a journey in discoveringyour authentic

AWESOMENESSby Nina L. Kovner

FOLLOWYOURHEART

For my Dad in heaven.

Gratitude

One does not write a book alone. To my teachers who understood me, and the ones who said I would

never amount to anything. Thank you to my cheerleaders and my haters. You both have pushed me to

be a better human. Thank you to The Falls Salon, Davidson Beauty Supply, John Paul Mitchell Systems

and A Robert Cromeans Salon for showing me how to create awesome in business. Thank you to John

Paul DeJoria, Luke Jacobellis and Robert Cromeans who made an insane impact on my brain and my

heart. Thank you to The Meadows for helping me get my life back, to my best friend Lisa for lovingly

delivering me there, and to my therapist who to this day is one of my biggest fans yet has no problem

calling me out when I need it. My friends who believed in me and supported all of my crazy ideas, put

up with my shit and loved me anyway, you know who you are. Thank you Sandra Curitore, the

awesome designer of this book, for taking what was just words on a piece of paper and making them

real and awesome looking, and to my Mom and Sister for proofreading a gazillion times. Most of all,

thank you to my family, Dr. Victor Kovner, Suzanne Kovner, Donna Kovner, Lisa Kovner and Victor

Kovner for giving me the unconditional love I needed get my life back, and for that, I am forever grateful.

Melody Beattie

Gratitude unlocks the fullnessof life. It turns what we haveinto enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaosto order, confusion to clarity.It can turn a meal into a feast,a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a visionfor tomorrow.

This is the quote that saved my life and is inked onmy arm, in case I forget. It did save my life afterall and today I do my best to try to live.

forwardThe Beginning

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threePromise

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fourPeople

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afterwordOne Last Thought

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aboutThe Author

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There is somethingabout the letter P for me…As I sit on my couch on the first day of 2013, I am reflecting on what it is about this damn letter

that is threaded throughout my career and life. I have also been on a very deep and painful

journey the last few years and have this immense need to live an authentically awesome life.

To be honest, which I am, almost brutally, I feel like most of my life was lived by another person,

one who I think I have finally put to rest. It was not me, which I know for sure.

I really began to discover my first P—my purpose—when I walked through the doors of

Potomac Academy of Hair Design. Yep, I went to “B” school… I am a beauty school graduate,

and it's by far one of my proudest accomplishments.

Then I realized the majority of my career was spent with one of the most awesome companies

on the planet (there’s that P again): Paul Mitchell. Now there is Passion Squared, a company I

started with my friend Gordon Miller, which is now my own passion project and allows me to live

my purpose every day and serve the people who I love. In 2012, I actually bought a Prius. Yes,

I am that girl. Well, actually, I am not that girl. Yoga makes me feel aggressive, I am not a vegan,

I try to recycle (but admit I’m not very good at it) and I smoke. The Prius was a way to lower my

bills so I could pursue my Ps. It’s really that simple. I happen to absolutely love that little car.

The only challenge sometimes is finding it in a parking lot in LA, as most lots are filled to the

brim with black Pruis’. But I digress. OK, so clearly there is something about me and the letter P.

Was it my overdosing on Sesame Street as a child? Probably not. I was too busy listening to

Led Zeppelin, Queen, Billy Squire and Aerosmith.

So what is it about P?As I have evolved in my life, and my career, it becomes very clear. It’s what the letter P

represents to me. It’s my values, my beliefs, which can be so neatly wrapped up in four words,

which yes, all start with the letter P:

PurposePromisePassionPeople

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Before you read on,here are some things you may want to know about me and my philosophy

(there it is again, awesome, right?).

Who I am:

Who I am not:A theorist, who is going share a bunch ofBS theories that they learned somewhere butnever lived through. Nope, I only speak frommy own real experiences. Perfect? Not even close. Yogi, expert, guru-titles typically make me cringe to be honest, because seriously,are we all not just people? You will be sohappy and free when you release the needto put a title on everything, including yourself,and that just happens to be the title of my next book, Untitled.

RealHonestPerfectly imperfectRawTattooedA big fan of the F word, not as muchas the P word, but you get my drift.

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“He who has a why to live for canbear almost any how.”- Friedrich Nietzsche

How many times have we been told to go out and find our purpose? They don’t tell us how.

Just do it. Seriously, how in the heck am I supposed to find it? Is it in my house, in the ocean,

did I throw it away by accident?

Knowing your WHY is the most important discovery a human can ever find.

Here is my experience.

1. Everyone’s Purpose Is Different.Sometimes when we are young and unsure of ourselves (or old and unsure of ourselves),

through the pressures of the outside world (yes, that means everyone), we get confused and

lock onto someone else’s purpose. Sound familiar? It just never feels right.

What I can tell you from my experience is that your purpose is not someone else’s. You have

to find your own purpose, and accept that it will evolve over time. Patience. Ugh, there is that

word again, and not one of my favorite P words, that’s for sure.

Your purpose is not someone else’s. You have to find yourown purpose, and accept thatit will evolve over time.

2. Listen To Your Inner GPS.I found the GPS quote on Pinterest and it totally expressed how I feel about my own purpose.

It is very personal, and can crop up when you least expect it.

One of my greatest life lessons was to create a space where I can get as quiet as possible, and

learning to listen to my “inside voice”. And not the one that says you are fat, worthless, ugly,

your singing voice sucks, I am talking about the other one... the one that says, “this feels good.”

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3. What are you doing when you see other people’s lights go on?Let me explain. You know the feeling of being on a roll? When everything just feels right?

Then you also know when you are able to ignite something in someone else, be it a piece of art,

a picture you captured, a class you taught, a presentation you gave, a haircut you did...there is

something that you do that lights up other people. Listen and be aware of those moments.

They are precious (yep, another one) and can help you discover what your true purpose is.

4. Release Your Obsession With Finding It.What the hell? I know what you’re thinking: you have just taken up 20 minutes of my life to tell

me to find my purpose then you say what? OK, I know, just hear me out…

One of the crazy things about us humans is that our brain is obsessed with applying meaning

to everything. Most of the time it is messed up meaning. You feel me? Now let me be clear:

I believe everything happens for a reason, in Karma, in nothing is an accident, in finding the

lesson in everything. However, that is not what I am talking about here. In this case, I am

speaking about letting go, not trying so hard, not trying to manipulate things in order to

complete the task.

Finding our purpose is an evolution and is a process, so trust the process, and relax. It will be

revealed to you if you practice steps 1-3.

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“Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”- Joseph Campbell

1. What makes your heart sing?Now for us creative types, this one is actually pretty easy to understand.

You know it when you feel it. Your heart swells with love, joy, understanding and belonging.

The actual feeling I got my first day of beauty school, not only had I found my purpose,

I found my passion as well. All these years later, with many trials and tribulations and

soul searching, I have discovered all of my Ps.

2. What makes the little hairs on the back of your neck stand up?In a good way and in a not so good way.

What do I mean? Well I had no idea I was so passionate about anti-bullying until I experienced

it for myself, as an adult, only a few short years ago. Yes, it made the hairs on the back of my

neck stand up.

What a tragedy it is when someone is so unhappy with themselves that they feel the need to

bully another person. While I practice forgiveness, with all of my life’s wrongs, I will never forget.

That is a passion of mine: Standing up for those who do not have the tools or

ability to stand up for themselves.

Teasing is another one. I absolutely cannot handle teasing, very much like bullying. It makes

my entire soul tremble. So remember, what makes your heart sing, all of those happy passions,

and what make the hairs on your neck stands up, those are passions too.

3. What are you willing to sacrifice?Ah, this is a big one for me, and will be a big one for you, too; if you understand and accept it.

Everything in life requires some type of sacrifice in order to achieve a result. Eat crappy food,

get fat. Exercise, get healthy. Want to travel the world with a backpack? End the relationship

with the love of your life that has no desire to travel.

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Now I am not saying you have to give up everything that is near and dear to you, what I am

saying is that you have to be willing to give up the life you think you want for the life that you truly

want in your heart. This does not mean living on the streets. Money is a good thing. It provides

us with freedom, comfort and necessities. I have learned this the hard way.

In the beginning of my career (well, to be honest, my entire career) I sacrificed my relationships,

my family, and myself in order to pursue what I thought was my passion. Was it an awesome

experience? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes. I believe in lessons, not regrets. But the other side of

sacrifices is what I am doing now. Giving up all of the fame and fortune and perfect life everyone

thought I had, in order to live out my true calling, which is writing, creating my form of art and

helping empower others to live with love, authenticity, success and peace in their lives.

Sacrifice also speaks to friendships and loved ones. Are you willing to be seen as a bitch for

being passionate? Lose friends? Not be the most popular kid on the block? One of my heroes

and mentors John Paul DeJoria said to me one day…”Nina, I would rather have a passionate bitch

working for me than someone who does not care”. One of the gazillion reasons I love that man.

Everything in life requires some type of sacrifice in order to achieve a result.

4. Can you make a living, a life?As mentioned above, you can follow your passion and be as rich as a king, or poor as a pauper.

There is not a right or wrong way. But making a living and a life can only be defined by you... not

society, not your parents, not your teachers or significant other, only you.

What does making a living mean to you? Is it about collecting material things? Experiences?

Getting by? Having a roof over your head and a meal on the table? You see, you get to define

what making a life is, and it is absolutely possible to make a living and a life around your

passion, if you choose it to be.

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“Keep all your promises, don't takewhat doesn't belong to you, and alwayslook after those less fortunate thanyourself, and you'll do well in the world.”- Rebecca Rupp

1. What are your personal andprofessional boundaries?Now this is not one of my favorite words, which makes sense because it starts with a B.

To be totally honest, until I crashed and burned in 2007 and came very close to ending my life

(lots more about that story will be revealed in my next book, Untitled) I had no idea what a

boundary was. Seriously. No clue. Needless to say, my life had none. And in turn, my life and

my mind spiraled out of control.

My focus here and now is about the promises we keep to ourselves, and what we value.

While that sounds so cliché, it does represent the promise we make to ourselves about what we

are about. What are you about? I am about compassion, love, peace, mentoring, empowerment,

lifting people up, honesty, commitment and good ol' hard work. If you ask anyone who knows

me, I am pretty sure some of these words will come up, at least I hope they do. I have worked

hard on my promise, and I continue to everyday.

2. Is there anything you won’t do?One of the most difficult parts of the “business world” for me is the dishonesty and unethical shit

that goes down on a daily basis. Not all businesses, but a lot of them.

It’s important to understand your own boundaries when it comes to how it fits with your promise,

to yourself and to the people around you.

Here are some things I won’t do: lie, make shit up, pretend to know something I don't know,

be abused (emotionally, verbally or physically) both in the workplace and personal space,

and support a cause I do not believe in. So those are mine. What are yours?

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It’s important to understandyour own boundaries when it comes to how it fits with your promise, to yourself and tothe people around you.

3. What do you want to be known for?We have all heard the phrase “what would you want people to read about you when you go to

heaven”, you know, what would be put on your gravestone? But you know what? I kind of like

the concept, as it puts things in perspective.

What do you want people to know you for? When people are talking behind your back, which

they do and will, what do you want them to say?

4. Under promise, over deliver.This may be one of the biggest things to take to heart when it comes to promise.

We have all seen it. People shouting from the rooftops all the awesome things they are going

to do. Really? How about just do it, then let us all know when you are done. Too many times this

one really bites us in the ass. There is nothing noble about hype. And yes, while I spent years in

marketing, remember, my education was in a beauty school, and I always prided myself and still

do to be a no-hype biz + life gal.

There is also a reason I am no longer a traditional marketer. I was never good at the hype.

The best thing to do in both business and life is to stay humble, do good work, and share it.

No need for hype and big empty promises.

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“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”- Maya Angelou

1. Independence is a myth,Interdependence Rules.Whoever says they want to be independent is full of shit. You may not agree with me and it’s

all-good. I appreciate you sticking with me as I explain my position.

I was one of those girls. You know, the “I can do it myself” girl. The “I don't need anybody” girl,

the “ I am fine on my own, I don't need a relationship” girl. Guess what, that’s complete BS.

We must not ever confuse independence with interdependence. The world is meant to be

interdependent. We need each other. We thrive on relationships. Now more than ever we

crave connections, companions, and commitment.

Now I am not necessarily talking about a love situation (remember I said I only speak from

my real life experiences, and love relationships is one I have yet to conquer successfully),

I am talking about life in general. So remember, you need people, I need people, and we all

need each other to travel on this wild journey. So get off your high horse and start connecting

with others… and ask for help.

2. The Car Pool Lane.I absolutely love this example of the importance of having people around us, in order to live

out our purpose, our promise, and a our passions.

This one is simple: everything runs smoother in the car pool lane. Why? Cause there are two or

more people. Of course I am not talking about the fake person or mannequin head some put in

their car, I am talking about a real breathing human.

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3. It’s about people.The one thing that will help you on your road to blissful happiness and living an authentically

awesome life is to accept and understand that everything is about people. Business,

relationships, family, the social web, customers, clients, team members. It’s just the way it is.

People are not things. People are human souls. Always remember to be people focused,

to respect, support and love people, even if they act unlovable, this is the key to finding your

inner awesomeness.

4. Relationships Are Everything.Yes, I know, it’s not a P word but in all seriousness, when we really get quiet and think about it,

everything is founded in relationships.

With our family, our friends, our co-workers, our barista at Starbucks, it’s all about relationships.

Value them. Cultivate them. Cherish them. Honor them.

If you are ever to authentically live your life out loud, with purpose, promise and passion, it will

take a lot of people a long the way to lift you up. I have been blessed with having many good

ones, as well as unfortunately destroying some good ones and releasing some bad ones. It's a

process (there’s that P, again) as is life.

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“The future depends on what you do today.”- Mahatma Gandhi

So here is your super handy worksheet. I suggest getting into a quiet space,

and just write away. Revisit your list every few months, or even 1 time a year…as often,

as you need. Remember, it’s perfectly OK to not know the answer. The answer will come.

It always does.

If you are ever to truly liveyour life out loud, with purpose, promise and passion, it willtake a lot of relationshipsand people a long the wayto lift you up.

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My Purpose.What is my inner GPS telling me?

What am I doing when you see others people’s lights go on?

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My Passion.What makes my heart sing?

What makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up?

What am I willing to sacrifice to live my passion?

How can I make a living and a life with my passion?

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My Promise.What are my personal and professional boundaries?

What wont I do to live my authentic awesomeness?

What do I want to be known for?

What promises am I going to make to myself? My family? Co-Workers? Friends?

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My People.Who do I want in my car pool lane?

Which people in my life am I grateful for?

Which relationships do I need to work on?

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We have all heard it a million times.Life is not a dress rehearsal. Well, I think it is.Striving for perfection is so overrated and many times deadly. Yes, I said it. All of the people

who unknowingly put insane amounts of pressure on us to hold up to some ridiculous ideal

are not doing us any favors.

I like to call it being perfectyly, imperfect. One of the many things I took away from my 35 days

in Arizona, or what many people refer to as rehab, was accepting that I was a precious, perfectly

imperfect being. It has allowed me to be kind to myself, one of the most difficult things for me to do.

With life being one big lesson, we can thank those people for the lesson and move forward into

awesomeness. Discover your P’s and stay true to them. Our world will be so much more

awesome and so will you.

In the end, I believe ourpurpose is to be our authentic selves. To remove our masks.To use our fears as our creative fuel. To empower the lives of others whether it is througha touch, a smile, a haircut,or a helping hand.

afterword

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Nina L. Kovner was born and raised in Los Angeles. A rebel at heart, she has chosen

to live an unconventional life. From the shampoo room to the corporate boardroom,

Nina has seen and experienced many lifetimes in her four + decades on this planet.

Her passion is empowering people, through her business Passion Squared where she offers

mentoring and business services in the beauty and wellness industries. She resides in

Hollywood with her canine companions Zen Louis Kovner and Faith Marie Kovner.

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about

Friedrich Nietzsche

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldnot hear the music.

PassionSquaredwww.passionsquared.net

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Published by: PassionSquared Press 2014