FWO Prayer Call- August 20, 2018

Back to School

2 Timothy 2:15 King James Version (KJV)

15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

2 Timothy 2:15 (Amplified Bible)

Study and do your best to present yourself to God approved, a workman [tested by trial] who has no reason to be ashamed, accurately handling and skillfully teaching the word of truth.

To Study or Not to Study Your Husband: 9 Benefits to Studying Your Husbandby Kimberly Walton | Sep 16, 2017 | Blog, Love | 4 comments

I appreciate it when my husband does something really sweet for me.Whether it’s rare or commonplace, it warms my heart when he takes the time to study me and figure out how I will react to a gift, a date, or any means of expressing affection. Unlike when someone gives you a gift that will sit and collect dust or end up re-gifted. Yes, I admit it. I have re-gifted things. Especially, if I think the gift is ideal for someone else.The underlying intention is important. A gift that “fits” me makes me feel as though I matter.

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What if you became an expert at what your mate likes and doesn’t like?  In my INLOVE approach to relationships, the L is for learning about your mate. You might think you already know everything about him or even believe you shouldn’t have to accommodate him, but let me suggest how consciously studying him can bring you joy and fantastic results in your marriage.

9 Reasons I Study My Husband & How They Can Help Your Marriage1. To Connect More Easily, Deeply, & PracticallyWhen we play the game of studying our men, we simply make mental notes of what he likes and dislikes. We can do this by asking questions or just observing how he reacts to different things. If he thanks you for doing things for him, no matter how small or insignificant they are, make a note!Likewise, if you notice he didn’t respond to some great effort you put forth, stop blaming him. Learn about him instead. What’s important to you might not be that important to him.

2. To Support in Times of TragedyOur husband are gifts from God. They are truly amazing. For all the times my husband was/is there for me, I want to be there for him. What better way to do this than watching him and making a mental note of his likes, dislikes, preferences, and passions? When the time comes that he may need comfort, I want to be there in the most profound way, just like he’s been there for me and our family.

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3. For the Fun of ItI approach marriage with a serious understanding of scriptural commandments to love each other. But, you know what, there’s nothing wrong with loving each other for the fun of it.Probably the best-kept secret is it’s really fun to be in a marriage in which the two of you love each other very much. You can choose to make it a chore, or you can choose to focus on the things you really do love about each other.Ask yourself this: if you know all it takes to please him is to wear red or make some macaroni, wouldn’t it be fun to surprise him with those things once in awhile? You don’t have to make a chore of it. Instead make it fun.

4. To Be “Sly & Intriguing”Make it a game. Make it fun.This is like one of those efforts you do just for yourself, and not to make an impression on someone else. Let’s say you were playing tennis with a Lobster machine. You don’t care if anyone’s paying attention to your swing (they’re not). You’re doing it for you. I know from playing sports as a teen — if you want to be good at playing a game, you need to practice.Maybe you don’t see marriage as a game, but maybe that’s why so many of them are troubled. Why not study your mate just to see if you can figure him out? Study him to notice what is unique and special, not to look for flaws and weaknesses. Make it your version of I Spy 

5. So You Both Get What You Need When You Need ItMy husband used to track my “cycle” with a phone app, although nowadays, I don’t have much to track. Some of my friends were utterly offended on my behalf, but

understanding my cycle — if a man ever really can   — was his way of being prepared to “have my back” when I might be physically, mentally, and emotionally not at

my best. This simple act of observing me allowed him to be more kind, understanding, and helpful.  He would take on more tasks, bring me flowers, buy my favorite snack, etc. What a man!Since I started studying him, I’ve been able to respond to his needs better, too. As a couple, this lighthearted approach has made us close enough we can often predict when the other needs a little play time, distance, or talking. And knowing this makes our lives easier.

6. To Feed Your CuriosityHere are some questions you can ask yourself about your mate. If you don’t know the answers, ask him or just watch him until you figure them out.

What are his “tells” when he is stressed or nervous? My hubby rubs his forehead when

stressed, deep in thought or something is troubling him.

How does he recharge? And does it involve time alone or with others?

Do you know his favorite food, dessert, or drink?

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Does he have a favorite childhood memory?

What’s his favorite activity – sports, concerts, sailing, lectures, or other?

If he could travel anywhere in the world, where would he go? Asking this question is

what led Joel and I to take a trip to Europe and Israel.

What would he do if he won the lottery for 10 million dollars?

What is his favorite article of clothing? Why? Is it the color? The texture? The fit?

If you went to a restaurant, could you order a meal for him he would like?

What is his love language?  His top basic need?

What does he think are his best and worst attributes?I could go on and on. There are unlimited possibilities for learning about your husband, and knowledge is power.

7. To Make Your Girlfriends EnviousEventually, your friends are going to start realizing you’re having more fun and living life with your husband more lightly. You might just get asked, “What’s going on with you two?”Some of them might be afraid you’re selling out and turning into a doormat if you study your husband. Nothing could be further from the truth. You’re already married – you’re just making the most of it. And the game is really for you, after all.

8. To Save Yourself Effort & HeartacheIf you’re familiar with the 5 Love Languages then you understand how we express our love and how we want to be shown love may not always match up. Showing your mate love with gifts if his top love language is time will not get you the best results.When you know what your husband loves at different times, seasons, and occasions, you can be ready for it. And it just makes life simpler. And happier.

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9. To Revive Your Interest in MarriageThe bottom line is when you put your attention into learning anything, you start discovering nuances you didn’t previously notice. At the very least, you’re going to confirm what you already know about your mate, so you can focus on what he truly likes. Ideally, you’ll find out some new information about him that was there all along.INLOVE includes valuing, appreciating, and yes, even accommodating the differences between you two and your individual quirks. You don’t have to be in a creepy Stepford Wife mode or turn into a codependent. Make it light, and focus on what makes your mate happy.

Remember, great things often start with the smallest of steps.Happy studying, friend,

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https://www.intoxicatedonlife.com/2013/10/21/heart-heart-time-spouse-50-things-ask/

Heart-to-Heart Time with Your Spouse – 50 things to ask each other

Let’s talk about ‘Heart to Heart’ Time with Your Spouse.

After almost 14 years of marriage, with 5 pregnancies, 3 beautiful children running around our feet, and the odd trial (or more) that has affected the maturity and character of our marriage, we are still committed to both work at growing and investing into our relationship for the better.

In the midst of all that fills our lives at present, particularly with young children, I think sometimes we get too casual with growing closer and being intentional about feeding our love for one another. Some days my husband and I can put our heads on the pillow without having really connected—besides talking kids, money, house, and work. We’ve gotten no deeper than asking how each others days were.

We already have ‘Heart-to-Heart’ nights with the children once a week. And now we hope to add times of heart connection with each other where we can share freely, and grow in trust and love for one another. I’m so hungry to do this!

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To make this ‘Heart to Heart’ time with your spouse work properly, make sure you set the time aside exclusively just for the two of you and with as much quiet and freedom from distraction as possible. Come together with a willingness to listen and hear, be humble of heart, be courageous to trust one another, remember not to correct or react to answers that are more difficult to hear, and allow yourself to become vulnerable enough to bare your heart to your spouse.

Heart to Heart Time with Your Spouse: 50 things to ask each other

Here I’d like to share with you some starters for a heart-to-heart time with your spouse. Some of these questions are light, but others are a little more thoughtful. Hopefully these will provide a starting point for opportunities to laugh, cry, pray, and most of all, connect and grow closer.

1. What are some books you’ve really enjoyed?

2. What books would you like to read sometime?

3. What are your favourite foods?

4. What did you want to be when you grew up?

5. What is some of your favorite memories from your childhood?

6. What are some of the more difficult memories from your childhood?

7. What are you favorite hobbies?

8. What did your parents teach you that you appreciate now?

9. What did your parents say or do that you found difficult?

10. Who is someone that inspires you?

11. What do you like us doing together?

12. What would you like to do together in future, just the two of us?

13. What would you like to do together in future, all of us with the kids too?

14. What is your favorite passage of Scripture?

15. What is your favorite memory verse?

16. What are your greatest strengths?

17. What are your greatest weaknesses?

18. What overwhelms you?

19. What is concerning you?

20. What are you fearful of?

21. Are you content at present?

22. What makes you happy?

23. How can I add to your happiness?

24. What do you find attractive about me?

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25. When did you know you wanted to marry me?

26. What are some of your favorite memories of us?

27. How do you like me saying ‘I love you’ the most—words, gifts, or touch?

28. How can I demonstrate my love for you in different ways?

29. What do I do that irritates or frustrates you?

30. How can I help you be a better husband/wife?

31. How can I help you be a better father/mother?

32. How can I better meet your physical needs and desires?

33. How can I better meet your emotional needs and desires?

34. What can I do to encourage and support you better?

35. Where do you see us in 5 years time? In 10 years time?

36. Is there anything in your heart that you need to forgive me for?

37. In what ways do you think we love differently?

38. In what ways do you think we parent differently?

39. Describe to me your relationship with God at present.

40. Tell me about a memorable time you connected with God.

41. What do you love about each of our children?

42. What hopes and dreams do you have for each of our children?

43. What are you most thankful for?

44. How have you changed since we married?

45. What do you like about our marriage?

46. What would you like to change about our marriage?

47. What spiritual gifts to you see in me?

48. Is there anything you regret?

49. Tell me something about yourself that I may not know.

50. What are some of your greatest hopes?

100+ heart-to-heart questionshttps://www.focusonthefamily.ca/content/100-heart-to-heart-questions

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Asking questions is one way to keep exploring the many dimensions of your multi-faceted spouse and to keep your lines of communication open. Check back regularly to see our new ideas! If you have any suggestions of your own to share, we would love to hear from you! Email your tips to editor@fotf.ca.

1. What’s one thing you would include in your dream house?

2. How can I better speak your love language?

3. In what ways can we be more on the same team?

4. What makes you feel the most alive?

5. How can I help you when you're feeling overwhelmed?

6. What was your favourite hobby as a child?

7. When do you feel closest with God?

8. How can I help you feel more comfortable when we talk?

9. What boundaries can we set with others to protect our marriage?

10. Do you need time alone or time with others to feel energized?

11. In what ways can I better support you in our marriage?

12. What boundaries do we need to set with our extended families?

13. What can we do to protect our marriage from digital infidelity?

14. What can we do to intentionally seek oneness in our marriage?

15. What can we do to be better stewards of our finances?

16. What area of our marriage are we neglecting?

17. Where can we find romance in our daily lives?

18. What are three things I’ve done to make you feel cherished and honoured?

19. What boundaries do we need to set with our parents to put our marriage first?

20. How can we strengthen our marriage before crisis hits?

21. How can we show more kindness to each other and to those around us?

22. How can we manage our money better as a couple?

23. How can we help those in our community who are grieving?

24. What can we do to serve each other more like Christ?

25. What was the most useful premarital discussion we had?

26. What do you appreciate about our marriage?

27. What does our marriage look like from the outside in?

28. How can we make God the centre of our marriage?

29. What would you like to accomplish as a couple this year?

30. What can I do to improve our relationship with your family?

31. What are some ways my personality can be pushed to an extreme?9

32. What are some ways our marriage has helped you grow spiritually?

33. What are some ways we can prioritize our marriage?

34. What are you grateful for in our marriage?

35. What was one expectation you had about our marriage?

36. Which of your strengths do you most value?

37. What's a clear answer to prayer you've experienced?

38. What's your most memorable moment of our wedding day?

39. What is your favourite way of spending time with me?

40. What's something you miss about your childhood?

41. Whose marriage do you admire, and what can we learn from it?

42. What moment in history would you like to have been a part of?

43. What's one thing that made you laugh today?

44. What’s one thing I did this week that impressed you?

45. What is the most valuable thing we own?

46. Which friend has most influenced you and how?

47. What's the silliest fight we've ever had?

48. How can I show love/respect to you when we're in public?

49. What do you most appreciate about our church?

50. How can I help you accomplish your New Year resolution?

51. What is your favourite way to worship God?

52. What has been the most difficult struggle in your life so far?

53. What goals would you like us to achieve before the end of the year?

54. What area of our marriage are you most proud of? What’s an area you’d like to see us improve

upon?

55. What is your favourite summertime memory from your childhood?

56. What was your favourite chore as a child? What was your least favourite?

57. What is something you have always wanted to try?

58. As your spouse, how can I better nurture our relationship?

59. What does "quality time" mean to you?

60. What are three occupations that you could never do? Why?

61. What is your biggest goal for the new year? In what ways can I help you achieve this?

62. What is your favourite part of the Christmas story? Why?

63. What is the most generous thing anyone has ever done for you?

64. Who was your role model growing up? Why did you look to them as an example?

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65. How would you like to see us grow in our marriage by the end of the year?

66. If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

67. Are you ever frightened about the future? If so, what frightens you?

68. What are you most looking forward to about this year?

69. If you were to open a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

70. What would you say is your greatest achievement? Why?

71. When did you know that I was the one you were meant to marry?

72. If you could make a living using a favourite hobby, which hobby would you choose?

73. With what celebrity could you see yourself having a lot in common?

74. What is your favourite memory of your grandparents?

75. When you were a child, what did you dream of becoming one day?

76. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?

77. How have you changed through our marriage?

78. Describe your current relationship with God.

79. What’s your most favourite date activity?

80. What do you most vividly remember about our first date?

81. What aspect of our marriage would you like to work on this year?

82. What is your fondest childhood Christmas memory?

83. What do you like most about fall?

84. What are the top five things you are most thankful for in your life?

85. Which literary character is a lot like you?

86. How do you see things differently since becoming married?

87. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

88. What is the most embarrassing thing you ever did on your first job?

89. What's the funniest thing you ever did as a kid?

90. What are your retirement dreams?

91. What do you like most about our marriage and why?

92. What have you been learning about God lately?

93. What do you hope for our marriage this year?

94. What are your expectations for this Christmas?

95. Which holidays of the year are important to you and why?

96. What are you most thankful for about our marriage?

97. What do you admire most about each of your parents?

98. What things in life bring you the most joy?

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99. What are some of your best memories of our married life so far?

100. What hopes do you have for our marriage and family?

101. Tell me about the first time you saw God's hand at work in your life.

102. What do you think are the strengths/weaknesses of our marriage?

103. (Ask each other:) What spiritual gifts do you see in me?

104. What kinds of hobbies do you wish we could do together?

105. What are some practical ways I can make you feel loved?

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