Ode to Florida

Before moving to Florida I formed a mental image of the state based on the satirical

novels of Carl Hiaasen, an investigative reporter for the Miami Herald, whose tales of

greed, corruption, and flimflammery, though endlessly entertaining, offered little incen-

tive to live here. Having become a Floridian for most of the year, I have no difficulty

finding support for Hiaasen’s perspective: by many measures the Florida state legisla-

ture is the most corrupt in the country, while the continual extension of concealed weap-

ons regulations creates a certain unease. (I just saw a bumper stick that read: “Keep

honking. I’m reloading.”)

But while I continue to laugh at Carl Hiaasen’s descriptions, my Florida presents a ra-

ther different picture, which I’d like to share. Our immediate surroundings here in

Moody River Estates sustain dozens of varieties of birds and constantly blooming trees

and flowers (including fragrant orchid trees and five miles of royal palms down Mac-

Gregor Boulevard). Lately cardinals have returned to the area, along with mocking-

birds, unfamiliar to Canadians but a source of daily joy for me with their unending

songs. At Cape Coral Beach we enjoy the sight of green parrots, initially escaped pets

and now firmly established as a colony.

The state of Florida issues a variety of license plates with environmental themes pro-

claiming a desire to save the dolphins, the sea turtles, the panther, the manatee and the

coral reefs. I was surprised to see that the generic wish—conserve the wildlife—bore the

likeness of a bear. I didn’t know there even were bears in Florida.

Then this news item turned up on Next Door, the electronic community bulletin board,

describing an event in our immediate neighborhood.

Neighbors in a community off Hancock Bridge Parkway in North Fort Myers had quite

a sight Wednesday morning. A 150-pound male bear, believed to be the same bear that

swam in a Cape Coral canal Monday, made his way through Lee County neighbor-

hoods near North Fort Myers High School. Neighbors reported seeing the bear near a

canal and then captured cell phone video of it hanging out in a tree. We were there as

wildlife officers tried to corner the bear after tracking it for about an hour. Wildlife

officers said they didn't tranquilize the bear because he was too close to the water and

they didn't want him to fall in and drown. The bear eventually took off into the woods,

but returned to the area a few hours later. Wildlife officials were back on its trail after

another sighting in the area of Hidden Acres Circle, near North Fort Myers. "He scur-

ried along the fence line here. Then jumped over the fence, sort of climbed up that tree.

Then he let himself down with his front paws and took off. That was the last we saw of

him," said resident Clifton Fischlein. But that wasn't the last time the bear was seen.

After a shortcut through the woods, it crossed over Pondella Road and took off. Head-

ing north, the bear crossed US-41 in the middle of the day. The bear as then caught

rummaging through neighborhoods near Walmart, where it was finally cornered on

Evergreen Road. It was safely tranquilized and caught to be relocated.

Many churches (including ones where I’ve worked) seek to bolster their membership by

making the experience of worship—particularly the music—as similar as possible to the

congregation’s daily life outside the church. Trinity-by-the-Cove, by contrast, considers

church to be an experience set apart from secular life. Byrd motets, Bach fugues, and a

vast repertoire of hymns (including one last Sunday in 5/4 time) bring me delight by

emphasizing the differences between sanctuary and mall. In the interval between the

services one minister presents weekly lectures on the history of Christianity. On Thurs-

day mornings a second minister leads Bible study for men and a third leads Bible study

for women. (And this doesn’t even count the head minister.)

The weakness of the Canadian dollar challenges us to look for bargains. Happily, they

abound. For example, we find portions served in American restaurants to be twice what

we would normally consume, so we habitually cut the portion in half and take the rest

home. But wait, it gets better. One of our favorite restaurants, Iguana Mia, offers

BOGO (buy one, get one) on Wednesdays, so a single order yields four dinners. (Even

the Nissan auto dealership offers BOGO on its cars, which blows my mind.)

We favor three different beaches depending upon the circumstances: Cape Coral for

quickness, Ft. Myers to include Maisie, and Sanibel Island for shells and overall beauty.

(The last photo isn’t mine but I wanted to show you the abundance in variety and color.)

We generally include dolphin tours for visitors, and while I’ve given up trying to photo-

graph the graceful mammals, I never tire of seeing them.

The monthly Music Walk closes downtown streets and offers a variety of bands, all at

deafening levels of amplification. I tend to favor the outdoor bluegrass festival, the

Greek festival, and guitarists in local restaurants. Last spring the art museum offered a

concert of John Cage’s music and soloists from the symphony performed L’Histoire du

soldat. Trinity-by-the-Cove recently hosted a performance of the Bach Goldberg Varia-

tions.

With driving at night becoming increasingly less fun, I’m delighted to live six minutes

from the Florida Repertory Theater, where we recently saw Shear Madness, one of the

funniest shows in memory. Theater Conspiracy, only slightly further away, offered

Thirty-Three Variations--an entire play devoted to the Beethoven Diabelli Variations—

with an onstage pianist performing excerpts from the work. My favorite theatrical expe-

rience comes at the end of April when Florida Rep’s PlayLab offers readings of five new

plays. Professional actors in a small space, unencumbered by costumes, props or scen-

ery, create some of the most compelling theatrical experiences I have ever enjoyed.

The Fort Myers Regional Library supports my current project, a book on film, by bring-

ing in books on interlibrary loan. Picking up the latest crop allows me to enjoy the scene

at Cornog Plaza Square, where people work at laptops under the trees (every light pole

provides an electrical outlet), women practice their dulcimers, kids bang on chimes and

drums, and chess enthusiasts can play on an oversized board.

Patti has grown to be a rather accomplished painter as well as starting a business as a

spiritual coach (see spiritualcoaching.ca), both in person and by telephone, legal now

that she has a green card.

And I haven’t even gotten to the llamas that live next door or the turtles and alligators in

the ponds or the monthly Art Walk downtown. Count me as a happy camper.