $orries, s+e sa%s,
8I to)d %ou so8 and:
153
00:07:55,#01 --> 00:07:5,303
84to. doing t+at! I'm as)ee.!8
4o I'm just gonna te)) a )itt)e )ie, oa%&
15#
00:07:5,#05 --> 00:0/:01,737
ot a $ord to %our mom
aout me getting canned!
155
00:0/:01,/#0 --> 00:0/:03,"3
+at's t+at, Beter&
156
00:0/:03,3#" --> 00:0/:06,33#
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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- ot+ing! *+e )ost-m%-jo sme))s great!
- +at&
15700:0/:06,##5 --> 00:0/:0,#37
Meg, +one%, can %ou .ass
t+e red-m%-ass-for-neg)igence&
15/
00:0/:0,5#/ --> 00:0/:11,"0
Beter, are %ou fee)ing oa%&
15
00:0/:11,317 --> 00:0/:13,7
I fee) great
I +aen't got a jo in t+e $or)d!
160
00:0/:1#,0/6 --> 00:0/:15,713
A)) rig+t, t+en )et's eat!
161
00:0/:15,/"1 --> 00:0/:1/,517
I no$ %ou a)) +ate egg.)ant, ut!!!
16"
00:0/:1,65/ --> 00:0/:"1,5"3
+at on eart+ $as t+at&
163
00:0/:"3,6 --> 00:0/:"6,6"
+at t+e deuce are %ou staring at&
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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It's tuna s+!!!
16#
00:0/:"7,0 --> 00:0/:"/,11!!!and not+ing e)se!
165
00:0/:3",63/ --> 00:0/:3#,071
(o$'s %our jo searc+ going&
166
00:0/:3#,173 --> 00:0/:37,#3/
It sucs, rian! I'e a)read%
een t+roug+ t$o jos t+is $ee!
167
00:0/:37,5#3 --> 00:0/:3,067
I got red o? of t+at commercia)!
16/
00:0/:3,17/ --> 00:0/:#1,/#0
*r% it again!
8I'm caca for 00:0/:#3,676
o, damn it *ae "6
170
00:0/:##,1# --> 00:0/:#7,550
*+en I +ad t+at jo as t+e sneee guard
for t+at restaurant's sa)ad ar!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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171
00:0/:50,""" --> 00:0/:51,3/"
*ae it outside, )ad%!
17"
00:0/:51,7"# --> 00:0/:53,/17
I t+oug+t I cou)d $in mone%
in t+at ta)ent s+o$!
173
00:0/:5#,13 --> 00:0/:57,6"
And t+e .rie goes
to *+e on *ra.. @ami)% 4ingers
17#
00:0/:57,30 --> 00:0/:5,0""
*+at is u))!!!
175
00:0:01,500 --> 00:0:03,365
Beter, I no$ it's a dangerous .recedent!!!
176
00:0:03,#6 --> 00:0:05,6
!!!ut %ou mig+t $ant to te)) ;ois t+e trut+!
177
00:0:05,/0# --> 00:0:0/,3"
+at& *+at I can't .roide for m% fami)%&
*+at s+e's a)$a%s rig+t&
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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17/
00:0:0,0#1 --> 00:0:11,#75
*+at I didn't stand u. to a tan
in *iananmen 4Huare&
17
00:0:16,0#/ --> 00:0:1/,#
4cre$ t+is
I just came oer to u% some re$ors
1/0
00:0:1,#/5 --> 00:0:"1,7/3
ou can't ee. )%ing to +er
aout )osing %our jo!
1/1
00:0:"1,//7 --> 00:0:"#,515
=entua))%, s+e')) nd out
$+ere %ou're going eer% da%!
1/"
00:0:"#,6"3 --> 00:0:"5,555
ea+!
1/3
00:0:"/,7# --> 00:0:31,35#
ea+, %ou're rig+t!
Fa%, I')) te)) +er tonig+t!
1/#
00:0:#/,1#7 --> 00:0:#,637
ictor% is mine
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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1/5
00:0:50,0#/ --> 00:0:51,/"
I')) need t+e c+ecooin t+e morning!
1/6
00:0:5",0/# --> 00:0:5#,10
I'm going to 4to. ' 4+o.
for some s$eet corn!
1/7
00:0:5#,"1 --> 00:0:55,//0
ou're s.ending mone% on food again&
1//
00:0:55,// --> 00:0:57,615
;ois, $e just +ad dinner!
1/
00:0:57,7"3 --> 00:10:01,/53
I enjo%ed it so muc+,
I t+oug+t $e'd eat again tomorro$!
10
00:10:01,60 --> 00:10:0#,55#
4ince $+en are %ou so concerned
aout our food udget&
11
00:10:0#,663 --> 00:10:05,/57
I just!!!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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1"
00:10:05,6# --> 00:10:0,1"7
;ois, t+is is rea))% +ard for me to sa%, ut!!!
13
00:10:0,"3# --> 00:10:11,031
+at is it, Beter&
1#
00:10:1",171 --> 00:10:1#,"/
- ou're getting ind of fat!
- +at&
15
00:10:1#,#06 --> 00:10:16,670
It's just!!! It's not +ea)t+%!
16
00:10:16,775 --> 00:10:"0,07#
Beter, I do m% 2ane @onda $orout ta.e
t+ree times a $ee!
17
00:10:"0,17 --> 00:10:"",0##
+en $as t+e )ast time %ou sa$ %our toes&
1/
00:10:"",1#7 --> 00:10:"#,63/
I t+oug+t %ou .eo.)e $ere
su..osed to e jo))%!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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1
00:10:"#,750 --> 00:10:"7,0#/
Beter, $+at t+e +e)) is t+e matter $it+ %ou&
"00
00:10:"7,15" --> 00:10:30,"#6
(one%, if t+ere's somet+ing $rong,
%ou can te)) me!
"01
00:10:30,3/ --> 00:10:3#,"57
- 4orr%, man! Am I )ate& +at did I miss&
- *+an God %ou're +ere! +at do I do&
"0"
00:10:3#,35 --> 00:10:36,5/
*e)) +im to ee. Huiet! (e's in too dee.!
"03
00:10:36,65 --> 00:10:3/,"/7
I don't no$!
"0#
00:10:3/,630 --> 00:10:3,756
+ere's t+e ot+er gu%&
"05
00:10:#1,066 --> 00:10:#",50
*+is is une)iea)e
"06
00:10:#3,635 --> 00:10:#6,00
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I .romise %ou, eer%t+ing's ne!
ou got not+ing to $orr% aout!
"0700:10:#7,005 --> 00:10:50,16/
e)), $e)), Mot+er
e meet again
"0/
00:10:50,"75 --> 00:10:5",/00
4te$ie, I t+oug+t
I tuced %ou in an +our ago!
"0
00:10:5",11 --> 00:10:56,03
ot tig+t)% enoug+ it $ou)d seem!
And no$ %ou contem.ti)e +ar.%!!!
"10
00:10:56,1#/ --> 00:10:5/,616
!!!I s+a)) end %our reign
of matriarc+a) t%rann%!
"11
00:10:5/,717 --> 00:11:00,651
ou can .)a% tomorro$, +one%!
"1"
00:11:00,75" --> 00:11:0","#"
ig+t no$ it's edtime!
"13
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
31/61
00:11:0","1 --> 00:11:05,3"1
)ast %ou and %our estrogenica) treac+er%
"1#00:11:05,#"# --> 00:11:06,7"1
4$eet dreams, iddo!
"15
00:11:06,/"5 --> 00:11:0/,10
ou +ae t+e .o$er to end t+is
"16
00:11:11,"6 --> 00:11:1",661
(o$'d s+e tae it&
"17
00:11:1",76# --> 00:11:1#,6"
I to)d +er s+e $as fat!
"1/
00:11:1#,733 --> 00:11:15,5
o!
"1
00:11:16,70" --> 00:11:1/,#
I +ate )%ing to ;ois! It's just!!!
""0
00:11:1/,60# --> 00:11:"0,67
It's t+e est $a%
to ee. +er from t+e trut+!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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""1
00:11:"0,/06 --> 00:11:"3,"7#
ou +ae no c+oice!
our unem.)o%ment $i)) dr% u. soon!
"""
00:11:"3,375 --> 00:11:"6,/11
4+e')) .roa)% sense somet+ing's amiss
$+en t+e% re.ossess %our +ouse!
""3
00:11:"6,1" --> 00:11:",1#"
ou rea))% oug+ta t+in
of %our fami)%'s $e)fare!
""#
00:11:","#/ --> 00:11:30,715
2ee, rian *+at's a great idea
""5
00:11:3",1/ --> 00:11:37,116
Fa%, do %ou +ae an% disai)ities,
.ast injuries, .+%sica) anoma)ies&
""6
00:11:37,/0 --> 00:11:#0,51/
I didn't +ae gas
for t+e rst time unti) I $as 30!
""7
00:11:#5,030 --> 00:11:#6,/5
+at t+e +e)) $as t+at&
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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""/
00:11:#/,#67 --> 00:11:51,/00
Gu%s, our mone% .ro)emsare oer e're ocia))% on $e)fare!
""
00:11:51,0# --> 00:11:5#,33/
00:11:57,71
;et's see! J150 a $ee!
"3"
00:11:5/,#77 --> 00:1":00,"06
ait! *+at's a comma, not a decima)!
"33
00:1":0",3#7 --> 00:1":03,336
+oo.s!
"3#
00:1":03,715 --> 00:1":05,7
o, I +aen't seen Beter a)) afternoon!
"35
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34/61
00:1":06,0/# --> 00:1":07,676
I $as giing a .iano )esson!
"3600:1":0/,5"0 --> 00:1":10,750
4te$ie, $+% don't %ou .)a%
in t+e ot+er room&
"37
00:1":10,/56 --> 00:1":1",1/7
+% don't %ou urn in +e))&
"3/
00:1":1",1 --> 00:1":1#,65"
o dessert for %ou, %oung man!
"3
00:1":15,""7 --> 00:1":17,65
+o $ou)d'e t+oug+t getting drun
$ou)d get me!!!
"#0
00:1":17,76 --> 00:1":"0,663
!!!J150,000 a $ee from t+e goernment&
"#1
00:1":"0,7 --> 00:1":"",061
*+is is $+% I don't ote!
"#"
00:1":"",167 --> 00:1":"#,#31
Ma%e someod% do$n t+ere
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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$as drining, too!
"#3
00:1":"#,/70 --> 00:1":"7,6#Mr! Bresident, $+% do %ou t+in
t+e .u)ic su..orts %ou!!!
"##
00:1":"/,073 --> 00:1":",76/
!!!during t+ese im.eac+ment .roceedings&
"#5
00:1":",/75 --> 00:1":31,3#"
Broa)% ecause %ou're so fat!
"#6
00:1":33,"7/ --> 00:1":35,075
Beter, %ou mig+t $ant to ca))
t+e e)fare 00:1":37,0/0
*+at c+ec is oious)% an oersig+t!
"#/
00:1":37,1/" --> 00:1":#0,70
ot necessari)%! Ma%e I'm )ie
t+eir one mi))iont+ customer!
"#
00:1":#0,/1 --> 00:1":#",/7/
+at&
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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ou're gonna s.end J150,000 a $ee&
"50
00:1":#",// --> 00:1":#5,0#7- ea+!
- Fn $+at&
"51
00:1":#5,6"# --> 00:1":#,"#
F+, m% God
Beter, %ou oug+t t+e statue of Daid&
"5"
00:1":50,0"/ --> 00:1":5",51
o! I just rented it!
ut t+e%'re gonna e ticed!
"53
00:1":5",631 --> 00:1":55,"5
*+e .enis roe o?
$+i)e I $as )oading it into t+e car!
"5#
00:1":5/,337 --> 00:13:00,13#
I s+a)) ca)) %ou 8=duardo!8
"55
00:13:00,#3 --> 00:13:0",13#
Beter, +o$ can $e a?ord t+is&
"56
00:13:0","#0 --> 00:13:0#,"0/
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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ou $on't e)iee it, Mom Dad's getting!!!
"57
00:13:0#,30 --> 00:13:05,#01A ig raise
"5/
00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:07,171
Beter, t+at's $onderfu)
"5
00:13:07,"7 --> 00:13:0/,"6/
ut, Dad, I t+oug+t!!!
"60
00:13:0/,3/0 --> 00:13:11,611
*+e ind of raise t+at')) a))o$ me
to gie m% ids a ig a))o$ance!!!
"61
00:13:11,717 --> 00:13:1#,"#"
!!!just for ee.ing t+eir ig mout+s s+ut!
00:13:16,7/7
I')) u% us
t+e most e9.ensie mea) $e'e eer +ad!
"63
00:13:17,// --> 00:13:"0,15
ea+!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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I'd )ie 6,000 c+icen fa-ji-tas, .)ease!
"6#
00:13:"1,0"6 --> 00:13:"1,3I eg %our .ardon&
"65
00:13:"",0# --> 00:13:"#,0/5
6,000 c+icen fa-ji-tas!
"66
00:13:"#,16 --> 00:13:"5,3
And a 84o-sage8 Mciscuit, .)ease!
"67
00:13:"7,/ --> 00:13:",66
Beter, $+at's t+e ig sur.rise&
"6/
00:13:",/01 --> 00:13:3",770
ou no$ +o$ I a)$a%s said
%ou s+ou)d e treated )ie a Hueen&
"6
00:13:3",/71 --> 00:13:3#,771
I got %ou %our o$n jester!
"70
00:13:35,#1 --> 00:13:37,670
Good to e +ere in e$ =ng)and!
"71
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
39/61
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:3,/35
And $+at's t+e dea)
$it+ 8e$8 =ng)and an%$a%&
"7"
00:13:3,#5 --> 00:13:##,"#5
It's oer "00 %ears o)d
;ast time I c+eced, t+at's not t+at ne$!
"73
00:13:#/,//7 --> 00:13:#,/5#
*+is is great!
"7#
00:13:#,55 --> 00:13:53,5/#
I can na))% a?ord to gie m% )itt)e gir)
t+e )i.s s+e's a)$a%s dreamed of!
"75
00:13:53,6" --> 00:13:55,#"1
*+an %ou, Dadd%
"76
00:13:56,/5 --> 00:13:5/,65/
I don't no$, Beter! ;i.s are one t+ing!
"77
00:13:5/,76# --> 00:1#:01,5"/
ut did %ou +ae to u%
reast im.)ants for
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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00:1#:01,633 --> 00:1#:0",75
It maes +im +a..%!
"700:1#:0",/6/ --> 00:1#:0#,57
*+ese are coo)!
"/0
00:1#:0/,"06 --> 00:1#:0,66
+en did %ou get a .oo)&
"/1
00:1#:0,/0/ --> 00:1#:11,"07
It's a moat!
"/"
00:1#:11,30 --> 00:1#:1","/
I no$ it's si))%!!!
"/3
00:1#:1",#11 --> 00:1#:15,/#7
!!!ut m% +usand t+ins our fami)%
needs e9tra .rotection no$ t+at!!!
"/#
00:1#:15,#7 --> 00:1#:17,31"
!!!$e're ric+!
"/5
00:1#:17,#16 --> 00:1#:1/,##0
Does it $or&
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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"/6
00:1#:1/,550 --> 00:1#:"1,1##
It does ee. t+e )ac Enig+t at a%!
"/7
00:1#:"5,30 --> 00:1#:",156
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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00:1#:#6,/1" --> 00:1#:50,76
ea+, from t+e American ta9.a%ers!
I am so mad I can't see straig+t!
"#
00:1#:51,0/3 --> 00:1#:53,07#
o .ro)em!
e got mone% to get t+at 9ed!!!
"5
00:1#:53,1/5 --> 00:1#:57,5//
!!!$it+ enoug+ )eft for us to u% our $a%
out of an% trou)e our ids mig+t get into!
"6
00:1#:57,6/ --> 00:1#:5/,/15
2ust )ie t+e Eenned%s!
"7
00:1#:5/,"# --> 00:15:01,51/
I fee) )ie I don't
een no$ %ou an%more, Beter!
"/
00:15:01,6"6 --> 00:15:0#,#5
*+e man I married $ou)d neer t+in
+e cou)d 9 a .ro)em!!!
"
00:15:0#,563 --> 00:15:06,0/7
!!!just % s.ending mone%
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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300
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:0/,"3
o%, s+e's .rett% .issed!
301
00:15:0,03# --> 00:15:11,366
+o t+oug+t fraud
$ou)d e one of +er uttons&
30"
00:15:11,#70 --> 00:15:1#,/03
+% +ae a jueo9
in t+e jo+n if %our $ife's mad at %ou&
303
00:15:1#,06 --> 00:15:17,670
Beter, %ou ma% +ae to return
t+at mone% to t+e ta9.a%ers!
30#
00:15:17,776 --> 00:15:1,71
ut I gotta mae sure
;ois no$s I'm doing it!
305
00:15:"0,07/ --> 00:15:"1,0
I need an eent $it+ t+ousands of .eo.)e!
306
00:15:"",013 --> 00:15:"#,03/
4omet+ing t+at eer%od% cares aout!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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307
00:15:"5,#/# --> 00:15:"7,#1/
e mig+t +ae to )eae
+ode Is)and for t+is!
30/
00:15:"7,/6 --> 00:15:31,///
*+e air is e)ectric +ere
at 4u.er o$) KKKIII tonig+t
30
00:15:31,0 --> 00:15:3#,"5
Bat, it's safe to sa% t+at a))
t+ese fans came out +ere!!!
310
00:15:35,0"6 --> 00:15:37,017
!!!to $atc+ a game of foota))
311
00:15:37,1" --> 00:15:3,1"0
2o+n, $e're in commercia)!
31"
00:15:3,"31 --> 00:15:#","/
ea+, I no$!
I'm just maing conersation!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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31#
00:15:#7,506 --> 00:15:51,101
Amaing! ou can are)% drie a car!
et %ou $ere a))o$ed to C% a )im.&
315
00:15:51,"0 --> 00:15:53,/71
ea+, America's great, isn't it&
=9ce.t for t+e 4out+!
316
00:15:53,7 --> 00:15:55,7#"
o%, I +o.e ;ois is $atc+ing!
317
00:15:55,/#7 --> 00:15:5/,00/
Fa%, ta9.a%ers, +ere %ou go
31/
00:15:5,/51 --> 00:16:0",513
;oos )ie $e're getting some rain
+ere tonig+t, 2o+n!
31
00:16:0",6"1 --> 00:16:06,07
ea+! (e%, $ait a second
*+is is no ordinar% rain
3"0
00:16:06,31 --> 00:16:0/,#/#
It's some ind of cra% mone% rain
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
46/61
3"1
00:16:0/,53 --> 00:16:11,#
I'm eing to)d it's a man and +is dog
t+ro$ing cas+ out of a )im.!
3""
00:16:1",07 --> 00:16:15,/63
Man! I +o.e t+is $ors! Ft+er$ise,
I'm gonna +ae to start dro..ing t+ese!
3"3
00:16:"0,77" --> 00:16:"3,00
*+e cro$d is storming t+e e)d
*+is is .andemonium
3"#
00:16:"#,00 --> 00:16:"6,603
(ae %ou eer seen an%t+ing )ie t+is, Bat&
3"5
00:16:"7,7#6 --> 00:16:31,/07
2ust once! *+e 175
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
47/61
a .erfect)% good game of foota))
3"/
00:16:#0,6" --> 00:16:#",56- Madden to @o9 4ecurit%!
- Go a+ead!
3"
00:16:#3,061 --> 00:16:##,/5/
*ae t+em do$n
es, sir!
330
00:16:5#,03 --> 00:16:55,131
(o$ $as %our s+o$er&
331
00:16:55,"#0 --> 00:16:5/,1#1
I te)) %ou, a)) of t+e rumors
aout dro..ing t+e soa. are true!
33"
00:16:5/,"#3 --> 00:16:5,"3"
ea))%&
333
00:16:5,3## --> 00:17:01,53
ou can't +o)d onto t+at t+ing
to sae %our )ife!
33#
00:17:01,6#6 --> 00:17:03,10
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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It $as s)i..ing eer%$+ere!
Gu%s $ere )aug+ing!
33500:17:0#,015 --> 00:17:06,176
*+ere's t+e gu%
t+at cou)dn't +o)d t+e soa.!
336
00:17:06,"/# --> 00:17:07,11
*+at $as c)assic!
337
00:17:0/,553 --> 00:17:10,1
o%! I rea))% )et ;ois do$n t+is time!
33/
00:17:11,0"" --> 00:17:1",31
Do %ou t+in s+e')) $ait for me&
33
00:17:1",#"# --> 00:17:13,/"
If eer% $oman dum.ed +er +usand!!!
3#0
00:17:1#,0" --> 00:17:16,7//
!!!for cras+ing a )im.,
no one $ou)d e married!
3#1
00:17:16,/5 --> 00:17:1,"5
ea+, %ou're rig+t!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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Fa%, I got t+e to. un!
3#"
00:17:"","67 --> 00:17:"#,7"M% co))agen is $earing o?!
3#3
00:17:"#,03 --> 00:17:"7,303
(one%, sagging )i.s are just nature's $a%!!!
3##
00:17:"7,#05 --> 00:17:30,37
!!!of te))ing %ou %ou s+ou)dn't
coer for %our fat+er's )ie!
3#5
00:17:30,50/ --> 00:17:33,705
+at does it mean $+en %our arm.its
cr% stin% tears&
3#6
00:17:33,/1" --> 00:17:35,/71
It means %ou're ecoming a man!
3#7
00:17:35,/1 --> 00:17:3,71"
ut +o.efu))% not t+e ind $+o sta%s out
a)) da% and doesn't ca))!!!
3#/
00:17:3,/1/ --> 00:17:#",3#3
!!!)ie %our fat+er
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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$+o s+a)) remain name)ess!
3#
00:17:#",#5# --> 00:17:#5,"/7(e))o, Mot+er!
(i t+ere, s$eetie!
350
00:17:#5,30 --> 00:17:#7,50
ou no$, Mot+er,
)ife is )ie a o9 of c+oco)ates!
351
00:17:#/,05 --> 00:17:50,3"3
ou neer no$ $+at %ou're going to get!
35"
00:17:50,#"/ --> 00:17:53,00
our )ife, +o$eer,
is more )ie a o9 of actie grenades
353
00:17:5#,6 --> 00:17:57,66/
o$, I o?er one )ast c+ance
for de)ierance!
35#
00:17:57,76 --> 00:1/:00,/"
eturn m% mind-contro) deice
or e destro%ed!
355
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
51/61
00:1/:01,6#0 --> 00:1/:0#,#0#
ou just $ant %our to% ac!
35600:1/:0#,50 --> 00:1/:06,"0#
Fa%, +ere %ou go, +one%!
357
00:1/:07,07/ --> 00:1/:0,"73
es!!! e)), ictor% is mine
35/
00:1/:13,#1/ --> 00:1/:1#,61"
Damn %ou a))
35
00:1/:16,3"1 --> 00:1/:17,##7
(e))o&
360
00:1/:1/,"56 --> 00:1/:1,6"1
F+, m% God
361
00:1/:"5,16 --> 00:1/:"7,06
;ois, am I g)ad to see %ou!
36"
00:1/:"7,1/ --> 00:1/:",063
I +ae not+ing to sa% to %ou, Beter!
363
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
52/61
00:1/:",167 --> 00:1/:31,"#
I gae t+e mone% ac!
+% are %ou sti)) steamed&
36#
00:1/:31,#03 --> 00:1/:3#,/0#
Beter, %ou )ied to me,
%ou etra%ed m% trust!
365
00:1/:3#,06 --> 00:1/:37,"0#
00:1/:#3,10/
*+is court $i)) come to order!
36/
00:1/:#3,15 --> 00:1/:#6,3/3
I gured t+e sooner I cas+ed t+e c+ec!!!
36
00:1/:#6,#/# --> 00:1/:#,"#/
!!!t+e sooner t+e%'d catc+ t+eir mistae!
370
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
53/61
00:1/:#,6"1 --> 00:1/:51,5"1
+% are $e maing a federa) case
out of t+is&
371
00:1/:51,6"3 --> 00:1/:5#,1#/
Don't %ou t+in %ou s+ou)d
+ae a)erted t+e goernment!!!
37"
00:1/:5#,"5 --> 00:1/:55,556
!!!of suc+ a gross oer.a%ment&
373
00:1/:55,660 --> 00:1/:5/,"5
I $as gonna ca)) t+em!
ut m% faorite e.isode!!!
37#
00:1/:5,030 --> 00:1:0",056
!!!of Di?erent 4troes $as on!
*+e one $+ere Arno)d and Dud)e%!!!
375
00:1:0",167 --> 00:1:0#,#
!!!get se9ua))% mo)ested
% t+e ie s+o. o$ner&
376
00:1:0#,70 --> 00:1:07,/03
A)) rig+t! o$ I $ant %ou o%s
to scream rea) )oud at m% ass!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
54/61
377
00:1:0/,173 --> 00:1:10,607
And eer%od% )earns a a)ua)e )esson!
37/
00:1:10,70 --> 00:1:1",#0#
Mr! Grin, +ae %ou )earned a )esson&
37
00:1:1",510 --> 00:1:15,035
es! 4ta% t+e +e)) a$a%
from t+at ie s+o.!
3/0
00:1:17,1/" --> 00:1:"0,7#3
Fa%, eer%od%, I fee) rea))% ad
aout $+at I did! I just!!!
3/1
00:1:"0,/5" --> 00:1:"",376
I don't no$! I sa$ t+e one c+ance!!!
3/"
00:1:"",#/7 --> 00:1:"5,6/#
!!!)'d eer +ae to gie m% fami)%
t+e t+ings t+e% desere!
3/3
00:1:"5,70 --> 00:1:"/,0"0
I guess I scre$ed it u.!
I c+eated t+e goernment!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
55/61
3/#
00:1:"/,1"6 --> 00:1:30,617
And $orst of a)), I )ied to m% $ife!
3/5
00:1:31,0" --> 00:1:3",656
And s+e deseres etter!
3/6
00:1:3",76# --> 00:1:3#,17
I'm sorr%, +one%!
3/7
00:1:3#," --> 00:1:37,"3#
Mr! Grin, I t+in %our $ords
+ae touc+ed us a))!
3//
00:1:37,335 --> 00:1:3,#6"
I'm sentencing %ou to "# mont+s in .rison!
3/
00:1:3,/0# --> 00:1:#0,73
o
30
00:1:#0,05 --> 00:1:#1,63
- o
- o
31
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
56/61
00:1:#",073 --> 00:1:#",71
o
3"00:1:#3,07# --> 00:1:##,0#1
ea+
33
00:1:50,715 --> 00:1:5",10
=9cuse me, our (onor&
es&
3#
00:1:53,01/ --> 00:1:56,351
;oo, m% +usand ma% e
a it t+oug+t)ess at times!
35
00:1:56,#5# --> 00:1:5,#6
(e ma% een e do$nrig+t stu.id!
36
00:"0:00,05/ --> 00:"0:0",30
ut I no$ +e on)% acce.ted t+at mone%!!!
37
00:"0:0",## --> 00:"0:05,35
!!!ecause +e $anted to e
a good +usand and fat+er!
3/
00:"0:05,30 --> 00:"0:0/,55/
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ut $+at +e needs to rememer
is t+at $e )oe +im!
300:"0:0/,666 --> 00:"0:11,567
And no matter $+at,
I')) a)$a%s stand % +im!
#00
00:"0:11,66 --> 00:"0:13,500
I )oe %ou too, +one%!
#01
00:"0:13,671 --> 00:"0:17,573
*+at $as er% moing, Mrs! Grin!
Fa%, %ou can go to jai) $it+ +im
#0"
00:"0:17,675 --> 00:"0:1/,6#"
+at&
#03
00:"0:1/,7#3 --> 00:"0:"",770
"# mont+s in .rison& Lnacce.ta)e
Into)era)e as it ma% e!!!
#0#
00:"0:"",//1 --> 00:"0:"6,1/0
!!!)'m com.)ete)% de.endent u.on
t+ose $retc+ed drones for sustenance!
#05
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00:"0:"6,"/# --> 00:"0:",3##
;et us see +o$ t+e constitution
of American justice fares!!!
#06
00:"0:",#5# --> 00:"0:31,"/5
!!!against t+e deice
#07
00:"0:#1,03" --> 00:"0:#","#
Is t+at %our o%&
#0/
00:"0:#",#00 --> 00:"0:##,"31
+at& ea+! *+at's 4te$ie!
#0
00:"0:##,335 --> 00:"0:#,170
Gos+! I can't se.arate a id t+at %oung
from +is fat+er! It's unjudgmen)%!
#10
00:"0:#,"7# --> 00:"0:51,#01
- (e)), %ou'e )earned %our )esson, rig+t&
- ea+!
#11
00:"0:51,50 --> 00:"0:5#,56
- A)) rig+t! ou're free!
- o$
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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00:"0:5#,67 --> 00:"0:55,66/
o!
#1300:"0:56,31# --> 00:"0:5/,077
- es!
- A)) rig+t
#1#
00:"1:0",5"0 --> 00:"1:0#,07/
*+at $as a cra% one, Dic!
#15
00:"1:0#,1/ --> 00:"1:07,35"
It sure $as! In t+is ne9t )oo.er
from 2oanie ;oes 00:"1:13,#6"
+at does %our mom do&
#1
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00:"1:13,565 --> 00:"1:15,055
4+e se))s seas+e))s do$n % t+e!!!
#"000:"1:17,035 --> 00:"1:1/,55
*+at is ind of a tongue t$ister!
#"1
00:"1:1/,670 --> 00:"1:"0,7"
It's good to +ae %ou +ome, Beter!
#""
00:"1:"0,/3 --> 00:"1:"3,137
(one%, I ne$ eer%t+ing
$ou)d turn out oa%!
#"3
00:"1:"3,"#1 --> 00:"1:"#,67#
I sure am gonna miss eing ric+!
#"#
00:"1:"#,776 --> 00:"1:"6,7##
Don't $orr%!
I got a $a% to get mone%!
#"5
00:"1:"6,/#5 --> 00:"1:"/,36
ot anot+er $e)fare scam&
#"6
00:"1:"/,#/0 --> 00:"1:30,6#1
o! Minorit% sc+o)ars+i.!
8/15/2019 Family Guy - 1x01
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#"7
00:"1:37,7/ --> 00:"1:#0,01
o!Are %ou insane&
#"/
00:"1:#0,1"5 --> 00:"1:#",//
Fa%, I mean se9ua) +arassment suit!
#"
00:"1:##,06" --> 00:"1:#5,3"#
o!
Don't t+in so!
#30
00:"1:#5,#30 --> 00:"1:#6,65/
Aso)ute)% outrageous!
#31
00:"1:#6,76# --> 00:"1:#/,17
Fa%, disai)it% c)aim!
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:",00
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