Focusing & Mediation Reflection

8/9/2019 Focusing & Mediation Reflection

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For students seriously studying the Dharma, you can ...find no better preparation than to learn Focusing.

-Roshi Robert Aitkins

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I have just come from a 15 day silent Vipassana retreat. I believe that through thepractice of integrating Focusing and meditation at appropriate times I experienceda deeper understanding of the relationship between my mindbody and my innerobserver and my bodys wisdom in how it and when offers up insights based ondirect experience.

This account is a simple reflection on my practice, at this point in time, in aparticular context. In it, I am a scribe; writing my bodys experience of a livingmoment. So in the writing, which implies a sense of permanence because of itsphysicality, something in me wishes to exclaim: this too is changeable and whoknows what my next moment will bring. I will briefly outline Vipassana mediationand then go on to describe my meditation practice and how it evolved.

Meditation is the systematic training of attention. Attention is the deliberateplacing of awareness on its object and awareness is the knowing of the object.1

Buddhist meditation practices fall into 2 broad categories or qualities of attention-Samatha and Vipassana. Samatha means serenity or calm and this is developed

through sustained concentration (Samadhi) on a single, primary object. The breathis one of the most common primary objects as it is easy to find and come back to ifthe mind wanders. If another object of attention arises and prevails, and this canbe body sensations, feelings, thoughts, sounds, visual stimulus etc., then one shiftsones attention there. When attention wanders again the meditator comes back tothe breath or whatever primary object they had originally chosen.

Vipassana means insight or seeing clearly. The cornerstone of Vipassana issustained mindfulness; a quality of mind that notices what is present, withoutjudgement. Mindfulness is an aware, balanced acceptance of presentexperience2 as it is just nowand just nowand just now. There are 4 foundationsof mindfulness in Vipassana practice: mindfulness of body (sensations), mindfulness

of feeling tones (pleasant, unpleasant, neutral), mindfulness of the mental andemotional formations (thoughts, desires, aversions) and mindfulness of theDhamma or teachings or broader patterns of experience. We mentally note eachexperience so as to place our awareness on it. We might note the breath: in-out;rising-falling. We might note sensations; itching, stretching, aching. We mightnote our feelings: pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. We might note our thoughts;planning, imagining, remembering, intending. This practice is about knowing whatyou are doing, when you are doing it, in each moment. If you are planning, youknow you are planning. If you are recollecting, you know you are recollecting. Ifyou are walking, you know you are walking. Essentially, it doesnt matter what orwhere the object of attention is-what matters is the continuity of attention over

time.


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With mindfulness we become aware of the changing nature of our experiences, thearising and passing away of the data that contributes to the experience, an arisingand passing away of each reaction to the experience, the arising and passing awayof the meanings we make of the experience. We notice that nothing is remains thesame and we may begin to notice our repetitive habits, preferences, inclinationsand reactions. We may start to see our made-selves with a certain clarity andcompassion; clarity that comes from sustained objective attention and compassionthat comes from seeing the frailty of our stories, beliefs, opinions, discomforts,pain, joys, desires, and attachments, that all arise and pass away; that are subjectto impermanence.

My Vipassana meditation practice has been something of a paradox. I startedmeditating in order to both see myself more clearly and objectively, to be lesscaught up in myself. Paradoxically, the project all about me needed anotherme the observer so, at this point in time, I seem to have more of me not less.It seems I have entered into a new inner relationship which has its own particularintrapersonal dynamic.

The next paradox was that in order see me as part of a bigger picture; to get asense of perspective, I had to be prepared to get closer in. A tug of war ensuedbetween closer attention and the distance, a distance that the observermaintained in order to remain mindful and closer in to investigate experience.Ultimately and over time, this tug of war led to a kind of constructed objective-coolness with whatever was arising. In that objective coolness was some relieffrom my identifications. I could note away; planning, planning, planning,remembering, remembering, remembering. I was on the meditation object andseeing consistent patterns but Im not sure I was becoming any the wiser about whyso much planning, why was this memory so persistent, why did this particularquality of restlessness arise so consistently? As for the distance; I wondered if a

different approach might yield more insights; if I could find a way to be morewith these experiences and yet not get caught up in or identified with them. Andthen I chanced upon Focusing. Here, I found a way to be with all of myself as itarose each moment. I found ways to interact with something there, a bodily-feltsense that explicated my experience, a bodily knowing that was more than myconscious mind, more than feelings, emotions, sensations and past experience andit included them.

Focusing is a technique created by Gene Gendlin, a philosopher and psychologist.Focusing is a mode of inward bodily attention. Focusing occurs exactly at theinterface of body-mind. It consists of specific steps for getting a body sense of how

you are in a particular life situation. The body sense is unclear and vague at first,but if you pay attention it will open up into words or images and you experience afelt shift in your body. In the process of Focusing, one experiences a physicalchange in the way that the issue is being lived in the body. We learn to live in adeeper place than just thoughts or feelings. The whole issue looks different andnew solutions arise.2 This process, as described, feels good. It releases energyeven if what I find there feels pleasant or unpleasant because the shift contains allmy direct experience both past and present, and from that place, in my body,something deeply meaningful emerges. For me, I experience this as first-personinsight. Through Focusing my living experiences became whole and life servingrather than accidental, coincidental, predetermined or pathological and somethingto be analysed out of existence.


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As Focusing involves deliberately attending down where activity arises and stayingwith something3 this felt sense becomes another object to which I can attend inmy meditation practice. In this process, that part of me that stays with andattends to the felt sense is that same as my observer in meditation but thequality of my attention has a more embracing, less neutral, quality; a kind ofcontent-less self that can speak for the felt sense, can understand it, and can holda safe space for it. In this way, Focusing also brings my attention to bear on thequality of relationship I hold with myself. I have become my own good listener towhat my body knows and holds. I experience Focusing as a particular kind ofrelationship or conversation I have with my own bodily-felt wisdom.

Both Focusing and Buddhism address the issue of being present to our life as it isfelt right now. Both are interested in bringing caring and compassion to ourmoment to moment experience. Both are geared toward reducing human anguish -not by bypassing feelings, but by attending to them just as they are. Bothencourage us to trust the wisdom of our own experience, rather than rely uponexternal authority to tell us what is true or right.4 Both Focusing and meditation

can accompany us to our limits of self-identification because we pay attention atthe edge our awareness where something fresh can come, something with whichwe are not identified or enmeshed. In both practices we are mindful of thediscursive mind, emotions and feelings, sensations and then we open into a deeperawareness and relationship with ourselves that invites insight and acceptance.

So, having developed a solo Focusing practice over the last few years I decided tointroduce Focusing into my mindfulness practice on this retreat. Focusing has 6 keymovements:

1. Clearing a Space: A checking in. Asking how am I just now? oracknowledging what is present.

2. Sensing the felt sense of the experience: What does this experience feel

like? Attending to its unclear, fuzzy edge.3. Finding a handle: What is the quality the Felt Sense How would it like to

be described?4. Resonating: Is this it exactly? until a felt shift occurs that indicates that

the description is meaningful.5. Asking: What is it about x.y.z. that makes me feel like .? What is it all

about? Whats really in this.?6. Receiving: Welcoming whatever comes as a first step in living forward and

being open to something more.

Over the fortnight I noticed three critical shifts in my practice. Firstly, usingClearing a Space at the start of a sit to sense into what had come to the cushionwith me and acknowledging its/their presence. After Clearing a Space I had a morecentred intention to sit, a more spacious start and a safe container for whatevercame in the sit.

Secondly, I rested into the support and warmth of Presence in the relationshipsor interactions I was holding with myself; maintaining a safe container for both theme experiencing and the me noting. Presence is a word also used to describean aware, balanced acceptance of experience. It has the sense of being able toturn towards something with patience, with warmth, with a gentle kindness. Thequality and nature of our Presence influences what will come to our attention. So,

at the start of my sit I may ask myself what quality of Presence or attention do Ineed in this sit, or do I need starting this sit? I invite my body to let me know


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what it needs as a safe container in this moment. Sometimes I get expectedanswers such as compassion, kindness, and warmth. Other times I get unexpectedanswers such as curiosity, opening wider, going easily today, light hovering, orpatience.

Thirdly, I noticed the changing role of noting. At the beginning of a sit notingtended to be on the most predominant sensation eg. Was it physical, feeling orthinking? Oftentimes the noting arose out of a persistent sensation or feeling orthought. So if I had a persistent sensation my back I would go there. If a thoughtpersisted I would go there. I found that just doing simple noting eg planning,planning, planning; pressure, pressure, pressure led me away from the experiencerather than into it. It kind of distanced me and didnt capture the fullness of thatexperience. It also had a sense of separateness from the experience. It felt like astone skipping over the surface of the lake; it was fast, surface oriented andmoving onwards rather than into. So, in the end, rather than just noting Itended to acknowledge or say hello to. For example, ahhhhello thereplanning or hello tugging sensation on the inside of my left kneeI sense you

there.Then I would sense into that something more all about what needed my attentionusing a focusing approach. My attention would rest on this process of getting ahandle and resonating with the direct experience also being aware of the wholequality and journey of movement towards the felt shift where the notingfinally captures just how it is. I would stay open to receiving what came andthen sensing if there was still something more; if yes: staying with it; if not:- goingback to the breath.

I ended up practicing something like this for the most part:

Breath or Bare Awareness as Primary Object

1. Setting up the sit: posture, commitment, intention

2. Bringing attention to the whole body here in this room.

3. Bringing attention to where my body makes contact, up the back,

neck, shoulders, head, face, front of body, contact againrestinginto the support then finally in to the focusing space inside.

4. Checking In: noticing & acknowledging how it is in there

5. Coming to a Clearer Space if needed

6. Inviting my body to let me know the quality of attention it needed

just now; inviting Presence

7. Initially bringing my attention to my primary object, usually the

breath.8. During the Sit: Mindfulness of whatever was arising

9. Allowing when attention moves to secondary object and then

investigating within a Focusing model this was effective on bothmindfulness of body, feelings and thinking.

10. When felt shift occurs moving back to primary object

11. Remaining aware of Presence during the process

Or: Investigation as Primary Object

1. Setting Intention

2. Asking or inviting what my body knows and can show me all

about..x,y,z.


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3. Remaining open in through the Focusing movements to what comes

4. Resting in that awareness

Ending a sit:

1. Recollecting experience2. Coming out mindfully

3. Letting go; becoming mindful of next experience (usually trying to

get up gracefully despite stiffness and creaking joints)

I had a number of insightful experiences incorporating Focusing and meditation. Iwas able to be with the bodys experience, the feelings and the thoughts. One sit,in particular around inviting what my body knew and could show me all aboutcalm and concentrated meditation was surprising and affirming. I found that Iwas able to just sit for up to two hours, and up to this point I had been hangingout for the 45 minute bell). I became very aware of the quality of Presence, and I

can only describe the experience as going from sticky (thoughts stick, sensationsstick etc) to slippery & smooth. My breath became very smooth and even, thoughtscame and went but didnt drag on my attention and body sensations were just bodysensations; just another potential point of focus; but a real sense of physical andmental ease developed. I can remember thinking my heart is still and there is nowhere to go, no other place to be. The detail in those sits was phenomenal and Iremember feeling so at home allowing and enjoying waves of joy and gratitudeat the richness of it all and how my body just knew. These sits lasted for 2 days(and then I got attached to them and all kinds of other responses arose which wereinteresting in themselves as a meditation object but not half as pleasant).

How about that!!!!!! My body did know and could show me. Focusing gave me a

way to invite and allow and stay with my present experience and withinvestigation. Focusing has taught me to trust my own ability to hold a safe spacefor exploration, to wait for and welcome fresh insights as they arise from mybodily-felt direct experience, just in this moment.

1. Kearney, P., Introducing the Mahasi Method, May 2006,

http://dharmasalon.net/page4/files/06_Mahasi_method

2. Focusing Institute, Focusing Fact Sheet, www.focusing.org/fact_sheet.asp

3. Gendlin, E., Focusing Oriented Psychotherapy, Guildford Press, New York,

1996, p.19

4. Amodeo, J., Focusing and the Spiritual Life,www.focusing.org/focusing_and_the_spiritual_life.html
http://www.focusing.org/focusing_and_the_spiritual_life.htmlhttp://www.focusing.org/focusing_and_the_spiritual_life.html

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Focusing & Mediation Reflection