Forbes- 5 Ways to Determine if Your Communication Style is Hurting Your Career

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23/10/2014 5 Ways to Determine If Your Communication Style is Hurting Your Career - Forbes

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5 Ways to Determine If YourCommunication Style is HurtingYour Career

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Our communication style and approach speak volumes

about how we view ourselves and others. It also reveals

important clues about our sense of worth, power andability to lead and manage effectively. Everything we

do is communication we cant NOT communicate.

Unfortunately, for a large number of professional

women, communicating powerfully and authoritatively

in the workplace and in their professional endeavors is

a deep challenge.

Why do so many women struggle to be confident and

authoritative communicators?

There are numerous colliding factors that contribute to womens

communication challenges in the workplace.

First, gender stereotypes abound. For instance, research showsthat success

and likability in the professional arena are positively correlated for men and

negatively correlated for women. This means that the more successful or

assertive a woman appears, the more she is judged negatively and disliked for

it. Being criticized harshly for success consciously and subconsciously

impacts how strident, self-assured and successful a woman wishes to appear.

Secondly, as senior leadership remains the bailiwick of men (women make up

only 16%of senior corporate leadership in the U.S. today), a more male

style of communicating remains dominant and is more accepted and

understood. Recent research findings have shown that men and womens

communication approaches differ in 10 important ways. Further, men and

women are culturally encouraged and trained (from early childhood on) to

Kathy CaprinoContributor

I cover careers, leadership and women in business

Opinions expressed by F orbes Contributors are their own.
http://www.forbes.com/forbeswomanhttp://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/http://curiosity.discovery.com/topic/gender-gap/10-ways-men-women-comminucate-differently.htmhttp://curiosity.discovery.com/topic/gender-gap/10-ways-men-women-comminucate-differently.htmhttp://curiosity.discovery.com/topic/gender-gap/10-ways-men-women-comminucate-differently.htmhttp://catalyst.org/publication/433/women-on-boardshttp://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/http://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/http://curiosity.discovery.com/topic/gender-gap/10-ways-men-women-comminucate-differently.htmhttp://catalyst.org/publication/433/women-on-boardshttp://www.gsb.stanford.edu/news/headlines/wim_martin07.shtmlhttp://www.forbes.com/forbeswomanhttp://onforb.es/wn4t5Lhttp://www.forbes.com/


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focus on different outcomes and tasks through their communication (and

brain anatomy plays a partas well). These core differences in style and

approachaffect how womens communication is received and perceived.

Women can use the above realities as excuses to hold them back, or they can

navigate through them, and insist on nothing less than powerful and

authoritative communication.

Does your communication approach need modification? Heres

how you can determine if your communication style is hurting your

career:

1) People dont respond well to your words and actions

In a seminar I gave last week at Pepperidge Farm on Fostering Collaboration

in Communications and Relationships, we discussed how you can see,

immediately, without question, how well you communicate by the outcomes

you receive.

When you speak, or present at a meeting or run your staff meetings, what

happens? Do your colleagues respond positively? Do they want to follow-up

on your initiatives and suggestions, or shoot them down? Do they support you,

or criticize your contribution? In the end, do you engender loyalty, support

and trust, or do people walk over you or put you down when you

communicate?

2) Your point doesnt get made

Another indicator of your communication effectiveness is if you feel you get

your point across, and that your input is considered. When you speak, do

others listen well, and get what youre saying? Does the conversation build on

what youve offered, or does it veer off immediately to focus on another topic,

or another persons input?

3) Youre not taken seriously

You cant grow your career and advance to leadership if youre not taken

seriously. Do you communicate in a way that makes people believe that youknow what youre talking about? Have you mastered the necessary

information/skills/material you need to be an expert in what youre sharing?

And can you communicate in a way that demonstrates your intellectual and

professional abilities? Have you developed the personal clout that will ensure

youll be listened to, even if you dont have the necessary data to support you at

that moment?

4) Theres backlash from your words
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If theres negative backlash every time you offer a suggestion or initiative to

consider, then its time to look at how (and why) youre presenting your ideas.

Perhaps you havent considered the ramifications or repercussions of your

ideas, or are threatening others without knowing it. A powerful

communicator knows his/her audience well, and understands the hidden

agendas there. S/he knows what to do to neutralize the fear others may have.

The effective communicator knows what emotions and thoughts her words will

elicit in the mind of the listener.

5) Nothing is remembered from what youve shared

Finally, do you feel invisible? Do you contribute at meetings or in

conversation but simply get talked over, and no one recalls that you spoke? If

so, this is a sign that your internal and external power as a contributor and a

player isnt sufficient to hold others attention. You can change your power

quotient, but first you have to acknowledge the power dynamic at work.

If any of these outcomes describe your experience, its important to becomeaccountable for whats happening and not blame others. After all, if youre

not getting the outcomes you desire, you have to look inward and own your

part of it.

Get help to power upyour verbal and non-verbal communication. Dont make

the mistake that some of my executive coaching clients do in thinking, Well,

thats just me. I cant change how I speak or behave thats my personality.

You can indeed improve your communication style and approach, and make

them more effective, successful and empowered. And your career with thank

you when you do.

What do you struggle with most in your communications?
http://www.elliacommunications.com/coaching-services/#Career_Breakthrough_Coachinghttp://onforb.es/wn4t5L

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Forbes- 5 Ways to Determine if Your Communication Style is Hurting Your Career