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Looking back, moving forwardBy Ken Danford, Executive Director

Over 100 people came together for North Star’s first ever All-Alumni Reunion on Nov. 27, 2010.

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Every once in a great while, I have a moment of despair. I look at North Star’s financial reports, and exclaim, “After fifteen years, this is what we have to show?” Then, we have moments like our All-Alumni Fifteen-Year Reunion, where I survey the room and exclaim “After fifteen years, this is what we have to show!” Our event in November was a joyous celebration, and showed that our greatest assets are our alumni and the large amount of history and good will North Star has going for it today.

Our celebration began with an afternoon panel discussion at an Open House featuring early members Willow Hersh, Jacob Miller-Mack, Mishy Leiblum, and Ramon Elinevsky reflecting on how their choice to leave school and begin homeschooling (with the support of North Star) changed their lives. They spoke about far more

than their educational experiences, connecting their current sense of self-control and potential directly to their choice to challenge themselves to grow outside the accepted institution of schooling.

This panel was followed by a rather glorious evening party. In the crowd of over 100 people, every era of North Star’s history was represented, and all the years seemed to blend together as I looked out at the group. I couldn’t remember which people might know each other. The only remotely similar experience for me was my own wedding. I am delighted that so many people made such an effort to be with us that evening (flying from across the country!), and I continue to marvel at the memories.

As I said at the reunion, it is the continued success of our alumni that

gives me confidence when I talk with new families about our approach. Several times a week I meet with prospective members and share my startling perspective that withdrawing from school might be the best thing they ever do. These people usually stare at me, trying to decide if I’m serious. They wonder how I can be so certain about something so counter to the prevailing wisdom. My strategy is to bury them in stories of alumni. I have such confidence, such joy, and such amusement in sharing their stories. I knew them as they entered North Star, I knew them while they were members, and I stay in touch with them now that they have moved on.

Our alumni are an incredible group. On November 27, 2010, they were a sight to behold. Our greatest asset, indeed!

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I like the idea of not telling kids what to do with their creativity, but instead supporting their own intuitive, creative expression. North Star gives me the opportunity to explore this idea in practice. I have greatly enjoyed working with the kids in my art class every Monday. They are certainly growing artistically right before my eyes. They are also inspiring each other’s art and working as a group in a spontaneous and relaxed way.

I am an individual and family therapist and artist living in Northampton. I have a practice at Mt. Tom Center for Mental Health and Recovery in Holyoke and I am currently selling my art work at Pinch Gallery and Sticks and Bricks in downtown Northampton. I hope to develop a creative and therapeutic mentoring practice in the coming years.

TEACHER PROFILEOur Wish List

• quality bookcases• hard & thumb drives• floor refinishing• art supplies• nice, big, dark rug• polaroid camera• audio recorder• framing services• indoor plants• walls get painted• a HUGE flat screen TV• gardening tools

If you have or know of how to get any of these items, please contact Catherine Gobron at (413) 582-0193 or catherine@northstarteens.org

KENDRA ROSENBLATT

As you may know, we have an AWESOME building; 6 rooms of varying sizes and furnishings. We are looking to sublet it out for most of the summer to one group (mid-June to mid-August). To ask questions and get rates, call Catherine at (413) 582-0193 or email her at catherine@northstarteens.org.

WANTED: SUMMER SUBLETTERS

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.

“- Stacia Tauscher

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NEWS & NOTES

Wilderness ClassCOLLEGE ADMISSIONS PANEL58 people came to hear our 6 expert panelists share their perspectives and advice on the college admissions process!  Our favorite part of the night? In discussing the most oft-used path North Star members take (auditing or taking a few college classes before diving into a 4-year experience), Jon Westover from UMass said, "North Star students have a distinct advantage [in the admissions process] ."  Of course, we knew that, but it was nice to have it confirmed.

Also important to hear:

"This is your time to be selfish."

"It's all about the FIT; do you go well with this particular college?"

"There are 4,000 colleges in the U.S. alone.  You can go to college, and the right college for you." 

To parents: "Have FUN with this.  It may be the last significant amount of time you have with your teen."

and Finn. We’re pretty happy to have him around too.

ALUMNI CHECK IN

My wife Catherine and I were recently invited to serve in the Peace Corps in Ukraine as TEFL (Teachers of English as a Foreign Language) volunteers! We're leaving the country together in March, and we'll be in Ukraine until 2013. You can follow my adventures at http://adam-in-ukraine.blogspot.com starting in late March.

I recently graduated from Eugene Lang College, a branch of The New School, with a BA in Theater. My senior work was writing and directing a full-length play, Juggling Consciousness. I work for an interactive theatrical education program called The Wayfinder Experience and Adventure Game Inc., where I teach and direct summer and school programming.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?Where are you now? E-mail Sarah at sarah@northstarteens.org -like, seriously.

ALUMNI PANEL at an OPEN HOUSEOver 50 people came to hear Mishy Leiblum, Willow Hersh, Ramon Elinevsky, and Jacob Miller-Mack reflect on their North Star experience. Open houses are proving to be a great way to interact with curious families and community members.

Trine Boode-Petersen2002 - 2005New York City

Adam Nicotera1997 - 1999Ukraine

VOYAGERS’ EDUCATION CONFERENCEKen, Jonah, and some teen members will head down to Farmingdale, NJ to do a workshop at this 3-day education conference in late March. Then they’ll visit the Princeton Learning Cooperative, a program modeled after North Star.

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It’s just greatBy Alexander Blaustein, current member

This isAdriana!

I must begin by sharing my affection and empathy for Alexander. His mixture of desire, impatience, and anxiety remind me of some of my family members. He is certainly one of the personality types for whom I created North Star. Alexander is a poster child for my belief that North Star provides teens with the time and space to figure out how to be themselves. When I met Alexander three years ago, I could see that he already possessed a strong sense of self, that he was a genuinely fascinating character. But at age 14, having just left school, he had no experience with letting himself be. I believe that is why, as he reports in this essay, he hardly showed up at North Star during his first year of membership. He needed that time to just settle. Last year, being both naturally curious and mildly open to adult encouragement, Alexander found his way in to our program. This year he has become a central part of our community. His trajectory reminds us that teens can use North Star in different ways as they grow, and that we can trust them to find their paths. I appreciate the unwavering support and confidence that Alexander’s parents have demonstrated in this process. They may not have felt they had many options, but their good humor and love have made working with their family a joy. I now relish the (frequent) moments when Alexander approaches me to say that he urgently wants to start a new class or clarify a social interaction that left him feeling uneasy. Alexander’s three-year growth is heart-warming, and it’s clear to all of us that the process is continuing. Alexander always feels that he should only do things he plans to do well. In that vein, I’m glad that he chose to share his story with all of us. - Ken Danford

I always did fine in school, but I never enjoyed going to it.  I’ve always had anxiety problems.  I’ve never liked being in groups.  Even in kindergarten, I thought I could do better on my own.

I figured that if I had to be in school for 6.5 hours per day on 5 days per week, I might as well make the most of that time and learn something. I was usually annoyed that some of my classmates didn’t share this mindset.  Throughout my career in traditional school, I felt like I was

surrounded by people who were apathetic at best and actively disruptive at worst.  My 6th grade teacher had a habit of addressing his class as “a roving pack of jackals.”  I couldn’t focus in an environment like that! I grew resentful of my peers. I didn’t think it was fair for any of my teachers to waste the whole class’s time because one person did something stupid.  I already had problems making friends in school. But my lack of patience with my classmates made me even more of an outcast.

I never wanted to do any extracurricular activities because I was just so stressed out from spending my whole day cooped up in a noisy classroom.  When the clock struck 3:00, I rushed out of the classroom and went home as soon as I could.  When I got there I was too burned out to want to do anything.

Around the end of 8th grade, the institutional stress of school that I’d endured for so long was finally becoming too much for me to manage. I realized that things wouldn’t get much better in high school.  I thought that I probably wouldn’t make any more friends, and there would be more work to worry about.  I needed to find an alternative.  I looked at several less traditional high schools before I heard about North Star.  I knew several people who had gone there.  From what I heard, it was what I was looking for.

I decided that I was going to quit school, join North Star, and take charge of my own education. But I wasn’t totally sure how to go about it.  I was convinced that to get anywhere in life, I had to get the exact equivalent of a high school education.  I thought this would be easy enough for me to pull off.    I studied a little history, dabbled in linguistics, and tried to learn the drums.  But this was all much less than what I thought was required.  Ultimately, I felt like I didn’t get much done in that first year.  It was a failure of time management on my part.  At that time, I wasn’t a socially inclined person, and I only came to North Star for a few workshops.  The best one was watching the inauguration of Barack Obama live with a group.  

I almost didn’t come back to North Star for a second year, my tenth grade year.  My family convinced me to stay and try one class, theater.  Despite my initial impatience with the class, I enjoyed it and stuck with it.  For a while, I was still reluctant to come in more often.  I gradually started to spend more time here getting to know people. I discovered I kind of enjoyed being part of North Star.  I met interesting people.  Before I knew it, I was coming in for a full day, and soon after that it was three days a week.  By the end of the year, I felt like I was getting to know people.  In May, the theater group put on a show, an evening of one-act plays.  It was the first time I participated with a theater group that actually cared about producing something good.  It was a wonderful experience that reignited my interest in the theater.  After the theater performance was over, the last week of North Star consisted of a series of day trips to museums and beaches.  I went on almost all of them, and for the first time I really felt like I was part of a community.

This past Fall (now 11th grade) I had an “aha” moment. I realized that I don’t necessarily need to do everything I

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would have done in high school.  I do have tutors for some core subjects, but my greatest asset right now is having time. I am able to seek out things that legitimately grab my interest.  I do things I wouldn’t have done if I were doing three hours of homework every night.  

I’ve taken a big interest in hobbyist electronics. I went to the Maker Faire in New York which sparked my interest in various do-it-yourself technologies.  My first successful project was a small digital clock from a kit.  I now know about circuitry, and I have learned to solder.  I have been working with Arduino, which is an open-source microcontroller platform.  I can program these tiny computers to operate small electronic devices such as LED lights, motors, or small speakers.  I have several projects in mind.

In January, I started volunteering at Valley Free Radio, a great local station. So far I have gone to one training to learn about the equipment and FCC regulations. For now I want to  help out by making public service announcements, but some day I would like to have my own program.

Last semester I took a Greenfield Community College class in political science. It was one of the most wonderful experiences I’ve ever had sitting at a desk and listening to people talk.  These people were there because they wanted to learn about politics. They were knowledgeable, attentive, and involved. The professor poured his heart and soul into it.  To top it off, despite my worries about writing papers, I earned an A- for my first classroom experience since 8th grade!

Meanwhile, at North Star, in addition to theater, I have found a couple of other classes to attend.  I enjoy Social Issues, Rebellions-Heresies-Dreams, and Critical Thinking.  I’ve even started my own class, called Dramatic Readings.  I bring in great plays for a small group to read and discuss.  It’s going quite well so far.  I have  a small, dedicated group that come every week.  It’s a fun thing to do - taking a script such as The Birthday Party by Harold Pinter and running through it.

When I take a class at North Star or at GCC, I am confident that everyone is there because they want to be.  Once we did a theater class without Ellen, the director, and our group self-directed the class.  It felt great.  The frustration I used to feel with my peers back in the elementary school classroom has disappeared.

Socially, I am connecting with lots of people at North Star.  It is not a strict classroom setting where I feel a need to be competitive.  I am usually friendly to everyone here.   I can introduce myself and say “Nice to meet you, what are you interested in?”  I’ve met lots of people here interested in many of the same things I am.  I never experienced this in school.

I am now 17, and I would be in 11th grade.  Next year will be my final year at North Star.  I think I’m going to be fine, looking ahead.  I think I’ve had a lot of time to overcome my anxieties.  I have done things I didn’t think I’d ever do. I have become more open-minded, spontaneous, and relaxed.  I’m better off in general.  It’s just great.

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There’s a whole lot of acting going on around here

In addition to being a North Star alum and our Operations Manager, Ellen Morbyrne has developed a theatre program at North Star over the last 8 years that is, quite honestly, a pretty big deal. Ellen’s background and education in the theatre bring to North Star a level of expertise and knowledge that has grown us a Pioneer Valley-wide reputation for quality teen theatre.

This year she was assisted by alum Nia Steiner and turned out a wonderful weekend of one-acts in February, featuring 20 North Star members in 8 plays.

THE WHOLE GANG

Liam, Abbey, and Marcostarred in Words, Words, Words by David Ives

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Before I joined North Star I was a student at a local technical school. When I got there, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and we had very little time to decide, so I decided on the welding and metal fabrication shop.

I liked welding and the work that I was doing, but I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. I felt like I was being channeled towards a life I didn’t want. I had always been so wrapped up in school and homework that I never had the time to figure out what my passions were. I knew that if I ever

wanted to be in control of my life I was going to have to start thinking for myself, and the sooner the better.

At the time my best friend Wren was a member of North Star. I knew that North Star would allow me to start that search for what I wanted to pursue. I joined nervously but confident that this would work for me.

At North Star, for the first time I had the time and energy to think about what I was passionate about. And I was in an environment where people felt free to talk openly about their passions and interests. This attitude was infectious.

In school I was always afraid of being judged. I strived to fit in. In school we had very little control of our time, our bodies, and where we wanted to focus our energy. Lacking these necessities and looking for a way to gain importanc,many people felt the need to gain control by ranking and comparing themselves with others, in any way that would place them on top.

North Star is structured to give teens the simple freedom to gain a sense of importance by working on things that provide meaning to their lives. I think that when people have this they don’t feel the need to rank and judge others. So for the first time I’m able to focus on becoming who I want to be, and not worry about what other people think, because I knew that the staff and other members will support me no matter what.

I still don’t know exactly what I want to do. But I’m constantly searching. And in the meantime life is an adventure.

7PRINCIPLES that inform our work

When I was in school at Belchertown High I was miserable. I felt like the work we were doing wasn't benefiting me and therefore, I didn't have the drive I needed to do well. Getting all the work done was nearly impossible and I was always

just scraping by. I couldn't help but feel stupid.  I wondered why my sister could succeed in school while I never could.  It made me feel like an idiot. School was robbing me of all my energy and my spark and taking away my "me.”

When I first arrived at North Star, it was a shock!  I was finally able to focus on things that were meaningful to me. At first I couldn't believe it. I started playing music again, focusing on bass, drums and lyrics. These were things I didn't have the time or energy to do while I was in school. 

I was excelling. For the first time I was able to be good at something. Succeeding at things that were meaningful to me allowed me to feel good about myself and helped me realize that I wasn't stupid. It taught me that when something felt important to me I can accomplish it. For the first time I had confidence in myself.  

With school I felt like the work didn't matter, that it would start and end with school. At North Star I started to feel like the things I was working on weren't contained, that they could spread out into the world and that I could actually be somebody - I could dream big. I started to think of my music not as a hobby but as something I could really go places with. I was bursting with motivation. 

I had the confidence to go out and get a job, something I thought I wouldn't be able to do. I could go to an interview and feel confident in myself, know that I could do the job and that I should be there.  

I would much rather have this attitude, this confidence in myself, than any high school diploma.

Paul SullivanCurrent Member

It’s not enough to tell kids that we want them to be self-motivated, or that we want them to value learning for its own sake, if the structure of their lives and their educations is actually communicating the opposite message. Voluntary (rather than compulsory) classes, the ability to choose what one studies rather than following a required curriculum, and the absence of tests and grades all contribute to a structure that supports and facilitates intrinsic motivation and self-directed learning.

5. Structure communicates as powerfully as words - and

often more powerfully.

Kizzi CollierCurrent Member

(#’s 1 through 4 were published previously, #7 will be published in the next issue)

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When I was in school, most teachers had the same way of teaching. They would make us sit up straight, face forward, legs underneath the desk. No talking, no humming. No noise at all.

Then for the next 40 minutes or so, they would talk at me. About math or science or world history, or any other subject I was there to learn.

Even with the subjects I liked (music and art), the lessons were so boring and generic that all the information went in one ear and out the other. When a test came along I memorized enough material to pass, but nothing more.

It was worse with the subjects I had trouble in. I struggled to pay attention and when I did I could barely comprehend what was being said. If I asked for help, I would only get a re-explanation and an odd look.

So I spent most of my time miserable, going from class to class, doing all the homework, and still not retaining anything. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I began to lash out. I stopped doing my work. I mouthed off to teachers and got quite a few detentions.

My mom was so worried about my education that she looked into North Star, even though it was out of the state, and two hours away.

When I visited North Star, I was a little wary, but after talking to some of the members, I saw that it wasn't the same as school. North Star was a comfortable place where I had a say in my education. I became a member a month later.

At North Star I am able to decide which classes to take and how I want to spend my time.

When I'm in a class, rather than goofing off, my full attention is there and I can actually take in what I'm being told. I'm there willingly, and so is the teacher. So I can see the teacher not as an enemy but as a real friend. When I don't understand something I know I can ask and that the teacher will really try and help me. Because of these things I'm able to learn things easily that I never could in school.

Since joining North Star, not only has learning been easier, but life has been far less complicated.

In a North Star-sponsored talk years ago, psychologist Eduardo Bustamante used the phrase “make-sure parenting” to describe the way adults can get caught up in trying to ensure that their kids do what they’re supposed to do:

brush teeth, get to the school bus, do homework, and on and on until bedtime. The parents in the audience laughed with such recognition that it was obvious Eduardo had hit a nerve.

As I listened, it occurred to me that we might also speak of “make-sure education.” We design educational approaches to try to make sure students learn this or that, but the effort often doesn’t work, and all the making sure can end up getting in the way of our relationships with young people.  

A lot of “making sure” efforts happen because young people don’t really want to do the thing we’re trying to get them to do, or don’t see a genuine need for doing it.  So sorting that out is a huge and important task, one that often involves questioning what is truly essential. With some reflection, it could turn out that brushing teeth is still necessary but homework and school buses may not be.

But then what?  How do we help young people do the things they actually believe are important to do?  If we’re not focused on making sure, should we just step back and do nothing?

In my experience, if teenagers aren’t doing something that on some level they truly do want to do, it’s often because the endeavor doesn’t yet feel quite possible.  The obstacle can be as simple as “I don’t know how I’d get there” or as emotionally complicated as “I don’t see myself as the kind of person who does that” or “I kind of want that but I get anxious when I picture myself doing it.”

So I often think of what I do with young people as helping to make various things feel possible.  It may be about making an initial phone call to set up an internship.  It may be about finding a new approach for someone who never saw himself as a writer.  It may be about making space to deal with anxiety or other internal obstacles.  Whatever the specifics, it feels like weeding the garden rather than trying to cajole the plants to grow.

Susannah Shefferstaff

Most of the time, we can’t truly make sure that young people learn any particular thing – learning just doesn’t work that way. A group of adults can decide that all fifth graders should learn fractions, but when it comes to each individual child’s genuine understanding and retention, we can’t actually make it happen or guarantee that it will happen. As adults, what we can do, however, is try to make things possible for young people – provide access, offer opportunity, figure out what kind of support will be most helpful, do whatever we can to help navigate the challenges and problems that arise.

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6. As adults working with young children, we should mostly strive to “make

possible” rather than “make sure.”

We have been highlighting North Star’s 7 Guiding Principles by inviting community members to reflect on what they mean to them and how they have impacted their lives. To read the complete list of principles, go here: http://northstarteens.org/guiding-principles/. In our next issue we will be featuring principle 7. If you are moved to write about it, please contact Jonah at jonahmeyer@gmail.com.

Sylvia Simmonscurrent member

HELP SUPPORT NORTH STARWe’ve been changing lives for 15 years! We are committed to our policy of making membership available to any family, regardless of their ability to pay our full fee.  North Star receives NO state or institutional funding.  Individual donations help keep our doors open to any interested family.

North Star is a project of Learning Alternatives, Inc., a non-profit corporation under Massachusetts Law and Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code.

Contributions to North Star are tax-deductible.

Thank you for your generosity!

Please mail your donation to:North Star 135 Russell St.Hadley, MA 01035

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This newsletter was put together and made to look beautiful by intern Jonah Meyer and Outreach Director Sarah Reid.

Our 7th annual Celebration of Self-Directed Learning

brunch is coming up!

April 10 at 11amTo make sure you get an invitation, email

Sarah at sarah@northstarteens.org