Chapter One

Nathan Becker looked out over the Inner Harbor on an early Saturday morning. It wasnt his normal practice to be at the Bay boardwalk at the crack of dawn, especially on a weekend, but he had to keep up his physical activity. After an injury earlier that year had put him out of commission, the doctor had told him that he more than likely would not be able to return to the job he loved so much. He had torn tendons and had broken an ankle on that day. He had heard a child in a burning home and had just started in the door when it was blown from its hinges, sending him through the air and landing on the ground less than three feet from the engine. It had been a difficult and long road to recovery. Still, he hadnt been able to run the ladders, and the doctor had told him not to push his luck, he was doing more now than he had thought possible. It had taken him two months before he could walk without a limp and another month before the doctor would release him to light duty. Of course, when it came to holding him down it wasnt an easy task. His captain had to remind him constantly to slow down. Nathan was part of a fire and rescue team. Not being able to do his job left him feeling useless. When he couldnt do his job the way, he felt, was to the full specifications; it was a difficult pill to swallow. For now, he was on the sidelines and was only able to help when the victims were rescued from the rubble.Today he sat on the bench and looked out onto the horizon. The morning had a beautiful sunrise, something he had rarely taken advantage of when he was at full speed. He had taken a lot for granted and had vowed not to do it again. He had spent years, taking people from twisted wrecks and burning buildings. Most survived and there had always been the few runs he had hated, the ones that ended up being a recovery instead of a rescue. It was the worst part of his job. The ones he hated most was when it came to pulling a child from a lake or pool that he was unable to revive. He had moments that made it seem worthwhile, like pulling the Jensen couple from the wreckage of a five car pileup. If the department hadnt been there, the couple would have surely died. They were on their way to a much-deserved holiday. After thirty-five years of marriage, Harold had saved enough to take his wife on her dream vacation for a second honeymoon. The car they were trapped in, caught fire shortly after they were pulled out. Beatrice had suffered minor cuts and bruises, but had been trapped when the dash of the car had been forced down onto her legs. It could have broken her legs or crippled her for life. It had been by the grace of God that either of them had survived. The gulls danced around the sailboats and charters as he sat there recovering from his semi run. The midsummer morning air was already starting to beat down its heat. Even if he hadnt been running, his clothes would have been sticking to his skin. From where he sat, it looked as though the perfect set for the day would soon be breaking into some short-lived storms or showers. The clouds rolled in behind the bright sun, and the water was rough turning up the reed at the shore into a bent state. The smell of a summer rain came in on off the bay and the roll of distant thunder could be heard. Rising from his seat on the city bench, he made his way to the public parking garage and started toward his vehicle when the sky suddenly opened up. When he was finally secured in his car the memory of a beautiful young woman he had known long ago had popped into his head. It had been another time and place when they had been caught in the rain and she ran along the bay ahead of him, looking back and laughing as she did. Thinking of her had always brought a smile to his face, followed by an emptiness that he had never been able to replace. The guys had passed him off as a lost cause when it came to the fairer sex, but he knew himself there had been only one woman for him and the opportunity had long passed him by. It had been seven years since he had seen her on a night he would not soon forget. She had told him that night that she wasnt sure what she was doing and that it had hurt her to walk away. It hadnt been easy for him. After a two year courtship and a promise of a life lived together, it had not happened. At first he had been hurt, but after months of not talking to her it had turned to anger. He spent his time wrapped up in his daily life lying to himself that she didnt matter. He had never had another serious relationship from the last time he had seen her. He always seemed to go back comparing them all to her. No one could live up to the standards he had laid down. It created a place that was safe for him, building walls that could never be torn down.Shaking his head and turning on the stereo, he listened to the tunes that floated through the surround system in his late model truck. The windshield wiper slapped against the window, keeping perfect time. The day wasnt going to be a total loss he always had his day planned. He was a bit of a neat freak and had planned on cleaning the few hours he had left before his shift started, then taking Crash for his walk in the park he loved so much. Crash, was a big loveable goon, that would take too most people, if given the chance. He had been a rescue dog in more ways than one. Crash, had been found at the scene of an accident as a puppy belonging to a family that had perished in a one car crash off the beaten path. He had been found sitting with the man who had owned him, keeping watch. In the end, Crash had been the only survivor and had been taken home by Engine 1812 as their mascot. When his comrades found that Crash was good at finding things they trained him to help with search and rescue. When he was a young pup, Crash most generally was found at the foot of Nathans bunk at the station and was adopted by him shortly after. He spent a lot of time with Crash, teaching him rescue and running obstacles. His canine buddy, seemed to love every minute of it. All it had to do was stop raining.At half past five Nathan walked into Station 1812. Nothing out of the ordinary, same crew with the same jokes and tricks the pulled on everyone. It wouldnt be long before a rookie would join the crew and they would find a whole new line of jokes and pranks to pull on the new guy. Things never changed. The Captain would occasionally get in on it which made them worse, but Captain Ted Marsh was more like them than a Captain of a ship. When it came to business he was quick and decisive expecting those in his charge to follow suit. With Crash following in behind him, the big baby of a German Shepard jumped on the couch and made himself at home. Jerry greeted Crash as usual and rubbed his hands across his head and flopped his ears as he did. How you doin ole buddy? You keeping him on the right path? Crash wagged his tail and barked as if he knew exactly what he was saying. Whats for supper, Im starved?You might want to think that one over Becker. Slider, is doing the cooking tonight.Thats tonight? Didnt he just have duty last Saturday?Yeah, unfortunately it didnt put one of us in the grave so he decided he would try again.Nathan couldnt help himself, he had to laugh. I dont think its his turn. Its my turn and I am going to take it. At least we wont wonder about the three alarm heartburn later tonight.Hey man, you got it. Ill take your mean cooking anytime over Sliders.That hurts. Mocking them, Bryson Craig walked in and placed the bags of groceries on the counter, then turning and acting in his exaggerated manner of a man stabbing himself in the heart. You know how well I like to cook too.Yeah, and you know how much we like to live. The fire station roared as the men all laughed at Craigs expense.The station came to life as the alarm sounded through it. The call numbers alerted them that there was someone in need and the men scrambled to grab their gear and board the mighty roaring engine. Station 1812, Rescue 21, Engine 43, Ladder 71, be advised. Structure fire, occupants trapped, 2010 Out Brook, cross street Harbor, Time out, 1822.Captain Marsh acknowledged as the others jumped into action, and Nathan along with Crash found their way into rescue with Todd Bacon. Todd was a fifteen year veteran of the force and was twenty years his senior. Nathan had well respected the man in that he never expected him to do anything more than what he was willing to do himself. They had become fast friends while Todd had taken Nathan the day he entered and taught him the ropes. Not that they hadnt had their tiffs, there were times when they didnt see eye to eye in a situation but they always came to an understanding. The sirens blasted as the convoy of trucks and rescue crews chased down the beast, an entity in itself that reaches out and inhales its victims without a warning. Its arms wrap around them until its grasp is so tight that it thrills at the panic in their faces and laughs at their distress. Nathan had seen too many taken from its grips and the ones that were unable to be obtained from its power. Either way they were touched for life by its clutches. Must be a big one Becker, be careful.Nathan grinned at his partner, It wouldnt dare come after me, and I know how it thinks. Im the chaser you know that.Yeah, I dont think it knows that. Dont be charging in there Dynamite. You havent been released yet, let me do it if it has to be done hero. The truck slowed to a stop at the corner and Nathan could see the flames licking from the third story of the apartment house. The clatter of a third story window automatically caught his attention as he heard a woman scream seeing her waving from the ledge. Looking to each side of the room in which she stood the rooms were smoke filled and the orange and red blaze was evident. Crash, circled Nathan encouraging him to act. Sorry boy not this time, this belongs to Todd. Pulling the equipment from the truck he set up for the woman and whomever else they pulled from the blaze. Crash sat back on his haunches and watched as Todd entered the building followed by the crew of Rescue 21. The sound of the collapsing beams snapped and popped as he waited for Todd and the other rescue team to appear. Sometimes minutes felt like hours as he stood on the sideline and it killed him that he wasnt in on the action.The crew worked around him and was in full force as Todd appeared with the first and he was hoping the only one that had been trapped. The woman coughed and sputtered as she tried to speak. Todd assisted her down to the ground and Crash sat at the womans head and looked down on her as if he were protecting her. Nathan slipped an oxygen mask on her, and she started to relax. Miss, Im going to give you a little extra oxygen, try to take some slow, deep breaths. Connecting with the local hospital, Todd filled them in on the patients condition as the ambulance was dispatched. My name is Nathan and this is Todd, he motioned to his partner, Was anyone else with you?The woman nodded no, leaving Nathan in relief as the third story started to collapse in on itself. We are going to prepare you for transport to Jefferson Memorial Hospital. Its just a precaution. Without opening her eyes the woman again nodded and let him do what he had to. He found it strange that she wasnt panicky. Miss, can you hear me?She shook her head yes and remained with her eyes closed. Her clothes were covered with dark soot and her face was smudged. Taking a closer look Nathan lifted the oxygen mask and looked down on her. Miss, Im going to take a look at you. I just want to make sure you can breathe well. Taking his penlight he inspected her face, nose and throat, finding soot and swollen air passages. It wasnt long before she started to cough harshly and her breathing became rapid. In a matter of seconds the young womans smudged pale face became ashen blue. Todd, he had called with urgency. We need to get an airway in her, now. The high pitched breathing coming from his victim was loud signaling distress and a rush of adrenaline hit him. The young woman was deteriorating rapidly before him quickly. If they couldnt reverse her condition she would die in front of him. Before he could get her placed for an airway she had gone unconscious on him. While Todd had positioned an I.V. access and medicated her Nathan reached for the airway and placed it precisely and secured it in place. As he pumped oxygen into her lifeless body her color changed from a deep purple to a rose pink from below the soot and ash that surrounded her eyes, nose and mouth. He took a deep breath as the rush started to subside. Miss, youre going to be fine. Ill be riding along with you to Jefferson Memorial. You all right Dynamite? Todd looked at Nathan with a sincere concern as Nathan shook his head yes.Im fine. I never get used to it.Know what you mean. See you at Jefferson.Closing them in the squad, Todd tapped the door letting them know the door was secure, and the ambulance along with Nathan, the young woman, and the Medic was soon on their way. Jefferson was approximately ten minutes away from the scene so the ride would be short and hopefully uneventful. For that Nathan was grateful. The adrenaline that rushed through his body had left him drained. He continued on with his assessment of the young woman as she lay there in a medicated sleep. At least one of them was comfortable for the moment. There was no better feeling than saving a life that should have been lost. He wouldnt trade what he did for anything, but at times it had become taxing. This young woman was lucky to be taking a breath. Looking down on her he could see a sweet peace, rest upon her. It had flooded him as he watched the heart monitor as it reflect a green streak of her heart beat. Scenes of a young woman from his past laughing and kissing him on the cheek on his first day of rescue. Hey handsome, you look like the hero of the day. She playfully tapped him on the chest. Looking sharp hotshot. I was always the sucker for a man in uniform. As tired as he was from his twenty-four hour day at the station, he had gone to see her before he headed home. Picking her up, he swung her around and she had thrown her head back and giggled. That had been eight years ago at least and he still thought of her every day.The doors opened and the woman was whisked off to the first trauma room. Nathan gave report to the physician as to what had happened at the scene and on the trip there. The care of the young woman, was taken over quickly by the trauma team. Standing outside the door, he leaned his head against the wall. The coolness of the emergency room felt good against his hot skin. He had been so busy with her that he hadnt listened to the warning signs of his own body. His body collapsed like an accordion to the floor. The next thing he heard was the voice of Todd calling his name.Dynamite, hey, its time to wake up.Nathans eyes fluttered open to a blurry field of white before he could make out the face of his partner. Looking around, he found himself flat on his back in a hospital room. Raising his hand to push his hair from his face, he discovered not only a bandage on his cheek but an I.V. in his arm. He let out an exhausted breath and blinked his eyes before he focused again on his partner. What happened?Heat, dehydration, exhaustion. Take your pick. I thought you looked a little pale at the scene. Have you been taking care of yourself Dynamite?Yes, of course.According to the doctor you my friend, are suffering from heat exhaustion, dehydration and just plain not sleeping. Whats going on Becker? You still pining over that woman?Nathan didnt answer, he just let out an irritated growl.You have to let her go. Shes been gone for seven years, shes not coming back. Nathan knew what he was saying was true, he just didnt want to hear it. Allison had left years ago and had no intention as far as he knew of ever coming back. He hoped and prayed, but nothing had changed. He hadnt gotten a single letter or a call since she left. Allison had tossed everything they had away. He hadnt blamed her for anything, although he should have, she was the one that had walked away for no apparent reason. She loved him, he knew she had, no one could fake that kind of affection for someone else. He had known her since they were children playing together from the time they were in preschool. When they were five, they had been at her aunts wedding hiding under the cake table, laughing at each other as they feed each other a piece a cake that neither of them were to have. Through the years they had spent memorable moments together. He had seen her at her worst, and she in turn had seen him as he was many times over. Nathan didnt offer a reply to his partner, he merely shook his head in acknowledgement. If youre feeling better Ill see about getting you out of here.Shaking his head once again and signaling with his hand, whatever, he tried to drive her from his mind briefly. Picking up his hand, he ran it through his already disheveled hair. Yeah,.. Yeah. Lets go.Todd walked out of the room in search of someone to release his partner home. Allisons perfect green, catlike eyes came to his mind. He remembered how she made him feel each time he entered a room. He never got used to how overwhelmed he became at her entrance once he discovered girls were more than just one of the guys. The first formal date they had gone one he was fourteen. As many years as he had known her as a friend it was difficult to ask her to go somewhere with him in a different capacity.He was awkward as a teenager with braces, clumsy and unsure of himself, full of testosterone, and that wasnt helping his situation. He never felt himself as a catch. He was a technical a geek, and sports freak, even though at the time, he played very little. He spent time trying to come up with new computer programs and games or burying himself in a book. Not your normal thriller or history, he liked science and technology.When he finally decided he was going to ask her out, he worried himself to death for a week. He kept running it through his mind wondering if she would reject him. The week before the junior high spring dance he had asked her if she was going. In her soft tone she answered, The person I really want to go with hasnt asked me yet. She looked down at her feet, blushed and looked back up at him through her long lashes. He had almost talked himself out of asking her when she looked at him and grinned. He had been rewarded with her beautiful smile the night he had gone to pick her up. Nervous, was not the word he could describe what he had felt. He felt like he had a Pavilion of butterflies in his stomach as her father had called her down stairs.Waiting at the foot of the stairs, he had watched her in awe. Where a tomboy of sorts, stood a beautiful young woman. She stood for a moment before she decided to descend the staircase. Her very grown-up look was conservative in respect to most would be wearing. Striking her at the knee, her emerald green shade of her dress matched her eyes perfectly taking his breath from him. The Marilyn Monroe look from The Seven Year Itch, was eye catching, but he could tell that she didnt seem to be comfortable with the low cut to her dress, or her long legs.With her Lavender bouquet she had requested matched the single sprig in his jacket. It looked more like a purple to weed to him, but if it had made her happy, it was all good to him. Taking her hand and wrapping it through the crook of his arm, he had escorted her to the dance. It was a night he would never forget.Mr. Becker?Breaking him from his past Nathan looked up to find a brown eyed angel standing over him. For a moment he was speechless, then he gathered his senses.Feeling better?Yes. Nathan had been dumbstruck for a moment. He had been here hundreds of times over the last seven years and had never seen her before.My name is Constance, Ill be taking care of getting you discharged. She smiled at him and her brown eyes gleamed as she removed his I.V. from his arm. You look a lot better than yesterday evening.Ive been here since yesterday evening?She giggled slightly as she continued with her duties. Yes, Mr. Becker. I took care of you last evening when you brought in the fire victim.He swallowed hard as he thought of what they must have done to him and for him since he collapsed the night before. You? Looking down, he finally figured it out. He was no longer in uniform, but the hospitals famous air-conditioned night wear. Great, she most certainly had seen him in,.. Um his most vulnerable state. You, took care of me?Yes, is there something wrong Mr. Becker?He hated to admit it, but he didnt especially like the idea of a woman, especially a beautiful, and strange woman, seeing what God himself had given him. It wasnt that he was ashamed of his body, he was a private person and knowing that more than likely she had seen him completely, well.. that wasnt exactly comforting. No,.. no its fine.Ill leave you to get dressed, your clothes are in the closet to the left of you.She smiled and walked out as he drew the covers a little closer to him. Waiting until she was completely out of sight, he got up and quickly dressed in his uniform. He sat on the edge of the bed and tied his boots thinking about the night before. He remembered bringing in the woman, what had happened after that? He was startled by a knock on the door and looked over his shoulder. Come in, he had called. Are you ready to go Mr. Becker?Yes. His answer sounded a little sharper than what he had intended, but the smile on Constance face never moved.You need to do a follow up with your primary doctor in a week, just to make sure everything is all right. There arent any medications or prescriptions, but Dr. Kirkland did say for you to take it easy. He wrote you off for a couple of days, you can return to light duty on Thursday.Nathan couldnt help himself as he watched her go through all the instructions. Her smile continued and she blushed on occasion. Constance, if you dont mind, I understand all this, since I am a fireman and medic, all I really want to know is if it would be possible to take you out? I would like to take you out for a coffee or a movie. Constance didnt answer immediately and it had made him nervous. He had taken a chance, one of the few he had ever taken. He had gone out with one, maximum two women since he had been with Allison. Its okay if you dont want to -Constance smiled at him and handed him his paperwork. Eight tonight all right with you? I dont get off work until seven.When she had agreed he was stunned. Sure, Ill meet you at the front entrance. Walking from the room he was met by his partner. Nathan smiled to himself, but hadnt said a word to Todd as they walked down the hallway and out the front entrance. Whats got you by the tail Dynamite?I, my friend, have a date.Todd slapped him on the shoulder and chuckled. Only you could take an overnight hospital stay and make a date out of it. Pretty girl. She took good care of you. I dont think she left your room much. You pretty much intoxicated her.Im not sure about that. I do think she has seen a whole other side of me that most women have never seen.Todd laughed to the point that he cried. Getting in the truck, Todd started off toward 1812 to pick up Crash and take them both home. Walking in the door, he gave a quick goodbye to his partner and headed to the shower. Trying to erase the idea that the woman he had asked out, more than likely had seen him in his birthday suit, he turned on the water allowing it to have time to get to the preferred temperature. Crash, had followed close behind him and lay on the floor as he stepped into the shower. The hot water ran over his body in a cascade. Standing there with his face turned down he ran his hand through his hair. The only touch of a woman that had set him on fire, was Allison. He snorted as she had come to play in his mind again. She had never fully left him. Her memory was like an addiction, he couldnt get her out of his head or heart. Over the few years they had dated and were serious, and a lifetime of knowing her, he just hadnt been able to let her go. He had tried to move on, but the young women that he had dated he felt deserved better than being second to her.Looking into the steamed mirror, he wiped the condensation from it. What appeared before him was a man that had been beaten down. He knew what Todd had said was true. He had waited for Allison to come back, to return to him and she hadnt so much as written to him. It had long passed the time to move on. Tonight he started new, whether Constance was the one or not he had to make a start somewhere. He ran his hands through his hair and shaved before he looked at the clock on the wall. Three Oclock, he had time to do whatever he wanted. Stretching out on his bed and listening to the television sounded good to him. Maybe a ball game, an old movie, something to occupy him for a few hours. He lay his long frame over the spacious king bed and set the clock, just in case he had gone to sleep he wouldnt be late. When he flipped the television on Crash jumped up on the edge and lay down with his head across his abdomen. The drone of the television played on as he lay there with the memories that remained of her.This had to stop, he was moving on. Constance was going to be a new beginning. She may not be the one that he would spend the rest of his life with, but she was a start onto another page in his life. He had told Allison in life you had to run toward happiness, sometimes it didnt just find you. Taking a chance meant that you could find something wonderful, but if you never tried you may never know.Allisons laugh was contagious as she giggled. The auburn pigtailed girl from his childhood had opened her window on a summer night. At the age of eight he was crawling in her window. Many nights they had camped out in her room telling stories and making up imaginary lives of what they would be when they grew up. That one particular night had been anything but a happy one. At that time of his life his mother had left his father and he had turned to drinking heavily leaving him angry all the time. He was in his fathers way most times rather he knew it or not. He would get angry for no apparent reason other than from being intoxicated. He had resulted in hitting Nathan that night, blaming him for his mothers indiscretions. It had been especially hard for them both. His mother hadnt given indication that she had been unhappy in her marriage. She had abandoned both of them never making any contact, it was if she had never existed. George Becker had normally been a good and God fearing man, but he had snapped when his wife had taken off with a complete stranger never really leaving an explanation as to why. That summer he ended up in her room most nights. She would leave her window unlocked and partially open so that all he had to do was make his way from his house across the street and through the backyard gate. He was sure her parents had never caught on or they would have turned his father in. Maybe that would have been a good thing. It had been a struggle all his life from then on. Allison had been the only stable part in his life and she had left.He could see her as he climbed in the window, her beautiful Auburn hair pulled up into a ponytail as she lay there asleep. Allie, he whispered. Allie, can I stay here? Her eyes fluttered as she looked upon him and sighed sweetly. Pulling back the covers she had motioned for him to get in. Nathan, you okay?Im okay Allie, go back to sleep. He curled her up into his arms as she snuggled her head into the crook of his neck. There was nothing better and more comforting than being there with her. The night closed in on them and he was content. Her hand landed softly across his chest as he tried to go to sleep that night and knew he would never forget her. That summer had changed his life and she was a big part of his life. He still saw her as nothing more than a wonderful friend at the time, still too young to realize he was in love with her from the time he met her.As always dawn came, and as per their normal she would awaken him so that he could leave and return to his home before her parents discovered he was there and had spent the night with her. Nathan, she shook him slightly, Nathan, time to wake up.Nathan had awakened from his much needed rest, but felt the disappointment that she was not there beside him. Crash, had remained with his head across his abdomen sleeping soundly. Looking at the clock it was six in the evening. Time to get up, by the time he took Crash out and his drive time to Jefferson Memorial, Constance would be getting off work.He rubbed his face trying to awaken himself a little more. Giving Crash a little attention he soon sit on the edge of the bed hoping that the night would be the first of a new beginning for him. Well, boy, its time to find out what Im made of. Crash looked up at him with his tongue out, if dogs could smile, he certainly was and edging him along.Looking back as he picked up his keys he left with one last peek at his faithful companion. Take care of the place boy, I left food for you in the kitchen. Crash barked and wagged his tail as Nathan shut the door behind him. He hadnt noticed he had been all that nervous until he went to unlock the door to his black and red beast of a truck. His seventies model truck had been pretty beaten up but he had restored it to its original look. He huffed slightly and turned the key. Taking a deep breath, he tuned the radio and started down the road. What I was thinking, I should have never asked out Constance. The thought kept turning in his head. Ive tried this before, it doesnt work. I end up hurting the other person because I cant let go. In turn end up hurting myself and reliving what happened before. The sun was lowering in the sky with the soft hues of blues hanging over the horizon. It wouldnt take long to get to Jefferson Memorial, he had better take what time he had left to pull himself together. He had initiated this he had to finish it. She deserved to be treated well, after all she hadnt asked for the date he had asked her. It was time to start moving on and he knew it. He had to give it a chance. Even if it killed him. He had taken a step in the right direction and had asked a lovely girl out and she had been gracious enough to accept. She couldnt know how screwed up, he really was. He was still in love with a woman that had left him years ago and he still held on to that little bit of hope that she would walk back into his life.