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Taking Care of Living
Spouse Coping Strategies Employment Readiness
Upcoming Events
Also Inside ~Translating Military to Civilian ~Taking Care of Yourself ~Free SAT and ACT Prep Software ~Final 2010 Kids on Guard Day Drill
September 2010—Volume 2, Issue 9
Family Matters
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Family Matters
Diane Coffill State Family Program Director
(919) 664-6324
SFC Calvin Buchan State Family Program Assistant
(919) 664-6124
SSG Kitange Jordan Budget Analysis
(919) 664-7583
SGT Daniel Holland HR Assistant
(919) 664-6124
PFC Carrie Stevens HR Assistant
(919) 664-6000 ext. 6876
Lana Greer State FAC Coordinator
(828) 271-5029
Renee Brotherton FAC Team Leader
(704) 359-5736
Kathleen Flaherty, LTC (Ret.)
Airman & Family Readiness Program Manager
(704) 398-4949
Pamela Hughes State FRG Advisor
(919) 693-5016 ext. 13
Alice Dean State Youth Coordinator
(919) 664-7616
Dear Families,
Fall is here. We hope that all of your Children are adjusting well to being back
in school, if they were out for the Summer.
Along with Fall comes more changes. I bet everyone is looking forward to
cooler weather, hopefully coming soon.
For our September Family Matters, we’ve chosen to focus on “Taking Care of
Living.” For Military Families who are living through the deployment cycle, you
are faced with changes that you can see and, then, there are those changes
that you can’t see. Please take a look at the Military OneSource article,
“Taking Care of Yourself When Your Spouse Has a Combat Stress Injury.”
Whether you’re a Single Soldier, a Parent, Loved One, or a Spouse, much of
the information is still relevant on what you may be experiencing.
I’d like to introduce you to our newest endeavor, the NC Employment Readi-
ness Program. Also, take a look at the upcoming changes to the Military
Spouse Advancement Account Program so you can take advantage of it.
Much of taking care of living includes being aware of what you face as a Mili-
tary Family and accessing the benefits and resources available to you.
Our FACs have planned some fun events, and you’ll also see other activities
planned for you across the State.
If you are in need of assistance, please give us a call. We’ll also be calling to
check in on you and your Family to see how you’re doing.
Wishing you and your Family all the best,
Diane Coffill
State Family Program Director
Become a Fan Get the Latest Updates on Facebook
Search “North Carolina National Guard Family Programs.”
Diane Coffill, State Family
Program Director, with a
military kid at a
Family Programs event.
“Guarding
Families
on the
Homefront”
Director’s Column
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A Pet In Need Is a Friend Indeed
A new Charlotte non-profit is helping match pets in need of homes
with veterans in need of companionship. Called Hounds4Heroes (H4H),
the group is devoted to placing animals in need of forever homes with
veterans who can benefit from the companionship, and unconditional
love and support those animals can provide. Founders Jennifer Bennett
and Hilary Walls started the nonprofit in 2010 after reading an article
about how companion animals help veterans recently returned from com-
bat.
“My dad served in Vietnam as a medic and returned with PTSD,” said
Bennett. “I sympathize with his suffering because I have General Anxiety
Disorder and Panic Disorder. My dogs help me when I’m having a very
hard time, by just allowing me to snuggle up to them or taking them for a
walk. Hounds4Heroes gives me an opportunity to help both veterans like
my dad and animals in need. I believe it is my life’s purpose.”
Hounds4Heroes made their first match on May 28, 2010 by partnering
with the Charlotte Vet Center, an outpatient counseling center. They
matched Army Vietnam Veteran Dewey Friday with Sissy; a six-year-old
Feist from Project Halo, one of Charlotte’s largest pet rescue organizations. Friday attends the Vet Center weekly for individual and
group therapy.
Just recently H4H matched Corporal Derek McQuain,
who was an infantryman in 33 India Company, 3rd Battal-
ion, 3rd Marine Division with Cain, a German Shepherd
mix. McQuain’s deployments to Afghanistan in 2004 and
2005, and then Iraq in 2006 and 2007 left him with post-
traumatic stress disorder.
“It’s a medicine that you don’t have to take out of a
bottle,” said McQuain.
Loretta Deaton, a team leader with the Charlotte Vet
Center believes the work Hounds4Heroes does will help
veterans better adjust to civilian life and deal with their
experiences from active duty. “I have witnessed first-hand
the effect dogs have on the mental health of our veterans,”
said Deaton. “By permanently placing companion ani-
mals, I believe Hounds4Heroes is positively contributing
to our veterans’ on-going readjustment.”
Hounds4Heroes hopes to be a resource for veterans in Charlotte who are dealing with the emotional effects of serving our coun-
try. They are also working on programs for the VA hospitals in Salisbury and Fayetteville. They are currently looking for another
veteran to place an animal with. Hounds4Heroes would especially like to help someone who has served in either Iraq or Afghani-
stan. According to Bennett, “We have lots of dogs, funding and programs in place, but we need more veterans who wants animals.”
Community Cares | Adopt a “Friend” in Need
This organization will be at the upcoming Yellow Ribbon Events. If you are unable to attend
the events call Hounds4Heroes at the contact information below.
If you are a veteran who is interested in adopting a dog, you can call H4H at (704) 900-
3933. If you have a general inquiry, are interested in volunteering with H4H, or are a health
care provider who would like to provide referrals, please send an email to
[email protected] for the quickest response.
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Not Just Another Program It is not the goal of this initiative to invent a new depart-
ment or service organization, but rather to focus and con-
solidate current resources and the efforts of various organi-
zations to have a real effect on the employment status of
Reserve Component Members and Families.
There are several organizations and programs with which
we are already partnered and there are continuing efforts
to seek out and partner with organizations that will provide
beneficial services. The Army Spouse Employment Partner-
ship and the Employment Partnership Office of the Armed
Forces are examples of our current partnerships.
NC Employment Readiness Program
The NCNG Family Programs Office would like you to know about a new
program in the works to assist NC National Guard Members and
Spouses with various employment issues.
The NC Employment Readiness Program is being created to expand
employment and career opportunities to help improve the financial
readiness of North Carolina’s Military Families. Our desired result is to
improve Family financial readiness to help increase overall force stabil-
ity and deployment readiness.
How to Accomplish the Mission Warriors in a stable, military-friendly work environment (whose Spouses
are in a similar situation) will have far less anxiety and stress before,
during and after deployment.
There are three key components in the plan to accomplish this mission:
Create and/or improve partnerships with local, regional and nation-
al companies operating in North Carolina; with the goal of expand-
ing employment opportunities for Warriors and their Families.
Train Warriors and Family members to utilize current resources; under-
stand their own marketable skills, abilities and experience; and im-
prove their job-seeking skills
Provide opportunities for Warriors and Family members to connect
with employers seeking to fill current and future positions. This will be
accomplished through Job Fairs (both virtual and in person), online
job search programs and direct application through veteran’s and
military support organizations.
To learn more, contact:
David Ponder
NC Employment
Readiness Specialist
Direct Line:
(828) 274-8571 [email protected]
Looking for ways to save?
Need help creating a budget?
Want to understand the new
credit card laws or more?
Contact
David Porter
Personal Financial Counselor
(704) 280-9555
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September is “Update Your Resume Month”
Translating Military to Civilian
Keeping Information Up-to-date is just as important as using employer buzz words when you do it. 1. Make your Skills, Qualifications and Accomplishments at-
tractive. 2. Entice the employer to want more from you...an interview. 3. You are already on your way to preparing for the interview
with your resume. Use it as your guide.
Words that
Pop
ACROSS 3. to make the most of; to increase to a maximum 5. to get or attain as the result of exertion: Reach 6. to search or investigate exhaustively
ACROSS (continued)
8. to cause to develop an organ-ic structure/to form into a coher-ent unity or functioning whole 9. to make fit (as for a specific or new use or situation) often by modification 10. to perceive a difference in : discern: to single out 11. to obligate or pledge oneself 12. to make known or familiar
DOWN 1. to list or rate (as projects or goals) in order of priority 2. a : to bring to a state or posi-tion of equipoise b : to poise in or as if in balance c : to bring into harmony or proportion 4. to bind oneself to observance: to give support or maintain loyal-ty: seven letters to the rules 7. to play a significant part in bringing about an end or result
Answers on Last Page
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2 3 4
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8
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10
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Careers for Transitioning Military (www.taonline.com/mosdot) has a Military to Civilian Crosswalk search that allows users to enter in a MOS to find converti-ble civilian positions. Included are key terms and “buzz” words that employ-ers search for electronically and physically.
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New Financial Assistance Guidance Beginning October 25, 2010, new MyCAA financial aid guidelines will take effect. These changes will help ensure the program's longevity in assisting spouses with receiving financial aid and finding portable ca-reers. Military OneSource Career and Education counselors will also play a much more active role in sup-porting military spouses. Army Reserve Soldiers must be on active duty for their spouses to receive the MyCAA benefit. Spouses may no longer use the MyCAA benefit when the service member is in an alert or demobilization period. Spouses of Army Reserve Soldiers must be able to start and complete their courses while their sponsor is on Title 10 orders. ACTION REQUIRED: Spouses who currently have an active account as of July 20 2010, must request ap-proval of a career plan not later than August 31, 2010. Beginning September 1, 2010, through October 21, 2010, spouses with active accounts may request financial assistance for classes with a start date up to (but not beyond) January 15, 2011. All currently approved financial assistance documents will be hon-ored.
For more information, including eligibility requirements and program goals, visit www.militaryonesource.com.
Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA)
New Changes Underway for the Spouse Tuition
Assistance Program, MYCAA
The Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA) program provides up to $4,000 (over 2 years) of Financial Assistance for military spouses who are pursuing degree programs, licenses or cre-
dentials leading to employment in portable career fields. Some refer to the MyCAA as Spouse Tuition Assistance.
Eligibility Available to spouses of active duty service members in pay grades
E1-E5, W1-W2, and O1-O2
Offer a maximum financial benefit of $4,000 with a fiscal year cap
of $2,000. Waivers will be available for spouses pursuing licensure or
certification up to the total maximum assistance of $4,000
Require military spouses to finish their program of study within three
years from the start date of the first course
Be limited to associate degrees, certification, and licenses
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Are you wondering how to keep your-
self and the rest of your Family healthy and strong while living with a combat vet-eran troubled by anxiety, depression, substance abuse, or too much anger?
If a member of your Family has returned home from deployment changed by behavioral and emo-tional symptoms of combat stress or trauma, your life has probably changed, too. It’s important to un-derstand how your own health and outlook may be affected as you try to give your loved one comfort and support. This article will give you information, strate-gies, and resources to ease the strain of living with and caring for someone with a combat-related stress injury.
What You Need to Know Combat stress is a common reac-tion to the stressful, dangerous, and disturbing experiences of war. It’s often the natural outcome of exposure to one or more traumat-ic or life-threatening events, or of being in a high-stress environment for a prolonged period of time. Everyone is changed in some way by combat experiences. But most report that, with a little time and rest, their initial symptoms of stress “re-set” so that they feel functional again. For some, how-ever, the symptoms of combat stress are actually symptoms of an injury, and these can become a longer-term mental health prob-lem.
(Continued on Page 10)
Taking Care of Yourself When Your Spouse Has a Combat Stress Injury
Overview Information, strategies, and re-sources to help Families cope with a loved one’s combat stress injury. • What you need to know • Impact on Family members • Coping strategies • Other resources
Photo by PhStaff Sgt. Dave Lankford. Courtesy of US.Army.mil
This article can be found at MilitaryOneSource.com
“It’s often the natural outcome of exposure to...being in a high-stress
environment for a prolonged period of time.”
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Spa Time
The Asheville Military Family Resource
Center invites Military Families to a day
of relaxation, at our “Spa Day.” Bring
your kids, we will keep them occupied
while you enjoy a Haircut, Manicure
and a Pedicure. A professional
makeup consultant will be on-hand
and you’ll also enjoy a quick pick-me-
up Massage.
Reserve your space to get pampered by September 24th. Contact Debra Collington at (828) 274-8571 or
Bring Family Unity Back to Life during the 2010 National Family Day
“A Day to Eat Dinner with your Kids”
September 27, 2010 According to CASA’s (National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, Columbia University) report The Importance of Family Dinners V, compared to children who have frequent family dinners (five or more per week), children who have infrequent family dinners (less than three per week) are: • Twice as likely to use marijuana • Twice as likely to use tobacco • More than one and a half times likelier to use alcohol
It’s never too early to start the tradition of regular family dinners with your children. Make dinnertime special by turning off the TV and not answering the phone during mealtime. To download a free Family Dinner Kit that in-cludes menu cards, placemats and recipes that you can use, visit: www.CASAFamilyDay.org.
Join parents all across the country in logging onto www.CASAFamilyDay.org to take the Family Day STAR Pledge to commit to: Spend time with your kids by having dinner together Talk to them about their friends, interests and the dangers of drugs and alcohol Answer their questions and listen to what they say Recognize that YOU have the power to keep your kids substance-free!
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Symptoms Symptoms of combat stress sometimes begin immediately af-ter a traumatic experience, but in many cases, weeks, months or even years pass before they be-come apparent. Often, the symptoms emerge or are first noticed 30 to 90 days af-ter the service member returns home. Common symptoms most likely to affect Family life and rela-tionships include: Angry outbursts, irritability, or
aggressive behavior Being constantly on guard or
easily startled Loss of positive or loving feel-
ings toward loved ones Feeling numb and without
emotion
Additional Symptoms Avoiding activities, places,
people, or thoughts that may be reminders of a traumatic event
Re-experiencing an event through flashbacks, night-mares, and painful recollec-tions
Sadness, depression, and/or isolation
Risky behavior such as drug or alcohol abuse and unsafe driving
Mood swings Loss of confidence and trust Loss of interest in life Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) When symptoms of combat stress continue for weeks or months without improving, or they get worse, it may mean the person has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a medically rec-ognized anxiety condition that can occur after exposure to trauma. It isn’t clear why some people devel-op PTSD and others don’t, but it is clear that having PTSD is not a sign of personal weakness. Any-one exposed to a severe traumat-ic experience is at risk. Perhaps the most important thing to re-member about combat stress and PTSD is that the service member should get professional help if symptoms continue for more than a few weeks, worsen, or interfere with normal daily life. There are effective treatments, and getting help early can prevent symptoms from worsening or becoming a long-term problem.
(Continued on Page 11)
(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 8)
“Often, the
symptoms emerge or
are first noticed 30 to
90 days after the
Service Member
returns home.”
11
(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 10)
The resources listed at the end of this article will help you learn more about the causes, symp-toms, and treatments for combat stress and PTSD.
Impact on Family Members If your combat veteran has symp-toms of combat stress that haven’t improved (or has been diagnosed with PTSD), you’re probably also feeling stressed from coping with his or her behavior and attitude changes. It can be frightening to witness angry outbursts. And it’s heartbreaking to see someone you love be withdrawn and de-pressed, paranoid and hyper-vigilant, or tense and anxious, for reasons that are difficult to under-stand. Negative feelings Spouses, children, parents, or siblings living with a person who has combat stress symptoms may experience conflicting and often painful emo-tions as they invest time and ener-gy into trying to help their loved one feel calm and happy. Don’t be surprised if you experience some of these negative feelings at differ-ent times or at the same time: confusion over what has hap-
pened to your loved one and what you need to do to be supportive
resentment about the changes in your life and the demands
of your new role as caregiver sadness that your loved one is
not the same person you used to know
fear that things will not get bet-ter
isolation from trying to give the appearance of normalcy and not having anyone to open up to
frustration when your loved one doesn’t acknowledge symptoms and rejects your efforts to help
guilt for having negative feel-ings toward your loved one or for not being able to make things better
Caregiver Burden When a combat veteran has PTSD and symptoms continue over time without improving, the lives of Family members become cen-tered on the role of caretaker. If you’re in this situation, you may: believe it’s your responsibility
to keep your loved one calm and comfortable at all times
have taken over all the respon-sibility for finances, child rear-ing, and household upkeep
feel that you have to control the circumstances that trigger symptoms (and you become keenly aware of what these are)
have set aside your friends and your interests in order to care for your loved One
(Continued on Page 12)
North Carolina National Guard Military Family Life Consultants
John Alleman Adult & Family Specialist (919) 745-9635 Betty Steelman Child & Family Specialist (919) 665-9178
Give us a call if you’d like to talk someone about what you may be facing or experienc-
ing. We’re here to help. Services are free and confidential.
“Confusion, Resentment,
Sadness, Isolation,
Frustration”
12
(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 11)
“Caregiver burden” is a term used to describe the physical and emo-tional strain of caring for someone with a chronic illness or dysfunc-tion, which PTSD sometimes be-comes. Symptoms of caregiver burden include anxiety and stress, depression, social isolation, and health problems. The worse a vet-eran’s PTSD symptoms are, the more severe caregiver burden is likely to be. Effect on Marriage With the many changes in combat veterans’ feelings and actions when struggling with PTSD, and their Family members’ natural re-action to these changes, it’s easy to understand why PTSD is a seri-ous threat to marriage and Family relationships. In fact, research has shown that couples coping with PTSD are at much greater risk for: chronic marital conflict loss of physical and emotional
intimacy
marital dissatisfaction by one or both partners
problems parenting children domestic violence divorce
Coping Strategies If you’re living with a combat vet-eran who’s been diagnosed with PTSD, or who’s showing the symptoms without receiving a di-agnosis or treatment, there are many things you can do to reduce caregiver burden and protect your marriage and Family. These sug-gestions from PTSD experts have helped many Family members manage the changes in their lives: Learn as much as you can about combat stress and PTSD. The
more you know about its causes, symptoms, treatment, and what you can do to help, the easier it will be for you to handle the im-pact on your Family. Start with the resources listed at the end of this article, which have links to even more information resources. Encourage your loved one to get help. Many combat veterans need encouragement to seek mental heath care. Be sure to share what you’ve learned about effective treatments and the importance of getting help early. Care for PTSD is available through the military health system (www.health.mil), the VA health care system (www.va.gov), and many commu-nity mental health care providers. If you’re not sure where to turn for help, talk to a Military OneSource consultant at 800-342-9647.(Continued on Page 13)
Apply Today for Operation Purple® Family Retreats Operation Purple Family Retreats are open to service members and their Families who have experienced deployment
within the last 15 months. To be eligible, service members must have returned from deployment no less than 3 months and no more than 15 months prior to the start date of each retreat. Travel expenses are not included. However, Families who attend will receive a $200 stipend per Family before departing from the retreat site to offset the cost of travel. The
retreats are free thanks to support from the Sierra Club and the Sierra Club Foundation.
September 17-20
YMCA of the Adirondacks, Silver Bay, New York
October 1-4
Outer Edge Performance, Larkspur, Colorado
October 15-18
Pocono Environmental Education Center, Dingmans Ferry, Pennsylvania
December 17-20
YMCA Camp Erdman, Waialua, Hawaii
For more information visit www.militaryFamily.org/our-programs/operation-purple/Family-retreats.
“...there are many things
you can do to reduce
caregiver burden…”
13
(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 12)
Give permission to be injured. You can help erase the stigma preventing many combat veter-ans from getting mental health treatment by giving your loved one permission to be injured. You might say something like “It’s OK if you’re not OK.” This simple statement demon-strates your acceptance of the service member’s injury and helps to create a supportive environment in which he or she can start to see that seek-ing treatment will benefit every-one in the Family.
Examine the expectations you have of yourself and make sure they’re reasonable. Fami-ly members often believe they must take care of their loved one’s every need and make everything perfect at home. But you can’t fix the problems brought on by PTSD. Too much coddling can lower a person’s self-confidence and make symptoms worse. And trying to do everything will only add to your stress. It’s OK to let some things go.
Practice positive communica-tion. PTSD often leads couples into negative and hurtful com-munication patterns. It helps if you talk to your loved one in ways that are clear, to the point, and without blame. And communication works best when you can share your feel-ings using statements that begin with “I” rather than “you.” For example, you might say “I feel hurt when you don’t pay attention to what I’m say-ing” instead of “You never pay attention when I’m talking.”
Be a good listener. It’s im-portant to know how to listen without interrupting or giving
advice. You can encourage your loved one to open up by asking questions like “Are you feeling sad?” (or angry, wor-ried, frustrated, etc.). Good listeners repeat what they hear to show they understand and ask questions when they don’t understand.
• Allow yourself to grieve. If someone you love is not who he or she once was, you feel it
as a loss. You may need to p e r m i t y o u r s e l f t o acknowledge your loss and let out your feelings about it in private or with outside support from friends, Family, clergy, or a counselor.
Stay involved with Family and friends. Sometimes Families coping with PTSD try to give the appearance that everything is fine, and they keep friends and relatives in the dark about what they’re coping with. But it’s important for your well-being to have a support sys-tem. Make an effort to open up to people you trust, who will listen without judgment and protect your Family’s privacy. And try to get used to the idea of asking them for help when you need it.
Make time to care for yourself. You may feel guilty if you focus on your own needs, but being able to care for yourself is vital to being able to care for someone else. Important ways to care for yourself in-clude:
Spending some time alone to think and renew your spirit (you might try writing your thoughts in a journal)
getting out to take part in activities you enjoy eating healthy foods, exer-cising, and getting enough sleep (Many caregivers ex-press difficulty sleeping themselves. Seek help from your primary care provider for sleep regulation, if you need it.)
Consider counseling or a sup-port group. If you find that the-se strategies are not enough to ease the stress in your life, individual counseling or a sup-port group for PTSD Family members may give you the reassurance and coping skills you need. Couples counseling with your combat veteran can also be helpful. You may be able to get this support where your loved one is receiving treatment for PTSD. Or you can call Military OneSource at 1-800-342-9647 and get a re-ferral for the option that works best for you.
(Continue On Page 15)
See the video NCNG Teens made during
their weekend retreat online at
www.nc.ngb.army.mil/fp or on NCNG
Family Programs Facebook, search,
“North Carolina National Guard Family
Programs”
“Practice positive
communication.”
14
Unit Events
Yellow Ribbon
Reintegration Program
Events
“Featured Guest Hound4Heroes”
September 10 -12
621st EN BN—30/60 PDHRA
Gastonia
September 25
105th EN BN—Reunion/Homecoming
Cary
For additional information, call:
(800) 621-4136 EXT. 6054
Freedom Salute Events HHC/1-120th CAB
Saturday, September 18, 9:30 a.m.
Northside Baptist Church
2501 N. College Rd., Wilmington
HHC, 230th BSB
Sunday, September 19, 2 p.m.
Dillard Academy, 504 West Elm St., Goldsboro
A Co, 230th BSB
Saturday, September 18, 10 a.m.
Location: TBA, Benson
B Co, 230th BSB
Saturday, September 18, 1 p.m.
Dunn Armory, 901 Susan Tart Rd., Dunn
FAMILY DAYS Lexington National Guard Community Day
September 11, 1-5 p.m.
201 West 9th Ave., Lexington
130th Finance CO Family Day
September 11, 8 a.m.—5 p.m.
Siler City Armory, 800 Alston Bridge Rd., Siler City
1451st TC Family Day
September 11, 9 a.m.—3 p.m.
Lake James Picnic Area, 2785 State Hwy 126, Nebo
875th EN CO Family Day
September 12, 10 a.m.—3 p.m.
Kerr Scott Dam Reservoir, 499 Reservoir Rd., Wilkesboro
HHC, 630th CSSB Family Day
September 12, 10 a.m.—3 p.m.
Granite Falls Park, 51 Pinewood Rd., Granite Falls
875 EN CO Det 1 Family Day
September 12, 11 a.m.—3 p.m.
Camp Walter Johnson, Denton
883rd EN CO, Sappers Family Day
September 12, Time: TBA
Hanging Rock State Park, Danbury
15
(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 13)
Helping Children Cope If you have children exposed to your loved one’s symptoms of PTSD, they’re as frightened, con-fused, and stressed as you are. But they may have less ability to make sense of the changes in their lives. You’ll need to invest as much time and energy as you can in helping your children cope. Try to explain the reasons for the PTSD symptoms in a way that’s appropriate for the child’s age and without going into disturbing details. Create opportunities for children to express their feelings, and get away from the home envi-ronment occasionally so you can focus just on them. You’ll need to make sure children know they’re not the cause of the parent’s trou-bling behaviors. Sometimes chil-dren of a parent with PTSD will begin to have similar emotional and behavioral difficulties, includ-ing anxiety, depression, angry out-bursts, academic problems, hy-peractivity, and difficulty relating to adults and other children. These children will benefit from therapy, individually with a therapist or with their parents and a therapist. Deal-ing with anger and violence Un-controlled anger is perhaps the most difficult symptom of PTSD for Families to deal with. It’s im-possible to communicate with someone who’s in a rage or being verbally abusive, and it’s best not to try at that moment. A time-out system works for many couples. If anger begins to take over a dis-
cussion, one or the other gives the time-out signal, and both agree to come back together at a set time with constructive ideas for solving the problem. When anger turns into physical violence, it can be dangerous. If your loved one’s symptoms include excessive an-ger or the threat of violence, make sure you have identified a place to go where you and your children will be safe. If you’ve been the vic-tim of violence, don’t assume things will get better. Get help from your installation’s victim ad-vocate (the Family Support Center or Family Advocacy Program will connect you), Military OneSource at (800) 342-9647, or the Nation-al Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE. Staying Optimistic Don’t forget that one of the most important coping strategies for any problem is a positive attitude. Most people with PTSD can recov-er fully or learn to manage symp-toms in ways that allow them to live peaceful and productive lives. You can take heart that, with treat-ment and your continued support, your Family can have brighter days ahead.
Other Resources After Deployment www.afterdeployment.org Offers information and self-guided solutions for dealing with common combat stress symptoms, includ-ing self-assessment tool and links to additional information re-sources. National Center for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder www.ptsd.va.gov Go to the “For Veterans and the General Public” page. Here you can find links to information about PTSD for Families and friends and download the booklet Returning from the War Zone: A Guide for Families of Military Members. If you have children, be sure to see the fact sheet, “When a Child’s Parent Has PTSD.”
(Continued on Page 16)
“If you have children exposed to your loved one’s symptoms of PTSD,
they’re as frightened, confused, and stressed as you are.”
Suicide Prevention Lifeline
(800) 273-Talk (8255)
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(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 15)
Real Warriors Campaign www.realwarriors.net Information resources to promote resilience, recovery, and support for returning service members, veterans, and their Families. The section for Families has coping tips and resources. Your Military Support Services www.jointservicesupport.org Each service branch sponsors information, referral, and support programs for service members and their Families. You can call or visit any installation Army Commu-nity Service Center, Marine Corps Community Services, Fleet and Family Support Center, or Airman and Family Readiness Center re-gardless of your branch affiliation. If you aren’t near an installation, National Guard Family Assistance Centers are available in every state. The Local Community Resource Finder on the National Guard Family Program site at www.jointservicessupport.org will identify your closest center.
Military OneSource www.militaryonesource.com This free 24-hour service is avail-able to all active duty, Guard, and Reserve members (regardless of activation status) and their Fami-lies. Consultants provide infor-mation and make referrals on a wide range of issues including support for Families coping with post-traumatic stress symptoms. Free face-to-face counseling ses-sions (and their equivalent by phone or online) are also availa-ble. Call 1-800-342-9647 or go to www.MilitaryOneSource.com to learn more.
### This article was written with help from Heidi Kraft, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and con-sultant to military combat stress programs.
Dr. Kraft's book, Rule Number Two: Lessons I Learned in a Combat Hospital is a firsthand
account of her experiences and insights while serving on active duty as a Navy psy-
chologist with a Marine Corps surgical com-pany in Iraq.
DEERS/ID Cards
(800) 538-9552
TriCare
(888) 363-2273
www.tricare.osd.mil
Transition Assistance
Andy Jackson
(919) 664-6573
American Red Cross
(877) 272-7337
www.redcross.org
National Suicide Prevention
Hotline
(800) 273-TALK (8255)
Veteran’s Affairs (VA)
The VA offers Readjustment
Counseling Services for service
members and their Families
working toward readjustment.
Locations
Charlotte Vet Center
(704) 333-6107
Fayetteville Vet Center
(910) 488-6252
Greensboro Vet Center
(336) 333-5366
Greenville Vet Center
(252) 355-7920
Raleigh Vet Center
(919) 856-4616
Quick Reference
Guide
One Stop for information about employment, mental health, finances, and more
April Prout Military OneSource
NC MOS Joint Family Support Assistance Program Consultant
(919) 745-0929 [email protected]
17
2025 National Guard Dr.
Morrisville, 27560
FAX: (919) 664-6156
Alice Dean
State Child and Youth Coordinator
(800) 621-4136 ext. 7616
(919) 664-7616
Bridgette Carroll
KOG Coordinator
(800) 621-4136 ext. 8820
Kristi Wagner
Youth Coordinator
(800) 621-4136 ext. 8820
OPERATIONOPERATIONOPERATION KIDS ON GUARDKIDS ON GUARDKIDS ON GUARD Help round out the final Kids on Guard events for the year. On October 23rd, join us at the Charlotte Armory where activities will be available for ages 0-18. Military youth ages 8-16 are cordially invited to join the up-coming Overnight Weekend Camp happening September 24-26, 2010.
You can register for a Kids on Guard Day Drill and/or the Overnight Weekend Camp online at www.nc.ngb.army.mil under Child and Youth Programs, then Kids on Guard.
To register or for questions, contact Bridgette Carroll, KOG Assistant, at (800) 621-4136 ext. 8820 or [email protected].
Final Day Drill
October 23: Charlotte Armory, 4240 West Blvd., Charlotte Overnight Weekend Camp September 24-26, 2010: Camp Butner Training Site 539 Roberts Chapel Road, Stem
See you there!
Child & Youth Program
FREE ACT AND SAT PREP MATERIAL
ACT and SAT Prep free for all military and their
Families. Service Members from all branches who
are active duty, retired, Veterans, Guard, Reserve,
DoD employees, and civilians performing military
support. Also eligible are relatives and dependents
of anyone who qualifies from the list. The dona-
tion is in alliance with the Department of Defense
and supported by a group of patriotic NFL and
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for the materials, shipping and handling. Please
note eKnowledge does not profit from this venture.
The software may be ordered online or by tele-
phone. To order online follow these two simple
steps:
1) Visit: www.eKnowledge.com/USA
2) Enter Sponsorship Code: FMX659772
To order by telephone call (951) 256-4076
18
Pamela Hughes
State FRG Advisor
105 West Spring St.
Oxford, 27565
(919) 693-5016 ext. 11
Family Readiness
Support Assistants
Charlotte (704) 359-5707
Clinton Sarah Strickland
(910) 299-5466
Goldsboro Greg Smith
(919) 739-5319
Jacksonville Judy Richardson
(910) 347-4352/line 11
Morrisville Jim Roberson
(919) 664-7655
Family Readiness Groups
Joint: The new 'buzz word' in
Family support
By Air Force Master Sgt. Mike
R. Smith
National Guard Bureau
ARLINGTON, Va., (8/4/10) --
The National Guard is willing
to help Family members
around the country, no mat-
ter which branch or compo-
nent their servicemember be-
longs to, the Guard's top Fam-
ily programs official said Aug. 3."Families' needs are the same across the
board, and we can't afford to work within just our own service," Alex Baird,
chief of Family Programs for the National Guard Bureau told participants in a
DoD Bloggers Roundtable. "We've got to be joint."
He added that a Family's location, financial constraints, limited local infor-
mation and a need for face-to-face interaction demands that all the ser-
vices make their support programs accessible to all. The National Guard has
about 40,000 volunteers across the 54 states and territories, who support ser-
vicemembers and their Families, he said. "I think the biggest success is the
way we've been able to use our volunteers," said Baird, who hosted the 2010
National Guard Volunteer Workshop in New Orleans this week. "We're all in
the same service together, so we're willing to help anybody," he said. Baird
said the Guard has made progress in communicating its Family and service-
members support programs through the Joint Services Support Portal at
http://www.jointservicessupport.org. "You can find out who the state Family
program directors are, the Family assistance centers, and connect any-
where into that network, and then they can get you the help that you
need," he said. " He said the Guard does not replace the programs and sup-
port of other service components, but it augments them, especially for the
Families of servicemembers, who may be geographically isolated from their
units. "There's a big difference between somebody who can come face to
face with you and somebody who is … halfway across the country," he said.
"The other thing we find is when you've got somebody, let's say, in Kentucky
that you're trying to get help … they don't really know what the services are
in Minnesota. So having somebody who's local, who knows what the local
resources are and support services are, is a great advantage." Baird said the
other reserve components have also adopted this practice. "We know (they)
never turn any of our Families away," he said.
Volunteers and military leaders from across the state join in New Orleans for the 2010 National Guard Volunteer Conference
Comments from Volunteer Workshop Facebook
Robin Fletscher “Thank you to all the volunteers that give of themselves when our spouses are deployed. We need a solid go to organization in our area.”
“The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff vowed today to eliminate the "yes-no" box that appears on some predeployment checklists that determines whether a servicemembers' units can contact their Families during deployments.”
Sonia Brumfield Thank goodness. I've wanted that darn box gone for years!
19
Kannapolis Military Family Resource Center
I am Lynn White, and was born and raised in Char-lotte, NC. I have two grown children and will become a “MiMe” in October with my first grandchild. Chris and Brooke are very special to me, and I am so thankful for God giving me good children. I am fortu-nate for the past experiences I have had. I have had my glamour job. I have worked in the NASCAR field for over 20 years. I have met some superstars with the work that I’ve done, but the real super stars are in the military (Soldiers). I am proud to be a part of this great state and also proud to be working with Family Programs - NCNG. I am honored to be able to help the Families of the Soldiers that fight for us each day.
My name is Sierra Johnson, 20 years old. I was born and raised in Catawba, NC. I have a 4 month old daughter, Zoey Leigh, my ZoeBug I call her. She is my world and then some. My Family means the world to me; after all, I wouldn’t be here today without them. I joined the North Carolina National Guard on December 22, 2006 as a 42A, Human Resources Specialist. I absolutely love everything about the National Guard and the “Family” that I have made with so many of the Soldiers. Not only have I made friends with some amazing Soldiers, I have also made friends with their amazing support systems. I pride myself in being the person in my unit that many people can come and talk to or ask any question and know that they will be helped and satisfied with my work, I look forward to being able to give the same satisfac-tion to their Families as well. I took this position because I love being able to help people. Being a Family Assistance Specialist, I can not only help the Soldiers, but I can help their wonderful Families as well.
My name is Shane Judd. I was born and raised in Nebraska. I attended the University of Nebraska for both Undergrad and Law school. I served in the 82d Airborne as a legal specialist for 4 years. I have a 7 year old daughter, Ally, who I love very much. I’m a former world pow-erlifting champion. I truly enjoy helping Soldiers and their Families. Hav-ing worked as a civilian member of the NCNG legal assistance team in Charlotte for about 2-1/2 years, I am very excited to have the oppor-tunity to help our Service Members and their Families through Family Programs. Being able to work with such caring, creative and fun peo-ple makes this job even better.
Meet the FAC
20
Asheville Military Family Resource Center (MFRC), 7 Yorkshire St. Suite C, 28803/Fax: (828) 274-8572 Debra Collington, FAC Network Coordinator, [email protected], (828) 274-8571 Sue Bennett, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (828) 274-8571 Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 4240 West Blvd., 28208/Fax: (704) 359-5759 Doretha McLaughlin, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (704) 359-5769 Rachel Talbott, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (704) 359-5756 Fayetteville Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 449 East Mountain Dr., 28306/Fax: n/a Amy Wallace, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (910) 672-5125 Greensboro State Family Assistance Center (SFAC), 110 Franklin Blvd., 27401/Fax: (336) 691-7725 Katy Jones, FAC Network Coordinator, [email protected], (336) 691-7712 Sandy Harrison, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (336) 691-7763 Greenville State Family Assistance Center (SFAC), 1401 N. Memorial Dr., 27834/Fax: (252) 551-6136 Dawn White, FAC Network Coordinator, [email protected], (252) 551-5669 Kannapolis Military Family Resource Center (MFRC), 6001 Gateway Ctr. Dr., Suite 109, 28081/Fax: (704) 359-5759 Sierra Johnson, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (704) 788-4554 Shane Judd, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (704) 788-4553 Lynn White, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (704) 788-4554 Kinston Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 2875 Dobbs Farm Rd., 28504/Fax: (252) 526-2772 Limited Office Hours, Please Call Ahead
Earlene Capps, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (919) 334-9957 Lenoir State Family Assistance Center (SFAC), 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd., Lenoir, 28645/Fax: (828) 757-4519 Nancy Davis, FAC Network Coordinator, [email protected], (828) 757-4365 Frances Johnson, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (828) 757-4365 Raleigh Military Family Resource Center (MFRC), 130 Penmarc Dr. Suite 110, 27603/(919) 334-9966/Fax: (919) 334-9971 Mark Woolbright, FAC Network Coordinator, [email protected], (919) 334-9966 Lisa Faison, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (919) 334-0196 Earlene Capps, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (919) 334-9957 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 406 Hospital Rd., 27577/Fax: (919) 934-2901 Abby Millsap, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (919) 485-9565 Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 500 Morganton Rd., PO Box 1317, 28387/Fax: (910) 692-3659 David Butler, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (910) 692-8747 Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 2412 Infantry Rd., 28412/Fax: (910) 251-7130 Jim Marley, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (910) 251-7195 Wilmington Military Family Resource Center (MFRC), 3114 Randall Pkwy., 28403/Fax: (910) 343-1776 Judy Howard, FAC Network Coordinator, [email protected], (910) 343-1775 Julie Rowe, FAC Specialist, [email protected], (910) 343-1775
Family Assistance Staff
Crossword Answers: Down: 1. Prioritize; 2. Balanced; 4. Adhered;7. Participate; Across: 3. Maximized; 5. Achieved; 6. Researched; 8. Organized; 9. Adapted; 10. Distinguished;11. Committed;12. Familiarized
caring Knowledgeable
free confidential
available willing
21
The North Carolina National Guard is joining the nation in observing National Suicide Pre-
vention Awareness Month.
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulty in dealing with life stressors, the
most important thing to remember is that help is available to restore individual resiliency. The-
se three resources are available 24/7 and free of charge:
NCNG Director of Psychological Health, Dr. Renee Evans: 919.257.8863
Military OneSource: 1.800.342.9647
National Suicide Prevention Hotline Number: 1.800.273.TALK (8255)
In calendar year 2009, the Army National Guard as a whole lost 63 Guard members to
suicide. For the period 1 January through 31 July 2010, the Army National Guard has already
lost 65 Guard members. Closer to home, the North Carolina Army National Guard has experi-
enced 4 NC Guard member confirmed suicides since January 2010. This is the deadliest year
on record in terms of suicide for the North Carolina National Guard. While we all recognize
the effects of an unprecedented operational tempo, the challenges of serving in today’s mili-
tary should not be so great that anyone is left to believe that ending their own life is an option.
As members of the National Guard, we must identify those among us who are at risk,
assist them in finding alternatives to deal with life stressors, and if necessary, personally inter-
vene. Always remember ACE: Ask, Care, Escort.
By working together, we can build ready and resilient Guard members who are able to
bounce back from adversity.
Sincerely,
CPT Agata Tyson
Suicide Prevention Program Manager
919-664-6000 ext 6909; [email protected]
